Anna shed Who in her sonne her solace had forgone Then I to dayes and weekes to moneths and yeeres Do owe the hourely rent of stintlesse teares If loue if losse if fault if spotted fame If danger death if wrath or wreck of weale Entitle eyes true heyres to earned blame That due remorse in such euents conceale That want of teares might well enrole my name As chiefest Saint in Calendar of shame Loue where I lou'd was due and best deseru'd No loue could ayme at more loue-worthy mark No loue more lou'd then mine of him I seru'd Large vse he gaue a flame for euery sparke This loue I lost this losse a life must rue Yea life is short to pay the ruth is due I lost all that I had and had the most The most that will can wish or wit deuise I least perform'd that did most vainely boast I staynd my fame in most infamous wise What danger then death wrath or wreck can moue More pregnant cause of teares then this I proue If Adam sought a veyle to scarfe his sinne Taught by his fall to feare a scourging hand If men shall wish that hils should wrap them in When crimes in finall doome come to be scand What Mount what Caue what Center can conceale My monstrous fact which euen the birds reueale Come shame the liuery of offending minde The vgly shroud that ouer-shadoweth blame The mulct at which foule faults are iustly fin'd The dampe of sinne the common sluce of fame By which impostum'd tongues their humours purge Light shame on me I best deseru'd the scourge Cains murdring hand imbrude in brothers bloud More mercy then my impious tongue may craue He kild a riuall with pretence of good In hope Gods doubled loue alone to haue But feare so spoyld my vanquisht thoughts of loue That periur'd oathes my spitefull hate did proue Poore Agar from her pheere inforc't to flie Wandring in Barsabian wildes alone Doubting her child through helplesse drought would dye Laid it aloofe and set her downe to moue The heauens with prayers her lap with teares she fild A mothers loue in losse is hardly stild But Agar now bequeath thy teares to me Feares not effects did set a-floate thine eyes But wretch I feele more then was feard of thee Ah not my Sonne my soule it is that dies It dies for drought yet hath a spring in sight Worthy to die that would not liue and might Faire Absoloms foule faults compar'd with mine Are brightest sands to mud of Sodome Lakes High aymes yong spirits birth of royall line Made him play false where Kingdoms were the stakes He gaz'd on golden hopes whose lustre winnes Sometime the grauest wits to grieuous sinnes But I whose crime cuts off the least excuse A Kingdome lost but hop't no mite of gaine My highest marke was but the worthlesse vse Of some few lingring howers of longer paine Vngratefull child his Parent he pursude I Gyants warre with God himselfe renude Ioy infant Saints whom in the tender flower A happy storme did free from feare of sinne Long is their life that die in blisfull hower Ioyfull such ends as endlesse ioyes begin Too long they liue that liue till they be nought Life sau'd by sinne base purchase dearely bought This lot was mine your fate was not so fearce Whom spotlesse death in Cradle rockt asleepe Sweet Roses mixt with Lillies strew'd your hearce Death Virgine white in Martyrs red did steepe Your downy heads both Pearles and Rubies crown'd My hoary locks did female feares confound You bleating Ewes that wayle this woluish spoyle Of sucking Lambs new bought with bitter throwes T'inbalme your babes your eyes distill their oyle Each heart to tombe her child wide rupture showes Rue not their death whom death did but reuiue Yeeld ruth to me that liu'd to die aliue With easie losse sharpe wrecks did he eschew That Sindonlesse aside did naked slip Once naked grace no outward garment knew Rich are his robes whom sinne did neuer strip I rich in vaunts displaid prides fairest flags Disrob'd of grace am wrapt in Adams rags When traytor to the sonne in Mothers eyes I shall present my humble sute for grace What blush can paint the shame that will arise Or write my inward feeling in my face Might she the sorrow with the sinner see Though I despisde my griefe might pitied be But ah how can her eares my speech endure Or sent my breath still reeking hellish steeme Can mother like what did the Sonne abiure Or heart deflowr'd a Virgins loue redeeme The Mother nothing loues that Sonne doth loath Ah loathsome wretch detested of them both O sister Nymphes the sweet renowned paire That blesse Bethania bounds with your abode Shall I infect that sanctified ayre Or staine those steps where Iesus breath'd and trode No let your prayers perfume that sweetned place Turne me with Tygers to the wildest chase Could I reuiued Lazarus behold The third of that sweet Trinity of Saints Would not abstonisht dread my senses hold Ah yes my heart euen with his naming faints I seeme to see a messenger from hell That my prepared torments comes to tell O Iohn O Iames we made a triple cord Of three most louing and best louing friends My rotten twist was broken with a word Fit now to fuell fire among the Fiends It is not euer true though often spoken That triple twisted cord is hardly broken The dispossed Diuels that out I threw In IESVS name now impiously forsworne Triumph to see me caged in their mew Trampling my ruines with contempt and scorne My periuries were musicke to their dance And now they heape disdaines on my mischance Our Rocke say they is riuen O welcome howre Our Eagles wings are clipt that wrought so hie Our thundring Cloud made noise but cast no showre He prostrate lies that would haue seal'd the skie In womans tongue our runner found a rub Our Cedar now is shrunke into a shrub These scornefull words vpraid my inward thought Proofes of their damned prompters neighbours voice Such vgly guests still wait vpon the nought Fiends swarme to soules that swarue from vertues choice For breach of plighted truth this true I try Ah that my deed thus gaue my word the lie Once and but once too deare a once to twice it A heauen in earth Saints neere my selfe I saw Sweet was the sight but sweeter loues did spice it But sights and loues did my misdeed withdraw From heauen and Saints to hell and Deuils estrang'd Those sights to frights those loues to hates are chang'd Christ as my God was templed in my thought As man he lent mine eyes their dearest light But sinne his temple hath to ruine brought And now he lightneth terrour from his sight Now of my late vnconsecrate desires Profaned wretch I taste the earned hires Ah sinne the nothing that doth all things file Out-cast from heauen earths curse the cause of hell Parent of death author of our exile The wrecke of soules the wares that
those vnspotted eyes encountred mine As spotlesse Sunne doth on the dunghill shine Sweet volumes stor'd with learning fit for Saints Where blisfull quires imparadize their mindes Wherein eternall study neuer faints Still finding all yet seeking all it findes How endlesse is your labyrinth of blisse Where to be lost the sweetest finding is Ah wretch how oft haue I sweet lessons read In those deare eyes the registers of truth How oft haue I my hungry wishes fed And in their happy ioyes redrest my ruth Ah that they now are Heralds of disdaine That erst were euer pitiers of my paine You flames diuine that sparkle out your heates And kindle pleasing fires in mortall hearts You Nectar'd Aumbries of soule feeding meates You gracefull quiuers of loues dearest darts You did vouchsafe to warme to wound to feast My cold my stony my now famisht breast The matchlesse eyes matcht onely each by other Were pleas'd on my ill matched eyes to glance The eye of liquid pearle the purest mother Broch't teares in mine to weepe for my mischance The cabinets of grace vnlockt their treasure And did to my misdeed their mercies measure These blazing Comets lightning flames of loue Made me their warming influence to know My frozen heart their sacred force did proue Which at their lookes did yeeld like melting snow They did not ioyes in former plentie carue Yet sweet are crums where pined thoughts do starue O liuing mirrours seeing whom you shew Which equall shadowes worths with shadowed things Yea make things nobler then in natiue hew By being shap't in those life-giuing springs Much more my image in those eyes were grac't Then in my selfe whom sinne and shame defac't All-seeing eyes more worth then all you see Of which one is the others onely price I worthlesse am direct your beames on me With quickning vertue cure my killing vice By seeing things you make things worth the sight You seeing salue and being seene delight O Pooles of Hesebon the baths of grace Where happy spirits dine in sweet desires Where Saints delight to glasse their glorious face VVhose bankes make Eccho to the Angels quires An Eccho sweeter in the sole rebound Then Angels musicke in the fullest sound O eyes whose glances are a silent speech In cipherd words high mysteries disclosing Which with a looâ—e all Sciences can teach Whose texts to faithfull hearts need little glosing Witnesse vnworthy I who in a looke Learn'd more by rote then all the Scribes by booke Though malice still possest their hardned minds I though too hard learn'd softnesse in thine eye Which yron knots of stubburne will vnbinds Offring them loue that loue with loue will buy This did I learne yet they could not discerne it But wo that I had now such need to learne it O Sunnes all but your selues in light excelling Whose presence day whose absence causeth night Whose neighbour course brings Sommer cold expelling Whose distant periods freeze away delight Ah that I lost your bright and fostering beames To plonge my soule in these congealed streames O gracious Spheres where loue the Center is A natiue place for our selfe-loaden soules The compasse loue a cope that none can misse The motion loue that round about vs roules O Spheres of loue whose Center cope and motion Is loue of vs loue that inuites deuotion O little worlds the summes of all the best Where glory heauen God sunne all vertues starres Where fire a loue that next to heauen doth rest Ayre light of life that no distemper marres The water grace whose seas whose springs whose showers Cloth natures earth with euerlasting flowers What mixtures these sweet Elements do yel'd Let happy worldlings of those worlds expound But simples are by compounds farre exceld Both sute a place where all best things abound And if a banisht wretch ghesse not amisse All but one compound frame of perfect blisse I out-cast from these worlds exiled rome Poore Saint from heauen from fire cold Salamander Lost fish from those sweet waters kindly home From land of life stray'd Pilgrime still I wander I know the cause these worlds had neuer hell In which my faults haue best deseru'd to dwell O Bethlem cesterns Dauids most desire From which my sinnes like fierce Philistims keepe To fetch your drops what Champion should I hire That I therein my withered heart may steepe I would not shead them like that holy King His were but types these are the figured thing O Turtle twinnes all bath'd in Virgins milke Vpon the margine of full flowing banks Whose gracefull plume surmounts the finest silke Whose sight enamoureth heauens most happy ranks Could I forsweare this heauenly payre of Doues That cag'd in care for me were groning loues Twise Moses wand did strike the stubburne Rocke Ere stony veines would yeeld their chrystall bloud Thy eies one looke seru'd as an onely knocke To make mine heart gush out a weeping floud Wherein my sinnes as fishes spawne their frie To shew their inward shames and then to die But ô how long demurre I on his eyes Whose looke did pierce my heart with healing wound Launcing impostum'd sore of periur'd lyes Which these two issues of mine â—yes haue found Where runne it must till death the issues stop And penall life hath purg'd the finall drop Like solest Swan that swims in silent deepe And neuer sings but obsequies of death Sigh out thy plaints and sole in secret weepe In suing pardon spend thy periur'd breath Attire thy soule in sorrowes mourning weed And at thine eyes let guilty conscience bleed Still in the Limbecke of thy dolefull brest These bitter fruits that from thy sinnes do grow For fuell selfe accusing thoughts be best Vse feare as fire the coales let penance blow And seeke none other quintessence but teares That eyes may shead what entred at thine eares Come sorrowing teares the off-spring of my griefe Scant not your Parent of a needfull ayde In you I rest the hope of wisht reliefe By you my sinfull debts must be defrayd Your power preuailes your sacrifice is gratefull By loue obtaining life to men most hatefull Come good effects of ill-deseruing cause Ill gotten impes yet vertuously brought forth Selfe-blaming probates of infringed Lawes Yet blamed faults redeeming with your worth The signes of shame in you each eye may reade Yet while you guilty proue you pitty pleade O beames of mercy beate on sorrowes Clowd Proue suppling showers vpon my parched ground Bring forth the fruit to your due seruice vow'd Let good desires with like deserts be crown'd Water yong blooming vertues tender flowre Sinne did all grace of riper growth deuoure Weepe Balme and Myrrhe you sweet Arabian trees With purest gummes perfume and pearle your ryne Shead on your hony drops you busie Bees I barraine plant must weepe vnpleasant bryne Hornets I hyue salt drops their labour plyes Suckt out of sinne and shed by showring eyes If Dauid night by night did bathe his bed Esteeming longest dayes too short to moue Inconsolable teares if
am no thrall I burie not my thoughts in mettall Mines I ayme not at such fame as feareth fall I seeke and finde a light that euer-shines Whose glorious beames display such heauenly sights As yeeld my soule a summe of all delights My light to loue my loue to life doth guide To life that liues by loue and loueth light By loue to one to whom all loues are tyed By duest debt and neuer equall right Eyes light hearts loue soules truest life he is Consorting in three ioyes one perfect blisse A FANCY TVRNED to a Sinners Complaint HE that his mirth hath lost Whose comfort is to rue Whose hope is fallen whose faith is cras'd Whose trust is found vntrue If he haue held them deare And cannot ceasse to mone Come let him take his place by me He shall not rue alone But if the smallest sweete Be mixt with all his sowre If in the day the moneth the yeare He feele one lightning howre Then rest he with himselfe He is no mate for me Whose time in teares whose race in ruth Whose life a death must be Yet not the wished death That feeles no paine or lacke That making free the better part Is onely Natures wracke O no that were too well My death is of the minde That alwaies yeeld extreamest pangs Yet threatens worse behinde As one that liues in shew And inwardly doth dye Whose knowledge is a bloudy field Where Vertue slaine doth lye Whose heart the Altar is And hoast a God to moue From whom my ill doth feare reuenge His good doth promise loue My Fansies are like thornes In which I go by night My frighted wits are like an hoast That force hath put to flight My sense is passions spye My thoughts like ruines old Which shew how faire the building was While grace did it vphold And still before mine eyes My mortall fall they lay Whom grace and vertue once aduanc't Now sinne hath cast away O thoughts no thoughts but wounds Sometime the Seate of ioy Sometime the store of quiet rest But now of all annoy I sow'd the soyle of peace My blisse was in the spring And day by day the fruit I eate That Vertues tree did bring To Nettles now my corne My field is turn'd to flint Where I a heauy haruest reape Of cares that neuer stint The peace the rest the life That I enioyd of yore Were happy lot but by their losse My smart doth sting the more So to vnhappy men The best frames to the worst O time ô place where thus I fell Deare then but now accurst In was stands my delight In is and shall my wo My horrour fastned in the yea My hope hangs in the no. Vnworthy of reliefe That craued is too late Too late I finde I finde too well Too well stood my estate Behold such is the end That pleasure doth procure Of nothing else but care and plaint Can she the minde assure Forsaken first by grace By pleasure now forgotten Her paine I feele but graces wage Haue others from me gotten Then grace where is the ioy That makes thy torments sweet Where is the cause that many thought Their deaths through thee but meet Where thy disdaine of sinne Thy secret sweet delight Thy sparkes of blisse thy heauenly ioyes That shined erst so bright O that they were not lost Or I could it excuse O that a dreame of fained losse My iudgement did abuse Or fraile inconstant flesh Soone trapt in euery ginne Soone wrought thus to betray thy soule And plonge thy selfe in sinne Yet hate I but the fault And not the faulty one Ne can I rid from me the mate That forceth me to moane To moane a sinners case Then which was neuer worse In Prince or poore in yong or old In blest or full of curse Yet Gods must I remaine By death by wrong by shame I cannot blot out of my heart That grace writ in his name I cannot set at nought Whom I haue held so deere I cannot make him seeme afarre That is in deed so neere Not that I looke hence-forth For loue that earst I found Sith that I brake my plighted truth To build on fickle ground Yet that shall neuer faile Which my faith bare in hand I gaue my vow my vow gaue me Both vow and gift shall stand But since that I haue sinn'd And scourge none is too ill I yeeld me captiue to my curse My hard fate to fulfill The solitary Wood My City shall become The darkest dennes shall be my Lodge In which I rest or come A sandy plot my boord The wormes my feast shall be Where-with my carkasse shall be fed Vntill they feed on me My teares shall be my wine My bed a craggy Rocke My harmony the Serpents hisse The screeching Owle my clocke My exercise remorse And dolefull sinners layes My booke remembrance of my crimes And faults of former dayes My walke the path of plaint My prospect into hell Where Iudas and his cursed crue In endlesse paines do dwell And though I seeme to vse The faining Poets stile To figure forth my carefull plight My fall and my exile Yet is my griefe not fain'd Wherein I starue and pine Who feeles the most shall thinke it least If his compare with mine Dauids Peccaui IN Eaues sole Sparrow sits not more alone Nor mourning Pellican in Desart wilde Then silly I that solitary mone From highest hopes to hardest hap exilde Sometime ô blissefull time was vertues meede Ayme to my thoughts guide to my word and deede But feares are now my Pheeres griefe my delight My teares my drinke my famisht thoughts my bread Day full of dumps Nurse of vnrest the night My garments gyues a bloudy field my bed My sleepe is rather death then deaths allye Yet kill'd with murd'ring pangs I cannot dye This is the chance of my ill changed choyse To pleasant tunes succeeds a playning voice The dolefull eccho of my wayling minde Which taught to know the worth of vertues ioyes Doth hate it selfe for louing fancies toyes If wiles of wit had ouer-raught my will Or subtile traines misled my steppes awry My foyle had found excuse in want of skill Ill deed I might though not ill doome deny But wit and will must now confesse with shame Both deede and doome to haue deserued blame I Fansie deem'd fit guide to leade my way And as I deem'd I did pursue the tracke Wit lost his ayme and will was Fansies prey The Rebels wan the Rulers went to wracke But now sith Fansie did with folly end Wit bought with losse Will taught by wit will mend Sinnes heauie load O Lord my sinnes do ouer-charge thy brest The poyse thereof doth force thy knees to bow Yea flat thou fallest with my faults opprest And bloudie sweat runs trickling from thy brow But had they not to Earth thus pressed thee Much more they would in Hell haue pestred me This Globe of Earth doth thy one finger prop The world thou do'st within thy hand
my loue my sonne my God behold thy mother washt in teares Thy bloudy wounds be made a rod to chasten these my latter yeares You cruell Iewes come worke your ire vpon this worthlesse flesh of mine And kindle not eternall fire by wounding him which is diuine Thou messenger that didst impart his first descent into my wombe Come helpe me now to cleaue my heart that there I may my sonne intombe You Angels all that present were to shew his birth with harmonie Why are you not now readie here to make a mourning symphony The cause I know you waile alone and shed your teares in secrecie Lest I should moued be to mone by force of heauie companie But waile my soule thy comfort dies my wofull wombe lament thy fruit My heart giue teares vnto mine eyes let sorrow string my heauie lute An holy Hymne PRaise O Sion praise thy Sauiour Praise thy captaine thy pastour With hymnes and solemne harmony What power affords performe indeed His workes all praises farre exceede No praise can reach his dignity A speciall theame of praise is read A liuing and life giuing bread Is on this day exhibited Within the Supper of our Lord To twelue disciples at his bord As doubtlesse t was deliuered Let our praise be lou'd and free Full of ioy and decent glee With minds and voices melody For now solemnize we that day Which doth with ioy to vs display The secret of this mystery At this boord of our new ruler Of old law and Pascall order The ancient right abolisheth Old decrees by new annil'd Shadowes are in truth fulfil'd Day former darknesse finisheth That at supper Christ performed To be done he straightly charged For his eternall memorie Guided by his sacred orders Bread and wine vpon our alters To sauing host we sanctifie Christians are by faith assured That by faith flesh is receiued And Christ his bloud most precious That no wit no sense conceiueth Firme and grounded faith beleeueth In strange effects not curious As staffe of bread thy heart sustaines And chearefull wine thy strength regaines By power and vertue naturall So doth this consecrated food Them symbole of Christ flesh bloud By vertue supernaturall The ruines of thy soule repaire Banish sinne horrour and despaire And feed faith by faith receiued Angels bread made Pilgrims feeding Truely bread for childrens eating To dogs not to be offered Sign'd by Isack on the altar By the Lambe and pascall Supper And in the Manna figured Iesu food and feeder of vs Here with mercie feed and friend vs Then graunt in heauen felicitie Lord of all whom here thou feedest Fellow heires guests with thy dearest Make vs in thy heauenly citie S. Peters afflicted mind IF that the sicke may grone Or Orphane mourne his losse If wounded wretch may rue his harmes Or caitife shew his crosse If heart consum'd with care May vtter signe of paine Then may my breast be sorrowes home And tongue with cause complaine My maladie is sinne And languor of the mind My body but a lazars couch Wherein my soule is pinde The care of heauenly kinde Is dead to my reliefe Forlorne and left like orphan child With sighes I feed my griefe My wounds with mortall smart My dying soule torment And prisoner to mine owne mishaps My follies I repent My heart is but the haunt Where all dislikes do keepe And who can blame so lost a wretch Though teares of bloud he weepe S. Peters remorse REmorse vpbraids my faults Selfe blaming conscience cries Sin claimes the hoast of hūbled thoughts And streames of weeping eyes Let penance Lord preuaile Let sorrow sue release Let loue be vmpier in my cause And passe the doome of peace If doome go by desert My least desert is death That robs from soule immortall ioyes From body mortall breath But in so high a God So base a wormes annoy Can adde no praise vnto thy power No blisse vnto thy ioy Well may I frie in flames Due fuell to hell-fire But on a wretch to wreake thy wrath Can not be worth thine ire Yet sith so vile a worme Hath wrought his greatest spite Of highest treason well thou maist In rigor him indite But mercy may relent And temper iustice rod For mercy doth as much belong As iustice to a God If former time or place More right to mercy winne Thou first wert author of my selfe Then vmpier of my sinne Did mercy spin the thread To weaue in iustice loome Wert thou a father to conclude With dreadfull Iudges doome It is a small reliefe To say I was thy child If as an ill deseruing foe From grace I am exilde I was I had I could All words importing want They are but dust of dead supplies Where needfull helpes are scant Once to haue beene in blisse That hardly can returne Doth not bewray from whence I fell And wherefore now I mourne All thoughts of passed hopes Increase my present crosse Like ruines of decayed ioyes They still vpbraid my losse O milde and mighty Lord Amend that is amisse My sinne my sore thy loue my salue Thy cure my comfort is Confirme thy former deeds Reforme that is defild I was I am I will remaine Thy charge thy choise thy child Man to the wound in Christs side O Pleasant sport ô place of rest O royal rift ô worthy wound Come harbour me a weary guest That in the world no case haue found I lie lamenting at thy gate Yet dare I not aduenture in I beare with me a troublous mate And combred am with heape of sinne Discharge me of this heauy load That easier passage I may find Within this bowre to make aboad And in this glorious tombe be shrin'd Here must I liue here must I die Here would I vtter all my griefe Here would I all those paines descrie Which here did meet for my reliefe Here would I view that bloudy sore Which dint of spitefull speare did breed The bloudy wounds laid there in store Would force a stony heart to bleed Here is the spring of trickling teares The mirrour of all mourning wights With dolefull tunes for dumpish eares And solemne shewes for sorrowed sights O happie soule that flies so hie As to attaine this sacred caue Lord send me wings that I may flie And in this harbour quiet haue Vpon the Image of death BEfore my face the picture hangs That daily should put me in mind Of those cold names and bitter pangs That shortly I am like to find But yet alas full little I Do thinke hereon that I must die I often looke vpon a face Most vgly grisly bare and thinne I often view the hollow place Where eyes and nose had somtimes bin I see the bones acrosse that lie Yet little thinke that I must die I reade the Labell vnderneath That telleth me whereto I must I see the sentence eke that saith Remember man thou art dust But yet alas but seldome I Do thinke indeed that I must die Continually at my beds head An
seeke thee readiest to annoint thee and when she saw that thou wert remoued she forthwith did weepe for thee and presently went for helpe to finde thee And whereas those two that she brought being lesse carefull of thee than fearefull of themselues when they had seene what she had said sodainely shrunke away behold she still stayeth she still seeketh she still weepeth If this be a fault we cannot deny but this she doth and to this she perswadeth yea this she neither meaneth to amend nor requesteth thee to forgiue if therfore thou reckonest this as punishable punished she must be sith no excuse hath effect where the fact pleadeth guiltie But if this import not any offence but a true affection and be rather a good desire than an euill desert why art thou so hard a Iudge to so soft a creature requiting her loue with thy losse and suspending her hopes in this vnhappinesse Are not those thy words I loue those that loue me and who watcheth early for me shall find me why then doth not this woman find thee that was vp so early to watch for thee Why doest thou not with like repay her that bestoweth vpon thee her whole loue sith thy word is her warrant and thy promise her due debt Art thou lesse moued with these teares that she sheddeth for thee her onely Master than thou wert with those that she shed before thee for her deceassed brother Or doth her loue to thy seruant more please thee than her loue to thy selfe Our loue to others must not be to them but to thee in them For he loueth thee so much the lesse that loueâ—h any thing with thee If therefore she then deserued well for louing thee in another she deserued better now for louing thee in thy selfe and if indeed thou louest those that loue thee make thy word good to her that is so farre in loue with thee Of thy selfe thou hast said that thou art The way the truth and the life If then thou art a way easie to find and neuer erring how doth she misse thee If a life giuing life and neuer ending why is she ready to dye for thee If a true promising truth and neuer failing how is she bereaued of thee For if what thy tongue did speake thy truth will auerre she will neuer aske more to make her most happy Remember that thou saidst to her sister that Mary had chosen the best part which should not be taken from her That she chose the best parâ— is out of question sith she made choise of nothing but only of thee But how can it be verified that this part shal not be taken from her sith thou that art this part art already taken away If she could haue kept thee she would not haue lost thee and had it bene in her power as it was in her will she would neuer haue parted from thee and might she now be restored to thy presence she would trie all fortunes rather than for go thee Sith therefore she seeketh nothing but what she chose and the losse of her choise is the only cause of her combat either vouchsafe thou to keep this best part that she chose in her or I see not how it can be true that it shall not be taken from her But thy meaning haply was that though it be taken from her eyes yet it should neuer be taken from her heart it may be thy inward presence supplyeth thine outward absence yet I can hardly thinke but that if Mary had thee within her she could feele it and if she felt it she would neuer seeke thee Thou art too hot a fire to be in her bosome and not to burne her and thy light is too great to leaue her mind in this darknesse if it shined in her In true louers euery part is an eye and euery thought a looke and therefore so sweet an obiect among so many eyes and in so great a light could neuer lye so hidden but loue would espy it No no if Mary had thee her innocent heart neuer taught to dissemble could not make complaint the out-side of a concealed comfort neither would she turne her thoughts to pasture in a dead mans Tombe if at home she might bid them to so heauenly a banquet Her loue would not haue a thought to spare nor a minute to spend in any other action than in enioying of thee whom she knew too well to abridge the least part of her from so high an happinesse For her thirst of thy presence was so exceeding and the sea of thy ioyes so well able to afford her a full draught that though euery parcell in her should take in a whole tide of thy delights she would thinke them too few to quiet her desires Yea doubtlesse if she had thee within her she would not enuie the fortune of the richest Empresse yea she would more reioyce to be thy Tombe in earth than a throne in heauen and disdaine to be a Saint if she were worthy to be but thy shrine But paraduenture it is now with her mind as it was with the Apostles eyes and as they seeing thee walke vpon the Sea took thee for a Ghost so she seeing thee in her hart deemeth thee but a fancy being yet better acquainted with thy bodily shape than with thy spirituall power But ô Mary it seemeth too strange that he whom thou seekest and for whom thou weepest should thus giue thee ouer to these painefull fits if in thee he did not see a cause for which he will not be seene of thee Still thy plaint and stint thy weeping for I doubt there is some trespasse in thy teares some sinne in thy sorrow Doest thou not remember his words to thee and to other women when he said Daughters of Ierusalem weepe not for me but weepe for your selues and for your children What meanest thou then to continue this course Doth he sorbid thy teares and wilt thou not forbeare them Is it no fault to infringe his will or is not that his will that his words do import The fault must be mended ere the penance be released and therefore either ceasse to weepe or neuer hope to finde But I know this Logicke little pleaseth thee and I might as soone win thee to forbeare liuing as to leaue weeping Thou wilt say that though he forbad thee to weepe for him yet he left thee free to weepe for thy selfe and sith thy loue hath made thee one with him thou weepest but for thy selfe when thou weepest for him But I answer thee againe that because he is one with thee and thy weeping for him hath bene forbidden thee thou canst not weepe for thy selfe but his words wil condemne thee For if thou he are one for which soeuer thou weepest it is all one therefore sith for him thou maist not weepe forbeare all weeping left it should offend Yea but saist thou to barre me from weeping is to abridge me of liberty and restraint of
affability and conuenient complements as common ciuility and vsuall curtesie requireth Mine apparell must be free from lightnesse or more gaudinesse then fitteth mine age company or calling it must be decent and comely not too open nor with any vnusuall or new fashioned dresses that other graue persons of my qualitie and calling that are well thought of do not vse it must be handsome and cleane and as much as may be without singularity that therein the stayednesse and seemely estate of my soule may be perceiued Alwayes when I am to go to any company either of my dwelling place or strangers I ought to forecast their disposition and what talke or action is likely to be tendred vnto me by their presence If I feare any detracting speeches let me arme my selfe not to seeme to approue them yea rather to dislike them and indeuour to turne their talke into some other matter and so in all vnlawfull kind of speech whatsoeuer Finally let this for conuersation be my chiefe rule alwayes to foresee and prouide my selfe against the occasions that by euery companie are likely to be offered me in the beginning to direct mine intention to talke either for dispatch of necessary busines if there be any or for maintaining mutual loue and charitie if it be merrie or ordinary talke This foresight of occasions and faults likely to be committed is the principall remedy against all sinne and therefore especially to be noted and vsed To conclude the vertues necessarie in conuersation are modestie decencie curtesie affabilitie meeknesse and ciuilitie shew of compassion to others miseries and of ioy at their welfare and of readinesse to pleasure all and vnwillingnesse to displease any the want of any of these where occasion requireth maketh it more faultie The vices chiefly to be auoyded are pride disdainefulnesse rudenesse frowardnesse lightnesse too much familiaritie churlishnesse and offensiue speeches Of my duty towards my selfe THe last point is to consider my duty towards my selfe and the care I ought to haue of mine owne particular first I must procure that which before is mentioned in all my actions to haue a badge of Christianity that is a pure and sincere affection and intention not seeking in any thing mine owne delights pleasure and contentment more then may stand with the honour and glory of God remembring that I am to serue him and not my selfe more then is necessary to inable me for his better seruice I being his more then mine owne Secondly I must procure to foresee in euery action at least in all the principall to fore-arme my selfe against those occasions of sinne that shall be offered in them and where it lyeth not in my power to auoide the occasion of any great sinne the more danger there is and the greater the sinne is that I am in danger of so much the more preparation must I vse to resist it the more earnestly aske for Gods grace Thirdly I must haue care of my senses as the meanes and entrance of temptations to which it is a principall helpe not to be easily drawne with euery noise or fancy to moue my head or eyes without there be good cause nor to be sodaine in motion and going hither and thither without deliberation I must also remember well that the eye is neuer satisfied with seeing nor the eare with hearing nouelties and therefore must I needs bridle the vnmeasurable appetite of both these senses by breaking off mine owne desires in that behalfe Fourthly because confusion and an vnsetled kind of life is the cause of many sinnes and an enemie to all vertue I must set down with my selfe some certaine order in spending my time allotting in euery howâ—e of the day some certaine thing to be done in the same and to haue times in the morning euening and after-noone deuoted vnto some good and godly exercise which I must though not by vow bind my selfe vnto when things of worldly affaires call me from them also to keepe due times of rising meales and going to bed and all other necessary times the obseruation whereof is the most necessarie for a regular and vertuous kind of life Fiftly it is a most necessarie rule of good life not onely to keepe order in my spirituall and temporall actions but also to perseuere and continue in one order hauing once set it downe with found aduice for the nature of man being apt to change we are giuen still to nouelties seeking new waies to perfection and confirming or habituating our selues in none Wherefore except necessitie charitie or greater spirituall good do require I must not flit from one exercise to another but first plant a good platforme with mature aduice and then resolue and fully determine to continue in the same Sixtly I must not â—â—mber my mind with many spirituall or externall exercises at once nor labour my selfe too much at the first for my force being distracted to many offices is the lesse able to performe any of them and is easily ouerlaboured without profit wherefore I must not thinke to get all vertues at once or cut off all imperfections together but hauing a generall resolution to get vertue and leaue all vice beginne with some one endeuouring to breake my selfe of some one fault whereto I am most inclined and procuring to get the contrarie vertue for the care of auoyding one offence will make me take heed of all the rest Seuenthly mans nature being so corrupt that without continuall violence and force it cannot attaine to vertue or leaue vice whereunto it is much inclined I must assure my selfe that care and watchfulnesse is euer necessary and because I am apt to fall I must often renew my good purposes knowing that I neuer can go on in vertue without falling and therefore I must euery morning thinke with my selfe that hitherto I haue done nothing and that by Gods grace that day I will beginne afresh as though it were the first day that euer I began to do any good thing Eightly I must not make small account of little sinnes nor be carelesse in committing them but alwayes carrie the mind that I would not offend God willingly euen in the least sinne for any thing and I must neuer thinke any thing little wherewith so high a Maiestie is offended for he that careth not to commit little sinnes giueth the diuell a great aduantage to draw him into greater Rules in sicknesse IF my sicknesse be great I shall not neede to force my selfe beyond my strength vnto any vocall prayers more then in the morning dutifully to commend my selfe vnto God with the Lords prayer and the confession of Christian faith or if I cannot well say so much now and then I must call vpon God with short prayers as Lord Iesus saue me Lord strengthen me Lord graunt me patience and such like In sicknesse when I can beare it it will be good sometimes to haue part of some good booke read vnto me but not ouermuch for feare of hurting my
in truth there is none Also true spirituall comfort bringeth a delight and desire to thinke of the benefits of God the ioyes of heauen the comfort of meditation and talking with God Finally it confirmeth our faith quickeneth our hope and increaseth charitie fuâ—nishing the minde with a sweete tast of ioy quiet and free from all combers Sometimes the diuell transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light and at the first when he knoweth our good desires and purposes he seemeth to sooth vs in them and to set vs forward towards the performance thereof but in the end he seemeth to draw vs to his byas and by corrupting our intention or by peruerting the manner time or other circumstance of the due execution maketh the whole action worthlesse and faultie though otherwise vertuous in it selfe There must be great heede taken in the beginning middle and end of our thoughts for when either at the first or at the last it tendeth to apparent sinne or withdraweth from the greater good or tendeth to courses of lesse pietie or more danger then we are in or if it disquiet the minde bereauing it of the wonted calme and loue of vertue it is a signe that the Diuell was beginner of it whose propertie is to hinder good and withdraw vs to euill When in any suggestion I find the serpent by his sting that is Satan by the wicked end he moueth me vnto it is good to vntwist and reuerse his motion and to looke backward euen vnto the beginning and to marke what plausible colour he first pretended that the next time I may the better spie his cunning and subtill dealings and drifts How to behaue our selues in time of temptation IN the time of my desolation and disquiet of mind I must not enter into any deliberation or go about to alter any thing concerning the state of my soule or purposed course of life but perâ—euer in my former resolutions made in time of my good and quiet estate wherein I was free from passion and better able to iudge of things conuenient for my good yet may I and ought to resolue vpon such helps as are fit to resist and repell my discontented thoughts so they be not preiudiciall to my former purposes as prayer repentance and confession of my sinnes with such like remedies In temptations and troubles of mind I must remember that afore time I haue had the like and they haue in the end passed leauing me very glad and ioyfull when I haue resisted them and sorrowfull when I yeelded too much vnto them and therefore I must thinke that these also must passe after a while and I shall feele the like ioy in hauing resisted and ouercome them and in the meane time I must with patience endure the comber and trouble of them assuring my selfe that God therewith is highly pleased and the enemie most effectually subdued Neither the multitude continuance nor badnesse of any thought must breed any scruple or disquiet in me for not to haue them is not in my power but onely not to consent vnto them and so long as with deliberation I haue not consented nor willingly or with delight stayed in them I haue not sinned any more then if I had onely had them in a dreame If before I had euill thoughts I had a resolute mind neuer to yeeld to any mortall sin and afterward when I remember my selfe and marke that I was in a bad thought I still finde the same resolution it is a signe that in the time of my distraction and bad imagination I did not willingly consent or offend in them neither is it like but my mind being so well affected I should haue easily remembred dirâ—ctly and without doubt if I had yeelded farther then I ought Desolations are permitted of God for three causes First for a punishment of our sinnes remisnesse and coldnesse in Gods seruice Secondly to trie whether we be true seruants of God or onely hirelings that are willing to labour no longer then they receiue the hire and stipend of present comfort Thirdly to ascertaine vs that it passeth the reach and compasse of our ability either to attaine or to maintaine in vs the feruour of deuotion the intensiue loue of God the abundance of godly teares and other spirituall graces and comforts which we must acknowledge to proceed from Gods meere liberality not of our owne force or desert It is good while I feele the sweetnesse of Gods visitation and presence to fortifie my selfe against the desolations that will ensue and remembring those that are past to thinke that all troubles will as well passe as comforts and that our whole life is but a continuall succession and mixture of sorrow and ioy the one alwayes ouertaking the other and neither of them continuing long together and therfore I must settle my minde in a kind of indefferencie vnto them both as it shall please God to send them First to know it is a thing comming from my mortall enemie and tendeth to my eternall destruction To looke for temptations before hand and not to thinke them nouelties but necessary sequels of our hostilitie with the diuell with whom we must neuer be friends To resist them stoutly at the first and to crush the serpent in the head for nothing maketh the diuell to become so furious and violent or to redouble his suggestions as to perceiue the soule dismayed with his temptations or not expecting by the confidence in Gods helpe and mercy an assured victorie To beare patiently the multitude and continuance of them assuring my selfe that they will haue an end ere long To thinke on the ioy I shall haue for not consenting vnto them and the crowne of glory that I shall enioy To remember how often I haue bene as grieuously annoyed with the like and yet by Gods helpe haue giuen the diuell the foile Not to striue with vncleane temptations but to turne my mind to thinke of other matters and to change place or worke or to finde some way to put me out of those fantasies To resist vices by practising and doing acts of the contrary vertues To arme my selfe before hand by getting those vertues that are opposit to such vices as I am most inclined vnto for in those doth the diuell alwayes seeke his aduantage to ouerthrow me In my extreamest troubles to humble my selfe in the sight of Almightie God acknowledging mine owne weakenesse and wholly relying vpon his helpe most earnestly in word and heart call for his assistance firmely trusting in his mercy yea and offering my selfe so as he forsake me not to suffer these and all other whatsoeuer it shall please God to permit euen so long as he shall thinke good to inflict them for of all other things this most ouercometh the Diuell when he seeth we turne his euill motions and troubles to so glorious and great a victorie A prayer in temptation O Mercifull Iesu the onely refuge of desolate and afflicted soules O Iesu that hast made