the most rich and excellent piece of all in his own particular property and degree The fifth discourse Soul AS you put me in mind of one thing I should have forgotten so you have embolden'd me to ask another I should else have been asham'd to propose and yet I confesse it has a great power mastery over my affections 't is that I love to be beloved If any shew the least signe of kindnesse for me methinks presently they are the best persons in the world neither is there so poor a wretch but if I see in him a hearty expression of love towards me I cannot chuse but love him again Alas what do I talk of Men if a little Dog or Bird or any other dumb Creature come once to take a haunt to me and be delighted in my pany 't is a death to see any harm befall them and I find a very great satisfaction and content to see them play and pleas'd according to their low manner Now if this love be wanting in Heaven I fear 't will put me out of conceit with the pleasures there Light You are too fearfull and too little considerate of the joyes you aim at Think but with your self that Charity is nothing but the love of God and your Neighbour that 't is the way to Heaven and that of our three guides and conducters thither onely that remains with us and see then whether there can be any fear you shall want love Consider that the principall and main employment in Heaven is nothing else but to love and be beloved and those there are the greatest lovers who are in the greatest favour and highest glory For God himself is love and none is in God or God in them but by love Measure therefore with your thoughts the scope of Heaven from Gods eternall throne to the least child which by Baptisme is made partaker of the Adoption of Christ and be sure that all these shall love you you especially love you as much as if there were no others to be belov'd but only your self that the higher and greater every one is the more ardent expressive and effectuall shall his love be to you in person in particular by name and design What do you now conceit of the base love of this world of the love of Dogs and Birds raise a little your thoughts and look up at true love where it reignes in its full glory where it shewes it self in its Magnificence fly at it there fear not if you love it cannot escape you make but your approaches it will meet you 't is too ethereall for this cloudy region lift but your self above your body and of it self it will bend and stoop to your Arms. Soul What you have said cannot chuse but be a great comfort but I have a foolish scruple if you will give me leave to utter it yet I need not be so coy since you know enough by me this ' t is I have been taught that we should strive to love all men for Almighty Gods sake and so I suppose it passes in Heaven that all these great lovers which you have express'd to be there are of this Nature that they will love me because God Almighty commands it And this alas according to my low apprehension gives me but little satisfaction for this love and good will is not to me but to Almighty God whereas my perversenesse is such that I my self would be beloved and I mark in my self a great difference between when I give money to some little child I am pleas'd with when I bestow an Almes on a poore body that askes me for Gods sake in the one I find that affection I desire others should bear to me towards the Beggar I have no such inclination and the cause as I conceive is that one seems to deserve my love the other only to need it Now if you tell me that in Heaven they shall love me but I shall not deserve it I confesse as my affections now stand 't will be a great cooling to the esteem I desire to have of their love Light How truly spake he that said I know my self a Man that is a proud and yet a wretched thing Is it possible you cannot endure to be belov'd beyond your desert I fear you endure it often enough in this world but here self-conceit makes you easily think not only all love and esteem due to you which is offer'd but for the most part that too little is offer'd Yet I have observ'd sometimes it happens that we truly conceit another to shew more affection towards us then we have deserved though I never heard any offended at such excesse but rather highly pleas'd and engag'd to an endeavour of deserving it Neverthelesse I 'le strive to give you content even in this point Therefore tell me what you think of a person in whom reason governs in full measure so that not a thought passes but according to the pure direction of it do you believe in such a person any love can be unreasonable Soul No certainly so far is past doubt Light And if we love any thing more then it is amiable do you think that love is reasonable Soul I perceive whither you aime that since in Heaven all 's govern'd by reason none there can love otherwise then according to desert but withall I see there may be that desert in another and not in me as for example they shall love me because God who deserves to be obey'd commands them and if only thus I rest as unsatisfied as before Light Why do you conceive that God can command any unreasonable thing especially there where reason is in it's perfection for here I know not what the mixture of bodily qualities with reason may make it reasonable for God to command or if God would command others to love you beyond desert yet do you think that himself being the essence of reason and understanding can love you so or that any one by his command can love you more then himself does Soul This is right again Yet I see we love many things for the connexion they have with some other and not for themselves a Dog a Book a Glove from a beloved person is much made of not for it self but because the using it kindly is an expression or rather a practise of our love towards the person to whom it belongs So I imagine because I am a creature of Almighty God's making and have cost his only Son so dear a price those blessed spirits inflam'd with the love of God may also expresse an affection to me which you see is wholly by the desert of another not mine and however it may be infinitely more then I deserve yet is it not that which I express'd to be requisite to my content Light Your palate is very nice and delicate yet you shall be pleas'd What think you then where reason as I asked before is in full height can any thing there be
of bread without a thankfull lifting up to the Feeder let me not put on a ragg without bending my heart and tuning its strings to the love of him by whom I am rendered the But and Scope of the whole World's government What shall I say to Thee my heart-o'rewhelming Love when I consider how many millions are swallowed in eternall perdition whilest I am one of that small number Thou hast brought to the light and height of knowing Thee and finding the narrow path to salvation That Thou art not unjust I easily see for all is thine and in thy hand to give and dispose according to thy liberality to which he where Thou extendst it not can pretend no claim having more already to thank Thee for then he is able to esteem But why then didst Thou set set thine Eye upon me preferring this wretch before so many thousands Was I nobler or more excellent then they O no Angels and Hosts of heaven whose Being or Nature I am not able to apprehend lye chain'd in Sulphure and darknesse Was my Wit or Parts beyond others O no the Sages of India and the subtile Riddlers of the East were ignorant of thy Law and perisht in their Ignorance Was I mightier or richer then they O no the Conquerours of Kingdomes and the Gyants powerfull in warre were not chosen by Thee much lesse the Sons of Agar the Merchants that traverse the world to purchase treasure and heap up the wealth of Nations were called to thy light Let me sound as deep as I can nothing but thy self-Goodnesse Wisdome and Power without the least preceeding disposition in me can I find to be the source and spring of all this advantage O My Soul What dost expect if this be not enough to set thee on fire yet look but about thee and behold a farther endearment See thine own Countrey thy Neighbours Acquaintance thy Kindred and Friends how many maist thou observe in all degrees more worthy of acceptation then thou yet they neglected and Mercy indulged thee think but on those whose good nature and innocent life makes thy self many times compassionatly grieve at their unhappinesse and desiring to be the means of bringing them to that great good wherein thou art a sharer and reflect that former Ages and the vast spatiousnesse of the Earth afford many millions of such yet all permitted to undo themselves and run upon their everlasting ruine Consider this strange partiallity of mercy And yet thou canst doubt yet thou canst say Were I sure of Gods love But why did I ask whether I was better then others so deserving preferrence since I have or can have no good but from Thee Could I pre-ordain my self to be born of Christian and Catholick Parents who should take care to incorporate me into the Family of the Heirs of Blisse by the Sacraments instituted and afforded by Thee Might I be the cause why my Mother Nurses fed me as soon with wholesome Doctrine as with their Milk why they prepar'd Priests Masters to guide frame my tender Age was 't I that led me to a liking of the true Religion that only Path of Heaven or brought I my self to believe and hope in Thee to love Thee and those Rewards thou hast prepar'd for them that follow thee No no dear and dread Providence Thou art our Alpha and Omega If I do any Good Thou provid'st and fittest the means for it if I abstain from Evil Thou divert'st the Occasions Thou presentest awing Fears and shak'st perpetually the Bridle over my head that I may not be lawlesse and undisciplin'd If I consult of any acceptable work Thou preparest me Motives by Books by Teachers by Friends by Opportunities Thou directest my Thoughts and apprehensions ordering my Spirits in my Brain that what will be efficacious should occurre Thou enlightenest my Judgement to discern the consequence of Truths necessary to my Resolution Thou quellest my Appetite that it hinder not those Truths from setling in me If I resolve Thou so rangest all things that I chuse what is best not only for the present but what shall be so too in future occasions whereof I know nothing And as I am utterly ignorant of the things that are to fall out many moneths and years after which neverthelesse depend on this Resolution and in their season so take their force from it that they would certainly fail if it had not been made right no more or rather much lesse know I any thing or did I co-operate in the least to that long Chain of Causes which bred in me all those parts and little circumstances every one so necessary to this Resolution that if any had miss'd the Resolution had miscarried more or lesse not proving the same nor producing the same effects So that let me reflect on any action great or little long or short or however qualified I find that 't is I indeed do it but the force and vertue by consequence the honour and praise is thine I do it but as the Child to whom the Nurse gives Nuts or Beads and holding his hand throwes them into a hole whilst he alas thinks 't is he playes so well and pleases himself as with his own act not having the wit to consider 't is his Nurses aime Just so my God and my tender Sustainer just so dost thou with me whilst I often forget thee my weak brains reaching no farther then to see that I do the deed without being able through dulnesse or pride to passe my self and discern thee the only true cause and root of all my good But seeing my self consult resolve and do I often take this wretch for as primary as Thou for thy coefficient and helper not purely thine instrument and wholly depending on thee Which since I barely am and that vertuous action my chiefest good proceeds so entirely from Thee what is left for me but to love ever love and nothing else but love Thus far reach the Entry and Porch of Love's Palace Then we discover Its great Hall when we begin to contemplate the Essentiall Deity macerated and steep'd for our sakes in all the Miseries of Mankind That God of Gods lap'd up in a Virgin 's Wombe delivered naked into freezing winds and the smart stroaks of night-aire swath'd in bands and clouts hanging at a Maidens breasts short in Age weak in limbs and not forgetting to fulfill all infirmities of his Brethren Soon after led by his Mothers hand setling his tender steps feeding on the fruits of our earth following his Parents to Jerusalem lost and sought and not found with teares subject to his Mother and her Husband growing in Wisdome and Vertue as well as in Body After this working with his reputed Father and in no visible fashion differing from the life of his Parents till he was baptiz'd by Saint John his holy Precursor Then fasting forty dayes in the Wildernesse gathering Disciples instructing them working miracles before them living on the
He loves improves and raises every ones happinesse to a farre higher degree in that it makes all them love one another and publishes his particular Love of thee to be known and esteem'd by all the loves Nor is there the least subject of any Envy or Jealousie He can wait on All entertain All fill All content All blesse and beatifie All at once And now my glorious Lord having sifted and rack't my brains to find some exception against Thee some excuse to palliate my withholding the Duty I owe Thee some Cross-knot to dull the piercing of thy two-edg'd sword dividing my Soul and Spirit behold nothing imaginable but all sweetness all heat all light O then let me turn my course and joy at my missing desired misfortune Let me sit with the happy Spouse so pleas'd with every part of her Lover Let me delight my self to consider the Greatnesse of every Perfection in Thee and the Infinitenesse of All. Let me compare Thy Eternity to the weak imitation of humane Nobility and scorning This joy in the immense eminency of That Let the vast extent of thy Power in widenesse and profundity to all effects and to Huge ones make me laugh at the narrow-compass'd and beggarly ends which the ambitious Hearts of this world aim at O the poor Treasures that can be hoarded in caves in houses or towers what proportion do they bear to Thy wealth O the scant presence and jealous absence of Lovers in this world the outwardnesse of them and hearts to-be-guess'd-at what bitter-sweets must they of necessity cause Besides their shallow wits and short reaches in no other respect to be esteem'd but because we find no better their hungry benefits and pinching prodigalities proportion'd to their petty affections their by-ends and base aims in their most reall and truest professions their weak and impertinent passions their fond and changeable inclinations easily consum'd in a few triviall disgusts What miserable penurious blasts are these to blow the coals of Love And yet have these so long mov'd my Heart whilst it has lyen so heavy and restiff to lift it self up and follow thee O my onely Good henceforth for ever make me run like the blessed Magdalen without care or consideraton after the Odours of thy Perfumes Make it all my pleasure to sit hours and dayes and nights weighing every Excellency of thine and considering how good it is for all Creatures and particularly for me that Thou art so rich in glory so full of perfections but above all how thy adorable Attributes become Thy self how bright and beautifull they sit upon Thee Make me spend all my forces in blessing Thee that Thou art such in rejoycing at it in protesting that 't is all reason all fitnesse all justice it should be so that 't is the blisse of thy Creatures but yet a greater good and farre more excellent in it self Make me vapour away into Acts and Wills to have it so to render it such were it not so and in my power to procure it and that for what it is to me but much more for what it is to Thee But oh for that day when this knowledge of mine now childish darksome partiall and Enigmaticall shall be turn'd into manly noon-like full and clear Vision O how unmeasurably must my Love be there increas'd where the Object cannot fail to deserve infinitely more then I can employ yet shall I then employ infinitely more then I can now imagine and as the degrees of Love are multiplied the degrees of Joy must still grow higher and the more the Joy is so much more must the Love be redoubled thus raising still one the other to the very breaking in pieces the Adamantine sinews of my Soul whilest the Object ever stretches by its infinite perfection the bounds of a capacity ever yielding to embrace it O how shall I cling to and incorporate with him not for fear of losing but for eager desire of more enjoying O how shall I melt into esteemings and praisings and Love-breathing Dittyes how shall I inessence my self into that Fountain of Goodnesse Oh come oh come that happy day come even now I fear neither Hell nor Judgement for I know Thou canst bear no wrath against those that love Thee Come then come while these sweet sighs call on Thee wrest my soul from this loading this loathsome body skrew up even these very aspirations to such a pitch that they become the happy instrument to break my heart-strings those fetters and bonds of my imprison'd Soul which keep it from the sight of my so-beloved Spouse and Master and set me at liberty in the eternall freedome of thy Palace and everlasting glory of thy celestiall Presence Fiat Fiat BReath a while my Soul and recall a little thy Spirits This Stupendious Palace of Love still deserves a more curious search 't is not impertinent here to be humbly inquisitive Let 's see whether there be not yet some farther secret worthy our discovery And behold a Lock and little Door Oh 't is Loves Cabinet Certainly He there reserves some rare Jewel to enrich and adorn thee Knock call aloud and if he delay to open at least peep through the key-hole and see what 's within O Glory 't is the very Quintessence of Loves Object I see how because God is sole Eternall all things must be made by Him and since nothing can give but what it has nor make but what it is I see the whole frame of all that is or can be must be in Him with all their joynts and intriques wherewith they are intangled in their flowing from Him Whence I plainly discern that by knowing Him I shall know all things and all causes of all things O vast and spacious Wisdome O incredible content For since my Soul is nothing else but a Vessel and capacity of knowledge and This alone is the knowledge of all things by their proper Causes too and those resolv'd into theirs even to the very highest cause not ascending backward but beginning at the Spring-head and most knowing it and from it descending even to the lowest the most impartible grain of Sand or Dust what can my Soul wish more what can it imagine greater Yes my prospect opens it self farther and I see that since all created things are in themselves dispers'd and multiplied with infinite variety and sometimes incompossibility and contradiction but in God refin'd and resum'd into a most simple and indivisible Being they must infinitely be better in Him then in themselves He yet infinitely better then they For as four cannot be different from three but because it has somewhat that three has not so God must have something that is not in Creatures to be different from them and this being of a higher order and more eminent rank must of it self be better then all they put together and of a far nobler and richer glorious possession I see yet more that since God is cause of all other things out of