that it is against the law of God and the first institution of mariage that a contract should bee made betweene such persons whereof the one is formerly betrothed to another For so long as the first promise stands in force the man can no more be betrothed to two women then he may be the husband of two wiues because the spouse by the bond of her promise to the man becomes a wife and the man by the bond of his promise to the woman becomes an husband Deut. 22. 23. 24. Againe there can bee no sure-making and consequently no mariage with such a one as either hath been diuorced without a sufficient cause or hath wrongfully forsaken and reiected a lawfull mate before To this purpose saith our Sauiour Christ Matth. 19. 9. I say vnto you that whosoeuer shall put away his wife except it be for whoredome marieth another committeth adulterie and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced committeth adulterie And Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7. 11. But if she depart let her remaine vnmarried or be reconciled vnto her husband and let not the husband put away his wife Hitherto I haue treated of essentiall markes which belong to the being of mariage Now I come to those that are accidentall An accidentall marke of a person fit for mariage is that which belongeth not to the being but to the well being that is to the holines and puritie of that estate And of this sort there be three that are the principall The first is paritie or equality in regard of Christian religion For in mariage there is a speciall care to be had that belieuers be matched with belieuers and Christians with Christians not belieuers with Infidels or Christians with Pagans For the former sort are only and alwaies to be made and kept and the latter to be auoided yea inhibited by positiue lawes and constitutions the breach whereof in such cases is seuerely to be punished The neglect of this point was one principall cause of the destructiō of the old world by the floud Gen. 6. 2. The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked Abraham obserued it in the mariage of Isaac his sonne and for that purpose tooke an oath of his seruant Gen. 24. 3. I will make thee sweare by the Lord God of heauen and God of the earth that thou shalt not take a wife vnto my son of the daughters of the Cananites among whom I dwell And in imitation of that holy example Isaac also giues a charge vnto Iacob his son that he should not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan Gen. 28. 1. Afterward there was an expresse law of God giuen by Moses touching the Gentiles that liued in that land Exod. 34. 15. Beware that thou make not a couenant with the inhabitants of the land c. vers 16. And take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes and their daughters go a whoring after their gods and make thy sonnes goe a whoring after their gods And the same law was vrged by Ezra the Priest in his time Ezra 10. 11. Separate your selues from the people of the land and from the strange wiues Lastly S. Paul exhorteth the Corinthiās 2. Cor. 6. 14. Be not vnequally yoked with the Infidels And Titus 3. 10. Reiect him that is an heretike after once or twice admonition But suppose it falleth out that the espousals be past and that both parties at the first were belieuers or one of thē only or that at first both were vnbelieuers and yet afterward one of them is conuerted to the faith or further admit that both were belieuers at the contract yet within some time after the one becomes an Infidell that is to say a Iew a Turke or an obstinate Heretike that denies the faith and razeth euen the very foundation of Religion in this case what is to be done Surely euē such espousals once made and ended if there be no other impediments but these are to stand continue firme and vnchangeable so long as the vnbelieuing partie doth willingly yeeld and submit him or her selfe to the performance of mariage duties properly belonging to man and wife My reason is the speech of Paul who saith If any brother haue a wife that beleeueth not if she be content to dwell with him let him not forsake her Againe The woman which hath an husband that belieueth not if he be content to dwell with her let her not forsake him 1. Cor. 7. 12. 13. If it be heere alledged that the sin of adulterie dissolues the bond both of contract and mariage and therefore much more doth idolatrie or infidelity which is a sinne farre more detestable then adulterie I answere that the questiō is not whether of these is the greater sin or more hainous in the sight of God for Infidelitie in both respects far exceedeth the other but whether of them is more repugnant to the nature and condition of wedlocke Now the sinne of adulterie is that alone which breakes the bond and renounceth the troth plighted in mariage and is the proper cause of a diuorce and not Idolatrie or Infidelitie The second note is parity or equalitie in regard of age and condition First of Age because though the mariage of persons whose yeares are farre vnequall is not expresly forbidden in the word yet is it agreeable to the rules of expediencie and decencie that the aged should match with the aged the yonger with the yonger Reasons are these First because the comforts of this societie in likelihood will by this meanes alwaies be equall and consequently bring the more contentment to either partie Secondly these vnequall mariages are often times offensiue to others Thirdly they cannot but in some cases proue offensiue euen to themselues For when a man of great yeares matcheth with a woman very yong or a yong stripling marrieth an aged woman the elder partie growing weake and impotent may the sooner come to be vnfit for mariage duties and the yonger being of greater strēgth and abilitie the more in danger of being exposed to incontinencie and that in the highest degree vnlesse he be restrained by Gods speciall grace For this cause it was a great fault wherewith one Apuleius was iustly charged that being but a very yong man he was married to a wife of 60. yeares of age Secondly of condition and estate For this also is answerable vnto the Apostles rule who exhorteth men to thinke of and to do those things which are true iust commendable and of good report Philip. 4. 8. Thus it is a seemely and commendable practise that the Prince the Noble man the free-man the gentleman the yeoman c. should be ioyned in societie with them that are of the same or like condition with themselues and not otherwise For this cause are the auncient Romans greatly to be commended who as we reade in their stories had such a carefull respect of their mariages in this
haue knowledge giuing honor to the woman as to the weaker vessell euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life that your prayers be not interrupted This dutie must bee kept especiallie the first yeare of mariage Deut. 24. 5. When a man taketh a wife hee shall not go on warfare neither shall be charged with any busines but shall bee free at home one yeare reioyce with his wife which he hath taken And the ground of this commandement no doubt is that they might learne to know one anothers cōditions and that they might worke a setled affection one towards another which afterward vpon no occasion might bee changed Yet they may bee absent each from other in two cases First vpon mutuall consent for a time for the performing of some busines that is requisite for the familie Prou. 7. 19. For mine husband is not at home he is gone a far iourney at the appointed time he will returne againe Secondly the like absence is allowed when some great and weightie affaires either in the Church or Common-wealth are in hand 2. Sam. 11. 9. 10. But Vriah slept at the doore of the Kings Palace with all the seruants of his Lord and went not downe to his house v. II. Then Vriah answered Dauid The Arke and Israel and Iudah dwell in tents and my Lord Ioab and all the seruants of my Lord abide in the open field shall I then go into my house to eate and drinke and lie with my wife by thy life and by the life of my soule I will not do this thing Hence ariseth a question What if after mariage consummate there grow vpon one of the parties a contagious disease that cannot be cured but is so lothsome that the other whole partie cannot endure cohabitation at all Answ. Both the mariage it selfe and the dutie of dwelling together ought to continue firme and sure notwithstanding yet so as the sound partie neither may nor ought in good conscience to desire coniunction with the other whereby he or she may bring infection vpon themselues and consequently hurt their children and indanger the Common-wealth But if either of the parties haue not the gift of continencie nor cannot abstaine they must sue for it vnto God in earnest prayer who will giue it vnto them For there God hath called a man or woman to continencie where they be necessarily hindred from the vse of the ordinarie and lawfull remedie of the contract The contrarie to Cohabitation is Desertion Desertion is when one of the married folkes vpon a wilfull and obstinate mind of their owne head departeth from the other without a iust and necessarie cause Touching this point there bee sundrie Cases expounded I. Case Suppose that an husband which is an vnbeleeuer or an heretike in the foundation of his owne accord vpon detestation of true religion quite forsakes the beleeuing wife and denies any more to dwell with her what is to be done Answ. All good meanes must bee first vsed to bring the infected partie to repentance and when none will succeed but the case remaineth desperate then mariage is dissolued on his part and the beleeuing wife is free to marrie another So saith the Apostle 1. Cor. 7. 15. If the vnbeleeuing partie depart let him depart a brother or a sister is not in subiection in such things but God hath called vs vnto peace In which words obserue a twofold reason I. He that is at libertie may marrie another now the beleeuing partie forsaken is at libertie because hee is not in subiection in such things therefore he may marrie another II. God hath called vs vnto peace saith Paul and this peace cannot be kept if the beleeuing partie forsaken cannot containe vnlesse he marrie Ambrose vpon the place saith That mariage cannot stand firme which is separated from the worship and seruice of God and therefore it is no sinne in the partie that is for saken for Gods cause to be married to another and the vnbeleeuer departing sinneth both against God and against the law of wedlock because he denies to remain in that estate in regard of religion Therefore hee breakes the couenant of mariage and the other is not bound in this case to keepe touch with him the master of the sentences saith That the beleeuing partie in this case is not bound to follow the vnbeleeuer when hee departeth but while hee liues may marrie another Augustine affirmeth that euen the wife which is ioyned to her husband in lawfull societie if shee will not abide with her Christian husband because he is a Christian may be forsaken and left without sin And it is far better that the couenant should be dissolued that man and wife haue made each with other then that the Couenant which man hath made with God The people of Israel being in affliction were constrained to break the former made with strange women that they might keepe the latter Ezra 10. 11. 19. It is alledged that the vnbeleeuing partie may haply repent and then to make a dissolution is in vaine But I say that it is as likely that he will neuer repent and therefore there is cause that the knot should be dissolued Againe it is lawfull say some to make a diuorce out of the case of Adulterie Answ. The belieuing partie which is forsaken is not the cause of the diuorce but is a patient of the separation wrongfully made by the vnbeleeuer And Christ where he mentioneth the Case of Adulterie Matth. 19. speaketh of an equall mariage whereas Paul speakes of an vnequall II. Case What if there fall out a desertion betweene two married folkes which are both beleeuers Answ. The faultie person who is the cause of this desertion is to be forced by course of Ciuill and Ecclesiasticall censure to performe his or her dutie Vpon which proceeding if he remaine obstinate and peruerse in will the other must in patience earnest prayer vnto God waite the time vntill his mind may be changed and he made to relent by the order of the Magistrate But if the one of them by iust occasion of feare be compelled to depart from the other and cannot returne againe without apparent danger of life in this case they are not bound to returne but the delinquent partie is to remaine solitarie till they be instructed and made willing to doe their duties and in the meane while the partie innocent must be resolued that God hath called him or her to single life Againe be it that the one is resolutely vnwilling to dwell with the other and thereupon flies away without any fault of the other if the thing after a long space bee sufficiently knowne before-hand and all possible meanes haue been vsed to reclaime the guiltie person yea being called he doth not personally appeare before the Iudge to yeeld a reason of the fact after publike and solemne declaration made the Minister vpon such desertion may pronounce the mariage to be dissolued For he
if any one in the familie starteth aside out of his calling and inticeth another to idolatrie he is to be reuealed Deut. 13. 6. And againe their case is very fearefull that do nothing in their houses but go finely and faire daintily from day to day This is the blacke marke that the Scripture sets vpon the rich glutton Luk. 16. 19. There was a certaine rich man which was cloathed in purple aud fine linen and fared deliciously euery day CHAP. 3. Of maried folkes A Familie is distinguished into sundry combinations or couples of persons A couple is that wherby two persons standing in mutuall relation to each other are combined together as it were in one And of these two the one is alwaies higher and beareth rule the other is lower and yeeldeth subiection Couples are of two sorts principall or lesse principall The principall is the combination of maried folkes and these are so termed in respect of Mariage Mariage is the lawfull coniunction of the two maried persons that is of one man and one woman into one flesh So was the first institution of mariage Gen. 2. 21. which is expounded by our Sauiour Christ Matth. 19. 6. Therfore they are no more two but one flesh And also by Paul Ephes. 5. 31. For this cause shall a man leaue father and mother and shall cleaue vnto his wife as two boords are ioyned together with glue and they which were two shall be one flesh Wherefore this is an eternal law of mariage that two and not three or foure shall be one flesh And for this cause the fathers who had many wiues and Concubines it may be that through custome they sinned of ignorance yet they are not in any wise to be excused Mariage of it selfe is a thing indifferent and the kingdome of God stands no more in it then in meats and drinks and yet it is a state in it selfe farre more excellent then the condition of single life For first it was ordained by God in Paradise aboue and before all other states of life in Adams innocencie before the fall Againe it was instituted vpon a most serious and solemne consultation among the three persons in the holy Trinitie Genes 1. 26. Let vs make man in our image according to our likenesse and let them rule ouer c. Gen. 2. 18. Iehouah Elohim said It is not good that the man should be himselfe alone I will make him an helpe meete for him Thirdly the manner of this coniunction was excellent for God ioyned our first parents Adam and Eue together immediately Fourthly God gaue a large blessing vnto the estate of mariage saying Increase and multiplie and fill the earth Lastly mariage was made appointed by God himselfe to be the fountaine and seminarie of all other sorts kinds of life in the Common-wealth and in the Church Now if mankind had continued in that vprightnes and integritie which it had by creation the state of single life had been of no price and estimation amongst men neither should it haue had any place in the world without great contempt of Gods ordinance and blessing Neuerthelesse since the fall to some men who haue the gift of continencie it is in many respects farre better then mariage yet not simplie but only by accident in regard of sundrie calamities which came into the world by sin For first it freeth a man from many and great cares of houshold affaires Againe it maketh him much more fit disposed to meditate of heauenly things without distraction of mind Besides that when dangers are either present or imminent in matters belonging to this life the single person is in this case happie because he and his are more secure and safe then others be who are in maried state 1. Cor. 7. 8. Therefore I say to the vnmaried and widowes It is good for them if they abide euen as I do vers 26. I suppose then this to be good for the present necessitie I meane that it is good for a man so to be vers 28. But if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgin marrie she sinneth not neuerthelesse such shall haue trouble in the flesh vers 32. And I would haue you without care The end of mariage is fourefold The first is procreation of children for the propagation and continuance of the seed and posteritie of man vpon the earth Gen. 1. 28. Bringforth fruit multiplie fill the earth and subdue it Genes 9. 1. 1. Tim. 5. 14. The second is the procreation of an holy seed wherby the Church of God may be kept holy and chaste and there may alwaies be a holy company of men that may worship and serue God in the Church from age to age Malach. 2. 15. And did not he make one yet had hee abundance of spirit and wherefore one because he sought a godly seed The third is that after the fall of mankind it might be a soueraigne meanes to auoid fornication and consequently to subdue and slake the burning lusts of the flesh 1. Cor. 7. 2. Neuerthelesse for the auoiding of fornication let euery man haue his wife and euery woman haue her husband vers 9. But if they cannot abstaine let them marrie for it is better to marrie then to burne And for this cause some Schoolemen doe erre who hold that the secret comming together of man and wife cannot be without sinne vnlesse it be done for procreation of children Lombard the master of the Sentences saith the contrarie namely that mariage before the fall was only a dutie but now since the fall it is also remedie The fourth end is that the parties married may thereby performe the duties of their callings in better and more comfortable manner Prou. 31. 11. The heart of her husband trusteth her and hee shall haue no need of spoile vers 13. She seeketh wooll and flaxe and laboureth cheerefully with her hands Mariage is free to al orders and sorts of men without exception euen to those that haue the gift of contimencie but for them which cannot abstaine it â—s by the expresse commandement of God necessarie Hebr. 13. 4. Mariage is honorable amongst all men and the bed vndefiled 1 Cor. 7. 9. But if they cannot abstaine let them marrie By which it appeareth to be a cleare case that the commandement of the Pope of Rome whereby he forbiddeth mariage of certaine persons as namely of Clergie men is meerely diabolicall for so writeth the Apostle 1. Tim. 4. 1. The spirit speaketh euidently that in the latter times some shall depart froÌ„ the faith and shall giue heed vnto spirits of error and doctrines of diuels vers 3. forbidding to marrie But against this doctrine sundrie things are alleaged Obiect 1. The Apostle commandeth the married among the Corinthes to abstaine with consent for a time that they might giue themselues to fasting and praier 1. Cor. 7. 5. I answere that Paul speakes not in that place of daily and common seruice of God in
as it is for the father to marrie the daughter or the sonne the mother Againe in the collaterall it is as vnlawful for the vncle by the mothers side to marrie the wife of his sisters son and so in other degrees as it is for him to match in the same degrees of cōsanguinitie The reason is because in these lines as well as in those of consanguinitie superiours and inferiours are each to other as parents and children From hence amongst other things it may bee gathered that it is in no sort lawful for a man when his wife is dead to marrie her sister Leuit. 18. 16. Thou shalt not discouer the shame of thy brothers wife for it is thy brothers shame And Leuit 20. 21. The man that taketh his brothers wife committeth filthines because he hath vncouered his brothers shame Against this doctrine it is obiected First that God commandeth not to take a wife with her sister during her life Leuit. 18. 18. in which place hee doth not simplie forbid a man to marry two sisters one after another but to marrie them both together and therefore after the wife is dead a man may marrie her sister Ans. The place is a flat prohibition of the sin of Polygamie For to take a wife to her sister in the Hebrew phrase is nothing else but to take two wiues one to another The like forme of speech is vsed otherwhere by Moses as Exo. 26. 3. Fiue curtaines shall bee coupled together the woman to her sister that is one to another and the other fiue curtaines shall be coupled the woman to her sister that is the one to the other Ezech. 1. 9. The foure beasts were ioyned with their wings the woman to her sister that is the one to the other Againe Moses himselfe there alledgeth two reasons against Polygamie the one is because the man is to loue cherish and comfort this wife whereas if he should take vnto him another besides her he should greatly vex his first lawfull wife The other because by that meanes he should vncouer the shame of his wife that is he should play a very dishonest part with her to whom he was before lawfully married Obiect 2 The Lord commanded by a speciall law that the brother in case his brother died without issue should take his wife and raise vp seede vnto him Deut. 25. 5. Answ. The words of Moses are a speciall exception of a generall law propounded in Leuit. 18. 16. Thou shalt not discouer the shame of thy brothers wife for it is thy brothers shame And they are peculiarly directed to the Israelites vpon speciall cause that when the elder brother died without seed the name of the first borne might not be extinct but the familie might bee preserued in that name by raising vp of seed vnto him which being a priuiledge proper to the Israelites vpon that speciall consideration it must not bee enlarged to any other sort of men whatsoeuer Neither is the text to be vnderstood of cousins remoued only as some thinke but also of the next of the kindred by blood as appeareth plainly by the historie of Ruth chap. I. vers II. in these words of Naomi to her daughters in law Turne againe my daughters for what cause will you go with me Are there any moe sonnes in my wombe that they may bee your husbands Turne againe my daughters go your way for I am too old to haue a husband c. III. Rule The wiues kinsman by blood is of affinitie to her husband only but vnto his kindred by blood the said kinsman hath no affinitie at all So on the contrarie it is true that though the husbands kinsman by blood be allied to his wife yet he hath no alliance to those that are kinsmen of blood vnto her The reason is because betweene the kindred of blood on the mans side and the kindred of blood on the womans side there is no affinitie For the prohibition of the degrees of affinitie hath force in those only which are the cause thereof and goeth no further Now the cause being only in the married persons themselues the effect may not in reason be enlarged to them that are of the same blood with either of them From this rule it followeth that the kindred of both married persons by blood may lawfully match together The sonne in law may match with the daughter of his mother in law The father and the son by another wife may marrie the mother and the daughter Two brothers may lawfully match with two sisters IV. Rule Kindred of affinitie to the wife are also kindred of affinitie to her husband but how not properly but only after a sort and as it were of affinitie So on the contrarie Kindred of alliance to the husband are as it were of alliance to his wife For example The wife of my father in law which is not my wiues owne mother but her step-mother is as it were my mother in law for she is as it were of affinitie to me because she is indeed of affinitie to my wife Those which are of affinitie only after a sort cannot conueniently match one with another And therefore the sonne in law may not marrie with his wiues step-mother because being of affinitie to his wife shee is in stead of a mother in law to him Neither may the daughter in law match with her husbands step-father because hee is as it were a step-father to her Againe my sisters husband may not marry my brothers wife for they are after a sort brother and sister each to other The reason hereof is because the wife is holden in law a part of her husband and therfore if affinitie hinders mariage with one of the married couples it hindreth as well in the like case and respect mariage with the other And thus much touching the distance of blood which in the choice of persons fit for mariage is most necessarily to be obserued For in the 18. chapter of Leuiticus there are sixteene seuerall sorts of persons with whom mariage is forbidden The first is the mother The second is the step-mother The thid the sister by the same father and mother The fourth the half-sister by one of the parents only The fifth is the neece by the sonne The sixth the neece by the daughter The seuenth the fathers sister The eight the vncles that is the fathers brothers wife The ninth the mothers sister The tenth the daughter in law or sons wife The eleuenth the brothers wife The twelfth the wiues mother The thirteenth the step-daughter or the wiues daughter by another husbād or husbāds daughter by a former wife The fourteenth is the step-sonnes daughter that is his daughter who was the wiues sonne by another husbād The fifteenth the step-daughters daughter The sixteenth is the wiues sister And not only these but all other answerable to them either in the same or like degree are by equall proportion forbidden to be had in mariage It is alledged
time proues incurablie contagious and so lothsome that the one may iustly feare to keepe and conuerse with the other as it falleth out when one is tainted with leprosie then the contract is vtterly to be dissolued as if God himself should haue commanded it though the promise was formerlie made the parties themselues should be vnwilling God hath ordained Matrimonie to helpe not to hurt either the persons themselues or others Where therefore these diseases be which may infect hurt or destroy others there God hath as it were testified from heauen that the act done is not pleasing vnto him and that presently it ought to be frustrate The contract being thus once dissolued the sounder partie shall be at his or her libertie to marrie againe But the diseased is by the Magistrates authoritie to be forbidden societie with any other in way of mariage and commanded to lead his life where he may conueniently from companie for feare of infection And withal he is for his owne part to sue vnto God by prayer in faith for the gift of continencie For certaine it is that he to whom God hath denied the power of vsing mariage with good conscience is thereby euen called to continencie and single life But if the disease be not contagious yet either incurable or so nastie that either of the espoused hath iust cause to be afraid of the others companie then both are to be aduised not to claime their right but willingly to surrender it each to other by mutuall consent that they may be free againe not bound by any former promise to liue together as man and wife Considering that they haue no hope mutually to conuerse together with comfort contentment while they so remaine Vpon this aduice giuen by their lawfull Pastor or some in his stead if they both yeeld or one of them at the least desires to be at his owne libertie the espousals are forthwith to be brokeÌ„ off But if neither will consent to a separation but rather proceed as they haue begun and in probability the one haue no iust cause to hold the other in suspition in respect of contagion they are not to be hindered from the consummation of their mariage Furthermore though one of them should haue a disease which is continuall without intermission yet curable or any other incoÌ„uenience should befall either of them after the sure-making wherby they become lame deafe or dumbe c. yet this is not a sufficient cause to moue them to renounce and dissolue the contract A second Case What if it falleth out that after the finishing of the contract one of the espoused persons bee long absent from the other so as the absence bee preiudiciall to the mariage that should ensue vpon the contract Answ. Inquirie must be made whether this absence be voluntarie or against the will of the partie If it be voluntarie For example if the man vpon an honest and iust cause the woman also being priuie thereunto shall go beyond seas and being admonished of his dutie before hand shal notwithstanding stay a whole yeare or more and will not returne but further wilfully absent himselfe then may it be lawfull to the woman to craue of the publike Magistrate a dissolution of the couenant made consequently marry another man vnlesse the former to whom she was contracted be heard of If he be then shall it be lawfull for him to pleade for himselfe and tendring no iust cause of his refusall he shall be forced by the Magistrates authoritie to stand to his promise and take the woman for his wife And the same order is to be taken in the wilfull absence of the woman after she is contracted If againe the man or woman shall vpon an euill mind and with purpose to deceiue each other absent theÌ„selues and depart meanes must be vsed that they may be admonished of their dutie That being done or at least vndertaken and yet the partie offending will not appeare if the other that is present vpon certaine knowledge of his or her want in respect of continencie shall sue to the Magistrate after publike and solemne notice giuen the contract may be broken But if on the other side either of them be absent against their wil and intendeth no fraud or deceit but is violently detained by captiuitie imprisonment sicknes force banishment transportation or such like then the partie present being desirous of the consummation of the mariage ought either to make meanes vnto him and expect his returne or haue certaine notice of his death before she promise or haue to do with any other in way of mariage A third Case What if after the contract one of the parties becomes furious or madde Answ. If the disease be continuall without intermission in all equitie and likelihood the espousals are to be dissolued vnlesse both parties after knowledge and experience of the disease haue knowne one another yet in this and all such like cases it is fit that all good meanes be tried and vsed and sufficient time be giuen for the restoring of the diseased to their former good estate and for the accomplishment of the mariage lawfully begun as before CHAP. 8. Of Mariage MAriage is that wherby the coniunction formerly begunne in the contract is solemnely manifested and brought to perfection Mariage is consummate by three sorts of actions one of the parents of the Bride and Bridegroome the other of the Minister in publike the third of the persons coupled together The action of the Parents is vpon the Mariage-day to bring the Bride and deliuer her to the Bride-groome that they two may become actually man and wife and performe each to other all matrimoniall duties And where the mariage is complete in any other manner so as the Parents vpon sound iudgement and deliberation shall deny their full and free consent either in expresse words or by coÌ„niuence and silence and that vpon iust and lawfull cause there though in the ciuill courts of men it may stand and the children borne therein bee legitimate before men yet the truth is before God it is of no force but a meere nullitie And because this doctrine touching consent of parents in these Cases is of great vse and auaileth much to the supporting and maiâ—â—â—ining of families I will first open the truth thereof and then proue it by reasons Vnder the name of parents are comprehended First the Father and Mother Secondly all Tutors and Guardians who haue the proper sole charge of wards or others vnder yeares of discretion Thirdly all such as are kindred of blood who are in stead of parents to childreÌ„ as the vncle by the fathers side the vncle by the mothers side and such like Now touching the consent of parents that is of father and mother I hold it requisite of necessitie to marriage For the authoritie of parents must not be resisted or violated As for Tutors and such as haue the place of parents their consent is not
that vpon malice flieth away from his mate is to bee holden in the same termes with an vnbelieuer who departs vpon detestation of religion and the seruice of God 1. Tim. 5. 8. Howbeit if the place whither he is fled be vnknowne and vpon his flight there be found some fault in the Plaintiffe she is not to be heard or set at libertie by the Iudge in this case though shee pretend want of the gift of continencie But suppose he that fled come againe vnlooked for and requires his spouse then in case the former course hath not bin taken nor iudgement giuen against him they may be reconciled and come together againe If it hath and matters be concluded hee is not vpon his returne to bee heard but rather seuerely punished Like vnto Desertion is malicious and spitefull dealing of married folkes one with the other Malicious dealing is when dwelling together they require each of other intolerable conditions and when the one doth not regard nor relieue the other being in danger or extremity as is meet For this is as much as to betray one anothers estate and life to their vtter enemies Heere it may be demanded what a belieuer should do who is in certaine and imminent danger either of losse of life or breach of conscience if they both abide together Answ. I. This certaine danger hath his originall either from one that is a stranger or from one of the parties If from a stranger then the husband either takes vpon him the defence of his belieuing wife or not if he doth then she ought to abide with him If not she may depart and prouide for her owne safetie II. Againe if the husband threatneth hurt the belieuing wife may flie in this case and it is all one as if the vnbelieuing man should depart For to depart from one and driue one away by threats are aequipollent Neither may this seeme strange vnto any that the belieuer in such case is allowed to depart For a husband that is a Christian is married two waies First with Christ and secondly with his wife The former mariage is made in Baptisme and is a more holy coniunction then is the latter Therfore when these two cannot stand together but one of them must needs be dissolued the latter must rather be left then the former Againe if the belieuer should remaine with the vnbelieuer she should haplie be vrged sometimes in case of danger vpon infirmitie to deny Christ make ship wracke of faith and good conscience which may in no sort be done of either partie and therefore separation is to be made rather in this society then that the coÌ„iunction with Christ should not stand firme and continue It is alledged that if this be so then the belieuing wife forsakes the vnbelieuing husband which she may not do Answ. She forsakes him not finally but leaues him for a time Againe the desertion is not made by the person which giueth place for the time but by him in whom is the cause of the desertion euen as he is not to be termed a Schismatike which separateth himself but hee in whom is the cause of the Schisme Againe it is obiected that he which flieth leaues his calling and euery man must abide in his calling according to the rule of the Apostle 1. Cor. 7. 20. Answ. There is a double calling The generall standing in the worship of God The particular as the calling of mariage or of single life When these two callings cannot stand together the latter must giue place to the former Luk. 14. 26. If any man come to me hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters yea and his owne life also he cannot be my disciple III. Case When the husband is perpetually absent from the wife what is to be done Answ. If he be absent either because he is in captiuitie or vpon malice or feare or any such like cause the wife must rest in expectation of his returne till she hath notice of his death either by sufficient testimonie or by apparant likelihoods Now in the want of testimonies and coniectures in this behalfe if the partie forsaken cannot certainly determine that the absence was made vpon an euill mind some haue thought that it behoueth her to expect his comming again for the space of foure years others of fiue some of seuen some of ten yeares after which time she is free and may marrie another man And if the partie do haplie returne againe after some long space of time who was probablie thought to haue been dead the latter maâ—iage vndertaken vpon necessarie ignorance of such an euent may be dissolued and it shall not be imputed to either partie considering it fell out not by their fault but only by accident Now if the question bee of wilfull and affected absence the same is to be determined concerning that which hath bin said before touching the point of Desertion CHAP. 10. Of the Communion of married folkes and of due beneuolence THe coÌ„munion of man wife is that dutie whereby they do mutually and willingly communicate both their persons goods each to other for their mutuall helpe necessitie and comfort Ephes. 5. 28. So ought meÌ„ to loue their wiues as their own bodies he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe This dutie consisteth principally in the performance of special beneuoleÌ„ce one to another that not of courtesie but of due debt 1. Cor. 7. 3. Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence and likewise also the wife vnto the husband Due beneuolence must be shewed with a singular and entire affection one towards another and that three waies principally First by the right and lawfull vse of their bodies or of the marriage-bed which is indeed an essentiall dutie of mariage The mariage-bed signifieth that solitarie and secret societie that is betweene man and wife alone And it is a thing of it owne nature indifferent neither good nor bad and so Paul numbereth it amongst indifferent things 1. Cor. 7. 27. Art thou bound vnto a wife seeke not to be loosed art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife Wherfore the Church of Rome erreth two contrarie waies First in that it maketh mariage to be a Sacrament and so euerie action of it to be of the owne nature good Secondly in that they prohibite mariage of certaine parties and the reason of the prohibition may seeme to be this that they thinke this secret comming together of man and wife to be filthines This was the sentence of Syricius that filthie Pope of Rome who determined that mariage was the vncleannesse of the flesh and to that purpose abused the words of the Apostle Rom. 8. 8. affirming that they which are in the flesh that is in the estate of Matrimonie cannot please God Yea and after that mariage was condemned by them some began to detest and hate women as Ephraim the Syrian of whoÌ„ Ecclesiasticall stories make
I pray thee one of the yong men and one of the asses for I will haste to the man of God and come againe Againe that shee is to follow her husband when hee flitteth or departeth from place to place vnlesse hee forsake either her or Christ. To this purpose Paul saith hee had power to lead about a wife being a sister as well as the rest of the Apostles 1. Cor. 9. 5. Thus Sarah went with Abraham into Egypt Gen. 12. 11. and out of Egypt Gen. 13. 1. and to Gerar to soiourne there Gen. 20. 1. 2. 3. Thus the wiues of Iacob departed with him from their father Laban Gen. 31. 17. Contrary to these duties are the sins of wiues To be proud to be vnwilling to beare the authority of their husbāds to chide and braule with bitternes to forsake their houses c. Prou. 27. 15. A continuall dropping in the day of raine and a contentious woman are alike vers 16. He that hideth her hideth the winde she is as the oyle in his right hand that vttereth it selfe Exod. 4. 26. Then Zipporah said O bloodie husband because of the Circumcision It was the fault of the Leuites Concubine Iudg. 19. 2. Who played the whore and went away from him vnto her fathers house to Bethlem Iudah and there continued the space of foure moneths It was the sinne of Queene Vashi who refused to come at the Kings word which he had giuen in charge to the Eunuches therefore the King was verie angrie and his warth kindled in him Ester 1. 12. Lastly to be a cause of griefe to their kindred Thus the proud wiues of Esau the daughters of the Hittites were a griefe of mind to Isaak and Rebekah Gen. 26. 35. 27. 46. CHAP. 13. Of the Parent HItherto hath been treated of the first Couple whereof the family cōsisteth namely of married folkes Now follow the other and they are of two sorts either such as whereby the familie is increased and multiplied or such as are helpes thereunto Those whereby the familie is inlarged are also of two sorts Parents and Children Parents are they which haue power and authoritie ouer children The duties of parents are especially two One to bring vp their children The other to bestow them when they haue brought them vp Touching Education or bringing vp of children the parents care must bee both that they may liue and also that they may liue well Ephes. 6. 4. Touching the preseruation of the life of the child there are many duties required of the Parents specially foure First the mother is her selfe to giue the infant sucke and to wrap it vp in swadling clothes Paul cōmends it for a note of a good wife to nurse her owne children 1. Tim. 5. 10. Thus Sarah gaue sucke to Isaak Gen. 21. 7. Anna nursed Samuel 1. Sam. 1. 22. Dauid in likelihood was nursed by his mother Psal. 22. 9. Thou gauest me hope euen at my mothers breasts And our Sauiour Christ was also nursed by Marie his mother Luk. 11. 27. and swadled Luk. 2. 7. Now the reason hereof is plaine God hath giuen milke to women that beare children hath so appointed that no meat is more naturall to the child then the mothers milke And nature it selfe teacheth this in the course of other creatures The earth nourisheth that which it bringeth forth The fruit which the tree beareth is fed by the sap that comes from the root therof Yea amongst the bruit beasts euen those that be most sauage as the Tigres do giue sucke vnto the yong ones which they bring forth Yet in case of want of health or abilitie or any other iust impediment the mother may in equity beforborne and the child committed vnto a nurse And so we reade that Rebekah the daughter of Bethuel and afterward the wife of Isaak had a nurse Genes 24. 59. whose name was Deborah Gen. 35. 8. And Pharaohs daughter in a case of necessitie committed Moses to be nursed of an Hebrew woman whom she tooke not to be his mother but a stranger and her fact was allowed by God Exod. 2. 7. 9. The second dutie of the Parent is to prouide for his child meate drinke and clothing Our Sauiour Christ saith that Parents euen by the light of nature though they be euill will not denie or withhold necessarie food from their children Mat. 7. 9. 10. What man is there among you that if his son aske him bread will giue him a stone or if he aske a fish will giue him a scorpion And Paul saith If there be any that prouideth not for his owne and namely for them of his houshold hee denieth the faith and is worse then an Infidell 1. Tim. 5. 8. The third dutie is when God giueth abilitie meanes to lay vp some thing for the future maintenance of the child 2. Cor. 12. 14. for the children ought not to lay vp for the fathers but the fathers for the children Prou. 19. 14. House and riches are the inheritance of the fathers The fourth is to obserue both the inclination and the naturall gifts of bodie and mind that are in the child and accordingly to bestow it in some honest calling course of life Prou. 20. 11. A child is knowne by his actions whether his worke be pure and right In the Ecclesiasticall historie written by Ruffinus it is recorded that Alexander Bishop of Alexandria saw a far off in a place neare to the sea a companie of children playing together and in their play imitating himselfe in sundrie Ministeriall actions And whē he had a while viewed them he perceiued that they examined baptised one another according to the solemne order vsed in y ◠Cōgregation which thing whē he had made some of his Clergie acquainted withall and taken order that the children should be sent for and brought before him he demanded of them what sport they vsed and in what manner they played one with another The children at first for feare denied what they had done yet vpon further examination they confessed that they had made Athanasius who afterward became Bishop of the place their Bishop and that hee instructed and baptised sundrie of their companie He further asked both Athanasius himselfe and those which were said to haue been baptised what questions he asked them and what answeres they gaue and perceiuing by their speeches that they had framed themselues though in sporting maner to the Church-proceedings in those actions vpon conference had with his Clergie hee determined that those which had first been asked and had giuen answere fully according to the forme vsed in that Church and thereupon baptised should not be rebaptised And for Athanasius and the other children which had done the part of Ministers in their kind he sent for their parents and gaue them great charge that they should be brought vp in learning and religion that so they might in time be fit for the publike Ministerie The like course we reade to haue