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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A18965	A godlie forme of householde gouernment for the ordering of priuate families, according to the direction of Gods word. Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner, the seuerall duties of the husband towards his wife: and the wifes dutie towards her husband. The parents dutie towards their children: and the childrens towards their parents. The masters dutie towards his seruants: and also the seruants dutie towards their masters. Gathered by R.C.	Cleaver, Robert, 1561 or 2-ca. 1625, attributed name.; Deacon, John, 17th cent, attributed name.; Carr, Roger, d. 1612, attributed name.; Cawdry, Robert, attributed name.	1598 (1598)	STC 5383; ESTC S108061	199,347	392

to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouern her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice Thirdly to dwell with her Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence 1. Pet. 13.7 1. Cor. 7.45 honestlie soberly and chastly 1. The wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband in al such duties as properly belong to marriage Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to gods ordinance Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband Fourthly and lastly to giue him mutuall beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof Thirdly wee call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lippes alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart for if it be onely a verball promise without any wil at all and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the partie that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they maye vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the longer to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed none wil preuaile but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent there is no cause why the Parents and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases when they shall vndoubtedly knowe that the promise was altogither vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can bee by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth woorse and woorse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married Gen. 24 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said Wee will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainely shewe that both the law of Nature and the law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment and absolute necessitie And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women to marrie in the Lorde how can that marriage be in the Lord when the one partie doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntarie For albeit it is not necessarie neither yet possible that there should bee such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and fully sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly wee call it voluntarie in respect of constraint and compulsion contrarie to a free consent for if eyther partie bee vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their Parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limme of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts This kinde of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to commaund and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels neither whereof they can keepe if their parents might compell them or Contract marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeelde their consent rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe much more may the Magistrate denie marriage where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion and so for these causes and in this sence and meaning alone wee conclude that Contract must bee voluntarie Fourthly it must bee a mutuall promise that is either partie must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decencie and order require the man to doo it first and then the woman because hee is her head and shee his glorie and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract And therefore may bee broken by Parentes and such as haue authoritie heerein because the partie vnpromising is not bound by word nor deede but is free insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed then for that it is any true Contract indeede But if it bee mutuall then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both so that in this regard neither Parent Magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it For this beeing fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother and shall bee ioyned to his wife and they two shall bee one flesh c. Genes 2.24 Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to bee short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie in no wise to bee omitted in Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman Where first it is to bee noted that it may not nor ought not to bee betweene any other creatures but mankinde nay neither among brute beastes

seuerely inioyned to all men and vnder so great a paine layd vpon thē yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that wee may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it for besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therfore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or to play and to doe any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and doe encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words There be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue in deede yet either through ignorance or negligence doe not once look to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and cōtinue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and they are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bin alreadie spoken concerning this matter that they doe too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answere in his busines which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe daies when their seruants are in their owne busines they will not let them come and goe at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they bee at their workes but will bee sure of it and therefore set them to it look vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it bee well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not needs then bee a great vnkindnes and vnthankfulnes in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needs bee a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and careles in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can bee in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernmēt namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them and then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their masters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kinde of rewarde is this that when they haue bestowed some earthly benefit vpon thē by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie his Sabboths doe in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Especially in great households where there are many seruants Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who being brought vp idely all the sixe daies and in them hauing nothing at all to doe and are neuer almost looked after vpon the seuenth day are as idle and as little regarded as vpon the other and as they neuer almost doe any good daies worke to their masters for they haue nothing to do so much lesse doe they spend any Sabboth in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or els they are readie to depart before halfe be ended and so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he shuld haue by them and them from that blessing which they should inherit this way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpō themselues and them that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabboth And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should doe them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishonor of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the hoast of the Philistines and drew water and brought it to him but hee would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering to the Lord and said 2. Sam. 23.15.16 Oh Lord bee it farre from me that I should doe thus is not this the blood of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate drinke that for which their seruants doe venture the liues of their soules And besides if wee iustly finde fault with them who doe neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they bee blameles who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needes be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the places where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it Obiection But whereas men are readie to obiect that in a great familie many must needs be absent We graunt it to be true Answer in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily so continually as they thēselues in their owne consciences are priuie of who make this obiection we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keep him in a continual breach of the Sabboth and therefore both master and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholly yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabboth day And wee know where there is a great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mispent namely by letting passe many needelesse things preparing so

that which no neede driueth them vnto Remember that the vertuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poore and needie Prou. 31.20 She giueth not of her husbands she giueth of her owne she found away to doe good without the hurt of her husband S. Paul requireth 1. Tim. 2.10 that women should array themselues with good workes the comeliest ornament in the world if women had spirituall eyes Acts. 9.36 to discerne it Dorcas in the Acts teacheth wiues how to get this array for shee made garments to cloath the naked and the poore Thus might women finde how to set themselues a worke though they could liue of their owne But such as haue but a meane allowance God thereby sheweth that he will haue them occupie themselues in some honest labour to keepe them from idlenesse and the euils that issue there-from They therefore must labour if not to sell cloth as Salomons woman did not to cloath the poore as Dorcas did yet to cloath her family that they may not care for the colde Let her auoide such occasions as may draw her from her calling She must shake off slouth and loue of ease she must auoide gosseping further then the lawe of good neighbourhoode doth require S. Paul would haue a woman a good home-keeper The vertuous woman is neuer so well as when shee is in the middest of her affaires She that much frequenteth meetings of gosseps seldome commeth better home some count it a disgrace to come much abroad least they should be counted gosseps which name is become odious but they must haue tatlers come home to them to bring them newes and to hold them in a tale least they should be thought to be idle without a cause They perceiue not how time runneth nor how vntowardly their busines goeth forward while they sit idle They know not that great tale-bringers be as great carriers and that such make their gaine of carrying recarrying The wise woman will be warie whom shee admitteth into her house to sit long there knowing that their occupation is but to marke carrie Towards her neighbours she is not sowre but courteous not disdainefull to the basest but affable with modestie no scorner nor giber but bearing with infirmities and making the best of things not readie to stomacke them for euery light matter and so to looke big but passing by offences for vnities sake not angrie but milde not bold but bashfull not full of words powring out al in her mind babling of her household matters that were more fitter to be concealed but speaking vpon good occasion and that with discretion Let her heare and see and say the best and yet let her soone breake off talke with such in whom shee perceiueth no wisedome nor fauour of grace Let her not be light to beleeue reports nor readie to tell them againe Silence is a grauitie when she abstaineth and holdeth her peace from speaking when it doth not become her to speake to fill the time with talke for silence is farre better then such vnsauorie talke Let her not be churlish but helpefull in all thinges to preuent breaches or else to make them vp againe if by the waiwardnesse of othets there be any made Let her not be enuious but glad of the good of others not fond of euery thing that she seeth her neighbours haue but wisely considering what is meet for her selfe and what her state will beare Let her not beg a wish in apparell but sober and modest not nice nor coy but handsome and huswifelike no talker of other mens matters not giuen to speake ill of any for feare of the like measure Matth. 7.2 1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife THis dutie cons●steth seuerally in these three points First that he liue with his wife discreetly according vnto knowledge Secondly that hee bee not bitter fierce and cruell vnto her Thirdly that hee loue cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne bodie and as Christ loued his Church and gaue himselfe for it to sanctifie it But before we shall speake of these ●hree points we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy Wedlocke what it is when where how and of whom it was instituted and ordained What wedlock is Wedlocke or Matrimonie is a lawfull knot and vnto God an acceptable a Math. 19.5.6 yoking and ioyning together of b Genes 1.27 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 Prou. 5.18.19 20. one man and one woman with the good consent of them both to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honestie one helping and comforting the other eschewing whoredome and all vncleannesse bringing vp their children in the feare of God or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh not to be broken according vnto the ordinance of God so to continue during the life of either of them Genes 2.24 Malach 2.14 Rom. 7.3 Yoking and dwelling together what it is By yoking ioyning or coupling is meant not onely outward dwelling together of the maried folkes as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of each other mutuall duties Mat. 1.18 1. Cor. 7.10 12 13. 1. Pet. 3.7 Ruth 4.11 12 but also an vniforme agreement of minde and a common participation of bodie and goods for as much as the Lord saith Ge● 2.24 that they two shall be one flesh that is one bodie This is to bee remembred that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together but also it must bee such a coupling together as commeth of God and is not contrarie to his word and will For there be some mariages made whom God coupleth not together but carnall lust beautie riches goods and lands flatterie and friendship in such mariages God is not thought vpon and therefore they sin the more against him These and such like mariages bee disliked and condemned in the Scripture Genes 6.1 2. Ezech. 10.1 c. Matth. 24.38 39. God did appoint and ordaine Matrimonie himselfe in Paradice so that he is the author of the same Gen. 2.20 Yea and our Sauiour Christ himselfe who being the very naturall sonne of God was borne in wedlocke although of a pure virgin did honour and commend Matrimonie while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle Iohn 2.1 at a mariage whereby he did declare that the Lord is able to make the bitternes of mariage sweet and the scarcitie thereof to abound with plentie And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to mariage saying that it is * Mariage honoura●●● 1. First for the Authour which is God 2. For the time which was during the ●t●●e of Adams innocencie 3. For the place which was paradice Honourable among all Heb. 13.4 that is among all estates and all nations The institution of Matrimonie is an indissoluble bond and knot whereby the husband and wife are fastned together by the ordinance of God and is e 〈◊〉 2.24 Matth.

exempt out of this number Gardians Masters and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed For if such bee commanded to prouide for them as parties of their owne families there is no reason why they should not especially bee respected aswell in bestowing them abroad out of their familie as they were in taking them into it for if their cōsent bee necessarie at their comming in why should they goe out without their consent Further wee say their parents and not his or her parents because parēts on both sides ought necessarily to consent allow their childrē to betroth themselues For this is the priuiledge not of some parents but of all and in that they be parents Moreouer we say allowed and not required neither commaunded nor yet exhorted or inducted so to doe because that albeit the parents doe neither call their children to this contract neither commaund them neither require them neither exhort them all which notwithstanding they ought to doe yet if they doe but onely allow them and giue their bare consent that they shall contract themselues it is enough for the tying of the knot and the substance of the contract And to prooue that this contract is necessarie we need no moe reasons then that which the Apostle setteth downe saying of the father 1. Cor. 7.30 Let him doe what he will by which words hee putteth it in the will and power of his parents whether to marrie or not to marrie saying in doing either of the twaine he sinneth not Yet it is written in another place Exod. 22.16.17 If her father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins In which words the Lord doth giue an absolute authoritie to the father to yeeld or not to yeeld his consent to giue or not to giue his daughter for if hee haue power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowred and so by the Apostles iudgement made one flesh with another much more lawfully may he denie his consent to her that is no maner of way bound but is euery way free 1. Cor. 6.16 And if hee haue power to denie his consent in such a case much more hath he power to giue his consent Now his authoritie and power to denie his consent is apparant by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe which sayth Take heede to thy selfe Exod. 34.16 that thou make no compact with the inhabitants of the land and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes c. More plaine Neither shalt thou make mariages with them Deut. 7.3 neither giue thy daughter vnto his son nor take his daughter to thy son How could those parents obserue this commaundement vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children Or why doth he rather forbidde this to the parents then to the children but to shew that the power to giue or not to giue was in the parents and not in the children especially considering that children being the principall partes of their parents goods are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giue and bestow then the rest are This was so well knowne in the Church and so vsually practised among the people of God that the greatest among them who might seeme to haue greatest libertie in that behalfe yet they durst not disobey this holie commandement of GOD. Iudg. 15. For Sampson the strongest of all though he loued a maide of the Philistines yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him Dauid a mightie valiant prince begged Micholl at the hands of Saul her father and after his death being betrothed vnto him he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues 2. Sam. 3.14 Gen. 29.18 c And Abraham the father of the faithfull by his seruant intreated Rebeccaes parents to giue her to wife to his sonne Isaack All which testimonies and examples doe plainly proue the greatest interest power and authoritie that parents haue in bestowing their children and that their consent needed to the sixe former points whereof wee haue spoken doth make so sure a Contract as cannot be loosed and vntied by any authoritie vnder heauen For here in this that saying of Christ Matth. 19.6 is trulie verified Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together But if this or any of the former bee omitted the Contract may bee broken and disanulled And least wee should bee ignorant or forget what those errours are which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract these they bee First if there bee onely a naked shew of a promise and yet no promise indeede Secondly if any other thing bee promised then mariage Thirdly if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced Fourthly if one of the parties alone doe promise and not both Fiftly if it were made between other creatures or other persons or betweene moe then one man and one woman Sixtly if the persons contracted or either of them bee altogether vnfit for mariage Seuenthly if either of them be formerly betrothed or haue committed adulterie after the contract or be alied or a kin or for any other cause not at libertie to marrie Eightly if there lacke the consent of the parents If all or any of these bee vndoubtedly knowne and cleerely proued they doe ioyntly and seuerallie frustrate or nullifie the Contract so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same and set the parties at libertie But contrarily if all these concurre and accord the contract is as inuiolable as mariage it selfe neither can the parties bee set at libertie by themselues or by any power whatsoeuer because this contract and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord. It being a sacred ordinance of God as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints so now it is time to declare and teach the same First therefore it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headines of carnall naturall and brutish lust for if this contract be holily and dutifully kept according to the former doctrine it would neuer come to passe that any person man or woman should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily vpon euery instigation of lust like brute beasts but would willingly in all modestie and sobrietie take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessarie and holie contract which is ordained to this ende that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation to learne all the vses and abuses all commodities and incommodities all comforts and discomforts with all duties breaches of duties that can fall into the honourable estate of mariage Secondly it serueth to discouer betimes and in good season all sorts of impediments lets that may or ought to hinder the mariage that is promised Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony

by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer wherein notwithstanding they must consider what is expedient least by this long breaking off as it were from mariage they be stirred vp to incontinencie The second point which is that the husband should not bee bitter fierce or cruell vnto his wife which point is prooued by the sayd Apostle Collos 3.19 Anger in a husband is a vice saying Husbands loue your wiues and bee not bitter vnto them First and aboue all things the husband must bee circumspect to keepe the band of loue and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnes betwixt them The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience as it is vnpossible alwaies to bee free from it then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie gentlenes and patience and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure How when the husband ought to reproue Ephes 4.26 And if he shall haue occasion to speake sharply and sometimes to reproue he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of other but let him keepe hi● words vntill a conuenient time which is the point of a wise man and then vtter them in the spirit of meeknesse and in the spirit of perfect loue and he must not let sometimes to couer faults Faults sometimes must be couered with loue and winke at them if they be not too great and intollerable Whatsoeuer losse or mischance shall happen vnto him let him take it patiently and beare it cheerfully yea though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence yet let it rather bee a louing warning to take better heed in time to come then a cause of sorrow for that which is past and can not be holpen Euery wise man by his owne experience knoweth Not to take vnkindenesse for euery trifle that he is in this life subiect to manie inconueniences and that of nature he is prone to displeasure and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle specially with his best friends yea soonest with his louing wife who is lothest to displease him Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption and consider that hee ought most of all in loue to beare with his wife according to Christs example towards his Church who gaue himselfe for it that he might sanctifie it Fphes 5.25 26 27 28 29. and clense it by the washing of water through the word That he might make it vnto himselfe a glorious Church not hauing spot or wrinckle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blame So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies hee that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church As if the Apostle had said The husband is to the wife in Gods stead The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what maner of Church Christ gaue when he ioyned it to himselfe and how he doth not onely not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen or nature therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if hee loue not his wife which hee proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church togither and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided Husbands may not be rigorous towards their wiues especially when they be new married Prou. 20.3 The husband is alwaies to remember that hee bee not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience otherwise it shall rather bee the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome t● gouerne and the wife patience to suffer they shal be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to bee iarring and brauling The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruan● 〈◊〉 as a fellow Pro. 8.7 and 14 9. and 15.5 and 18.2 27.22 Pro. 9.1 9. and 19.25 Genes 16.6 Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient because that if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discreetly sayd she will neuer amend by that which is threatned VVhen the wife shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likelie that there will often follow braulings and quarels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun braulings and quarellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoide the same when they shall bee newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will ●●e returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their mariage the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truly setled one toward the other The falling out of louers is the renewing of loue although afterwards they come to some household words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnes not of old rooted hatred therfore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred bee mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the daies of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet neuer forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of mariage doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her husband then a miserable life will follow to them both For although