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A53929 Advice to Balam's ass, or, Momus catechised in answer to a certaine scurrilous and abusive scribler, one John Heydon, author of Advice to a daughter / by T.P., Gent. Pecke, Thomas, b. 1637. 1658 (1658) Wing P1039; ESTC R7861 22,600 69

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Justifications of themselves which I suppose never made An understanding man A Convert One of Regal Dignity desired not to trouble His Son with the Acquisition of any other Learning but the neat Art of Dissimulation And AEsop's Cat knew no greater allurement to destructive Security then the making A League with the Credulous Mice Yet the syncere Lovers of Government are content to receive excuses from their Common Fathers Without A rigid examination of their Validity 13 If this please you pay your Thanks to the Urn of Sir Walter Rawleigh from whom Pardon my audacitie I a little dissent in one particular beginning Line the seventh For t is frequently seen that Age consolidates that Friend-ship which was begun young and makes that to become syncere which had first peradventure had no stronger Conglutination then A plausible complyance in youthfull vanities 15 I answer you mildly where you do not abuse Ladies and Gentlewomen And I for my part Mr. Heydon delight not in arguing any thing blame-worthy which may deserve a favourable construction and therefore as you may oft observe I shall requite a minim of Modesty by my Pens leaping over this fifteenth Para without a crosse Dash of Correption 16 Praise not your Selfe except you will be counted a vain glorious Foole neitake delight in the Praises of other Men except you deserve it Your Daughters may retort upon you as the young Crabb did upon his Mother reprehending Him for retrogradation I shall follow if you set Me an example 18 I hate a Coward So do I and yet I know that I should be voted worthy of Death by the Councell of Warre belonging to the Lord of Hostes if I should engage my Enemy before Divinity as Generall and Prudence as my Captain give the Word 20 I have perused this head and finde experience ready to attest the truth of your Adversaries advice And therefore I adjudge him an English Knave that squirts aagainst him an opprobrius scoffe in denominating him Don Guzman the Spanish Rogue 23 This is very Poetical if Fiction suffice And A mynsterious Hirmos guarded with an Army of Hyperbolies commonstrate that He is Cousin Germin not above nine times removed to a Rhetorician As for the charge you exhibit against your subtil Proteus in excilling the Chamaelion by the assumption of whitenesse you your selfe may if fame and certainty have drunk to one another the Poculum Charitatis excell the Camaelion in his unacquainted Red For although Nappy Ale seldome displies the pockets Or yet it often blasons the Nose Gules 30 Take heed how you manage A bad Cause for your Client Take heed likewise how you manage A good Cause for your Client Negligent Remisnesse is many times Mother of as mischievous Events as down right Knavery A good advocate sets all his wits upon the Tenter-hookes that his Clients Cause may not be overturn'd by the boysterous winds of his opposing Brothers A confident Pleader is well nigh sure to crown A good Cause with conquest when A bad Cause if the Judges Head hath a shelfe for St. Austin as well as for Sir Edward Cook I mean is both Learned and Consciencious shall make A bad Market Although fringed with the most select Rhetoricall Raptures and burnisht with an undaunted impudency Our times would prove Halcion dayes if every Gentleman dignified with the long Robe did but intently ruminate upon Christ's precept and King Iames his motto Beati Pacifici neither can we totally attribute it to the Lawyers Breath that the sparks of discencion are cherist into destructive Flames The impetuous vulgar seemes resolv'd to blow up their own estates with the restlesse prosecution of Revenge And that contention many times devours whole estates besides the tedious exactation of many yeares patience as if poverty were so coy that She requires such obsequious Servants and necessity must needs be Treated at such vast expence which by two Judicious and impartiall arbitrators might have been compos'd and ended for the honest Corydon in little more time then He takes to bounce on his Leather Array when the shrill Song of a pusillanimous Cock hurries him away to Plough I shall commend to Lawyers serious thoughts as an Amulet against Covetousnesse their capital Crime A Quaere of more concernment then any to be found in Dyer which himselfe puts Math. 16. verse 26. What is A Man profited if He shall gaine the whole world and lose his owne Soule or what shall A Man give in Exchange for His Soule To the Comminality I shall prescribe Arbitration as the most Speedy and Soveraign emplaster to heale their Wonndes whither in Good-name Body or Estate And never Trot to Westminster Hall unlesse irreconcilable Oppression and violent Necessity serve yee with A Sub Paena 34 Princes words are as good as their Oaths for they are both Trifles I answer A Noble-mans protestation is lookt upon by the Eye of the Law as aequipollent to the Oath of An inferior person If the unanimous Reason of A numerous Assembly of Wise Men thus aporov'd the Starres what may We conjecture of the Sun If Honour can equitably plead A general comprobation much more may the lustre of Words of Oaths which can vouch Majestie be conceived abudantly able to expell the Mists of unbeleefe praejudice and such grosse Calumnyes as yours That they are both Trifles 36 A Rosacrutian sometimes to my knowledges loses Himselfe in the World c. T is great pitty you speak experimentally Alasse it was for want of that profound Science published by Heydon and mentioned Pa. 114. to converse with their Genius or Angell in A corporeal Shape who knowes but he might have rounded Him in the Eare and taught how to extricate Himselfe out of the fallacious Labyrinths of Humane Machinations RELIGION Para 3. I do not think the greatest Clerks are nearest Heaven much of their Learning is superfluous Since England was made A Goshen by the distinguishing light of refined Religion whilest some of her neighbour Nations were left groping and stumbling in the langible darkenesse of Error and Superstition Scholers have not as I may say Monopolized Heaven But the unlearned can understand God speaking in their owne language by the mouth of His holy Word Let Agrippa write de vanitate Scientiarum to prove that Every Science hath its mixture of vanity Onely Ignorance the profest Enemy of the Muses dares take up the Gantlet against this Truth That Men polisht with Literature are more adapted to serve God and their Countrey and to become Vessels of the Sanctuary then the knotty Blocks of common Capacities which never were so happy as to meet with the Plainer of Education But although this is confest yet let those brave Souls whose Victories over the most crabbed and disheartning Sciences have merited Statues upon the Ambitious Brow of Parnassus take this as A Memento that God is no respect or of Persons And Pride that tumbled Angells out shall exclude from Heaven Man who is but Dust and
steale whole Characters makes one serve to stop three Vacuities Para. 18. 19. and 24. fie fie you drive but a pittifull Trade 25 Innes are dangerous if Men be not carefull Ay and carefulnesse too is farre short as to warranting security from the Theevish contrivances of A whole Familie not seldom trained up from their Cradle in such excercises 25 By not calling Servants to an account I my selfe have lost more thereby then I am worth Our Author was A Gentleman of Quality and Estate in the Golden Age and I believe much about that time kept great Store of servants Onely perhaps the Fallacie lies here that as much as He is worth may quickly be lost But if you dont like that Solution I can reconcile his words to Truth another way as thus our Author makes use of A Prosopopaeia And so 't is not He to his Daughters but Sir Walter Rawleigh to His Son that secures Truth and fills this twenty fifth Paragraph 27 Bestow your Youth in Travelling that you may have comfort to Remember it when past Yes yes by all meanes put your Daughters in breeches instead of Petticoats And Saylors Frocks instead of Gownes And let them Ramp through Greece AEgypt Arabia Part of Africa Italy Spaine France and Germanie which their Father did trash over if you list to beleeve Him Pa. 104. But no mote of that let Him who hath Travelled so many Kingdomes answer this Dilemma This and severall other improper Passages in your Booke are either Advice to A Daughter or to a Son if to A Daughter why do you foolishly and impertinently put Hercules Clubbe into the Hand of An Omphale by giving Advice to A Daughter concerning Travell when the greatest Commendation of A Woman is to keepe the House and not to Travell further then Duty if you view Her as A Daughter and coniugal obedience if A Wife commands or the Poverty of Her Neighbour implores On the other side if your directions be onely proper to A Son why bears your Book this Inscription and Title Advice unto A Daughter To the men READERS concerning WOMEN Now Mens Heades are broke there is A kind Gentleman will afford them An Emplaster I meane the very same that blazons Himselfe by the name of Mr. Heydon Pa. 111. This Gentleman of his own dubbing there mentions A Book of his which He calls the Rosacrutian Method of Physick but I shall referre no man thither to transcribe a Receit for the procuring Content since He may consult these words in the next Leafe Therefore if you cannot forbeare to Love forbeare to Link His Reason is because after a while you shall finde an alteration in your Selfe and see another farre more pleasing then the second or third Love A wise Reason that may onely expect the Suffrage of the Bestial part of A Man By long smelling to A Rose my satiated Sence strives to make Me credulous that the Rose is not so odoriferous as at first But my reason quickly discovers the deceit So by often repetition the chast embracers of A Loving Wife may happen to be nauseated And the Brutall Appetite promises Her self Pleasure in a change but then In wise Men especially Reason comes in as Umpire and Evinces that A moderate cessation will be as Sauce to whett Scaligers sixth Sence regard we pleasure And what can be more dear to Vertue then Two Soules or rather one perpetually engaged to mutuall respect and the sweet reciprocation of Matrimoniall affection From their Talke you may inferre that their Heads are not troubled with foundding of Tyrannies Nothing is more undecent and distastfull then that A Woman should act the part of an Eagle and domineer over her Iron yet sometimes We see that the Husband hath onely the name of Master whilest the Wife exercises A Tyrannicall Monarchy over the familie It is most fit that since Women bring forth Children they should have the rule over them when they are brought up I deny that unlesse they want A Father for if the Mother who is better then Her Children considered as A concurrent cause to their Being is obliged by right Reason to be ruled by her Husband it is irrationall She should Challenge his Prerogative to rule over them unlesse as A Deputy under Him 4 Government Severall Sections at the beginning if Candor be their Advocate may endure the test they being rather A Stragling Comentary then A refutation Therefore we shall leap over the foure first Mole Hils without leaving the foot steps of our Disdaine 5 Para. The Graecians gave great Gifts and divine Honours to those that kill'd Tyrants I answer T is true Liberty is the Darling of the Universe and hath had such A confirm'd Empire in the Hearts of every Man that few are so pusillanimous as not to dare to encounter manifest Disadvantages and the most Astonishing Remora in defence of this their great Diana Nay not those alone whose Soules are enlightened by the Caelestiall Raies of Reason But the very Beasts whose entitie is one way or other to be serviceable to their great Lord Man do shew either a more secret or violent reluctancy against the ungratefull yoake of Servitude The Lyon by His Roring is his owne Herald to proclaime Warre against his Jaylor And the Innocent Linnet which ravishes our jocund Eares with the sweet and Harmonious Agitation of his little Throat will notwithstanding ransack the upper and lower roomes of his nauseated Cage and seeme by A melancholy posture to insinuate discontent because he is prohibited the enjoyment of chirping Revels which His warbling Kindred daunce on the contiguous Bushes It was therefore venial in the ettimicks who had second Causes for their Hemisphere and were not assisted by divine Benignity to take the Altitude of Providence to reward them with the triumphal Laurell who nefariously had died their own Robes Purple in A Tyrants Blood But Xtians who shall not need to consult deluding Delphos with the blind-fold Heathen but may enquire at the sacred Oracles of God's most holy Word shall not finde their affected Ignorance a satisfactory Apologie if they understand not that God permits as well A Ieroboam for A Scourge to chastice refractory Israel as sends a Iosiah for a consolation to God's peculiar People The result of all is that t is the greatest Liberty to obey Lawfull Authority and to use no other Weapons against the supreme Power suppose it tyrannicall but heaping Coales of fire upon its Head by the Evangelicall Stratagem of forgivenesse and Prayer 8 This learned Gentleman c. Who is this learned Shentle man Learned is the received compellation of Grotius What i st he Oh no 't is the Learned Mr. Heydon But I thinke our Author who is well known to be an intimate Acquaintance of His can't prove his words no not although he had the stout and approved Duellists Barbara Celarent Darij Ferio to be His Seconds 12 I have often wondred with my Selfe what should move Governours to Print