else brought up into a higher obedience to the Law or he remaines sensibly miserable of the greater misery in it then before which though it be more sadder to the apprehension yet it is the way of God in the Creature thus to frustate the expectation of the Creature in its labouring to work happinesse for it self until happinesse be revealed within it The Third cause is from the principle of Nature and here the Covenant of works is most sutable to the principles of Nature Nature would alwaies be doing though in its doing it instead of acting to God is acting from God For it is impossible that man can truly act to God before there be an acting of God in him So that man cannot ascend up to God before there be descending of God into the soul which Descendings I call a reall manifestation of life within man which is God being a Fountaine breaking forth againe from man unto God And before that though soules act never so gloriously yet they are but Adams running away from God and from the principles of Nature clothing themselves Gen. 3. 8. Which in time though man Rest upon it proves selfe righteousnesse or a righteousnesse according to the Law and not the righteousnesse of God by faith and so his Rest and peace shall be taken from him and destroyed in him 4. The cause from which his thus acting flowes is from self-love and this will go beyond any thing formerly mentioned Self-love in the gaining of its own ends will thinke nothing too difficult to attempt nothing too deare to part withall unlesse the things we are now speaking of which is mans selfe When a man is swallowed up with selfe instead of being swallowed up with God whatsoever the creature is put upon when swallowed up with God this creature thus led forth out of self-love will resemble the same if not goe beyond it nothing that stands in the way of the Creature thus possessed is too deare to it or too hard to attempt it Put Jehu upon pulling down Idols it made him very zealous it made the Scribes and Pharisees give almes and spend themselves and suffer theirs to be spent to attain their ends It will put a man upon fasting much praying often yea if it be to hazard life or liberty it is free if it may but accomplish its owne ends which is most commonly from a convicted happinesse or glory either inward from God or outward from man Self sees a promise of life and happinesse handed out in the Law to those that keep it as namely Doe this and live it never considers what it could doe and now can doe but now it labours to try what may be done that an undone soule may be made happy Oh the consideration of happinesse doth so affect a soule tonvinced of the want of it that as the love of God enjoyed doth draw out that soule that enjoyes it too make for God so this soule possessed with the love of selfe doth draw out the Creature not out of himselfe yet to do or act any thing that may procure happinesse to it selfe Also self-love in this particular would not freely have all from God nor would it be beholding to God for all then it should have nothing to glory in but God Witnesse those cryings out Must the Creature do nothing must he not take paines with his own heart to prepare it for God Must not the creature seek and knock and pray and be prepared for Christ Not considering it must be a meer passive Goe through the sufferings of Christ or rather to have fellowship with him in his sufferings that is to be subject to the will of God and to suffer God to dispose order or burne up in the Creatures spirits as he pleaseth onely the soul to be a patient in the workings out of life untill he can act from the enjoyments of it The Lords way is to destroy or burne up all the creatures preparations for God and all that stuffe the creature hath within him or attained by him and strips the Creature naked of all either in him or done by him and brings him as an empty soul to him who is the Fountain of life and to be revealed in him Now to take away an objection which is that the Creature must labour though not for life yet for a manifestation of life To this I answer that the life whereby man acts to God is by the power of life revealed from God for before it be revealed man is dead it is the revealing of life into man which gives life to man So that man can neither truly act for life or the manifestation of it before man be made alive by it which is not before the manifestation of Christ which is life to the soul Secondly That as mercy and love was prepared freely of God in Christ without the Creature so it is to be revealed freely by Christ in the Creature and after it be revealed in man It is that grace which is in man acts out from man unto God That occasioned these words from Paul Yet not I but the grace of God which was with mee 1 Cor. 15. 10. Then let these following particulars be considered of 1. That man who doth obey God though his obedience be never so seemingly glorious yet if he Rest upon and be satisfied with it he Rests below the true Rest which is God For though the Creature yields obedience to the Law or any other Truth as the Truth requires yet he is not to Rest upon it though it be of and from the Lord it being flown from that which is to be the souls Rest 2. That soul who being convinced of the want of and its misery without God and from this labours to get God by acting to God though his action be never so glorious it being to get his person acceptable from the glory of his action and Rests here conceiving the acceptation of his person from the glory of his action that mans Rest and Conceptation is false This was the reason why Abels Sacrifice was acceptable and Cains was not because Abels person was acceptable and Cains was not for Cains action was as seemingly glorious as Abels was But the acceptation of an action must flow from the acceptation of a person It is not nor cannot be that any mans person can be accepted with God from the glory of any of the Creatures actings to God Then it should be of works and man hath some thing to boast of Neither is my obedience to God a true evidence of my enjoyment of God and acceptance with God For the young man in the Gospel who was nigh to the Kingdome of God did yeeld obedience to the commands of God and yet he wanted that one thing necessary which was to be the Rest of his foul 3. That the Resting upon any obedience to God performed in the exactest manner by the Creature will bring nothing but death and sorrow to the
out of conceit he did God good service Rested satisfied We know the Scribes and Pharisees who were the most zealous for Sabbaths and prayer and other points of Worship yet they make it their Rest but come to our daies and see if we swarme not of the same only seeming professors of God who are very zealous for the same things and from their very zeal are made to Rest with high thoughts of their condition But how far this zeal which is most commonly led with more affection then Judgement will bring man into a form of Truth First It will leade man into a whole conformity to what it doth conceive to be truth that it shall according to what it hath serve God in all good conscience Acts. 23. 1. and according to the Law to be unblamable and untaxable Then his conversation shall bee very strict in the observation of what the Law requires and he shall act the same with much vehemency of spirit taking all oppertunities for the doing of the same Secondly It will carry the soule on to suffer cheerfully what he may meet withall in this very particular Thirdly he may by zeal afflict his body sore 1. Cor. 13. 3. with fasting and mourning under pretence the one to honour and obey God the other for dishonou◠brought to God So as he may be almost spent in body and spirit and estate in prosecuting the things o◠God according to his light Farther hee may out o◠Zeal come to Gospel precepts and may be Zealous for that light in externall formes which is there required to be obeyed so as he may gather Churches and may suffer much in the conforming to and practising with so much vehemency the Ordinances cōmonly practised by the Churches in the Apostles and our daies so as his Zeal may lead him out to teaching and helping forward that work studying night and day to finde out matter to furnish himself for edification so as for paines in the Churches and for Zeal to observe the severity of those formes and any thing required to bee practised in the said Churches so as now it will have communion in Ordinances with none but those of his own stamp judgement being mightily carried forth to judge and pitty those who are opposers of that light Now this soul through Zeal may goe thus farre yea to act the very highest things the Scriptures doe require in matters of visible practise and yet be not at all taught in the Spirit neither got into the life and power of what he doth professe but meerly zealous for shadowes and wants the power so as he is commanded by the form and not the forme by the power dwelling within him Now grant farther That such a soul did act in truth according to this dispensation yet notwithstanding in this particular there were no cause of Rest for nothing visibly seen flowing from the Creature ought to be its Rest but some visible flowings into the Creature which is being and substance from which and unto which a Soule through Zeal for God acts Also a Creature thus Zealous Rests not at home but reformes abroad also beginning with his own family and so goes abroad to others and labours for reformation and practises the same with much Zeal so as he can not endure the visible appearance of any sinne in himself or others He may help with much Zeal the purging of Cities and Nations or drunkennesse or swearing or any open prophanesse he may be for punishing of evil doers in this particular with much severity and seeming to be much troubled at the neglect of it he may rejoyce much in this practise and may help forward this work in a Nation very much and yet this no Rest at all also he may be zealous yea mad of Zeale for the worship of his God in reference unto others not only taking all opportunities to inform them in the same but using all Coercive powers for confiring them thereunto so as he may be an instrument to bring families and most part of Cities into this outward conformity to the matters of worship and here hee lookes upon an action done of great moment and weight and partly makes this an evidence of this true enjoyment of God by Reason of his Zeale for God and the effect thereby produced which is the good of many Now the cause of a Souls thus Resting partly flowes from want of the information in judgement of the great deceite of the heart in putting man by zeal upon such publique actions and then to cause it to Rest and further it conceiving it's Zeale for God and from a principle of God not being acquainted with a Pharisaicall Zeale to be seen of men or to get a name amongst men or that Zeal which men have but not according to knowledge or the Zeale Paul had before conversion which excels both for vehemency and downrightnesse is the Zeal of many a professor who are at Rest in our daies Now a poor Creature because he is made to suffer freely and to hazard life and liberty in the prosecution of this Zeal he is much puffed up under these considerations 1. That now this is a suffering with and for Christ and therefore he shall reign with him and enjoy much from him 2 That this is a parting with all for Christ and a great point of self denial and so an evidence of a disciple of Christ when indeed the Soule is in himself and hath not at all attained that estate to forsake himselfe Therefore let every heart though never so Zealous for God take notice that his heart may deceive him in his Zeal and his affection may blinde his judgement and so it proves blinde zeal Or Secondly Consider that though it be such Zeale as is good and to be approved of in its dispensation yet not at all to be Rested upon nor to be an evidence of any true enjoyment of God though he pretend God in the fore-front as Jehu did The fifth false Rest. THe next Rest of a Soule though I might not have spoken of it because I have partly given it forth yet that things may be the more opened its the Creatures Righteousnesse or sanctification and outward holinesse wherein both in carriage and words he doth most sweetly in probability savour of high enjoyments of God This is to be a testimony of the same to others though not to himself yet notwithstanding his Rest is to him a high evidence of the true and reall possessings of God when alas it is continually a vanishing Rest and evidence and when the Creature stands in need of it it is taking its wings and flying away and proves a miserable comforter in the saddest straits of a Soul But first let us consider that true holinesse of a person made manifest in actions flowes from the justification of a Soule made manifest in the Spirit so that the truest holinesse or outward sanctification doth wholly flow as an effect of Justification made manifest
to be theirs was twofold First by the manifestation of it Secondly by opening the eies of a souls understanding wherby they come to see that life which now to them is made manifest further he is the life of Saints spiritually considered Coloss 3. 3 4. here he saith when Christ our life shall appear then shall we also appear with him in glory So that he is here Saints life called and more fuller experienced in every heart who hath found him fully made manifest within their spirits again he is the life of Saints as he becomes the spirituall resurrection of Saints for before ever God bring any Creature into the enjoyment of himself he brings the creature into a spiritual death not in the body but in the spirit and being laid in the grave alone Christ as he is the spirituall life of Saints must be their resurrection I mean the resurrection of their spirits from this spirituall death as he is a dispensation of life and therefore it is written Joh 11. 25. I am the resurrection and the life he that beleeveth in me though he were dead yet he shal live So that Christ as he is to become the spirituall life of Saints proves an inward resurrection to them in the manifestation of this their life which indeed Paul did experience when he spake these words Gal. 2. 20. I am crucified with Christ neverthelesse I live yet not I but Christ liveth in me So that though Paul had been buried into Christs death yet notwithstanding when Christ came to be manifested to him then he proved a resurrection of life in him and by this life was Paul made to live for untill Christ our life comes to be manifest we lye dead voyd of any spirituall life or motion in us and this was figured out in the matter of Lazarus death when Christ came he found him dead and buried voyd of life or motion wherein at last the very breath of Christ breathed out in way of voice Lazarus come forth raised him up and gave life unto him Joh. 11. 43 44. Two things are here spiritually holden forth First a spirituall death of Creatures when Christ comes to breath upon them the breath of life Secondly by his thus coming speaking and breathing occasions life because his words are spirit and life thus spoken so that it is said The hour is coming and now is when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God and they that hear shall live Now in all this is held forth unto us The spirituall resurrection of all Saints by Jesus Christ coming in the spiriâ—â—â—to them so that though this particular be the least looked after yet it is of the highest concernment and not that which most men doat of so much after death So that if we look upon our spirituall resurrection we shal see that the coming of Christ in the Spirit is a manifestation of Spirituall life which proves a spiritual life which proves a spitituall resurrection in such creatures and in time their rest and center Now â—e being the life of Saints Then first we may observe Thaâ— Saints life is Jesus Christ Though before they are making out of their own actings according to the law of woâ—ks do this and live yet now they see that that life is destroyed and the cause of all actions to God flowes from this life principled in them and though they are making a life out of enlargement or holinesse in conversation yet this is a life above it unbottoming the creature off from it and centring the creature in a stable and solid life Secondly the Saints live because Christ lives in them for though before their lives were hid with God yet they were not to live in reference to themselves with joy and peace untill it were made manifest from God in them so that they are made to live from the manifestation of life in them whereby they come to know it and â—o to be made to live by it for ever Cast a Saint into any condition he lives very sweetly because he lives by the life of Christ in him yea he lives sweetly with contentednesse because Christ lives in him so now to summe up this Christ as he is a spirituall dispensation of God in the spirit is a spirituall life by vertue of which life in saints are saints swallowed up with it and so centered up in it so that the center or rest of a saint is eternall and everlasting which is Christ the spirituall life of God in us by which life the Creature doth not only live to but live to do This life is the motion of his spirit so as by this life he doth not onely live but lives to it so that the creatures spirits are wholly set apart to live to God This life is â—he living in the spirit and not in the flesh hereby comes the life of Saints to be a life of love and a life of God because they are not at rest from all their own labours and now all things are acted in them by that Spirit of life which is Christ dwelling in them now Saints wholly live to God by the life of God in them and thus are Saints centred up in God or Christ because their spirits are carried up above the creature into life which is Christ in them becoming spirituall and eternal life to them Fifthly This spirituall Christ as he comes from God and is manifested by God and so known by us and become Rest to us he is spirituall redemption and deliverance Now to look upon Christ in the spirit he cannot be manifested but he becomes a spirituall Jesus that is a Saviour of spirits for he was not a Jesus as he was in the flesh but he was a Jesus as he was to come in the Spirit for the flesh could not do it Yet it was a figure of that spirituall salvation and liberty which Christ is in the hearts of Saints For indeed Jesus Christ is salvation it self and where he is in power and glory there is salvation that is he is a Saviour or a deliverer of the creature out of that spiritual slavery bondage in which he lives So as he is become freedome and redemption to the heart and therefore he is said to be made unto us Wisdome and righteousnes and sanctification and redemption that is he is manifest in us and so is become spirituall redemption to us freeing us spiritually from our inward bondage and slavery both that bondage of self and Satan whereby we are made to live in spirituall freedome and all this freedome and deliverance is Christ in the spirit as he is a spirituall dispensation designed of God for the same purpose though many souls do work out their own salvation by their doing whose salvation is false others naving salvation from some false christ which workes and acts like this Christ yet the Son hath set neither free neither doe they know that alone redemption salvation and liberty which
whether it be of God or man if of God it shall be dispelled by a higher if of man or Satan it shall be destroyed So that to Rest upon this estate though attained from God though it should prove a dispensation of God it would be a Rest much below the Center of the soul which is God The Second false Rest THe second Rest most commonly of Souls after a common restraining the Creature from grosse evils is a work seeming to the Creature something higher and that is in obedience unto what the Law of God requires The first is A negative Obedience from something The second is an affirmative Obedience to something and this seems to the Creature to go beyond the other and so become a surer foundation of Rest when indeed it is all one with the other and still short of the true Rest And here comes it to passe that in this dispensation man hath no longer peace then he acts sutable to the Law break the Law and it breaks the neck of the Souls peace Keep it it keeps the Soul in peace And secondly in this condition it comes to passe that the Creature is wholly cast down and begins to question all he hath yea the very foundation of all when in the least manner he doth transgresse But still the soul is in a very low and empty dispensation but mans obedience to the Law wherein he intends by his obedience to it to get happinesse and life from it flowes from these particulars following 1. From a convincement of his misery our of God in which he sees a want of God upon which he runnes unto the Law being convinced by it to see what is required of it He now resolves makes Covenants Vowes renewes them often and purposeth to do what he Law requires To this end he fals aboard of praying reading keeping Sabbaths and spends nights and daie in labouring to attaine to what the Law requires And. 1. The Law requiring as the principall part of it Love Now this is the daily complant of such a soule in this dispensation Oh that I could love God then I could believe God loved me then it being the principal part of the Law I could believe it were fullfilled either in me or for mee then should I enjoy peace and Rest in my spirit not knowing that our love to God nowes from the manifestations of Gods love in us not considering that the law is fullfilled by another not knowing that peace and rest flowes from the enjoyments of God and not from sutable Quallifications to the Law of God but now when the soul hath as he conceives got so much love to God as partly the Law of God requires it Rests concluding this That love to God is an infallible Token of Love from God Yet not knowing that the way to judge aright of my love to God is from the enjoyments of Love from God And here lies the great deceit of many spirits Again The Law requires Sabbath keeping and many such like comands are required The soul cries Oh that I could keepe the Sabbath Oh that my heart could keep close with God upon that day and here the soul labours to bring his heart into that frame not to think his own thoughts or speak his owne words whereupon he sets a praying in the morning and exercises himselfe in all duties agreable to the day now if he keep the day so exact as he thinkes the Law requires he Rests with much peace but if he be dead and cold and unprofitable in these Dispensations he imployes himselfe in then he can have no peace all the week but is mourning and grieving he hath broke the Law and here is partly the frame of such a spirit And the second cause of his thus acting is from an apprehension of wrath and a condemning conscience and hell within it would doe any thing to assawgâ— the wrath and fire of hell in his owne conscience Whaâ— would not a soule doe or attempt to remove the same being at present too heavy for the soul to bear now it would do any thing to stoppe the mouth of a condemning conscience though it will pretend what it doth is for no such matter but the flatterings of the heart and the glosse it puts upon the actions of the Creature in this Dispention Now the soul not discerning satisfaction given to God by another it labours therefore to satisfie God for the breach it hath made betwixt it and God though I say the heart here will glosse its actions and say to the contray But now it seeing a breach this breach must be made up before there can be peace Now the soule not seeing the breach made up by Christ he labours to make up the breach by his actuall obedience to the Law of God And therefore is it that men teach this Principle The way to attain grace and favour with God is by such a humiliation or sorrow as they call God And here they prove Aegyptian Task-masters to set the Creature upon doing when he hath no straw to work withall Exod. 5. 13. 14. And this is usuall with Creatures in this Dispensation when they see themselves in bondage to get freedome by doing And so comes it to passe many breake prison before they be set free by the Spirit As for instance when the soule can finde such a Qualification in him or such a frame of Spirit in him as the Law requires having a long time laboured for it he judgeth himself to be set free by Christ when it is but a conceited freedome as an effect of his obedience and not as an effect of the obedience of Christ revealed to him in the Spirit And in this particular the Creature is like a horse that is fallen into a bogmire he labours to plunge himselfe out lest he perish there and indeed plunges himselfe faster in and brings himselfe into a nigher way of perishing Thus the Creature seeing himselfe falne into misery and bondage he labours and plunges to free himselfe untill he plunges himself into higher bondage and as the horse will not give over and lye still until he hath wearied himselfe no more will the soul cease acting to free himself untill he be wearied and worne out of breath And then he shall be forced to wait until He who delivers Saints out of the pit where no water is come and deliver his Spirit out of its slavery and bondage And also in an estate of darknesse the like the Creature labours for light and being incompassed about with pits on every side and being in darknesse he will not stay until the Light come or the day dawn but at last for want of a Guide which is the Spirit he fals into the pit where he lies more sadder then ever John 16. 15. These are the common though sad effects of those who run before God leades them and either the Creature Rests after he hath attained qualifications sutable to the Law or
As for instance The fountain and the streames The streames are an effect of the Fountain flowing from the abundance contained in the same so it is with God made manifest in the heart he being the Ocean or Fountain comprehending all streames within himself doth issue out of himselfe those streames of Sanctification or holinesse in conversation from himself thus abiding in the Creature So that a man may have the latter in as high manner though not in truth as he that hath God truly manifest and no way to be discerned but by the light of truth dwelling within which makes the truth or falshood of such things in this nature manifest and before the same enjoyed the Creature is in darknesse and it is as possible for a man to see twenty miles in a very darke night as for a man really to judge of the truth or falshood of his own condition before this light come in from God which expels those clouds as the shining of the Sun doth the clouds and here lies the darknesse of a heart when it is made to see the want of God it looks into the frame and disposition of mens spirits abroad who are under a name of profession and being much affected with them and drawn out in love to them it gets into such relations or society and it sees abundance of holinesse flow from their conversations now it being away to reprove that party not having the same conversation in holinesse of walking or power against corruption it cries out O that I were so holy in conversation as such a one is O that I had such and such a power against corruption as they have And could be alwaies discovering of good things as they are or could have my minde fixed upon heavenly things as they have O how heavenly doth such a one walke and this is his construction or application O if I could be but so I should then be at peace and Rest then I should think my condition happy but alas here is such abundance of carnall mindednesse and of corruption in my conversation and a wearinesse in things that are good here the creature takes up a daily complaint and to every Saint is making his condition known and cannot rest quiet untill he have resembled or attained such a measure of knowledge to discourse of God and so much power against corruption as to walke in conversation like those whose conversation did convict him and shame him Now having attained so much in shew and that now his affections seem to be bent upon good things that now God is his meditation and his continuall ponder that now when it s thus the creature hath much peace sometimes upon the view of the same and when it cannot walke thus it hath neither Peace not rest Now here the creatures heart deceives him and makes him rest upon that which may be in truth and not in truth or upon that which is given to change and abides not one and the same for ever Now all this a man may have and yet have nothing manifest in truth and though it might be said thar these are true in there place yet not appointed for rests but for effects of that which was in truth within for he that saith he dwels in him ought even so to walk as he hath walked Now holinesse in the highest degree as it flowes out from man is but an especial effect of the dwelling of the spirit of God or an effect of his rest in him not to be a rest but to manifest to others that he dwels and rests in God For to me that Soule who rests and dwels in God must have his conversation but especially his inward walking like God for to others that look upon a Saint thus pretending to dwell must judge of the same by that fruit that flowes from him in one kinde or another though it is not to be a testimony to himself who thus liveth he having another testimony which speaks or evidences peace 1 John 5. 10. upon more sure grounds yea and lets the creature see a ground or place of rest going as farre beyond this as the streames are short of the Fountaine and the body of the Sun beyond the least glimpse or shining thereof Man I may say who is resting in peace and quietnesse of spirit from these visible branches if they be true is one who still hangeth upon the outside of the Arke and like the Pharisees resting with glorious outsides and washing of the outsides of Cups more to be seen of men or justified before men then to be as an effect of that truth within made forth for the glory of God The one of these ends did Cain act for and the other end did the Scribes and Pharisees act for so that a house built upon such a foundation as this seems to be as glorious as that which was builded upon the Rock but it was not so safe for with every blast and storm that coÌ„es against such a spirit it fals into its former state it was in before thus builded so were the devout Women and golden Sepulchers and whited walls builded upon such considerations as these they were outwardly holy and seemingly pure but were within full of deadly poyson and were put for outward glory not adorned with the Spirit so it is very likely that the said spirit that Rests upon this seeming though thought by himself true holinesse is a soul altogether full of deadly poyson and deceite which in time may be discovered and then the Creature shall see another rest more sure and safe then this and shall lose by it yet Love shall save him though it be a fire for to burn up what of this rest was of himself so that I say such a soules foundation of rest shall fade as Solomon in all his glory First Then this Spirit thus resting is away to keep it below true assurance for in this rest there can flow no true cause or ground to the Creatuâ—e to be assured thereby Secondly For a man to rest here it will be but to make a house which ere long it may be God will batter about his ears and so prove labour in vaine as many can speak by sad experience Thirdly Whatsoever flowes from a man pretended to God before there be an inward revelation in that man of God and makes the same a true evidence of his enjoying this God thus revealed and so rests his thus doing is but his own righteousnesse and not the righteousnesse of Jesus Christ revealed by faith Fourthly That the party thus acting doth go no farther then a point of bodily exercise for what a man doth in point of holynesse pretending for God and after doth own it as a true evidence or any cause of rest as God To me it appears and in the judgement of Scriptures that mans action is but bodily exercise for nothing is or ought to be either rest or evidence of the true enjoyment of God in me
which is any way done by or acted from me but something in the which I am a passive and no active in which must be something of God coming in from God which doth give a testimony of truth to me and reveales the true rest in me And if I rest otherwise my rest is not that which I take it to be So that it 's alone the power or glory of something coming to me and not the actings of that to God from me which is all the hearts rest of a Saint But there lies so much deceit in the heart Jer. 17. 9 10. that the truth most be known by undeniable testimony in man before the makings of it forth can in truth be discerned but as I said before man lies in darknesse until there be something in the soule which is a cleare light giving the creature to know truth from truths Testimony for any action of deceit from the heart to God as so pretended will not be without reason and ground yea and Evidence proved to be true by the heart but still this Light which is God within is that which discovers man to himself yea the winding deceits in the heart though never so cunningly acted by the heart The Sixt false Rest THe next Rest is deep Humiliations and strange castings down of Spirit wherein the creature is made to goe through sad torments of spirit and hath gone through a hell in his own conscience he having passed through many sad dangers and having bin ready to destroy himself or lay violent hands upoÌ„ himself and daily mourning under the apprehension of these particulars following First Under the apprehension of an angry and revenging God looking upon him as one ready to destroy him and altogether unsatisfied concerning him but expects the speedy execution of vengeance and wrath to be powred down upon him without measure here the soul lies tortured continually ready to despaire of any hopes of recovery yet trying if he can get such a measure of humiliation as will answer the greatnesse of the evils committed against God which did procure it Secondly He lies mourning under the apprehension of a condemning Conscience Looking upon himselfe thus That if his heart condemne him how much more will God who knoweth all things Thirdly under the view of those grosse evils committed against God wherein sin flowes in apace in the view of it and they are laid in order before the soulâ— eyes Psalm 50. 21. which are so loathsome to him under this consideration that they have brought him into a condition of misery damnation wrath and slavery for ever unlesse he can get so much deep afflictings of spirit he looks upon himself as altogether uncapable of enjoying mercy Whereupon he fals a mouâ—ning and greeving fearing continually destruction until it be got into such an estate of breakings of spirit as it thinks answers the greatnes of its evils and wheÌ„ it hath done thus it makes a rest upon it and counts it an evidence of its acceptance with God not knowing that its heart may deceive it and though it pretends thus to do yet it may be out of fear and for false ends to get salvation and not from love or salvation revealed to it but only it is broken because it hath brought misery upon it selfe Secondly If it be of God then it is made to see the vanity of its rest here and to wait for the enjoyment of him alone who can apply a remedy to its wounded spirit but if false it looks upon such deepe humiliation to be a cure to it or an assured Testimony of the love of God towards it here it 's put upon fasting and starving the body taking revenge upon it self Who bath been a cause of bringing it into this extreame misery untill it hath almost destroyed it's body with pining and afflicting of it When indeed this is not Sacrifice which God much delights in if man rest in it For to afflict a mans soul and to houl upon his Bed and to fast yet may all this be Hypocritical and forced from the creature under the notion of destruction without it or a way to attaine grace and favour by it Now true Soul breakings flowes from Love meltings The Love Majesty and Glory of God being discovered to man do truly break man so that he doth not Rest upon his brokennesse but upon him who by love brake it The proud Pharisees did exceed in this and many others who made it their Rest and blessed themselves in so doing and said they fasted so often and wept so much and were so and so afflicted when indeed they lived upon it and gloryed and Rested in the same I know though it might be confessed this is the way of God yet it is not to be a Rest to any man For man is not able to judge of any Truth until the Light break in upon him which makes all things manifest and then shall man judge righteous judgement The heart will perswade man he acts from love when he doth not so and he humbles not himself to be seen of man or to get salvation or the removall of a condemning conscience or to stop the mouth of conscience or to get a frame of spirit that God might manifest mercy when indeed the heart is altogether it may be deceived of it and yet not able to judge of the same by reason of that night of darknesse that lyes upon it wherein it is kept in the clouds Now the cause of the creatures Rest in this particular lyes here First In those many deliverances wrought out of him in this condition as if the Children of Israel should have been satisfied and Rested after God had brought them out of the Land of Egypt or that after they were brought through the Red Sea they should have made that their Rest evidencing thereby that God would bring them into the Land of Canaan when though God had delivered them yet afterwards he did destroy them So with many which God hath wrought strangely with in this particular in delivering them from strong temptations and making them to see much of power yet afterwards they do not wait for th◠〈◊〉 ment of the promise but murmer against God and fall at last upon making a God to themselves of the glory of their wisdome and strength and naturall parts and light and they fall down and worship the same as though this was that God who did deliver them and so Rest satisfied believing they were worshipping and enjoying the true God Secondly The creature reasons thus Surely it is God who doth discover sin unto me for if Satan should discover it it were the way to destroy his owne kingdome therefore my sight of sin and my sorrow and mourning for it and those deepe afflictions which I have had for sin must needs be of God and surely it is both love from God and love to God and doth thus break my heart I may be so and not so but though