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A68044 Cornu-copiƦ, Pasquils night-cap: or, Antidot for the head-ache Fennor, William.; Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626?, attributed name. 1612 (1612) STC 10782.5; ESTC S104717 62,177 134

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would heare him speake he did beseech I cannot tell quoth he to what intent You hold this strong and needlesse argument For manie idle wordes may breed confusion But neuer bring these matters to conclusion The case is thus Our daughter you haue married VVithout our leaue our liking and consent And therefore if she chance to haue miscarried It is your iust deserued punishment If we had been the makers of this match You might haue said we did you conicatch But since it was your worke against our minde You must be pleas'd to take such as you finde I speake not this because that I doe thinke My daughter hath plaid false and done you wrong But for to let you know that you must drinke As you haue bru'd bee it small or strong Besides the fault if that she haue offended Against your person cannot be intended Because the damage trespas and transgression Was done before that you were in possession Likewise the Lawes of Holie Church doe binde And fast combine you during all your life So that no fault which at the first you finde Is cause sufficient to diuorce your wife For by the Priest you vnder-went this curse To haue and hold for better and for worse Then sure by law you neuer can forsake her With all her faults perforce you needs must take her And neuer grudge to take her for your Mate For she deserues your loue I can you tell She might haue had your betters in estate And left them all because she lou'd you well And for her honestie I now dare sweare She is as honest as her mother here It is but some conceit which feare hath bred That thus with iealousie doth fill your head Here Take her loue her and God giue you ioy And you shall haue 300. pound in hand And after we are dead you shall enioy Our house our goods our monie and our land And if you thinke that Kate hath you beguild And therefore doe repine to keepe the child Send it to vs And we will entertaine it And at our proper charges will maintaine it When these good motions Hercules did heare Allthough at first he seemed discontent Yet at the last all thinges concluded were And he well pleas'd with their arbitrement And thus you see how Kate herselfe behaued Whereby her name and credit might be saued How Hercules is wiu'd and well befriended And all parts pleas'd and thus my Tale his ended But from this storie which I late haue told Some few short obseruations let vs gather First how the Cittizen for loue of gold An others child was willing for to father Whereby we may discerne the seruile minde Of many Cittizens in this same kinde That for desire of profit will not shrinke At such small faultes and greater for to winke Yea some of them are so in loue with monie Or else so couetous to haue Hornes budding That to allure great Beares vnto their honie And hungrie dogs vnto a dirtie pudding They will not sticke to make their wiues a Stale To drawe on Customers for better sale And vnto some it is the surest prop To haue a handsome woman keepe their shop And this is one great reason I suppose That in great Townes so many Cuckolds swarme For when a Woman beautious as a Rose Sits in her shop the passengers to charme Like to a Ship in tempests doth she flir In danger euer minute to be split And though she doth escape both rockes sand Yet is not safe vntill she come to land For after all these stormy gustes are past And windes are husht and seas are calme and still On subtile Syrens she may fall at last VVhose smiles are wiles whose kindest lookes do kil Besides on cruell Pirats she may light And be encountred in the darke of night And though a while she fight yet ten to one Some cānon shootes her through then shee 's gone Euen so a Cittizen that sets his wife A publique lodestone to attract mens eies Doth vnto danger leaue her honest life Amongst both Syrens stormes and Pyracies And therefore if that some be Cuckolds named Onely themselues I thinke are to be blamed For notwithstanding all their shops pretence They are the Bawdes vnto their wiues offence Yea some of them as though this were too little To hood the forked corners of their head Allthough they know their wiues are fraile brittle And apt into temptations to be led Yet vnto Tauernes spectacles and Plaies And to the Court vpon the solemne daies They will conuoy them verie faire and quaint As though a woman were an earthly Saint And yet mistake not for I will not say But manie of them are both chast and pure Yet those are meanes to make them run a stray For golden booties soone doe theeues allure And yet they need no winde to blow the fire For they are hot euen of their owne desire And some of them though kept with key lock VVill graft a horne-thorne tree vpon your stocke A well-conceited fiction I haue read Among the Stories which old Poets framed Of one that had within his carefull head An hundred eyes and he was Argus named And yet for all his eyes which neuer closed But euermore to watching were disposed One silly woman he could hardly keepe For whiles he slept but once she playd bo-peepe Oh what deceitfull trickes haue women kinde When they intend their lust to satisfie How boundlesse and vnsatiate is their minde When they are bent to lawlesse luxurie How brittle fickle wauering false and fraile Like to a wether-cocke still turning taile So that to write their faults who doth intend May well begin but nere shall make an end But why should I complaine of letchery Or presse bad wiues with such an exclamation Since they vphold the state of Cuckoldrie And are the pillars of that ordination If that the fruit be good no cause I see Why we should fault or discommend the tree Or by our malice seeke the mans disgrace Which by his cunning graft it in that place The end is all the prouerbe old doth say And doth approue or disallow each thing Nor do the causes wander much astray Which to a good conclusion matters bring If that a woman somewhat tread awry And follow sports of lust and venery Why should we blame her since she doth pretend Her husbands good and credit in the end What reason haue I then may some suppose To raile at woemen in this bitter manner If wiues were true and free from secret blowes How should their husbāds purchase such an honor If that a Cuckold be so braue a name They rather merit praise then any blame And thus will Momus snarling brood complaine What late I prais'd I now dispraise againe Well could I wish the world were at that stay And euery woman of so honest carriage That hornes which now beare such a mighty sway Might be exil'd the bonds of lawfull marriage But since this fortune hath
beare This I resolue though yet I doe not marrie My maiden-head I will not longer carrie Thus courteous Kate decreed and euen the best Oft times about her yeares are so inclin'd For their virginitie doth so molest And is so great a burthen to their minde That scarse a maid so soone as she hath skill But keepes her maiden-head against her will And verie many of them I haue seene For grief thereof grow sicklie and looke greene But Kate had vow'd that sicknesse to preuent And not to lead old grinning Apes in hell And therefore she betimes to Phisicke went The causes of that maladie to quell And tasting of some drugges within a corner Which first were ministred by th' captain Horner She lik'd so well th' Apoticaries stuff That she did thinke she nere should haue enough This Captaine Horner sometimes loued Kate And she likewise good will to him did carrie But priuate quarrells stirring vp debate Mine Hostesse was vnwilling she should marrie And therefore he for feare they should him mock Gaue Kate her farewell with a priuate knocke Of which kind blow she tooke so good a liking That al were welcome which would sal to striking Behold a womans vnrestrained thirst Her greedy appetite and great desire After that she hath broke the hedge at first And tasted of the fruite which all require Her minde is so vnbounded without measure That she in neuer satisfied with pleasure But still like to the graue for more doth cry Or like the horse-leach which is euer dry In such a gaping case was wanton Kate After that she had tasted of the potions VVhich Doctor Captaine Horner gaue her late To bridle and represse her youthfull motions For though she did desire to drinke before Yet now her thirst increased ten times more For after we haue found the sweete of sinne VVee worse refraine then when we did beginne Thus Kate gaue bridle to her liberty And when occasion serued made not dainty For shee had put her selfe in ieopardy To try the battell at the least with twenty And she was growne so skilfull in her play That very few went conquerors away But they that with so many haue about Shall sometimes haue the worst I make no doubt 'T is bad in sickenesse to haue diuers Doctors Their sundry medicines will but make thee worse In law'tis foolish to fee many Proctors For some will harme thy cause and hurt thy purse So 't is no wisedome in a wanton maide To vse her pleasures as a common trade And make her pastimes like her occupation VVhich were inuented for her recreation So long the pitcher home doth water fetch That by some knocke it broken doth returne So long the flye doth at the candle cletch That in conclusion shee her wings doth burne So long a wench may Physicke vse to take To cure the griping of her belly-ake That she may surfet in such dangerous case As she will be the worse a twelue-months space Thus it befell to Kate that was so frolicke Her bucket now was broken at the well Shee now complain'd that shee had got the collicke And maruailed much to see her belly swell Her mother gaue her drinkes and with a charme Did clap the pot-lid to her belly warme To kill the wormes But all her meanes are vaine They are no wormes that put her to such paine Sometimes about the stomacke griefe she feeles And sometimes of her backe shee doth complaine Sometimes a quicke thing in her with two heeles She thinkes doth stirre which maks her feare againe She is with child but yet she doth not know For it may be her guts that tumble so Or it may be with fatnesse and with winde That she growes big before and broad behind But now she did beginne to long for Cherries For Codlings Pescodes and for Apple-pies And now she faine would eate some Gooseberries And euery thing which came before her eyes Or others told her of or she could name She still desired for to taste the same So that the Mother seeing this effect Somewhat began her daughter to suspect And one day taking Katherine aside Into the Parlour or some priuate place She gan to tell her that she had espide Both by the change of coulour in her face And by her longing for so many things And by the griping which her stomacke wrings That somewhat in her body was amisse And therefore Kate come tell me what it is Tell me quoth she and do not hide thy fault And if thou hast offended let me know it 'T is hard before a Cripple for to halt For I perceiue although thou wilt not shew it That thou hast bene too busy with a man And art with child deny it if thou can Tell me for though we cannot helpe the same Yet by preuention we may hide thy shame Kate which knew well her Mother was too wise To be dissembled with in such a case Thought it was bootlesse for to blind her eies VVhich could discerne her folly by her face And therefore on her knees she fell before her And for remission did with teares implore her And since deniall could no comfort bring She plainely told her Mother euery thing And first she told her how that Captaine Horner Before he trauail'd to the New-found Land By chance did meete her in a secret corner And prest her for a souldier of his band And how that diuers other men of Armes Besieg'd her afterwards with fresh alarm's But who had blowne her vp and made her swell Mother quoth she in truth I cannot tell Now Benedicite her Mother said And hast thou bene already such a Twigger I durst haue sworne thou hadst bene yet a Maid And would'st haue bene so till thou hadst bin bigger Art thou begot with child and can'st not gather Out of so many one to be the father Nor any but the Captaine can'st thou name Which long since went to sea Now fy for shame With that she shooke her head and bent her brows As if she had bene angry when behold Mine Host comes in to whom mine Hostesse shewes Their daughters sad mischance as hath bene told Which when hee heard setting his cap aside He was so angry that he could not chide At last he said And hath she plaid the whoore Fy on her Baggage turne her out of dore Mine Hostesse seeing him to grow so hot Stept out and spake to him with speeches milde Desiring him although there were a blot He would remember that she was their child And not to cast her off for one fault past For neither is she first nor will be last Of good mens children sure I thinke as shee That in their youth offend in this degree But husband quoth she 't is no time to brawle Wee all haue faults and need for to amend The deed is done and wordes cannot recall That which is past nor bring it to an end Many that now seemes honest in their liues Haue done as much before that they
and contrition Vpon her knees for pardon made petition Desiring them since her offence was past They would forgiue her and forget at last Married I am quoth shee and would to God That I could truly say I were not married But till repentance whip vs with her rod With headstrong youthfull wills we are so carried We cannot turne vntill too late we finde Our selues nto your selues are most vnkinde And yet how blest and happie were my state Now to repent if it were not to late But I am tied to such a crabbed Clowne That all this Cittie scarce hath such a fellow For he doth nothing else but lowre and frowne And hath his hose allreadie died in yellow Because I breed he twits me with a crime And saith I am with child before my time And though I left you all by his perswasion He meanes to cast me off by this occasion Herewith a dropping showre of trickling teares As most of them haue weeping at command Did stop her speach And Hercules appeares Which in the next roome all this while did stand With whom mine Hostesse in great rage choler Seeming much mou'd to see her daughters dolour In hastie manner did begin to chide That so vnkindly he had vs'd his Bride And hath our daughter against our intent Made choice said shee of such a froward mate Hath she without our liking and consent Preferring your good will before our hate Left all her friends and gone with you away And in this sort doe you her loue repay Now doubtlesse she hath made a goodlie match Fishing so faire at length a Frog to catch What she hath caught in fishing he replied May by her bellie quickly be perceiued But for my part it cannot be denied But with a Frog or worse I am deceiued Yet howsoere a Frog fall to my share Because in fishing I did not beware Since that the Frog too soone doth multiplie I le neither keepe the Frog nor yet her frie. The simple truth is this I doe not meane To stile an others bastard by my name He which did till the furrowes let him gleane And reape the crop that growes vpon the same Your daughter is with child and I doe finde That by no meanes it can be of my kinde Therefore I am resolu'd let come what may Within my house she shall no longer stay Sir said mine Hostesse if that she were cleare I would thinke scorne to pin her on your sleeue But since she is with child as you doe feare And ye are married though without our leaue Whether that you be willing or else loth You shall maintaine and patronize them both For I am sure you wed not to the halfe Yours is the Cow and you shall keepe the calfe She is with child you say and what of that 'T is none of yours you thinke how can you proue it I say if that she be with child it 's flat That you must father keepe protect and loue it But 't is not yet a month since you were married And therefore you suppose she hath miscaried But giue me leaue to say you are deceiu'd For diuers in lesse time haue been conceiu'd You are too yong as yet and much to seeke What to these woemens matters doth belong You thinke vnlesse she goe full fortie weeke That she hath plaied you false and done you wrong Alas goodmen how cunning you will be In your wiues childing and deliuerie Before you scarce know how to get a child You will keepe reconing lest you be beguil'd To see the child begotten is your part It is your wiues to bring them forth in season It shewes a iealous and suspitious heart How long or short they reckon for to reason Neuer was man with child And therefore no man Can tell those thinges so truly as a woman And therefore to your proofe I make deniall Since by report you speake and not by triall Some foole or grosse Physition brought to light This fond opinion first of fourtie weekes But I will shew by arguments aright That this opinion is not worth two leekes For though in ancient times it might be true Yet in the yeares and ages that ensue It still should hold is no found inference As I will shew by good experience In former Ages when the world began And that dame Nature was in her full strength The time of life appointed vnto man Nine hundred and odde yeares was then in length Then wiues had time to breed as writers tell And tooke more leisure for to doe thinges well Their children were far greater large stronger Which was the cause that they accounted longer For then a child but newly come to light Lying in cloutes vpon his Nurses knee Was euerie way as great in outward sight As now at 20. yeares a man can bee And therefore such great children must by reason Vnto their birth require a longer season Then doe out little silly Pigmie brats Which in respect of them are but like Rats An other instance likewise doth me moue Which much auaileth for this truths discerning When our forefathers first began to loue And generations art was but in learning Men were not halfe so skillfull in the Trade As now by long experience they are made And therefore shorter time will serue I hold To bring forth children now then did of old Againe dame Nature is more fertile growne Then erst she wonted for to be of yore Twice in a yeare you see some meadowes mowne And trees to bring forth fruit not seene before Twice in a yeare some Ewes doe multiplie And more then twice some creatures fructifie And diuers wiues whose faith wants no excuse Three or 4. children at one birth produce In ancient time full 40. weekes did need Because their babes were of a larger size But now dame Nature making better speed A great deale shorter time doth well suffize For manie woemen after they are wed In lesse them 20. weekes are brought a bed And some in ten and some in more some lesse According to their kind and fruitfullnesse And which his yet more strange then all the rest But not so strange as true I knowe a wife That was esteem'd as honest as the best And true vnto her husband all her life Which ere a moneth was fully past and done After the wedding had a goodlie sonne And yet I know her husband will be sworne The child was his allthough so quickly borne And therefore if you meane to liue in quiet It is your best to make no further trouble The child is yours It bootes not to denie it And you the father though she carrie double Well answered Hercules I doe not meane To keepe a bastard and anothers Queane Good wordes said she then the harme is small You must and shall and ther 's an end of all VVhen as mine Host did heare them grow so hot VVhich all this while stood silent without speach VVith milder wordes as they had laid the plot That they