be of the ancienter house of the D' Amadisses we have very good Authority for the Country in generall Eâ— quic quid Graecia mendax Audet in Historiâ Graeculus esuriens in caelum jusseris ibit Which was further then ever any Knight Errant went though they have been even starv'd as my Don. And for particular places Aratus will testifie for the Cretians that they were lyars without intermission as he writes it to their teeth in their own language we will therefore end this perplexed piece of controversy as our father Ben hath given example who dedicating his Fox to the two Universities of this Iland Fox-like knowing they alwaies quarrelled for Antiquity in a most handsome and unenviable compellation stil'd them most equall Sisters So of these two Brothers in Errantry that we may not set the books together against one another let them be Fratres Fraterrimi but the licentiate is not so mercifull here as he might have been for Amadis of Greece being the younger was more fit to have been saved and D' Gaul to have been sacrificed being of the older house which was fittest for the fire For he had deprived it of much naturall worth in the translation Aurea haec verba Translations are commonly the staines and shadows to their Parents and gain only a reputation to the originall Author Father Ben when one unhappily mulcted for peeping into holes he had no right to swore he had got a clap which he called the French Pox was worthily wroth at the expression and in a fume said why not Sr the English Pox we have as good and as large as they have any If a disease may not be translated why a book Let English men write of their owne wits fancies subjects disputes sermons Histories Romancees are as good vigorous lasting and as well worthy the reading as any in the world Our Fairy Queen the Arcadia Drayton Beaumont and Fletcher Shakespeare Iohnson Rondolph and lastly Gondibert are of eternall fame But Captaine Iones the only unparallell Romancy and fit to be the Legend of all Countries and fit to be translated by forreign Nations for the reason in the Text. But other effects we have of this wise for would we translated nothing but books from other Nations our very vanities nay vices and amongst them our oaths must be of an exotick extraction and we have arriv'd unto that damnable excellency shame to our proficiency and ability in as various and big dialects as the Ionick Attick Dorick Hellenick or any other nay as all Nations under Heaven Country-men Pudet haec opprobria vobis Et dici potuisse non potuisse refelli If we must be translating let us translate these vices to their proper quarters be just and give every Country that which is their own sufficient will be our vices for our punishments wherefore to Germany her ebriety to Spaine her ambition to France her levity to Turky her Polygamy to Greece her lies to Rome her superstition to Venice her jelousie and revenge to Scotland her treachery and so to every part what is theirs and feare not the remaines perchance will be more then the full meale Let Palmerin of England be preserv'd Gratias Hispane I could kisse thy large Moor-lip for this favour But had you heard of Bevis of Southampton the Counter-scuffle Sir Eglamore Iohn Dory the Pindar of Wakefield Robin Hood or Clem of the Cluff these no doubt had been recommended to the Vatican without any Index expurgatorius or censure at all These to wit books of Poetry ought not to be burn'd Poâ—ts indeed were excommun'd Plato's Common-Wealth but yet Augustus in the Zenith of his Empire cherished them and sate with them If such abilities depresse not themselves by meane subjects but keep up the gravity of their stiles in their due decorum not making Corinna's of Levia's adulterating and estimating their fancies with unbecomming mixtures they and their writings too may be fit company for the best Potentates in the World Quoth the Neece you shall doe well to have them burned also This wench was neither wise nor beautifull nor ever had ingenious servant who bestowed a copy of verses upon her Mopsa's face else shee would have been more pittifull to men of this imployment who get little god wot by their wits if they cannot purchase a maides good will If all the female World were so hard hearted what a ruine would fall on a number of distressed wights who have no estates left but Physick Poetry or teaching a school The gentler breasts of the virginities of London are compassionately mov'd if a Ballad of Iane Shore be reviv'd or any figment new raised where Phillis and Corydon sadly complaine of their owne unfortunate loves or indeed if any Shepheard be so long through the unjustifiable stubbornnesse of his Amaryll kept from his and her desires too for all her seeming coynesse that poor man he is put to that necessitie that he will have her by hook or by crooke The treasure of divers Poems It is a booke with our school-boyes in great request called in the Latine Tongue Thesaurus Poeticus As others we have for helps of young boys such as delitiae delitiaruÌ„ Flores Poetarum which being collections choice as the Authors promised if their judgements were alwayes in the right out of the numerous list of the sonnes of the Quill there may be very good use of them as Mr Licentiat knew of the use of Postils if the lazy or ignorant scholar did not take the whole copy instead of a little to piece out his fancy But is in Poetry as in other thefts give an inch and they 'le take an ell It should be purged of some base things Our age first reform'd in Poetry and afterwards in Religion Marhassis I remember was gelt if that be English for Castratus who is one of the quickest wits and a Spaniard by birth as ever wrote an Epigram yet he had some salt in his taile which was not refin'd which cals to mind that about the time that Author came out purg'd and made an Eunuch a reverend Doctor had the book and singularly commended it as it stood now corrected and amended for it had passed the stool of repentance and I believe the emasculations were some Scotch mans Now the Doctor for he was much taken with the pure Bâ—â—ke told his scholars all the filthy Epigrams which were left out and had excellently translated them all from the copy to his head and I believe to his heart for by heart he had them all CHAP. VII Our Knight awakes perplext and very moody At all his losses Iavelin wits and study That Muniaton Freston or the Divell The one should be so cruell this uncivill Full fifteen dayes he rested at the Mancha Untill by chance he met with Sancho Pancha Who was a credulous old fool a man Who thought each Goose of Quixots was a Swan And sweld with hopes of Kingdoms and of Castles He leaves his house and
friend to the Millener and loves no powder but that of the Gunn To whom Don Quixot said good Ladies doe not weep It was a needlesse prohibition for they did but say they wept teares of laughter they had shed many upon him and now if any were visible they proceeded from the same cause Nay two of these mourners when the Don roar'd and made out-cries able to have pierc'd the heart of a Savage were at laugh and lye downe and made sport with his miseries Ploratur lachrymis amissa pecunia veris. Had the Knight made an escape and avoided the score then they would have out-houled an Irish VVoolfe but secure of the reckoning the joyfull departure of their suspected guest rais'd this merry showre in their eyes His happy journy from them 't is believed they heartily wish'd but not a Bead dropt for his returne Goe and welcome a Spanish Proverbe for an indigent Traveller and we have as good Your room is better then your company The Don was though many times insolvent alwaies thankfull and would know the house againe a Complement that might have been spar'd unlesse he came with his temporall and spirituall stewards the Lord Ferdinand and the Curate The Inne-keeper came also and gave the Curate certaine Papers The drawers curtesie to the Prince was more gentile though it were but a paper of Sugar but if mine Host were hide-bound it was excusable for since Don Quixot frequented the house he was never without swaths fillers plaisters and armestals so that he lookt more like a brother of some Hosptall then the keeper of an Inne It was no doubt no small comfort to him to see the Author of his manifold misfortunes thus ingloriously riding from his house and so hamper'd that it was impossible for him to play any more mad pranks The Blanket and the Cage being the sweet revenges for Sancho's and his masters injuries Truly brother I am better acquainted with books of Chivalry then Villapandas Logick This Canon of Toledo was rather for Toledo blades and the Canon of the Field then Church without question preferr'd for writing or reading Romances rather then Postils to the Countesse his Patronesse which services find sooner rewards then those of the Service-Book This fellow was never counted a meer scholar never so bookish as to break his rest or his braines about his study Pleasant discourses pleas'd better then school divinity and a Legend then a Homily he hath attain'd to the top of his desires and scarce saluted Iack Seton or Ramus nor his owne Villapanda Swarez and Vasquez are names he never heard of He leap'd over Logick and the Metaphysicks he never came neer however it was his good chance that he prov'd a Preacher though no Scholar yet for the books he was most conversant in his accounts are very good and argues a great proficiency having proceeded from Garagantua to Gusman and now as the crowne of all ending in Quixot Mr Barber you should take heed how you speak for all consists not in trimming of Beards c. Sancho begins to be undeceived and the imposturage will no longer last nothing is more violent then abus'd simplicity when it once discovers the cheat True Sancho Beards are but bushes and good wine needs none cofeners goe mask'd and in Visards But old time will pluck off those disguises and render every thing in its own likenesse He is very pressing upon Mr Curate also who had a main hand in these perswasions and by whose authority and credit the whole design was brought about and leaves the matter to his Conscience which he hopes will perplex him one day as much as his delusions have confounded them and for his confederate the Barber the forge of this Inchantment he wishes the next generation may be Eunuchs that there may not be a Beard to turne up or a good face to wash as long as the world stood So indignely did Sancho take these affronts that in despight to the Curate he was resolv'd to splay his sows at his return that he might never have tithe in kind any more Verily Mr Curate I doe find by experience that bookes of Chivalry are very prejudiciall to well govern'd Common-wealths Mr Canon in this discourse seems to weaken the credit and use of writings of this nature and to prefer and commend Aesops Fables and Alciats Emblems wherein the Morall may be for instruction though the story be of a Cock and a Bull but it is not unknown that this age hath more abounded with Romances then any other upon what reason is not hard to conjecture and yet no man dare say but here is a well govern'd Common-wealth but what prejudice I pray when the subjects are known to be fabulous and figments no man's faith is beguiled nor any perswaded to believe them as a truth rather on the contrary where the minds of the vulgar are not busied in some such pleasant arguments they fall upon matters which lesse concerne them and become troublesome Judges of the State and Church wherein they live wherefore it hath been accounted great policy to divert those mens fancies by licensing Plaies sports and divers recreations from businesses above their capacity and not of common ventilation For want of these chimera's which had no more harm in them then their impossibility reall phantasmes and strong delusions have succeeded and possessed not a few who transported with their owne imaginations doe not write Romances but act them and fill the world with substantiall Tragaedies CHAP. XXI The Canon and the Curate find out waies To make Romances good and write good plaies Such as may edifie such I have seen Of holy subjects and with Psalmes between The Acts of Dives and of Lazarus Of Hester good and great Aâ—asheverus Which now through Poets vanity and sloth Are seen in Puppet plaies or painted cloth The stage reform'd as they say 't is thought on Time may be spent there well as reading Broughton No fooles with Harry Codpieces appeare Nor Souldiers suffered in their parts to sweare No Lady vitiated o' th' stage before us But let Susanna's bathing be by Chorus And so alike for bookes let nought be written That may give scandall and is unbefitting But as slie Sancho politiquely found His master to be loose i' th' hilts though bound So let the matter of the books and stage Be cleanly kept as was Don Quixot's Cage TEXT BOth the Authors that compose them and Actors that represent them must be such as they be for to please the peoples humours It was an old one and before this criticall observation said Populo ut placerent quas fecisset fabulas Nay in their Amphitheatricall gladiatures the lives of captives lay at the mercy of the Vulgar verso pollice vulgi Quemlibet occidunt populariter And although the only Laureat of our stage having compos'd a Play of excellent worth but not of equall applause fell downe upon his knees and gave thanks that he had transcended the capacity
Heaven and they will seal it on earth He saw her first at the foot of a rock where the Fountain stands of the Cork-tree Many take great Omens from the place where they first saw their Mistresses this fellow 's first view was from a Cork-Tree Fountain ever since she made water in his mouth but it was unfortunate first because there was a Rock which was the emblem of her hard heart then a Cork Tree which is the emblem of levity inconstancy volubility and hupernatability then at a Fountain which will never stand still but is alwaies running and so nothing can be done It had been farre better if fortune had owed him so much good luck to have seen her rising from gathering of a Rose or in the very cropping a flowers or collection of a whole posy Besides that the proverb especially that which plainly and not parabolically laies down the beginning of Love made for him it must needs have prov'd auspicious for in progresse of a small time it must have come to a wedding Others have had their first views in a Church others at a puppet play at dancing of the ropes some at Green goose Fair many upon May day in the morning which being heretofore sacred to Florâ—â— who was a sweet minion I can tell you in pursuance of her ceremonies have had a green gowne which hath brought things in it's due time out of the parsly bed of him that had the view of the Temple for I cannot ensample you in all take this small account The Amoretto was wont to take his stand at one place about the pew where sate his Mistresse who was a very attentive hearer of the man above her and the sutor was as diligent an eyer of her for having a book and black-lead pen alwaies in his hand as if he took notes of the sermon at last he got her exact picture The Lady observing his constant zeale and quotidian paines for she imagin'd that he wrote short-hand could not withstand the pious Rhetorick of his eye by which fascination he first transmitted the venemous qualities of his warme affections then finding some gracious returnes of her bright luminaries and favourable aspects he gaz'd so long sometimes that he forgot his Table till eye checkt to his duty he scribled not a word of what was spoken In processe of time he came to neerer Colloquies and they spake as others doe by their lips whereby the Impulses of his desires were so strong that shee submitted her selfe to this religious servant who after taking possession of her ensuring office told her the notes he took and shew'd her the fairest lines that ever were drawn in short hand the Lady seeing her face so well done chid him for his hypocrisy and bid him abuse that place no more but charg'd him to work on where he was untill he copy'd out one like them both Sow Barly this yeare and no Wheat Country people are abomination superstitiously given to credit such kind of Artists A seasonable Almanack gaines more reputation then the King of Spaines Bible with all his languages or the King of France with more then his or our late English translation with more then both If the Calender say fair wet windy indifferent or mixt of both they will quarrell with the stars if they make â—or good what Lilly said though in the point of the Eclipse they think him a little contoxicated as they say He that made the day is not once thought on unlesse he agree with the book which is ador'd if it prognostick a good seeds-time and Harvest-time and those yeares most joyfull where our Ladies day being Rent-day fals out late when the Lady lies in the Lords lap 2d for such an Almanack It is ordinary in the Meridian of London for the wenches at an Easter to refuse the Communion unlesse the Apprentices assure them a faire day to aire their Festivall cloths at Isâ—ington Hogs-Town or Totnam high crosse He appeared one day apparelled like a Shepheard Our student hath chang'd his coat he is of a black become a gray Fryar O Love what a puddeâ— hast thou made in this world below yea and in that above too if we will believe the stories of Iupiters shapes and escapes his cleanly conveyance of himselfe into the shape of Amphitruo and thereby into Alcumena was very neat and of all his Metamorphoses the most probable that of the Bull Swan and Ramme are beastly lies But for a Lady to be surpriz'd with I pray Iove it be Iohn makes her in the very fact a Lucreece a Goddesse of chastity while Amphitruo is made a Iupiter and takes one of his principall attributes even Capitolinus which when he is so worshipp'd he weares hornes which signify not as we vulgarly imagine knavishly but according to the Hebrew signification light shining glorious or transparent This whining passion of Shepheards was very antient among the Arcadians who were the first pipers that we read of but they made their nymphs dance after their musick two or three to a flute for the first age was Polygamouâ— they were stout lads and more than Cock-a-twos I wonder how the Don mist this praise of the golden Age in his Oration I fear I shall find him a Castrill or a Pigill like old Chrysoftome or else thus transform'd he would have had her by hook or by crook He made the Carols for Christmasse day at night As good songs no doubt as our Wassallers or the Whitney singers tone upon those antient Festivals His fancy sure could not be very high where the subject and reward was but a spice boul but it took excellently and that 's enough Don could doe no more and he that wrote in contempt of minor Poets thus in that Elegy You might safely swear This verse they wrote in wine and this in heer Very critically observ'd and yet to see the fate of the times some like him and some doe not some cry hey for Garzinton and some cry hey for Hâ—rsâ—path E'en as they like ' quoth the good fellow when he kis'd his Cow The Villagers could not guesse the cause of the two Students wonderfull change I can tell you of a stranger Metamorphosis and of a Knight and an old one who by his yeares was fitter for the grave than a Lady Who notwithstanding the silver Items on each side his face and argont pendents of his chin was resolved to stumble in at the Lover hole before he fell into the pit and so passionately pursued his affection Hercules was not more effeminate when he turn'd Spinster to Cozen Omphale that he shifted his Velvâ—t Truncks which was his customary wearing and habited All-a-mode in the long slopps became a Monsieur of St Thomas Gresham O strange Exchangeâ— Then he cut off his reverend beard which on Cato's face would have countenanced a rattle and smoothed his cheeks which â—he wind in fifty yeares had never kiss'd and with a blaâ—â—-lead combe chang'd the colour of those haires
not minde his Calls Nor hath the Don or gold or gilded Balls To bait her flight but both resolve together To bait themselves and let the Devill go with her The grasse is Table to the Don and meat To Rosinant who full was for a feat And lust full scents the Mares Gallician And presently is for coition The lab'ring â—ades were not for wanton tricks But answer his Levalto's with shrewd kicks But Rosinant persists and maugre packs He mounts girt-burst upon their skittish backs But the Yanguesian Carriers with Battoon Did cudgell out of 's side the salt Baboon And tam'd him straight where at the enraged Don Enters the Lists but had blowes three for one And Sancho too was here a Combatant But you will know the issue by the plaint Plainiffs were both both Sancho and his Master Defendants none the Umpire is a plaster TEXT TRavelling the space of two houres without finding her they arived to a pleasant Meâ—â—w Marcela was too quick of foot for the Don she that used to chase the vvilde Boare and ore-take the wounded Stagge hovv vvas it possible that an over-ridden Stallion or a tame Asse should over-reach her Horse and Asses tir'd and soultred with the heat of the day more than affection they flung their caps at her they had tassell ones in their pockets and cryed as we doe of a Hare escaped let her goe 't is but dry meat But the Meadow is got the pleasant smiling Meadow but no Marcela to bestowe a green gowne on here is the pure and refreshing streame but not Marcela who us'd to dresse her sweet face in it made more sleek lovely and glassy by receiving and returning those lines and imagery to those eyes which were only fit to behold them They did fall to with good accord and fellowship Hopelesse of satisfying their eyes they consult how to pleasure the rest of their senses and the Don being maimed in the Organ of one of the chiefest it was high time to provide for the maintenance of the rest Strato discumbiter Ostro The green Carpet was laid before them and they more graecorum in their lying down not at this time in taking up for they had no Caecubum I may say too more Brutoni for Bos pro cumbit humi they I say laid themselves downe falling to it haile fellow well met Sancho prov'd the nimbler feeder having his nose seldome out of the Manger which the Don did not so much mind because he often gaz'd about for adventures and did not follow his blow or rather his stroake for this encounter is of the Teeth insomuch that Sancho was the Knight of the Meadow though the Squire of the High-way Rosinante had a desire to solace himselfe with the Lady Mares Rosinante it seems was not runne off all his metall he was back'd to enterprizes and would have had a Barriers with a Gallician Philly which was a great errour in the Cephael-Errant for he was by ordure of his horse-hood to have reliev'd the Lady Mares not as Spanish Iennets are begot nor in that corner who were oppress'd and overladen with heaviâ— packs and ought not to have laid more sacks to the Mill as they say being the only horse of the only Lady-relieving Knight now remaining in the whole world But the Yanguesian Carriers finding the Beast troubled with melancholy presently flew in to the assistance of their Mares who had hitherto more then many rationall creatures will doe defended themselves from this foule ravisher with their heeles But now Rosinante is at the stoole of repentance never was paure Brute so hamper'd for wicked intentions never such sharp blowes for the gentle stroakes that he meant to his Galician sweetharts besides that he did carrie the favours of one of the goodliest amongst them upon his flank as plain a Mare-shooe as ever was made by Smith these Battoone marks were too intollerable which their Masters did accumulate upon his hide till he lay down upon the grasse worse tired with this wooden entertainment then if he had all-abroud as the Scotch Kerle saith aw the Phillyes one after another upon the place Sancho at the second Peale is struck downe and the Don fell at his Coursers feet Love me and love my dog It was a signe Sancho did not heartily affect the Don that he was so unwilling to relieve Rosinante from the Yanguesian Gyants but he had reason for it he saw their number and the noise of the weapons from Rosinante's sides made him provide for his own Feare hath a quick eare and though it was tickled with the government of the Island which alwaies buzz'd in the hollow of it yet he perceived it was a desperate causway that conducted thither and that he should undergoe very strict discipline before he came to exercise any And so it proved for though he was spurr'd up with hopes by the couragious inspirations of the Don yet alas notwithstanding he collected his full spirit what were Hercules and Lycas against more then twelve labours at once or rather labourers whom Sancho very properly advised not to charge on foot or indeed at all or to engage upon a horse quarrell which would gaine no credit in History and especially if they should be foil'd what a blemish would it be in the book that was to be wrote of them to see in a great Cut or Brasse leafe there Rosinante laid breathlesse and by him the Don not able to heave a side or stir a limbe or stretch forth a hand and Sancho in wofull manner pictur'd aloof off with his face to the ground asham'd to looke up to Heaven or upon man or beast after this ignoble victory Only the Asse reserv'd to carry away the blushing spoiles of the field will be seen in the piece free grazing and leaping and as having more wit then three contented himselfe with his pasture not like Rosinante given to lust nor like both the fools I mean as to this enterprize his masters given to revenge The Carriers with all possible speed trussing up their loading followed on their way Fuga est pro culpâ A guilty Conscience is a thousand Judges Juries and witnesses But who shall make hue and cry after them who shall raise the Country It being done betwixt Sunne and Sunne the hundred was to pay for the Injury done by the Carriers which were wont to pay for injuries done to them But it was secure as to that matter for cantabit vacuus The Don fear'd no robbing and as for their Brutes they were not worth stealing Nothing was taken from them the fault was in what was given them and not the hundreds nor ten thousands could take it off Sancho more wise for in aâ—flictions he got experience then his Master who like his Couzen in the mortar never profited remembred his Lord of the liquor at Feoblas which was much that his head so disordered could containe so hard a word in it But as for the Balsamum Fierebras it was at that
make a businesse of it when as Lords and Ladies doe the same and he having admitted his Squire into such familiarity there could be no greater expression of Sancho's acceptance and haile-fellowship then that Coram te pedere Sancho solet This Favour Don doe not deny Let him that he fly not let fly But the thing is justifiable by nature and there is a book wrote by Grobiaus and Grobiana who are the Patron and Patronesse of these deportments wherein the Scholars are authoriz'd to the venting disburthening at any place or time be it Dinner Sermon Prayers or any other while whatsoever of that flatulent spirit which is troublesome or desirous to be disposessed Besides that the Emperor Claudius Enacted a Law for the common use of liberty at Meals and amongst other Histories you might heare one anothers ta'les go Mâ—re incitements to this sport you may read in Fartarethis de arte Ca-candi which is very wel worth that for which it was made it cannot be then wast paper being most properly imploi'd but if for a more legall justification you suspend these which so suspended smother'd or stifled prove lactium Tormina subligaculorum discrimina take the Text for it Lege de egestis Podice grave onerato Tit Nose Autem vel siquis intervenerit Turning back againe to Sancho to bid him farewell he commanded him to stay for him three dayes at the longest c. Aurora displaied her selfe after this Wedding Sancho's I mean was ended which sort of solemnities are most commonly in the night and the Don is very unfortunately among a company of Chesnut Trees for Sanch'os fruits were not so sweet through which the adventure of the Sound came so fresh againe to the Eare which was next that without heed given to what Sancho had said or considering aright the omens and presagings of his Augurhole a few words being spoken to Sancho snobbing at his Insensiblenesse and undauntednesse the Don resolv'd to take the Sound leaving behind him if he had miscarried only this copy of his countenance for Dulcinea and these few Lâ—gacies for Sancho Panca After my three dayes absence so long stay So long may last this sound and bouncing fray Returne and tell Dulcinea that her Don Had blowes enough before he now went on Blowes to that number and of such high grace As dubb'd him Knight of the Illfavour'd face Tell her beside what did befall my jawes My chops are fallen and my wide mouths god saws My teeth I mean are beaten out that if I liv'd spoon-meat bad been my chiefe relief What on my sides is seen tell how my eares Not fully two more lugg'd then any Swine or Beares Continuall Catadupes do stound But I Will either still this sound or by sound dye Then taking Sancho by the Fist My Testament begins thus Amen Ego In as good sences and as rich as Dego Bequeath my body to a plat of ground To be interr'd without or words or sound Musick or prayers kill'd by a sound my tombâ— In scorne of sounds shall only hold out mumm Then look behinde an antient painted cloth Cover'd and hid from sight by fly and moth There read what lands I meant to conquer there Are all the Castles in a Register And at the end of that victorious List Thy Islands nam'd 't is so I mary ist My goods 'twixt Dul and thee divide pray prise 'um Let none the Inventary boldly gaze on Or buy before that you have made election It is my love to thee to her affection Dulcinea is my sole Executrix The seale is my nailes Thumb the Indorsement Quix. When DON QUIXOT saw what was done he waxed all ashamed and mute and Sancho's Cheeks were swolne with laughter and the Don also laugh'd a little himselfe Quantâ despe decidi Is our adventure prov'd a Fulling-Mill are our Silver staves turn'd to Iron Maces and our Gyants earth-bred indeed but of Fullers earth Certainly by the sound something of the employment wrought upon Sancho which scowr'd him so and yet if either of the two Sancho should have been first in this Encounter for it was necessary for him after he had foul'd his Breeches Our Tragedy is chang'd into pure Comedie and instead of a Prize we are like to have a jiggo of two principall Clownes each gibing the other they are now at the Ti-hee and without tickling laugh till their sides ake as if they were under correction of the Maces Sancho hath the better in this grinning Prize and so long they interchangeably kept it up that in the Spanish Tone and Accent you may sing Per multos risos poteros cognoscere stultos The Don was enraged but chiefly hearing him say in gibing manner I was borne by the disposition of Angels The slave Sancho doth supra parasite it turnes mime Satyr Sarcast Hyperaspist Quixo-mastix and from the Don 's own mouth hath a Mockabere for him I am the man by Providence design'd To change the Iron age to Gold refin'd Which without Alchymie or loads of Coales Or whites of Egs or Spirits alià s soules This Arme shall Cohobate all matters mightie Reserved are for me come all I 'l fight yee All upon one at once Monsters where be yee I 'm Hercules club too Ti-hee wi-hee The Don lifted the end of his Launce and gave him two such blowes on the back Laesa patientia fit furor This contempt was so high that in all the books of Errantry I meet not any Relation to match it withall No Squire ever took that liberty which Sancho did to deride his Knight to the face and by a looser carriage to affront him to the nose but nothing was so distastefull at present as the unmannerly and reproachfull wide opening of his mouth whereby the Squire did manifest to the world that he had a better set of Teeth then his Lord so that the abuse being triple to his face in generall and his nose and teeth in particular the punishment should have been answerable and hee should have basted him from head to taile Now it is a great Dispute amongst Martiall men whether this Launce Bastinado for it cannot be called an Encounter did dis-Squire Sancho that is Cashiere him In the truth of the state I doe believe it did but by the consequence of the story finding his Repentance so suddaine and his submission so exemplary he may passe in Errantry for a Squire Reformado But you may be sure that I will not once more unfold my lips to jest at your doings The Spaniel the Spaniel What a deale of love and service a good whip and a Bell procure The Orders and Rules of Errant-Squires are not here related though in the secrets of the Manchegaâ— Registrie at this day they are to be found What Distances Equipage what Approaches Smiles Shrugs Habits are sutable with them and requirable from them How qualified he ought to be that enters himselfe Squire to a Knight-Errant and what Services I mean of Chivalry hee must perform
which at first was bound for Pence and cannot get out under paiment of Pounds the expence of the Prison and the Keepers Fees and Rent-money for the liberty of the Rules without Rule extending beyond the Libertie of the People even to Constantinople where those that live under the Turk are more kindly us'd then those that live under Jewes at home mercilesse Jaylers and hungry Wardens who fleece the sheep brought to their Pounds worse then a Wolf a Lamb. But Gines after his Captivity ended for he did Passe a Jew in slavery never out a whole seven years together so that he reckons his life by the Iustra of his Imprisonments the first five of his Innocency and Infancy going for nothing so that he hath plai'd at fives excellently well and his Quinquatria of once every fifth year in the Gallies or some place of like eminence except before excepted render him according to the Spanish and his own account trigesimo aetatis which if he had been guilty of so many crimes in England would have been Gregorian which is a just Account indeed but very killing The Commissarie held up his rod to strike Molops our insulting Officer is incens'd the Tyranny of such Superiors is intolerable and when the State hath taken the Will-liberty of his hands and feet from him these will deprive him of his naturall freedome if it were possible they would muzle his mouth but Gines is mumm'd presently he saw it was but a Word and a Blow and it was better and more selfe-preservingly done to leave him to the Sarcasmes of his Book then by a shoulder-experience to have learnâ—d how to write a literall invective against him But see the Valour of these Brutes not much unlike the victory of Aeneas and a fellow-Deity to boot upon a simple woman as Dido is pleased to call her selfe though she doubled I believe with one of those Deities Egregiam vero lâ—udem spolia ampla tulist is Tuque puerque tuus magnum memorabile nomen Una dolo Diâ—ûm si faemina victa duorum Which for the honour of â—ines and the perpetuall stigma of such Barbarous Custodes let it speak English thus What glory may be in the Victory found If a loose Devill beat a Prisoner bound It seemes to me a rigorous manner of proceeding to make slaves of them whom God and Nature hath made free How farre this freedome or exemption from punishment is disputable tenable or otherwise hath not by any Defenders of the Liberty been yet shewne For Don Quixot who seemes at the instant very much to Patronize the cause of these contra Legem Naturae enthralled doth at other times very highly tyrannize and gave Sancho his friend Sancho Townes-borne Children and of the better Face of equall sufferings but for doing the work of Nature I meane not that of Disenteration but of laughing such a blow upon his free-borne shoulders that if he had not been a laughing-stock indeed the blowes had confounded him but here he is for freedome and anon for Distance Observance Reverence However the Theme was sweet and the Rhetorick pleasing and findes more Beleevers then experienc'd souldiers and therefore Don Quixot's Oration was received as Caesars at the passe of Rubicon when his speech against the insulting covetous Faith-breaking Senate was applauded by the whole Army and the Countries where he came crying out Downe with the Senate downe with them Long live the people of Rome and the Liberties of the Commons all this while crying down that Authority and not knowing what would succeed or whether uni Caesari multos Marios whether Q. Elizabeths or Maries dayes were better which is worst to endure Fire or Sequestration Goe on the way good Sir and settle the Bason right on your head What touch our Helmet touch it with so high indignity as to call it a Bason 'T is a Defiance which presently amounted to a Tournament a Tournament to an Over-turne that to a Dismount which happened upon the first Barriers where low lies the Commiâ—â—arie and Don Quixot rides like Iupiter liberator guilty of a Rescue and Sancho Paâ—ca who all this time through feare of the Guard Lawlesse and Witlesse suspecting Victory that she would play the Jade and not keep the same side still was auxiliary to the slaves and the fettery Hand-Cuffs of Gines Passamont and all his Iron-work lopp'd off and the Cord of Amity and Friendship of his Fellowes broken they all as now in Duty they stood loose took part with their Rescuer or Restitutor Qnixot and so pelted the guard that they had very hard pay for their Convoy and glad to retreat they left the Prisoners to Don Quixot Master of the Field and Lord of Six which he counted a Sexcenturio And imagining himselfe Generalissimo he thus makes his Oration to his new-form'd Army Don Quixot's Oration to the Slaves Redeemed Quirites Gentilemen Souldiers all And fellow Souldiers too such I you call Such is your Generals meeknesse Free-borne Blades And made Free-Blades by Me from hungry Trades Tugging at Oares or digging in the Mines For wealth and Oare he ne'r enjoyes that findes Made capable to feed your selves not eat The pittances of Madam Garrupes meat Dry'd Eeles and th' Eeles skins for digestion Poore Iohn and what that is 's a question Stock-fish and Haberdine and splitted Hakes Dry'd Sprats Cockles Dog-fish and Sun-dry'd Cakes What is that thing your Emperor shall aske What is it that you 'll think too great a taske Methinks I heare Gines Passamont require Where my commands will be through Water Fire Or over Mountains or down steepy Rocks Or if againe we shall binde on these Locks From whence your power hath newly loos'd us wa Shall be more proud of such Captivity Then any freedome of our owne 'T is so Once more then on your Necks these Laces throw Once more in Chains but never after this You must be Pilgrims to my Queen of blisse Dulcinea of Toboso Lady bright Bright as the Stars black-mantled all in night Her and Toboso's Pallace having found Humble your selves and click your Chains to th' ground Tell her you are Don Quixots Freed-men tell That he hath ransom'd you from death and Holl From Furies and things worse tormentative Devills incarnate that you are alive It is the Guerdon of his Armes and Lance Which Masters all when it doth once advance Say you besides with a most signall grace Thus spake the Knight of the Ill-favour'd Face And kissing thrice the ground rise from the place Gines Passamont answered for all the rest sayingâ— Gines Passamont's Reply to his Emperour Then Passamont i' th' name of all the rest Bowing his body as became him best Honour'd Releaser said Command what is Fecible and not impossibilities How canwe all in such procession go The Holy Brothers ranging to and fro And all wayes laid to take us for th' escape And Hues and Cries in every Village gape Not that I Lightning or fell Thunder feare
were very well satisfied Such a dish now hot in the Plaine where Don Quixot acted more then the Knight of the Naked Arme would have put an end to the play and all the bitter usage of Dulcinea would have been forgot in a Lethe of settle-braine wherein if they had slic'd some of the leafes of the two books wrote de veritate amongst the chippings it might have been enough to reduce him without the neat designe of Dorothaea to his naturall temper from having ever any credence in lying Romances Dorothaea said that shee would counterfeit the distressed Lady better then the Barber The Barber might have done much if he had his wife to attire him and set him out in Ladies combings but I doe not think shee would ever have let him shav'd off his Mustachoes for the matter it being the only hold she had for his haire of his head was but thinne when shee found occasion to pull him to her pleasures or from the Alchouse to his paines Let him be honest Oxen-sterne the Lady Nicomiconas servant with the checquer'd Beard which signified much feare in him or from him Pray Heaven the Don in his rambling fancy take him not for Cacus the Gyant that robb'd those honest men the Grasiers and cozen'd Polyphem the Monophthalmos and Gyant of the single Eye drawing politiquely his Cattle backward to his owne Cave so that Polyphem tracking their stepâ— to the donne could find nothing but hoofes revers'd from the Cave A hundred to one but he hits on 't and takes this long pendent on his chin for some glew'd on Trophie of his beastly victories If he should hanck upon it there 's like to be no quietnesse without a Rumpe to the taile And through the great Fame which is spread over all Guinea of the Lords Prowesse this Princesse is come to finde them out Sancho replyed what that fat and plentifull Kingdome whence the Guiny Pigs come doth this Lady with her selfe submit to my Don O Mary Gutierez live and be fat and let thy Children all be fatlings those pretty Guiny Pigs-nies shall live about thy bed-chamber and thou shalt lie upon thy pallat and call to thy cook-maid and say dresse me that Squeeker for my breakfast I 'll eat it before I rise and the rest of the litter shall be small Musick to me while I feed it shall be so Mol and fell a capering as if he had one in his belly But Mr Curate told him these Guinea Pigs which he meant were Shelves of gold melted refin'd and made into wedges Pigs and Bars that Mary Gutierez and her whole family could not lift one from the ground One of these would buy the Manchas Hogge-heards whole drove Dams and all My master hath no kinde of power over Spirits The Don could never worst any thing that had a Spirit The Windemils had a Spirit that threw my Mr in Confagum Lunae as they say and he was never in his wits since Certainly he was toss'd or carried beyond the temperate Regiment of the aire among the blust'ring thund'ring and fiery boyes for ever after he despis'd Land encounters he smelt my thought as if he had been sing'd at his fall or of somewhat of a hot aire So that great Queen for this businesse of Guinea if you have not a man of Spirit in it he will make no more to conquer it then he would to eat an Orenge though his stomack is sharp enough at present without any Incentives Lady he shall destroy all except the Pigs with which your Dominions abound May you and my Lord people it from your owne Loines againe all but that part of the Dominion which you bestow upon you humble â—ut doughty servant Sancho Panchas of the Mancha and my Lady Moll shall serve your Highnesse not amongst the maides of Honour but chiefe Princesses of your Kingdome in the office of holding up your traine or the cloose stoole wherein shee is very tendable and handy I have more of the litter if you please to grace 'um but when I and Moll shall come to feed on Pigs we shall multiply beyond the rate of the creatures we eat and have subjects of my own begetting of my owne loines in such a number that it will be fit for your Highnesse to transplant them for Colonies and send them into the wide world for a living Thus is the fool transported taking Mr Licentiat for the Queen and out of apprehension of he knows not what he talks to he knows not whom At last they discovered him amongst a company of intricate Rocks all apparell'd but not Armed Sancho was to blame 〈◊〉 let his Mr be thus surpriz'd without his Armes on his long pennance having withdrawn his body from the full extension of his clothes many a handfull so that he look'd as if he had been in a sack or a scarcrow rather then a man So improper an oversight was never committed by a Squire of the body Insomuch thaâ— the Don in the beginnings of his adventures providently would not suffer his Armes to be all taken off when he repos'd but slept in the Helmet To unmartiall the whole man and leave him without steel or iron upon him is as if you should pare the nailes of a Lyon strip a Beare of her skinne rob a Fox of his taile dishonour a Cock of his spurrs That is to Caponize the gallant spirit of the Creature and to render him lesse formidable to his Antagonists A Knight-Erraâ—t without Armes on credentne posteri I will not answer you a word nor heare a jot of your affairs Faire Lady quoth Don Quixot untill you arise from the ground It is much that he is not on his Knees too for he was scarce able to stand on his Legs which if his Arms had been on had not been so visibly flexible for the Don through weaknesse bow'd ever and anon and recompens'd her kneeling with continuall unavoydable cringes which made him appeare the most courtly Knight upon the earth The case was plaine for he was not able to raise her up with his hands but she expected his gracious word of mouth which was stronger alwaies then his Armes or Legs and promised a great deale more I doe give and grant it quoth Don Quixot so it be not a thing that may turn to the damage or hinderance of my King or Country c. A very loyall exception Three obligations which he had forfeited over and over and yet to see the tendernesse of his Conscience in a point which he so often violated This faithfull lover of his Prince is under privy search of the Holy Brotherhood for the rescue of his Majesties slaves sent to the Gallies The Country was full of hues and cries for the adventure of the sheep which his Manchegan Farme would not satisfie The Helmet of Mambrino was the poor Village-Barbers goods which he took to arrest him for as he past the Towne the present subsistance which Sancho his Receiver and Treasurer had were
courage He shall thy rich and vast Dominions forrage And put thee unto flight Wherefore begone Nicomicona from Micomicon Let him a while usurp thy rights which are To be be regain'd by a great Knight from far Then reaching out a book of Characters This book saith he directs and never errs Thou must deer soule believe the mystick signes For thy redemption coucht in these dark lines With all the speed thou canst for Spaine Once there Report will ring thy rescuer to thy eare And as I guest upon a leafe he wrote His name Aco-te sure or Don Hy-hot False memory A Knight of stature high By nature wrought and form'd for victory Of swarfy look but yet condition milde Except when just adventures make him wild Moreover my learned Father did condole A marke the Knight had 't was a mighty mole Which had it grown above his grizly chin No Knight like him for Errantry had been But on his sturdy shoulders left right side There is this mark of honour to be spied And which his strength and fortunes plaine doe shew Haires on the mole like bristles thick doe grow Sancho leaped at the word above the rise of Jack-pudding in a Morrice dance and said O Queen O King thou art the man thou art the man For when you were great Sr in the naked part of your Pennance I saw to my great joy I saw this mole-hil and the bristles growing on them and being you were hog-backt you must needs have more of them about you which shews that you shall not only fetch your enemies over the lefâ— shoulder but if need be your selfe is able if you shoot out the naturall Artillery of your body to be as mischievous as an Italian with his venom'd shaft under cloak As you stood in the field naked between two trees I took you for a turnepike I saw so many of these Molehils and sharp Speares about you that if you had but rusht and flurted like a Turky cocke I should have been afraid of dying no other death then by the shooting of your quils through me Nicomicona proceeds These things discovered which my Father told Which my abusive braine could hardly hold And thaâ— your name most Noble Quixot hits So neer to those of my mistaken wits And reading in your lookes no common matter The front 's a glasse that will not easily flatter There needs no more Certificates I 've seen Happy the houre him that will make me Queen The Knight ordain'd by stars for this design Methinks I doe already count all mine And that Pandafiland of the dark sight Is by your valiant hand depriv'd of light His head cut off the cause of all uproars And in a trophy as was once the Bores Born before Bevis carried on a Pole Wheresoe'r Don Quixot moves Thus take the whole Of what my Father shew'd Beside he wrote In languages not understood a jot By me as Chaldee or Greek Character As those that knew the meaning did averre That if the Knight of this grand Prophesy After the Gyant slaine his Armes laid by Should burne with gentle heat and soft desire And love shall kindle in his bones a fire That could not but by me extinguish'd be I should incline to 's sute and make him King And with my loved selfe give every thing What thinkest thou of this friend Sancho Transported Don is rais'd a pinne or two above his judgement and carried by strong imagination and an ambitious minde He supposes his worke done before it is begun the enemy slaine the Queen restor'd himselfe inaugurated and naturalliz'd on a Black his Royall Robes on and the glittering Ensignes of his men State and dignity borne before him and himselfe to be acknowledged by conjunction with the Queen lawfull King of Micomicona during her life nor is Sancho behind him for a Pigeon both deluded commit equall errors The Don is indeed a more thoughtive inward close and conceal'd Cocksome Sancho open and in this point irrecoverably cosen'd untill the sad Catastrophe shews the Play to be a jig all mockery and mirth In the mean time Sancho's a Player and Acts a Lord. Thus Sancho makes fine Dorothy a Queen Kissing her hand that untill now was cleane So only fit to doe him grace her word Is his Commission for a future Lord. I will say no more it is not possible that ever I may induce my selfe to marry another though shee were a Phaenix A brave recoyle upon his Soule and the very secret of it displaid in a sentence It is not beauty proportion gamesomenesse majesty affability that are the objects of every ones love For we see men as wise Don Quixot to make election choose neither faire nor comely women and yet find sufficient ground even in their Persons to be taken pleas'd and contented And there are those that have the choisest pieces for exquisite feature on earth married even to the envy and neighing of every one that sees them and these singular objects of Love meet not with constant and reciprocall heats If the face be the first atâ—ractive that like the day is eclips'd and not seen not admir'd Many Aâ—â—â—nes after the heyday of the blood is over are left miserably to the 〈◊〉 and woods their spouses inveigled by such dross and dunghill Persoâ—s that no clean thing will touch ' um Some undergoe Penelopes long time of Melancholy and spinning whilst their seduced Husbands are fool'd into a farre Country by some Dalila's that had tryed most of her own and there lose life Concubine fortunes and all What should any man see in a whore to affect her more then a wife unless he suspects his own to be so nay it hath been the captivity of some mens affection to accept and make their own Incumbencies tri'd and known reversions 'T is better to shoot at rovers then when you have chose a standing mark to play at random Dons thoughts are fixt and what ever it was that caught his prying and understanding heart it could be no unworthy thing unlesse his love was like the others no love in the Epigram Non amo te Sabidi nec possum dicere quare Hoc tantum possum dicere non amote è Converso I love Toboso and I know not why Only I say I love her whimsyly Text proceeds The refusall of the Phaenix is an irrefragable signe of his constancy which made Sancho chatter like a Jay That which Don Quixot said disliked Sancho so much as he lift up his voice with great anger What despise a Phaenix O Owle hast thou only kept company with Bats Buzzards Beetles in this long retirement in the Desert are you of a feather It is blindnesse obstinate blindnesse you shut up your eyes against the Phaenix of the Times indeed made brighter by the ashes of affliction and hunt after Mice and vermin Onâ— glote of the Queens eye is more pleasant lovely and bewitching then if Dulcinea should cast her heart up which would iâ— were out rather then
Kettle-pins Noddy-boards Tables Truncks Shovell-boards Fox and Geese or the like He taught his bullies to drink more Romano according to the number of the letters in the errant Ladies name Clodia sex Cyathis septem Justina bibatur The pledge so followed in Dulcinea del Toboso would make a house quickly run round No such Lure as drinke and sports to bring any businesse about A Gentleman distress'd for want of labourers it seems hiâ—'d out before knew not how to inne his Harvest wherefore he sent for a couple of Bearehoods and proclaiming a free accesse to that sport the worke-men from all places came thither and by that meanes with his brewings of Beer and Brewin the Bear he got his worke done and yet every day did play Mine Host hath another benefit by his books or his wife rather for it seems he was a fiery cholerick man and the book was her security as long as he was reading shee was at quiet a very good recipe for either sex that are troubled with the Alarum of the tongue Romances may be very well read by women in such cases and not as Maritornes the fousty slattern made use of them to defile her braines with the conceit of embracing a Knight under an Orâ—nge Tree what a Lemman should he have of her Good Mrs Ursula how sweet these things are to her as Hony O for the sting in the raile to let her know that sweet meat must have sowre sauce The Hostesses daughter is also smitten but dislikes the blows that are given shee cannot indure severing the head from the body Those indeed were down-right but shee was for a by-blow Peace quoth the Hostesse for it seems thou knowest too much of those matters and it is not decent that maidens should know or speak so much The daughters of those mothers who have been in the oven are forward and understandable of womens matters sooner then other children The egs that are hatcht in an oven bring forth spirituous chickens and they commonly prove of the game Mine Hostesse and her daughter were as like as one egg to another and like Mrs like maid too Maritornes serv'd the Carriers if they pleas'd the best sort The rebuke might very well have been spar'd for in that compellation of Mayden it concern'd not her The old dame was fearfull shee should too much lay open secreta Domus especially the Lady being present whose super-eminent gracious aspects recall'd a little modesty into their impudent breasts My young inheritrix of the Inne would not have any man call her Tigre or Lyon shee was gentle as a Lamb or a Cow with stretcht Udders and this pliantnesse she had partly by nature partly by example from her mother whom she thought it religion to follow though it were to the Devill Gaudeant beâ—è nati Defleant malè nati Where much salt is Pigeons will frequent and they are Venus's birds Cats have hot ingendrings and where the conceptions are fiery the Kittens will be elemented alike 'T is that fire that salvolatile which makes them of so strange agility and in conclusion as the English Proverbe hath it what is bred in the bones will not easily out of the flesh Romulâ—s was cruell from the wombe the Woolfe with her milk conveighing her nature too Wherefore it is not good to give female infants Goats milke that is not to suffer ranc'k frowy and hairy nurses to suckle 'um what the mother hath conferr'd is not curable by Physick the mischiefe being scatter'd through the very Principles of Nature and no more to be discovered then Materia prima and as the learned Pliny saith Morbi sicut alia legantur Dropsies Gowts Palsies Epilepsies and most diseases are as haereditable from our Parents as their estates So their vices also especially those ab utero derivata For partus sequitur ventrem and I never read that ever a Messallina brought into the world a Lucreece Would you quath the Hoste burne my Books In good time my wife first if shee were in a scolding fit These books Sir they are the caemenâ— of my company the glew that holds them all together they draw more then my signe or any thing I have within except the Tapster Our mother the Church is never blemish'd by them nor his Catholike Majesty nor his Hâ—linesse at Rome and why should any man seek to burne such Books which keep up Society and Ladyes untill midnight if the Gentileman read eâ—phatically and finely to them they inflame men and women and put true spirits into us besides it is a great helpe to Printers and Book-sellers who dare venture upon nothing that is serious and true these being innocent pastimes and other works dry and fitter for the fire Consider also that they are great helpes to such hoâ—ses as ours though but few in the world beside my selfe of my function I think can read such hard names as are in these volumes How Mr Traquitantos of the Commarke of St Lucrees You must suffer me a little to digresse and make it known to you that there are men of your profession in other parts of the world who have read as good Romances as these and have thence so furnisht themselves with invention upon all occasions that they scorne to turne to a book when they would make their guests merry but out of their owne sparkling forges have found delight and pleasance for the whole time of their stay were it a week long And I shall give you a tast of the prâ—gnancies of those Inne-keepers where I or my friends have fortun'd to travell a little to prick the swelling of the bladder In Bellosyte of the Dâ—luin are rare acuminate quick and phantasticall blades of your employment that have hundred witty Remoras for their guests which they cannot escape for the frequency of them nor dislike them for the invention One of them having some guests that lov'd Larks said I will fit you with such a service of Larks as you never heard of the like before how Landlord quoth the Gentlemen what part of the skie proves your net that you have such heavenly food The Inne-keeper soberly as his custome was replied gentlemen The Larks come not to me by miracle nor doe I take Quailes for Larks But these birds my servants catch indeed the rarity is their tast as you will find at supper for marke me Gentlemen in and neer the Fields where these pretty warblers resort I my selfe set Garlike and Onyons which the birds feeding on have such a naturall Hogou that no French Artizan is able to make a higher but for fashion sake there needs no sawce and it is alwaies disht severall that the Larks grand tast may be found to be from its selfe nor is this all the vertue that comes from my device for Gentlemen be confident t is true I have preserv'd of the young ones and train'd them up to sing and they have learn'd instantly but then by reason of this opening food which I alwaies
to his teeth that the Gyant was two wine bags Foole said the Don they were the Gyants two wine-pipes for he had every thing double but his head and that doubled with us two But the Host commanded silence the Don proceeded and embold'ned the Lady to slight her Negromancing Father and reply upon his armes for restitution Si Pergama dextrâ defendi possent etiam hâc defensafuissent The Queen aâ—swered with a very good grace and countenance on this manner Coram quam suspicis adsum Who hath endeavoured Heroick Sir to rob me of my person my State mine Honour and what is most tender to me your good opinion of me I am all the same except this misconstruction and my expectancies as high of your performances as ever Drive home Sir your great designe and mine and I shall accompany you unto the journies end To you I attribute these beginnings of my joy these Noble friends who never had set eye on me but that your name like a Land-Mark guided them to this Inne Give leave most sufficient Knight that these may be joy'd witnesses of your great actions they shall not need to lend a hand to your assistance the fame of your motion and approaches to the place will be a terrour to your enemies and halfe the Victory the rest submission only some few excepted Persons who will stick to the Gyant in that memorable battle wherein you are to gain me what I long desir'd and your selfe eternall fame which you deserve Don Quixot having heard her turn'd him to Sancho with very manifest tokens of indignation O unpolisht Knight not so much as an obeisance or the bend of Mambrino's Helmet to the Queen after her so eminent and clawing Oration But fury doth transport him and choler against his Squire hath wholly invenom'd his spirits which are as fiery now as they were dasht before Now he will vanquish all Gyants Knights Monsters and Squires in the person of Sancho in saeculae saeculorum One emanative blow shall transfuse it selfe vigore impulsu agentis unto the right eares of all lying Squires in the world who being call'd to the proofe of the sence not reason of this chastisement shall find for the Don that they had aflation on the right cheek and justice themselves worthy of Cuffs a piece for their paines Good my Lord replyed Don Quixot I doe highly gratisie the honour that is done me Marke now who is more Courtier then the Don who fairer or more mealy-mouth'd then the Knight of the Ill-favour'd face words I 'll promise you very shrewdly plac'd and to good advantage for the trepidations about the rescue of the slaves were not off the Don nor Sancho neither and a friend in Court is better then money in Purse This was a sure Proverb with the Don and much of his direction Now thoughts of action are laid aside and the Don too for a while Roome for fresh Gamesters here is a Chesse-board to my Hosts Noddy-board Moores and Xtians A pure white and a black Knight and Lady that lack A Lodging for a night a E'n shuffle together A Ewe and a Weather And have the same delight-a Don himselfe he will watch That no harme doe you catch What ever him betides-a But O the mischance The sluts force him to prance And on his feet to ride-a O behold how he hangs In most pittifull pangs A sullen Ladies Martyr Yet grinning honour wins And drops downe from his ginns Knight of the hempen Garter Our Great Don 's in a noose Who will the Knight loose The Wenches have no mercy Vpon Hecate call To night-Mare and Hag all Or make 'um Sow's O Circe The Stories of the Moor and Captive as that of the curious Impertinent I shall strive to equall by the like where a Christian Lady fals in Love with a handsome youth and follows him through many dangers being enforc'd to try her womans wits to compasse him But the Don a while will deprive you of the tale being very highly taken up with a discourse of Learning most unhappily seizing his head when he should have put bread into it in collation Time A thing very few Scholars or Souldiers are guilty of So that by the practise of those Professours the Don should have little correspondence or interest in either yet in his owne person he seem'd to be compacted of both His Man-like dreadfull and Ill-favour'd Face render him a sonne of Bellona his lank Barebone sides a sonne of Minerva wherefore he undertakes both parties though with a resolution to vilify and undervalue Learning Behold the wise politick and Learned Vlysses and the rash stout and magnanimous Ajax bound up in one Don Quixot and a Theatre of Knights Lords and Ladies with a crowd of Clownes Cockscombs and other Auditors all assembled to heare who shall winne Achilles Armour It had been very well for the Don if that such a prize had been at stake for his owne Armes were most pittifully batter'd antique and rusty But here was no reward for his Oratory go it how it would only empty praise yet successe in Armes as he promised to himselfe in the design for the Kingdome of Micomicona might raise him to a fortune few Souldiers of Fortune arrive unto But I feare this wit-Combate will prove a drawne battell and neither Scholar nor Souldier get any thing by the contention However the Don's Rhetorick Pro and Con will delight you to whom speculations of this nature were meat drinke and cloth Surgit ad hos Dominus male fractâ Casside Quixot CHAP. XI Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou goe Thy Brother wanderer is turn'd thy foe O simple Knight O Dulman Ignoramus Wer 't not for Scholars how came you so Famous What are your Castles Ladies and your fightings Inventions only and the spawne of writings Search all the Mancha all the World o'r look No Quixot will be found but what 's i' th' book Quixot Contra Artes. Proh Jupiter inquit Ante rates Causam mecum confertur Ulysses O Jove what have I liv'd to see Any wise thing compar'd to me THey seem not to understand well great confluence of Queens Princes Peeres Knights Squires Ladies Clergy and Commons who knew not that Minerva or the great Goddesse Pallas is equall Goddesse of Arts and Arms and that the Purple of the Field as well as the schooles the green Lawrell of the Barre and the gilded Lawrell of the Standard are both her Donatives Largesses and rewards and though shee appeare as often Armed as in her Candid and pure Robe yet these men of the Quill very much ingross her to themselves and will allow us men of the blade a very small or no share in her Something indeed it is they say that Shee her selfe being the off-spring of Iupiters braine Sine Matre Filia they may lay greater claime to her because all their labour is opus Cerebri the sweat of the Pericranium a little noddle intention or headache perchance which
when they have hammer'd it out they call it Sapientia and by this meanes would shuffle us from Ioves Head to his Thighes where he preferv'd a young plumpe Godling call'd Bacchus after the death of his Mother Semela from him they say we have an interest in Iove but remov'd and by that meanes have cozen'd us of a yard of Iupiter at least and having procur'd a Numen for us say from Bacchus the God of Wine and consequently of quarrels our profession at first sprung 'T is true that the Cradle of our Deity they will allow us was the strength of his Father but what will they make only foot-ball players of us they shall finde it contrary or if it be so that the ball is the world and we carry it upon our Toes before us Another argument they have from the nine Muses who all of them seem except some one pittifull whiner Melpomene to be their Patronesse and that Apollo when he is an Archer is not President of the Company O Generations of fictitious mynters who knows not that Apollo is a Deity Errant and runs o'r the World once in 24 houres slew the great Dragon Pyâ—hon which was the leading adventure to all ours and would have relieved the Lady Daphne but that he was inchanted into a Bay Tree yet though he could not winne her he doth weare her in signe of his true affection about his browes for ever Out of the number of the nine Muses they have excluded our Goddesse Indignation and Eris which themselves say are Poeticall Facit Indignatio versum Those are verses now with stings in their tailes Lycambaean Poetry lines will make their subject hang themselves And they have thus cheated the world with the height and antiquity of their originall they thinke to o'rcome us with numbers too laying clayme to all Merchants Pylots Sea-men Architectours Masons Carpenters Shipwrights as their alumni things that live out of the Mathematicks Then they bring Fidlers Barbers Harpers Dancing Mrs Singing men Choristers Ballad singers Coblars and Plowmen the heires of Musick and then a Regiment of Factors Scriveners Usurers Vintners Tapsters Cookes Writing-Masters Almanack-makers Fortune-tellers Surveyours Brewers Clerks Bakers and all Tally-men marching under the account of Arithmetick To these they joyne Historians Poets School-Masters Divines Advocates Attourneys and Solicitours Book-sellers Printers all of them are most dependant upon Grammer Rhetorick and Logick so that by their good wils they will not leave a man for Armes unlesse he be a Porter a Vagrant or a decaid Gentleman Bankrupt a Waterman or journy men Taylors who yet contend mightily to be under some of the seven Sciences though not as they are liberall Shoomakers pretend to a Gentle Craft too but honest kill-Cow he is ours The Butchers are not deny'd us though they are not allow'd to be de Iure Pacis they are de Iure Belli This one profession is enough for our worke to cleave such a company of Calves-heads as they have muster'd up together Another thing they object that their paines exceed those of the Souldier by how much spirituall or mentall paines transcend corporall Indeed the School-Masters paines is somewhat and the scholars under him more but that is all corporall Huc ades haec animo concipe dicta tuo A very faire invitation to a poor Commons which ends most commonly in lachrymae or a Parce precor Posthâc aeternùm versificabor Is that animo concipere Truly the School-Masters and Tutors whether at the Universities or at home are most necessary instruments in a Common wealth for without the seeds of knowledge reading and writing understanding the principles of learning the rule and direction to higher matters whether in Armes Law Physick or Divinity no man could serve his Prince or be usefull to the places where he was bred These men that thus discipline and traine up our youth in civill behaviour decency good manners and knowledge are men worthy of double honours that is stipend and reward yet you need not be at two charges for it of a Ruling School-Master and a Teaching School-Master it all being the excellency of one man The Government and discipline of the School instils as much as the Masters presence and instruction And it were to be wish'd that Parents Guardians and others whom it concernes would reflect upon the men of this condition with as good an eye of favour as on those especiall Officers of the Hawkes and Hounds which appurrenances to great Families commonly are gratified in a better sort per annum for the training of a whelpe or making a Hawke then the other professours are for educating a son and fitting him for the World A decrepit Huntsman or Falconer may have a quietus and goe with a Coppy-hold or some small annuity when after the polishing and preferring of a hundred Scholars successively a School-Master shall have only his punctuall Minervall and so leave him to his Mill to weary out his life like a Horse with continuall exercise forgot alike by Parents and Scholars unlesse it be a Seneca or an Aristotle whose scholars were very able men and Souldiers Alexander and Nero Yet this latter wish'd a Nesciisset Literas the knowledge of Armes being more sutable to a Prince then books And Alexander lov'd Aristotle and admit'd him but followed the Camp and left him to his Parva naturalia Caesar also was a great Souldier and Scholar and I only wish my selfe more learned then I am for the commendations given of him he wrote with the same Genius that he fought Now were Don Quixot so inabled what Comments would the World have of his adventures and how plausible The Arcadia would be laid by Polenander set aside and only Don Quixot would be the studdy and delight and taking Legend with all that love Armes or to Arme Ladies And for this very end only I can admit of some small familiarity with learning for it did highly inflame me to read well worded and in expressions answerable to their actioâ—s the Famous Wars of King Pippin the Gyants and the Gods and Hercules besides Fleximart Don Gateer and D' Amadis which I have at my fingers ends But otherwise for Learning it is a meer cheat and the grand Professours like Sooth-sayers laugh one at another The Grand Signior and Souldier of the World allows of no Learning Plato banish'd Poets out of his Common-Wealth and how many now adaies run up and downe the World having all things in their heads but bread It had been better to know nothing then to know want yet they will answer him in some stoicall sentence 't is better to know how to want then want knowledge Enjoy the Paradox good Pincht-Belly while I shew the men of the times men of the first times in these last men of gold who came not into the World to be serv'd last or starv'd at last Arma tenenti Omnia dar qui justa negat He that a sword hath got Commands the Pottage pot Vivitur
but he must have had many motions before the starting of this question by reason of the continuall joggings of the Cart which is very provoking both to Urine and siege and happily Sancho following close to the Cage must smell out the condition his master was in and therefore cunningly puts the question in the Dieureticall instance which was not so evident and so bewraies all the whole businesse And though hence he cannot enfeeble the Don's reason for his Inchantment yet he doth absolutely conclude that he is in a wofull pickle and it necessarily followed that the Cage must be undone or the Don. CHAP. XXII Iust as imprison'd windes when once broke forth One against the other raiseth East West North And dripping South So doth the Don let loose His prisoners which too long had been kept close The whistling ratling thundring and bombizing All at intestine wars in one Horizon Which vext the Knight unto the guts till set At liberty they poyson all they met Another purge the Canon administers Hoping by reason and his learned clysters To bring those vapours from his head but reason Against Romances still was out of season To burne his Library it was in vaine Or carry him to the Mancha back againe Vnlesse you first took out and wash'd his braine In this pat time now th' moon and he 's i' th' Waine TEXT BVT those that have a desire to eat meat when they can get it and drinke when it is given them c. Besides the present necessities the Don lay under which by the often drawing in of his breath twisting his legs and more ill favour'd faces then ordinary gave Sancho to perceive his condition very â—icturient and cacaturient He glances at the common wants of the erratick function which was extreame want of necessaries unto which the Knights were so accustomed and habituated that one famine would hardly famish them they being most dangerous fellows at a siege and able to hold out without the ordinary meanes of sustentation yet as appeares in the Text not men so obstinate and refractory that they despised or refused the helps of Nature and supplies of their preservation but they were hardy patient of hunger and thirst not troubled with canine appetites or the woolfe in their stomacks having no set-meales nor belly-clock but eating and drinking as often as provisions presented themselves so that dyet was a casuall thing and an accessory to their lives who were bred in Parthian education and had nothing until they could catch it So that Incantation could not properly be applyed unto them but a discommuning and frequent interdiction of the creature For if they did not free him or got further off he protested that he could not forbear to offend their noses Faire warning Guarda voauz He summons their olfactive forces before he will storme and desires them to an honourable surrender rather then to stand the hazard of so desperate a charge His amunition and artillery was ready Colon mounted and infinite of small shot provided for execution which through any of the breaches in the Cage would fall foule amonst them Hostages taken conditions agreed the Don is disincaged The first thing he did he went toward Rosinante and twice or thrice striking him on the Buttocks he said Although my inward pangs and deadly gutâ—croaks Sollicite the disrobing of my buttocks I cannot passe by these O beast reputed Above Bucephalus flanks unsaluted Idaea of all horses Modell of coursers Pray Heaven I ne'r am forc'd to stride a worser Nor Cyllarus his starre nor in the Wain Of Charles or Sunne is such a horse again Nor Persâ—â—s horse which people say is flying Flies like to this if any dangers nigh him Nor any horse under so sure command As Rosinante for a constant stand Squire let him loose or leave him to the Carter And help t' untrusse I 'm sure 〈◊〉 is no starter Whom if I once bestride againe I 'll on Though I come off like sunne-burnt Phaeton He said gentleman is it possible that the idle and unsavory Lecture of books of Knight-hood hath so much distracted your wit as thus to believe It is not Don Quixot's luck alone to pinne a belief on the credit and authority of other men for should he have presently replyed upon what grounds or proofe doe you Mr Canon justifie the numerous fardle of your Legends and the strange miracles done in them when you are not certeine that ever such persons were in the world nor are there any witnesses of the wonders said to be performed by them you fly to an Implicite faith in the Church or authors of them nor would you willingly have their auditors or converts question the truth of those otherwise suspected stories which you have made your selves first believe and then your disciples the Catalogue of the saints farre exceeding the Ephemerides of Knight-Errants and their actions are as far incredible as any of Amideses of Gaul or Greece beside the infinite number of reliques Baptists-heads pieces of the Crosse and nailes to susteine which not Ioseph of Airmathaea nor Aâ—las shoulders are sufficient As for the Crosse it is believ'd to be but one piece of timber nor would the Jewes who did all in disgrace of the blessed Patient make it of the best wood and yet you shall find many crucibles which we confide were snattocks of that very Crosse to be of Cedar some some of Juniper some of Cypresse some of Lignum vitae the type being Lignum mortis And whereas the nailes were but foure or five which were first canonized Hanibal had not more rings at the battell of Cannae then we can shew nailes of all sorts and sizes and so many Napkins that it will require a society of Linnen-drapers to furnish us with the Napery I desire but faire play that the Authors of my books may be believed to be the Authors of what they wrote as well as yours which granted can you imagine that men of their name and antiquity would spend so much time and study in composing lyes and putting cheats upon the readers You when all 's done can palliat your obtrusions upon the people with a Piae fraudes or Apocryphae fabulae which though they are not fundamentall truths yet they are inservient morall and significative helps to the end you aime at and all is salv'd See what wit is there in the world that can induce another to believe that the History of Guy of Burgundy and the Princesse of Florence was not true No doubt as true every tittle as that of Guy of Warwick and the Boare and the great defeats of the Gyant Colybrand whose statues are in brasse cast in Swethland and the cuts of them this day to be seen in the books so likewise men may if they be dispos'd to be merry seem to discredit the stories of Bevis of Southampton Iohn a-Green and Robin Hood but that the Cities wherein these men sometimes were famous in their Hals and publike
a beast would live Rosinant only envyed him this cushion who for the present wish'd to change places with him Thus you see the sad conclusion of this famous Knight who indeed deserv'd a more Sella Curulis but his vast knowledge in the miscarriages of his predecessors made him slight these present indignities For when he considered Marius in a Lake as good a place as Tom Turds field Orlando in Bedlam Amadis du Gaul in a Dungeon and he of Greece in shackles the Valiant Gataor forc'd to runne the Gauntlet the Knight of the Burning Pestle in Cornelius Tub and most of their Squires like Sancho indeed at the Carts taile but not like Sancho with his shirt on he play'd a little with the hay he sate upon the emblem of humane frailty and after that as if he eat it chopt he said nothing but this Non sum majoribus impar Which some thought he spoke alluding to Bajazet who was in this manner carried about by the insulting Tamerlane Others thought that he call'd to mind his Manchegall predecessors who were Plow-men and not disdaining the contemplation of his originals resolv'd to beginne that world againe and invert the Poem to Virgils Aeneids Ille ego qui quondam Mavortis terror in armis Ad patriam redeo ut parerent arva Colono Translated thus Since our design for Errantry is broke I 'll still subdue though Oxen under yoak Nor shall this Cage my vast ambition bound I 'll fall to plough and so I 'll tear the ground Sancho Panca ' s wife as soon as ever shee saw her husband askt whether the Asse were in health or no c. The question serving for both man and Master Sancho replyed to its double sence and saith the Animall was in the better condition of the two Sancho's eares were faln and this dishonourable returne crosse to all his hopes made him asham'd to see his wife as he might well who expected the title of a Queen at least but she is but Ione Pancha still 'T was well since it could be no better quoth Ione that he brought the Asse with him and the fool that rode him this night they will have an incounter and for more But of his end he could find nothing if good fortune had not offer'd to his view an old Physitian who had in his custody a leaden box c. Who this old Physitian should be is very hard to conjecture for he was a great Antiquary beside as will appeare by his delight in these monuments and rare reliques of the Don Unlesse it should be Iohn Dellues I know not whom he meanes For Iohn having liv'd famous throughout all Spaine for mighty cures at last fell sick and being neer his end some friend desir'd that he would not bury with him the meanes whereby he grew so eminent Iohn told his friend all that it was true a great fame liv'd with him and would follow him but for the criticall knowledge and successe in his cures it was thus He had a fortune Physick book wherein the names of most diseases were wrote and as Patients came for his opinion he withdrew for a season and in that intervall threw the dice and upon what disease the chance fell that was the patients sicknesse then he threw againe for the cures and accordingly followed those medicines on which the dice rested This was his directory for diseases and remedies which he made use of to his end and the end of many but the number of his cures surmounting his losses his bad casts went for nothing By this easie way of practice for illuminative and inspired physick he detested as also all counsels with other Physitians he had the more leisure for the enquiry into these old records and amongst many he at last happened upon those of the Mancha out of which he gathered some few Epitaphs Elegies and fancies upon Don Quixot Dulcinea of Toboso and in the praise of Rosinante and Sancho Pancha With which we shall conclude desiring you to doe the Don this last honour to see him in his urne and heare what is said over his ashes The End of the Fourth Book Knights Templers on the worthy Knight DON QUIXOTS Death AWakened from the round where we long lay Still men of Arms as you may see not clay We shake our weighty limbs and crested heads And would but for the grates rise from our beds Where we inchanted lye no more the talk 's Of us let Quixot's name fill up the walks Brother in Armes we will afford thee room Lye close Quixot's come We will dispence this Temple for thy Coarse We have another for thy famous Horse Knights of Jerusalem on DON QUIXOT SInce the long dayes of old Mathusalem No Knights so great as the Ierusalem The Knights o't'h Holy Warre untill the Don's Renowned acts out-cry'd us of St Iohns We ventur'd to redeem the Sepulchre From Pagan hands but lye in Angli-terre Our monuments are now defac'd our Cavernes And nothing left of us but signes of Tavernes But yet for all our injuries and wrongs Wee 'll find a place for thee neer justice Longs Where in the memory of thy strange fights Thumping and beating is both days and nights Duke Humphrey to DON QUIXOT VNtombed I a place to thee resigne Lye if thou wilt in the same ground was mine 'T will be small charge to thy Executor To raise a Tombe for there are stones good store Thy Votaries as they doe passe that way May fast as they did use where they please pray Long Meg of Westminster to Dulcinea of Toboso I Long Meg once the wonder of the Spinsters Was laid as was my right i' th' best of Ministers Nor have the Wardens ventur'd all this whiles To lay except my selfe one in those Iles. Indeed untill this time ne'r any one Was worthy to be Megs Companion But since Toboso hath so fruitfull been To bring forth one might be my Sister-twinne Alike in breadth of face no Margeries Had ever wider cheeks or larger eyes Alike in Shoulders Belly and in flancks Alike in legs too for we had no shancks And for our feet alike from heel to toe The Shoomakers the length did never know Lye thou by me no more it shall be common One I le of man there is this I le of woman Bancks his Horse to Rosinant THough Rosinante famous was in fields For swiftnesse yet no Horse like me had heels Goldsmiths did shoe me not the Ferri-Fabers One nail of mine was worth their whole weeks labours Horse thou of metall too but not of gold 'T was best 't was so or oft they had been sold Let us compare ouâ— sâ—ats thou top of Nowles Of hils hast oft been seen I top of Paules To Smythfield Horses I stood there the wonder I only was at top more have been under Thou like a Spanish Iennet got i' th' wind Wert hoysted by a Windmill 't was in kinde But never yet was seen in Spaine or France A Horse like Bancks his that toth ' pipe would dance Tell mony with his feet a thing which you Good Rosinante nor Quixot er could doe Yet I doe yield surpassed in one feat Thou art the only Horse that liv'dst sans meat The Aldermen of Gotam to Sancho Pancha O Doe not grieve although thy losse To lose a Lord not worth a crosse Be losse enough who now gone home is Unlikely e'r to keep his promise We hearing of thy great renowne Desire thee to o'r rule our Town You 'l find us easie to be rul'd People that will be must be fooll'd A sort of cockscombs cannot tell When we are ill nor when we 're well Full of mony full of pride And want an ebb to our long tide You need not bring your Asse with you You shall have Asses here enow VVe will make good your Don's intent And seat you in this government Sancho did seem to shift it off But when he had it once did laugh The Sexton of the Mancha on DON QVIXOT THE hardy Knight and sole That e'r liv'd under Pole Lyes buried in this hole He that i' th' aire did fly By windmill tâ—st on high Under a clod doth lye Hâ— that gave Ilands and Unto his Squire command Cannot stirre foot nor hand Here after all his tricks The bones are of Don Quix The rest is gon to Styâ— The same upon Dulcinea Del Toboso HEre in a hollow trunk Full deep in the earth sunk Lyes one above ground stunk Who saving her presence Had not been carried whence Shee dy'd but for offence Who having lost her Lord Abhorring and abhorr'd Dy'd of her owne accord O let her ashes rest Now shee is in her neast To stirre 'um is not best FINIS Cap. Jones Pag. 807. H. 8. Sentonce You must note that the sign was in Taurus and Gemini Tolosa * Dackins a fellow us'd to defile himselfe Turkish Paradise * Aesâ—ulapius Apollinie imberbâ—s barbatus fillus * Whose saying it was qui nescit dissimulare nescit vivere Alexander overheated with Greek wine â—lew his best Captaine and friend Ephaeâ—hon * Candaules the King of Lydia discovered the naked excellencies of his wife to his Favourite who made conscious to such a high secrecy never left plotting by his death till he made himselfe more private with his admired spectacle * Luscindas Letter * A man after he had subdued one beast * The Wittall prostitutes his wife to be wittee takeâ— possession * A wine vessell made of a hogs skin * Growt for great especially now under a swarme of Flyes Ephialtes is the Night-Mare but he was more troubled * with his horse by the Night * Lâ—quere ut iâ— videaâ— si vox possit esse perspiâ—ex Oculi 〈◊〉 vocales * Meaning a â—â—dy in the bed that would not suffer any strange Câ—ction The halfe moon is the grand Signior's Ensign and Badge * Selim. Emperour of the Turks * King of Argiers afterwards made admiral of the Turks whole Fleet by Selimus * Don Iohn of Austria King Philips Brother built it * 〈…〉 a Runnagaâ—â— from Venice taken prisoner by Vealli then Pyrat was after his death made King of Argiers * Certain pieces of base gold us'd among the Moors and are worth each of them ten Rials of Spanish money