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A79777 The church-vvardens repentance. Or, Mr. Connivvools recantation. VVherein is expressed his penitent sorrow, for oppression on the poores box. Likewise, his admonition to all covetous doctors, carelesse curates, charitable church-wardens, hypocriticll over-seers, bribe-taking constables, conniving headboroughs, dissembling sextons, and begger-whipping beadles. / Written by Thomas Tell-troth, by request of the said Mr. Conniwooll, who desires that his friendly admonitions may be accepted, of all those that would be esteemed free from his offences. Tell-Troth, Thomas. 1641 (1641) Wing C4276; Thomason E180_12; ESTC R12606 2,771 8

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THE CHURCH-VVARDENS REPENTANCE OR Mr CONNIWOOLS RECANTATION VVherein is expressed his penitent sorrow for Oppression on the Poores Box. Likewise His Admonition to all covetous Doctors carelesse Curates Charitable Church-Wardens Hypocriticall Over-seers bribe-taking Constables conniving Headboroughs dissembling Sextons and Begger-whipping Beadles Written by Thomas Tell-troth by request of the said Mr Conniwooll who desires that his friendly Admonitions may be accepted of all those that would be esteemed free from his offences Printed in the Yeare 1641. THE CHVRCH-WARDENS REPENTANCE Trueman and Coniwooll MAster Trueman welcome I made bold to send for you about some speciall affairs which I hope will both content you and benefit my almost condemned soul Trueman Beleeve me M. Coniwoll this news is very pleasing to me and what I can perform to gain content unto your dying same shall be imployed at large Coniwoll T is in your power because to you of late I made recitall of those heinous crimes which then I thought were meritorious therfore I thought it fittest that you should be a witnesse of my penitence Trueman I joy in the performance pray proceed Coniwooll I shall sir and as condemned men being brought to execution I confesse I have deserved to have been hanged some eighteen times if I had had my due for I have been the veriest Jew that ever lived on earth Some thirtie times I robd the poore mans box and all the money I have spent in Sack since I was five and twentie yeers of age have I obtained by cosening and cheating Trueman Indeed t is true you have been a cheating Raschal but do you now repent Coniwoll With all my heart and I do meane henceforward if ever I come to be Churchwarden to make the poore amends Trueman With such another Coniwooll O by no meanes hence forth they shall have Coals at fourteen pence I le bate them the odd two pence If any honest Gentleman or Knight be pleased to make me his Executor I le pay them all their Legacies in groats and get but one poore 12. pence in a pound Trueman But will you be so honest Coniwooll Truly I if any man would have my Coniwooll I le bate them six pence now in every pound for I resolve to be an honest man and play the knave no more Trueman T is true indeed you have used that trade too long Coniwooll Besides I do forgive that honest man sirnamed Tom Teltroth who a book did write and made my faults aparant to the world and wrought me to conversion Trueman Indeed he was a very honest man and you had need reward him Coniwooll The money likewise I hereafter gather upon Communion dayes shall be bestowed upon poore people it shall never be shar'd amongst the poore Churchwardens Nor will I have any mentall reservation when I cry Pray remember the poore meaning my self and my brethren of the Vestry and not the poore of the Parish Trueman T is well resolved beleeve me neighbour Coniwooll this your repentance makes me wondrous glad and to the world I will so plaine expresse it that those poore people that before did flout you shall now adore you you shall no more be like a wandring starre but now be sixt and make your seven stars eight which then shall shine although now clouded brightly and divine Coniwooll One thing more because I desire to give to the world a large testimonie of my repentance I have framed by the help of Mr. Thomas Teltroth whose friendship I esteeme above my life a friendly admonition to all my brethren alias Vestry men from the greatest to the least whersoever disperst thorow out the 3. kingdoms of England Scotland Ireland Trueman Pray let me hear it Coniwooll You shall sir First I do admonish every covetous carelesse Doctor which esteemes his profit above his pulpit those that wil preach but once a moneth and that too by reason that he will have his share of the poores money which is gathered on Communion daies let me be your pattern resolve to be honest hereafter preach once in a fortnight although you make a repetition Sermon rack not the bodies of your Parishioners but feed their souls Trueman A Christian like admonition Heaven grant they may have the grace to follow it Coniwooll Next I admonish everie Curate to be officious in the performing the dutie belonging to his place and calling and to be an upright man not to take money of rich Heirs to make large praises of those that are dead which living were not praise-worthy a crime neighbour to frequent amongst some of our Curates and Lecturers Thirdly I admonish every Sexton or Clark never to connive or joyn with their covetous Doctor in the giving way to have private burials out of rich mens houses of the sicknesse and other infectious diseases onely to hide it from the world for which they receive a great summe of money share it amongst themselves which being done the cl●rk he cries Amen Trueman True indeed Master Conniwooll too many of them cry Amen when they have more need to cry Amend but should they doe so they would not be so rich nor would they strive so much for the place and I beleeve it is more for love to the profit that insues by it than any love they have to the religious office meerely of the service of God But pray you proceed Coniwooll Fourthly I admonish you and all my brethren Church-wardens and Overseers of the poore I beseech you be overseers for the poore deale uprightly make no more five pound Suppers with the poores money drinke no more pottles of Sacke at the Parish charge buy your wives no more Taffata petty-coates nor ten pound Gorgets with your weekly shares out of the poores box Likewise I beseech you to be carefull Stewards at offerings let a plaine paire of gloves given you by the bride-groome content you take up no more Crownes to buy you fringe Gloves richly perfumed Surely Brethren I have found it to be true that the richest perfume most strangely doth consume and vanish away in a short winters day and instantly doth perish Trueman Truely Brother a man may beleeve this to be true because you have had the tryall of all these things Coniwooll To my great griefe I have but to the next Likewise all Constables Headboroughs and Beadles let me admonish you to watch warily least you verifie the old Proverb Harme watch harme catch trust not to the eyes of your associates sleepe not for feare you be taken napping if a Gentleman and his Taffata-Lasse in her Copper lace russell by you have a care she put not our one of your eyes with a spangle let them not goe scot-free for if it be knowne you will have no colour for it Likewise you Beadles that tyrannise over a begger and shake hands with a pick pocket take heed for though you have carried many a begger to Bridewell such Rogues will carry you to Tiburne and then you will finde it better to have said Stand theefe than goe Beggar So having finisht my Admonitions I rest hoping that my example will induce all my brethren Officers that know themselves guiltie to repent like me for feare that Thomas Telleroth finde Imployment to anatomize their names as he hath done mine Thus leaving the honest Officers to their continuance in vertue and the knavish Officers to amend I rest with this Proverb Let none but the gald Horse kicke let none take my Admonition amisse but him that would proclaime himselfe guiltie of my offences Let all amend let every man abhorre So great a crime as to deceive the poore Be not ambitious Office to obtaine For justly by Church-Office none can gaine Be faithfull Wardens and your soules regard An upright Steward cannot want reward For the poores prayers will daily mount the skies And offer for your soules a Sacrifice Acceptable to God and you shall rest Happy on earth in Heaven for ever blest FINIS