purloining what she can from her husband 3. By it husbands and wiues are stirred vp to wish and long after one anothers death and not only inwardly in heart to wish it but outwardly also in deed to practise it 4. If from this sinne there arise not a gauling and terrifying conscience as oft there doth then which is worse a seared conscience an hard heart a reprobate sense and an impudent face Wherefore God accordingly deales with such sinners In his soule he hateth them by his word he hath denounced many fearefull iudgements against them both in this world and in the world to come against no sinne more This sin is reckoned to be one of the most principall causes of the greatest iudgements that euer were inflicted in the world as of the generall deluge of that fire and brimstone which destroied Sodome and Gomorrah of Canaans spuing out her Inhabitants of that plague which destroied in one day 24000 and of the Israelites captiuitie with the like By all which we see that fearefull doome verified Whoremongers and adulterers God will iudge Now consider what a fearefull thing it is to fall into the hands of the liuing God §. 9. Of remedies against Adulterie and in particular of due beneuolence and of defect or excesse therein For preuenting this hainous sinne to omit many other remedies which Gods word hath prescribed as a diligent keeping of the heart that lustfull thoughts proceed not from thence of the eies that they wander not on the beautie or propernesse of any ones person or on lasciuious pictures or any other like allurements of the eares that they hearken not to any inticements of others of the tongue that it vtter no vnchaste and corrupt communication of the lips that they delight not in wanton kisses of the hands that they vse no wanton daliance of the feet that they carry thee not too neere to the place where adulterie may be committed of thy company that thou be not defiled with others wantonnesse and vncleannesse of thy diet that it be not immoderate of thine apparell that it be not garish and lasciuious of thy time that it be not vainly and idly spent to omit I say these and other like remedies One of the best remedies that can be prescribed to maried persons next to an awfull feare of God and a continuall setting of him before them wheresoeuer they are is that husband and wife mutually delight each in other and maintaine a pure and feruent loue betwixt themselues yeelding that due beneuolence one to another which is warranted sanctified by Gods word and ordained of God for this particular end This due beneuolence as the Apostle stileth it is one of the most proper and essentiall acts of mariage and necessary for the maine and principall ends thereof as for preseruation of chastitie in such as haue not the gift of continency for increasing the world with a legitimate brood and for linking the affections of the maried couple more firmely together These ends of mariage at least the two former are made void without this duty be performed As it is called beneuolence because it must be performed with good will and delight willingly readily and cheerefully so it is said to be due because it is a debt which the wife oweth to her husband and he to her For the wife hath not the power of her owne body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne body but the wife I haue my warrant from the Apostle to prescribe this dutie as a remedie against adulterie For to auoid fornication he aduiseth man and wife to render due beneuolence one to another If then this question be moued How will mariage keep men and women from adulterie this answer out of the Apostles words may be giuen by rendring due beneuolence which he further inculcateth by declaring the mischiefe that may follow vpon the neglect of this dutie namely a casting of themselues into the snares of Satan Well might he presse this dutie to that end because no other meanes is of like force nor fasting nor watching nor hard lodging nor long trauell nor much labour nor cold nor solitarinesse nor any thing else Some that haue by these meanes endeuoured much to beat downe their bodies and subdue lust but neglected the forenamed remedie haue notwithstanding felt lust boiling in them There are two extremes contrarie to this dutie One in the defect another in the excesse Defect therein is when in case of need it is not required or being required by the one it is not yeelded by the other Modestie is pretended by some for not requiring it but in a duty so warrantable and needfull pretence of modesty is to speake the least a signe of great infirmitie and a cause of much iniquitie To denie this dutie being iustly required is to denie a due debt and to giue Satan great aduantage The punishment inflicted on Onan Gen. 38. 9 10. sheweth how great a wrong this is From that punishment the Hebrews gather that this sinne is a kinde of murther It is so much the more hainous when hatred stoutnesse nicenesse feare of hauing too many children or any other like respects are the cause thereof Excesse is either in the measure or in the time In the measure when husband or wife is insatiable prouoking rather then asswaging lust and weakning their naturall vigor more then suppressing their vnnaturall humor Many husbands and wiues are much oppressed by their bedfellowes vnsatiablenesse in this kinde In the time when it is against Pietie Mercy or Modestie 1. Against Pietie when no day nor dutie of Religion no not extraordinarie daies and duties of humiliation will make them forbeare The Prophets bidding the bridegroome and â—ride goe out of their chamber in the day of a Fast and the Apostles excepting of Praier and fasting where he enioineth this dutie of due beneuolence shew that in the time of a Fast it must â—e forborne 2. Against Mercy when one of the married couple being weake by sicknesse paine labour trauell or any other like â—eanes and through that weaknesse not well able to performe his dutie the other notwithstanding will haue it performed â— will haue mercy and not sacrifice saith the Lord. Shall Gods sacrifice giue place to mercy and shall not mans or womans 〈◊〉 for so I may well terme this vnseasonable desire Quest What if an husband or wife continue so long sicke â—â— otherwise weake as the other cannot containe Answ In such cases of necessitie the body must be beaten â—wne and earnest praier made for the gift of continency for â—redly the Lord who hath brought thee to that necessitie all giue thee grace sufficient 3. Against Modesty when husbands require this duty in that me which vnder the Law was called the time
departing from the Catholike faith is directly contrarie to S. Pauls and S. Peters doctrine 1 Cor. 7. 12 13 14. 1 Pet. 3. 1. As for soliciting and impelling vnto sinne though it may be cause to moue an husband or a wife to walke more warily and wisely and in extremitie to auoid societie for a time or to comâ—laine to the Magistrate for releefe who may see it meet to lay â—he delinquent person in prison or else otherwise keepe them sunder till that delinquent be reclaimed and brought to a better minde yet is it no sufficient cause finally to dissolue maâ—age in regard of bed and cohabitation They vrge that if the right eye cause to offend it must be plucâ—d out Ans 1. That is but a metaphor and may sundry other wayes 〈◊〉 applied 2. The words are not simply but by way of comparison to â—e taken rather plucke it out then to be made to stumble thereby 3. Plucking out applied to the point in hand may be by â—any other wayes then by dissoluing mariage 4. That generall inhibition whosoeuer shall put away his wife causeth her to commit adulterie restrained only with the exception of fornication admitteth neither this nor any other such cause of dissoluing mariage §. 17. Of husbands and wiues vnlawfull absenting themselues one from another Contrarie also to the forenamed dutie of cohabitation is the practise of many men who liuing themselues in one place suppose at London send their wiues vnto some countrey house and there euen mew them vp as Hawkes neuer caring to come at them but are then most merrie when their wiues are farthest off If their wiues liue at home they will be abroad mealing and lodging where their wiues shall not know their owne house is as a prison to them they are not well but when they are out of it Of the like lewd conceit and practife are many wiues who on no other occasion then meere lightnesse being eager in pursuing their pleasures and satisfying their lusts gad out of their owne houses in the day lie out of them in the night and remaine in other company dayes and nights or at least are glad when their husbands haue occasion to be from home not vnlike to the light huswife which Salomon describeth Prou. 7. 10. c. I speake of matters too famous or rather infamous I would there were no iust cause to taxe this lightnesse But let such as desire to approue themselues to God or man take heed of these hainous and more then heathenish vices Though Israel play the harlot yet let not Iudah offend Too neere to the forenamed kinde of vnlawfull separation doe they come who though they liue both in one house yet make that house by their estranging themselues one from another as two houses the man abiding in one end thereof his wife in another and so haue their seuerall roomes seuerall tables seuerall seruants all seuerall Or if the straitnesse of their house will not suffer them so to part other roomes yet they will haue seuerall bed-chambers or at least seuerall beds so as they that shall call them bed-fellowes shall but nicke-name them Thus they rob each other of that due beneuolence which they mutually owe one to another they expose themselues to the deuils snares they more and more estrange their hearts one from another and depriue themselues of such mutuall comforts and helpes as by matrimoniall societie they might afford to and receiue from one another §. 18. Of husbands and wiues mutuall prayers The matter whereabout husbands and wiues mutuall prouidence ought to be conuersant is in generall the good of one another that each of them doe that for the other which Salomon in particular applieth to a wife viz. good and not euill all the dayes of their life Now the good of man extendeth to his soule bodie good name and goods A generall dutie tending to the good of all these is prayer S. Peter requireth such a cariage of man and wife one towards another as their prayers be not hindred whereby he taketh it for grant that prayer is a mutuall dutie which one oweth to the other which dutie Isaak performed for his wife Herein may man and wife be helpfull each to other in all things needfull to either of them for it is the meanes which God in wisdome hath sanctified for the obtaining of euerie needfull blessing for ourselues or others By many it is counted but a slight dutie and of small vse but the truth is that to performe it aright in truth and faith is both difficult in the deed and powerfull in the effect It is the best dutie that one can performe for another and the least to be neglected We heard before that Isaak prayed for his wife and to shew the good he did to her thereby it is noted that the Lord was intreated of him so as she being barren before by that meanes conceiued All the physicke in the world could not haue done her so much good Alwayes therefore without ceasing is this dutie to be performed Whensoeuer man and wife make any prayer therein they must be mindfull of one another yea and oft must they of purpose take occasion to make prayers in speciall one for another and that both in absence and also in presence of one another This latter doth especially concerne the husband who is as a Priest vnto his wife and ought to be her mouth to God when they two are together yet I doubt not but that the wife may pray in the husbands presence when they two are alone â—ither for triall that he may haue knowledge of her abilitie and gift in that kinde or for helpe if the wife be much better able to performe that duty then the man is as many wiues are Not without cause therefore haue I reckoned this among common mutuall duties §. 19. Of the things for which husbands and wiues are to pray alone There are sundry needfull blessings which husbands and wiues are to pray for that appertaine only to themselues and are most meet to be mentioned in priuate praier betwixt themselues as 1. That as they two are one flesh so they may be also one spirit that their hearts may be as one knit together by a true spirituall matrimoniall loue alwayes delighting one in another euer helpfull one to another and readie with all willingnesse and cheerefulnesse to performe all those duties which they owe one to another 2. That their mariage bed may be sanctified and as it is by Gods ordinance so it may remaine to them by their well vsing it a bed vndefiled There is no other thing for which mutuall prayer in priuate betwixt man and wife is more needfull and that so much the rather because of the naturall heat of lust which is in most which if it be not by prayer the best meanes for that purpose asswaged it may proue a defilement of the vndefiled bed and
This commeth too neere to the quicke and pierceth too deepe But to interpret all according to the rule of loue in the better part I take the maine reason of the many exceptions which were taken to be this that wiues duties according to the Apostles method being in the first place handled there was taught as must haue beene taught except the truth should haue beene betrayed what a wife in the vttermost extent of that subiection vnder which God hath put her is bound vnto in case her husband will stand vpon the vttermost of his authority which was so taken as if I had taught that an husband might and ought to exact the vttermost and that a wife was bound in that vttermost extent to doe all that was deliuered as dutie whether her husband exact it or no. But when I came to deliuer husbands duties I shewed that he ought not to exact whatsoeuer his wife was bound vnto in case it were exacted by him but that he ought to make her a ioynt Gouernour of the family with himselfe and referre the ordering of many things to her discretion and with all honourable and kinde respect to carrie himselfe towards her In a word I so set downe an husbands duties as if he be wise and conscionable in obseruing them his wife can haue no iust cause to complaine of her subiection That which maketh a wiues yoake heauy and hard is an husbands abuse of his authority and more pressing his wiues dutie then performing his owne which is directly contrary to the Apostles rule This iust Apologie I haue beene forced to make that I might not euer be iudged as some haue censured me an hater of women Now that in all those places where a wiues yoke may seeme most to pinch I might giue some ease I haue to euery head of wiues duties made a reference in the margin ouer against it to the duties of husbands answerable thereunto and noted the reference with this marke * that it might the more readily be turned vnto Yea I haue further parallel'd and laid euen one against another in one view the heads of husbands and wiues duties as they answer each other and in like manner the contrary aberrations with a reference made vnto the particular sections where they are handled that so on the one side it may appeare that if both of them be conscionable and carefull to performe their owne duty the matrimoniall yoke will so equally lie on both their necks as the wife will be no more pinched therewith then the husband but that it will be like Christs spirituall yoke light and easie and that on the other side it may be manifest that there is commonly as much failing by husbands in their duties as by wiues in theirs This parallel and euen-setting out of each of their duties and of the contrary aberrations I haue annexed next to this epistle And further I haue added thereto a table of the seuerall heads of those points that are handled in the eight following Treatises that by this helpe you may the more readily finde out such particular points as you desire most especially to read To shew that the duties prescribed to Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants are such as in conscience they are bound vnto I haue endeuoured to shew how they are grounded on the word of God and gathered from thence To auoid prolixity I haue referred most of the quotations to the margin If your leisure will serue you you may doe well to search them out Two things haue beene especiall helpes to me for finding out the many duties noted in these Treatises vices contrary thereunto Obseruation and Disposition Obseruation both of such duties as the Scripture commendeth and contrary vices as it condemneth and also of such commendable virtues as I well liked in those Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants that I came among and such vnseemely vices as I disliked in them and Disposition of one point after another in the best order that I could My method and manner of proceeding brought many things to my minde which otherwise might haue slipped by For by method sundry and seuerall points appertaining to one matter are drawne forth as in a chaine one linke draweth vp another There is no better way to finde out many obseruations in a text then by a methodicall resolution thereof As method is an helpe to Inuention so also to retention It is as the thread or wier whereon pearles are put which keepeth them from scattering And if a man by abundance of matter be cast into a labyrinth by the helpe of method he may easily and readily finde out the way againe In which respects method is fitly stiled the Mother of the Minde and Mistresse of Memorie If you well marke the order and dependance of points one vpon another you will finde as great an helpe in conceiuing and remembring them as I did in inuenting and disposing them Because there is not one word to comprise vnder it both masters and mistresses as fathers and mothers are comprised vnder Parents and sonnes and daughters vnder Children I haue according to the Scripture phrase comprised Mistresses vnder Masters so as the duties enioyned to them belong to these so farre as may stand with their sex To conclude in recompence of all my paines I heartily pray you all to pray heartily for him who daily praieth for you euen The Watch-man of your soules WILLIAM GOVGE A few faults escaped in the printing are noted in the end of the booke which I desire you to amend with a pen. TREAT III.  Particular duties of Wiues  SVbiection the generall head of all wiues duties § 2.  1 Acknowledgment of an husbands superioritie § 3. 2 A due esteeme of her owne husband to be the best for her and worthy of honour on her part § 5. 3 An inward wiue-like feare § 7. 4 An outward reuerend cariage towards her husband which consisteth in a wiue-like sobrietie mildnesse curtesie and modestie in apparell § 9 10 11 12. 5 Reuerend speech to and of her husband § 13 14 15 16. 6 Obedience § 17. 7 Forbearing to doe without or against her husbands consent such things as he hath power to order as to dispose and order the common goods of the familie and the allowance for it or children seruants cattell guests iournies c. § 18 23 38 39 40 41. 8 A ready yeelding to what her husband would haue done This is manifested by her willingnesse to dwell where he will to come when he calls and to doe what he requireth § 43 44 45 46. 9 A patient bearing of any reproofe and a ready redressing of that for which she is iustly reproued § 47 48. 10 Contentment with her husbands present estate § 49. 11 Such a subiection as may stand with her subiection to Christ § 51. 12 Such a subiection as the Church yeeldeth to Christ which is sincere
Of parents making a will before they die 570 63 Of neglecting to make a will 571 64 Of parents leauing their estate to their children when they die 572 65 Of the inconueniences which improuident parents bring their children vnto after their death 573 66 Of parents impartiall respect to all their children 575 67 Of parents preferring a dutifull childe before a disobedient childe 576 68 Of the prerogatiue of the first borne sonne 576 69 Of parents partiality towards some children 578 70 Of the causes for which the first borne may be disinherited 579 71 Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law 580 72 Of the peruerse carriage of fathers and mothers in law to their children 581 73 Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues 582 74 Of their duty who are in stead of parents to orphants 583 75 Of the common neglect of orphants 584 76 Of the duty of guardians 584 77 Of the fraud of guardians 585 78 Of the duties of Schoolemasters and Tutors 586 79 Of the negligence of Schoolemasters and Tutors 587 VII TREATISE Of Seruants Duties § 1. A Resolution of the Apostles direction to seruants 589 2 Of the lawfulnesse of a masters place and power 591 3 Of the Anabaptists arguments against the authority of masters and subiection of seruants 592 4 Of a seruants feare of his master 594 5 Of the extremes contrary to seruants feare of their master 595 6 Of seruants reuerence in speech 596 7 Of the vices contrary to a seruants reuerance in speech 599 8 Of seruants reuerend behauiour to their masters 601 9 Of the faults of seruants contrary to reuerence in carriage 602 10 Of seruants obedience 603 11 Of seruants forbearing to doe things without their masters consent 604 12 Of the vnlawfull liberty which seruants take to themselues 606 13 Of seruants obedience to their masters commandements 608 14 Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in matters of their calling 608 15 Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in piety 609 16 Of seruants faults contrary to obedience in matters of religion 610 17 Of seruants obedience to reproofe and correction 611 18 Of the extremes contrary to seruants patient hearing of reproofe and correction 613 19 Of seruants amending that for which they are iustly reproued or corrected 614 20 Of seruing with trembling 615 21 Of seruing with sincerity 616 22 Of seruing for conscience sake 617 23 Of seruants willingnesse to performe their dutie 618 24 Of seruants quicknesse and diligence in their seruice 619 25 Of seruants faithfulnesse 622 26 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters goods 623 27 Of seruants carelesnesse ouer their masters goods 624 28 Of seruants fraud 625 29 Of seruants faithfulnesse in the businesses which they are to dispatch for their masters 626 30 Of seruants faithfulnesse in keeping their masters secrets and concealing their infirmities 628 31 Of seruants faithfulnesse in helping one another 629 32 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters children 630 33 Of seruants faithfulnesse in regard of their masters or mistresses bed-fellow 632 34 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters person 633 35 Of the meanes to make seruants faithfull 634 36 Of seruants endeuour to make their iudgements agree with their masters 635 37 Of seruants yeelding to doe such things at their masters command as they cannot thinke to be most meet 636 38 Of seruants forbearing to obey their master against God 637 39 Of seruants choosing good masters 639 40 Of the first motiue to enforce seruants duties The Place of Masters 641 41 Of the second motiue The Place of Seruants 642 42 Of the third motiue Gods will 642 43 Of the fourth motiue Reward of good seruice 643 VII TREATISE Of Masters duties § 1. OF the heads of masters duties 646 2 Of masters choosing good seruants 647 3 Of masters carelesnesse in choosing seruants 649 4 Of masters maintaining their authority 650 5 Of masters making their authority to be despised 651 6 Of masters too great rigor 652 7 Of masters commanding power restrained to things lawfull 653 8 Of masters presuming aboue their authority 654 9 Of masters commanding seruants to doe their dutie 655 10 Of the sinne of masters in suffering seruants to neglect their dutie 656 11 Of a masters wisdome in ordering things indifferent 656 12 Of masters offence against expediency 657 13 Of the power of masters to correct their seruants 658 14 Of the restraint of masters power that it reacheth not to their seruants life 659 15 Of masters excesse in correcting seruants 660 16 Of masters ordering that correction which they giue to their seruants 661 17 Of masters power ouer their seruants in and about their mariage 662 18 Of masters rigor in forcing mariages vpon their seruants or in seperating man and wife 664 19 Of masters power to dispose their seruants person 664 20 Of masters well managing their authority 665 21 Of masters endeuouring the saluation of their seruants 666 22 Of masters neglecting to edifie their seruants 668 23 Of allowing seruants sufficient food 668 24 Of defect and excesse in allowing seruants food 669 25 Of masters care about their seruants apparell 670 26 Of moderating seruants labour 671 27 Of affording seruants fit means for their worke 672 28 Of affording seasonable rest to seruants 672 29 Of denying seasonable rest to seruants 673 30 Of masters offence in keeping seruants from the rest of the Lords day 674 31 Of allowing time of recreation to seruants 675 32 Of masters care ouer their seruants in sicknesse and after death 675 33 Of neglect of seruants in sicknesse and after they are dead 677 34 Of masters prouiding for the future estate of their seruants 678 35 Of well imploying seruants 679 36 Of exercising seruants to a calling 679 37 Of appointing to euery seruant his particular function 681 38 Of disorders in families through masters negligence 682 39 Of masters ouerseeing the waies of their seruants 682 40 Of prouoking seruants to their duty both by faire and soule meanes 683 41 Of paying seruants their wages 684 42 Of masters iustice about their seruants wages 685 43 Of suffering seruants to prouide for themselues 686 44 Of kindnesse to be shewed to good seruants 686 45 Of vnkinde dealing with good seruants 688 46 Of the subiection vnder which masters are 689 47 Of the equality betwixt masters and seruants in relation to God 691 48 Of Gods being in heauen how it is a motiue to prouoke masters well to respect their seruants 691 49 Of Gods impartiall respect of all 693 The first Treatise AN EXPOSITION OF THAT PART OF SCRIPTVRE out of which Domesticall Duties are raised EPHES. 5. 21. Submit your selues one to another in the feare of God §. 1. Of the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars AS there are two vocations whereunto it hath pleased God to call euery one one Generall by vertue whereof certaine common duties which are to be performed of all men
flesh he addeth this law Therefore shall a man leaue his father c. In this place these words haue both a literall and a mysticall sense A literall of man and wife A mysticall of Christ and the Church The maine thing which the Apostle aimeth at is to shew how neerely man and wife are linked together that thereby they may the rathet be moued to performe those mutuall and seuerall duties which they owe each to other But because he propounded to husbands and wiues the examples of Christ and the Church as patternes and motiues to them to doe their dutie he applieth that which was first spoken of man and wife vnto Christ and his Church to shew that there being so fit a resemblance betwixt these two couples the patterne propounded is the more pertinent to the purpose and the reason enforced from thence the more forcible Because the opening of the literall sense will giue great light to the mysterie I will first handle this text according to the meaning of the letter The first clause for this cause implieth a necessarie connexion with that which went before The neere vnion of man and wife as well as of Christ and his Church was before noted A wife was said to be as the bodie of a man yea as himselfe Adam called her his flesh and bones Hereupon both Moses and Paul inferre Therefore or For this cause shall a man leaue father Because man and wife are so neere by Gods institution they must also be most deare each to other in their mutuall affection The Man meaning an husband is here in particular mentioned because at the first making of this Law the woman was brought to him to see how he would like her and hauing cast his affection on her he was to be bound hereby to continue that good liking towards her as also because of the preheminencie which man hath aboue his wife Yet is not the man only tied hereby but the wife also the nature and rule of relation requireth as much if a man must inseparably cleaue to his wife the wife must answerably cleaue to her husband These words shall leaue father and mother are neither generally to be taken of all duties as if no dutie were to be performed to parents by children after they are maried nor simply as if indeed parents were vtterly to be forsaken but they are meant 1. Of that daily seruice which children vnder their parents gouernment performe vnto them seeking to please them in all things When children are maried then their daily attendance must be vpon their wiues or husbands taking care how to please them 2. Of erecting a new family for which end their parents house must be left and the husband and wife must dwell each with other 3. Of the difference to be put betwixt parents and wife or husband So as if by any ineuitable occasion it should so fall out that a man must leaue his parent or his wife as in case parent and wife were both giuing vp the Ghost and in places so farre remote as the husband could not possibly be with both yet both instantly desired his companie by this Law he must leaue his parent and cleaue to his wife Hereby then the bond of mariage is declared to be the most inuiolable bond that can be For all men know that the bond betwixt parent and childe is a firme and inuiolable bond but the bond betwixt husband and wife is more firme and inuiolable To set forth the firmnesse of the mariage bond he addeth this Emphacicall phrase shall be ioyned or as the word properly cording to the naturall notation thereof signifieth shall be glued to his wife Things well glued together are as fast firme and close as if they were one intire peece Yea we obserue by experience that a table will oft times cleaue in the whole wood before it will part asunder where it is glued so as an husband ought to be as firme to his wife as to himselfe and she to him Fitly doth this agree with that which followeth they two shall be one flesh Our English cannot well expresse the Greeke in good sense word for word which is thus they two shall beinto or in one flesh the meaning is They which were two before mariage by the bond of mariage are brought into one flesh to be euen as one flesh as neerely vnited as the parts of the same body and the same flesh This vnitie is not in regard of carnall copulation for if they be maried they are one flesh though they neuer know one another nor in regard of procreation because one childe commeth from them both for though they neuer haue childe yet are they one flesh but in regard of Gods institution who hath set it downe for a law and as another nature that man and wife should be so neere one to another Their consent in mariage by vertue of Gods institution maketh them to be one flesh Well doth our English note the emphasis of the originall in this particle THEY they two which sheweth that the bond of mariage knitteth only two together one man and one woman and no more This Law setteth forth the Vnion betwixt man and wife Therein three things are noted concerning the state of mariage 1. The praeeminencie of it a man shall leaue father and mother 2. The firmnesse of it and be ioyned to his wife 3. The neerenesse of it they two shall be one flesh §. 80. Of preferring husband or wife before parents The first point sheweth that A wife or an husband must be preferred before parents The examples of Leah and Rachel yea and of Micol are commendable in this respect 1. The bond of mariage is more ancient more firme more neere There was husband and wife before there was parent and child and there is a time when parents children may depart one from another and that while both liue but no time wherein man and wife may part asunder till death part them And children though they come from the flesh of their parents yet are made two so as of one are two but husbands and wiues though they were two before yet are made one so as of two is one What wrong then doe such parents vnto their children as keepe them euen after they are maried so strait vnder subiection as they cannot freely performe such duty as they ought to their husband or their wife This is more then a parents authority reacheth vnto Yet many thinke that their children owe as much seruice to them after they are maried as before which is directly against this law Greater is the wrong and more sinfull is the practise of such as keepe their children from their husbands or from their wiues The match say they falleth out much worse then we looked for But this should haue beene looked to more carefully before hand After mariage it is
vnto as if they had neuer beene ioined to a former The liuing husband or wife is the present pledge of Gods fauour He is now thine owne husband and she is now thine owne wife and not the partie that is dead I denie not but the memorie of a vertuous husband or wife ought to be pretious to the suruiuing partie for the memoriall of the iust is blessed But as the vertue of a person deceased may not be buried with the dead corps so neither may the person be kept aboue ground with the memorie of his or her vertue which after a sort is done when loue of the partie deceased either taketh away or extenuateth the loue of the liuing This is to giue dominion to the dead ouer the liuing which is more then the law enioyneth §. 11. Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue There is a generation of so crabbed and crooked a disposition as they cannot loue but rather hate one another because they are man and wife for many husbands hauing wiues and wiues husbands euery way worthy to be loued will notwithstanding say to the astonishment of the hearers I haue indeed a good husband or I haue a good wife but I cannot loue him or I cannot loue her and being demanded a reason sticke not openly and impudently to reply I thinke I could loue him if he were not mine husband or I thinke I could loue her if she were not my wife O more then monstrous impudencie Is not this directly to oppose against Gods ordinance and against that order which he hath set betwixt man and woman Is it not to trample vnder foot Gods fauour Though there were nothing else to moue loue but this that such an one is thine husband or such an one is thy wife yet this should be motiue enough And shall this be the ground of thine hatred Assuredly such a spirit is a plaine diabolicall spirit contrary to that spirit which is from aboue and if it be not cast out it will cast those whom it possesseth into the fire of hell §. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife Among other meanes of maintaining an inward louing affection betwixt man and wife outward mutuall peace concord and agreement is one of the principall Whereupon the Apostle exhorteth to keepe the vnitie of the spirit in the bond of peace for peace is a bond that tieth one to another and maketh them to be as one euen one in spirit as on the contrary side outward discord disunites mens spirits We are enioined to follow peace with all men how much more of all persons ought husbands to haue peace with their wiues and wiues with their husbands they are neerer then brothers and sisters Behold then how good and pleasant a thing it is for them to dwell together in vnity Dwell together they must but without peace there is no dwelling together It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house Persons at variance were farre better be out of sight and place then present together Out of sight and place man and wife must not be at peace therefore they must be Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreshing to their mindes being beaten with the discords of others It is said that a wife is in this respect as an hauen to man how much more man to his wife If the hauen be calme and free from stormes and tempests what a refreshing will it be to the Mariner that hath beene tossed in the sea with windes and waues For maintaining peace 1. All offences so much as possibly may be must be auoided The husband must be watchfull ouer himselfe that he giue no offence to his wife and so the wife on the other side Offences cause contentions 2. When an offence is giuen by the one partie it must not be taken by the other but rather passed by and then will not peace be broken The second blow makes the fray 3. If both be incensed together the fire is like to be the greater with the greater speed therefore must they both labour to put it out Wrath must not lie in bed with two such bed-fellowes neither may they part beds for wrath sake That this fire may be the sooner quenched they must both striue first to offer reconciliation Theirs is the glory who doe first begin for they are most properly the blessed peacemakers Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heathenish but when wrath is incensed to seeke atonement is the dutie of a Christian and a grace that commeth from aboue 4. Children seruants nor any other in the family must be bolstred vp by the one against the other The mans partaking with any of the house against his wife or the wiues against her husband is an vsuall cause of contention betwixt man and wife 5. They must forbeare to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wiues of other persons or with their owne former husbands or wiues in case they haue had any before Comparisons in this kinde are very odious They stir vp much passion and cause great contentions 6. Aboue all they must take heed of rash and vniust iealousie which is the bane of mariage and greatest cause of discontent that can be giuen betwixt man and wife Iealous persons are ready to picke quarrels and to seeke occasions of discord they will take euery word looke action and motion in the worse part and so take offence where none is giuen When iealousie is once kindled it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out It maketh the partie whom it possesseth implacable 7. In all things that may stand with a good conscience they must endeuour to please one another and either of them suffer their owne will to be crossed rather then discontent to be giuen to the other Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutuall dutie belonging to them both and expresseth their care thereof vnder a word that signifieth more then ordinarie care and implieth a diuiding of the minde into diuers thoughts casting this way and that way and euery way how to giue best content §. 13. Of contentions betwixt man and wife Contrary to mutuall peace are contentions betwixt man and wife which are too frequent in most families and by which the common good is much hindered Discord betwixt man and wife in an house is as contention betwixt the master and pilot in a ship may not great danger and much mischiefe be thence iustly feared We heard before that man to his wife and she to him is as an hauen Now by experience we finde that if the hauen be tempestuous it is much more troublesome and dangerous to the Mariner then the wide sea Wherefore let man and wife be of the same minde one to another as Abraham was to Lot and when
occasions of discord are offered say Let there be no strife betwixt thee and me for we are man and wife no more two but one flesh §. 14. Of husbands and wiues dwelling together From a mutuall affection of loue proceedeth a mutuall prouident care in husband and wife one for another In handling whereof we will first note the meanes whereby their mutuall prouidence may be the better effected and manifested and then the matter whereabout it must be conuersant The meanes in one word is cohabitation For a dutie it is that man and wife dwell together The phrase vsed in setting out the womans creation he built a woman whereby the erecting of a family is intimated implieth as much so doth the law of mariage whereby man is enioyned to leaue father and mother and to cleaue vnto his wife that is to goe out of his fathers house and to dwell with his wife and so doth this phrase forget thy fathers house taken from the dutie of a wife and mystically applied to the Church Saint Peter expresly chargeth husbands to dwell with their wiues and Saint Paul layeth it to the charge both of husbands and wiues not to leaue one another but to dwell together yea though the one be an infidell Surely it was conscience of this dutie which made the Leuite to goe after his wife that went away from him to bring her home againe and which made Iaakobs wiues to leaue their fathers house and goe with their husband The word vnder which Saint Peter compriseth this dutie is a title appropriated to an husband and an answerable title is appropriated to a wife from which the notation of our two vsuall English words husband housewife doth not much differ The power which the one hath of the others body and the aduantage which by liuing asunder they giue vnto Satan both of which are expresly noted 1 Cor. 7. 4 5. doe shew the necessity of this dutie and the many benefits arising from thence doe further presse the equity of it By husbands and wiues dwelling together all mariage duties are better performed mutuall loue is better bred preserued and increased the good gifts of either of them are better obserued by the other better helpe and succour is mutually by each afforded to the other and in fine they are made more capable of doing good one to another and of receiuing good one from another Why then should they haue any minde of liuing asunder vnlesse they be forced by extraordinary occasions as captiuity close imprisonment contagious sicknesse and such like which are no faults of theirs but crosses to be borne with griefe and instant praier together with all other good meanes to be vsed to bring them together againe Yea if the imprisonment banishment or other like kinde of absence be such as one may if they will come at the other the partie that is free ought to come to the other if at least that other require it §. 15. Of the respects for which man and wife may for a time liue asunder Quest May there be any iust causes for man and wife willingly to liue asunder Answ There can nor ought to be any cause of vtter relinquishing one another which is a kinde of desertion but for liuing asunder for a time there may be iust causes as 1. Weighty and vrgent affaires which concerne the good of the Church or commonwealth as when a man is sent forth to warre or on an ambassage in which case though he may take his wife with him yet is he not necessarily bound there to especially if the place whither he is sent be farre off the passage thereto difficult and dangerous and his abode there not long When Reuben Gad and halfe the tribe of Manassch passed ouer Iorden to helpe their brethren in their battels against the Canaanites they left their wiues behinde them in their families when Vriah went to warre he left his wife at home and when Moses was to bring Israel out of Egypt his wife remained at her fathers house 2. Maine duties of their particular calling as of Mariners who are oft to be on the sea Merchants who trade in other countries Lawyers who attend publike places of iustice Courtiers who in their months or quarters attend their Prince Keepers of women in child-bed and sicke persons and other nurses Prouided alwaies that in these and other like cases there be a ioynt and mutuall consent of both parties for if man and wife may not defraud one another for a time to giue themselues to fasting and praier without consent much lesse may they for lighter occasions liue any time asunder without consent Prouided also that they take no delight to liue asunder but rather be grieued that they are forced so to doe and in testimony thereof to take all occasions that they can to manifest their longing desire one after another by letters messages tokens and other like kindnesses and to returne with all the speed they can No distance or absence ought any whit to diminish their mutuall loue §. 16. Of the errour of Papists about man and wifes separation Contrarie to the dutie of cohabitation is the doctrine of Papists whereby they teach that Separation may be made betwixt man and wife for many causes from bed or cohabitation for a certaine or vncertaine time The Councell of Trent is bold to denounce Anathema against such as say the Church erreth therein If the many causes which they alledge besides adulterie be well weighed we shall finde them without all warrant of Gods word They draw them to two heads 1. Mutuall consent 2. Demerit By consent say they of both parties maried to attaine a greater and perfecter estate mariage consummate may be loosed from bed and cohabitation Answ 1. In mariage there is a couenant of God Prou. 2. 17. as well as of the two parties the consent therefore of parties is not sufficient to breake it 2. No estate in this world can be greater or perfecter then is meet for maried persons Adam and Eue in their best estate were maried and now is mariage honourable in all 3. The estates which they count more perfect are either such as are not in mans power as perpetuall continencie or such as may be as well performed by maried persons as by single persons as Ecclesiasticall functions if at least they be such as are warranted by Gods word High Priests and other Priests all sorts of Leuites extraordinarie Prophets and Apostles were maried What greater functions then these The causes which for demerit they say make a separation â—re 1. Adulterie 2. Departing from the Catholike faith 3. Soliâ—iting or impelling vnto sinne Concerning Adulterie we denie not but that it giueth â—ust cause of diuorce but withall we say as we haue good warrant from Christs words that it is the only cause of iust diâ—orce For to make a separation for
one in another The care which Elkanah had to carry his wiues along with himselfe vnto the Tabernacle of the Lord yeere by yeere sheweth that his desire was to vphold them in the feare of God yea the gifts and portions which at that time he vsed to bestow on them implie the care that he had to encourage them to hold on in seruing the Lord. It was without question the maine end which the Shunamite aimed at in prouiding lodging for the Prophet that both she and her husband might be built vp in Grace This duty may be the better effected by these means following 1. By taking notice of the beginning and least measure of Grace and approuing the same 2. By frequent conference about such things as concerne the same mutually propounding questions one to another thereabouts and answering the same 3. By their mutuall practise and example making themselues each to other a patterne of pietie 4. By performing exercises of religion as praying singing psalmes reading the word and the like together 5. By maintaining holy and religious exercises in the familie Though this dutie especially appertaine to the husband yet the wife must put her husband in minde thereof if he forget it and stirre him vp if he be backward Thus did the good Shunamite 2 King 4. 9 10. No mans perswasion in this kinde can so much preuaile with a man as his wiues 6. By stirring vp one another to goe to the house of God to heare the word partake of the Sacrament and conscionably performe all the parts of Gods publike worship Great need there is that husbands and wiues should endeuour to helpe forward the growth of grace in each other because we are all so prone to fall away and wax cold euen as water if the fire goe out and more fewell be not put vnder And of all other husbands and wiues may be most helpfull herein because they can soonest espie the beginning of decay by reason of their neere and continuall familiaritie together §. 28. Of the sinnes of husbands and wiues contrary to a mutuall care of one anothers saluation The vices contrary to that generall mutuall dutie of husbands and wiues in procuring the Saluation of one another and to the particular branches comprised vnder it are many As 1. A carelesse neglect thereof when as husbands and wiues so minde earthly things as they thinke it enough if they be prouident one for another in the things of this life Hereof most that liue in this earth are guiltie and among others euen many of them who haue the name of very good and kinde husbands and wiues But whatsoeuer the opinion of others be of them the truth is that if they faile in this point they goe no further then the very heathen haue done and their kindnesse may be as the apes kindnesse which causeth death 2. The vnworthy walking and vnchristian cariage of a beleeuer that is maried to one that beleeueth not hereby the vnbeleeuer is kept off from embracing the Gospell and made the more to dislike and detest it If a popish or profane husband be maried to a wife that maketh profession of the truth of the Gospell and she be stout proud wanton waspish wastefull or giuen to any other like vices will he not be ready thereupon to inueigh against the religion she professeth and vtterly protest against it So also a popish or profane wife if she be maried to such an husband 3. Negligence in obseruing one anothers disposition or conuersation whereby it commeth to passe that they keepe not backe nor restraine one another from running into any sinne but proue such husbands and wiues one to another as Eli proued a father to his sonnes whence it fell out that Gods seuere vengeance fell vpon the necke of the one and of the other Pilats wife though an heathenish woman shall rise vp in iudgement against many such wiues for she did what she could to keepe her husband from shedding innocent bloud 4. Acomplement all soothing of one anothers humour and seeking mutually to please one another in all things without respect of good or euill Such as these the Scripture termeth men-pleasers Hence it commeth to passe that husbands and wiues are so farre from drawing one another from sinne that the better rather yeelds vnto the worse and both runne into euill as Adam was perswaded by his wife to transgresse against Gods expresse charge and wise Salomon was drawne by his wiues vnto Idolatrie 1 King 11. 4. and Sapphira consented to the sacriledge of Ananias her husband Act. 5. 2. 5. An vndue feare of offending one another by Christian instruction admonition reproofe and the like Many who are oft moued in conscience to make knowne to their husbands and wiues the sinnes wherein they liue and the danger wherein they lie by reason thereof doe notwithstanding through carelesse and causelesse feare refraine and forbeare to doe so 6. An impious and enuious disposition whereby many husbands and wiues are moued to mocke and scoffe at that holy zeale and forwardnesse which they obserue in their bedfellowes as Michal who resembled Dauid to a foole or vaine-fellow because he manifested his zeale by dancing before the Arke Thus doe many nip the worke of the spirit in the very bud and cause grace soone to wither But cursed be that husband or wife that thus peruerteth the maine end of their neere coniunction §. 29. Of husbands and wiues mutuall care ouer one anothers body After the good of the soule followeth the good of the body wherein husband and wife must shew their prouident care each ouer other and doe what lieth in them to procure the well-fare of one anothers person and to nourish and cherish one anothers body This dutie the Apostle layeth down vnder the comparison of a body which he calleth flesh saying No man hateth his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it now man and wife are one flesh This dutie the Apostle in particular applieth to husbands At the first institution of mariage it was in particular applied to the wife whom God made to be an helpe meet for man so as it is a mutuall dutie appertaining to both It seemeth that Rebecha was so carefull of Isaak in this respect that she could readily make sauory meat for him such as he loued This dutie extendeth it selfe to all estates both of prosperity and aduersity of health and sicknesse for so much doe they mutually couenant and promise when they are first ioyned together in mariage I take thee saith each to other for better for worse for richer for poorer in sicknesse and in health to loue and to cherish Wherefore they ought mutually both to reioyce in the well-fare of one another and also in all distresse to succour and comfort each other putting their shoulders vnder one anothers burden and helping to ease one another as much as
then to keepe in their tongues with bit and bridle but most of all to take heed that their husbands taste not of the bitternesse thereof no not though they should by some ouersight of their husbands be prouoked It is to be noted how Salomon calleth the iarres which are betweene man and wife the contentions of a wife whereby he intimateth that she commonly is the cause thereof either by prouoking her husband or not bearing with him §. 16. Of a wiues speech of her husband in his absence The reuerence which a wife beareth to her husband must further be manifested by her speeches of him in his absence So did Sarah manifest her reuerence and so must all such as desire to be accounted the daughters of Sarah The Church speaking of her Spouse doth it with as great reuerence as if she had spoken to him It was for honour and reuerence sake that the Virgin Mary called Ioseph the Father of Iesus when she spake of him This sheweth that a wiues reuerend speeches in presence of her husband and to his face are not in flatterie to please him and fawne vpon him but in sinceritie to please God and performe her dutie Contrary therefore to their dutie deale they who in presence can afford the fairest and meek est speeches that may be to their husbands face but behinde their backs speake most reproachfully of them §. 17. Of a wiues obedience in generall Hitherto of a wiues reuerence it followeth to speake of her obedience The first law that euer was giuen to woman since her fall laid vpon her this dutie of Obedience to her husband in these words Thy desire shall be to thine husband and he shall rule ouer thee How can an husband rule ouer a wife if she obey not him The principall part of that submission which in this text and in many other places is required of a wife consisteth in obedience and therefore it is expresly commended vnto wiues in the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham Thus by Obedience doth the Church manifest her subiection to Christ The place wherein God hath set an husband namely to be an head the authoritie which he hath giuen vnto him to be a Lord and Master the duty which he requireth of him to rule doe all require obedience of a wife Is not obedience to be yeelded to an Head Lord and Master Take away all authoritie from an husband if ye exempt a wife from obedience Contrary is the stoutnesse of such wiues as must haue their own will and doe what they list or else all shall be out of quiet Their will must be done they must rule and ouer-rule all they must command not only children and seruants but husbands also if at least the husband will be at peace Looke into families obserue the estate and condition of many of them and then tell me if these things be not so If an husband be a man of courage and seeke to stand vpon his right and maintaine his authoritie by requiring obedience of his wife strange it is to behold what an hurly burly she will make in the house but if he be a milke-sop and basely yeeld vnto his wife and suffer her to rule then it may be there shall be some outward quiet The ground hereof is an ambitious and proud humour in women who must needs rule or else they thinke themselues slaues But let them thinke as they list assuredly herein they thwart Gods ordinance peruert the order of nature deface the image of Christ ouerthrow the ground of all dutie hinder the good of the family become an ill patterne to children and seruants lay themselues open to Satan and incurre many other mischiefes which cannot but follow vpon the violating of this maine duty of Obedience which if it be not performed how can other duties be expected §. 18. Of the cases wherein a wife hath power to order things of the house without her husbands consent A wiues obedience requireth Submission Contentment  Submission in yeelding to her husbands minde and will Contentment in resting satisfied and content with his estate and abilitie That Submission consisteth in two things First in abstaining from doing things against her husbands minde Secondly in doing what her husband requireth The former of these requireth that a wife haue her husbands consent for the things which she doth For the better cleering whereof we are to consider 1. What kinde of husbands they must be whose consent is required 2. How many waies his consent may be giuen 3. What are the things whereabout his consent is to be expected For the first as on the one side it oft falleth out that a wife prouident and religious man is maried to a foolish woman a very ideot that hath no vnderstanding of whom there can be no question but that such a wife is to doe nothing of her selfe and of her owne head but altogether to be ordered by her husband So on the other side it oft falleth out that a wise vertuous and gratious woman is maried to an husband destitute of vnderstanding to a very naturall as we say or a â—renzy man or to one made very blockish and stupid vnfit to manage his affaires through some distemper wound or sicknesle In such a case the whole gouernment lieth vpon the wife so as her husbands consent is not to be expected Quest What if the husband be a wicked and prophane man and so blinded and stupified in his soule doth not this spirituall blindnesse and blockishnese giue a religious wife as great libertie as naturall stupiditie Answ No verily For S. Peter exhorteth faithfull wiues that were maried to Infidell husbands to be subiect to them and that in feare The reason is cleare For spirituall blindnesse disableth not from ciuill gouernment indeed nothing that such a man doth is acceptable to God or auailable to his owne saluation but yet it may be profitable to man a wicked man may be prouident enough for wife children and whole family in outward temporall things Againe it oft falleth out that an husband is a long time farre off absent from the house sometimes by reason of his calling as an Ambassadour Souldier or Mariner sometimes also carelesly or wilfully neglecting house goods wife children and all and in his absence hath left no order for the ordering of things at home in this case also there is no question but that the wife hath power to dispose matters without her husbands consent prouided that she obserue those rules of Gods word concerning iustice equitie truth and mercie which an husband in his disposing of them ought to obserue The first of these cases declareth an impotencie in the husband the other an impossibilitie for him to order matters wherefore the wife being next to the husband the power of ordering things is diuolued on her she is not bound to haue his consent §. 19.
seruants they are the seruants of God Againe I hope none are so void of all religion and piety as to refuse to be subiect vnto Christ here then take notice that if wilfully yee refuse to be subiect to your husbands yee wilfully refuse to be subiect to Christ fitly on this ground may I apply that to wiues which the Apostle speaketh of subiects whosoeuer resisteth the power and authority of an husband resisteth the ordinance of God and they that resist shall receiue to themselues iudgement A strong motiue is this first motiue If it were duly considered of wiues they would more readily and cheerefully be subiect then many are they would not so lightly thinke of their husbands place nor so reproachfully speake against Gods Ministers who plainly declare their duty vnto them as many doe §. 71. Of an husbands office The second reason is like vnto this taken from an husbands office he is the wiues head which is also vrged to this very purpose in other places This metaphor sheweth that to his wife he is as the head of a naturall body both more eminent in place and also more excellent in dignity by vertue of both which he is a ruler and gouernour of his wife Nature teacheth vs that this is true of the head of a naturall body and the Apostle by intituling an husband an head teacheth vs that it is as true of an husband whence it followeth that it standeth with common equity and with the light of nature that the wife should be subiect to her husband This argument doth the Apostle in plaine termes vrge in another place saying doth not nature teach you c. Goe therefore ô wiues vnto the schoole of nature looke vpon the outward parts and members of your bodies Doe they desire to be aboue the head are they loth to be subiect vnto the head Let your soule then learne of your body Were it not monstrous for the side to be aduanced aboue the head If the body should not be subiect to the head would not destruction follow vpon head body and all the parts thereof As monstrous and much more monstrous is it for a wife to be aboue her husband and as great yea and greater disturbance and ruine would fall on that family The order which God hath set therein would be cleane ouerthrowne thereby and they that ouerthrow it would shew themselues oppugners of Gods wisdome in establishing order This reason drawne from nature is of force to moue very Pagans and Sauages to yeeld subiection how much more Christian wiues it being also agreeable to Gods word and ratified thereby §. 72. Of the resemblance betwixt Christ and an husband The third reason taken from an husbands resemblance vnto Christ herein addeth an edge vnto that former reason in being an head he is like Christ So as there is a kinde of fellowship and copartnership betwixt Christ and an husband they are brethren in office as two kings of seuerall places Obiect There is no equality betwixt Christ the Lord from heauen and an earthly husband the disparity betwixt them is infinite Answ Yet there may be similitude resemblance and fellowship inequality is no hinderance to these Two kings may be more different in estate then a subiect and a king yet those two kings brethren and fellowes in office There may be a resemblance where there is no parity and a likenesse where there is no equality The glorious and bright Sunne in the firmament and a dimme candle in an house haue a kinde of fellowship and the same office which is to giue light yet there is no equality betwixt them So then an husband resembleth not only the head of a naturall body but also the glorious image of Christ and is that to his wife which Christ is to his Church To apply this point marke how from it two positions worthy to be noted doe arise 1. Subiection is due to an husband as well as to Christ I say not as great because of the difference in glory but as well because of the likenesse in office A Constable though a poore meane man must be obeyed as well as an high sherife A beggars childe must obey his father as well as a kings childe Such wiues therefore who are not subiect wrong their husbands as well as they wrong Christ who are not subiect to him 2. They who by their subiection maintaine the honour of their husbands place maintaine thereby the honour of Christs place and againe by the rule of contraries They who by refusing to be subiect impeach the honour of their husbands place impeach thereby the honour of Christs place The obedience of a poore mans childe or seruant iustifieth that obedience which kings children and seruants owe their father and soueraigne and so on the contrary disobedience in meane ones dishonoureth the place of great ones The argument of Memucan drawne from the greater to the lesse in these words Vashty the Queene hath not done wrong to the king only but also to all the princes and all the people may be applied from the lesse to the greater Disobedient wiues doe wrong not only to their owne particular husbands but also to all heads euen to Christ the head of the Church If a naturall body and the Church were flexible and could be seduced and drawne to presume and rebell against their heads the ill example of wiues were enough to moue them thereunto for as much as in them lieth they by example seduce them From the last forenamed positions viz. that the obedience of a good wife maintaineth the honour of Christs place and on the contrary side that the disobedience of an ill wife impaireth the honour thereof I may iustly inferre two other conclusions 1. That Christ will assuredly reward the good subiection of good wiues for he hath said and what he hath said he can and will performe them that honour me will I honour 2. That he will sorely reuenge the rebellion of euill wiues for againe he hath said they that despise me shall be despised We know that fellowes in office are ready to stand for the credit of one anothers place and to maintaine the honour thereof and that not without good reason for thereby they maintaine their owne honour and credit Wherefore as good wiues may well expect a reward at Christs hands howsoeuer their husbands respect their obedience whether well or ill a great incouragement for wiues to performe their duties though their husbands be neuer so ill so euill wiues haue iust cause to feare reuenge at Christs hand how soeuer their husbands beare with them They who duly weigh this reason taken from that resemblance which is betwixt Christ and the Church cannot but hold it to be a motiue of great moment §. 73. Of the benefit which a wife hath by an husband The fourth reason taken from the benefit which a wife receiueth from her husband doth yet further presse the
she be accounted the best wife Answ 1. It may be she was good enough when first she was brought to thee but thou by thine euill example or negligent gouernment or hard vsage hast made her so bad as she is Which if it be so then is she to be considered not as thou hast marr'd her but as thou diddest marie her 2. Though she be not in relation to other wiues the best in condition yet in relation to thee she may be the best in euent if not for thine ease and quiet yet for triall of thy wisdome and patience and so as a schoole of vertue she may be vnto thee As a skilfull pilots sufficiency is tried and knowne by tempestuous seas so a mans wisdome by a troublesome wife Yea she may be giuen thee as a punishment of some former sinnes as seeking after a beautifull honourable rich proper wife rather then a religious and honest one or seeking her without any direction or helpe first sought of God or otherwise then thou hast warrant from God as by stealth and without parents consent or some other sinnes in another kinde to bring thee to repentance or as a meanes to restraine and weane thee from some future sinnes whereunto thou are subiect and so proue a blessed crosse to keepe thee from a fearefull curse §. 10. Of husbands preposterous opinion of their owne wiues Contrary is a corrupt and peruerse opinion which many haue of their owne wiues thinking them of all other the worst and vnfittest yea though they be such as euery way both in gifts and qualities of minde and also in grace and comelinesse of body deserue all good respect and esteeme Whereas others which looke with a single eye commend their good parts they Misinterpret and misiudge all if their wiues be religious they thinke them hypocrites if graue sober and modest melancholicke if cheerefull wanton if they keepe at home idle drones if they take occasion though neuer so iust of going abroad gadders and lightfooted This bad opinion of their wiues is a cause that their hearts are cleane remoued from their owne and set vpon strange flesh whereby the deuill gaineth what he desireth that is to put asunder such as God hath ioyned together and to ioyne those whom God hath put asunder §. 11. Of husbands intire affection to their wiues An husbands affection to his wife must be answerable to his opinion of her he ought therefore to delight in his wife intirely that is so to delight in her as wholly and only delighting in her In this respect the Prophets wife is called the desire or delight or pleasure of his eyes that wherein he most of all delighted and therefore by a propriety so called Such delight did Isaak take in his wife as it droue out a contrary strong passion namely the griefe which he tooke for the departure of his mother for it is noted that he loued her and was comforted after his mothers death This kinde of affection the wise-man doth elegantly set forth in these words Reioyce with the wife of thy youth Let her be as the louing Hinde and pleasant Roe and be thou rauisht alwaies with her loue Here note both the metaphors and also the hyperbole which are vsed to set forth an husbands delight in his wife In the metaphors againe note both the creatures whereunto a wife is resembled and also the attributes giuen to them The creatures are two an Hind and a Roe which are the females of an Hart and a Roe-Bucke now it is noted of the Hart and Roe-Bucke that of all other beasts they are most inamored as I may so speake with their mates and euen mad againe in their heat and desire after them These metaphors hath Salomon vsed to set forth that vnfained and earnest intire and ardent affection which an husband ought to beare vnto his wife which being taken in a good sense and rightly applied so as they exceed not the bonds of christian modesty and decency are very fit and pertinent to the purpose if we stretch them beyond modesty we wrong the pen-man of them or rather the Holy Ghost that directed him and propound a pernicious patterne vnto husbands The attributes giuen to the forenamed creatures much amplifie the point the former is termed a louing Hind the latter a pleasant Roe word for word an Hind of Loues a Roe of fauour that is exceedingly loued and fauoured for to set forth the extent of Gods loue vnto his Sonne Christ is called the sonne of his loue These comparisons applied to a wife doe liuely set forth that delight which an husband ought to take in her and yet is it much further amplified by the hyperbole vsed in this phrase be thou rauisht with her loue word for word erre thou in her loue by which no sinfull error or dotage is meant but a lawfull earnest affection implying two things especially First so far to exceed as to make a man ouersee some such blemishes in his wife as others would soone espie and mislike or else to count them no blemishes delighting in her neuer a whit the lesse for them For example if a man haue a wife not very beautifull or proper but hauing some deformity in her body some imperfection in her speech sight gesture or any part of her body yet so to affect her and delight in her as if she were the fairest and euery way most compleat woman in the world Secondly so highly to esteeme so ardently to affect so tenderly to respect her as others may thinke him euen to doat on her An husbands affection to his wife cannot be too great if it kept within the bonds of honesty sobriety and comelinesse The wiues affection ought to be as great to her husband yet because of the husbands place of authority he must especially take all occasions to manifest this his inward affection Read the Song of Songs and in it you shall obserue such affection manifested by Christ to his Spouse as would make one thinke he did with reuerence in an holy manner to vse the phrase euen erre in his loue and doat on her A good patterne and president for husbands For nothing is more louely them a good wife §. 12. Of the Stoicall disposition of husbands to their wiues Contrary is the disposition of such husbands as haue no heat or heart of affection in them but Stoick-like delight no more in their owne wiues then in any other women nor account them any dearer then others A disposition no way warranted by the word The faithfull Saints of God before mentioned as also many other like to them were no Stoicks without all affection nor did they thinke it a matter vnbeseeming them after a peculiar manner to delight in their wiues witnesse Isaacks sporting with his wife for this is a priuiledge which appertaineth to the estate of mariage But that I be not mistaken herein let it be noted that the
affection whereof I speake is not a carnall sensuall beastly affection but such an one as may stand with Christian grauitie and so briety hauing relation to the soule of a mans wife as well as to her body grounded both on the neere coniunction of mariage and also on the inward qualities of his wife Thus farre of an husbands inward respect of his wife It followeth to speake of his outward cariage towards her §. 13. Of an husbands kinde acceptance of such things as his wife doth S. Peter giueth a generall rule for an husbands outward cariage to his wife which is that he dwell with her according to knowledge that is as a man able to order his cariage wisely to his owne honour and his wiues good that so she may haue iust cause to blesse God that euer she was ioyned to such an husband Out of this generall these two branches sprout forth 1. That an husband giue no iust offence to his wife 2. That wisely he order that offence which is giuen by her To auoid giuing of offence he must haue respect 1. To that which she doth as duty to him 2. To that which he doth as duty to her In regard of the former two things are requisite 1. That he kindly accept what she is willing and able to doe 2. That he wisely commend and reward what she doth well Thus hauing for orders sake laid downe these heads I will distinctly handle the seuerall points The first particular wherein an husband sheweth himselfe to be a man of knowledge in walking before his wife is by a kinde and respectiue acceptation of euery good duty which his wife performeth Abraham in testimony of his good acceptance of Sarahs pains in nursing her childe made a great feast when the childe was weined and Elkanah on a like respect gaue liberty to his wife to doe what seemed her best A great incouragement must this needs be vnto wiues to be subiect vnto their husbands in all things when they obserue no part of their subiection to be carelesly neglected but rather graciously accepted it quickens the spirit of a wife to thinke that her care and pains in pleasing her husband shall not be in vaine §. 14. Of husbands sleighting and reiecting their wiues goodnesse Contrary is their practise who thinking all which a wife doth to be but her duty take little or no notice thereof or if they cannot but take notice of it yet lightly regard it and sleightly passe it ouer This oftentimes maketh a wife euen repent the good she hath done as Dauid repented the seruice which he had done for Nabal The truth is that wiues ought rather to looke vnto God for his acceptation then vnto their husbands and though their husbands will take no notice or not regard what good thing they doe yet for conscience sake and for the Lords sake to doe their duty But yet notwithstanding considering our weaknesse and backwardnesse vnto euery duty it can not be denied but that an husbands sleight regarding of his wiues goodnesse is an occasion to make her weary thereof and that he doth as much as in him lieth to make her repent thereof But what may we say of such as scornfully reiect their wiues duty yea like them the worse for making conscience thereof and so cleane contrary to the rule of christianitie ouercome goodnesse with euill Surely they shew a very diabolicall spirit to be in them and cannot but minister much griefe and offence to their wiues and make that which they doe to be very irksome and tedious Fathers ought not to prouoke their children much lesse husbands their wiues §. 15. Of husbands courteous accepting their wiues reuerend cariage For the better conceiuing of this so needfull a point I will somewhat more particularly and distinctly applie the same to the seuerall duties of a wife which were drawne to two heads Reuerence Obedience For the first if a wife manifest her dutifull respect of her husband by any reuerend behauiour gesture or speech he ought to meet her as we say in the middest of the way and manifest his gratious acceptance thereof by some like courteous behauiour gesture and speech being seemely not foolish Obiect Thus shall an husband abase himselfe and disgrace his place Answ The courtesie which I speake of as it commeth from a superiour being a meere voluntary matter and a token of kindnesse and fauour is no abasement of himselfe but an aduancement of his inferiour a great grace to her no disgrace to him Abram was counted of the Hittits a Prince of God yet in communing with them he bowed vnto them It is noted as a commendable thing in Esau that though at that time he was his brothers superiour at least he tooke himselfe so to be yet obseruing how Iaakob reuerenced him bowing seuen times to the ground he ranne to meet him and embraced him and fell on his necke Most pertinent to the point is the example of King Ahashverosh who beholding Esthers reuerend standing before him held out his Scepter vnto her which in a King is great courtesie But to put the matter out of all question let the example of Christ noted in Salomons song be obserued and we shall finde his courtesie euery way answering the reuerence of his Spouse §. 15. Of husbands too great loftinesse Contrary is a loftie carriage of husbands to their wiues who ouerlooke all reuerence shewed by wiues no more respecting their wiues in this case then children or seruants or then Kings doe respect the reuerence of their subiects Oft haue I noted that there is a great difference betwixt a wife and all other inferiours in which respect all euidences of reuerence should much better be respected yet we know that Kings and Queenes will put out their hands to be kissed by their subiects when they kneele before them which is a token of courtesie how much more ought husbands to shew courtesie Vnworthy they are to be reuerenced of their wiues who too Lord-like ouerlooke them §. 16. Of husbands ready yeelding to their wiues humble suits Againe it being a token of reuerence in a wife humbly to make knowne her desire to her husband he ought to shew so much courtesie as readily to grant her desire this courtesie the forenamed Ahashuerosh afforded to Esther Dauid to Bathsheba Isaak to Rebekah Abraham to Sarah and many other husbands to their wiues Abraham shewed herein such respect to his wife that though the thing which she desired were grieuous to him yet he yeelded to his wife Obiect God first commanded him so to doe Answ This addeth the more force vnto the argument shewing that it is Gods expresse will that an husband should shew this kinde of courtesie to his wife Much more ought a man to doe at his wiues request then at any others whether friend childe or parent yea much more free
end for which a wife was giuen a man namely to be aâ— helpe Such husbands cannot but neglect other more weighty matters which more properly belong vnto them For obserue it and you shall finde that such husbands as are most busie about the priuate affaires of the house appertaining to their wiues are most negligent of such affaires as appertaine vnto themselues they thinke they walke in integrity but yet are they not iust nor wise therein for the iust man walketh in HIS integrity and the wisdome of the prudent is to vnderstand HIS way i. that integrity which appertaineth to his owne peculiar place and his owne way but euery foole will be medling namely with things not belonging to his place 5. Who are ouer suspicious of their wiues and thereupon ouer strickt in taking account of them S. Paul calleth surmizes euill and that not without iust cause for euill they are in their nature and euill in their effects being occasions of many mischiefes but in none so euill as in husbands ouer their wiues If a wiues fidelity to whose good the welfare of the family and increase of the stocke redoundeth as well as to the husbands be without iust cause suspected who shall be trusted It is the ouerthrow of many families that seruants are trusted and not wiues Thus farre of an husbands kinde acceptance of that which his wife is willing and able to doe §. 20. Of Husbands encouraging their wiues in good things The loue which an husband oweth to his wife further reâ—uireth that he wisely commend and reward what she hath well â—one That which the Apostle faith of the Magistrates authority may fitly be applied to an husbands in relation to his wife Doe that which is good and thou shalt haue praise of the same It is expresly noted in the description of a good husband â—hat he praiseth his wife and in that he saith Giue her of the â—uit of her hands it is implied also that he rewardeth her This is an vndoubted euidence of his good acceptance of â—er duty and a further incouragement to stir her vp to goe on and continue in well doing Yea this is also an euidence of his by and delight both in her person and also in her well doing 〈◊〉 there be no delight in ones person well doing will rather stir vp enuy then ioy and they that enuy a mans well doing will neuer commend or reward him for it In an husbands commending of his wife this caueat must be put that he so order his commendation as it sauour not of flattery or dotage nor yet stir vp lust or enuy in others §. 21. Of husbands vngratefull discouraging their wiues Contrary is an vngratefull if not enuious disposition of such husbands as passing by many good things ordinarily and vsually euery day done by their wiues without any approbation commendation or remuneration are ready to dispraise the least slip or neglect in them and that in such generall termes as if they neuer did any thing well so as their wiues may well complaine and say as it is in the prouerbe Oft did I well and that heare I neuer Once did I ill and that heare I euer Yet such will be ready to praise other mens wiues and vp braid their owne wiues with the examples of those other when their owne doe farre excell them in all kinde of goodnesse What doth this shew but that either they take no notice of their own wiues goodnesse or else by reason of the commonnesse thereof little regard it If their wiues haue not the more grace in them this disposition is enough not only to discourage them from doing any good duty but also to breed iealousie in them and to alienate their hearts from them §. 22. Of an husbands mildnesse Hitherto of that respect which an husband is to haue of that duty which his wife performeth to him For auoiding iust offence an husband must further haue good respect to that which as duty he doth to his wife As kindly he must accept duty at his wiues hands so mildly he must performe that duty which he oweth to her This mildnesse is an especiall fruit and euidence of loue and a notable meanes to take away all offence that otherwise might be taken from many things which he doth Sugar and Hony are not more pleasant to the tongue then mildnesse to the heart it causeth such things as otherwise are irksome and grieuous to the soule to be well taken and applied euen as bitter pils dipt in sweet syrrop or rolled vp in the soft pap of an apple are soone swallowed downe and well digested If an husband desire to be accounted a seruant of the Lord he must learne this lesson For the seruant of the Lord must be gentle to all men If any other seruant of the Lord much more husbands if to all men most of all to their wiues and that in many respects 1. Because of the neere vnion betwixt man and wife 2. Because of the ioynt authority she hath with him ouer others that herein he may be a president and example to her 3. Because of her weaknesse glasses are tenderly handled a small knocke soone breakes them §. 23. Of husbands bitternesse Contrary is bitternesse a vice expresly forbidden and that in particular to husbands A vice that cannot stand with an husband-like loue whereupon the Apostle commanding the one forbiddeth the other Loue saith he and be not bitter Nothing more turneth the edge of his authority peruerteth the vse of his gouernment prouoketh the stomacke of his wife maketh his words and deeds lesse regarded then bitternesse It is as gall and wormwood mixed with sweet and wholesome meats which causeth that they cannot be well digested but with violence are spit out againe so soone as euer they be tasted Men in authority are much prone hereunto and therefore O husbands be so much the more watchfull against it loue your wiues and be not bitter vnto them §. 24. Of the Titles which an husband giueth to his wife The forenamed mildenesse of an husband must be manifested in his Speech Cariage  For so far as reuerence extends it selfe in the duties of wiues must mildnesse be extended in the duties of husbands Whether an husbands speech be to his wife before her face or of her behinde her backe it must be sweetned with mildnesse 1. For his speech to her 1. The titles wherewith he calleth her 2. The instructions which he giueth her 3. The commandements which he layeth vpon her 4. The reproofes wherewith he checketh her must all be mixed with mildnesse Among other titles the most ordinary and vsuall title wife is a milde and kinde title and least offensiue of all other if an husband giue any other title to his wife it must be such an one as manifesteth kindnesse familiaritie loue and delight Such are all the titles which Christ giueth
 his wife we will consider the Extent thereof Continuance   It ought to extend both to her selfe and to others In regard of her selfe to her Soule Body  For her Soule meanes of spirituall edification must be provided and those both priuate and publike Priuate meanes are holy and religious exercises in the house as reading the word praier catechising and such like which being the spirituall food of the soule are to be euery day as our bodily food prouided and vsed An husband as a master of a family must provide these for the good of his whole house but as an husband in speciall for the good of his wife for to his wife as well as to the whole house he is a King a Priest and a Prophet By himselfe therefore for his wiues good ought he to performe these things or to prouide that they may be done by some other Câ—raelius himselfe performed those exercises Micah hired a Leuite though his Idolatry were euill yet his care to haue a Leuite in his house was commendable The Shunemites husband prouided a chamber for the Prophet and that especially for his wiues sake for it was at her request Publike meanes are the holy ordinances of God publikly performed by Gods Minister The care of an husband for his wife in this respect is so to order his habitation and prouide other needfull things as his wife may be made partaker thereof It is expresly noted of Elkanah that he so prouided for his wiues that they went with him euery yeere to the house of God the like is intimated of Ioseph the husband of the virgin Mary In those daies there was a publike place and house of God whither all Gods people how farre soeuer they dwelt from it were to resort euery yeere the places where Elkanah and Ioseph dwelt were farre remote from the house of God yet they so prouided as not only themselues but their wiues also went to the publike worship of God Now there are many houses of God places for the publike worship of God but yet through the corruption of our times the ministery of the word the most principall meanes of spirituall edification is not euery where to be enioyed therefore such ought an husbands care for his wife in this respect to be as to dwell where she may haue the benefit of preaching the word or else so to prouide for her as she may weekly goe where it may be had If men of wisdome and abilitie make a purchase or build an house for their habitation they will be sure it shall be where sweet riuers and waters are and good pasture ground and where all needfull prouision may be had Gods word preached is a spring of water of life the place where it is preached a pleasant profitable pasture all needfull prouision for the soule may there be had Let this therefore be most of all inquired after and no habitation setled but where this may be had §. 48. Of neglecting their wiues edification Contrary is their practise who hauing their calling in places where the word is plentifull yet vpon outward respects of pleasure delight ease and profit remoue their families into remote places where preaching is scarce if at all and there leaue their wiues to gouerne the family not regarding their want of the word for as much as they themselues oft comming to London or other like places by reason of their calling enioy the word themselues Many Citizens Lawyers and others are guiltie of great neglect of their wiues in this respect So also are they who abandon all religious exercises out of their houses making their houses rather stewes of the deuill then Churches of God If for want of meanes either publike or priuate a wife liue and die in ignorance profanenesse infidelitie and impenitencie which cause eternall damnation assuredly her bloud shall be required at his hands for an husband is Gods watchman to his wife §. 49. Of an husbands prouiding things needfull for his wiues boay To the body also must an husbands prouident care of his wife extend and that both in health and sicknesse In health by prouiding such things as are needfull to preserue health as competent food raiment and the like necessaries Where the Prophet to aggrauate the misery of the people saith Seuen women shall take hold of one man saying We will eat our owne bread and weare our owne apparell only let vs be called by thy name intimateth that it was an husbands dutie to prouide bread and apparell that is all necessaries for his wife Which the law also implieth where it inioyneth him that taketh one wife vpon another not to diminish the food and raiment of the former In sicknesse such things are to be prouided as are needfull either to recouer her health or to comfort cherish and refresh her in her sicknesse This was before noted among common mutuall duties for by vertue of the matrimoniall bond it belongeth both to man and wife but to the man it appertaineth by vertue of that power and charge which he hath ouer his wife and therefore it was needfull here to be touched §. 50. Of an husbands prouident care for his wife about her child-bearing Most proper to this place is that prouident care which husbands ought to haue of their wiues both before and in the time of their trauell and child-bed and that in two things especially 1. In procuring for their wiues to the vttermost of their power and abilitie such things as may saue their longing in case they doe long as in all ages women in the time of breeding and bearing childe haue beene subiect thereunto For it is well knowne that it is very dangerous both for mother and childe to want her longing the death sometimes of the one sometimes of the other sometimes of both hath followed thereupon 2. In prouiding such things as are needfull for their trauell and lying in childbed This time is especially to be prouided for in many respects 1. Because it is a time of weaknesse wherein the woman cannot well prouide for her selfe 2. Because her weaknesse is ioyned with much paine the paine of a women in trauell is the greatest paine that ordinarily is endured by any for the time none know it so well as they that feele it and many husbands because they are not subiect thereto thinke but lightly of it but if we duly weigh that the holy Ghost when he would set forth the extremitie of any paines and pangs resembleth them to the paines of a woman in trauell we may well gather that of all they are the greatest which is further manifested by the screekes and outcries which not only weake and faint-hearted women vtter in the time of their trauell but also are forced from the strongest and stoutest women that be and that though before hand they resolue to the contrary Neither may we wonder thereat for their body
which she did it is said The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her 2. In that after all her good deedes are reckoned vp it is said Her husband praiseth her After this patterne it is meete that other husbands whose wiues are wise and faithfull should deale with their wiues that in the house they might haue the more honour of children and seruants and that out of the house they might giue the better tryall of their charity For considering the many excellent promises that are made to workes of mercy and charity and the many terrible threatnings that are denounced not onely against such as exercise cruelty but also against such as shew no mercy considering also that wiues together with their husbands are heires of the grace of life it is very needfull yea euen necessary that they should manifest their faith by some worke of mercy and charity Now vnlesse her husband doe giue vnto her something at her owne discretion to bestow on others true and through try all of her mercifull and charitable minde cannot be made If she giue of that which her husband hath reserued to himselfe as her giuing is vnlawfull so she may be thought liberall not because she is mercifull but because notwithstanding her liberality she parteth with nothing of her owne yea though she haue a generall consent to giue as she seeth cause of the common goods of the family yet is not that so sure and sound a tryall of her charity and mercifulnesse as if she had something of her owne which she might retaine or giue away as pleaseth her selfe and what she giues not away lay vp as her owne stocke proper to her selfe For there is naturally such a selfe loue in man and a desire to keepe that which is proper to ones selfe that he is very loath to part with any of it vnlesse conscience and grace alter this corruption of nature and so moue him readily to lay out something on charitable vses But otherwise of that which in whole or in part belongeth to another be that other husband parent master friend or any else he is easily moued to be liberall and bountifull a man will willingly cut a large thong as we speake out of anothers leather It is knowne that many children and seruants who when they come to be possessers of their owne are very niggards and misers haue beene liberall of their parents and masters goods vnto the poore Yea parteners in a stocke will be much more forward in giuing away that which is common with another then that which is proper to each of them The truest triall of a mercifull and charitable heart lieth in the distribution of that which is proper to ones selfe It is therefore meet vpon this very ground that an husband should according to his ability let his wife haue some stocke and portion of her owne free to her selfe to dispose as she seeth good intimating vnto her that the principall end why he prouideth so plentifully for her is that she may shew forth the fruits of her faith by some workes of charity and exhorting her so to doe Many religious wise kinde husbands thus doe some giuing quarterly allowance in money to their wiues others giuing their wiues power to receiue a certaine portion of rent out of certaine lands or houses others making their wiues an absolute estate of some inheritance and suffering them to receiue the profits and reuenewes thereof others giuing them certaine fees of their offices or of their trade others that are poore suffering them to worke for themselues dispose their earnings as they see cause some one way some another euery one in his place best knoweth the meanes how to gratifie his wife in this kinde it shall be sufficient for me to haue laide downe the generall rule §. 55. Of husbands too great straitnesse ouer their wiues Contrary is their strait-handednesse to their wiues who allow them no more then may be for their owne priuat vse They thinke it a great matter and as much as an husband is bound to doe to let her haue apparrell meat and drinke and such necessaries as are befitting her ranke but all other ouerplus they thinke needlesse Thus their wiues are not only depriued of meanes to gaine respect of their children and seruants at home and to gratifie such as are obedient and ready to doe seruice to them but also to performe such workes of mercie as both opportunity requireth and also their conscience moueth them to doe Yea many wiues of rich husbands are brought to great shame hereby in that being in places where there is iust occasion of contributing to some charitable vse and by reason of their rich and costly apparell it is expected they should be bountiful they haue not any thing at all to bestow The fault of some husbands in this respect is great many waies As 1. in that they bring shame and griefe to their wiues whom they ought with all tendernesse to respect 2. In that they dishonour their owne places for they who take notice of this straitnesse to their wiues will be ready to iudge them both couetous and vnkinde 3. The omitting of that worke of mercie which their wiues should haue done shall be laid to their charge they shall heare that dreadfull doome Goe yee cursed into euerlasting fire for I was an hungred and yee fed me not c. and if they answer When saw we thee an hungred c. it shall be replied In that yee suffered not your wiues to doe it you did it not Thus much of the extent of an husbands prouident care for the good of his wife It followeth to speake of the continuance thereof §. 57. Of an husbands care to prouide for his wife so long as she shall liue The continuance of an husbands prouident care for his wife must be so long as she liueth yea though she out-liue him not that he can actually when he is dead prouide for her but that he may before his death so prouide for her as she may haue wherewithall to maintaine her selfe and to liue according to that place whereunto by him she is aduanced at least that he leaue her not only so much as he had with her but something more also in testimony of his loue to her and care for her Husbands haue the example of Christ to presse this duty vpon them for when he went away from his Church here on earth he left his spirit which furnished it with gifts as plentifully as if Christ had still remained with her if not more aboundantly For the better performance of this duty husbands which die before the wiues must obserue among other things two especially 1. That plainly and expresly they declare their minde and will before they die lest their wiues should be circumuented and defrauded of that which they intended them Thus did Dauid vpon the motion of Bathshebah he setled his estate and caused Bathshebahs sonne to be
that fathers can endure therein Their fault therefore must needs be the greater if any way they be an occasion of their childes putting forth to nurse which I haue the rather noted because husbands for the most part are the cause that their wiues nurse not their owne children and that partly by suffering and partly by egging them on to put out their children If husbands were willing that their wiues should performe this dutie and would perswade and incourage them thereto and afford them what helpes they could where one mother now nurseth her childe twenty would doe it §. 17. Of parents ioynt care about their childrens Baptisme There is a further dutie to be performed of parents to their children euen in their infancy and that is in regard of their spirituall good which is this Parents ought to procure that their children be rightly baptized in due season This is indeed a common dutie appertaining to both parents but most principally to the father and that for two reasons 1. The father is the chiefe and principall Gouernour and hath the greatest charge accordingly he ought to haue the greatest care euen in such matters as are common to both 2. The mother at that time by reason of her trauell and deliuery is weake and not in case to haue her head much troubled with many cares much lesse able her selfe to take order for such weighty matters Only the husband is to make knowne to his wife if she be not extraordinarily weake what his purpose is concerning the place time manner and other like circumstances of baptizing the childe and to aduise with her about the name witnesses and such like points And if the husband be too backward and negligent the wife ought so farre as she is able to put him in minde of his dutie therein and to stirre him vp by her selfe or some other to performe it §. 18. Of the reasons to moue parents to see their children baptized That parents are bound to procure Baptisme for their children these reasons declare 1. The commandement of God concerning circumcising â—hildren in the roome whereof Baptisme succeedeth now â—nder the Gospell Col. 2. 11 12. Gods commandement to â—his dutie was first giuen to Abraham and that for himselfe â—nd all his posterity to obserue Gen. 17. 10. After this it was â—n the law laid downe as a positiue statute Leu. 12. 3. 2. The practise of the Iewes in a faithfull and constant obâ—â—ruance of this ordinance as of Abraham of Zachary and â—lizabeth of Ioseph and Mary and many others Obiect The children which were borne in the wildernesse were not circumcised Answ They had no abiding place in the wildernesse but were euer and anon remouing so as it would haue beene dangerous for the children to haue beene circumcised in that extraordinary case this rule tooke place I will haue mercy and not sacrifice 3. The practise of Christians who beleeuing were themselues and their whole houshold baptized Vnder whole houshold children must needs be comprised 4. Christs embracing and blessing such children as were brought to him and rebuking those that would haue kept them from him 5. The promise of God made to them for seeing God is so gratious as to extend his promise to our children our care must be to procure the seale which God offereth for the confirmation of that promise 6. The right they haue to Gods Kingdome Baptisme is an euidence of that their right It is parents duty to get them that euidence If children haue iust title to any lands and reuenues or to any earthly honours and dignities parents will doe what they can to make that title sure vnto them euen in their infancy much more carefull should they be to make that rich and glorious inheritance which is in heauen reserued for them as sure vnto them as they can now no better meanes for the effecting of this then Baptisme 7. Their conception and birth in sinne Children drew contagion from their parents therefore great reason it is that their parents should see them washed with the water of regeneration 8. The comfort which from the performance of this dutie will arise to Christian parents yea and to the children also themselues when they come to the age of vnderstanding When parents behold the couenant of God surely sealed and confirmed to their children they cannot if at least they beare any loue to their children but much reioyce therein And it must needs also much comfort the childe when being of vnderstanding he shall know that from his infancy he hath caried the seale and pledge of his regeneration 9. The constant continued custome of the true catholicke Church which euer since the Apostles time hath afforded the sacrament of baptisme to children §. 19. Of Parents procuring their children to be rightly baptized There being such forceable motiues to stirre vp parents to performe the dutie which motiues shew it to be a weightie dutie I will further shew how this dutie ought to be performed Two things in childrens baptisme ought to be obserued 1. That it be rightly done 2. That it be seasonably done In the right performance thereof some things are necessarie and some expedient Things of necessitie are these especially 1. That the childe be baptized by a Minister of the word 2. That it be baptized with the element of water the only element sanctified to this purpose 3. That the forme prescribed by Christ Matth. 28. 19. be vsed In the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the Holy Ghost whereby the vnitie of the Godhead and trinitie of Persons is plainly set forth 4. That the proper rite be vsed of applying the water to the bodie of the childe so as at least the face of the childe may be sprinkled therewith Things of expediencie are 1. That the childe be baptized in a publike place where Gods people ordinarily meet together being set apart for the worship and seruice of God 2. That such a time be chosen out as an assembly of Saints may be there present These two circumstances are the rather to be obserued because Baptisme is one of the solemne parts of Gods publike worship a pledge of our incorporation into the bodie of Christ and communion of his Saints and therefore with the more solemnitie as a matter of great moment before many witnesses with the assistance of the faithfull prayers of an assembly of Saints to be performed §. 20. Of Parents care to giue a fit name to their childe at his Baptisme A third matter of great expediencie about a childs baptisme is that Parents be carefull in giuing a fit name It belongeth to Parents to giue the name to their childe for so holy parents whose patterne in Scripture is in this respect commended vnto vs haue done from time to time and for their warrant to doe it it is worthy to be noted that when God was pleased to appoint a name to a
pure cheerefull constant for conscience sake § 54 55 c. TREAT IV.  Particular duties of Husbands  WJsdome and Loue the generall heads of all husbands duties § 2 4.  1 Acknowledgment of a wiues neere coniunction and fellowship with her husband § 6. 2 A good esteeme of his owne wise to be the best for him and worthy of loue on his part § 9. 3 An inward intire affection § 11. 4 An outward amiable cariage towards his wife which consisteth in an husband-like grauitie mildnesse courteous acceptance of her curtesie and allowing her to weare fit apparell § 4 15 22 40 49. 5 Milde and louing speech to and of his wife § 24 25 26 c. 6 A wise maintaining his authoritie and forbearing to exact all that is in his power § 4 18. 7 A ready yeelding to his wiues request and giuing a generall consent and libertie vnto her to order the affaires of the house children seruants c. And a free allowing her something to bestow as she seeth occasion § 18 54. 8 A forbearing to exact more then his wife is willing to doe or to force her to dwell where it is not meet or to enioyne her to doe things vnmeet in themselues or against her minde § 18 26. 9 A wise ordering of reproofe not vsing it without iust and weighty cause and then priuatly and meekly § 35 38. 10 A prouident care for his wife according to his abilitie § 46 49 50 52. 11 A forbearing to exact any thing which stands not with a good conscience § 26. 12 Such a loue as Christ beareth to the Church and man to himselfe which is first free in deed and truth pure chaste constant § 61 c. and 74. TREAT III.  Aberrations of Wiues from their particular duties  AMbition the generall ground of the aberrations of wiues § 2.  1 A conceit that wiues are their husbands equals § 4. 2 A conceit that she could better subiect her selfe to any other man then to her owne husband § 6. 3 An inward despising of her husband § 8. 4 Vnreuerend behauiour towards her husband manifested by lightnesse fullennesse scornfulnes and vanitie in her attire § 9 10 11 12. 5 Vnreuerend speech to and of her husband § 13 14 15 16. 6 A stout standing on her owne will § 17. 7 A peremptorie vndertaking to doe things as she list without and against her husbands consent This is manifested by priuie purloyning his goods taking allowance ordering children seruants and cattell feasting strangers making iourneyes and vowes as her selfe listeth § 42. 8 An obstinate standing vpon her owne will making her husband dwell where she will and refusing to goe when he calls or to doe any thing vpon his command § 44 45 46 67. 9 Disdaine at reproofe giuing word for word and waxing worse for being reproued § 47 48. 10 Discontent at her husbands estate § 50. 11 Such a pleasing of her husband as offendeth Christ § 53. 12 Such a subiection as is most vnlike to the Churches viz. fained forced fickle c. § 56 c. TREAT IV.  Aberrations of Husbands from their particular duties  WAnt of wisdome and loue the generall ground of the aberrations of husbands § 3 5.  1 Too meane account of wiues § 8. 2 A preposterous conceit of his owne wife to be the worst of all and that he could loue any but her § 10. 3 A Stoicall disposition without all heat of affection § 12. 4 An vnbeseeming cariage towards his wife manifested by his basenesse tyrannicall vsage of her loftinesse harshnesse and niggardlinesse § 5 15 17 41 44 53. 5 Harsh proud and bitter speeches to and of his wife § 24 25 30 32 36 39. 6 Losing of his authoritie § 5. 7 Too much strictnesse ouer his wife This is manifested by restraining her from doing any thing without particular and expresse consent taking too strict account of her and allowing her no more then is needfull for her owne priuate vse § 19 55. 8 Too lordly a standing vpon the highest step of his authoritie being too frequent insolent and peremptorie in commanding things friuolous vnmeet and against his wiues minde and conscience § 30 32. 9 Rashnesse and bitternesse in reprouing and that too frequently on sleight occasions and disgracefully before children seruants and strangers § 36 38 39. 10 A carelesse neglect of his wife and niggardly dealing with her and that in her weaknesse § 46 51 53 11 A commanding of vnlawfull things § 26 30 32. 12 Such a disposition as is most vnlike to Christs and to that which a man beareth to himselfe viz. complementall impure for by-respects vnconstant c. § 62 c. and 74. A Table of the seuerall points handled in the eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties I. TREATISE An exposition of that part of Scripture out of which domesticall duties are raised § 1 OF the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars pag. 1 2 Of ioyning seruice to men with praising of God 2 3 Of euery ones submitting himselfe to another 4 4 Of the feare of God 8 5 Of the feare of God mouing vs to doe seruice to men 11 6 Of limiting all dutie to man within the compasse of the feare of God 13 7 Of performing the duties of particular callings 16 8 Of the lawfulnesse of priuate functions in a family 17 9 Of the Apostles order in laying downe the duties of husbands and wiues in the first place 20 10 Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place 21 11 Of the reasons why wiues duties are first taught 25 12 Of wiues subiection 26 13 Of the persons to whom wiues must be subiect 27 14 How an husband is his wiues head 29 15 Of the resemblance of an husband to Christ 30 16 Of the resemblance betwixt The Church to Christ 31 A wife to her husband   17 Of the relation betwixt Christ and the Church 32 18 Of the benefit of Christs headship 34 19 Of Christ a sufficient Sauiour 35 20 Of Christ the only Sauiour 36 21 Of the Church the body of Christ 38 22 Of the extent of Christs goodnesse to all his body 38 23 Of the restraint of the benefit of Christs headship to them only that are of his body 40 24 Of the Churches subiection to Christ 41 25 Of the extent of the Churches subiection 42 26 Of the summe of husbands duties 43 27 Of the example of Christs loue 44 28 Of Christs giuing himselfe 46 29 Of the willingnesse of Christ to die 47 30 Of the kinde of Christs death and oblation 48 31 Of the infinite value of the price of our redemption 48 32 Of Christs seeking the good of the Church 50 33 Of the particular ends why Christ gaue himselfe and of the condition of the Church before Christ tooke her 51 34 Of Christs preuenting grace 54 35 Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure 55 36 Of
father and master Thus is their breach of dutie a double fault one in respect of the party whom they wrong and to whom they denie dutie the other in respect of those to whom they giue occasion of sinning Know therefore O husbands and wiues that yee aboue all other in the familie are most bound vnto a conscionable performance of your dutie Greater will your condemnation be if you faile therein Looke to it aboue the rest and by your example draw on your children and seruants if you haue any to performe their duties which surely they will more readily do when they shall behold you as guides going before them and making conscience of your ioynt and seuerall duties §. 10. Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place In handling the duties of the first forenamed couple the Apostle beginneth with wiues and layeth downe their particular duties in the first place The reason of this order I take to be the inferiority of the wife to her husband I doe the rather take it so to be because I obserue this to be his vsuall method and order first to declare the duties of inferiours and then of superiours For in handling the duties of children and parents and of seruants and masters he beginneth with the inferiours both in this and in other Epistles which order also S. Peter obserueth yea the law it selfe doth in the first place and that expresly mention the inferiours dutie only implying the superiours to follow as a iust consequence which is this If the inferiour must giue honour and by vertue thereof performe such duties as appertaine thereto then must the superiour carrie himselfe worthy of honour and by vertue thereof performe answerable duties Quest Why should inferiours duties be more fully expressed and placed in the first ranke Answ Surely because for the most part inferiours are most vnwilling to vndergoe the duties of their place Who is not more ready to rule than to be subiect I denie not but that it is a farre more difficult and hard matter to gouerne well than to obey well For to rule and gouerne requireth more knowledge experience wisdome care watchfulnesse diligence and other like vertues than to obey and be subiect He that obeyeth hath his rule laid before him which is the will and command of his superiour in things lawfull and not against Gods will But the superiour who commandeth is to consider not only what is lawfull but also what is most fit meet conuenient and euery way the best yea also he must forecast for the time to come and so farre as he can obserue whether that which is now for the present meet enough may not be dangerous for the time to come and in that respect vnmeet to be vrged Whence it followeth that the superiour in authoritie may sinne in commanding that which the inferiour in subiection may vpon his command doe without sinne Who can iustly charge Ioab with sinne in numbring the people when Dauid vrged him by vertue of his authoritie so to doe Yet did Dauid sinne in commanding it Without all question Saul did sin in charging the people by an oath to eat no food the day that they pursued their enemies a time when they had most need to be refreshed with food as Ionathans words implie and yet did not the people sinne in forbearing witnesse the euent that followed on Ionathans eating though he knew not his fathers charge Who seeth not hereby that it is a matter of much more difficultie to rule well than to obey which is yet further euident by Gods wise disposing prouidence in ordering who should gouerne who obey Commonly the younger for age the weaker for sex the meaner for estate the more ignorant for vnderstanding with the like are in places of subiection but the elder stronger wealthier wiser and such like persons are for the most part or at least should be in place of authority Woe to thee ô land saith Salomon when thy king is a childe And Isaiah denounceth it as a curse to Israel that children shall be their Princes and babes shall rule ouer them and complaineth that women had rule ouer the people Now to returne to the point though it be so that gouernours haue the heauiest burden laid on their shoulders yet inferiours that are under subiection thinke their burden the heauiest and are lothest to beare it and most willing to cast it away For naturally there is in euery one much pride and ambition which as dust cast on the eies of their vnderstanding putteth out the sight thereof and so maketh them affect superiority and authority ouer others and to be stubborne vnder the yoke of subiection which is the cause that in all ages both by diuine and also by humane lawes penalties and punishments of diuers kinds haue beene ordained to keepe inferiours in compasse of their dutie and yet such is the pride of mans heart all will not serue What age what place euer was there which hath not iust cause to complaine of subiects rebellion seruants stubbornnesse childrens disobedience wiues presumption Not without cause therefore doth the Apostle first declare the duties of inferiours Besides the Apostle would hereby teach those who are vnder authority how to moue them that are in authority ouer them to deale equally and kindly not hardly and cruelly with them namely by endeuouring to performe their owne dutie first For what is it that prouoketh wrath rage and fury in gouernours What maketh them that haue authority to deale roughly and rigorously is it not for the most part disobedience and stoutnesse in those that are vnder gouernment though some in authority be so proud so sauage and inhumane as no honour done to them no performance of duty can satisfie and content them but they will as Dauids enemies reward euill for goodnesse yet the best generall direction that can be prescribed to inferiours to prouoke their gouernours to deale well with them is that inferiours themselues be carefull and conscionable in doing their duty first If their gouernours on earth be nothing moued therewith yet will the highest Lord in heauen graciously accept it Lastly men must first learne to obey well before they can rule well for they who scorne to be subiect to their gouernours while they are vnder authority are like to proue intolerably insolent when they are in authority Learne all that are vnder authority how to win your gouernours fauour how to make your yoke easie and your burden light how to preuent many mischiefes which by reason of the power of your superiours ouer you may otherwise fall vpon you First doe ye your duty There are many weighty reasons to moue gouernours first to begin to doe their dutie For First by vertue of their authority they beare Gods image therefore in doing their duty they honour that image Secondly by
that we might be of his flesh Thus saith Christ of himselfe I came downe from heauen to doe the will of him that sent me And this is the Fathers will which hath sent me that of all which he hath giuen me I should lose nothing but should raise it vp againe at the last day The Spirit applieth vnto vs the vertue and efficacie of the flesh of Christ and so finisherh this blessed worke It is the Spirit that quickneth the flesh profiteth nothing namely of it selfe without the Spirit Thus we see that the applying of this worke of regeneration vnto Christ excludeth not the worke of the Father or of the Holy Ghost therein but excludeth the worke of man so as it is not of our selues nor of our parents nor of any other man for we are borne not of bloud nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man but of God in which respect our new birth is said to be from aboue Obiect How is it then attributed to the word and to the ministerie of man Answ As vnto instruments which the Lord is pleased to vse Of the word it is said God hath begotten vs with the word of himselfe a Minister thus saith the Apostle In Christ Iesus I haue begotten you so as God and Christ are ioyned with these instruments or else they are no whit powerfull and effectuall for so great a worke for neither is he that planteth any thing nor he that watreth but God that giueth the increase The worke of regeneration is a new creation a diuine worke aboue humane straine It must therefore be wrought by the Lord or it cannot be wrought at all This is to be noted both of those that haue not yet assurance of this blessed worke wrought in them and also of those who haue assurance thereof The former may here learne whither to haue recourse for it namely to him who came downe from heauen for that purpose and who saith Him that commeth vnto me I will in no wise cast out In all the meanes that we vse let vs looke vp vnto him and seeke a blessing of him The latter must with the tenth leper returne backe vnto Christ and glorifie God Whatsoeuer the meanes were or whosoeuer the Minister was the praise and glorie of all must be giuen to him §. 77. Of the matter of our regeneration Christ The preposition OF twice set downe OF his flesh and OF his bones being a proper note of the materiall cause sheweth that Christ is not only the author but the matter also of our new birth The new spirituall being which the Saints haue commeth out of him From him all the bodie hauing nourishment increaseth with the increase of God In this respect we are said to be blessed with all spirituall blessings in Christ The metaphor of a vine which Christ taketh vnto himselfe proueth also as much so doe these phrases My flesh is meat indeed my bloud is drinke indeed This Christ commeth to be by his incarnation God in himselfe is as a bottomlesse and a closed fountaine from him immediately we can receiue nothing But Christ made flesh is a fountaine opened In him all fulnesse dwelleth And of him haue all we receiued euen grace for grace Behold here the benefit of Christs incarnation by his taking part of our mortall flesh are we made partakers of his spirituall flesh namely of that spirituall life and grace which commeth from him who was made flesh to conuey the same into vs. To strengthen our faith the more firmly herein the Lord hath instituted the holy Communion of his bodie and bloud With what conscience reuerence and confidence ought this blessed Sacrament to be celebrated By this Doctrine we may further learne how to seeke euery thing at Gods hands which we desire to obtaine and how to offer that sacrifice of praise vnto God which wee would haue to be accepted namely in and through Iesus Christ by whom only we haue all that communion which we haue with God Well therefore doth the Church conclude all her formes of Prayers and Praises with this or such a like clause through Iesus Christ our Lord. §. 78. Of the excellency of Regeneration The particular matter of our regeneration the flesh and bones of Christ here expressed sheweth that Regeneration is a most excellent worke The excellencie hereof will the better appeare if we compare it with the great and glorious worke of our creation and shew how farre it surpasseth it wherein I will hold close to this metaphor and touch no other differences then it doth point out vnto vs. 1. In our creation Christ was only a worker but he is the verie matter of our Regeneration we are of his flesh 2. The relation that then was betwixt Christ and man was Creator but here Head We are members of his bodie Creature  Bodie   The bond is now much neerer 3. The being which then we had was from Adam But the being which now we haue is from Christ of HIS flesh 4. That being was but naturall This is spirituall for that which is borne of the Spirit is Spirit 5. Then our being was different from Christs but now it is the verie same with Christs Of his flesh 6. Then might man cleane fall from that estate wherein he was created as he did and yet Christ remaine as he was Now it cannot be so For if any of the Saints now fall away either Christ must fall with them or they must be pulled from Christ and so Christ remaine a maimed bodie Behold the riches of Gods mercie One might thinke it sufficient and more then man could euer haue beene thankfull enough for that God at first created man after his owne image in a most happie estate From which when we wittingly and wilfully fell God might iustly haue left vs as he did the euill Angels But he hath not only restored vs againe to that former estate but aduanced vs to a farre more excellent and glorious estate wherein his goodnesse appeareth to be as his greatnesse infinite incomprehensible Who can sufficiently set it forth For as the heauen is high aboue the earth so great is his mercie toward them that feare him §. 79. Of the ancient Law of mariage EPHES. 5. 31. For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and shall be ioyned vnto his wife and they two shall be one flesh THe same points which were before laid downe concerning the neere vnion of man and wife and of Christ and the Church are here further confirmed by the ancient law of mariage which the Apostle doth the rather mention because it followeth vpon that text whereunto he alluded in the former verse For when Moses had alledged these words of Adam concerning Eue This is bone of my bones and flesh of my
appeare by a particular consideration of the three forenamed properties of this matrimoniall bond the preheminencie firmnesse and neerenesse thereof §. 86. Of Christs leauing his Father and mother for his spouse I. The preheminencie of the matrimoniall bond betwixt Christ and the Church herein appeareth that Christ left his Father and his mother for his spouse the Church As Christ is God God is his Father as man the Virgin Marie was his mother Now the leauing of his Father must be taken only by way of resemblance in that he came from the place of his Fathers habitation to the place where his Spouse was The Scripture saith that he was in the bosome of his Father by him as one brought vp with him his daily delight reioycing alway before him yet descended he into the lowest parts of the earth where his spouse was He came out from the Father and came into the world But truly and properly did he preferre his Spouse before his mother For when he was instructing his Spouse and his mother came to interrupt him he said to his mother who is my mother and to his Spouse behold my mother Of the same minde must the Church and all that are of the Church be vnto Christ she must forget her owne people and fathers house Seeing Christ hath gone before vs and giuen vs so good an example what an high point of ingratitude would it be for vs to preferre father mother or any other before Christ our husband Note what he saith in this case He that loueth father or mother more then me is not worthie of me And againe If any come vnto me and hate not his father and mother he cannot be mine To hate here is to be so farre from preferring father mother before Christ as rather then not to loue Christ to hate father and mother Or so intirely to loue Christ aboue all as our loue of parents in comparison thereof to be an hatted Thus Leui said vnto his father and mother I haue not seene him for they obserued the word and kept the couenant of Christ This then is our dutie that we suffer not any naturall affection and dotage on our parents to swallow vp that loue we owe to Christ as Pharaohs ill-fauourèd and leane-fleshed kine eat vp the seuen well-fauoured and fat kine How much lesse should any loue of this world of the profits promotions or pleasures of this world draw away our hearts from Christ should we not rather say and doe as the Apostles did Behold we haue for saken all and followed Christ §. 87. Of the indissoluble vnion betwixt Christ and the Church II. The firmnesse of that bond whereby Christ and the Church are said to be glued together is greater and more inuiolable then that whereby man and wife are ioyned together Death parteth man and wife but death cannot make a diremption betwixt Christ and the Church so as we may well from this metaphor inferre that Christ and the Church are inseparably knit together I will betroth thee vnto me for euer saith Christ vnto the Church The couenant which Christ maketh with his Church is an euerlasting couenant The mountaines shall depart and the hils be remoued before his kindnesse shall depart from the Church The stedfastnesse and vnchangeablenesse of his will is the only cause thereof Whom he loueth he loueth vnto the end His gifts and calling are without repentance He is not like the hard hearted Iewes who vpon euerie sleight occasion would put away their wiues The Lord hateth putting away Though therefore the Church through her weaknesse doe depart from him and play the harlot yet returne againe to me saith the Lord. Learne we by this patterne to cleaue close vnto the Lord which is a dutie most due to Christ who cleaueth so close to vs and therefore oft expressed in the Scripture Three vertues there are which are of speciall vse to this purpose Faith Hope Loue. Faith is the hand whereby we lay fast hold on Christ and as it were knit him to our selues as he by his Spirit knitteth vs to himselfe This maketh vs rest and repose our selues on him for all needfull things and not to leaue him for any thing Hope is the anchor which holdeth vs fast against all the stormes of Satan so as they can neuer driue vs out of our harbour which is the Lord Iesus Christ Loue is the glue and soader which maketh vs one with Christ for it is the propertie of loue to vnite those that loue one another in one Ionathans soule was knit with the soule of Dauid For why Ionathan loued him as his owne soule He that loueth is well pleased with him whom he loueth and seeketh also to please him that they may mutually delight one in another Were these three vertues well rooted in vs we would say who shall separate vs from the loue of Christ shall tribulation or distresse c. §. 88. Of the equall priuiledge of all the Saints III. Concerning the phrase whereby the neerenesse of man and wife is set forth they two shall be one flesh it may be demanded how this can be applied to Christ and the Saints who are more then two Answ Christ by one Spirit knitteth vs all into one bodie and so maketh all ioyntly considered together one Spouse The multitude of Saints doth no more imply many wiues then the multitude of members which the naturall bodie of a wife hath This point then teacheth vs that In the mysticall mariage betwixt Christ and the Church all and euerie of the Saints haue an equall priuiledge Some are not Concubines some wiues nor some more loued or preferred to another but all one wife All are one in Christ Iesus Neither the Father that gaue them all nor the Sonne who tooke them all saw any thing in one more then in another their meere grace moued them to doe what they did Well may euerie one apply all the forenamed priuiledges vnto themselues and not one emulate another This affordeth instruction to the more eminent in the Church that like proud dames they insult not ouer others as if they were their hand-maids and consolation to the meaner sort that they may vphold themselues and possesse their soules with patience and not enuie or grieue at the outward prosperitie and priuiledges of others In the greatest priuiledge they are equall to the greatest This of the parties coupled to Christ For these words they two shew that all the Saints are but one Christ is the other of the two The next words are one flesh shew how neere those Saints are to Christ §. 89. Of the neere vnion betwixt Christ and the Church The maine point here to be noted is that Christ and the Church are most neerely linked together What can be neerer then that two should come into one flesh This is
matrimoniall vnitie is so necessarie as it may not be dis-united or dissolued though one be a Christian the other a Pagan If any brother saith the Apostle hath a wife that beleeueth not let him not put her away And the woman which hath an husband that beleeueth not let her not leaue him The reasons of this inuiolable vnion are especially two One taken from the Author of mariage the other from the Nature thereof 1. The Author of mariage is God It is his ordinance and he it is that by his ordinance hath made of two one flesh Now marke the consequence which Christ as a ruled case and vndeniable principle inferreth thereon What God hath ioyned together let no man put asunder If no man then nor wife nor husband himselfe 2. Such is the Nature of the matrimoniall bond as it maketh of two one and more firmely bindeth them two together then any other bond can binde any other two together how then should they be two againe §. 3. Of Desertion The vice contrary to matrimoniall vnitie is Desertion when one of the maried couple through indignation of the true religion and vtter detestation thereof or some other like cause shall apparently renounce all matrimoniall vnitie and withdraw him or her selfe from all societie with the other and liue among Infidels Idolaters heretiques or other such persecutors as a faithfull Christian with safetie of life or a good conscience cannot abide among and though all good meanes that can be thought of be vsed to reclaime the partie so departed yet nothing will preuaile but obstinatly persisteth in renouncing all matrimoniall fellowship This Desertion is in the case of mariage so capitall as it freeth the innocent partie from any further seeking after the other In which respect the Apostle saith If the vnbeleeuing depart let him depart A brother or a sister is not vnder bondage in such cases 1 Cor. 7. 15. By bondage he meaneth matrimoniall subiection by reason whereof neither of the maried persons haue power of their owne body but one of the others Now they that are not vnder this bondage are not bound to seeke after it That Desertion therefore on the delinquents part is such dissolution of mariage as freeth the innocent partie from the bondage thereof In many reformed Churches beyond the seas Desertion is accounted so farre to dissolue the very bond of mariage as libertie is giuen to the partie forsaken to marie another and it is also applied to other cases then that which is aboue mentioned as when an Infidell Idolater or Heretique shall depart from one of the true religion for other causes then hatred of religion or when both man and wife hauing liued as Idolaters among Idolaters one of them being conuerted to the true faith leaueth his abode among Idolaters and goeth to the professors of the true faith but can by no meanes get the other partie to remoue or when one of the true religion shall depart from another of the same profession and will by no meanes be brought to liue with the partie so left but openly manifesteth peremptorie obstinacie the matter being heard and adiudged by the Magistrate the mariage bond may be broken and libertie giuen to the partie forsaken to mary another But because our Church hath no such custome nor our law determined such cases I leaue them to the custome of other Churches §. 4. Of matrimoniall Chastitie The second necessarie common-mutuall mariage-dutie is Matrimoniall chastitie Chastitie in a large extent is taken for all manner of puritie in soule or body in which respect the Apostle calleth the Church of God a chaste virgin But in the sense wherein we here vse it it especially appertaineth to the body which is that vertue whereby we possesse our vessels to vse the Apostles phrase in holinesse and honour or more plainly to our purpose whereby we keepe our bodies vndefiled Chastitie thus restrained to the body is of Single life Wedlocke  That of single life is opposed to fornication and it is either of such as neuer were maried Such an one was S. Paul in which respect he wisheth that all were as he 1 Cor. 7. 7. Or of such as are lawfully freed from the bond of mariage Such an one the Apostle calleth a widow indeed Chastitie of wedlocke is that vertue whereby parties maried obseruing the lawfull and honest vse of mariage keepe their bodies from being defiled with strange flesh thus the Apostle commandeth wiues to be chaste Tit. 2. 5. So as they that keepe the lawes of wedlocke are as chaste as they that containe Here by the way note the dotage of our aduersaries who thinke there is no chastitie but of single persons whereupon in their speeches and writings they oppose chastitie and matrimonie one to another as two contraries Some of their holy Fathers and Popes and those not the least learned nor of worst note among them haue inferred by their arguments against Priests mariage that Mariage is a liuing in the flesh a sowing to the flesh a pollution of the flesh To that purpose S. Pauls aduice to man and wife to abstaine that they may giue themselues to fasting and prayer is vrged but directly contrarie to the intent of the Apostle For 1. He speaketh there of extraordinarie humiliation 2. He interposeth this limitation for a time 3. He saith not simply that ye may pray but that ye may giue your selues or haue leasure to prayer as if it did only hinder but not pollute prayer But how can the forenamed spots and blots of mariage stand with that beautie and glorie wherewith the Apostle setteth it forth in these words Mariage is honourable in all Hâ—b 13. 4. If mariage were as Papists set it forth to be the mariage-bed were verie vnfitly called a bed vndefiled Behold how contrarie the spirits of S. Paul and of their Popes were I wot well farre more contrarie then chastitie and matrimonie But to returne to our matter cleare it is that maried persons may be chaste and accordingly they ought to be chaste To which purpose the Apostle counselling men and women for auoiding fornication to haue wiues and husbands inserteth this particle OWNE Let euerie man haue his OWNE wife and euerie woman haue her OWNE husband whereby he implieth that they should not haue to doe with any other That which Salomon expresseth of an husband by the rule of relation must be applied to a wife As the man must be satisfied at all times in his wife and euen rauisht with her loue so must the woman be satisfied at all times in her husband and euen rauisht with his loue By the like rule the precept giuen to wiues to be chaste must husbands take as directed to themselues also and be chaste This dutie did Isaak and Rebekah faithfully and mutually performe each to other 1. It was one maine end why mariage especially since the
fall of man was ordained to liue chastely This the Apostle implieth where he saith to auoid fornication let euerie man haue his owne wife and let euerie woman haue her owne husband And againe If they cannot containe let them marrie 2. By chastitie is a godly seed preserued on earth By this reason doth the Prophet Malachie inforce this dutie For after he had said that the Lord made one meaning of two one flesh by mariage he inferreth this exhortation Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deale vnfaithfully against the wife of his youth 3. An especiall part of the honour of mariage consisteth in chastitie whereupon the Apostle hauing giuen this high commendation of mariage that it is honourable in all addeth this clause and the bed vndefiled to shew the reason of that honour As if he had said Because the mariage-bed is in it selfe a bed vndefiled mariage is therefore in it selfe honourable and doth so farre remaine honourable as the bed remaineth vndefiled §. 5. Of Adulterie The vice contrarie to matrimoniall chastitie is Adulterie one of the most capitall vices in that estate a vice whereby way is made for Diuorce as is cleare and euident by the determination of Christ himselfe concerning that point first propounded in his sermon on the mount and againe repeated in his conference with the Pharisies where condemning vniust diuorces he excepteth the diuorce made for adulterie And great reason there is thereof For the adulterer maketh himselfe one flesh with his harlot Why then should he remaine to be one flesh with his wife Two saith the Law shall be one flesh not three The like may be said of a wife committing adulterie §. 6. Of pardoning adulterie vpon repentance Quest Seeing by adulterie iust cause of diuorce is giuen may this fault vpon the repentance of the delinquent person be so forgiuen as no diuorce be sought by the innocent person but both continue to liue together in wedlocke as before Answ Though it be not meet in this case to impose it as an inuiolable law vpon the innocent partie to retaine the delinquent because of repentance for we haue direct and strict warrant for it yet I doubt not but they may so doe if they will and that without iust exception to the contrarie they ought so to doe For the law of diuorce did not necessarily enioyne any to sue out the bill but only afforded them libertie to vse that punishment if they saw cause I doubt not but for warrant of this libertie we may take Gods patterne in retaining Churches and people after they haue committed spirituall adulterie and Christs forgiuing the woman that had committed adulterie For Seeing Christ said to an adult eresse I condemne thee not goe and sinne no more who cannot conceiue that an husband ought to forgiue that which he seeth the Lord both of husband and wife hath forgiuen and that he ought not to account her an adulteresse whose fault he beleeueth to be blotted out by the mercie of God vpon her repentance §. 7. Of the difference of adultery in a man and in a wife Quest Is the bond of mariage as much violated on the mans part when he committeth adulterie as on the womans when she doth so Answ Though the ancient Romans and Canonists haue aggrauated the womans fault in this kinde farre aboue the mans and giuen the man more priuiledges then the woman yet I see not how that difference in the sinne can stand with the tenour of Gods word I denie not but that more inconueniences may follow vpon the womans default then vpon the mans as greater infamy before men worse disturbance of the family more mistaking of legitimate or illegitimate children with the like The man cannot so well know which be his owne children as the woman he may take base children to be his owne and so cast the inheritance vpon them and suspect his owne to be basely borne and so depriue them of their patrimony But the woman is freed from all such mistakings Yet in regard of the breach of wedlocke and transgression against God the sinne of either partie is alike Gods word maketh no disparity betwixt them At the beginning God said of them both they two shall be one flesh not the woman only with the man but the man also with the woman is made one flesh Their power also ouer one another in this respect is alike If on iust occasion they abstaine it must be with mutuall consent If the husband leaue his wife she is as free as he should be if she left him Accordingly the punishment which by Gods law was to be inflicted on Adulterers is the same whether the man or the woman be the delinquent Deut. 22. 22. If difference be made it is meet that adulterous husbands be so much the more seuerely punished by how much the more it appertaineth to them to excell in vertue and to gouerne their wiues by example §. 8. Of the hainousnesse of Adulterie But to returne to the discouery of the hainousnesse of Adulterie I finde no sinne thorowout the whole Scripture so notoriously in the seuerall colours thereof set forth as it is For besides that it is by name forbidden in the Decalogue it is further expresly branded to be committed 1. Against each person in the holy Trinitie the Father whose couenant is broken the Sonne whose members are made the members of an harlot and the Holy Ghost whose Temple is polluted 2. Against ones neighbour as the partie with whom the sinne is committed for this sinne cannot be committed singly by one alone the husband and wife of each partie who cannot rest contented with any satisfaction the children borne in adulterie whom they brand with an indelible character of infamie and depriue of many priuiledges that otherwise they might enioy the alliance and friends of each partie to whom the griefe and disgrace of this foule sinne reacheth the whole family appertaining to either of them for this is as a fire in an house the towne citie and nation where such vncleane birds roost for all they lie open to the vengeance of God for this sinne and the very Church of God the holy seed whereof is by this sinne hindred 3. Against the parties themselues that commit this sinne and that against their soules bodies name goods and all that appertaineth to them As this sinne is in it selfe a sinfull sinne so by the bitter and cursed fruits which proceed from it it is made out of measure sinfull For 1. By it husbands and wiues affection which of all other ought to be the most inuiolable is so alienated as seldome it is reconciled againe 2. By it the goods of the family are much wasted the adulterous husband spending that wherewith he should prouide for his family on his harlot and the adulterous wife
stocke or though he were her prentise or bondslaue which also holdeth in the case betwixt an aged woman and a youth for the Scripture hath made no exception in any of those cases 2. Obiect But what if a man of lewd and beastly conditions as a drunkard a glutton a profane swaggerer an impious swearer and blasphemer be maried to a wife sober religious Matron must she account him her superiour and worthy of an husbands honour Answ Surely she must For the euill qualitie and disposition of his heart and life doth not depriue a man of that ciuill honour which God hath giuen vnto him Though an husband in regard of euill qualities may carrie the Image of the deuill yet in regard of his place and office he beareth the â—mage of God so doe Magistrates in the common-wealth Ministers in the Church parents and masters in the familie Note for our present purpose the exhortation of S. Peter to Christian wiues which had infidell husbands Be in subiection to them let your conuersation be in feare If Infidels carrie â—ot the deuils Image and are not so long as they are Infidels â—assals of Satan who are yet wiues must be subiect to them and feare them §. 6. Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands Contrary thereunto is a very peruerse disposition in some wiues who thinke they could better subiect themselues to any husband then their owne Though in generall they acknowledge that an husband is his wiues superiour yet when the application commeth to themselues they faile and cannot be brought to yeeld that they are their husbands inferiours This is a vice worse then the former For to acknowledge no husband to be superiour ouer his wife but to thinke man and wife in all things equall may proceed from ignorance of hinde and error of iudgement But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the generall that an husband is aboue his wife to imagine that she her selfe is not inferiour to her husband ariseth from monstrous selfe-conceit and intolerable â—rrogancy as if she her selfe were aboue her owne sex and â—ore then a woman Contrary also is the practise of such women as purposely â—ary men of farre lower ranke then themselues for this very end that they may rule ouer their owne husbands and of others who being aged for that end mary youths if not very boyes A minde and practise very vnseemely and cleaneth warting Gods ordinance But let them thinke of ruling what they list the truth is that they make themselues subiects both by Gods law and mans of which subiection such wiues doe oft feele the heauiest burden Salomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is disquieted when a seruant reigneth Now when can a seruant more dominere then when he hath maried his mistresse As for aged women who are maried to youths I may say as in another case it was said woe to thee ô wife whose husband is a childe Vnmeet it is that an aged man should be maried to a young maid but much more vnmeet for an aged woman to be maried to a youth §. 7. Of a wiues inward feare of her husband Hitherto of a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands superioritie It followeth to speake of that answerable respect which she ought to beare towards him A wiue-like respect of her husband consisteth in two points 1. Reuerence 2. Obedience  The reuerence which she oweth to him is 1. Inward 2. Outward  Inward reuerence is an awfull respect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband esteeming him worthy of all honour for his place and office sake because he is her husband Doubtlesse Sarah had in her heart a reuerend respect and honourable esteeme of her husband when being alone and thinking of him in her very thought she gaue him this title Lord. This inward reuerence the Scripture compriseth vnder this word Feare as where our Apostle saith Let the wife see that she feare her husband and where S. Peter exhorteth wiues to haue their conuersation in Feare It is no slauish feare of her husband which ought to possesse the heart of a wife dreading blowes frownes spightfull words or the like but such an awfull respect of him as maketh her to vse the Apostles word care how she may please him This wiue-like Feare is manifested by two effects one is Ioy when she giueth contentment to her husband and obserueth him to be pleased with that which she doth the other is griefe when he is iustly offended and grieued especially with any thing that she her selfe hath done Vnlesse this inward reuerence and due respect of an husband be first placed in the heart of a wife either no outward reuerence and obedience will be performed at all or if it be performed it will be very vnsound only in shew hypocriticall and deceitfull so that as good neuer a whit as neuer the better For according to ones inward affection and disposition will the outward action and conuersation be framed Michal first despised Dauid in her heart and thence it followed that she vtteredmost vnreuerend and vile speeches of him euen to his face Wherefore after the iudgement of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands superioritie and her will perswaded to account her owne husband her head and guide it is very needfull that her heart and affection be accordingly seasoned with the salt of good respect and high esteeme which breedeth feare and that thus her heart may be seasoned she ought oft and seriously to meditate of his place and office and of that honour which the Lord by vertue thereof hath planted in him And if he haue gifts worthie his place as knowledge wisdome pietie temperance loue and the like she ought to take notice thereof and to thinke him worthie of double honour §. 8. Of a wiues base esteeme of her husband Contrary to this inward reuerence of the heart is a base and wile esteeme which many haue of their husbands thinking no better of them then of other men nay worse then of others despising their husbands in their heart like Michal of whom we heard before This as it is in it selfe a vile vice so is â—t a cause of many other vices as of presumption rebellion yea and of adultery it selfe many times and it is also a maine hinderance of all dutie It commonly riseth either from selfe-conceit whereby wiues ouerweene their owne gifts thinking them so excellent is they need no guide or head but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husband and all the houshold of which proud and presumptuous spirit Iezabel seemeth to be who with an audacious and impudent face said to Ahab her husband Dost thou now gouerne the kingdome of Israel Up I will giue thee the vineyard of Naboth So also all those wiues which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the
affirme Now we know that euerie Christian wife in her particular ought to yeeld that obedience to Christ which the Church in generall doth therefore also she must yeeld such subiection to her husband as she should to Christ Quest What if an husband be an enemie of Christ must such subiection be yeelded to an enemie of Christ as to Christ himselfe Answ Yea because in his office he is in Christs stead though in his heart an enemie In this case will the wisdome patience and obedience of a wife be best tried It is noted of the Church that she is a Lilly among thornes She remaineth Lilly-like white soft pleasant amiable though she be ioyned with thornes which are scraggie prickly sharpe so a wife must be milde meeke gentle obedient though she be matched with a crooked peruerse profane wicked husband thus shall her vertue and grace shine forth the more clearely euen as the stars shine forth most brightly in the darkest night Among wiues Abigail deserueth great praise that forgot not her dutie though she were maried to a churlish couetous drunken sot a verie Nabal in name and deed As for those who take occasion from the wickednesse of their husbands to neglect their dutie they adde to their crosse a curse for a crosse it is to haue a bad husband but to be a bad wife is a sinne which pulleth downe a curse Let wiues therefore remoue their eyes from the disposition of their husbands person to the condition of his place and by vertue thereof seeing he beareth Christs image be subiect to him as vnto Christ This generall conclusion might be applied to the matter of subiection as well as to the manner for the Church acknowledgeth Christ her superiour feareth him inwardly reuerenceth him outwardly obeyeth him also both by forbearing to doe what he forbiddeth and also by doing what he commandeth which points hauing beene before distinctly and largely handled and applied to wiues I will not repeat them againe Wherefore now to insist in the manner only there are foure vertues which are especially needfull hereunto whereby the Church seasoneth her subiection to Christ and wiues also may and must season their subiection to their husbands These are the foure 1. Humilitie 2. Sinceritie 3. Cheerefulnesse 4. Constancie §. 55. Of wiues humilitie in euery duty Humility is that grace that keepes one from thinking highly of himselfe aboue that which is meet and in regard of that meane conceit which he hath of himselfe maketh him thinke reuerendly and highly of others so as if humility be placed in a wiues heart it will make her thinke better of her husband then of her selfe and so make her the more willing to yeeld all subiection vnto him The Apostle requireth it of all Christians as a generall sawce to season all other duties but after a peculiar maner is it needfull for inferiours most of all for wiues because there are many prerogatiues appertaining to their place which may soone make them thinke they ought not to be subiect vnlesse they be humbly minded That the Church doth herewith season her subiection is cleare by the booke of Canticles where oft she acknowledgeth her owne meannesse and the excellency of her spouse Therefore as the Church is humbly subiect to Christ so let wiues be to their husbands §. 56. Of wiues pride Contrary is pride which puffeth vp wiues maketh them thinke there is no reason they should be subiect to husbands they can rule themselues well enough yea and rule their husbands too as well as their husbands rule them No more pestilent vice for an inferiour then this it is the cause of all rebellion disobedience disloyalty only by pride commeth contention §. 57. Of Wiues sinceritie in euery dutie II. Sincerity is that grace that maketh one to be within euen in truth what without he appeareth to be in shew This is that Singlenesse of heart which is expresly required of seruants and may be applied to wiues for indeed it appertaineth to all sorts Because it is only discerned by the Lord who is the searcher of all hearts it will moue a wife to haue an eye to him in all she doth and to endeuour to approue her selfe to him aboue all therefore vprightnesse and walking before God are oft ioyned together he that is vpright will assuredly walke before God that is endeuour to approue himselfe to God as Noah did and as God commanded Abraham to doe Though there were no other motiue in the world to moue her to subiection yet for conscience sake to Christ she should yeeld it S. Peter testifieth of holy women that they trusted in God and were subiect to their husbands implying thereby that their conscience to God made them be subiect to their husbands Was not Sarahs subiection seasoned with sinceritie when within her selfe in her heart she called her husband Lord Great reason there is that wiues should in sincerity subiect themselues for 1. In their subiection euen to their husbands they haue to doe with Christ in whose roome their husbands stand so as though their husbands who are but men see only the face and outward behauiour yet Christ seeth their heart and inward disposition though their husbands see only the things which they doe before their faces and can heare only of such things as are done before others yet Christ seeth and knoweth the things that are done in the most secret places that can be when no creature beside themselues is priuie thereunto Now let it be granted that in their outward carriage they giue very good contentment vnto their husbands and please them euery way yet if sinceritie haue beene wanting with what face can they appeare before Christ he will take another manner account of them before Christ all their outward complement will stand them in no stead at all 2. Herein lyeth a maine difference betwixt true Christian religious wiues and meere naturall women these may be subiect on by-respects as namely that their husbands may the more loue them or liue the more quietly and peaceably with them or that they may the more readily obtaine what they desire at their husbands hands or for feare of their husbands displeasure and wrath knowing him to be an angry furious man so as otherwise it might be worse with them they might want many needfull things or carry away many sore blowes if they were not subiect But the other haue respect to Christs ordinance whereby their husbands are made their head and to his word and will whereby they are commanded subiection Thus holy women subiected themselues they cannot be holy that doe not thus subiect themselues for this is a sweet perfume that sendeth forth a good sauour into Christs nostrils and maketh the things we doe pleasant and acceptable to him 3. The benefit of this vertue being planted in a wiues heart is very great and that both
wife though neuer so wicked may by the power of her husband be kept vnder and restrained from outrage Wherefore to goe on in order in laying downe the husbands duties as we haue the wiues we are to consider 1. The Duties themselues 2. The reasons to inforce them In setting downe the duties we must note 1. The matter wherein they consist 2. The manner how they are to be performed The Apostle compriseth the whole matter of them all vnder Loue which is the summe and head of all This we will first handle and then proceed to other particulars §. 2. Of that loue which husbands owe their wiues This head of all the rest Loue is expresly set downe and alone mentioned in this and in many other places of Scripture whereby it is euident that all other duties are comprised vnder it To omit other places where this dutie is vrged in this place Loue is foure times by name expressed beside that it is intimated vnder many other termes and phrases Whosoeuer therefore taketh a wife must in this respect that she is his wife loue her as it is noted of Isaak the best patterne of husbands noted in the Scripture he tooke Rebekah she was his wife ana he loued her Many good reasons hereof may be rendred 1. Because no dutie on the husbands part can be rightly performed except it be seasoned with loue The Apostle exhorteth all Christians to doe all their things in loue much more ought husbands though in place they be aboue their wiues yet loue may not be forgotten 2. Because of all persons on earth a wife is the most proper obiect of loue nor friend nor childe nor parent ought so to be loued as a wife she is termed the wife of his bosome to shew that she ought to be as his heart in his bosome 3. Because his place of eminency and power of authority may soone puffe him vp and make him insult ouer his wife and trample her vnder his feet if a intire loue of her be not planted in his heart To keepe him from abusing his authority is loue so much pressed vpon him 4. Because wiues through the weaknesse of their sex for they are the weaker vessels are much prone to prouoke their husbands So as if there be not loue predominant in the husband there is like to be but little peace betwixt man and wife Loue couereth a multitude of imperfections 5. Because as Christ by his loue first manifested prouoketh the Church to loue him so an husband by louing his wife should prouoke her to loue him againe shewing himselfe like the Sunne which is the fountaine of light and from which the Moone receiueth what light she hath so he should be the fountaine of loue to his wife Obiect Loue was before laid downe as a common dutie appertaining both to man and wife how is it then here required as a particular and peculiar dutie of an husband Answ In regard of the generall extent of loue it is indeed a common dutie belonging to the one as well as to the other yea belonging to all Christians to all men for it is the very nature of loue and an especiall property thereof to seeke not her owne things but the good of others which all are bound to doe by vertue of the bond of nature more then others Christians by vertue of the bond of the spirit among Christians especially wiues and husbands by vertue of the matrimoniall bond of maried couples most of all husbands by vertue of their place and charge Their place is a place of authoritie which without loue will soone turne into tyrannie Their charge is especially and aboue all to seeke the good of their wiues as wiues are the chiefest and greatest charge of husbands so their chiefest and greatest care must be for them the parents and friends of wiues as they giue ouer all their authority to their husbands so they cast all care vpon them wherefore that husbands may take the more care of their wiues and the better seeke their good they ought after a peculiar manner to loue them Husbands are most of all bound to loue and bound to loue their wiues most of all Thus this affection of loue is a distinct dutie in it selfe peculiarly appertaining to an husband and also a common condition which must be annexed to euery other dutie of an husband to season and sweeten the same His looke his speech his carriage and all his actions wherein he hath to doe with his wife must be seasoned with loue loue must shew it selfe in his commandements in his reproofes in his instructions in his admonitions in his authoritie in his familiaritie when they are alone together when they are in company before others in ciuill affaires in religious matters at all times in all things as salt must be first and last vpon the table and eaten with euery bit of meate so must loue be first in an husbands heart and last out of it and mixed with euery thing wherein he hath to doe with his wife §. 3. Of an husbands hatred and want of loue Contrary hereunto is hatred of heart which vice as it is very odious and detestable in it selfe so much more when the wife is made the obiect thereof As loue prouoketh an husband to doe his wife what good he can so hatred to doe her what mischiefe he can Moses noteth a mans hatred of his wife to be a cause of much mischiefe for the neerer and dearer any persons be the more violent will that hatred be which is fastened on them Hence was it that a diuorce was suffered to be made betwixt a man and his wife in case he hated her which law questionlesse was made for releefe of the wife lest the hatred which her husband conceiued against her should worke her some mischiefe if he were forced to keepe her as his wife which Christ seemeth to imply in these words Moses because of the hardnesse of your hearts suffered you to put away your wines This therefore being so pestilent a poison let husbands take heed how they suffer it to soake into them Neither is it sufficient for an husband not to hate his wife for euen the want of loue though it be only a priuation yet is it a great vice and contrary also to the forenamed dutie of loue Where this want of loue is there can be no duty wel performed euen as when the great wheele of a clocke the first mouer of all the rest is out of frame neuer a wheele can be in good order They that thinke lightly hereof plainly discouer that there is little or no loue of God in them at all for if the Apostles inference be good taken from a mans neighbour or brother whom he hath seene it will much more be good hauing relation to a wife for how can he who loueth not his wife whom God hath giuen to
Pet. 3. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Pet. 3. 1. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eph. 5. 23. 1 Cor. 7. 12 13 A wofull thing that one flesh should be in heauen and hell Luk. 17. 34. Meanes of conuersion the best cause of loue b 1 Thess 5. 11 c Heb. 12. 15. Spiritual edification a main end of matrimoniall coniunction d Col. 2. 19. e Eph. 4. 16. d Col. 2. 19. Man and wife to preuent sin in one another 1 Cor. 7. 5. g Gen. 27. 6 c. h Gen. 25. 23. By preuenting sinne in each other they keepe iudgements from themselues Num. 16. 27 32 Direction for preuenting sinne 1 Sam. 25. Leu. 19. 17. It is a branch of hatred to suffer sin to lie on any Mat. 18. 16. 1 Sam. 1. 4. c. 2 King 4. 10. How growth in grace may be helped forward Nemo magister ita persuadere poterit quemadmodum vxor Chrys hom 19. 1 Cor. 7. Maritum co adducito vt sanctorum dierum rationem habeat Greg. Naz. ad Olymp. 1. Great need thereof 2. Husbands and wiues may be very helpfull one to another therein 1. Care only for temporall things 2. Vnworthy walking 3. Negligence in preuenting sin Mat. 27. 19. 4. Man-pleasing Eph. 6. 6. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Diabolus saepe sollicitus est subuertere viros per os coniugum Orig. in Iob. lib. 2. 5. Vndue feare of offence 6. Scoffing at the signes of grace 2 Sam. 6. 20. a Eph. 5. 29. b Eph. 5. 31. c Gen. 2. 18. d Gen. 27. 14. Pro. 17. 17. Gen. 2. 18. Pro. 18. 22. * Gen. 2. 18. Iob 2. 9. Iob 19. 17. a Mat. 1. 19. b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c 2 Sam. 11. 5. Pro. 31. 28. 1. A good name is pretious e Eccl. 7. 3. f Pro. 22. 1. 2. The good name of the one is the honour of the other Directions concerning a good name 1. Preuent an ill name and that 1. By concealing things of ill report g Mat. 1. 19. h 1 Pet. 4. 8. 2. By closing eares against ill reports 3. By forbearing to censure rashly Mat. 1. 19. 2 Sam. 6. 20. 1 Sam. 25. 25. 2. Redresse an ill name Iudg. 19. 1 2 c. 1 Sam. 25. 37. 3. Procure a good report l Pro. 31. 28 29. 4. Preserue a good name m Col. 1. 3 4. 2 Cor. 9. 4. Eccles 10. 1. 5. Manifest a care of one anothers good name n Rom. 12. 15. Contrarie vices 1. To discredit each other and that 2 Sam. 6. 20. 1. By blazing one anothers infirmities abroad p Gen. 9. 22 25. 2. By hearing and beleeuing others ill reports 3. By turning euerie thing to the worst 4. By concealing euill rumors 5. By enuying and gainesaying good reports 2. Neglect of each others fame Treatise 3. §. 29. a 1 Tim. 5. 8. See Treat 4. §. 46. b Gen. 2. 18. c Prou. 18. 22. d Prou. 31. 12. e Vers 11. f Gen. 31. 40. g Prou. 31. 10. c. Externa negotia viro permitte Greg. Naz. ad Olymp. h Tit. 2. 5. i 1 Tim. 5. 14. Contrary vices 1. Couetousnesse 2. Prodigality 1 Tim. 5. 8. 3. Idlenesse a 1 Tim. 3. 4. b Vers 12. c Gen. 18. 19. d 35. 2 c. e Jâ—sâ— 4. 15. f Psal 101. 2. c. g Ioh. 4 53. h 1 Tim. 5. 14. i Prou. 31. 11 c. k Mater-familias l Pater-familias m 1 Tim. 2. 12. n Pro. 31. 4. o Acts 18. 26. 1. Reason Husbands and wiues by their mutuall assistance bring great help one to another Plus vident oculi quà m oculus Arist Polit. li. 3. c. 7. 2. Reason Many things in a family more fit for the one to meddle with then for the other In familia dispertita sunt officia suntque alia viri alia vxoris propria Pro sunt ergo vterque alteri sua in commune confe rentes ob eamque causam suauitas in hac tali amicitia inest vtilitasque maxima Arist Eth. li. 8. ca. 12. Vices contrary 1. When husbands put off all gouernment to their wiues a 1 Sam. 3. 12 13. b 2 Sam. 15. 2. When wiues refuse to adde their aide 3. When husbands or wiues are hinderances each to other Pro. 21. 9. a Heb. 13. 2. Rom. 12. 13. b 1 Tim. 3. 2. c 5. 10. d Gen. 18 6. c. e 2 King 4. 8. Reasons 1. Hospitality a commendable dutie f Heb. 13. 2. 2. The entertainment will be the better by a mutuall helpe g Gen. 18. 7. h Vers 6. 3. Guests will be more cheerefull 4. Mutuall loue will be more firme 5. A desire of one anothers good manifested i 1 Tim. 5. 8. a Neh. 8. 10. b Pro. 31. 20. c Vers 28. * Treat 3. §. 23. 33. e Prou. 19. 17. f 2 Cor. 9. 6. g Luke 16. 9. h Iob 29. 13. 31. 20. i Matth. 5. 7. k Mat. 25. 34. l Heb. 13. 16. m Acts 20. 35. 2. Husband and wife in place to giue good direction one to another Vices contrarie 1. Vnmercifulnesse of the husband n 2 Cor. 9. 7. 2. Binding his wiues hands Read Iam. 5. 1 2. c. a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c As vnto the Lord. d As the Church is subiect to Christ e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 In euerie thing * Treat 4. §. 2. Maritum habere Dominum meruit mulieris culpa quod tamen nisi seruetur deprauabitur ampliùs natura augebitur culpa Aug. de Gen. ad lit lib. 11. c. 37. Ante peccatum non aliter factam fuisse decet credere mulierem nisi vt vir ei dominaretur Ibid. Quem vocavit ad culpam mulier iustum est vt eum gubernatorem assumaâ— ne iterum foeminea facilitate labatur Ambr. Hexaem l. 5. c. 7. * Treat 4. §. 6 7. Proofes that the husband is aboue the wife b Rom. 13. 1. Mari foeminae ae natura tribuium est vt hi praesit illa obediat cum mas praestantior sit Arist Pol. lib. 1. c 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 h Sicapilli pro velamine dati sunt qua gratia aliud addenduÌ„ est velamen Vt non tantum natura sed etiam voluntate subiectam se esse confiteatur Chrys in 1 Cor. hom 26. 1. Wiues must acknowledge a superioritie in husbands Of all that are inferiours the wife commeth neerest to a paritic b Gen. 2. 21. c 1 Cor. 11. 12. d 1 Cor. 7. 4. Cùm de pudicitia sermonem habet magna paritas Chrys hom 19. in 1 Cor. 7. e 1 Pet. 3. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 f Gen. 1. 28. g 16. 4. Obiect Answ h Possunt coniuges per charitatem seruire inuicem sed mulierem non permittit Apostolus dominari in virum Aug. de Gen. ad lit l. 11. c. 37. * Treat 4 §. 9.
children as towards his eldest sonne and heire and yet may he bestow the greatest patrimony vpon the heire which is no partialitie 2. Quest Is it then iust and equall that the eldest sonne should haue a greater patrimony then any of the rest Answ It is most iust and equall For 1. God hath so appointed it yea he made this to be one of the prerogatiues of the first-borne to haue a double portion Vpon this ground Ioseph who was the first-borne of the true wife had a double portion and as a testimony thereof his posteritie made two tribes 2. The lawes of all nations doe order as much 3. Our law giueth the whole inheritance of freeholds to the eldest sonne in which respect it is due vnto him For in ciuill and temporall matters this rule is true we liue by law I take it to be a matter of conscience for a parent to leaue that to euery childe which by law is due to him Neither is it without good reason that the law ordaineth that a parents whole estate of freehold land should descend for 1. There is an excellency in the first borne as is euident by Iaakobs speech to his eldest sonne thou art my first borne my might and the beginning of my strength the excellency of dignity and the excellency of power And thereupon God tooke the first borne as peculiar to himselfe 2. Houses and families by this meanes are vpheld and continued from age to age How needfull it is for the establishment of a commonwealth that families should thus be continued is euident both by experience to all such as haue but halfe an eie to see wherein the stability of a common wealth consisteth and also by the many lawes which God ordained among the Iewes for this purpose as 1. That no land should be quite cut off from a family 2. That if any through pouerty were forced to sell his land the next of kin was to buy it 3. That if a man that had sold his land could by no meanes redeeme it againe at the yeere of Iubilee he was to haue the possession of it againe 4. That if daughters were heires they should not marry out of their fathers tribe and this reason is giuen that euery man may enioy the inheritance of his fathers Obiect By leauing the whole inheritance to the eldest he may be made a Gentleman and all the other beggars Answ In this respect parents ought to be so much the more prouident for their other children in training them vp to callings or laying vp portions or setling other estates vpon them beside the maine inheritance or in taking order that compâ—ent portions be raised out of the inheritance of the eldest son â—n case God take them away before they haue otherwise proâ—ided for their children Out of this answer may a third reason be gathered to shew that it is a behouefull law for the commonwealth that the heire should haue all the land For this law maketh parents more carefull in training vp their younger sonnes to sundry callings which are profitable to a commonwealth If euery childe should haue a part of his fathers lands they would all so depend thereupon as none of them would exercise themselues to such callings as are meanes of mens maintenance §. 69. Of parents partiality towards some children Contrary to the forenamed duty of a parents equall respect to all his children is partiality in fathers and mothers manifested sundry waies For 1. Many parents haue their darling children to whom so much affection is shewed as in comparison none is shewed to others When some are hugged in the bosome others are neglected as if they were none of their owne but basely borne The vnnaturalnesse of the eagle is noted in this kinde that she flaps and driues out of the nest one of her young ones and feedeth only the other as her owne From such partiality in parents proceed many mischiefes as these 1. They giue occasion to such as obserue it to suspect that those children who are so little respected are none of their owne 2. They cause enuy malice and much contention to arise among children When Iosephs brethren saw that their father loued him more then all them they hated him and could not speake peaceably vnto him 3. They prouoke God to inflict some iudgement on those children that are so cockered and preferred before the rest that so they may the better see their folly This sinne of parents partiality is so much the greater when vpon outward respects they preferre the wicked and vngodly children before pious and gracious children Isaak herein much failed for he loued Esau a profane wretch because he did eat of his Venison 2. Other parents so set themselues to raise their house as aâ— their care is to aduance their eldest sonne by education by liberall allowance and by leauing all they haue to him and iâ— the meane while neglect their younger children Though as was noted before the maine inheritance may iustly without shew of partiality be left to the heire yet to be carefull only for him and to neglect the other sauoureth ranke of partiality It is most agreeable to naturall reason that as life is giuen to all children so meanes of maintaining life should be giuen to all 3. In the number of partiall parents may they be reckoned who vniustly disinherit their first borne For the inheritance of right belonging to them and they not deseruing to be disinherited assuredly it is some by respect or other which maketh parents prefer the younger before the elder and this is plaine partiality This kinde of partiality is commonly in such parents as haue had children by seuerall wiues Sometimes dislike of a former wife maketh a father dislike the children he hath by her and through dislike to disinherit the heire by her God gaue the Iewes an expresse law against this kinde of partiality Sometimes againe a gripulous seeking of aduantage to themselues maketh parents to disinherit the right heire as when a man after he hath buried the mother of his first borne hearing of another woman which is of great wealth maketh sute for her She refuseth because he hath an heire of a former wife He to remoue that blocke entereth couenant to make the sonne which he hath by her if he haue any his heire hereupon the mariage is consummate his second wife bringeth forth a sonne he for his couenant sake disinheriteth the first heire An vniust and vnlawfull practise §. 70. Of the causes for which the first-borne may be disinherited Quest May not then a first-borne sonne be disinherited Answ Yes The Scripture noteth two causes wherein the first-borne may be put from the inheritance 1. If he be illegitimate for such an one hath no good title The sonne of the bondwoman shall not be heire with my sonne saith Sarah and that iustly To like purpose say the sons of Gileads
wife to Iephthah Thou shalt not inherit in our fathers house for thou art the sonne of a strange woman Iust was that blame which Iotham laid vpon the men of Shechem for making Abimelech the base sonne of Ierubbaal King and iust was Gods vengeance vpon them for that wrong done to Ierubbaals legitimate children 2. If he be notoriously wicked Thus Ruben for committing abominable incest lost his birthright Many particular crimes are reckoned vp by the ciuill Lawyers which would be too long here to recite §. 71. Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law The extent of this title Fathers is in the last place to be considered Not only naturall parents themselues but also all that are in their place are comprised vnder it As they who are in the place of parents 1. By the bond of mariage 2. By propinquity of bloud 3. By voluntary appointment The first sort are fathers and mothers in law who are so reckoned either by the mariage of parents themselues or by the mariage of their children That man or woman which is maried to a parent that had children before their mariage is in the place of a naturall parent thus Ioseph was a father to Iesus and Keturah a mother to Isaak So againe the naturall parents of that sonne that hath maried a wife or of that daughter that is maried to an husband are in the place of parents to the wife of their sonne and to the husband of their daughter Thus Iethro was a father to Moses and Naomi a mother to Ruth All these are to account their children in law that is the children of their husband and wife or the wiues of their sons and the husbands of their daughters as their owne naturall children and according to the age and place of these children to performe the forenamed duties and euery way to seeke their good except in such duties as after a peculiar manner belong to naturall parents as nursing to a naturall mother leauing the inheritance to a naturall parent For a patterne hereof take the forenamed examples of Ioseph and Naomi What naturall parents could doe more for their owne children then Ioseph did for Iesus and Naomi for Ruth The history noteth how Ioseph tooke care to haue his wiues childe circumcised and presented in the temple how he fled from place to place to preserue the childs life how perplexed he was when he thought the childe was lost how he trained him vp in his owne house The history also noteth how Naomi brought Ruth her sonnes wife into her own countrey and retained her with her selfe and directed her whither to goe and what husband to haue and became a nurse to her childe 1. Mariage maketh man and wife one flesh in which respect they ought to haue one minde and the same affections as mutually each to other so ioyntly to the children of each other On which ground also the husband and wife of a childe being one flesh with the childe ought as the childe to be respected On this ground God counteth the Saints his deare children because they are espoused to his naturall son 2. To respect the children of an husband or wife as their owne is a great euidence of intire loue to the husband and wife And to respect the husband and wife of a childe is a great euidence of loue to the childe it selfe If the worlds prouerbe hold true loue me and loue my dog how much more true is this Christian rule loue me and loue my childe or loue me and loue mine husband or loue me and loue my wife 3. This also is an especiall meanes to kindle and preserue mutuall loue betwixt man and wife who haue children of former husbands and wiues as also betwixt parents and children §. 72. Of the peruerse cariage of fathers and mothers in law to their children Contrary is the cariage of most fathers and mothers in law especially of those who are maried to husbands or to wiues that had children before mariage so farre they are from performing the forenamed duty as rather they enuy at the prosperity of their husbands and wiues children and secretly endeuour to hinder it in what they can and cunningly leeke to alienate the naturall parents affection from them whence fearefull tragedies haue beene made and lamentable mischiefes haue followed What other reason can be giuen hereof but a plaine instigation of the deuill who thus laboureth to disunite those whom God hath ioyned together For auoiding this snare note the mischiefes that follow from thence 1. Such parents sinne against Gods ordinance and as Eue leane more to Satans suggestion then to Gods direction 2. They alienate the hearts and affections of one from another not only from their children but from themselues 3. They prouoke their children in law to contemne and despise them and to yeeld no duty vnto them Hence note into what an hell vnkinde fathers and mothers in law doe cast themselues If this were duly weighed I thinke they would be otherwise minded But the god of this world doth so blinde their eies with selfe-loue and with enuy that they cannot see the mischiefes whereinto they implunge themselues This is a point the more to be weighed because the fault here taxed is so common and hath in all ages beene too common What grieuous complaints haue in former times beene made and still are made by children against fathers and mothers in law Whence also direfull imprecations haue followed Let widowers and widowes that haue children seriously thinke of it before hand and be the more circumspect in taking a second or third husband or wife and after they are maried let them take heed of Satans snares and let conscience of dutie more preuaile with them then corruption of nature §. 73. Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues Many parents to the husbands and wiues of their children doe also much transgresse and swarue from their dutie for 1. They will shew much more respect to their owne children then to the children of their husbands or wiues as by comming to their daughters when their husbands are abroad and neuer but then and sending for their sonnes to their house but not for their wiues 2. In all differences they will take part with their owne children though it be in the worse part and shew great partiality 3. They will oft giue very ill counsell aduising their sons to keepe their wiues short aduising their daughters not to be too subiect to their husbands yea priuily to purloine from their husbands 4. If they liue with their children they will so prie into euery thing that their childrens husband or wife doth and shew such suspicion and iealously in euery thing as they cannot but cause much discord and hence it oft commeth to passe that either parent and childe or husband and wife must be parted