common woman or as they terme them a good fellow And likewise Pompeius that ouercame welnigh the whole world had an incontinent Lady to his wife Cato also which was called Censorinus married a very baggage of a meane parentage yet was she a shrew and a whore and that more strange is proud and saucy to her Lord and husband Iustinus the abridger of Torgus Pompeus writeth that when Grippus which was sun to Deme. had recouered his Fathers dominions had quite ended al forrein dangers he was afterward assaulted by the treason of his owne gréedy mother Who for the desire that shee had to reigne hauing betrayed one of her sunnes and by that horible déede puttinge of all motherly affection supposed now that her dignitie and honour was mutch embased by the conquest and renowme of her other child Wherefore vpon a time she watched opportunity and preparing a cup of deadly poyson presented him therewith when he came hot and thirsty from exercise But her attempt tooke contrary effect For Grippus as it were offeringe dutyfull courtesie to his mother desired her to begin vnto hym At the last he vrged her so far that he found out great proofes of her purpose wherewith the Quéene béeing ouercome and turning the mischeif vnto her self died with the poysoned potion which she had prouided for her sunne Chap. 29 Of maried Weemen VAlerius writeth in the fourth booke and third Chapter that when Iulia who was daughter vnto Caesar wife to Pompeius the great beehelde her Lorde and Husbandes Gowne brought home all bloody out of the féelde beinge stroken with sudden feare that some violence had befallen vnto him fell downe in a swonde and was delyuered of Childe beefore her time not with out great losse and detriment of the whole Empire And Cecilius Balbus in the place before recited writeth a storie of a certen man whose name was Damelius to whom a companion of his obiected that he had a stinking breath TheÌ„ departed he home vnto his Wife discontented chiding with her for not telling him therof before TheÌ„ his wife said surely I would haue done so quod she but that I thought that al menâ— breathes had smelt in that sorte and therfore very like it is that shee had neuer ioyned her mouth vnto any other mans Valerius also writeth in the sixt booke and third chapter of Tercia Emilia the wife of Scipio African whose singuler good will and pacience toward her husband was so great that perceininge that her Lorde bare good affection vnto one of her Handmaides she dissembled the matter and would not see it for that she would not séeme to suspect or blame her Lorde of incontinency or to moue him to impaciencie which was conquerour of the worlde Yea after her Husbands decease shee made her handmaid frée and bestowed her in mariadge with one of her frée men Lykewise Sulpitia was most diligently kept by her mother Iulia because shée should not follow her husband Lentulus into Italy who was proscribed and condemned to dye Howbeit she chaunged her atire and put one the garment of a seruaunt and taking with her two Handmaides and two men stole away secretly vnto him not refusing to banish her selfe that her faith might be knowne to her condemned husband Chapter 30. Of good widowes THe word Vidua which signifieth a Widow soundeth as it were Diuisa that is to say one that is deuided and parted fom her Husband And Valerius writeth in the first booke first chap. that in the old time those wéemen that were contented with one husband once marrying were crowned with a Garland of chastyty supposing that the tasting of many and often wedlockes was a token of a certen kinde of intemperancy Saint Ierome in his woorke against Iouinianus reporteth that when Catoes Daughter had mourned foure wéekes for the death of her Husband a certen Matron demaunded of her when she would make an ende of mourning who answered when she made an ende of lyuing Likewise the same Aucthour in his booke de Anima writeth oâ—her that when on a time a frind of hers perswaded her to marry another husband since she was yet but young and her beuty fresh flouring she answered that she would not For said she if I chance to finde as good an husbaÌ„d as I had before I will not stand in feare to léese him but if hee bee éeuel what néede I to trouble myself with sutch an one And agayne in the same place when one in the presence of Porcia praysed a certen woman which had buried one husband and Married the second she answered that a good and an honest woman neuer marrieth but once And semblably Valeria which was sister vnto the Messalas after the decease of her Husbande would neuer marry agayn and béeing demaunded the cause she answered that her husband alwaies liued vnto her Arthemisia also which was Quéene and wife vnto Mausolus kinge of Caria although in respect of her fidility towards her husbands shée bee singularly commended yet is she most praysed for that shee loued her Husbande alwayes as deerely when hee was dead as if hee had bin liuing and in the honour of him shee builded a most bewtyfull and renowmed Sepulcher in so mutch that thereof all greate and sumptuous Sepulchers are called Mausolea that is to say like Mausolus monument Chap. 31. Of Virgins COncerning Virgins Saint Ierome writeth against Iouinianus that it appeareth in how great honour virgins were had among the people of Rome for asmutch as Consuls and generalles of Armes sitting in their triumphat chariots wheÌ„ they returned home with conquest ouer their enemies and finally all kinde of degrees were accustomed in meetinge them go out of the way and giue them place Nichanor when hee had ouercome and subuerted the City of Thebes was taken in the loue of a captiue virgin And desiringe her imbracinges and company in the commendable lawe of wedlocke which thing a captiue might well haue liked of hee found by triall that vnto chast mindes virginity is more deare then a kingdome Whom the louer when shee was slayne held in his owne hand lamenting his owne greif and her most miserable condition Seneca in his sixt booke of declamacions reporteth that a vestale virgin wrote these verses folowing O happy married wiues your life is fraught with ioy For that I may not taste your state I die in great anoy Against which there was alleaged an answere in this sort As one that tried hast a man thou yeeldest vp the ghost Or diest bicause thou art denide the thing thou couetst most both which thinges ought to bée farthest from a woman of that cote For vnto thée the Magistrates do cast downe their faces in token of reuerence vnto thée the Consuls and Pretors giue the vpper hande in the stréetes and it is no small callinge to bee both a virgin and a priest and that which hath bin spoken with so great affection
small the heat disperseth soone the meat ouer all the capacity therof and maketh a fantasticall fulnes so that litle meat sufficeth sutch Other some haue large stomackes and could and in that their stomackes are cold a litle meat filleth them but in that their stomackes are large they feede much and a long time Secondly which of the twayne those which haue a stronge heat or a weake are able longest to abide hunger Surely I suppose that they which haue the stronger may fast longest since for the more part sutch persons are of the stronger constitucion Howbeit this distinction is to be noted that there bée two poincts to bée considered in fasting to wit the resolution of natural heat the vtter quenching of the same the stroÌ„gest nature is able best to sustaine them both And secondly the discoÌ„modities ar to be weighed which ensue fasting of which the strongest nature sustayneth moe then dooth the weake Thirdly how chanceth it that those whose powers be small and narrowe can abide honger better then they which haue wider Bicause through wide and large pores the body is more aboundantly resolued lesse through the narrowe and small pores wherfore the remayneth which should prouoke appetite Fourthly doth choler nourish or not vnto this demaunde wee answere that although Galen and Isaac say that it nourisheth not bicause blood onely nourisheth yet Auicen holdeth opinion that choler nourisheth also which two opinions of singular learned men we must make to agrée after this maner Ther are two sortes of choler wherof the one which is conteined within the gall cannot nourish the other necessarely concurreth with the blood wherwith the partes of the bodye which are of a cholerick constitution are as well nourished as the sanguine partes are with the blood Fyfthly whether can the sicke or the whole best indure hunger Some hold opinion that the sicke can bicause naturall heat in a sicke person is busie in resoluing mo fumosities breathes and vapours rising from the humours then in an whole person Howbeit this reason is weake first bicause there can bée no partes nourished nor spirites engendred by corrupt humours and secondly if this were so then shoulde there bée moe spirites in a sicke body then in an whole and bicause the spirits are the carriers of the powers and streÌ„gth into althe parts the sicke should bée stronger then the whole which is euidently false But to growe to the purpose wée answere that whereas the sicke tollerateth hunger better then the whole person there are thrée causes to bée giuen the fist is bicause nature is occupied about the sicknes and the cause therof the second for that the partes of the body are infected and cheaked with the corrupt matter and therfore do not desire nutriment and the third is bicause the strength of the sicke party béeinge as it were layd a sléepe and weakned â—auseth them to haue no appetite vnto meat Sixtly whether in the force of a strong or weake stomacke best able to abide hunger The force of a strong stomack desireth most but it may best sustaine forbearing of meate and contrariwise the appetite of a weake stomack looketh lesse for meat is not so well able to abide delay from it Seuenthly which of the twayn is best able to indure hunger hee that is accustomed to eate much meat or litle It may bee answered that hée that vseth to eate much meat may best fast for by reason of his great rauening hee hath but small heate and therfore may best indure hunger so likewise contrariwise bicause of the contrary cause Eighthly whether doth fasting more grieue men in hoate or cold seasons of the yeere It is more noysome in Summer then in winter bicause the body is more resolued in Summer then it is in winter and therfore ought then to bée fead more aboundantly and very often and in winter it sufficeth to eate once in a day Ninthely why are those that feede griediestly soonest filled Hereunto wée must answere as it is writteÌ„ in the Saturnalia that they which feede griedely eate in mutch aier with their meat by reasen of their wide gapinge and often fetchinge of their breath And therfore when the veines are filled with aier the appetite is fully satisfied Tenthly wherfore are wee able to abide hoat meates and drinkes in our mouth which wee cannot for heat suffer in our handes wée answere as appeareth in the place béefore alleaged for that the naturall heat which is conteined with in the inner partes of the body is very sharpe and vehement and therfore it ouercommeth weakneth whatsoeuer other hoat substance cummeth within the mouth wherfore then when thou puttest eny extreme hot thing into thy mouth gape not wide nor fetch not thy breath in ofteÌ„ thinking therby to coole it but rather shut thy lips almost close togither to the intent that the greater heat which cuÌ„meth out of the belly may help the mouth and that greater heat ouercome the lesser as for the hand that can abide no hot thing bicause it is holpen by no other heat then is in it self The. 4. chap. conteining 7. questions SOme man may haply moue this question what is the cause that when a man which is hungry drinketh thereby he asswageth his hunger but if hee bee a thirst and eate his thirst is not therby slaked Vnto this demaund there is answere made in the Saturn â–ª that there is no impediment but that liquor may passe into euery part of the body and replenishe the veines therof But the substance of meat is more grosser and it cannot passe into the veines vntil it bee digested by litle and litle so that it cannot slake the thirst which it findeth yea rather it soketh vp the moisture which it findeth wherby thirst which is the want of moisture is more increased Secondly Such as are fasting whether bee they more an hungred then a thirst By the same place I answere that they thirst most forasmuch as naturall heat worketh continually vpon the foode and nutriment which wée receiue consuming it away Which also appeareth in children whiles they be infaÌ„ts which consume and concoct great stoare of nutriment by reason of their vehement heate But contrariwise wée perceiue how easely old men can sustaine fasting by reason of the defaute of naturall heat in them But in the middle age if naturall heat bée stirred vp with exercise it procureth a stroÌ„ger appetite vnto meat for want of naturall heat Wherfore if there bée alwaies heate in appetite moisture bée the peculiar substance wheron heat worketh if when a man is hungry hée desireth meate surely heat especiallye requireth his own nutriment which being receiued the whole body is therw t refreshed caÌ„ that lenger tary for more souÌ„der susâ—enaÌ„ce Thirdly why is it that wee conceiue more delight in drinking when wee are a thirst then in eating when wee be hungry Drinke as a substance more liquid theÌ„ meat soner perceath into the stomack
had saued mony enough to redéeme his Church lands which his predicessour had layd to morgage But he answered that he was far more liberal then his predicessour for sayd he I haue payd his debts and mine owne also A Bishop in France promised Philip the French Kynge that the first Prebend that fell in his gift he would giue it to whome soeuer it pleased the Kynge And when many fell voyde and the kyng was pleasured with none he was sore offended To whom the Bishop sent this answer desiring his grace not to be offended for he had yet giuen neuer an one of them but sould them all The Bishop of Mentz coursed an Hart and after long ruÌ„nyng the beast leapt into a deepe ponde and a greate Pike caught him fast by the throat And when the Hart came out of the water hee brought the Pike with him hanginge by his throat and so hée tooke them bothe and sent pieces of them abread for present to his friends A certain Priest was accused vnto the bishop of the Diocesse for buriyng his dead Asse solemly with Dirige Masses of Requiem And béeing much rebuked for so doing he certified the Bishop that it was a very godly Asse had made a will had bequeaâ—hed his Lordship fiue pounde which he had now brought vnto him And when the Bishop had receiued the money he said let him then rest in peace so discharged the priest A noble younge Gentlemen that was a schollar in Paris sayd that all Bishops in France were blinde bicause they gaue not som good benefice to his maister beyng but poore and well learned Not long after being himself made a Bishop he was so blinded with his spirituall promotion that he neither gaue his poore maister any thing but on a time when he came to Paris his Maister went and met him bearyng a couple of Waxe candles burnyng in his hand And when the Bishop asked him why hée did so hée answered bycause your lordship should sée mée for you are blinde A certain Bishop had many yonge Nephewes and Kinsfolkes in his house which alwaies sat at meate at a low table before him and whensoeuer any preferment fell voyde he repulsed other and bestowed it vpon one of those Then a man of worship whom the Bishop had bid to dinner set himself downe at the childrens Table And béeing demaunded by the Bishop why hée did so hée answered that hée could not be preferred sittyng at any other Table neither knew he any other then those that sat there aduanced by him vnto any dignitie Chap. 28. Of Archdeacons AN Archdeacon being in visitatioÌ„ spent whole daies in feasting making good chéere when the people looked that he should haue preached vnto them the word of god And as hee was going from hearyng Masse vnto dinner an olde woman sayd vnto him that they looked for that which was his dutie to do meaning to shew them their duties out of the word of god Well quoth the Archdeacon I will not call thée to counsell what I had best to do But shée answered surely he had small care of our soules that put them in trust to thée An Archdeacon visited his parish Church from which hée was promoted vnto the Archdeaconrie And there came vnto him an husband man to aske counsell saying M. Archdeacon I married a poore wife and now I know where I may haue a ritch one is it lawful for mée to fâ—rsake the poore one and to take the ritche The Archdeacon answered by no meanes Then said the husbandmaÌ„ but you haue forsaken a poore church and keepe a ritch Archdeaconry Which he hearing gaue vp his Archdeaconry and returned to his owne Churche A certein Priest against his Archdeacon shoulde come in visitacion hauinge none other prouision killed a litle Asse which hee had and dressed him in the stead of Veale and wheÌ„ the Archdeacon fead hungerly theron at dinner and the Priest himselfe woulde eate none the Archdeacon demaunded the cause Then quod the Priest your Mastership saith that I haue wit and learning litle ynough already and therefore I neede to eate no asses fleash When the Archdeacon heard this he arose from the table in a rage and immediatly departed chap. 29. Of Canons and their mery Iests IVlius in his booke of Bees writeth an history of one Philip that was Chancellour of Paris who hauing many benefices was in his sicknes admonished by the Bysshop to resigne theÌ„ vp for feare of longer incurring Gods displeasure who answered that hee would try the truth of that béefore the greate iudge But shortly after hee was dead hee appeared vnto the Bysshop like a shadow and sayd I most miserable wretch am damned and that cheifly for thrée causes First for my fruites which I kept from the poore Secondly for my pluralitye of benefices And lastly for my detestable whoredome Moreouer hee sayd is the world yet at an end Then quod the Bysshop I marueill that thou hauinge in thy life time beene a great clarke and seeing mee and other liuing who must all die beefore that day come shouldest aske mee that question But hee sayd marueill not at all for in hell there is neither knowlegde nor reason Maister Albertus sayd vnto a Canon of Colein which came home from the Court with a dispensation to haue many benefices Before you might haue gone to Hell without licence and now you must néedes go thither by vertue of your dispensation There was a Canon which had two Canonries one in one Church another in another the dreamed one night the two staues were reatched vnto him and the same night the bishops of both Churches died Then some of his familiars expounding his dreame said that he should be chosen bishop in both places and riding out the next day morninge he fell from his horse and brake both his legges and was faine to go with two crutches to beare himselft vp withall Chap. 30. Of the Hault and Lame ON a time there came vnto a sanctes church so many hault and Lame people to be cured that the Priest could not driue them foorth Then said the priest giue me your staues I wil heale you all And when he had them he sent for fier beinge demaunded what he would do with it Burne him that is most lambe quoth he that you may all be healed with his Asshes And when they heard this they ran all away Cap. 31. Of Priests A Certain poore lecherous Priest had a concubine whom he loued well wherof the Archedeacon hearing commanded him either to forsake his Church or to leaue his concubin But being loth to depart from his Concubine he resigned his benefice and when the harlot saw that he had nothing now to liue withall she would tarie no lenger with him and so he lost both profit and pleasure together A certein Priest had two Concubines one yonge another olde The younge bicause
third of the Politickes writeth thus whoso would haue wit and vnderstanding to gouerne saith he it semeth he would haue God and the lawes to gouerne but whoso will haue a man of himself without these to gouerne putteth a very sauedge beast in aucthoritie For when rage and lust beare sway then good men go to wrack so that vnderstanding without affection is as good as a written law Likewise Vegetius in his first booke and first chapter of the art of war it is decent for a Prince saith he that no man know mo things nor better things then he for his knowledge may profit all his subiectes and for that cause Princes ought to applie themselues to the study of wisdome Chap. 4 Of the Gentile Byshops VAlerius in his fift Booke and fift chapter writeth of Horatius Puluillus who being Bysshop and as hee was after the guise at those daies consecrating a great Church vnto Iupiter while he was pronouncing the solemne woordes holding the post in his hand woord was brought vnto him that his sunne was dead hee neither plucked his hande from the post neither changed his countinaunce from the publique religion to his priuat sorow because he would not séeme at that present to sustaine rather the person of a Father then of a Bysshop In the same place likewise he writeth of Xenophon who being offring a very solemne sacrifice it was tolde him that his eldest sunne was slaine Then did he only put of the crowne from his head demaunding of the messenger in what sort he was slaine And vnderstanding that he was killed fightinge very valiently he put the crowne vpon his head againe shewing that he tooke more ioy of his valiencie then he did greif of his vntimely death S. Ierome in the second booke against Iouinian writeth that Zenon that Stoick reporteth of the liues of the auntient priests of Egipt how that setting all worldly care and busines apart they alwaies remained in the Church searching the hid natures of things obseruing the motions of the stars They neuer companied with their wiues nor any woman nor neuer saw their children nor kinsfolks after the once they betooke theÌ„selues to diuine seruice They abstained froÌ„ eating flesh drinking wine chefly to auoid the motion to the flesh which coÌ„meth by those meats the drink They did seldome eate bread but they vsed oyle both to driue away lothsomnes and to take away the roughnes of their throats What shall I speake of foules séeing they eschewed egs and milke as fleash wherof they sayde the one was liquid fleash and the other bloud the coulour onely being chaunged They laide a footstoole vnder their heades in stéede of a pillow and fasted two or thrée daies togeather And Aristotle in the seauenth of his Politickes the Priests saith hée haue charge of althings appertaining to the God and to sée that houses bee kept vp tight in repairacions and those which bee fallen downe may be builded vp agayne and that others be appointed vnto their purposes and for this cause they bee had in reuerence Sum of these Bishops are termed by one man Princes by an other Kinges sum call them Potestates Prouosts and Maisters Sée then if the Priestes and Bysshops of the Gentiles were so religious continent and holie what ought our Christian Bisshops to be Chap. 4. Of noble Personages TVllie in his booke of olde age writeth that when a certen man in reproche saide vnto Themistocles that hee had no honour of himselfe but that all his estimacion came vnto him by reason of his cuntrey surely saide Themistocles if I were Seresius I should bee but a verlet and if thou were an Athenian thou wouldest neuer haue bin of any estimacion Cecilâ—us Balbus of the toyes of Philosophers writeth that when one a time one being borne of the race of a Senatour and at that present mutch imbased obiected to Epaminundas the vilâ—nes of his birth I am glad quoth he that I am rysen of my selfe and thou art fallen of thy selfe and wee both together are honour and dishonour Salust in the Oracion of Marius against Iugurth when one 〈◊〉 â—ery mutch in his owne conceit in respect of his owne 〈◊〉 and therfore reproched Marius basenesse although saith hâ—â— we haue one nature common vnto vs all that eueâ—â—◠〈◊〉 maâ— if he can be most valient and most noble yet if there â—â— anâ— man that despice-me let them do that which is a agréeable to their manners since the exercise of vertuous exploites is the verie beginning of mine honour They enuye at mine honour let them also enuie at my paines and mine innocency and my traueiles and my daungers for by these haue I woon it Now sée I beséech you how vniust they bée they wyll not suffer me to get that by mine owne vertue which they boast in themselues to haue bin gotten by another And because I haue no images and my Nobility is new and now first risen in my selfe which better it is to get first then to dishonour it being once gotten before As for mee in my iudgment there can no mans talke hurt mée For if they speake ill of mée my béehauiour shal declare their report to bée false The Speare and Shield Ensigne Barbed Armour for the Courser with other rewards of the Fielde and scarres in the fore parte of my body these are my Images this is my Nobilitie not left vnto me by inheritance as theirs is but gotten by mine owne aduentures and traueill And Iuuenall the Poet saith very well I rather had Thersites sun thou were so that thou might Like Pyrrhus beare Vulcanus Armes in midst of Martial fight Then if Achillus should beget one like Thersites foule A dastard wretch that could do naught but prattle scould skoule And Albertus vpon the first Booke of the Ethickes saith how it is read that the Emperour of Rome Dioclesian who gouerned that Empire very valiently was taken from among shéeperds And he is a right Gentleman saith Seneca that is naturally disposed vnto vertue Chap. 5. Of Knightes VAlerius Maximus in the third Booke and second Chapter writeth of a Knight that was Captayne of a band vnder Augustus and had geuen many a sharp shoure vnto Antonius and went away euermore with the better hand At length being taken by treason and brought prisoner to Alexandria Antonius asked hym what hee should do to him Then the Knight said commaunde mee to bee slaine quod hee for neyther with hope of life nor feare of death will I bee perswaded to forsake Caesar and serue thée Howbeit the more constantly hee despised his life so mutch the more easly hee obtained it For Antonius pardoned his life for his vertuous sake Frontinus in the fourth booke and first chapter of his warlike pollicies reporteth that when Flaccus and Varro were Consuls then were Knightes first dubbed and admitted vnto that order by an othe for before they were gouerned
And looke with what diligence they went into the warres with thesame they tilled their fieldes And ordred their land with as mutch care as they did their Camps Many times captaynes yea and whole Senates haue bin fet out of the cuntrey And now bondslaues till thesame ground and damned handes and proscribed countnances Valerius in the seuenth booke and tenth chapter telleth of Valerius Coruinus how hée béeing an hundred yéere olde and in good strength of bodye left beehind him not onely a wished example of dealing in Publique functions but also in tilling the land and all maner husbandrie And Noble Cicero in the fifte of his offices saith that among all trades wherby a man may liue ther is none to bee preferred beefore husbandrye nothing sweeter or more plentifull nor fitter for a gentleman Chap. 16. Of Handicraftes men ARistotle in his booke intitled secrets of secrets sheweth of the wonderfull operation of the influence of the Planets in the natures of men and other things by that which hapned vnto a childe the sunne of the kinge of India For when the childe his sunne was growne to some yeeres the king would haue had him brought vp in learninge for which intent hee sent him throughout all India and other Prouinces adiacent very honourably accompanied as it was beesittinge for the sunne of sutch a Prince But the fathers diligence profited him nothing at all for why the childes disposition could not bée brought vnto anye other thing but to bée an handicrafts man Wherwith the kinge beeinge mutch troubled in his minde sent for all the wise men of his Realme to come vnto him and when hee had told them that the cause why hée sent for them was to knowe their opinions concerninge his sun They answered him that hée should applye him to that wher to he was most inclined and so hée did In the same place also hee telleth of a certen weauer that had a sunne whose natiuity foreshewed that hée should bee a greate wise man full of graue counsell and in fauour with Princes And when his father would haue instructed him in his own art of weauing hee could not learne it Then did hee whip him and beat him and gaue him vp vnto his owne will and the bâ—y ioyninge himselfe vnto learned men obtayned knowledge and vnderstanding of the heauenly motions and of the gouerment of Princes and at length was made one of the kinges Counsellers Macrobius telleth in the seconde of his Saturnalia that when Augustus returned from the Acticane victory amonge those that went to gratulate his returne ther was one which caried a Chough whome he had taught to say God saue thee Caesar our Empe. vanquisher of Antonius being likewise saluted by a Parrat hee willed y they should both bebought And wondring at the same in a Pie commaunded that to bee bought also Which thing a poore Cobler béeholding taught a Crowe to speake in the same maner And béeing ouercharged with cost and séeing that his birde would not answere was woont to say often all my labour is lost all my labour is lost But at length when the birde had perfectly learned the salutacion hée offred her vnto the Emperour who answered that hée had already enow sutch Birdes at home which saluted him after that sort Then the Crowe by chaunce remeÌ„bring the other speach which his Maister mistrustinge his docility had often times vttred béegan to speake aloude before the Emperour saying I haue lost my labour I haue lost my labour wherat Caesar laughed and commaunded him to bée bought likewise Chap. 17. Of Ritch men AEMilius Probatus in his booke of Captaines of forrein Nacions telleth a storie of the Princes sunne of Athens how meruelous liberall hée was who hauinge fermes and grainges in many places of the cuntrey hee neuer put anye kéepers ouer his corne or frutes but suffred euery man to take what hée list his seruants followed him with monie to giue away if any lacked immeadiatly lest hée shoulde séeme to deney it by deferring it If hee saw anye man ill apperrelled hée woould giue him his owne clothes from his backe Hee alwayes prepared great plenty of meat that those whom hée found vnbidden in the stréets he mighte haue them all home vnto his house which hee did euery day and missed not His credite his helpe his goods neuer was failinge to any that had neede He encritched many and buried many poore folke of his owne cost Cecilius Balbus of the Philosophers toies reporteth that Agathocles kinge of Sicilia said that a man ought to vse plate of gold as hée would cuppes of clay for it is far more better to shine in good maners then in ritches He vsed at his meales to dine and suppe in earthen vessels and on a time when one demaunded of him the cause hée answered in this sort Of Sicil though I now bee Kinge a Potter was my sier Whoso to ritch and high estate shalt happen to aspire Arising eft from base degree vse fortune reuerently And call to minde what was thy state beefore thou rose so by And therfore this kinge considering the basenes of his parentage was content to féede in earthen vessel as other poore men are Valerius in his third booke and fift chapter reporteth that Marcus Curius at what time the Ambassadours of the Samnites came to speake with him bid that they should come into him wher they founde him sittinge vpon an euell fauoured fourme very homely Who merueiling at his pouerty and deliuering vnto him a great summe of Mony which they desiered him to accepte and to vse it at his néede and pleasure hée refused it willing them to tell the Samnites that Mar. Curius had rather rule ouer ritch men then be ritch himself And remember this quod hee that I can neyther bee ouercome in batteill nor corrupted with monie The same aucthour likewise telleth of Frabricius who was greater then any man in all the City in honour and aucthoritye and match with the poorest in wealth and reuenue who also sent backe vnto the Samnites many great giftes in whose tuition and charge they were Hee was ritch without mony and kept a great family for why it made him ritch not to possesse mutch but to desier sufficient Chap. 18. Of Poore men FRontinus in his fourth booke first chapter telleth how that Scipio after the hee had atchiued notable exploits in Spaine writeth that according vnto a law made by Seleucus against adultrie his sunne who was apprehended in the same should haue lost both his eies And when the whole City for the honour and duty which they bare to the father deured that the punishment might bee remitted long time refusing to bée intreated but at length relenting at the peoples sute first putting out one of his owne eies and next one of his sunnes notwithstanding fulfilled the whole punishment deuiding himselfe as it were beetwéene a mercifull father and a iust
the rest of the body and at one time makeâ—h a great sensible delectation of the body to arise in eueri part therof wheras meat by smal and small recomforteth the want and weaknes of the same wherby the delight therof is much diminished Fourthly why doth the self same drinke seeme stroÌ„ger to one thaâ— is fasting theÌ„ to one that is full HuÌ„ger emptieth the veines fulnes stoppeth theÌ„ and therfore wheÌ„ as the drink passeth through the empty partes it is farre more euident perceiued and causeth more strong sense of delectation vnto the tastinge Fiftly If a man be thirstie and haue a drie stomack whether may a litle drinke suffice him or not It is hereunto to be answered according vnto Galen those which haue drie stomackes are soone a thirst and a litle drinke sufficeth them The reason wherof may be this for that euery member which is dry shrinketh togither and waxeth to be of lesse capasitie then it was before whiche hapneth vnto the stomack which is drye and therfore is soone filled and with a litle drink And in the stomack there is ingendred great thirstines when the mouth therof waxeth drie and desireth to bee moistned with drinke and then a litle drink sufficeth it For when that which was drie and hard is shrunken togither the capacitie thereof is soone filled with drink and a litle extinguisheth the thirst insomutch as it féeleth not it owne emptynes and this thirste soone returneth againe Sixtly May the stomack be ouer charged and troubled with to mutch drink Surely Galen affirmeth the same and the reson may appeare out of the premisses For if a dry stomack by reason of the narrownes therof be full with a litle drinke if then the drink be more then the capacitie of the stomacke be able to conteine néedes as Galen saith must much drink ouer flow and runouer in it Seuenthly why can a moist stomack beare mutch A moist stomack is in all points contrary to a drye for it is very soft like vnto a soft bottle or bladder for that cause is able to coÌ„teine more for it yéeldeth euery way as the meate which is receiued chanceth to fall or sway in it also apparent it is to sence that a moyst bladder will receiue more then wyll a dry one and so likwise wil a moyst stomack And moreouer forsomutch as it is moist without any drienesse which may procure thirste therfore it mutch desireth not drinke howbeit it receiueth much and is nothinge gréeued therewith as is the drie stomack And for this cause the Danes Polonians Flemmynges yea and the Englishmen can beare mutch drink bicause their stomackes are wide procured by the softnesse of moysture But in hoat Regions as are Spayne Barbarie and sutch like the inhabitants do thirst mutch and drinke but litle bicause of the drinesse of the mouth of the stomacke and in sutch their stomackes can receiue but litle bicause of the drinesse therof The. 5. Chap. of Thirstinesse conteining 4 questions NOw are wée occasioned to moue this question concerning Thirstines Whether the cause therof proceede sumtime from the Lungues or no Which Galen affirmeth for that wheÌ„ the Lungues are hoat and drie they longe to bée moystned which drines is specially aswaged by drawing in of cold aier and cold and moyst Secondly what is the cause why thirstines which cummeth froÌ„ the Lungues is appeased by drawyng in cold and moist aier And the drinesse of the stomack by drink It is thus to be answered that there be two passages the one for ayer which is directed vnto the Lungues the other for meate and drinke that passeth into the stomacke And for this cause the thirstinesse which cummeth of the Lungues is abated by drawyng in of colde aier and that which riseth of the stomack is slaked with drinke Thirdly Is thirst a desire of that which is colde and moiste or of that which is hoat and moist There are in the body two appetites or desires the one in respect of meat to restore that which is lost which appetite is satisfied with that whiche is hoate and moyst accordyng to the nature of the partes to bée nourished The other looketh for that which is cold and moist to represse the flame and firines of naturall heate whiche is accomplished by drinke only and sutch drinke as men seldom vse but in the way of medicine or when they bée sicke Fourthly Which quencheth the thirst best of wyne or water Thirst as saith Galen de simplici medicina is caused two maner of wayes the one by emptinesse the other by heate drought of the heart That which coÌ„meth by emptinesse of the partes is cheifly aswaged by Wine which is both meat and drinke for it requireth sutch drinke as is able to restore that substaÌ„ce which is lost which qualitie since it is in Wine that is the only drinke then wherby that thirst is appeased But as for the other thirst which is caused by heat drought of the heart that is again double the one cummyng of heat only whiche is quenched with colde only as with Vineger and sutch like And likewise some is caused by drienesse is slaked by moysture Againe thirst which is ingendred by heate is of thrée sortes The one riseth forth of the stomack the other foorth of the Lungues and the third from the parts which are farther of So that whiche cummeth from the Lungues is slaked by drawing in of colde Aier and that which procéedeth from the stomack and other partes neare therevnto is quenched with colde water but that which springeth of some éeuil disposition of the parts and members which are far distant as are the Liuer and sutch like is delayed with water wherwith sum pearsing and subtile thinge is mingled to cause it the sooner to go vnto the place as is vineger or sutch like for water of it self is but slow and dull in operation wherfore it is needefull that some sharper thing bée ioyned with it The 6. Chap. of Hurtes which come after meate conteing 15 questions HEreafter wée meane to intreate concernynge certen accidents which chance after meate and drink And first to begin with the sower belching it may be demaunded wherof it coÌ„meth And vnto this point wée answere with Galen that the Sower belching procéedeth of a fainting heat which fayleth decayeth by meanes of colde For heat is the beginning of the sowernes which beginneth to digest but is not able to accomplish it which defaut cuÌ„meth especially by hinderaÌ„ce through cold Secondly why is not this sowernes felt in the stomack â–ª immediatly vpon the receiuing of meat At the first falling of the meat into the stomak it remaineth a while in the same nature Which it had before it was eaten and caÌ„not so soone be sower but when once the heate beginneth to work vpon it there insueth indigestion and after that the sowrnes Thirdly Why hapneth this sowernes rather and in more aboundance to
when he was comming away taking leaue he rouÌ„ded the maister of the house in the eare saying I knew not before that we two were so familiar and coÌ„ming also on a time vnto Pompeius house some that were there before sayd that he came to late Naye not so sayd Cicero for I see nothing preuided Lykewyse seeing Lentulus his sonne in lawe a man of small stature going with a long sword by his syde who quod Cicero hath tyed my sonne in lawe to a sword The same beholding the counterfayte of his brother Quintus Cicero set forth very large and in a great portrayture and Quintus him selfe being a man but of a verye small sâ—antling halfe my brother sayde hee is byggeâ— then the whole After the victorye which Caesar obtayned Cicero being demaunded how he was so deceyued in taking part answered thus his gyrting deceyued mee testing at the maner of Caesar who was woont to let his gowne trayle downe after him going somewhat wantonly â—ffâ—minatly in apparell In so much that Sylla foreseeing what might haplye insue sayde on a tyme vnto Pompeius take heede of that vngyrted boye Laberius passing by Cicero and faking a place to syt on I woulde gyue you part of my place then quod Cicero but that I syt in a narrow rowme thereby both disâ—ayning him iestyng also at the new Senate the number whereof Caesar had augmented beside ryght and order Howbeit he caryed it away not sâ—otree for Laberius answerered him home agayne saying It is maruayle that you syt so narrowlye which vse to syt on two stooles at one tyme thereby reproching Cicerces lyghtnesse Therefore for as much as these and such lyke iestes do prouoke laughter and delyte in them that heare them I haue purposed to fyll this fowrth part with the lyke according to sundrye estates of persons drawing them forth of allowable aucthorityes and dysposing them in a conuenient order and begynning eftsones with the greatest personages Chap. 4. Of Emperours and their merie iestes MAcrobius wryteth that Augustus the Emperour was delyted in iesting hauing alwayes respect of his honour and honestie And many maruayled more at the iestes and quippes which he bare then those which he gaue On a tyme when he saw a grauer grauing a tombe for his father In deede quod Augustus this is the true reuerensing and culture of the fathers sepulcher When he heard that king Herode among the chiâ—dren which were but two monethes old whome he slew for Christes sake had also kylled his owne sonne sayd that he had rather be Herodes hogge then his sonne There came vnto Rome a certaine young Gentleman very lyke vnto Augustus whome wheÌ„ the Emperour had seene be demauÌ„ded of him if his mother had somtime béen at Rome or not No quod the Gentleman but my father hat béene often When Augustus had written certaine inuectiues against Pillio but I wyll hold my peace quod Pillio for it is a shrewd matter to write against him that can banish mee Then one as he was passing by sayd there goeth a tyrant Augustus turned about aunswered if I were one thou wouldest not dare to say so One nyght as he lay in a vyllage in the couÌ„trey an Oule troubled him so with hyr crying that he could not sleepe But when one of the souldiors going forth had taken the Oule he commended his industrie commaunded that he should haâ—e a thousand pence giuen him for a reward Which the souldiour mistyking of sayd he had rather that she shoâ—ld liue so let hyr flie Who wyll not maruaile how this saucie souldiour could escape so well hauing offended an Emperor Lucan the Poet reporteth that when â—â—â— that was inferiour vnto Iulius Caesar euertâ— warâ—ed him in certeyne matters he auâ—sweared him saying No stare whereto thou canst aspyre Can make thee wothie Caesars yâ—e There is a storye tolde of a certayne Necromancer who had a noble man to his Scholler that promysed him many great gyftes and bountifull rewardes Whome the maister meaning to trye what he woulde doe in deede wrought so by his art that he seemed vnto him selfe that he was elected Emperour And hauing thus obtayned much lande and lyuing as hée â—hought his mayster desired him to bestowe some parte thereof vppon him Why quoth his Schollar I knowe thée not Then sayd the maister I am hee that hat hath gyuen you all these rytches and nowe I wyll take them awaye agayne and there withall caused the vision to surcease and then hée found him selfe to be in case as hée was before Thus many men promise many goodlye matters which they neuer meane to perfourme Fredericke the Emperour lying in siege before the Cittye of Millâ—yn determyned if hée myght take it to slay man woman and chylde Then aunswered the Erle of Subandia saying that his Maiestye had yet a greater conquest then that in hand which he must also obtaine What is that quoth the Emperor truely sayde the Erle your owne wyll and courage of mynde Which saying the Emperour hauing wel dygested within him selfe altered his determination graunted them al theyr liues Chap. 5. Of Kinges and their sundrye merye iestes THe noble Seneca in his booke which he wrote of anger sheweth that â—ing Antiochus hearing certaine of his subiects euyl reporting of him rayling against him in a place where there was nothing but a curtaine drawne betweene them that spake and him that harde hée gentlie reprooued theyr follie as it had béene some other man saying vnto them depart from heâ—ce least the king heare you Valerius in the seuenth booke thyrd Chapter Writeth that king Alexander being warned by an Oracle that whomsoeuer he met when he walked forth of the Gate he should coÌ„maund him to bée slaine seeing a dryuer of Asses coÌ„ming a farre of wylled immediatly that he should bée kylled Then the poore Asse dryuer asking the cause why hee should bee put to death nothauing â—ffeÌ„ded they answered that it was the coÌ„maundement of the Oracle Then quod the Asse driuer If it be so O kyng then hath this lot fallen vpon another not on mée for the Asse which I draue before me met with you first Then kyng being delighted with this subtyll answeare and seeing howe he was reuoked from his errour saued the man commaunded the Asse to be slaine When the people of Athens would haue yeelded diuine honors vnto Alexander beware quod Demades that whyles ye keepe heauen ye loose not â—he earth A certayne poore varlet meeting with Philip the king desyred him to geue him somewhat for that he was of hâ—s kynred Which way saide the kyng Marie quod the varlet by our great grandfather Adam Thou sayest true quod the king and commaunded that his men shoulde geue him a peny Which when the varlet disdayned at saying that it was no princely reward The kyng answeared that yf he should geue so muche vnto euery one that is as néere of kyn vnto him as he