Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language
speedy and safe Deliverance of a tenth Child a Daughter November 14. 63. Of this Child more hereafter God gave me a mercifull Deliverance in a difficult and hard Labour my eleventh and last Child a Son still-born May the first 1665. Lord I bless thee for my manifold Deliverances in these and all my straits I beseech thee inable me to render unto thee suitable returns of Praises and Thanksgivings Three of my Children were still-born which with the rest the Lord hath been pleased to take out of this Life I humbly hope and do believe are now happy in Heaven enjoying God to all Eternity SECT XI Of the Baptizing our Children THose of my Children whom God waâ— pleased to admit by Baptism into his visible Church on Earth I can truly declare and that without Hypocrisie whatever may be my censure that notwithstanding my present weakness in Childbed I made it my Practice to importune God for a Blessing upon his own Ordinance fitting my self for those Addresses as I thought most suitable to Prayer by getting up out of my Bed which I made haste to doe as soon as the Company which went to Church with my Child had quitted my Chamber which was always and most to my Satisfaction on the Lord's Day Lord this is for my Comfort and for which Practice I humbly bless thee and for the liberty of all thy Holy Ordinances and Priviledges by them And blessed be that God who styles himself a God hearing Prayer that he suffered not his Face to be sought in vain for all the Children who lived to any years of Knowledge gave very comfortable Evidences of their living up to their Baptismal Covenant as shall be accounted for when their Deaths are spoken of And upon this occasion of speaking of Baptism it brings to my mind what I hope I may without Prejudice relate to shew how impartially I write of her what I have heard her argue concerning the use of the Cross very modestly and prudently she had indeed no Bigotry for the outward appendages of Religious Worship yea was fearfull many lost much of the Substance by being over-fond of the Shadow Yet would she not run into the contrary Extream and she would say she wondred so many good People took offence at the sign of the Cross for said she though I know the Papists superstitiously abuse it and I fear some put more stress on it than they should or is designed or required by our Church yet their abuse of it should not prejudice the use of it as rightly understood which said she I take not to be intended as any part of the Sacrament nor to effect or produce any thing in the Child which it would want without it but to be a Memorial of our Saviour's Passion and the Shame and Pains he bore for us and whatever may put us in mind of these methinks should not be hardly thought on I should be partial here should I forbear to add her declared dissatisfaction at the imposing the whole charge in the Administration of Baptism on the Susceptors without including jointly at least one of the Parents for which with other Reasons she would rarely undertake the office of a God-mother and when she did own'd it as a Bond upon her Conscience to be strictly discharged SECT XII Her Care of the Education of her Children NExt to their Baptism properly follows her Prudent Pious Care in the Education of her Children that they might want no Accomplishments in this World she could assist their attainment of but especially to train them up in the true and early knowledge of Religion and Nurture and Fear of God And here I might write a Treatise larger than the whole Book without borrowing from any but only her Pen and Practice She considered Children as the nursery of Families the Church and Nation and that Errors in their Education were hardly Corrected ever after therefore she improved her utmost Diligence and Wisdom to teach them whilst young the way in which they should walk that when they were old they might not depart from it She accounted it not only an Indispensable Duty to be done but an high Honour to be intrusted by God with the care of bringing up a Child for him and she did not more truly travail in pain of them to bring them forth than she did to bring them up that Christ might be formed in them Without Vanity she was as compleatly qualified for this Performance as was possible to be desired or wished she was Mistress of her Needle to that degree that she would blame herself that she had spent so much time and industry to attain it in Worsted Silk and finest Thread for Poynt none exceeded her though they earned their Living by it And for Houshould-Imployment all that knew her wondred she could so soon attain such universal Dexterity and accomplished Skill in Country Affairs being bred and living most of her time in the City but she being of very quick natural Parts and close application of Mind to Business soon made herself Mistress of whatever she set herself to not only in what strictly concerned her Family-Inspection to direct and instruct her Maids in Cookery Brewing Baking Dairy ordering Linen in which her neatness was curious even to Excess and the like But in Physick Chirurgery to assist the Neighbours of the Parish and some Miles about which she performed Skillfully Readily and with great Success as they acknowledge by their grief for her loss and the Furniture of her Closet still will witness which she left furnished better than many Country Shops and also in Preserving making all sorts of English Wines Gooseberry Curran Cowslip Quince c. and whatever else was curious to entertain and please her Friends of higher Rank to whole Testimony I appeal whether this is not less than might be truly said and yet her Wisdom the true Wisdom of preferring Religion above all these remained with her and all she knew she was ambitious to infuse and to transmit unto her Daughters who did not abuse her Hopes nor shame their Teacher I shall not insist on her Prudent Methods to accomplish them in the affairs of this Life my Business being to make good Christians not good House-wives by her Example Her first Care was to keep their Minds uncorrupted by Vanity or Pride therefore kept them at home not to save Charges but avoid Inconveniences and therefore that they might not want what she could not perform entertained a French Dancing-Master in the House and had a Writing and Singing-Master come to them at fit Seasons How much and how well they performed by their Needles by the help of a well qualified Servant but chiefly by their Mothers guidance who taught both them and her I wave the recounting of because if it seemed not incredible I own it would be Impertinent and it may be censured as Vanity But all this was by-Business comparatively her Work and Business was to cultivate their Minds
improve their Intellectuals to season their tender Hearts with a due Sense of Religion that they might be glorious within she having no desire so Pathetick no Joy so great as to see her Children walking in the Truth and in the Love and Practice of Serious Holiness To promote and forward this she taught them to Read as soon as they could pronounce their Letters yea before they could speak plain and sowed the Seed of early Pious Knowledge in their tender Minds by a plain familiar Catechism suited to their Capacity whilst very young which I find among her Papers that serious things might have the first Possession of their Hearts and would strictly charge the Servants not to tell them foolish Stories or teach them idle Songs which might tincture their Fancies with vain or hurtfull Imaginations and choak the good Seed of Pious Instruction or draw them from it When they had attained the first and smallest Sense of God she would cause them to kneel down and lift up their little Hands and Eyes to Heaven those humble Gestures being the silent Language of Natural Religion then would she dictate to them such easie words of Prayer as were most level to their budding Reason And when they arrived at four or five years old she would teach them somewhat a larger Prayer and cause them to go by themselves till they were accustomed to doe it of their own accord and as they grew up gave them directions concerning Prayer of which I find a Treatise which I would have called an excellent one had it not been hers so nearly Related to me of which more e'er long When they could read tolerably well she caused them to get by Heart choice Sentences of Scripture then whole Psalms and Chapters which she oft called them to repeat and gave them small pecuniary Rewards to encourage them and that they might have somewhat of their own to give to the Poor and when she gave Farthings or Victuals to travelling People at the Door she would cause a Child to give it to them to accustome them to be Charitable And in this Pious Maternal Care did she spend good part of every day which should not have been omitted when I gave account how she spent a Day and Week When they had learned the Church-Catechism she would have them answer publickly that the meaner sort might be ashamed not to send their Children and the poor Children might be quickned and encouraged by their Example and Company And having observed that many would read commendably in the Bible where the Sentences are shorter and the distinction of the Verses and frequent use much helped them who could scarce doe it intelligibly in other Books where the Periods are longer and not so well distinguished She would give them other Books and often hear them read them and would make a prudent choice of Books of Instruction and Devotion and sometimes usefull Histories as the Book of Martyrs and Abbreviations of our English Chronicles and Lives of Holy Exemplary Persons especially of those who were so while Young that she might doe several things at once both perfect their Reading and inform their Judgments and inflame their Affections to an imitation of their early Piety She was also very Circumspect not only to keep their Morals untainted from Pride Immodesty Lying Contempt of or deriding others for their natural Infirmities telling Tales or causing Debate or Anger and the like shewing them the evil of those Courses but also of their Gestures and Carriage that they might contract no indecent Habitudes or uncomely Postures which might expose them to Contempt but above all of this kind pressing them to Cleanliness and Neatness intimating that it was a sign and evidence in some measure of inward Purity and would often tell them that though all neat People were not good yet almost all good People were neat and that she had rather see an Hole in their Cloaths than a Spot upon them I pass by her Diligence in Teaching them whetever might fit them for all Family-Imployments in Pastry and Seasoning of which her Friends were use to say her Hand was never out causing them to transcribe her best Receipts for things which were curious but especially for Medicines with Directions how to use them that if God had spared their Lives they might have been as usefull in their Generation as God vouchsafed her the Honour to be in hers But I must by an inforced Brevity deny my self the pleasure of recording more lest by a seeming Prolixity I displease others and hasten to finish this Section with transcribing what her dear Pen had prepared for her Children many years ago and I never saw till I was bereaved of her For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Mrs. Elizabeth Walker A Collection of Scriptures some to excite and move to c. Then follows many Heads under which they are ranked but because the order is changed in the Book it self I shall rather touch the order in which they are at large set down Then she concludes what I may call the Title-Page with these words Directed to each of them singularly All which to the Glory of God I humbly beg may be to your Souls Advantage so Prays with most earnest Request to God for thee thy Ever Loving whilst Living Mother Elizabeth Walker The first she begins with bears this Title It is the Duty of Christians to pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with Watchfulness in the Spirit with warmth and Life Then she begins with a description of Prayer what it is both as a means of Worship whereby we honour and give Glory to God and a means of Grace whereby we obtain Mercy and Help from him and subjoins in seven large Pages whatever she conceived Expedient and usefull for its answering both those ends all which she confirms with most apposite and proper Scriptures and Examples I thought to have abbreviated it here but when I went about it I could not find one Line to be omitted as useless or that might well be spared therefore must wholly pass it by or add it intirely in the Appendix amongst some other Papers of hers The second Head is this It is the duty of those whom God blesseth with the good things of this Life to supply the necessities of those who want them which God's Word as our Rule abundantly expresseth or a Collection of Scriptures to excite to a liberal Distribution to the Necessity of the Poor for with such Sacrifices God is well pleased Then she adds three Pages of such Scriptures Judiciously chosen The third Head Divers Scriptures which exhort to Meekness of Spirit This contains six Pages Then follows this single Page without Title which I shall transcribe with my Pen because she did it so signally in her Practice that it contains her Picture to the Life and was to teach her Daughters what they should be Prov. 12.4 A Vertuous Woman is a Crown to her
Death of one very desirable Child were swallowed up by the Tears of Gladness for the lively Symptoms of the spiritual Birth of another not less dear to us The House was a Bokim not one dry Eye the Pathetick Earnestness with which the Child cried for Pardon and supplies of Grace enflamed and melted all that heard her and the abundance of Tears she shed so freely were like Water put into a Pump it brought up even Buckets full from all that saw them What would I not give for such another Evening I know there are too many in the World who will make these things the Subject of their Mirth and Scorn and opening other Books much oftner than the Holy Bible would be more affected with an auspicious Cut or turning up a lucky Trump than lighting on the divinest Promise in the Sacred Volumes and will stigmatize such Impressions with the Contemptuous Brand of Enthusiasm or at the mildest slight them as the Effects of warm'd Fancy But let them alone I 'll not disturb their pleasing Dreams yet Wisdom is Justified of her Children and though I will not presume to say We speak Wisdom to them who are Perfect and write such things for them who have their Senses Exercised to discern and relish them Yet I cannot but call to Mind how Petrus Blesensis endorsed his Treatise of the Love of God Secretum meum mihi My Secret to my self and I hope this will meet with some Readers to whom it may not be as insipid as the White of an Egg to allude to Job's Expression and for those who think it the cheapest and quickest way to ease their Minds in their unacquaintedness with such things to ridicule them in others I say Mock on I pass by for Brevity-sake many excellent Passages of most Exemplary Piety in several Pages relating to the Occurrences of near three Year Then follows In the beginning of September 1671. my Daughter Elizabeth had a great Fit of Sickness which brought her very low a Fever with a Rhumatism we had the Advice of eight or nine Physicians from London and Chelmsford and five upon the Place c. My self watched many Nights with her the time I could spare in my careful attendance on her I spent in Prayers and Tears at the Throne of Grace in her behalf from whence I had a Mercifull Return One Night she rutled and breathed short which made me fear the approach of Death I having by me Oil of Sweet-Almonds new drawn I desired to give her some of it but was afraid to attempt it and her Stomach did so nauseate what was given her though in it self Pleasant I went from her into another Chamber and earnestly besought God if he saw it good for her to incline her to a willing taking of it I brought her five or six Spoonfuls in a Silver Cup which she received of me without speaking one Word against it and drank it off without the least reluctancy or Regret I do most heartily bless God who did not cast out my Prayer the Oil caused her to Vomit much tough Flegm and withal gently Purged her after which she recovered Health I thank God Blessed God I beseech thee enable her to render to thee suitable returns of Love and Obedience that the residue and remainder of her days here may be in thy Fear not to offend thee but faithfully to serve thee who didst remember and help her in her low Estate that when thou shalt Consummate her Days on Earth she may be ever with thee in thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory Amen I shall conclude this Section with the Account of her Carriage and Demeanour in the last Sickness and Death of this Dearly Beloved Child I confess she is very large in what she writes of it therefore I shall contract it what I can though I find not an impertinent Line in so many Pages and I hope it will not seem tedious because it is so suitable to the End I design which is to propound her Example of Motherly Affection and Christian Submission to and Holy Improvement of God's smarty Tryals She thus begins I have now one of the saddest of God's Providences to record which hath befallen me in the Comforts of this Life I beseech God to sanctifie it to me and those concerned with me Then having at large related all the Circumstances of her Sickness she proceeds She was sixteen Years three Months and eleven Days old when she dyed After fourteen Days Sickness of the Small-Pox she changed her Corruptible State I humbly hope into Immortal Glory where she shall never Sin and the Effects of Sin shall be no more She was a very Beautifull and Lovely Woman c. God gave her a good understanding c. And so having described her Body and Mind exactly she corrects herself but thus to Characterize her may not suit my Pen But I may acknowledge these Accomplishments to the Praise of God's Goodness The ground of my Comfort is her sweet Inclination to the things of God and her Souls concerns as to her eternal State unto which she is gone unspotted from the gross defilements of the World and was Mercifully preserved from ever falling into any scandalous Sin and is set out of the reach of Sin Temptation and Sorrows got into Harbour off a Tempestuous Sea I bless God we have good hopes of her Eternal Peace and Safety for besides a blameless Conversation free from gross Enormities she was very Conscientious in the Duties of Religion she would always speak the Truth She was meek of Spirit very humble and charitable to the Poor and Pitifull and would relieve them as far as she had wherewith to do it she was very tender-hearted fearfull of Sin and of being found an Hypocrite Besides Family-Prayers she Worshipped God in private twice a Day in secret Prayer in the Morning she read the Scriptures and in the Afternoon spent an hour or more in reading good Books She did exhort others to serious Piety and in time of Health would be counselling and advising the Servants privately to be Religious and to take heed of delaying and putting off their Returns to God She had great Impressions on her Heart as to the carefull observation of the Sabbath and when she had made any digression with Worldly Discourse with others she would make acknowledgment she had done amiss a Sin lightly considered and as little bewailed ' Then she relates the Impressions of Gods Spirit on her Heart when twelve Years old of which before and her Patient and Pious Carriage in her Sickness three Years before this Then proceeds She had also Experience of Spiritual Temptations but resisted them with Abhorrence In this her last Sickness she acquainted me with them telling me she had been much troubled with a wicked thing I asked her what it was she said she would not speak it for all the World it made her fear lest she had committed the Sin against the Holy-Ghost Poor Lamb she
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those
which unavoidably attend the increased numbers in an House yet was chearfully content when Charity opened the Door made the Fire and the Bed As in the Case of Dr. Tongue whom we entertained so many Months and Monsieur Barnaby Gennays who was sent to me but for four Weeks and left to my sole Charge five Pounds only allowed towards his admitting into St. John's Colledge in Cambridge for six whole Years two in my Family to be Cloathed Fed and Taught till fitted for the University and four there till he had his Degree of Batchellor and yet she never repined or grudged the Cost yea took daily Pains to hear him read English and teach him to pronounce it right I 'll touch no more Instances lest I be suspected to borrow my own Praise under the disguise of paying hers only adding the last which is not liable to that suspition because it rather tends as much to my own Reproach as to her Honour My Curate dying in my Family of a Consumption and other Infirmities September last which had occasioned to us both much Charge and Trouble and who had been attended with as kind Diligence and Care as if he had been our own Child After some little time I told her that I would forbear taking a young Man at least for the present into the Family because the publick Charges were so great and I thanked God I was able to perform my Work my self to whch she presently replied Nay My Dear whatever thou sparest in spare it not in that Thou never keptest them for thy own Ease but for their Benefit to train them up to be fit for God's Service and usefull in the Church and seeing they have all proved so well and been so well preferred and provided for and so approved of in their Ministry continue to do as thou hast done so successfully so many Years there is as much need still as ever of so assisting Young-Men and let not that Practice cease the reason of which is not ceased I yielded took her wise and honest Advice and wrote immediately to a worthy Friend in Cambridge who provided me one whose Character answered my Desires But his Mind altered since my Wife's Death by prospect of Preferment in the Colledge and I wish he may never have cause to repent it by being worse disposed of And if so mean and so obscure a Person as my self may have leave to speak out and declare my Sentiments in this Affair without imputation of Vanity or Offence to my Betters if every Minister of my Ability not to say of double to mine would please to take a poor Schollar into his House as soon as they have commenced Batchellors in Arts and then are forced to leave the Colledge very raw because they can no longer have subsistence as Sizers and would lend or give them Books direct them in the reading them and assist and inspect their Studies to say no more there would not so many young Students be at loss for Maintenance and be forced so Callow and Pin-feather'd I borrow that Expression from my Dear which she was often heard by others as well as by my self to use and like young Partridges to run with the Shell upon their Heads and to get Bread be constrained to undertake the teaching others what themselves have so imperfectly learned But to return to what was properly and purely her own the acts of her Charity were more than the kinds and both as many as she met with Objects that wanted it both in giving and forgiving and both proportioned to the Necessities of those who needed that before her Rent-day came she was often near or quite exhausted and would pleasantly tell me Thou must expect no hoard of Money when I am Dead for I am almost Bankrupt Then I would tell her I would supply or if she would advance some part before-hand which I never remember she accepted more than once three Pounds She used as soon as she had taken her Allowance to separate nine Shillings six pence out of it into her poor Man's Box to be ready for smaller common Charities But though this was her first Quota this was far from being all for I find twenty six Pound three Shillings Four-pence set down in two Years given away besides what she might forget or omit though some small part I confess was rather Courtesie than strictly Charity as given to Friends Servants or the like And she would give liberal Summs I find twice five Pounds ten Shillings given to the French Protestants for whom she had a great Compassion one year after another and I have been informed by an Honourable Lady that she left five Guineys at a time with her for their Relief but it may be these might be the same and I would not make it more than it was in Truth She also gave twenty Shillings a time to the Briefs for both French and Irish Sufferers and other Guineys at a time I find set down in her Paper and know of by other means Also ten Shillings five Shillings and very oft Half-Crowns I find also twenty Shillings in a Year given at Tunbridge-Wells which she distributed to the Poor in smaller Pieces Shillings Six-pences and Farthings besides the Books she gave But besides what she gave in Money she both bought good Cloth to cloath poor Women and Children the day but one before she sickned she enquired of the Taylor what poor Children he had made the last Cloaths for that she might order the rest which then remained in the House to some other And a little before she bought that whole Piece of Cloth from London she caused Wool to be spun and strong Linsy-Woolsy to be made to supply many poor Childrens wants and she was as carefull of their Bellies as their Backs to feed the one as warm the other as wants no Proof nor Instance She used also to buy Primmers Psalters Testaments Bibles to give away and other good Books Crook's Guide especially to give to poor Children and Families She much delighted and abounded in that kind of Charity giving usefull Books and before she was prevented by settling a School to teach all the Poor that not a Boy or Girl in all the Parish but may be taught to read perfectly unless it be their own or Parents fault she used to pay for the Schooling of poor Children And being put together it amounted to a pretty considerable Summ what she yearly gave to poor Women when with-Child not only old Linnen but a good new Blanket every Lying-in which was so customary and constant that it was almost claimable as a due Debt and not only the Parish poor Women but some Borderers have been Partakers of it And I have been told already by one in that condition Now her Mistress is dead she must come to me so unwilling they are to let so known a Custom dye with her with which freedom as I was not offended so I discourage not others from making