Sir Iohn Dolston lodg'd me and my guide Of all the Gentlemen in Englands bounds His house is neerest to the Scottish grounds And Fame proclaimes him farre and neere aloud He 's free from being couâ—tous or proud His sonne Sir George most affable and kinde His fathers image both in forme and minde On Saturday to Carlile both did ride Where by their loues and leaues I did abide Where of good entertainment I found store From one that was the Mayor the yeere before His name is Master Adam Robinson I the last English friendship with him won He grates * My thankes to Sir Iohn and Sir George Dalstone with Sir Henry Gurwin found a guide to bring me through From Carlile to the Citie Eudenborough This was a helpe that was a helpe alone Of all my helps inferiour vnto none Eight miles from Carlile runs a little Riuer Which Englands bounds from Scotlands grouÌ„ds doth seuer * Ouer Esk I waded Without Horse Bridge or Boate I o're did get On foot I went yet scarce my shooes did wet I being come to this long-look'd-for land Did marke remarke note renote viewd and scand And I saw nothing that could change my will But that I thought my selfe in England still The Kingdomes are so neerely ioyn'd and fixt There scarcely went a paire of Sheares betwixt There I saw skie aboue and earth below And as in England there the Sunne did show The hills with Sheepe repleate with corne the dale * The afore named Knights had giuen money to my Guid. ,62 which he lese some partat euery Ale house And many a cottage yeelded good Scott'sh Ale This County Annadale in former times Was the curst climate of rebellious crimes For Cumberland and it both Kingdomes borders Were euer ordred by their owne disorders Such sharking shifting cutting throats thiouing Each taking pleasure in th' others grieuing And many times he that had wealth to night Was by the morrow morning beggerd quite To many yeeres this pell-mell fury lasted That all these borders were quite ipoyl'd wasted Confusion huily-burly raign'd and rend'd The Churches with the lowly ground were leueld All memorable monuments defac'd All places of defence o'rethrewne and rac'd That who so then did in the borders dwell Liu'd little happier then those in hell But since the all-disposing God of heauen Hath these two Kingdomes to one Monarch giuen Blest peace and plenty on them both hath showr'd Exile and hanging hath the theeues deuowr'd That now each subiect may securely sleepe His Sheep Neate the black the white doth keepe For now those Crownes are both in one combinde Those former borders that each one confinde Appeares to me as I doe vnderstand To be almost the Center of the Land This was a blessed heauen expounded riddle To thrust great Kingdomes skirts into the middle Long may the instrumentall cause suruiue From him and his succession still deriue True heires vnto his vertues and his Throane That these two Kingdomes euer may be oneâ— This County of all Scotland is most poore By reason of the outrages before Yet mighty store of Corne I saw there growe And as good grasse as euer man did mowe And as that day I twenty miles did passe I saw eleuen hundred Neat at grasse By which may be coniectur'd at the least That there was sustenance for man and beast And in the Kingdome I haue truly scand There 's many worser parts are bettor mand For in the time that theeuing was in vre The Gentles fled to places more secure And left the poorer sorte t' abide the paine Whilest they could ne'r finde time to turne againe That Shire of Gentlemen is scarce and dainty Yet there 's reliefe in great aboundance plenty Twixt it and England little oddes I see They eate and liue and strong and able bee So much in Verse and now I le change my stile And seriously I 'le write in Prose a while To the purpose then my first nights lodging in Scotland was at a place called Mophot which they say is thirty miles from Carlile but I suppose them to be longer then forty of such miles as are betwixt London and Saint Albanes but indeed the Scots doe allow almost as large measure of their miles as they doe of their drinke for an English Gallon either of Ale or Wine is but their quart and one Scottish mile now and then may well stand for a mile and a halfe or two English but howsoeuer short or long I found that dayes iourney the weariest that euer I footed and at night being come to the Towne I found good ordinary Countrey entertainment my fare and my lodging was sweet and good and might haue serued a farre better man then my selfe although my selfe haue had many times better but this is to be noted that though it rained not all the day yet it was my fortune to be well wet twise for I waded ouer a great riuer called Eske in the morning somewhat more then foure miles distance from Culile in England and at night within two miles of my lodging I was faine to wade ouer the Riuer of Annan in Scotland from which Riuer the County of Annandale hath it's name And whilst I waded on foot my man was mounted on horse-backeâ— like the George without the Dragon But the next morning I arose and left Mophot behind me and that day I traueled twenty one miles to a sory Village called Blithe but I was blithe my selfe to come to any place of harbour or succour for since I was borne I neuer was so weary or so neere being dead with extreme trauell I was founderd and refounderd of all foure and for my better comfort I came so late that I must lodge without doores all night or else in a poore house where the good-wife lay in Child-bed her husband being from home her owne seruant mayde being her nurse A Creature naturally compacted and artificially adorned with an incomparable homelines but as things were I must either take or leaue and necessity made mee enter where we gat Egges and Ale by measure and by tale At last to bed I went my man lying on the floore by mee where in the night there were Pidgeons did very bountifully mute in his face the day being no sooner come and hauing but fifteene miles to Edenborough mounted vpon my ten toes and began first to hobble and after to amble and so being warme I fell to pace by degrees all the way passing thorow a fertill Countrey for Corne and Cattle and about two of the clocke in the afternoone that Wednesday being the thirteenth of August and the day of Clare the Virgin the signe being in Virgo the Moone foure dayes â—old the wind at West I came to take rest at the wished long expected ancient famous City of Edenborough which I entred like Pierce pennilesse altogether monyles but I thanke God not friendlesse for being there for the time of my stay I might borrow if any
â—â—â— charge of physicke or of being sicke Besides the word Hang is so much in vse That few or none will take 't as an abuse â—â—â— doth a great mans kindnesse much approue When he shall bid a man Behang'd in loue And with some men 't is common courtesie To say Farewell be hang'd that 's twice God bwy The pictures the dearest friends we haue Although their corps are rotten in the graue We hang them for a reuerend memory To vs and vnto our posterity â—â— hang their wiues in picture which haue cause To hang their persons wer 't not for the lawes â—â—â— hang their heires in pictures who would faine With their good fathers hang'd their lands to gaine â—â—â— oft haue seene good garments for mens wearing Haue very thrifily beene hang'd to ayring And I have seen those garments like good fellows Hang kindly with their master at the Gallowse â—â—â— then in to the Hangmans Wardrobe drop Haue beene againe hang'd in a Broakers shop Which after by a Cut purse bought might be And make another iourney to the Tree Twixt which and twixt the Broaker it might goe Or ride some twelue or thirteene times or moe Thus th'hangmans haruest and the Brokers grow They reape the crop which sin and shame doth sow There are rich Hangings made of Tapestrie Of Arras and of braue embrodery Those are for Princes and for men of worth T' adorne their roomes and set their greatnes forth But as dead bones in painted Tombes doe bide These b If all traitors hypocrites flatterers extortioners oppressours bribetakers cheaters panders bawds c. were hang'd vp in the woods on seuerall trees there is no Arras or Tapestry can grace and adorne a Princes Court as those Hangings could become a Common-wealth Hangings filthy rotten wals doe hide A Harts-horne to a post fast nailed on Serues well for men to hang their hats vpon But if they knew their heads would serue the turne They would not shift their hats from horne to horn Mens swords in Hangers Hang fast by their side Their Stirrops Hang when as they vse to ride Our Conies and our Deere are Hang'd in toiles Our meat hangs o'r the fire when as it boiles Our light Hangs in the Lanthorne all men fees Our fruit wee eat was hang'd vpon the trees Signes hang on posts shew whereas tradsmen dwels In steeples all men know are Hang'd the Bels The scales or ballance hangs where things are weigh'd Goods Hang'd in Craines that 's in or out conuei'd Yards failes sheets tacks lists caskets bolins braces Are fitly hang'd in their conuenient places The compasse that directs where windes doe blow Is Hang'd vpon the Needles point we know In stately buildings Timbet Lead and Stone Are Hang'd and hoist or Buildings would be none c Here is an army of Hangings Our Maps where in the world described be Are all Hang'd vp against the wals we see Our Cazements Hang as they doe ope and shut Our Curtaines Hang which bout our beds we put Our Hogs are Hang'd else Bacon we might looke Doores Hang on hinges or I am mistooke And many a trusty Padlocke Hangs no doubt To let in honest men and keepe knaues out Sea-Cabins Hang where poore men sleepe and rest Our Clokes Hang on our backs 't is manifest The Viall Citterne the Bandore and Lute Are cas'd or vncas'd all Hang'd vp and mute Our Linnen being wash'd must Hang to dry Or else Lice will Hang on and multiply Thus Hanging 's beneficiall to all States Whilst Gods dread curse Hangs o'r the reprobates And as for those that take my lines amis And will be pleas'd to be displeas'd with this For groats a piece nay lesse for three pence either I 'll giue them all leaue to be Hang'd together Since Hanging then is prou'd so naturall So beneficiall so generall So apt so necessary and so fit Our reason tels vs we should honour it It is a good mans life and 't is their death That rob and rifle men of goods and breath This kind of Hanging all offences ends From which God euer blesse me and my friends I from the Hangman this conclusion draw He is the fatall period of the Law If thieues or traytors into mischiefe runne If he haue done with them then they hane done 'T is often seene that many haplesse men Haue beene condemn'd and iudg'd reprieu'd agen And pardon'd haue committed new transgressions And in againe oft many a Size and Sessions When many warnings mend them not therefore The Hangman warnes them they offend no more Hee 's the Catastrophe and Epilogue Of many of the desperate Catalogue And he is one that cannot wanted be But still God keepe him farre enough from me THE DESCRIPTION OF TYBVRNE I Haue heard sundry men oft times dispute Of trees that in one yeere will twice beare fruit But if a man note Tyburne will appeare That that 's a tree that beares twelue times a yeere I muse it should so fruitfull be for why I vnderstand the root of it is dry It beares no leafe no blossome or no bud The raine that makes it fructifie is bloud I further note the fruit which it produces Doth seldome serue for profitable vses Except the skilfull Surgions industry Doe make Defection or Anatomy It blossomes buds and beares all three together And in one houre doth liue and die and wither Like Sodom Apples they are in conceit For touch'd they turne to dust and ashes streight Besides I find this tree hath neuer bin Like other fruit trees wall'd or hedged in But in the high-way standing many a yeere It neuer yet was rob'd as I could heart The reason is apparent to our eyes That what it beares are dead commodities And yet sometimes such grace to it is giuen The dying fruit is well prepar'd for heauen And many times a man may gather thence Remorse deuotion and true penitence And from that tree I thinke more soules ascend To that Coelestiall ioy which ne'r shall end I say more soules from thence to heau'n doe come Than from all * Except Pauls Churchyard and Saint Gregories where â—â—ny inhabitants are dwelling as Drapers Stationers â—â—â— Trunk and â—ragic all blacke Bottle-makers who now and thâ—â— doe dye there whom I doe verily beleeue haue soules â—â—â— except the Close at Salisbury with all Cathedrall Churchyards and others where any body dwels if it be but a Summer â—â—â— Sexton Church-yards throughout Christendome The reason is the bodies all are dead And all the soules to ioy or woe are fled Perhaps a weeke a day or two or three Before they in the Church-yards buried bee But at this Tree in twinkling of an eye The soule and body part immediatly There death the fatall parting blow doth strike And in Church-yards is seldome seene the like Besides they are assisted with the almes Of peoples charitable prayers and Psalmes Which are the wings that lift the hou'ring spirit By faith through grace true glory to inherit Concerning this
of mine at Oxford rosted an old shoulder of a Ram which in the eaâ—ing was as tough as a Buffe Ierkin I did aske â—â—â— what the reason was that the mutton was â—â—â— tough She said she knew not except the â—â—cher deceiued her in the age of it and she would tell him on both sides of his eates like a â—eane as he was Nay quoth I I thinke there is another fault in it which will excuse the â—cher for perhaps you roasted it with old â—â—â— in troth quoth the hostesse it is like â—â—gh and my husband neuer doth otherâ—â—â— but buy old stumps and knots which â—â—â— all the meate we either roast or boyle â—â—â— exceeding tough that no body can eat it 85 ONe hearing a clocke strike three when he thought it was not two said this Clocke is like an hypocritical Puritane for though he will not sweare yet hee will lye abhominably 86 DIcks Tarleton said that hee could compare Queene Elizabeth to nothing more fitly then to a Sculler for said he Neither the Queene nor the Sculler hath a fellow 87 TWo obstinate rich fellowes in Law that had each of them more money then wit by chance one of them comming out of Westminster Hall met with his aduersarid wite to whom he said in troth good woman I doe much pitty your case in that it is your hard fortune that such a foole as your husband should haue so discreet and modest wife The woman replide In truth Sir I doe grieue more that so honest a wife as you haue should haue such a wrangling knaue to her husband 88 A Poore labouring man was married and matched to a creature that so much vsed to scold waking that she had much adoe to refraine it sleeping so that the poore man was so batterfang'd and belabour'd with tongue mettle that he was weary of his life at last foure or fiue women that were his neighbours pittying his case came in his absence to his house to admonish and counsell his wife to a quiet behauiour towards her husband telling her that she was a shame to all good women in her bad vsage of so honest a painefull man the woman replyed to her neighbours that shee thought her husband did not loue her which was partly the cause that she was so froward towards him why said an old woman I will shew thee how thou shalt proue that he loues thee dearely doe thou counterfeit thy selfe dead and lye vnder the table and one of vs will fetch thy husband and he shall finde vs heauy and grieuing for thee by which meanâ— thou shalt perceiue by his lamentation for thee how much he loues thee this counsell was allowed and effected when the poore man came home he hearing the matter being much opprest with griefe ranne vnder the table bemoning the happy losle of his most kind vexation and making as though hee would kisse her with a most louing embraâ—â—â— to make all sure he brake her necke The neighbours pittying the mans extreame passion in compassion told him that his wife was not dead and that all this was done but to make tryall of his loue towards her whereupon they called her by her name bidding her to rise and that shee had fooled it enough with her husband but for all their calling shee lay still which made one of the women to shake and iogge her at which the woman cried alas she is dead indeed why this it is quoth her husband to dissemble and counterfet with God and the world 90 A Planter of a Colledge in Oxford possessing some crums of Logicke and chippings of Sophistry making distribution of bread at the Schollers table one of the Schollers complained vnto him that the bread were dough baked Why quoth hee so it should bee what else is the definition of bread but dough baked 91 A Miserable fellow in the country did once a yeere vse to inuite his neighbours to dinner and as they were one time sate hee bade them welcome saying that there was a surloyne of beefe that the Oxe it came from cost 20. pound and that there was a Capon that he paid 3. shillings 6. pence for in the market at which a country yeoman sitting against the Capon fell to and cut off a legge of it the rest of the guests being not yet past their roast beefe to whom the man of the house said My friend I pray thee eate some of this same surloyne Oh sir God forbid quoth the fellow I am but a poore man an oxe of 20. pound price is too deare meat a Capon of halfe a crowne will serue my turne well enough I thanke you 92 A Rich man told his nephew that hee had read a booke called Lucius Apulcius of the golden asse and that he found there how Apulcius after he had beene an asse many yeeres by eating of Roses he did recouer his manly shape againe and was no more an asse the young man replied to his vnckle Sir if I were worthy to aduise you I would giue you counsell to eate a falled of Roses once a weeke your selfe 93 A Fellow hauing beene married but fiuâ—â—â— weekes perceiued his wife to be great with childe wherefore she desired him to buy â—â—â— cradle shortly after he went to a Faire and bought ten cradles and being demanded why he bought so many he answered that his wife would haue vse for them all in one yeere 94 A Gentleman vntrust and vnbuttoned in â—â—â— cold winter morning a friend of his told him that it was not for his health to goe fooâ—â— pen in the raw weather and that he mused it did not kill him to goe so oft vntrust to whom the other replyed Sir you are of the mind of my Silkeman Mercer or Taylor for they finde fault as you doe because I goe so much on trust but it is a fault I haue naturally from my parents and kindred and my creditors tell me that I doe imitate my betters 95 A Iustice of the Peace committed a fellow to prison and commanded him away three or foure times but stil the fellow intreated him Sirrah said the Iustice must I bid you bee gone so many times and will you not goe The fellow answered Sir if your worship had bidden mee to dinner or supper I should in my poore manners not to haue taken your offer vnder two or three biddings therefore I pray you blame me not if I looke for foure biddings to prison 96 A Great man kept a miserable house so that his seruants did alwaies rise from the table with empty panches though cleane licked platters truely said one of his men I thinke my Lord will worke miracles shortly for though he practise not to raise the dead or dispossesse the diuell yet he goes about to feed his great family with nothing 97 ONe said that Bias the Philosopher was the first Bowler and that euer since the most part of Bowles doe in memory of their originall weare his badge of remembrance and very dutifully
of my Tearedrown'd eies Sad Partners of my hearts Calamities Tempestuous sighs like winds in prison pent Which wanting vent my grieued soule hath rent Deepe wounding grones companions of vnrest Throngs from the bottome of my care-craz'd brest You three continuall fellowes of my mones My brinish teares sad sighs and pondrous grones â—â— doe intreate you neuer to depart But be the true assistants of my heart In this great at sorrow that my trembling Quill Describes which doth our LaÌ„d with moarning fill Ah Death I could nought thy hunger satisfie But thou must glut thy selfe with Maiesty Could nothing thy insatiate thirst restraine But Royall blood of our Dread Soueraigne In this thy spight exceeds beyond all bounds And at one blow 3. kingdomes fildst with wounds When thou that fatall deadly stroake did'st strike Thaâ— Death thou playd'st the tyrant Catholike Our griefes are Vniuersall sall and the Summe Cast vp the blow doth wound all Christendome But wherefore Death doe I on thee exclaime Thou cam'st in the Eternall Kings great name For as no mortall pow'r can thee preuent So thou doest neuer come but thou art sent And now thou cam'st vpon vnwelcome wings To our best King from the blest King of Kings To summon him to change his earthly throne For an Immortall and a Heanenly one When men vnthankfull for a good receiu'd â—Tiâ— least that of that good they be bereau'd His gouernement both God and men did please Except such spirits as might complaine of Ease Repining Passions wearied with much Rest The want to be molesled might molest Such men thinke peace a torment and no trouble â—â— worse then trouble though it should come double â—â—â— speake of such as with our peace were cloyd Though wâ—â— I think might well haue bin imploy'd True Britaines wish iust warres to entertaine I meane no aide for Spinola or Spaine But time and troubles would not suffer it Nor Gods appointment would the same permit He is inserutable in all his waies And at his pleasure humbleth and will raise For patience is a vertue he regardeth And in the end with victory rewardeth â—â—t whither hath my mournefull Muse digrest From my beloued Soueraigne Lord decast Who was to vs and we to him eu'n thus Too bad for him and hee too good tor vs. For good men in their deaths 't is vnderstood They leaue the bad and goe vnto the good This was the cause why God did take from hence This most Religious Learned Gracious Prince This Paragon of Kings this matchlesse Mirror This Faith 's desending Antichristian terror This Royall all-beloued King of Hearts This Patterne and this Patron of good Arts This cabinet of mercy Temperance Prudence and Iustice that doth man aduance This Magazine of Pious Clemency This fountaine of true Liberaâ—tâ— This minde where vertue daily did increase This Peacefull Seruant to theâ— odo Peace This second great Apollo from whoâ—e Raies Poore Poetry did winne Immortall Baâ—es From whence the sacred Sâ—â—â— Trebâ— Trine Had life and motion Influence diuine These vertues did adorne his Diaâ—â—m And God in taking him hath taken them Of all which Blessings we must needs confesse We are depriu'd for our vnworthinesse A good man 's neuer mist till he be gone And then most vaine and fruitlesse is our mone But as Heau'ns fauours downe to vs descended So if our thankefulnesse had but ascended Had we made Conscience of our waies to sinne So soone of him we not depriu'd had bin Then let vs not lament his losse so much But for our owne vnworthinesse was such So from th'vnthankefull Iewes God in his wrath Tookâ— good Iosias by vnlook'd for death And for our sinnes our ignorance must know We haue procur'd and felt this curelesse blow And Christendome I feare in losing him Is much dismembred and hath lost â— limme As by the fruit the tree may be exprest His workes declar'd his learning manifest Whereby his wisdome wan this great renowne That second Salomon wore Britaines crowne His pen restrain'd the strong relieu'd the weake And graciously he could write doe and speake He had more force and vigor in his words TheÌ„ neigh'â—ring Princes could haue in their swords France Denmarke Poland Sweden Germany Spaine Saâ—oy Italy and Muscoâ—â—â— Bohemia and the fruitfull Palatine The Swisses Grisons and the â—eltoline As farre as euer Sol or Luna shin'd Beyond the Westerns or the Easterne Inde His counsell and his fauours were requir'd Approu'd belou'd applauded and admir'd When round about the Nations farre and neere With cruell bloody warres infested were When Mars with sword and fire in furious rage Spoyl'd consum'd not sparing lex or age Whilst mothers with great griese were childlesse made And Sonne 'gainst Sire oppos'd with trenchant blade When brother against brother kinne ' gainst kinne Through death and danger did destruction winne When murthers mercilesse and beastly Rapes These famine miseries in sundry Shapes While mischiefs thus great kingdomes ouerwhelm Our prudent Steeresman held great Britaines helme Conducting so this mighty Ship of state That Strangers enui'd and admir'd thereat When blessed Peace with terrour and affright Was in a mazed and distracted flight By bloody Warre and in continuall Chase Cours'd like a fearefull Hare from place to place Not daring any where to shew her head She happily into this kingdome fled Whom Royall Iames did freely entertaine And graciously did keepe her all his reigne Whilst other Lands that for her absence mourne With sighs and teares doe with her backe returne They finde in losing Her they lost a blesse A hundred Townes in France can witnesse this Where Warres compulsion or else composition Did force Obedience Bondage or Submission Fields lay vntild and fruitfull Land lay waste And this was scarcely yet full three yeeres past Where these vnciuill ciuill warres destroy'd Princes Lords Captaines men of Note imploy'd One hundred sixty seuen in number all And Common people did past number fall These wretches wearied with these home-bred Iars Loue Peace forbeing beaten sore with wars Nor doe I heere inueigh against just Armes But ' gainst vniust vunaturall Alarmes Iust warres are made to make vniust warres cease And in this sort warres are the meanes of Peace In all which turmoyles Britaine was at rest No thundring Cannons did our Peace molest No churlish Drum no Rapes no flattring wounds No Trumpets clangor to the Battell sounds But euery Subiect here enioy'd his owne And did securely reape what they had sowne Each man beneath his Fig-tree and his Vine In Peace with plenty did both suppe and dine O God how much thy goodnesse doth o'rflow Thou hast not dealt with other Nations so And all these blessings which from heauen did Spring Were by our Soueraignes wisdomes managing Gods Steward both in Office and in name And his account was euermore his aime The thought from out his minde did seldome slip That once he must giue vp his Steward-ship His anger written on weake water was His Patience and his Loue
VRANIA sits at Helme and Pilot is For Thames thou hast the lactea via found Be thou with baies as that with stars is crownd THOMAS DEKKAR A Catalogue of all the seuerall Bookes contained in this VOLVME TAylors Vrania The first part of the troubles and destructions of Ierusalem The second part and finall destruction of Ierusalem by Titus and Vespasian The life and death of the most blessed amongst women The Virgin Mary the mother of our Lord Iesus Christ. Superbiae flagellum or the Whip of Pride Against cursing and swearing The fearefull Summer The Trauels of tweluepence The Armado or Nauy of Ships that saile as well by land as by sea The Begger or the praise of beggers beggery and begging Taylors Goose. Iacke a Lent Taylors pennilesse Pilgrimage or Iourney without money from London to Edenborough in Scotland and backe to London The Acts and exployts of Wood the great Eater in Kent Sir Gregory Nonsence A very merry Wherry voyage from London to Yorke with a paire of Oares A new Discouery by sea with a wherry from London to Salisbury A Kicksie winsie or a Lerry cum Twang Taylors Motto An Epicedium or mournfull death-song for Coriats supposed drowning The eight Wonder of the world or Coriats reuiuing Laugh and be fat Coriats Newes and letter with the Authours paraphrasing verses A Bawd very modest A Whore very honest A Thiefe very â—â—ue A Hangman very necessary The vnnaturall Father Taylors Reuenge against Fenner Fenners Defence A Cast ouer the water to Fenner The Water-mans suite concerning plâ—â—ers Wit and mirth A Dogge of Warre The World runs on wheeles The Nipping or snipping of abuses A briefe of the Chronicle from Brute to this present in Verse A Briefe of the Chronicle from the Norman Conquest to this present A Farewell to the Towre bottles The Marriage of the Princesse Elizabeth A funerall Elegie for King Iames. A funerall Elegy for the Earle of Nottingham A funerall Elegy for the Earle of Holdernesse A funerall Elegy for the Bishop of Winchester A funerall Elegy for the Duke of Richmond and Linox A funerall Elegy for Iohn Moray Esquire The Summe of the Bible in verse The Summe of the Booke of Martyrs in verse Archie his making peace with France The Praise of Hempseed Taylors Pastorall Three weekes and three dayes trauells from London into Germany Taylors Trauell to Bohemia An English mans loue to Bohemia The Dolphins danger and deliuerance The Cormorant Abraue Sea-fight by Captaine Iohn Weddell in the gulfe of Persia. The Sculler Christian admonitions The great O Toole The Churches deliuerances Prince Gâ—ales his welcome from Spaine The praise of cleane linnin These Bookes in number sixty three are heere Bound in one Volume scattred here and there They stand not thus in order in the booke But any man may finde them that will looke TO THE MOST HIGH MOST MIGHTY AND MOST ANCIENT PRODVCER SEDVCER AND ABVSER OF MANKIND THE WORLD MOst Potent and Powerfull Imposture take it not amisse that I a poore worme of your own breeding doe in waie of retribution giue you here the encrease of my Tallent which I haue beene almost 60 yeeres a gathering It was told me that when I first came to visit you that I cri'd and Waw'ld and that when I leaue you I shall sigh and grone and euer since I knew you I haue loued you so well for the good parts I haue seen in you that I could verie willingly be glad to change you for a better I know not what Title to put vpon you you haue as many stiles alreadie as the great Turke with the soldier you are a hard World with the Diuine you are a wicked world with the Lawyer you are a contentious world with the Courtier you are a slipperie world with most men a mad world and with all men a bad world The Diuell your brother and your sister the Flesh hath quite spoiled you of all your good qualities and conditions and worse then that they haue made you blinde that you cannot or will not see your owne faults and you haue blinded all your inhabitants that they can neither feele or perceiue their miseries for which cause I haue made bold to dedicate this Volume to your greatnesse wherein as in a glasse you may view your imperfections Here shall you see all your foure ages now combind in one first This is the Golden age for Gold can doe any thing it can both cleare and bleare the eies of Iustice it can turne Religion into Policie Pietie into periurie and what not Siluer indeed lookes white and white is the colour of Age Ergo the Siluer age which though it run in an inferiour straine to Gold yet it works wonders and without it there is no market kept in Church or Commonwealth for whosoeuer is King Pecunia is Queene The Brazen age is apparant in euerie mans impudencie most men and womens foreheads or our-sides which are their actions doe manifest that they liue in an age of Brasse Lastly the Iron age is palpably present for many soldiers who mainetaine their liues with daily seeking their deaths haue stomacks like Estriches and through want of meanes they eat vp their swords and pistols Amongst all these I haue long time noted your great bountie you haue beene so fauorable to giue some men as much ambition as serued them iustly for the breaking of their necks To some you haue giuen Abundance and you haue made that Abundance beget Auarice and that Auarice to beget destruction some you haue furnished with beautie and that beautie hath confounded chastitie on some you haue suddenly thrown honors and promotions and those you haue loaden with enuie slander continuall perplexities In a word your gifts are so mischieuously mixed as wit with beggerie follie with wealth and the like that I protest I am wearie of you which makes me thus bold to tell you of your iadish tricks You neuer fauored me and therefore I haue no reason to flatter you nor will I flatter you or any man that shall or will doe me fauour I neuer will make my tong like a plaisterers Trowell to dawbe and smooth ouer the vices or villanies of any with Sicophantizing Parasiticall flatterie World all that I craue of thee liuing is a graue when I am dead and although I flatter thee not yet I loue thee not nor haue I any reason for it for to mee thy fawnings haue been frownings thy beneuolence maleuolence the courtesies cares and crosses and thy riches innumerable restlesle perturbations besides when our blessed Sauior was vpon the earth thy estate was so vile and damnable that though he praied for his tormentors and crucifiers yet he onely excluded the World by name out of his praier saying I pray not for the world and can there be any hopes that thou art any better now then thou wert then nay it is to be doubted that thou art rather worse So that if any man will say that he hath occasion to
their Immortall Maker and Redeemer without any feeling or touch of conscience insomuch that they would be ashamed to vse their enemies or their vassals or slaue in such contemptible manner as they doe their God and Sauiour and they would be highly offended to haue halfe the like abuse offered to themselues and which is more they would and should be all hangd or worse if they spake but one quarter of such treason against their naturall King as they doe against the Immortall King of Kings A Seruant is the better to be beloued or hated for so much as in respect the Master whom he serueth bee good or bad and can any villaines deserue more to bee hated abhorred and spewed out of the company of Christians then common swearers the Deuils best seruants who are the Archtraitonrs against the Maiesty of Heauen who like the foole doe say in their heart that there is no God and so doe hold the third Commandement to bee a fable where God forbids swearing saying That hee will not hold him guiltlesse that taketh his name in vaine Oh what a miserable case shall those wretched soules be in who at the dreadfull Barre of Gods Iudgement shall be by the Lord condemned and iudged guilty of swearing forswearing blasphemy and taking of the name of the Lord in vaine Suppose a man were tranailing alone vpon some Plaine Heath or Desart where many crosse wayes lead towards diuers places and hee being a stranger and amazed goes on not knowing whether he goe right or wrong at last by chance hee espieth a man and asketh him it hee be in the way to such a place or no The party answers him that hee is quite out of his way a mile or halfe a mile more or lesse but faith he I will shew you how you may with lesse trauaile come into your way againe then hee directeth him to take his course crosse to such a Tree or House or Gate or other marke and so consequently sheweth him the easiest meanes to find his way againe for which courresie what thanke the I rauailer will giue him and say that if euer it lyeth in his power that he will require his kindnes in a larger measure On the contrary let a man heare a wretch curse blaspheme and sweare and say to him My friend you are quite out of the way to Heauen and if you doe hold that course you will neuer come thither for you are now going downe hill the high broad way to the Deuill If a man should tell a prophane swearer this all the thankes hee should haue would be contempt derision scorne and hard words or perhaps a right roaring Rascall would be so liberall as to sweare ten or twelue oathes more and bestow a knocke or a stab vpon him that mildely reproued him If the penalty of twelue pence for euery oath had bene duely payd as the Statute hath in that case prouided I doe verily beleeue that all the coyned money in England would haue beene forfeited that way for little children that can scarce goe or speake plaine can make a shift to sweare lispingly Meate drinke cloathing or any neceflaries that we vse or any bargaine buying or selling doe very seldome passe betwixt party and party without oathes swearing and oftentimes falsly so that commonly it is no match except the name of God be abused in it At Dice Cards Bowles or at any other game or recreation it is lamentable to heare how vngodly villaines will outdare the Deuils in Hell in abusing he glorious Name of God And I verily thinke that Venison is too oftentimes more vnseasonably seasond with oathes in the taking then it is with cornes of Pepper salt in the baking so that if the Law were executed which St. Leuis King of France made that euery Swearer Blasphemer should haue their tongues cut out I am doubtfull that more then three quarters of the people in Christendome would be tonguelesse for in these dayes men are seldome wearied with swearing as I haue read of an Italian that at his game was tyred in that kind who commanded his man to helpe him to sweare till he himselfe had gathered his breath againe And it is to be feared that there are some who doe make a liuing or trade of swearing as a fellow being asked once of what occupaâ—ion he was made answer that he was a vitnesse which was one that for hire would sweare in any mans cause be it right or wrong The veriest villaine that euer abused the name of God may learne from a Dog to be a better Christian for if he doe take a Whelpe bring him vp giuing him but meate fit for a Dog he may see how the Curre will attend him follow him watch his house and to the best of his ability guard and defend his Masters person from wrong or violence and at no time he will euer forsake him although he might haue a farre better Master But if at any time hee should wax stubborne and fly in his Masters face otherwise bite him then surely such a Master would either hang such a Dog or knocke out his braines Thus as Salomon bids the sluggard goe to the Pismire to learne labour and disigence so I counsaile the blasphemous Swearer to make his Dog his patterne for his better behauiour for much worse then the worst of Dogs is he that knowes God to be his Maker Redeemer preseruer conseruer and keeper and yet for all this a contrary to his knowledge against his conscience will audaciously impiously and ingratefully reuile raile blaspheme the glorious name of this his most bountifull and mercifull God Hee that reuiles or scandals his Soueraigne Prince is rightly accounted worthy to dye the death of a Traitor and whosoeuer doe abuse slander or impeach the reputation of Iudges Rulers and Magistrates there is a Pillory a whipping with sometimes losse of eares and goods for an exemplary punishment Theeues are hangd for stealing and incontinent persons are sometimes punished for adultry and fornication but swearing and abusing the name of God is esteemed lesse then a veniall sinne being by regardlesse conniuence rather approued then reproued and as it were by intolerable toleration defended rather then punished All which the Lord did in his foreknowledge knowe namely that men should be remisse and negligent in the punishing of all those that bee dishonourers of his Name and therefore hee tooke the cause iudgement and punishment into his owne hands with this irreuocable sentence that he will not hold him guiltlesse that taketh his name in vaine so that the Swearer Blasphemer may see that although through Greatnesse of Riches Office Fauour or Flattery men doe passe ouer this great offence slightly yet God doth most assuredly promise and pay them their hire in this world Ecclesiasticus 23. For though thou thinkest God heares thee not but is as deafe aâ—â—â—â— said Baal was yet thou shalt one day kâ—â—â—â—â— that he that made the eye
them with his eye Ah wofull London I thy griefe bewayle And if my sighes and prayers may but preuaile â—â—mbly beg of God that hee 'le be pleas'd â—â— Iesus Christ his wrath may be appear'd With-holding his dread Iudgements from aboue And once more graspe thee in his armes of loue In mcrcy all our wickednes remit â—â—r who can giue thee thankes within the piâ— Strange was the change in lesse then 3-months space â—ioy in woe in grace and in disgrace â—healthfull Aprill a diseased Iune â—nd dangerous Iuly brings all out of tune â—hat City whose rare obiects pleas'd the eyes With much content and more varieties â—â—â— that was late delightfulâ— to the eares With melody Harmonious like the Spheares She that had all things that might please the scent And all she felt did giue her touch content Her Cinque Port scences richly fed and cloyd With blessins bountifull which she enioy'd Now 3-monthes change hath fill'd it full of feare As if no Solace euer had beene there What doe the Eyes see there but grieued sights Of sicke oppressed and distressed wights Houses shut vp some dying and some dead Some all amazed flying and some fled Streets thinly man d with wretches euery day Which haue no power to flee or meanes to stay In some whole streete perhaps a Shop or twayne Stands open for small takings and lesse gaine And euery closed window dore and stall Makes each day seeme a solemnt Festiuall Dead Coâ—â—es carried and recarried still Whilst â—â—ty Corpâ—es scarce one graue doth fill With LORD HAVE MERCIE VPON VS on the dore Which though the words be good doth grieue men sore And o're the doore-posts fix'd a crosse â—â—ed Betol-â—ning that there Death some blood hath shed Some with Gods markes or Tâ—kens doe espte These Marks or Takens shew them they must die Some with their Carbuncles and sores new burst Are fed with hope they haue escap'd the worst Thus passeth all the weeke till Thuedayes Bill Shewâ—vs what thousands death that weeke did kil That fatal Rel doth like a razor cut The dead tl â—â—uing in a maze doth put And he that hath a Christian heart I know Is grieud and wounded with the deadly blow These are the obieâ—s of the Eye now heare And marke the mournefull musicke of the Eare There doe the brazen Iron tongu'd loud bells Deaths clamorous musicke ring continuall knells Some losty in their notes some sadly towling Whilst fatali dogs made a most dismall how ling a Thus it was in Iune Iuly August and September Some frantickâ— raâ—ing some with anguish crying Some singing praying groaning and some dying The healthfull grieuing and the sickly groaning All in mournefull diapâ—ten mâ—aning Here Parents for their Childrens loâ—â—e lament There Childrens griefe for Parents life that 's spent Husbands deplore their louing Wines decease Wines for their Husbands weepe remedilesse The Brother for his Brother friend for friend Doe each for other mutuall sorrowes spend Here Sister mournes for Sister Kin for Kin As one grife ends another doth begin There one lies languishing with slender fare Small comfort lesse attendance and least care With none but Death and he to tugge together Vntill his corps and soule part each from either In one house one or two or three doth fall And in another Death playes sweepe-stake all Thus vniuersall sorrowfull complaining Is all the musicke now in London raigning Thus is her comfort sad Calamitie And all her Melodie is Maladie These are the obiects of the eyes and eares Most wofull sights and sounds of griefes and feares The curious rast that while me did delight With cost and care to please the Appetite What she was went to hate she doth adore And what 's high priz'd she held despis'd before The drugs the drenches and vntoothsome drinks Feare giues a sweetnes to all seuerall stinks And for supposed Anudotes each Palate Of most contagious weedes will make a Sallate And any of the simplest Mountebankes May cheat them as they will of Coine thankes With scraped pouder of a shooing-home Which they 'le beleeue is of an Vmcorne Angelicacs distastfull roote is gnaw'd And hearbe of Grace most Ruefully is chaw'd Garlick offendeth neither tast nor smell Feare and opinon makes it rellish well Whilst Beazer stone and mighty Mitbridate To all degrees are great in estimate And Triacles power is wonderously exprest And Dragon Water in most high request These 'gainst the Plague are good preseruatiue But the best cordiall is t' amend our liues Sinne 's the maine cause and we must first begin To cease our griefes by ceasing of our sinne I doe beleeue that God hath giuen in store Good medcines to cure or case each fore But first remoue the cause of the disease And then no doubt but the effect will cease Our sinn's the Cause remoue our sinnes from hence And God will soone remoue the Pestileace Then euery medicine to our consolation Shall haue his power his force his operation And till that time experiments are not But Paper walls against a Cannon shot On many a post I see Quacke-sainers Bills Like Fencers Challenges to shew their skills As if they were such Masters of defente That they date combat with the Pestilence Meete with the plague in any deadly fray And bragge to beare the victory away But if then patients pariently beleeue them They 'le cure them without faile of what they giue them What though ten thousands by their dreÌ„ches perish They made them parposely themselues to cherish Their Art is a meere Artlesse kind of lying To picke their liuing out of others dying This sharpe inucctiue no way seemes to touch The learn'd Physician whom I honour much The Paracelsians and the Galennists The Philosophicall graue Herbahsts These I admire and reuerence for in those God doth dame Natures secrets fast inclose Which they distribute as occasion serue Health to reserue and health decai'd conserue 'T is 'gainst such Rat-catchers I bend my pen Which doe mechanically murther men Whose promises of cure like lying knaues Doth begger men or send them to their graues a Feeling Now London for the sence of feeling next Thou in thy feeling chiefely art perplext Thy heart feeles sorrow and thy body anguish Thou in thy feeling feel'st thy force to languish Thou feelst much woe and much calamity And many millions feele thy misery Thou feel st the fearefull Plague the Flix and Feur Which many a soule doth from the body suter And I beteech God for our Sauiours merit To let thee feele the Comfort of his Spirit Last for the solace of the b Smeling smell or â—â—â—â— Some in contagious roomes are closely penâ— Whereas corrupted Aire they take and giue Till time ends or lends liberty to liue One with a piece of tasseld well tarr'd Rope Doth with that nose-gay keepe himselfe in hope Another deth a wispe of worme-wood pull And with great Iudgement crams his nostrils full A third takes off his socks from 's sweating
alone to driue sheepe before they haue them or to Trundle cheeses downe a hill So saluting you with more prespect then the Mayor of Loo did the Queenes Ape I take leaue to leaue you and rest yours to bid you welcome if you came within a mile of my house to stay all night Yours Rolihaytons To Nobody VPon a Christmas Euen somewhat nigh Easter anon after Whitsuntide walking in a Coach from London to Lambeth by water I ouertooke a Man that met me in the morning before Sun set the wind being in Capricorne the Signe Southwest with silence I demanded many questions of him and he with much pensiuenesse did answer me merrily to the full with such ample and empty replications that both our vnderstaÌ„dings being equally satisfied we contentiously agreed to finish and prosecute the narratio of the Vnknowne Knight Sir Gregory Nonsence so sitting downe vpon our shoulders resting vneasily on a banke of Sicamors vnder a tree of Odoriferous and contagious Camomile after three sighs smilingly vttered in the Hebrew Character two grones from the Chaldean Dialact fiue sobs from the Arabian Sinquapace sixe dum ps from the Germane Idiome nine Moods of Melancholly from the Italian tongue with one hub hub from the Hibernian outcry And last he laughed in the Cambrian tongue began to declare in the Vtopian speech what I haue here with most diligent negligence Translated into the English Language in which if the Printer hath placed any line letter or sillable whereby this large volume may be made guilty to be vnderstood by any man I would haue the Reader not to impute the fault to the Author for it was farre from his purpose to write to any purpose so ending at the beginning I say as it is ap plawsefully written and commended to posterity in the Midsummer nights dreame If we offend it is with our good will we came with no intent but to offend and shew our simple skill Rolihayton The names of such Authors Alphabetically recited as are simply mentioned in this Worke. AMadis de Gaul Archy Arms. Beuis of Hampton Boe to a Goose. Charing Crosse. Coakley Dunsmore Cow Dauy Wager Euanwich Muffe Friâ—r and the boy Fubs his Trauels Garagonâ—ua Gammon of West phallia Grigs Granam Hundred merry tales Huon of Burdeux Iacke Drum Knight of the Sunne Knaue of Diamonds Lanum Long Meg. Mad Mawlin No body O toole Proofes of OOOO Quinborough Oysters Ready money Shooters Hill Singer Sir Thomas Persons Tarleton Tom Derry Tom Thumbe Vnguentum Album Will Summers Wit whither wilt thou Woodcocke of our side Xampelloes Quiblines Yard of Ale Zany on tumbling SIR GREGORY NONSENCE HIS NEWES FROM NO PLACE IT was in Iune the eight and thirtieth day That I imbarked was on highgate Hill After discourteous friendly taking leaue Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn The Wind did ebbe the tide flou'd North Southeast We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida And after 13. dayes and 17. nights With certaine Hiroglyphiâ—ke houres to boot We with tempestuous calmes and friendly stormes â—plit our maine top-mast close below the keele â—ut I with a dull quicke congruity â—ook 19. ounces of the Westerne winde And with the pith of the pole Artichocke Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond There in a Fort of melting Adamant Arm'd in a Crimson Robe as blacke as Iet I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred â—ead Cerberus to the Prononticke Sea Then cutting further through the marble Maine â—â—ongst flying Buls and 4. leg'd Turkicocks A dâ—mbe faire spoken welfac'd aged youth Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides With tonguelesse silence thus began his speech â—â—ustrious flap-iacke to thy hungry doome Low is the ground I eleuate my cause As I vpon a Gnat was riding late In quest to parley with the Pleiades I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close â—n a greene Arbour made of yellow starch Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales A Banquet was semed in of Lampraieâ— bones Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time When Demogorgon saild to Islington Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico â—T ' informe great Prester Iohn and the Mogull What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate The Mogull all inraged with these newes Sent a blacke snaile post to Tartaria To tell the Irishmen in Saxony The dismal downefall of old Charing Crosse. With that nine butter Firkins in a flame Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause Guessing by the Sinderesis of Wapping Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous For though an Andiron and a paire of Tongs May both haue breeding from one teeming womb Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawnâ— Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boat And all the muses clad in Robes of Ayre Shall dance Leuoltons with a Whirligig Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen Dis And Poliphensus keepe a Seamsters shop The I le of Wight shall like a diue-dapper Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust Then on the bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene What 't is to serue the great Vtopian Queene This fearefull period with great ioyfull care Was heard with acclamations and in fine The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres Stood sitttng in a Throne of massy yeast Not speaking any word gaue this reply Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe I saw the Caedars of old Lebanoâ— Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath At which time a strange vision did appeare His head was Buckrum and his eyes were sedge His armes were blue bottles his teeth were straw His legs were nine wel squar'd Tobacco Pipes Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges Then with a voyce erected to the ground Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feet He thus beganne Cease friendly cutting throtes Clamor the Promulgation of your tongues And yeeld to Demagorgons policy Stop the refulgent method of your moodes For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres And with Sardanâ—pâ—lus match in vertue Yet Airoâ—os will with a Marigold Runne through the Mountains of the Caspian Sea When you shall see aboue you and beneath That nothing kils a man so soone as death Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces in firme league With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds And with a diogoricall relapse Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye Great Oberon was mounted on a Waspe To signifie this newes at Dunstable The Weathercock at Pancrage in a fume With Patience much distracted hearing this Repli'd thus briefly without feare or wit What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze Beyond the Dragons taile Artyphilax Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep-skin gloue Can make me take this Gobling for a Lambe Or that a Crocadile in Bariy broth Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub Giue me a Medler in a field of blue Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame And I
to euery Reader doe I write But onely vnto such as can Read right And with vnpartiall censures can declare As they find things to iudge them as they are For in this age Criticks are such store That of a B. will make a Battledore Swallow downe Camells and at Gnats will straine Make Mountaines of small Molehills and againe Extenuate faults or else faults amplifie According as their carping censures flye Such are within the Motto of I haue But though the gallant Gulls be ne'r so braue And in their owne esteeme are deemed wise I haue a mind their follies to despise There are some few that wil their iudgement season With mature vnderstanding and with reason And call a spade a spade a Sicophant A flatt'ring Knaue and those are those I want For those that seeme to read and scarce can spell Who neither point nor keepe their periods well Who doe a mans inuention so be-martyr So hanging drawing and so cut and quarter Making good lines contemptible threed-bare To keepe my booke from such as those I care Adue IOHN TAYLOR TAYLORS MOTTO ET HABEO ET CAREO ET CVRO. I HAVE I VVANT I CARE IS any man offended marry gep With a horse nightcap doth your Iadeship skip Although you kicke and fling and wince and spurn Yet all your Colts-tricks will not serue your turne Vice hath insected you 'gainst vertues force With more diseases then an aged horse * If all â—â—adeâ— saâ—e of VVaterman I will turne Farrier I doe not thinke that any Horse leâ—ch can blazon such a pedigree of matching nâ—ladiâ—s For some of you are hide-bound greedily Some haue the yellowes of false Ielousie Some with the staggers cannot stand vpright Some blind with Bribes can see to doe no right Some foundred that to Church they cannot goe Broke-winded some corrupted breath doth blow Some hoofe-bound some surbated and some graueld With trauelling where they shuld not haue traueld Some are crest-falne through th' immoderate vice Of gorgeous outsides smoake and drinke and dice And some are full of â—allenders and scratches The neck-cricke spauins shouldersplat and aches The ring-bone quitter-bone bots botch and scab And nauelgall with coursing of the Drab The back gall light-gall wind-gall shackle-gall And last the spur-gall the worst gall of all A good found horse needs not my whip to feare For none but Iades are wrung i' th withers here And doe these Hackneyes thinke to runne on still Without a bit or snafsle as they will And head-strong prancing through abuses dash And scape without a Satyrs yerking lash No they must know the Muses haue the might The vniust iustly to correct and smite To memorize victorious Vertues praise To make mens same or shame out-liue their dayâ— To force iniustice though it doe looke bigge With his owne nayles his cursed graue to digge T'emblaze the goodnesse of a man that 's poore And tell the vices of an Emperour All this the Muses dare and will and can Not sparing fearing flattring any man And so dare I if I iust cause doe see To write from feare or hate or flattry free Or taxing any in particulere But generall at all is written here For had I meant the Satyre to haue plaid In Aqua fortis I would whips haue laid And mixt my inke to make it sharpe with all With sublimate and Cockatrices gall Which with a Satyres spleene and fury fierce With the least ierke would to the entrailes pieâ—e And with a lash that 's lustily laid on Would strip and whip the world vnto the bone I know that none at me will spurne or kicke Whose consciences no villany doth pricke And such as those will in their kennels lye And gnar and snarle and grumble secretly But with full mouth they dare not barke or bite But fret within with rancor and despight For why before the world I make a vow There doth not liue that male or female now 'Gainst whom I haue so much as is a thought Much lesse against them are my Verses wrought This Motto in my head at first I tooke In imitation of a better Booke And to good mindes I no offence can giue To follow good examples whilst I liue â—or I had rather to abide detraction â—â—â—od be an Ape in any honest action â—hen wilfully into a fault to runne â—â—hough it before had by a King bin done â—â—e not here reuil'd against my betters â—hich make me fear no dungeon bolts or fetters â—or be he ne'r so great that doth apply â—â—y lines vnto himselfe is worse then I. â—mooth is my stile my method meane and plaine â—ee from a railing or inuectiue straine â—â— harmeleffe fashion here I doe declare â—ine owne rich wants poore riches and my care â—nd therefore at my wants let no man grieue â—xcept his charges will the same relieue â—nd for my Wealth except a rotten Boat â—â— neuer feared the cutting of my throat â—â—nd those that for my cares doe enuy me â—â—all in them if they list great sharers be â—â—ll my taxations are in generall â—â—oe any personall or nationall â—he troubles now in France I touch not here â—or of the Britainâ— Fleete before Argiâ—re â—or of the forces that the Turke doth bring â—gainst the Poland Kingdome and their King â—f Count Buckoy of Beth'lem Gabor or Of Spinola or any Ambassador Nor Denmarks King nor of the Emperour Nor Netherlands great Nauigable pow'r Nor of Religious points my Muse doth chant Of Roâ—â—ish Catholicke or Protestant Of Brownist Hussite or of Caluinist â—â—minian Puritan or Familist Nor against Corporation trade or Art My poore inuention speakes in any part And therefore Critticke snarle and snap and hang â—f inwardly thou feele my Satyres sang â—is wisedome in thee if thy spleene thou hide And mend thy selfe before thy faults be spide Thus as I boldly haue begun to enter Couragiously I 'l thorow the businesse venter Et Habeo I haue I Haue a Soule which though it be not good 'T was bought at a deare rate my Sauiours Blood And though the Diuell continually doe craue it Yet he that bought it hath most right to haue it I with my soule haue power to vnderstand The summe of my Creators great Command And yet I haue a Law within me still That doth rebell against his Sacred Will But though through merit I haue Hell deseru'd Through Mercy yet I haue a Heau'n reseru'd I haue a reason which can difference make 'Twixt good and bad to choose and to forsake I haue a working forward and free will Wherewith I haue inclined to doe ill I haue a Conscience which doth tell me true That for my sinnes the wrath of God is due And to relieue that Conscience terrifi'd I haue a Faith in Iesus Crucifi'd I haue a iudgement by the which I see And iudge how good and bad things different bee And with iust Censure I distinguish can The oddes beeweene a monster and a man But when with iudgement on my selfe I looke I straight wayes
reasonable time first to learne the languages of those Countries through which I am to passe betwixt the bounds of the Territories of this Prince and Christendome namely these three the Persian Turkish and Arab which I haue in some competent measure attained vnto by my labour and industry at the said Kings Court matters as auaileable vnto me as mony in my purse as being the chiefest or rather onely meane to get me mony if I should happen to be destitute a matter very incidentall to a poore Footman Pilgrim as my selfe in these heathen and Mahometan Countries through which I trauell Secondly that by the helpe of one of those languages I meane the Persian I might both procure vnto my selfe accesse vnto the King and bee able to expresse my mind vnto him about the matter for the which I should haue occasion to discourse with him These were the reasons that moued me so long to tarry at the Mogols Court during which time I abode in the house of the English Merchants my deare Countrimen not spending one little peece of mony either for diet washing lodging or any other thing And as for the Persian tongue which I studied very earnestly I attained to that reasonable skill and that in a fewe moneths that I made an Oration vnto the King before many of his Nobles in that language and after I had ended the same discoursed with his Maiesty also in that tongue very readily and familiarly the Copy of which speech though the tongue it selfe will seeme to an Englishman very strange and vncouth as hauing no kind of affinity with any of our Christian languages I haue for nouelty sake written out in this letter together with the translation thereof in English that you may shew it to some of my learned friends of the Clergy and also of the Temporalty in Euil and elswhere who belike will take some pleasure in reading so rare and vnusuall a tongue as this is The Persian is this that followeth The Copie of an Oration that I made in the Persian tongue to the Great Mogoll before diuers of his Nobles HAzaret Aallum pennah salamet fooker Daruces ve tehaungeshta hast am kernia emadam az wellagets door ganne az mulk Inglizan ke kessanaion petheeÌ„ mushacas cardand ke wellagets mazcoor der akers magrub bood ke mader hamma iezzaerts dunmast Sabebbe amadane mari mia boosti char cheez ast au val be dedane mobarreckdeedars Hazaret ke seete caramat ba hamma Trankestan reeseedast ooba tamam mulk Musulmanan der sheenedan awsaffe Hazaret daueeda amadam be deedane ast awne akdas mushar af geshtans duum bray deedane feelbay Hazaret kin chunm ianooar der heech mulk ne dedam seu in bray deedane nauswer dary ace shuâ—ma Ganga ke Serdare hamma daryaba dumiest Chaharum cen ast keyec ferm awne alishaion amayet fermoy and ke betwanam der wellayetts Vzbeck raftan ba shahre Samarcand bray Zeerat cardan cabbre mobarrec Saheb crawncab awsaffe tang oe mosachere oo der tamans aallum meshoor ast belkder wellagette Vzbec cencader meshoor neest chunan cheder mulc Iuglisan ast digr bishare eshteeac darambe deedane mobarrec mesare Saheb crawnca bray â—â—n saheb che awne samanche focheer de shabr stâ—lâ—l boodam ycaiaeb cohua amarat deedam dermâ—n yecush bawg nasdec sbaht mascoor coia che paâ—â—aâ— Eezawiawn che namesh Manuel bood che Saâ—â—â—â— crawnea cush mehmannec aseem cards bood beâ—dâ—â—â—â—â— gristane Sulten Baiasetra as iange aseem che sâ—â—â— bood nas dec shahre Bursa coimache Saheb craâ—â— Sultan Baiasetra de Zenicera tell aio bestand codâ— cafes nahadond cen char chees meera as mulche mâ—ium baneed tamia as mulc Room oo Arrac peeâ—â— geshta as door der cen mulc reseedam che châ—r bâ—sar pharsang raw dared beshare derd co moâ—â—â— casheedam che heech ches der een dunnia cencâ—â—â—n mohuet ne casheedast bray deedune mobarrec dedâ—â—s Hasereret own roos che be tacte shaugh ne shaughâ—â— musharaf fermoodand The English of it is this LOrd * This is the ordinary title that is giuen him by all strangers Protector of the world all haile to you I am a poore Traueller and worldseer which am come hither from a farre country namely England which ancient Historians thought to haue beene situated in the fartheâ— bounds of the West and which is the Queene of all the Ilands in the world The cause of my comming hither is for foure respects First to see the blessed face of your Maiesty whose wonderfull fame hath resounded ouer all Europe the Mahometan Countries When I heard of the fame of your Maiesty I hastened hither with speed and trauelled very cheerefully to see your glorious Court Secondly to see your Maiesties Elephants which kind of beasts I haue not seene in any other countrey Thirdly to see your famous Riuer Ganges which is the Captaine of all the Riuers of the world The fourth is this to intreat your Maiesty that you would vouchsafe to grant me your gracious Passe that I may travell into the Country of Tartaria to the City of Samarcand to visit the blessed Sepulcher of the Lord of the Corners this is a title that is giuen to Tamberlaine in this Country in that Persian language and whereas they call him the Lord of the Corners by that they mean that he was Lord of the corners of the world that is the highest and supreme Monarch of the Vniuerse whose fame by reason of his wars and victories is published ouer the whole world perhaps he is not altogether so famous â—n his own Country of Tartaria as in England Moreouer I haue a great desire to see the blessed Toombe of the Lord of the Corners for this cause for that when I was at Constantinople I saw a notable old building in a pleasant garden neere the said City where the Christian Emperor that was called Emanuel made a â—umptuous great Banquet to the Lord of the Corners after he had taken Sultan Baiazet in letters of Gold and put him in a cage of Iron These foure causes moued me to come out of by natiue Counrrey thus farre hauing trauelled a foot through Turkie and Persia so far haue I traced the world into this Countrey that my pilgrimage hath accomplished three thousand miles wherin I haue sustained much â—bour and toyle the like whereof no mortall â—â—an in this World did euer performe to see â—â—e blessed face of your Maiesty since the first day that you were inaugurated in your glorious Monarchall throne After I had ended my speech I had some â—â—ort discourse with him in the PersiaÌ„ tongue â—ho amongst other things told me that concerning my trauell to the City of Samarcand â—â— was not able to doe me any good because â—here was no great amity betwixt the Tartaâ—â—an Princes and himselfe so that his commendatory letters would doe mee no good â— Also he added that the Tartars did so deadly hate all Christians that they would certainely kill them when they came
A Tale to cast me to ten thousand Hels The Iury are my Thoughts vpright in this They sentence me to death for doing amisse Examinations more there need not then Than what 's confest here both to God and Men. The Cryer of she Court is my blacke Shame Which when it calls my Iury doth proclaime Vnlesse as they are summon'd they appeare To giue true Verdict of the Prisoner They shall haue heauy Fines vpon them set Such as may make them dye deepe in Heauens debt About me round sit Innocence and Truth As Clerkes to this high Court and little Ruth From Peoples eyes is cast vpon my face Because my facts are barbarous damn'd and base The Officers that 'bout me thicke are plac'd To guard me to my death when I am cast Are the blacke stings my speckled soule now feeles Which like to Furies dogge me close at heeles The Hangman that attends me is Despaire And gâ—owing wormes my fellow-Prisoners are His Inditement for murder of his Children THe first who at this Sessions â—â—â— doth call me Is Murder whose grim visage doth appall me His eyes are fires his voice rough winds out-rores And on my bead the Diuine vengeance scares So fast and fearefully I sinke to ground And with â— were in twenty Oceans drownd He sayes I haue a bloudy Villaine bin And to proue this ripe Euidence steps in Brew'd like my selfe Iustice so brings about That blacke sinnes still hunt one another out 'T is like a rotten frame ready to fall For one maine Post being shaken puls downe all To this Inditement holding vp my hand Fattered with Terrors more then Irons stand And being ask'd what to the Bill I say Guilty I cry O dreadfull Sessions dayâ— His Iudgement FOr these thick Stigian streams in which th' ast â—â—â— Thy guilt hath on thee laâ—d this bitter doome Thy loath'd life on a Tree of shame must take A leaue compeld by Law e'r old age make Her signed Passe port ready Thy offence No longer can for dayes on earth dispense Time blot thy name out of this bloudy roule And so the Lord haue mercy on my Soule His speech what hee could say for himselfe O Wretched Caitiffe what perswasiue breath Can cal back this iust Sentence of quick death I begge no beene but mercy at Gods hands The King of Kings the Soueraigne that coÌ„maâ—â— Both Soule and Body O let him forgiue My Treason to his Throne and whilst I liue Iebbits and Racks shall torture limme by limme Through worlds of Deaths I 'l breake to fly to him My Birth-day gaue not to my Mothers wombe More ease then this shall ioyes when e'r it come My body mould to earth sinnes sink to Hell My penitent Soule win Heauen vain world farewell FINIS TAYLORS REVENGE OR The Rimer VVILLIAM FENNOR firkt ferrited and finely fetcht ouer the Coales To any that can read BE thou either Friend or Foe or indifferent all 's one Read Laugh like or dislike all the care is taken The chiefest cause why I wrote this was on set purpose to please myselfe Yet to shew thee the meaning of this little building imagine the Epistle to be the doore and if thou please come in and see what stuffe the whâ—â—â— Frame is made off Bee it therefore knownne vnto all men that I Iohn Taylor Watermanâ— â—â—â—agree with William Fennor who arrogantly and falsely entitles himselfe the Kings Masâ— â—â—â—Riming Poet to answer me at a triall of Wit on the seuenth of October last 1614 â—â—â— the Hope stage on the Bank-side and the said Fennor receiued of mee ten shillings in â—â—â— of his comming to meet me whereupon I caused 1000 bills to be Printed and diuulg'd â—â—â—1000 wayes and more giuing my Friends and diuers of my acquaintance notice of â—â—â— Bear-garden banquet of dainty Conceits and when the day came that the Play should â—â—â—haue beene performed the house being fill'd with a great Audience who had all spent their moâ—â—â— extraordinarily then this Companion for an Asse ran away and left mee for a Foole amongst thousands of criticall Censurers where I was ill thought of by my friends scorned by â—â—â— and in conclusion in a greater puzzell then the blinde Beare in the midst of all her â—â—â—broth Besides the summe of twenty pounds in money I lost my Reputation amongst â—â—â— and gaind disgrace in stead of my better expectations In Reuenge of which wrongs done â—â—â— me by the said Riming Rascall I haue written this Inuectiue against him chiefly because ill-looking Hound doth not confesse he hath intur'd mee nor hath not so much honestly â—â—â— bring or send me my money that he tooke for earnest of me but on the contrary parts â—â—â— and abuses mee with his calumnious tongue and scandalizeth me in all Companies â—â—â— beares me nominated But in a word Reader when thou hast read this that followes I thinke thou wilt iudge me cleare of the many false Imputations that are laid vpon mee So I â—â—â—thee to thy Considerations and I proceed to my Exclamations Thine as thou art mine IOHN TAYLOR WILLIAM FENNOR Anagramma NV VILLANY For me OR Forme NV VILLANY NV VILLANY Forme Nue fresh and New Or Forme NV VILLANY Come Turk come Iew â—â—â— who dares come for I haue found a Theame That ouerflowes with matter like a streame And now stand cleere my masters ' ware your shins For now to kick and fling my Muse begins How fit his name is Anagrammatiz'd And how his Name is Anatomiz'd 'T would make a horse with laughing breake his bridle But to the purpose long delayes are idle TO WILLIAM FENNOR COME Sirrha Rascall off your clothes S r strip For my Satyrrick whip shall make you skip Th'adst better to haue dealt with all the Deuils They could not plague thee with so many euils Nay come man neuer whine or crooch or kneele My heart cannot one lot of pitty feele I haue squeez'd the Gall from out the Lernean snake With which Reuengefull Inke I meane to make Which I with Aqua-fortis will commix Yblended with the lothsome Lake of Stix And with that Marrow-eating hatefull Inke I 'll make thee more then any Aiax stinke A Scritch-owles quill shall be my fatall pen That shall emblaze thee basest slaue of men So that when as the pur-blind world shall see How vildly thou hast plaid the Rogue with mee They shall perceiue I wrong them not for pelse And thou shalt like a Rascall hang thy selfe What damned Villaine would forsweare sweare At thou didst 'gainst my challenge to appeare To answer me at Hope vpon the stage And thereupon my word I did ingage And to the world did publish printed Bills With promise that we both would shew our skills And then your Rogue-ship durst not shew your face But ran away and left me in disgrace To thee ten shillings I for earnest gane To bind thee that thou shouldst not play the Knaue Curre hadst thou no mans Credit to betray But mine or couldst thou find no other way
of Maiâ—â—â— and Nobility as we doe I write not to disparrage any nor with boasting to puffe vp our selues none comes neerer except the Barber and long and often may he come or the Physicion and Chirurgion which God grant they may bee euer needlesse but a Water-man many times hath his Soueraigne by the hand to stay him in and out the Barge where there is not aboue halfe an inch betwixt life death the Barge being then the royal Court being but a dore betwixt the King them they are at that time Gentlemen of the priuy Chamber or Yeomen of the Gard at least And thus much I am bold to insert for my selfe and many more of my company that I know that we neuer exacted mony wrongfully or contended with any of the Kings Leidge people for more then they themselues would giue with any reason or gaue any one abusiue or vnreuerend speeches if they would not go with vs for we know that men are free to buy their cloath at what Drapers they please or their stuffes at which Mercers they will what Taylor they list make their garments and what Cooke they lâ—ke may dresse their meat and so forth of all fâ—â—â—â—ions euery man is free to make his choyâ—e and so amongst Watermen men may take whom they please because they are sâ—ound to none he that goes with me shall haue my labor and I am in hope to haue his moneyâ— he that will not goâ— with me goes with another and I haue the more ease the while he doth me no wrong in not going with me I will do â—â—â—â— iniury for going from â—â—â— this is my resolution and a number more of my Company and those that are otherwise minded â—â—â— all my heart that God will be pleased to â—â—â— them or else that the Hangman may haue authority to end them But to returne to the purpose from which I haue too long digrest The Players are men that I generally loue and wish well vnto and to their quality and I doe not know any of them but are my friends and wish as much to me and howsoeuer the matter falls out whether they play or not play I thanke God I am able to liue as well as another either with them or without them But my loue is such vnto them that whereas they do play but once a day I could bee content they should play twice or thrice a day so it were not in such places as doth vndoe so many thousands of poore people for as it is it were much better for vs that they plaid no where And seeing so triuiall a cause as this would be scarâ—e incommodious to any and more commodious to vs then the foure Tearmes in the yeere seeing our necessities so great and our reliefe harmelesse to any seeing the vse of vs expedient if occasions serue abroad or at home and our vnablenesse to set our selues to sea by reason of ouâ— want our hope is that wee shall bee as much â—eckoned of as horses for horses haue meat drink and lodging though they be but seldome ridden and many of them haue a warme footcloth when thousand of seruiceable men are like to famish and starâ—â— through want and nakednesse As concerning our endeauours to â—â—moue the shelues and sands in the Thames whicâ— are a great â—â—noyance to the Riuer and huâ—â—â— full to the City As his Maiesty hath comâ—manded and the Right Honourable the Loâ—â— Maior the rest of his worshipfull brethreâ— shall direct we shall with all willingnesse doâ— our duties we doubt not both to the King Maiesties contentment the good of the City and the good report of our selues Thus becuase the truth shewes best being naked I haue plainely set downe how farre proceeded in my suite how it was broken ofâ— what thankes I haue for my paines The necessity of the cause that made mee goe abouâ—â—â—â— it The abuses I had because it tooke no effect which is the chiefe cause why I wrote thiâ— Pamphlet to iustifie my selfe At these thing I hope the Iudicious Vnderstander will iudge accordingly alwaies esteeming mee a Loyal ouer of my Countrey and my Company FINIS Wit and Mirth CHARGEABLY COLLECTED OVT OF TAVERNS ORDINARIES Innes Bowling Greenes and Allyes Alehouses Tobacco Shops Highwayes and Water passages Made vpâ— and â—â—â—â—â— Clinohes â—ulls Quirkes Yerkes â—…garbled at the requâ—â— of old â—â—â—n GAâ—â—â—â— Ghâ—â— DEDICATED To the truely Loyall harted learned well-accomplished Gentleman Mâ—â—ter â—â—â— SIR BEing enioyned by the Ghost or â—â—â— beloued to collect gleant or gather a bundle or trusse of Mirth and for his â—â—â— bestrow the stage of the melancholly world with it and withall to present it to somâ— â—â— generous spirit who was old Iohns friend I thought upon many to whom I might haue â—â—â— my Dedication who were both Royall Honourable Worshipfull and all well-affected toâ—â—rds him As to mention one for all that Iewell of the world and richest Iem of her sex that Magazine of the two inestimable Iewels Patience and Fortitude to that illustrious â—â—relesse Princesse I might haue recommended it to whose seruice and for whose happinesse his life and best endeauours with his prayers and implorations at his death were vnfainealy â—â—â—â—rated But my manners conceiuing the subiect of this Booke of altogether to triuiall a â—â—â— to be sheltred vnder the shadow of the wings of transcendent and admired Maiestie â—â—â— so many steps downe the staires with my inuention where by good fortune I met with â—â—â— whom I knew did loue that old honest mirrour of mirth deceased and whom the world â—â—â—ter knows are a true deunted friend to honest harmelesse mirth and laudable recreation â—â—â—herefore entreat you that when your more serious affaires will permit you would beâ—â—â—â—â— the looking vpon these my poore and beggarly wardrobe of witty Iests whom I dare not â—â—â— Apothegmes And because I had many of them by relation and heare-say I am in doubt that some of them â—â—â— be in print in some other Authors which I doe assure you is more then I doe know which â—â—â—â— be so I pray you but to conniue or tollerate and let the Authors make twice as bold with â—â— at any time Thus wishing euery one to mend one whereby the rent and torne garments of Thred-bare â—â—â— may be well and merrily patched and repaired crauing your pardon with my best wishes â—â—â—aine Yours euer in the best of my best studies hereof IOHN TAYLOR IOHN GARRETS GHOST â—He doores and windowes of the Heauens were barr'd And Nights blacke Curtaine like an Eâ—on Robe From Earth did all Celestiall light discard And in sad darknesse clad the ample Globe Dead midnight came the Cats ' gan catterwaule The time when Ghosts and Goblings walke about â—â—â— Owles shrick dismall Dogs doe bawle Whileâ— conscience cleare securely sleeps it out At such a time I sleeping in my bed A â—â—â—â— strange appear'd vnto my â—ight â—â—â—zement all my senses ouer spread And fill'd me full with terrour and
so lowde she cannot sleepe Lo thus the deuill sowes contentious seed Whence sects schismes and heresies do breed Epigram 15. Kissing goes by fauour BEmbus the Burgomaster liues in paine With the Sciatica and the Cathar Rich Grundo of the dropsie doth complaine And with the Gowt these mizers troubled are If Tinkers Coblers Botchers be infected With Bembus Lamenesse or with Grundoes Gowt Like pocky fellowes they must bee reiected And as infectious rascals bee kept out And not come neere where wholesome people flocks Thus rich mens sicknesses are poore mens pocks Epigram 16. Deere no Venison PRocilla alwaies calls her husband Deere Belike shee bought him at too deare a rate Or else to make the case more plaine appeare Like to a Deere she hath adorn'd his pate If it be so god Vulcan send her lucke That she may liue to make her Deere a Bucke Epigram 17. Euery thing is prettie when it is little THere is a saying old but not so wittie That when a thing is little it is prettie This doating age of ours it finely fits Where many men thought wise haue pretty wits Epigram 18. I meant somewhat ONe ask'd mee what my Melancholy meanes I answer'd 'T was because I wanted meanes He ask'd what I did by my answer meane I told him still my meanes were too too meane He offer'd me to lend me pounds a score I answer'd him I was too much in score He finding me in this crosse answ'ring veine Left me in want to wish for wealth in vaine Epigram 19. Faith without workes A Mongst the pure reformed Amsterdammers Those faithfull Friday feasting capon craÌ„mers Only in them they say true faith doth lurke But 't is a lazy faith 't will doe no worke O should it worke ther 's many thousand feares 'T would set the world together by the eares Epigram 20. Partiality STrato the Gallant recles alongst the street His addle head 's too heauy for his feete What though he sweare and swagger spurn kick Yet men will say the Gentleman is sick And that 't were good to learn where he doth dwell And helpe him home because he is not well Strait staggers by a Porter or a Carman As bumsie as a fox'd flapdragon German And though the Gentlemans disease and theirs Are parted onely with a paire of sheares Yet they are Drunken knaues and must to th' stocks And there endure a world of flouts and mocks Thus wheÌ„ braue Strato's wits with wine are shrunk The same disease will make a begger drunke Epigram 21. A keeper of honesty DEliro should of honesty be full And store of wisedome surely is within him What though he dally with a painted Trull And shee to folly daily seemes to win him Yet in him sure is honesty good store He vtters but his knauerie with a whore For he that spends too free shall surely want Whilst he that spares will liue in wealthy state So wit and honesty with such are scant Who part with it at euery idle rate But men must needes haue honesty and wit That like Deliro neuer vtter it Epigram 22. All 's one but one's not all TO wonder and admire is all one thing If as Synonimies the words be tooke But if a double meaning from them spring For double sence your Iudgement then must looke As once a man all soild with durt and mire Fell downe and wonder'd not but did admire Epigram 23. Mistresse fine bones FIne Parnell wonderfully likes her choyce In hauing got a husband so compleate Whose shape and mind doth wholy her reioyce At bed board and abroad he 's alwaies neate Neate can he talke and feed and neatly tread Neate are his feete but most neate is his head Epigram 34. A supposed Constructions MAry and Mare Anagrammatiz'd The one is Army and the other Arme â—â—â— both their names is danger Moraliz'd â—â— both alike doe sometimes good or harme Mare 's the sea and Mare 's Arme 's a riuer And Mary's Armie 's all for whatl ' yee giue her Epigram 25. Death is a Inggler A Rich man sicke would needs go make his will And in the same he doth command and will The hundred pound vnto his man call'd Will Because hee alwaies seru'd him with good will But all these wills did proue to Will but vaine His master liues and hath his health againe Epigram 26. Mistresse Grace onely by name GRace gracelesse why art thou vngracious Grace Why dost thou run so lewdly in the race The cause wherefore thy goodnesse is so scant â—â—ose what most thou hast thou most dost want Epigram 27. Prudence T Is strange that Prudence should be wilde and rude Whose very name doth Modesty include â—â—e reason is for ought that I can see Her name and nature doe not well agree Epigram 28. MercyÌ„ MY Mercy hates me what 's the cause I pray T is ' cause I haue no money thee doth say â—mell Mercy now I plainly see Without a see no mercie comes from thee â—et in conclusion euery idle gull â—â—ceines thy Mercy is vnmercifull Epigram 29. Faith O Faith thou alwaies vnbeleeuing art Faith in thy name and faithlesse in thy heart â—â—â—credidst all but what is true and good â—vertue rude in vice well vnderstood Epigram 30. Vpon my selfe MY selfe I like to an vntun'd Viall For like a Viall I am in a Case And whoso of my fortunes makes a triall Shall like to me be strung and tuned base And Trebles Troubles he shall neuer want But heere 's the Period of my mischiefes All Though Base and Trebles fortune did me grant And Meanes but yet alas they are too small Yet to make vp the Musicke I must looke The Tenor in the cursed Counter booke Epigram 31. A Rope for Parrat WHy doth the Parrat cry a Rope a Rope Because hee 's cag'd in prison out of hope Why doth the Parrat call a Boate a Boate It is the humour of his idle note O pretty Pall take heed beware the Cat. Let watermen alone no more of that Since I so idlely heard the Parrat talke In his owne language I say Walke knaue walke Epigram 32. Constants INconstant Constants all-bewitching feature Hath made faire Constance an inconstant Creature Her Godmother was very much to blame To giue Inconstancy a constant name But 't was a woman nam'd her so contrary And womens tongues and hearts doe euer vary Epigram 33. Vpon the burning of the Globe A Spiring Phaeton with pride inspir'd Misguiding Phoebus Carre the world he fir'd But Ouid did with fiction serue his turne And I in action sawe the Globe to burne Epigram 34. Late Repentance A Greedy wretch did on the Scriptures looke And found recorded in that Sacred booke How such a man with God should sure preuaile Whoâ—clad the naked and visit those in Iaile And then he found how he had long mistak'd And oftentimes had made the cloathed nak'd In stead of visiting th' opprest in mones He had consum'd them to the very bones Yet one day he at
Anothers Horses drawes it quite away One giues a Iarrs of Oyle to scape the soile An Oxe o'retures the Iarre and spils the Oyle And thus like Pharaohs kine he hath the power To make the fastest bribes the leane deuoure His motions moue commotions and his suites Foure times a yeare doe Termely yeeld him fruits Foure sundry wayes a Kingdomes Lawes are vs'd By tow maintained and by two abus'd Good Lawyers liue by Law and 't is most fit Good men obey the Law liue vnder it Bad Lawyers for their gaine doe wrest the Law Bad men of God or mans Law haue no awe But whether these men vse Law well or ill Th' intention of the Law is honest still For as the text is rent and torne and varied And by opinions from the sence is carried By ignorant and wilfull Hereticks Or impure separating Sehismaticks Though from the truth of text all men should seuer The text is permanent and Sacred euer Euen so the Law is in selfe vpright Correcting and protecting wrong and right T is no just Lawyers or the Lawes desame Although some hounds of hell abuse the same This Cormorant I meane gulps whom he list And hauing swallow'd fees into his fist Deferres the motion till the Court with drawes Then to the cushions pleads the poore mans cause As formally as if the Iudge fate No matter for the man the money 's gat My Cormorant was neuer match'd till now If I said o'rematch'd I le resolue you how And you that reade it shall confesse it true Perhaps it is a thing well knowne to you Where Corâ—â—ants haunts numbers of fish grow lesse But where bad Lawyers come there brawles increase Now master Vndershrieue I vnderstand You bring my Lawyer worke vnto his hand You bring him stuffe hee like a Taylor cuts it And into any shape hee pleaseth puts it Though to the Client it appeare slight stuffe It shall out-last him any suite of Buffe For though from terme to terme it be worne long T is drest still with the teazle of the tongue That though it be old at euery day of heating It lookes fresh as 't had neuer come to wearing And though it seeme as th' owner neuer wore it A Broaker will not giue him three pence for it Sweet master Shrieue let it not grieue your mind You being the last o' th brood come last behind No doubt you might be first in a bad case But being call'd vnder I make this your place I know where e're you stand you are so good You 'l scorne to be vnlike one of the brood And tak 't in dudgeon as you might no doubt If mongst this ranke of Corm'rantsâ— you were out I haue a warrant heere for what I doe Plaine truth it selfe and that haue seldome yoe Some of your tribe a man may honest call But those my Corm'rant meddles not withall You that dare fright men of a shallow wit Who cannot read when there is nothing writ And can returne when you are pleas'd to saue A Non inuentus for a bribing knaue For one that stands indebted to the King A Nihil habet if his purse can ring When a poore man shall haue his Bullockes ceaz'd And priz'd at little to make you appeaz'd You haue the art and skill to raze words out Of Writs and Warrants to bring gaine about I will not serue you so for if you looke Your name stands fairely printed in my booke For every one to reade how you can straine On Widowes goods and restore none againe Picke Iuries for your purose which is worse Then if you pick'd the wronged Plaintiffes purse Returne your Writs to your aduantage best Bring in some money and drab out the rest Leauing oft times the high Shrieue in the lurch Who stops the bountie should repaire the Church Or buy some Bels to sound out his deuotion If either Ayre or Earth or the wide Ocean Can shew worse Cormorants or any brooke I 'le neuer aske a penny for my Booke EPILOGVE Now Reader tell me if thou well canst iudge If any honest man haue cause to grudge At these my Stayres being plaine and true Giuing the world and the Diuell their due I haue but bluntly call'd a spade a spade And hee that wincheth shewes himselfe a â—ade Be quiet see thy faults and learnet ' amend Thou shewest thy guiltinesse if thou contend FINIS TAYLORS WATER-WORKE OR THE SCVLLERS TRAVELS FROM TYBER TO THAMES WITH his Boat laden with a Hotch-potch or Gallimawfrey of Sonnets Satyres and Epigrams With an Inkhorne Disputation betwixt a Lawyer and a Poet and a Quarterne of new-catcht Epigrams caught the last Fishingâ—â—â— together with an addition of Pâ—storâ—â—â— Equiâ—â—â— or the complaint of a Shepheard â—… DEDICATED To neither Monarch nor Miser Keaser nor Caitiffe Pallatine or Plebeian but to great Mounsier Multitude ahas All or euery One IOHN TAYLOR sends his Scull-boats lading to be câ—nsured as please their Wisedomes to screw their Lunatike opinions MOst Mighty Catholike or Vmuer sall Mounsier Multitude whose many millions of Hvâ—raes heads Arâ—â—-eâ—es and â—â—â— hands â—â— if you pleaseâ— to iudge of my Water-Muses â—â—â—â—â— to looke with hundreds of â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— of my Sculler or to lend a few of your many hands to helpe to tugge me a shore at the Hauen of your goodwâ—ls which if you doe it is more then my â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— expcet or merit But if you will not assâ—st me I will â—â—â—â— the next high tide and scramble vp intoâ— though â—he fast a ground for my labour â—e grable for Gudgeons or fish for Flounders in the Rereward of our eâ—â—â— temporizing â—â—umorists sharpe Satyrists or â—â—â— call â—â—â— I could wish my lines might please like Cheese to a Wâ—lchman Rutter to a Flemine Vsâ—â—â—baugh to an Irishman or Honey to a Beare To conclude I wish best to the Protestâ—â—t I â—â—â— the â—â—â— praying for the perseuerance of the one and a Reâ—ormation of the other Meane â—â—â— my â—â—â— like a Barbers shop is readie for all commers bee they of what Religion they well paying their Farewell Yours ten thousand wayes IOHN TAYLOR To the Right Worshipfull and my euer respected Mr. IOHN MORAY Esqire OF all the wonders this vile world includes I muse how sâ—atterie such high fauours gaine How adulation cunningly deludes Both high and low from Scepâ—er to the swaine But it thou by Sâ—â—tterie couldst obtaine More then the most that is possest by men Thou canst not tune thy tongue to falshoods straine Yet with the best canst vse both tongae and pen. Thy sacred learning can both scan and kâ—n The hidden things of Nature and of Art 'T is thouh all â—â—'d me from obliuions den And made my Muse from oblcure sleepe to start Vnto thy wisdomes censure I commit This first bâ—rne issue of my worthlesse wit I.T. To my deâ—re respected friend Maister Beniamin Iehuson THou canst not â—â—â— for though the strâ—â—â— of death Depriâ—â—â— the World of thyworst â—â—â—thly part Yet when the corps hath banished thy
to eate Thou the true rules of Iustice dost obserue To feed the lab'rer let the idle sterue And I so many faithlesse men haue found As any man that liues vpon the ground Who haue done me wrong and themselues no good And swore and forswore in their damned mood Whilst I fond I haue lent and giuen away To such as not so much as thankes will pay For shame and modesty I name them not But let their black soules beare the impure blot Of falshood periury and odious lyes That diuels in shape of Mankind can deuise If these lines happen to their hands to come They 'l pick their teeth look downward and cry hum ' But goodnesse how should euer I expect From such who doe so true a friend neglect And therefore Thames with thee I haue decreed Because thou neuer faild me in my need To thee to thee againe I doe retire And with thee I le remaine till life expire The Oare hath foure or fiue vertues first it is healthfull second it auoyds bad company third it keeps men sober seurâ—h is gets mony fi lt it anoyds expences all which vertues I will put in practise and fall to rowing Thou art my Mistresse and oft times from thee Thy liberalitie hath flow'd to me And for thou alwayes giuest me meanes to linâ—â— My self most thankefully my selfe doe giue Momus thou Sonne of Somnus and of Nox Take not my lines all for a Paradox For most of them seeme true and I doe rue That many of them I doe know too true Sleepe Momus sleepe in Murceas slothfullbed Let Morpheus locke thy tongue within thy head Or if thou needâ—â— wilt prate prate to this end To giue commends to that thou canst not mend 'T is not a guilded Gull made vp with oathes That sweares and dams himselfe into good cloathes That weares his cloake beneath his skirts and wast Cause men may see how he is trust and brao'd Such a fantasticke aâ—â—e I care not for He flewts my lines and I doe him abhor My poore inuention no way is supply'd With cutting large thongâ— from anothers hide I haue not stolne a syllable or letter From any man to make my booke seeme better But similies comparisons each line Indifferent good or bad they all are mine Yet I confesse I haue read many a booke From whence I haue some obseruations tooke Which I make vse of as occasions touch And any Poet I thinke will doe as much I will not brag to all men bee it knowne By learning I haue nothing of mine owne But had I tongues and languages like many Sure I should filch and strale as much as any But like an Artlesse Poet I say still I am a Taylor true against my will Thus ending like to Iasons Golden-fleece This worke of Hempsecd is my Master-pâ—â—â—â— FINIS TAYLORS TRAVELS To Hamburgh in Germanie DEDICATED To the Cosmographicall Geographicall describer Geometricall measurer Historiographicall Calligraphicall Relater and Writer Enigmaticall Pragmaticall Dogmaticall Obseruer Ingrosser Surueyer and Eloquent Brittish Graecian Latinist or Latine Graecian Orator the Odcombyan Deambulator Perombulator Ambler Trotter or untyred Traueller Sir THO CORIAT Knight of Troy and one of the dearest darlings to the blind Goddesse Fortune Most worthy Sir as Quintillian in his Apothegmes to the naked learned Gimnosephists of AEthiopia very wittily sayes Potanto Machayo corbatio monomosco kayturemon Lescus Ollipufftingere whingo which is knowledge is a maine Antithesis to ignorance and paines and trauaile is the high way to experience I beeing therefore well acquainted with the generous vrbanity innated or rooted in your humanity in these dayes of vanity I dedicate out of my affability debility ability imbecility facility or agility this poore Pamphlet to your nobility in all seruility and humility not doubting but the fluent secundity of your wisedomes profundity in your heads retundity will conserue reserue preserue and obserue what I and my industrious labours deserue I doe out of mine owne congnition auerre and abett that he is senselesse that will assent that the Fates did assigne with their whole assistance that any should aspire to bee an associate in any assembly boldly to assimulate assay assault or ascribe to any mortall but your selfe super latiue marority or transcendency for trauailes obseruations and or atorie These things being reuolued and ruminated in the sagacitie or acutenesse of my Pericranion I imagined that no man vnder the Cope was more worthy then your selfe to be a Patronizing Poplar to shelter my poore reed-like endeauours Howsoeuer in the preter lapsed occurrences there hath beene an Antagonisticall repugnancy betwixt vs yet I hope time and trauaile hath worne it thred bare or brought it to an irrecouerable consumption withall I know you are vncapable of inexpugnable malice inueterate malignancy or emulation I protest tongue-tide taciturnity should haue imprisoned this worke in the Lethargicall Dungeon or bottomlesse Abisse of euer-sleeping obliuion but that I am confident of your Patronage and acceptance which if it fall out no according to any Promerits of mine but out of mine owne expectation of your matchlesse vnparalcll dd sposition I shall hereafter sacrifice whole Hecatombs of inuention both in Prose Verse at the shrine of your vnfellowed and vnfollowed vertues So wishing more to see you then to heare from you because Writers want worke and the Presse is turned voluntary through the scarcity of imployments which I hope your presence will supply I pray that Neptnne AEolus Tellus Bacchus and all the watery windy earthly and drinking Deities may be officious auspicious and delicious vnto you humbly imploring you to take in good part this my sophisticall paradoxicall submission with a mentall reseruation of my loue and seruice to sympathize or be equiualent to your kinde liking and corroborated affecting He that hath a poore muse to trot in your seruice with all obsequious obseruance IOHN TAYLOR TAYLORS TRAVELS Three VVeekes three Dayes and three Houres Obseruations from LONDON to HAMBVRGH in â—â—â— Amongst Iemes and Gentiles with Descriptions of Townes and Towers Castles and Cittadels artificiall Gâ—â—lowies Naturall Hangmen And Dedicated for the present to the absent Odcombian Knight Erraâ—t S r. THOMAS CORIAT Great Brittaines Error and the worlds Mirror VPon Saturday the 17. of August 1616. after I had taken leaue of some friends that would hardly giue me leaue to leaue them I was associated with fiue or sixe courteous Comrades to the Hauen of Billingsgate where I was no sooner come but I was shipt to a wherry for the Port of Grauesend and hauing two Women and three Men in my company thither wee past the way away by telling tiles by turnes Where one of the women tooke vpon her very Logically to defend the honestie of Brokers and she maintained her Paradoxicall Arguments so pithily as if her selfe like a desperate pawne had layn seauen yeares in Lauender on sweeting in long Lane or amongst the dogged inhabitants of Houndsditch And one of the men replyed that
a free City not being subiect to the Emperour or any other Prince but onely gouerned by twenty foure Burgomasters whereof two are the chiefe who are called Lords and doe hold that dignity from their first election during their liues The buildings are all of one vniforme fashion very lofty and stately it is wonderful populous and the water with boats comes through most of the streets of the towne Their Churches are most gorgeously set forth as the most of them couered with copper with very lofty Spires and within sides they are adorned with crucifixes Images and pictures which they doe charily keepe for ornaments but not for idle or idoll adoration In S. Iacobs and in Saint Katherines Churches there is in one of them a Pulpit of Alablaster and in the other a paie of such Organs which for worth and workmanship are vnparaleld in Christendome as most trauailers doe relate The women there are no fashion mongers but they keepe in their degrees one continuall habit as the richer sort doe weare a Huicke which is a robe of cloth or stuffe plated and the vpper part of it is gathered and sowed together in the forme of an English potlid with a tasfell on the top and so put vpon the head and the garment goes ouer her ruffe and face if she please and so downe to the ground so that a man may meet his owne wife and perhaps not know her from another Woman They haue no Porters to beare burdens but they haue bigge burly-bon'd knaues with their wiues that doe daily draw Carts any whether vp and downe the towne with Marchants goods or any other imployments And it is reported that these Cart-drawers are to see the rich men of the Towne prouided of milch-nurses for their children which nurses they call by the name of Ams so that if they doe want a nurse at any time these fellowes are cursed because they haue not gotten wenches enough with childe to supply their wants But if a man of any fashion doe chance to goe astray to a house of iniquity the whilst he is in the house at his drudgery another of the whores will goe to the Sherif which they call the Right-heere and informe that such a man is in such a suspected house then is his comming forth narrowly watched and he is taken and brought before the Right-heere and examined where if he bee a man of credit he must and will pay forty fifty or sixty Rex Dollers before he will haue his reputation called in question Of which money the queane that did informe shall haue her reward A Lawyer hath but a bad trade there for any Cause or Controuersie is tryed and determined in three dayes Quirks Quiddits Demurs Habeas Corposes Sursararaes Procedendoes or any such dilatory Law-tricks are abolished and not worth a button But aboue all I must not forget the rare actions and humours of a Quacksaluer or Mountebanke or to speake more familiarly a shadow oâ— a skilfull Chyrurgian This fellow beeing claâ— in an ancient doublet of decayed Satin withâ— Spruce Leather Ieâ—kin with Glasse buttons the rest of his attire being correspondent was mounted vpon a Scaffold hauing shelfes set with Viols Gallipots Glasses Boxes and such like stuffe wherein as he said were Watcrs Oyles Vnguents Emplafters Electuaries Vomits Purges and a world of neuer heard of Drugs and being mounted as I said he his man begin to proclaime all their skill and more hauing a great number of idle and ignorant gazers on he began as followeth as I was informed by my Interpreter for I vnderstood not one word he spake I Iacomo Compostella Practitioner in Physicke Chyrurgery and the Mathematicks beeing a man famous through Europe Asia Affeâ— cke and America from the Orientall exhaltation of Titan to his Occidentall declination who for the Testimony of my skill and the rae cures that I haue done haue these Princes hands and seales as first the great Cham of Tartaria in whose Court onely with this water which is the Elixar of Henbane diafracted in a Diurnall of Egredients Hippocratonticke Auiceniâ—â— and Catarackt with this did I cure the great Dutchesse of Promulpho of the cramp in her tongue and with this Oyle did I restore the Emperour Grâ—gory Euanowich of a Convulsion in his Pâ—â—icranion From thence I trauailed through Slauonia where I met with Mustapha Despot of Seruis who at that time was intolerably vexed with a Spasâ—us so that it often droue him into a Syncope with the violent obstructions of the conflagerating of his veines Onely with this precious Vnguent being the Quintessence of Nugwort with Auripigmenty terragrophicated in a Limbecke of Chystalline translucency I recouered him to his former health and for my reward I had a Barbary Horse with rich Caparisons a Turkish Semitar a Persian Robs 2000. Hungarian Ducats Besides here are the hands and Scales of Potâ—hamacke Adelant ado of Prozewgma and of Gulcâ— Flownder scurfe chiefe Burgomaster of Belgrade and of diuers Princes and estates which to auoid tedious prolixity I omit But good people if you or any other bee troubled with Apo. plexies Palsies Cramps Lethargies Cataracks Qunsies Tisicks Pleurisies Coüghs Headaches Terrian Qâ—â—artan and Qâ—otidian Agues burning â—â—auers laundizes Dropsies Collicks Illiaca passio's the Stone the Strangury the Poxe Plague Botches Biâ—es Blanes Scabs Scurfs Mange Leprosies Cankers Megrims Mumps Fluxes Meazels Murreins Gouts Consumptions Tooth-ach Ruptures Hernia Aquosa Hernia Ventosa Hernia Carnosa or any other maladie that dares afflâ—ct the body of man or woman come and buy while you may haue it for money for I am sent for speedily to the Emperour of Trapezond about affaires of great importance that highly concernes his royall person Thus almost two houres did this fellow with embost words and most laborious action talke and sweat to the people that vnderstood no more what he said then he himselfe vnderstood himselfe And I thinke his whole takings for simple compounds did amount in the totall to â—pence sterling But leauing Hamburgh hauing gathered these few obseruations aforesaid out of it I went August 28. and my first iaunt of my trauels was by water to a Towne called Buckstahoo it is a little walled towne and stands on the other side of the Riuer 3. miles as they cal it from Hamburgh The boat we passed in is called an Iuar not so good as a Grauel end barge yet I thinke it be as great the three miles longer then from London to Grauel-end for I am sure that we were going 9. houres before we could be Landed Our passage cost vs 3. pence a peece and one thing I remember well that the lazie water men will si stâ—ll all or the most part of the way whilst theiâ— Passengers be they neuer so rich or poore all is one to them be they men or women they must rowe by turnes an houre or such a matter and we landed in the night at a place called Crants where al the passengers were to go to Supper
goe where they would And prayed them from his throat to loose their held Some of the to townesmen did intreat them there That they their barbarous basenesse would forbeare But all intreaty was like oyle to fire Not quench'd but more inflam'd the scuruy Squire Then they fresh began to bale and teare Like mungreâ—â— Mastiffes on a little Beare Leauing kind Thompson neither foote or fist Nor any limb or member to resist Who being thus apprest with eds and might Most valiant with his teeth began to bite Some by the fingers others by the thumbs He fang'd within the cercust of his gummes Great pitty's was his chaps did neuer close On the halfe Constables cheekes eares or nose His seruice had deseru'd reward to haue If he had mark'd the peasant for a Knaue Yet all that labour had away beene throwne Through towne and Country he 's already knowne His prisoner he did beat and spurn'd and kick'd He search'd his pockets I le not say he pick'd And finding as he said no many there To heare how then the Bellweather did sweare And almost tearing Thompson into quarters Bound both his hands behind him with his garters And after in their rude robustians rags Tide both his feet and cast him in the Cage There all night be remained in louzis litter Which for the Constable had beene much fitter Or for some vagaband that 's sprung from Caine. Some Rogue orrunnagate should there haue laine And not a Gentleman that 's well descended That did no hurt nor any harme intended But for a bonfire in sit time and place Tobee abus'd and vs'd thus beastly base There did I leaue him tell the merrow day And how be scap'd their hands I cannot say This piece of Officer this nasty parch Whose vnderstanding sleepes out many a Watch â—like a a towne bull roaring up and downe Saying that we had meant to fire the towne And thus she Diuell his Master did deuise To baulster out his late abuse with lyes So all the street downe as I past along The people all about me in a throng Calling me villaine traitor rogue and thiefe Saying that I to fire their towne was chiefe There â—â— wrongs as patient as I might Vowing my pen should ease me when I write Like to a grumbling cur that sleepes on hay Eates none himselfe driues other beasts away So this same fellow would not once expresse Vnto his Prince a subiects ioyfulnesse But cause we did attempt at as you see Himrsson'd Thompson and thus slandered me Thus hauing cas'd my much inceused muse I craue the reader this one fault excuse For hauing vrg'd his patience all this some With such a scarâ—y Subiect and warse rims And thou Graues-endian officer take this And the â—â—â— thy selfe for all that written is 'T is not against the towns this tale I tell For sure there doth some honest people dwell But against thee thou Fiend is shape of man By whom this beastly outrage first began Which I could doe no lesse but let thee know And pay thee truely wâ—at I long did owe And now all 's euen betwixt thou and I Then farewell and be hang'd that 's twice God bwye The first letters of his names are R L and his full name being â—â—agramatiz'd is a A Trobeler a trobeler he was to mee and so I feare he hath beene to my Reader Sunday the 26. August of wee set sayle from Graus end and with various win les same large and some scarce we happily past the Seas and layled vp the Riuer of Maze by the Brill and on the Wednesday following I arriued at Roterdam in Holland at which time the worthy Regiment of the right honourable Colonell Sir Horace veere and the two noble Earles O Essex and Oxford departed from thence in Marâ—â—ll Equipage toward the Pallatinate Country whose Heroick and Mignanimous endeauours I beseech the Lord of Hosts and God of battels to direct and blesse The same day I went to the Hage and from thence to Leiden where I lodged all night and the morrow being Thursday the 30. of August I sayled from Leyden to Amsterdam where I saw many things worthy the noting but because they are so neere and frequent to many of our Nation I omit to relate them to auoid tediousnes but on the Friday at night I got passage from thence toward Hambrogh in a small hoy in the which we were weather-beaten at Sea three dayes and nights before we arriued there Saturday the eighth of September I left Hambrogh and being carried day and night in Waggons on the Monday night following I came to an ancient towne called Heldeshim it standeth in Brunswicke Land and yet it belongeth to the Byshop oâ— Collin where I did obserue in their Doome Kirke or Cathedral Church a Crowne of siluer 80 foote in Compasse hanged vp in the body of the Church in the circuit of which crowne were placed 160. waxe Candles the which at Festiuall dayes or at the celebration of some high Ceremonies are lighted to lighten their darkenesse or their ignorance chuse yee whether Moreouer there I saw a siluer Bell in their Steeple of thirty pound weight and the Leades of their steeple shining and sparkeling with the Sunne beames they did affirme to mee to bee gold the truth of which I am doubtfull of In this towne I stayed foure dayes and on Friday the 14. of September I went sixe Dutch miles to the strong towne of Brunswicke where by reason of my short stay which was but two houres I obserued nothing worthy of memory but their triple Wals and double Ditches there artillery and fortifications which they thinke to be impregnable besides there I saw an old house of the Duke of Brunswicke with the statue of a golden Lyon of a great bignesse standing aloft vpon a Piller with the broken Wals and houses which the Dukes Canon hath left there sixe yeares since as tokens and badges of his fury and their rebellion From thence on the morrow I went one Dutch mile further to an ancient towne called Wolfunbottle where the Duke of Brunswicke keepes his Court in the which I and my fellow could get no further admittance then ouer a bridge into his outtermost or base Court for his Souldiers seeing vs with Swords and Pistols were fearefull belike that wee would haue taken the fortresse from them and therefore though we were but two Englishmen yet they durst not let vs enter which made me call to remembrance the frequent and dayly Egresse and Regresse that all people haue to his Maiesties Court of Great Britaine where none that are of any good fashion and aspect are debat'd entrance when those inferiour Princeshouses are guarded with hungry Halberdiers and reuurend rusty bil-men with a brace or two of hot-shots so that their Pallaces are more like Prisons then the free and Noble Courts of Commanding Potentates After two dayes entertainment at Wolfunbotle with an English Marchant residing there of good fame and credit named