Dignity Can'st thou not remember the Verses of our Poet when he recounts the Employments of the four Nymphs at their Chrystal-Mansions when they advanc'd their Heads above the Streams of the lovely Tagus and sat upon the Grass working those rich Embroideries where Silk and Gold and Pearl emboss'd were so curiously interwoven and which that ingenious Bard so Artfully describes So was my Princess employ'd when she bless'd thee with her sight but the envious malice of some base Necromancer fascinated thy Sight as it represents whatever is most grateful to me in different and displeasing Shapes And this makes me fear that if the History of my Atchievements which they tell me is in Print has been written by some Magician who is no well-wisher to my Glory he has undoubtedly deliver'd many things with Partiality misrepresented my Life inserting a hundred falshoods for one truth and diverting himself with the relation of idle Stories foreign from the purpose and obnoxious to the continuation of a true History Oh Envy Envy Thou gnawing worm of Virtue and Spring of infinite Mischiefs There is no other Vice my Sancho but pleads some pleasure in its excuse but Envy is always attended by Disgust Rancour and distracting Rage I am much of your Mind said Sancho and I think in the same Book which Neighbour Carrasco told us he had read of our Lives the Story makes bold with my Credit and has handl'd it at a strange rate and has dragg'd it about the Kennels as a body may say Well now as I 'm an honest Man I never spoke an ill Word of a Magician in my born Days and I think they need not envy my Condition so much The truth is I am somewhat malicious I have my roguish Tricks now and then but I was ever counted more Fool than Knave for all that and so indeed I was bred and born and if there were nothing else in me but my Religion for I firmly believe whatever our holy Roman Catholick Church believes and I hate the Jews mortally these same Historians should take pity o' me and spare me a little in their Books But let 'em say on to the end of the Chapter naked I came into the World and naked must go out 'T is all a case to Sancho I can neither win nor lose and so they put me in their Books and toss my Name from Post to Pillar I care not a Fig for the worst they can say What thou say'st Sancho answer'd Don Quixote puts me in mind of a Story A celebrated Poet of our time wrote a very scurrilous and abusive Lampoon upon all the Intriguing Ladies of the Court forbearing to name one as not being sure whether she deserv'd to be put into the Catalogue or no but the Lady not finding herself there was not a little affronted at the Omission and made a great Complaint to the Poet asking him what he had seen in her that he shou'd leave her out of his List desiring him at the same time to enlarge his Satire and put her in or expect to hear further from her The Author obey'd her Commands and gave her a Character with a vengeance and to her great satisfaction made her as famous for Infamy as any Woman about the Town Such another story is that of Diana's Temple one of the seven Wonders of the World burnt by an ignoble Fellow meerly to eternize his Name which in spight of an Edict that enjoyn'd all People never to mention it either by word of Mouth or in Writing yet is still known to have been Erostratus The Story of the great Emperor Charles the Fifth and a Roman Knight upon a certain occasion is much the same The Emperour had a great desire to see the famous Temple once called the Pantheon but now more happily the Church of All Saints 'T is the only entire Edifice remaining of Heathen Rome and that which best gives an Idea of the Glory and Magnificence of its great Founders 'T is built in the shape of a half Orange of a vast Extent and very lightsom tho' it admits no Light but at one Window or to speak more properly at a round Aperture on the top of the Roof The Emperor being got up thither and looking down from the Brink upon the Fabrick with a Roman Knight by him who shew'd all the Beauties of that vast edifice after they were gone from the place says the Knight addressing the Emperor It came into my Head a thousand Times Sacred Sir to embrace your Majesty and cast my self with you from the top of the Church to the bottom that I might thus purchase an immortal Name I thank you said the Emperor for not doing it and for the future I will give you no opportunity to put your Loyalty to such a Test Therefore I banish you my Presence for ever which done he bestow'd some mighty Favour on him I tell thee Sancho this desire of Honour is a strange bewitching thing What dost thou think made Horatius arm'd at all points plunge headlong from the Bridge into the Rapid Tyber What prompted Curtius to leap into the profound flaming Gulph What made Mutius burn his Hand What forc'd Coesar over the Rubicon spight of all the Omens that dissuaded his Passage And to instance a more modern Example what made the undaunted Spaniards sink their Ships when under the most Courteous Cortez but that scorning the stale Honor of this so often Conquer'd World they sought a Maiden Glory in a new Scene of Victory These and a multiplicity of other great Actions are owing to the immediate thirst and desire of Fame which Mortals expect as the proper Price and immortal Recompence of their great Actions But we that are Christian Catholick Knight-Errants must fix our hopes upon a higher Reward plac'd in the Eternal and Celestial Regions where we may expect a permanent Honour and compleat Happiness not like the vanity of Fame which at best is but the shadow of great Actions and must necessarily vanish when destructive Time has eat away the Substance which it follow'd So my Sancho since we expect a Christian Reward we must suit our Actions to the Rules of Christianity In Giants we must kill Pride and Arrogance But our greatest Foes and whom we must chiefly combare are within Envy we must overcome by generosity and nobleness of Soul Anger by a repos'd and easy Mind Riot and Drowsiness by Vigilance and Temperance Lasciviousness by our inviolable Fidelity to those who are Mistresses of our Thoughts and Sloth by our indefatigable Peregrinations thro' the Universe to seek occasions of Military as well as Christian Honours This Sancho is the Road to lasting Fame and a good and honourable Renown I understand passing well every Tittle you have said answer'd Sancho but pray now Sir will you dissolve me of one doubt that 's just come into my Head Resolve thou would'st say Sancho reply'd Don Quixote Well speak and I will endeavour to satisfy thee Why then
out of the World The Curate cou'd not forbear smiling at the old womans simplicity and desir'd the Barber to reach him the Books one by one that he might peruse the Title pages for perhaps they might find some among 'em that might not deserve to be committed to the Flames Oh by no means cryed the Niece spare none of em they all helpt some how or other to crack my Unkle's Brains I fancy we had best throw 'em all out at the Window into the Yard and lay 'em together in a heap and then set 'em o'fire or else carry 'em into the Back yard and there make a pile of 'em and burn 'em and so the smoke will offend no body The Housekeeper join'd with her so eagerly bent they were both upon the destruction of those poor Innocents But the Curate wou'd not condescend to these irregular Proceedings and resolv'd first to read at least the Title Pages of every Book The first that Mr Nicholas put into his hands was Amadis de Gaule in four Volumes There seems to be some mystery in this Books being the first taken down cry'd the Curate as soon as he had lookt upon 't for I have heard 't is the first Book of Knight-Errantry that ever was printed in Spain and the model of all the rest and therefore I am of opinion that as the first Teacher and Author of so pernicious a Sect it ought to be condemn'd to the Fire without mercy I beg a reprieve for him cry'd the Barber for I have been told 't is the best Book that has been written in that kind and therefore as the only good thing of that sort it may deserve a Pardon Well then reply'd the Curate for this time let him have it Let 's see that other which lyes next to him These said the Barber are the exploits of Esplandian the lawfully begotten Son of Amadis de Gaule Verily said the Curate the Fathers goodness shall not excuse the want of it in the Son Here good Mistress House-keeper open that Window and throw it into the Yard and let it serve as a foundation to that Pile we are to set a blazing presently She was not slack in her obedience and thus poor Don Esplandian was sent headlong into the Yard there patiently to wait the time of his fiery Tryal To the next cry'd the Curate This said the Barber is Amadis of Greece and I 'm of opinion that all those that stand on this side are of the same Family Then let 'em all be sent packing into the Yard reply'd the Curate for rather than lose the pleasure of burning Queen Antiquinestra and the Shepherd Darinel with his Eclogues and the confounded unintelligible discourses of the Author I think I shou'd burn my own Father along with 'em if I met him in the disguise of a Knight-Errant I am of your mind cry'd the Barber And I too said the Niece Nay then quoth the old Female let 'em come and down with 'em all into the Yard They were deliver'd to her accordingly and many they were so that to save herself the labour of carrying 'em down stairs she fairly sent 'em flying out at Wjndow What overgrown piece of Lumber have we here cry'd the Curate Olivante de Laura return'd the Barber The same Author wrote The Garden of Flowers and to deal ingenuously with you I cannot well tell which of the two Books has most Truth in it or to speak more properly less Lyes But this I know for certain that he shall march into the Back-Yard like a nonsensical arrogant Blockhead as he is The next cry'd the Barber is Florismart of Hircania How my Lord Florismart is he here reply'd the Curate Nay then truly he shall e'en follow the rest to the Yard in spight of his wonderful Birth and incredible Adventures for his rough dull and insipid stile deserves no better usage Come toss him into the Yard and this other too good Mistress With all my heart quoth the Governess and strait she was as good as her word Here 's the noble Don Platir cry'd the Barber 'T is an old Book reply'd the Curate and I can think of nothing in him that deserves a grain of pity Away with him without any more words and down he went accordingly Another Book was open'd and it prov'd to be The Knight of the Cross The holy Title cry'd the Curate might in some measure attone for the badness of the Book but then as the saying is The Devil lurks behind the Cross To the Flames with him Then the Barber taking down another Book cry'd here 's the Mirrour of Knighthood Oh I have the honour to know him reply'd the Curate There you shall find the Lord Rinaldo of Montaban with his Friends and Companions all of 'em greater Thieves than Cacus together with the twelve Peers of France and that faithful Historian Turpin Truly I must needs say I am only for condemning 'em to perpetual Banishment at least because their story contains something of the famous Boyardo's Invention out of which the Christian Poet Ariosto also borrow'd his subject yet if I happen to meet with him in this bad Company and speaking in any other Language than his own I ll show him no manner of favour but if he talks in his own Native Tongue I ll treat him with all the respect imaginable I have him at home in Italian said the Barber but I cannot understand him 'T is not convenient you shou'd reply d the Curate and I cou'd willingly have excus'd the good Captain who translated it that trouble of attempting to make him speak Spanish for he has depriv'd him of a great deal of his primitive Graces a misfortune incident to all those who presume to translate Verses since their utmost wit and industry can never enable 'em to preserve the native Beauties and Genius that shine in the original For this reason I am for having not only this Book but likewise all those which we shall find here treating of French affairs thrown and deposited in some dry Vault till we have maturely determin'd what ought to be done with 'em give me leave to except one Bernardo del Carpio that must be somewhere here among the rest and another call'd Roncesvalles for whenever I meet with 'em I will certainly deliver 'em up into the hands of the Secular power The Barber gave his approbation to every particular well knowing that the Curate was so good a Christian and so great a lover of truth that he would not have uttered a falsity for all the world Then opening another Volume he found it to be Palmerin de Oliva and the next to that Palmerin of England Ha! Have I found you cry'd the Curate Here take that Oliva let him be torn to pieces then burnt and his ashes scatter'd in the Air. But let Palmerin of England be preserv'd as a singular Relique of Antiquity and let such a costly box be made for him as Alexander found among the Spoils
of Darius which he devoted to enclose Homer s Works For I must tell you Neighbor that Book deserves particular respect for two things First for its own Excellencies and Secondly for the sake of its Author who is said to have been a learned King of Portugal Then all the Adventures of the Castle of Miraguarda are well and art fully manag'd The Dialogue very courtly and clear and the Decorum strictly observ'd in every Character with equal Propriety and Judgment Therefore Mr Nicholas continu'd he with submission to your better advice this and Amadis de Gaul shall be exempted from the Fire and let all the rest be condemn'd without any further enquiry or examination By no means I beseech you return'd the Barber for this which I have in my hands is the famous Don Bellianis Truly cry'd the Curate he with his second third and fourth parts had need of a Dose of Rhuharb to purge his excessive Choler besides his Castle of Fame shou'd be demolish'd and a heap of other Rubbish remov'd In order to which I give my Vote to grant 'em the benefit of Transportation and as they shew signs of amendment so shall Mercy or Justice be us'd towards 'em In the mean time Neighbor take 'em into custody and keep 'em safe at home but let none be permitted to converse with ' em Content cry'd the Barber and to save himself the labour of looking on any more Books of that kind he bid the House-keeper take all the great Volumes and throw 'em into the Yard She who long'd to be at that Sport as much as to be making her Wedding Smock had no need of being twice spoken to so that laying hold on no less than eight Volumes at once she presently made 'em leap towards the place of Execution But as she went too eagerly to work taking more Books than she cou d conveniently carry she happen'd to drop one at the Barbers Feet which he took up out of Curiosity to see what it was and found it to be the History of the famous Knight Tirante the White good lack-a-day cry'd the Curate Is Tirante the White here Oh pray good Neighbour give it me by all means for I promise my self to find in it a Treasure of Delight and a Mine of Recreation There we have that valorous Knight Don Kyrie-Eleiso of Montaban with his Brother Thomas of Montaban and the Knight Fonseca the combat of the valorous Detriante with the Mastiff the dainty and witty conceits of the Damsel Plazerdemivida with the Loves and Guiles of the Widow Reposada together with the Lady Empress that was in Love with Hippolito her Gentleman Usher I vow and protest to you neighbour continued he that as for style there is not a better Book in the World Why here your Knights eat and drink sleep and dye natural Deaths in their Beds nay and first make their last Wills and Testaments with a World of other things of which all the rest of these sort of Books don't say one syllable Yet after all I must tell you that for wilfully taking the pains to write so many foolish things the worthy Author fairly deserves to be sent to the Galleys for all the days of his life Take it home with you and read it and then tell me whether I have told the truth or no. I believe you reply'd the Barber But what shall we do with all these smaller Books that are left Certainly return'd the Curate these cannot be Books of Knight Errantry they are too small You 'll find they are only Poets And so opening one it happen'd to be the Diana of Montemayor which made him say believing all the rest to be of that stamp These do not deserve to be punisht like the others for they neither have done nor can do that mischief which those Stories of Chivalry have done being generally ingenious Books that can do no body any prejudice Oh! good Sir cry'd the Neice burn 'em with the rest I beseech you for shou'd my Unkle get cur'd of his Knight-Errant-Frenzy and betake himself to the reading of these Books we shou'd have him turn Shepherd and so wander thro the Woods and Fields nay and what wou'd be worse yet turn Poet which they say is a catching and an incurable Disease The Gentlewoman is in the right said the Curate and it will not be amiss to remove that stumbling Blockout of our Friends way and since we began with the Diana of Montemayor I am of opinion we ought not to burn it but only take out that part of it which treats of the Magician Felicia and the enchanted water as also all the longer Poems and let the work escape with its Prose and the honour of being the chief of that kind Here 's another Diana quoth the Barber the second of that name by Salmantino nay and a third too by Gil Polo Pray said the Curate let Salmantino encrease the number of the Crâ—minals in the Yard but as for that by Gil Polo preserve it as charily as if Apollo himself had wrote it and go on as fast as you can I beseech you good Neighbour for it grows late Here quoth the Barber I 've a Book call d the Ten Books of the Fortune of Love written by Anthony de Lofrasco a Sardinian Poet. Now by my holy Orders cry'd the Curate I do not think since Apollo was Apollo the Muses Muses and the Poets Poets there was ever a more comical more silly Book Of all the works of the kind commend me to this for in its way 't is certainly the best and most singular that ever was publish'd and he that never read it may safely think he never in his Life read any thing that was pleasant Give it me Neighbour continu'd he for I 'm more glad to have found it than if any one had given me a Cassock of the best Florence-Prunella With that he laid it aside with extraordinary satisfaction and the Barbâ—â— went on These that follow cry d he are The Shepherd of Iberia The Nymphs of Enares and The Cure of Jealousy Take 'em Jaylor quoth the Curate and never ask me why for then wâ— shall ne're have done The next said the Barber is The Shepherd of Filida he 's no Shepherd return'd the Curate but a very discreet Courtiâ—â— keep him as a precious Jewel There 's a biggeâ— cry'd the Barber call'd The Treasure of divers Poems had there been less of 'em said the Curate they wou'd have been more esteem'd 'T is fit the Book shou'd be prun'd and clear'd of several trifles that disgrace the rest Keep it however because the Author is my Friend and for the sake of his other more heroic and lofty Productions Here 's a Book of Songs by Lopez Maldonado cry'd the Barber he 's also my particular Friend said the Curate his Verses are very well lik d when he reads em himself and his voice is so excellent that they charm us whenever he sings ' em He seems
and Tokens that are yet fresh on my Ribs would not let me Hold your Tongue said Don Quixote and let the Learned Batchelor proceed that I may know what the History says of me And of me too quoth Sancho for they tell me I am one of the top Parsons in 't Persons you should say Sancho said Carrasco and not Parsons Hey-day quoth Sancho have we got another Corrector of hard Words If this be the Trade we shall never ha' done May I be curs'd said Carrasco if you be not the second Person in the History honest Sancho nay and some there are who had rather hear you talk than the best there though some there are again that will say you were horribly Credulous to flatter your self with having the Government of that Island which your Master here present promis'd you While there 's Life there 's Hope said Don Quixote when Sancho is grown Mature with Time and Experience he may be better qualify'd for a Government than he is yet Odsbodikins Sir quoth Sancho if I been't fit to Govern an Island at these Years I shall never be a Governor though I live to the Years of Methusalah but there the Mischief lies we have Brains enough but we want the Island Come Sancho said Don Quixote hope for the best trust in Providence all will be well and perhaps better than you imagine But know there 's not a Leaf on any Tree that can be mov'd without the permission of Heaven That 's very true said Carrasco and I dare say Sancho shall not want a thousand Islands to Govern much less one that is if it be Heaven's Will Why not quoth Sancho I ha' seen Governors in my time who to my thinking could not come up to me passing the Sole of my Shooes and yet forsooth they call'd them your Honour and they eat their Victuals all in Silver Ay said Carrasco but these were none of your Governors of Islands but of other easie Governments Why Man these ought at least to know their Grammar Ay ay quoth Sancho give me but a gray Mare once and I shall know her well enough I 'll warrant ye But leaving the Government in the Hands of him that will best provide for me I must tell you Master Batchelor Sampson Carrasco I am huge glad that as your Author has not forgot me so he has not given an Ill Character of me for by the Faith of a trusty Squire had he said any thing that did not become * * A Name the Spaniards desire to be distinguish'd from the Jews and Moors by an Old Christian as I am I had rung him such a Peal that the Deaf should have heard me That were a Miracle said Carrasco Miracle me no more Miracles cry'd Sancho let every Man take care how he talks or how he writes of other Men and not set down at Random Higgle-de-piggledy what ever comes into his Noddle One of the faults found with this History said Carrasco is that the Author has thrust into 't a Novel which he calls The Curious Impertinent not that 't is ill Writ or the Design of it to be mislik'd but because it is not in its right place and has no coherence with the Story of Don Quixote I 'll lay my Life quoth Sancho the Son of a Mungrel has made a Gallimawfry of it all Now said Don Quixote I perceive that he who attempted to write my History is not one of the Sages but some ignorant prating Fool who would needs be meddling and set up for a Scribbler without the least grain of Judgment to help him out and so he has done like Orbaneja the Painter of Ubeda who being ask'd what he Painted answer'd as it may hit and when he had scrawl'd out a Mis-shapen Cock was forc'd to write underneath it in Gothick Letters This is a Cock At this rate I believe he has perform'd in my History so that it will require a Commentary to explain it Not at all answer'd Carrasco for he has made every thing so plain that there 's not the least thing in 't but what any one may understand Children handle it Youngsters read it Men understand it and Old People Applaud it In short 't is universally so thumb'd so glean'd so studi'd and so known that if the People do but see a Lean Horse they presently cry there goes Rozinante But none apply themselves to the reading it more than your Pages There 's ne'er a Nobleman's Antichamber where you shan't find a Don Quixote No sooner has one laid it down but another takes it up One asks for it here and there 't is snatch'd up by another In a Word 't is esteem'd the most Pleasant and least Dangerous Diversion that ever was seen as being a Book that does not betray the least indecent Expression nor so much as a profane Thought To write after another manner said Don Quixote were not to write Truth but Falshood and those Historians who are guilty of that should be punish'd like those who Counterfeit the Lawful Coin But I cannot conceive what could move the Author to stuff his History with Foreign Novels and Adventures not at all to the Purpose while there was a sufficient Number of my own to have exercis'd his Pen. Without doubt they should observe the Proverb Ne'er stuff the Cushion with Straw if you have Down enough And certainly had he altogether confin'd himself to my Thoughts my Sighs my Tears my laudable Designs my Adventures he might yet have swell'd his Book to as great a Bulk at least as all Tostatus's Works I have also reason to believe Mr Batchelor that to compile a History or write any Book whatsoever is a more difficult Task than Men imagine There 's need of a vast Judgement and a ripe Understanding It belongs to none but great Genius's to express themselves with Grace and Elegance and draw the Manners and Actions of others to the Life The most Artful Part in a Play is the Fool 's and therefore a Fool must not pretend to write it On the other side History is in a manner a sacred thing so far as it contains Truth for where Truth is the Supreme Father of it may also be said to be at least in as much as concerns Truth However there are Men that will make you Books and turn 'em loose into the World with as much dispatch as they would do a Dish of Fritters There 's no Book so bad said the Batchelor but some good thing may be found in it That 's true said Don Quixote yet 't is a common thing for Men who had gain'd a very great Reputation by their Writings before they Printed them to lose it afterwards quite or at least the greatest part The Reason's plain said Carrasco their Faults are more easily discover'd after their Books are Printed as being then more read and more narrowly examin'd the rather if the Author has been much cry'd up before the severity of the scrutiny is so
when they find it in Necessity then Kites and Crows and other ravenous Birds will all be grapling with the alluring Prey She that can withstand these dangerous Attacks does merit to be the Crown of her Husband However Sir take this along with you as the Opinion of a Wise Man whose Name I have forgot he said there was but one good Woman in the World and his Advice was that every Married Man should think his own Wife was she as being the only way to live contented For my own part I need not make the Application to my self for I am not Married nor have I as yet any Thoughts that way but if I had 't wou'd not be a Woman's Fortune but her Character should recommend her for publick Reputation is the Life of a Lady's Vertue and the outward Appearance of Modesty is in one Sense as good as the Reality since a private Sin is not so prejudicial in this World as a publick Indecency If you bring a Woman honest to your Bosom 't is easy keeping her so and perhaps you may improve her Vertues If you take an unchaste Partner to your Bed 't is hard mending her for the Extremes of Vice and Vertue are so great in a Woman and their Points so far asunder that 't is very improbable I won't say impossible they should ever be reconcil'd Sancho who had patiently Listen'd so far cou'd not forbear making some Remarks on his Master's Talk This Master of mine thought he to himself when I am talking some good Things full of Pith and Marrow as he may be now was wont to tell me that I should tie a Pulpit at my Back and stroll with it about the World to retail my Rarities but I might as well tell him that when once he begins to tack his Sentences together a single Pulpit is too little for him he had need have two for every Finger and go Peddling about the Market and cry who buys my Ware Old Nick take him for a Knight-Errant I think he 's one of the seven Wise Masters I thought he knew nothing but his Knight-Errantry but now I see the Devil a thing can ' scape him he has an Oar in every Man's Boat and a Finger in every Pye As he mutter'd somewhat loud his Master over-heard him What 's that thou' rt Grumbling there Sancho said he Nothing Sir nothing quoth Sancho I was only wishing I had heard your Worship Preach this Doctrine before I Married then mayhaps I might have said the old Proverb A sound Man needs no Physician What is Teresa so bad then ask'd Don Quixoie Not so very bad neither answer'd Sancho nor yet so good as I would have her Fie Sancho said Don Quixote thou do'st not do well to speak ill of thy Wife who is a good Mother to thy Children There 's no Love lost Sir quoth Sancho for she speaks as ill of me when the Fit takes her especially when she 's in one of her Jealous Moods for then Old Nick himself cou'd not bear her Maundring Don Quixote having tarried three Days with the young Couple and been entertain'd like a Prince he entreated the Student who fenced so well to help him to a Guide that might conduct him to Montesino's Cave resolving to go down into it and prove by his own Eye-sight the Wonders that were reported of it round the Country The Student recommended a Cousin-German of his for his Conductor who he said was an Ingenious Lad a pretty Scholar and a great Admirer of Books of Knight-Errantry and cou'd shew him the famous Lake of Ruydera too adding that he would be very good Company for the Knight as being one that wrote Books for the Booksellers in order to Dedicate 'em to Great Men. Accordingly the Learned Cousin came mounted on an Ass with Foal his Pack-saddle cover'd with an old Carpet or coarse Packing-Cloth Thereupon Sancho having got ready Rozinante and Dapple well stuffed his Wallet and the Student's Knap-sack to boot they all took their Leave steering the nearest Course to Montesino's Cave To pass the Time on the Road Don Quixote ask'd the Guide to what Course of Study he chiefly apply'd himself Sir answer'd the Scholar my Business is Writing and Copy-Money my chief Study I have publish'd some Things with the general Approbation of the World and much to my own Advantage Perhaps Sir you may have heard of one of my Books call'd The Treatise of Liveries and Devices in which I have oblig'd the Publick with no less than seven Hundred and three sorts of Liveries and Devices with their Colours Mottos and Ciphers so that any Courtier may furnish himself there upon any extraordinary Appearance with what may suit his Fancy or Circumstances without racking his own Invention to find what is agreeable to his Inclinanations I can furnish the Jealous the Forsaken the Disdain'd the Absent with what will fit 'em to a Hair Another Piece which I now have on the Anvil I design to call the Metamorphosis or The Spanish Ovid an Invention very new and extraordinary 'T is in short Ovid Burlesqu'd wherein I discover who the * * Several Rarities of Spain Giralda of Sevil was who the Angel of the Magdalen I tell ye what was the Pipe of Vecinguerra of â—â—â—eua what the Bulls of Guisando the Sierra Morena the Fountains of Laganitos and Lavapies at Maâ—rid not forgetting that of Piojo nor those of the Golden Pipe and the Abbey and I embellish the Fables with Allegories Metaphors and Translations that will delight and instruct Another Work which I soon design for the Press I call a Supplement to Polydore Virgil concerning the Inventions of Things A Piece I 'll assure you Sir that shews the great Pains and Learning of the Compiler and perhaps in a better Style than the old Author For Example he has forgot to tell us who was the First that was troublâ—d with a Catarrh in the World and who was the first that was Flux'd for the French Disease Now Sir I immediately resolve it and confirm my Assertion by the Testimony of at least four and twenty Authentick Writers By which Quotations alone you may guess Sir at what Pains I have been to instruct and benefit the Publick Sancho having hearkned with great Attention all this while Pray Sir quoth he to him so Heaven guide your Right-hand in all you Write let me ask you Who was the first Man that scratch'd his Head Scratch'd his Head Friend answer'd the Author Ay Sir scratch'd his Head quoth Sancho Sure you that know all things can tell me that or the Devil 's in 't What think you of old Father Adam Old Father Adam answer'd the Scholar Let me seâ— Father Adam had a Head he had Hair he had Hands and he cou'd scratch But Father Adam was the first Man Ergo Father Adam was the first Man that scratch'd his Head 'T is plain you 're in the right O ho am I so Sir quoth Sancho Another Question by your
Way Sir I think this kind of Version from one Language to another except it be from the noblest of Tongues the Greek and Latin is like viewing a Piece of Flemmish Tapistry on the wrong Side where though the Figures are distinguishable yet there are so many Ends and Threads that the Beauty and Exactness of the Work is obscur'd and not so advantagiously discern'd as on the right Side of the Hangings Neither can this barren Employment of translating out of easy Languages shew either Wit or Mastery of Style no more than copying a Piece of Writing by a Precedent though still the Business of Translating wants not its Commendations since Men very often may be worse employ'd As a further Proof of its Merits we have Doctor Christoval de Figueroa's Translation of Pastor Fido and Don Juan de Xaurigui's Aminta Pieces so excellently well done that they have made 'em purely their own and left the Reader in Doubt which is Translation and which Original But tell me pray Sir do you print your Book at your own Charge or have you sold the Copy to a Book-seller Why truly Sir answer'd the Translator I publish it upon my own Account and I hope to clear at least a thousand Crowns by this first Edition for I design to print off two thousand Books and they will go off at six Reals apiece in a Trice I 'm afraid you 'll come short of your Reckoning said Don Quixote 't is a Sign you are still a Stranger to the Tricks of these Booksellers and Printers and the Juggling there is among them I dare engage you will find two thousand Books lie very heavy upon your Hands especially if the Piece be somewhat tedious and wants Spirit What Sir reply'd the Author would you have me sell the Profit of my Labour to a Bookseller for three Maravedis a Sheet for that 's the most they will bid nay and expect too I should thank 'em for the Offer No no Sir I print not my Works to get Fame in the World my Name is up already Profit Sir is my End and without it what signifies Reputation Well Sir go on and prosper said Don Quixote and with that moving to another Part of the Room he saw a Man correcting a Sheet of a Book call'd The Light of the Soul Ay now this is something cry'd the Knight these are the Books that ought to be printed though there are a great many of that Kind for the Number of Sinners is prodigious in this Age and there is Need of an infinite Quantity of Lights for so many dark Souls as we have among us Then passing on and enquiring the Title of a Book of which another Workman was correcting a Sheet they told him 't was the Second Part of that ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote de la Mancha written by a certain Person a Native of Tordesillas I have heard of that Book before said Don Quixote and really thought it had been burnt and reduc'd to Ashes for a foolish impertinent Libel but all in good â—ime Execution-day will come at last For made Stories are only so far good and agreeable as they are profitable and bear the Resemblance of Truth and true History the more valuable the farther it keeps from the fabulous And so saying he flung out of the Printing-house in a Huff That very Day Don Antonio would needs shew Don Quixote the Gallies in the Road much to Sancho's Satisfaction because he had never seen any in his Life Don Antonio therefore gave Notice to the Commander of the Gallies that in the Afternoon he would bring his Guest Don Quixote de la Mancha to see 'em the Commander and all the People of the Town being by that Time no Strangers to the Knight's Character But what happen'd in the Gallies must be the Import of the next Chapter CHAP. LXIII Of Sancho's Misfortune on board the Gallies with the strange Adventures of the beautiful Morisca MAny and serious were Don Quixote's Reflections on the Answer of the inchanted Head tho' none hit on the Deceit but center'd all in the Promise of Dulcinea's Disinchantment and expecting it wou'd speedily be effected he rested joyfully satisfy'd As for Sancho tho' he hated the Trouble of being a Governour yet still he had an itching Ambition to rule to be obey'd and appear great for even Fools love Authority In short that Afternoon Don Antonio his two Friends Don Quixote and Sancho set out for the Gallies The Commander being advertis'd of their coming upon their Appearance on the Key order'd all the Gallies to strike Sail the Musick play'd and a Pinnace spread with rich Carpets and Crimson-Velvet Cushions was presently hoisted out and sent to fetch 'em aboard As soon as Don Quixote set his Foot into it the Admiral-Galley discharg'd her Forecastle-Piece and the rest of the Gallies did the like When Don Quixote got over the Gunnel of the Galley on the Starboard-side the whole Crew of Slaves according to their Custom of saluting Persons of Quality welcom'd him with three hu hu huz or huzzahs The General for so we must call him by Birth a Valencian and a Man of Quality gave him his Hand and embrac'd him This Day said he will I mark as one of the happiest I expect to see in all my Life since I have the Honour now to see Senior Don Quixote de la Mancha this Day I say that sets before my Eyes the Summary of wandring Chivalry collected in one Person Don Quixote return'd his Compliment with no less Civility and appear'd over-joy'd to see himself so treated like a Grandee Presently they all went aft on the Deck which was handsomely adorn'd and there they took their Places The Boatswain went to the Fore-castle and with his Whistle or Call gave the Sign to the Slaves to strip which was obey'd in a Moment Sancho was scar'd to see so many Fellows in their naked Skins but most of all when he saw 'em hoist up the Sails so incredibly fast as he thought cou'd never have been done but by so many Devils He had plac'd himself a Mid-ships next the hindmost Rower on the Starboard-side who being instructed what to do caught Hold of him and giving him a Hoist handed him to the next Man who toss'd him to a third and so the whole Crew of Slaves beginning on the Starboard-side made him fly so fast from Bench to Bench that poor Sancho lost the very Sight of his Eyes and verily believ'd all the Devils in Hell were carrying him away to rights Nor did the Slaves give over bandying him about till they had handed him in the same Manner over all the Larboard-side and then they set him down where they had taken him up but strangely disorder'd out of Breath in a cold Sweat and not truly sensible what it was that had happen'd to him Don Quixote seeing his Squire fly at this Rate without Wings ask'd the General if that were a Ceremony us'd to all Strangers aboard the Gallies
Never did Spaniard suffer more by Drake than our Knight of La Mancha by the Writer of that English-Spanish Quixote He has transform'd him worse than any of his own Magicians and handled him so ill that his Valor appears only passive so that in his Book he may truly be call'd the Knight of the ill-favor'd Face He has omitted a great number of entire Paragraphs a whole Story and several Papers of Verses chang'd the Sense ridicul'd the most serious and moving Passages remov'd all the scandalous places in London into the middle of Spain and all the Language of Billingsgate into the Mouths of Spanish Ladies and Noblemen He has confounded the Characters and the Countries and added a World of Obscenity and fribling Conceits He seems indeed to have let his Fancy run away with his Judgment and to be sure will plead Design for his Mistake and tell you plainly that he thought himself a Man of greater Parts than Cervantes and that his Piece is an Improvement not a Translation of Don Quixote Now I have so mean an Opinion of my Talent this way and so great a Veneration for the wonderful Genius of the Author that I fancy it the greatest Justice to my self to be just to him Not that 't is to be expected that a Work of this Nature can always admit of a literal or close Translation that wou'd be to make the Book unintelligible and not English In some places we have minded the Sense more than the Words some things having a Grace in one Language that wou'd not be lik'd in another That high sounding pompous way of Expression which becomes the Spanish cannot always look so well in our Tongue yet I hope every thing will appear to have an Air of the Original Tho our Spaniard speaks English he is still in his own Country and preserves his native Gravity and Port. When the Knight or the Historian discourse of matters of Chivalry you here will find their Expression dash'd with some antiquated or bombastic Words as Cervantes has done but no where else his Stile being polite and modern wherever the Author speaks or Men and Women of Sense are introduc'd So that it was necessary to do equal Justice to the English as well as to the Spanish to give a good Translation of this Work And I have found it exceedingly more difficult to do the first than the last notwithstanding the great Assistance I have receiv'd from the best Judges of both Languages Here I ought to own how much I am oblig'd to those worthy Gentlemen some of whom have not only supply'd me with their Advice but generously contributed otherwise to inable me to perfect this Vndertaking Among the first with all grateful Respect I make bold to mention the Honourable Colonel Codrington Colonel Stanhoppe Sir Henry Sheer William Aglionby Esq who oblig'd me with the Story of the Captive translated by him some years ago Thomas Sergeant Esq who has favour'd me with that of the Goatherd and some other Gentlemen who are not only Masters of the Spanish but of the Delicacies of our Tongue I have also Acknowledgments to pay to Mr. Wycherly Mr. Congreve Dr. Garth Dr. Pellet Thomas Cheek Esq Mr. Savage Mr. Thomas Brown and some other ingenious Friends not forgetting Don Bernardino Navarro at once a just Critic in his own Language and so good a Master of ours as to have made an excellent Grammar which will be printed in some time I am so far from denying the Helps I have receiv'd â—hat I would choose to magnify my Assistance to strengthen my Party against the Censorious I must own that I have made my advantage of the mistakes and Beauties of the former Translators and by imitating what was good and avoiding their Errors may possibly have made this a tolerable Translation Where I have fallen in with their Expression 't is sometimes by accident but oftner by design I have had the good fortune to be a little conversant with the Stage of which advantage my Predecessors in this Affair were destitute as may appear by their losing the Genius of Comedy which runs through the Author and which I have endeavour'd to maintain by avoiding all Improprieties of Speech Here I cannot forbear admiring his strange Art of moralizing with so facetious an Air. He has chosen to make his Book an exact Mirror of Mankind where every man may view his Face without any abuse but the silent Reflection of the Shadow as it naturally flows from the Substance This dumb sort of Instruction he was sensible must be very prevalent with the World since every body is fond of seeing their own face be it never so ugly In short his Book is in a manner a Dramatic Piece with great variety of Characters justly maintain'd by the nicest Rules of Art his Stile generally following the nature of the Subject and his Example is as just a Rule for the Stage as his Precepts What can be more full and comprehensive than the Humours of Sancho Any man with half the Squire 's Wit may read in this single Character the mean slavish and ungenerous Spirit of the Vulgar in all Countries and Ages a crouching Eâ—â—â— awkard Lying sordid Avarice sneeking Pity a natural Inclination to Knavery and a superstitious Devotion The whole Multitude in little The Antients had recourse to a supernatural many-headed Beast to express and signify the Rabble but he makes Nature spin the Web out of her own Bowels and shows us the Monster without frighting us with the Hydra The Character of Don Quixote must speak its own praise 't is an Original without a Precedent and will be a Pattern without a Copy its greatest fault was its too great Beauty by which some think it answer'd the Design too effectually Many men being still of opinion that the wonderful Declension of the Spanish Bravery and Greatness in this last Century may be attributed very much to his carrying the Jest too far by not only ridiculing their Romantic Love and Errantry but by laughing them also out of their Honour and Courage But that this was far from the Author's Design is very evident from his many noble Sentiments of Love and Honour through his Book The Ladies are infinitly oblig'd to him the Characters of the Fair Sex are generally virtuous He gives their Love all the moving Softness that can raise our Passions without offence to their Modesty He makes them love like Women but speak like Angels And we may gather from his favourable opinion of the fair Sex as much as by his Courtly Stile that he kept the best and noblest Company The Consideration of so many Graces in the Original were enough to make any Translator suspect his Ability for undertaking so great a Work but on the other hand so many Beauties are sufficient to entice any man to an imitation Magnis tamen excidit ausis was a noble excuse and the Attempt in a great Design is sometimes as laudable as succeeding
in a trifle I shou'd make a Complement to those Honorable Gentlemen whose Liberality has prov'd so substantial an Incouragement to me in this Vndertaking but I must change my note to an Apology for the smallness of the Edition and the best I can make is humbly to beg their Pardon I design'd it a handsom Folio with a fair Letter but there was a necessity of publishing this first Part of the Work immediately being inform'd that while it was supervising with all leisurely Care the Booksellers concerned in the old Translation had got it alter'd with all speed and resolv'd at any Rate to have it come out first I hope my generous Patrons will forgive a Delay which was the effect of my good Fortune I mean the Employment for which with all Thankfulness I am proud to own my self oblig'd to the great Mr. Mountague's Recommendation and the Favor of those noble Patriots Sir Robert Cotton and Sir Thomas Frankland This made the Bookseller think of casting this into four little portable Duodecimos and indeed there is this Reason for 't that the Book being more for Diversion than Study is therefore more proper for the Pocket than the Closet I have nothing more to add but the Names of those noble Encouragers of this Translation which I presume to insert in the Order they subscrib'd for my particular Benefit The Right Honorable Charles Mountague Esq The Honorable Colonel Codrington the Right Honorable the Earl of Dorset the Right Honorable Henry Lord Colerane the Honorable Hugh Hare Esq the Honorable Edward Coke Esq Richard Norton Esq Anthony Henly Esq Mr. John Freeman William Bridgman Esq his Grace the Duke of Devonshire the Right Honorable the Lady Vicountess of Weymouth the Honorable Henry Thynne Esq Sir Robert Worsely Bar. the Honorable H. Heveningham and J. Manners Esquires Sir John Smith Bar. the Right Hon. the Earl of Darwentwater the Hon. Charles Boyle Esq Sir Rich. Blackmore Charles Caesar Esq and Sir Godfrey Kneller THE Author's PREFACE TO THE READER YOU may depend on my bare Word Reader without any farther security that I cou'd wish this Offspring of my Brain were as ingenious sprightly and accomplish'd as your self cou'd desire but the mischief on 't is Nature will have its course Every Production must resemble its Author and my barren and unpolish'd Understanding can produce nothing but what is very dull very impertinent and extravagant beyond imagination You may suppose it the Child of Disturbance ingendred in some dismal Prison in the very seat of Wretchedness and amidst all manner of Inconveniences Rest and Ease a convenient Place pleasant Fields and Groves murmuring Springs and a sweet Repose of Mind are helps that raise the Fancy and impregnat even the most barren Muses with Conceptions that fill the World with Admiration and Delight Some Parents are so blinded by a Fatherl Fondness that they mistake the very Imperfections of their Children for so many Beauties and the Folly and Impertinence of the brave Boy must pass upon their Friends and Acquaintance for Wit and Sense But I who am only a Step-Father disavow the Authority of this modern and prevalent Custom nor will I earnestly beseech you with Tears in my Eyes which is many a poor Author's Case dear Reader to pardon or dissemble my Child's Faults For what Favour can I expect from you who are neither his Friend nor Relation You have a Soul of your own and the privilege of Free-will whoever you be as well as the proudest He that struts in a gaudy Outside You are a King by your own Fire-side as much as any Monarch in his Throne You have Liberty and Property which set you above Favor or Affection and may therefore freely like or dislike this History according to your humor I had a great mind to have expos'd it as naked as it was born without the addition of a Preface or the numberless Trumpery of commendatory Sonnets Epigrams and other Poems that usually usher in the Conceptions of Authors For I dare boldly say that tho I bestow'd some time in writing the Book yet it cost me not half so much labour as this very Preface I very often took up my Pen and as often laid it down and cou'd not for my life think of any thing to the purpose Sitting once in a very studious Posture with my Paper before me my Pen in my Ear my Elbow on the Table and my Cheek on my Hand considering how I should begin a certain Friend of mine an ingenious Gentleman and of a merry Disposition came in and surpriz'd me He ask'd me what I was so very intent and thoughtful upon I was so free with him as not to mince the matter but told him plainly that I had been puzling my Brain for a Preface to Don Quixote and that I had made my self so uneasy about it that I was now resolv'd to trouble my head no further either with Preface or Book but rather not to let the Atchievements of that noble Knight be publish'd For continu'd I why should I expose my self to the Lash of the old Legislator the Vulgar They will say that I have spent my youthful Days very finely to have nothing to recommend my Gray Hairs to the World but a dry insipid Legend not worth a rush wanting good Language as well as Invention barren of Conceits or pointed Wit and without either Quotations on the Margin or Annotations at the end which other Books tho never so fabulous and profane have to set 'em off Other Authors can pass upon the Public by stuffing their Books from Aristotle Plato and the whole Company of antient Philosophers thus amusing their Readers into a great opinion of their prodigious Reading Plutarch and Cicero are slur'd on the Publick for as Orthodox Doctors as St. Thomas or any of the Fathers And then the Method of these Moderns is so wounderfully agreeable and full of variety that they cannot fail to please In one Line they will describe you a whining amorous Coxcomb and the next shall be some dry Scrap of a Homily with such ingenious Turns as cannot chuse but ravish the Reader Now I want all these Embelishments and Graces I have neither marginal Notes nor critical Remarks I do not so much as know what Authors I follow and consequently can have no formal Index as 't is the fashion now methodically strung on the Letters of the Alphabet beginning with Aristotle and ending with Xenophon or Zoâ—lus or Zeuxis which two are commonly cram'd into the same Piece tho one of them was a famous Painter and t'other a saucy Critic I shall want also the pompous Preliminaries of commendatory Verses sent to me by the Right Honourable my Lord such a one by the Honourable the Lady such a one or the most ingenious Mr. such a one tho I know that I might have them at an easy rate from two or three Brothers of the Quill of my acquaintance and better I 'm sure than the best Quality
in Spain can compose In short my Friend said I the great Don Quixote may ly buried in the musty Records of La Mancha till Providence has order'd some better hand to fit him out as he ought to be for I must own my self altogether uncapable of the Task besides I am naturally lazy and love my ease too well to take the pains of turning over Authors for those things which I can express as well without it And these are the Considerations that made me so thoughtful when you came in The Gentleman after a long and loud Fit of laughing rubbing his Forehead O' my Conscience Friend said he your Discourse has freed me from a Mistake that has a great while impos'd upon me I always took you for a Man of sense but now I am sufficiently convinc'd to the contrary What! puzzled at so inconsiderable a Trifle A business of so little difficulty confound a man of such deep sense and searching thought as once you seem'd to be I 'm sorry Sir that your lazy Humour and poor Understanding shou'd need the Advice I am about to give you which will presently solve all your Objections and Fears concerning the publishing of the Renown'd Don Quixote the Luminary and Mirrour of all Knight-Errantry Pray Sir said I be pleas'd to instruct me in whatever you think may remove my Fears or solve my Doubts The first thing you object reply'd he is your want of Commendatory Copies from Persons of Figure and Quality There is nothing sooner help'd 'T is but taking a little pains in writing them your self and clapping whose Name you please to them You may father 'em on Prester John of the Indies or on the Emperour of Trepisond whom I know to be most celebrated Poets But suppose they were not and that some presuming Pedantick Criticks might snarl and deny this notorious Truth Why let them 't is no matter and tho they shou'd convict you of Forgery you are in no danger of losing the Hand with which you wrote them As to marginal Notes and Quotations from Authors for your History 't is but dropping here and there some scatter'd Latin Sentences that you have already by rote or may have with little or no Pains For example in treating of Liberty and Slavery clap me in Non bene pro toto libertas venditur auro And at the same time make Horace or some other Author vouch it in the Margin If you treat of the Power of Death come round with this close Pallida mors aequo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas regumque turres If of loving our Enemies as Heaven enjoins you may if you have the leaâ— Curiosity presently turn to the Divine Precept and say Ego auâ—em dico vobis diligite inimicos vestros Or if you discourse of bad Thoughts bring in this Passage De corde exeunt cogitationes mala If the Uncertaint of Friendship be your Theme Cato offers you his old Couplet with all his heart Donec eris felix multos numerabis amicos Tempora si fuerâ—nt nubda solus eris And so proceed These scraps of Latin will at least gain you the credit of a great Grammarian which I 'll assure you is no small Accomplishment in this Age. As to Annotations or Remarks at the end of your Book you may safely take this Course If you have occasion for a Giant in your Piece be sure you bring in Goliah and upon this very Goliah who will not cost you one Farthing you may spin out a swinging Annotation You may say The Giant Goliah or Goliat was a Philistine whom David the Shepherd slew with the thundering stroke of a Pebble in the Vally of Terebintho Vide Kings in such a Chapter and such a Verse where you may find it written If not satisfy'd with this you wou'd appear a great humanist and wou'd shew your Knowledg in Geography take some occasion to draw the River Tagus into your Discourse out of which you may fish a most notable Remark The River Tagus say you was so call'd from a certain King of Spain It takes its Rise from such a Place and buries its Waters in the Ocean killing first the Walls of the famous City of Lisbon and some are of opinion that the Sands of this River are Gold c. If you have occasion to talk of Robbers I can presently give you the History of Cacus for I have it by heart If you wou'd descant upon Whores or Women of the Town there is the * * Guevara Bishop of Mondonnedo who can furnish you with Lamia Lais and Flora Courtesans whose Acquaintance will be very much to your Reputation Ovid's Medea can afford you a good example of Cruelty Calipso from Homer and Circe out of Virgil are famous Instances for Witchcraft or Inchantment Wou'd you treat of valiant Commanders Julius Caesar has writ his Commentaries on purpose and Plutarch can furnish you with a thousand Alexanders If you wou'd mention Love and have but three Grains of Italian you may find Leon the Jew ready to serve you most abundantly But if you wou'd keep nearer home 't is but examining Fonseca of Divine Love which you have here in your Study and you need go no farther for all that can be said on that copious Subject In short 't is but quoting these Authors in your Book and let me alone to make large Annotations I 'll engage to croud your Margins sufficiently and scrible you four or five Sheets to boot at the end of your Book And for the Citation of so many Authors 't is the easiest thing in nature Find out one of these Books with an Alphabetical Index and without any farther Ceremony remove it verbatim into your own and tho the World won't believe that you have occasion for such Lumber yet there are Fools enough to be thus drawn into an opinion of the Work at least such a flourishing Train of Attendants will give your Book a ashionable Air and recommend it to sale for few Chapmen will stand to examine it and compare the Authoritys upon the Counter since they can expect nothing but their Labour for their Pains But after all Sir if I know any thing of the matter you have no occasion for any of these things for your Subject being a Satyr on Knight-Errantry is so absolutely new that neither Aristotle St. Basil nor Cicero ever dreamt or heard of it Those fabulous Extravagances have nothing to do with the impartial Punctuality of true History nor do I find any business you can have ither with Astrology Geometry or Logic â—â—d I hope you are too good a man to mix Sacred things with Prophane Nothing but pure Nature is your business her you must consult and the closer you can imitate your Picture is the better You have no need to hunt for Philosophical Sentences Passages out of Holy Writ Poetical Fables Rhetorical Orations or Miracles of Saints Do but take care to express your self in a plain easy manner in well
chosen significant and decent Terms and to give a harmonious and pleasing Turn to your Periods Study to explain your Thoughts and set 'em in the truest Light labouring as much as possible not to leave 'em dark nor intricate but clear and intelligible Let your diverting Stories be exprest in diverting Terms to kindle Mirth in the Melancholick and heighten it in the Gay Let Mirth and Humour be your superficial Design tho laid on a solid Foundation to challenge Attention from the Ignorant and Admiration from the Judicious to secure your Work from the Contempt of the graver sort and deserve the Praises of Men of Sense keeping your Eye still fixt on the principal end of your Project the fall and destruction of that monstrous Heap of ill-contriv'd Romances which tho abhor'd by manâ— have â—o strangely infatuated the greater part of Mankind Mind this and your â—uâ—ineâ—s is done I liâ—â—nd verâ— attentively to my Friend's Discourse and found it so reasonable and convincing that â—â—â—hout any reply I took his Advice and have â—d â—ou the Story by way of Preface wherâ—â—â— oâ— may 〈◊〉 Gentlemen how happy I am in â—oâ—â—gâ—nious 〈◊〉 Friend to whose seasonable Counsel yâ—u are aâ— oblig'd for the â—mission of all thâ—s Pedaâ—tic Garniture in the â—istory of the Renown'd Don Quixote de la Mancha whose Character among all the Neighbours aâ—â—uâ— Montiel is that he was the most chast over and the most valiant Knight that has been known in those Parts these many years I will not urge the Service I have done you by introducing you into so considerable and noble a Knight's Acquaintance but only beg the favour of some small Acknowledgment for recommending you to the familiarity of the famous Sancho Panâ— his Squire in whom in my opinion you will find united and describ'd all the scatter'd Endowments which the voluminous Foppery of Books of Knight-Errantry can afford to one of his Character And now I take my leave intreating you not to forget your humble Servant Advertisement THE two last Volumes will be publish'd very speedily to complete this Work THE Life and Atchievements Of the Renowned Don Quixote de la Mancha PART I. BOOK I. CHAP. I. The Quality and way of Living of the Renowned Don Quixote de la Mancha AT a certain Village in La Mancha which I shall not name there liv'd not long ago one of those old-fashion'd Gentlemen who are never without a Lance upon a Rack an old Target a lean Horse and a Grey-hound His Diet consisted more of Beef than Mutton and with Minc'd Meat on most Nights Lentils on Fridays Scraps and Penance on Saturdays and a Pidgeon extraordinary on Sundays he consum'd three quarters of his Revenue The rest was laid out in a Plush Coat Velvet Breeches with Slippers of the same for Holidays and a Suit of the very best home spun Cloath which he bestow'd on himself for Working-days His whole Family was a House-keeper something turn'd of forty a Niece not twenty and a Man that serv'd him in the House and in the Field and cou'd saddle a Horse and handle the Pruning-hook The Master himself was nigh fifty years of age of a hale and strong Complexion lean-body'd and thin-fac'd an early Riser and a Lover of Hunting Some say his Surname was Quixada or Quesada for Authors differ in this particular however we may reasonably conjecture he was call d Quixada tho this concerns us but little provided we keep strictly to truth in every point of this history You must know then that when our Gentleman had nothing to do which was almost all the year round he pass'd his time in reading Books of Knight-Errantry which he did with that application and delight that at last he in a manner wholly left off his Country Sports and even the care of his Estate Nay he grew so strangely besotted with those amusements that he sold many Acres of arable Land to purchase Books of that kind by which means he collected as many of 'em as were to be had But among them all none pleas'd him like the Works of the famous Feliciano de Silva For the clearness of his Prose and those intricate expressions with which 't is interlac'd seem'd to him so many Pearls of Eloquence especially when he came to read the Challenges and the amorous Addresses many of them in this extraordinary stile The Reason of your unreasonable usage of my Reason does so enfeeble my Reason that I have Reason to expostulate with your Beauty And this ' The Sublime Heavens which with your Divinity divinely fortifie you with the Stars and fix you the Deserver of the Desert that is deserv'd by your Grandeur These and such like Expressions strangely puzzled the poor Gentlemans understanding while he was breaking his Brain to unravel their meaning which Aristotle himself cou'd never have found tho he shou'd have been rais'd from the dead for that very purpose He did not so well like those dreadful wounds which Don Bellianis gave and receiv'd for he consider'd that all the Art of Surgery cou'd never secure his Face and Body from being strangely disfigur'd with Scars However he highly commended that Author for concluding his Book with a Promise of giving the remaining part of the unfinish'd Adventure and many times he had a desire to put Pen to Paper and faithfully finish it himself which he had certainly done and doubtless with good success had not his thoughts been wholly engross'd in much more important Designs He would often dispute with the * * In Spain the Curate is the head Priest in the Parish and he that has the cure of Souls Thus el Cura means the Rector or as the vulgar has it the Parson but the first not being commonly us'd and the last seeming too gross I chuse to make it Curate those who have read the former Translations being us'd to the word Curate of the Parish a man of Learning who had taken his Degrees at Ciguenca who was the better Knight Palmerin ef England or Amadis de Gaule But Master Nicholas the ††The Barber in Country Towns in Spain is also the Surgeon Barber of the same Town wou'd say that none of 'em cou'd compare with the Knight of the Sun and that if any one came near him 't was certainly Don Galaor the Brother of Amadis de Gaule for he was a man that would dispence with any Thing neither was he so finical nor such a puling whining Lover as his Brother and as for Courage he was not a jot behind him In fine he gave himself up so wholly to the reading of Romances that a nights he wou'd pore on till 't was Day and a Days he wou'd read on till 't was Night and thus by sleeping little and reading much the moisture of his Brain was exhausted to that degree that at last he lost the use of his Reason A world of disorderly notions pick'd out of his Books crowded into his imagination and
that ever were are or ever shall be seen in the Universe Good Sir reply'd the Husband-man do you not plainly perceive that I am neither Don Rodrigo de Narvaez nor the Marquis of Mantua but only a poor Sinner Pedro Alonso by name your Worships Neighbour Nor are you Baldwin nor Abindaraez but only that worthy Gentleman Senior Quixada I know very well who I am answer'd Don Quixote and what 's more I know that I may not only be the persons I have nam'd but also the Twelve Peers of France nay and the nine Worthies all in one since my Atchievements will out-rival not only the famous Exploits which made any of 'em singly Illustrious but all their mighty Deeds accumulated together Thus discoursing they at last got near their Village about Sun-set but the Country-man staid at some distance till 't was dark that the distressed Gentleman might not be seen so scurvily mounted and then he led him home to his own house which he found in great confusion The Curate and the Barber of the Village both of 'em Don Quixote's intimate acquaintance happen'd to be there at that juncture as also the House-keeper who was aguing with ' em What do you think pray good Doctor Perez said she for this was the Curates Name what do you think of my Masters mischance Neither he nor his Horse nor his Target Lance nor Armor have been seen these six days What shall I do wretch that I am I dare lay my Life and 't is as sure as I am a living Creature that those cursed Books of Errantry which he us'd to be always poring upon have set him besides his Sences for now I remember I have heard him often mutter to himself that he had a mind to turn Knight Errant and jaunt up and down the world to find out Adventures May Sathan and Barrabas e'en take all such Books that have thus crackt the best Head-piece in all La Mancha His Neice said as much addressing herself to the Barber You must know Mr Nicholas quoth she for that was his name that many times my Unkle wou'd read you those unconscionable Books of Disventures for eight and forty hours together then away he 'd throw you his Book and drawing his Sword he 'd fall a Fencing against the Walls and when he had tir'd himself with cutting and slashing he wou'd cry he had kill'd Four Giants as big as any Steeples and the sweat which he put himself into he wou'd say was the Blood of the Wounds he had receiv'd in the Fight then wou'd he swallow you a huge Jug of cold water and presently he 'd be as quiet and as well as e're he was in his life and he said that this same water was a sort of precious Drink brought him by the Sage * * Alquife Esquife a great Magician and his special Friend Now 't is I who am the Cause of of all this Mischief for not giving you timely notice of my Unkle's Raving that you might have put a stop to it e're 't was too late and have burnt all those excommunicated Books for there are I don't know how many of 'em that deserve as much to be burn'd as those of the rankest Hereticks I am of your mind said the Curate and verily to morrow shall not pass over before I have fairly brought 'em to a Tryal and condemn'd 'em to be burn'd that they may not minister occasion to such as wou'd read 'em to be perverted after the example of my good Friend The Country-man who with Don Quixote stood without listning to all this Discourse now perfectly understood by this the Cause of his Neighbor's disorder and therefore without any more ado he call'd our aloud Here House Open the Gates there for the Lord Baldwin and the Lord Marquis of Mantua who is coming sadly wounded and for the Moorish Lord Abindaraez whom the valorous Don Rodrigo de Narvaez Alcayde of Antequera brings Prisoner At which words they all got out of doors and the one finding it to be her Unkle and the other to be her Master and the rest their Friend who had not yet alighted from the Ass because indeed he was not able they all ran to embrace him to whom Don Quixote Forbear said he for I am sorely hurt by reason that my Horse failed me carry me to Bed and if it be possible let the Enchantress Vrganda be sent for to cure my wounds Now in the name of mischief quoth the House-keeper see whether I did not guess right on which Foot my Master halted Come get you to Bed I beseech you and my life for yours we 'll take care to cure you without sending for that same Vrganda A hearty Curse and the Curse of Curses I say it again and again a hundred times light upon those Books of Chivalry that have put you in this pickle Thereupon they carry'd him up to his Bed and search'd for his wounds but cou'd find none and then he told them he was only bruis'd having had a dreadful fall from his Horse Rozinante while he was fighting ten Giants the most outrageous and audacious that ever cou'd be found upon the face of the Earth How cry'd the Curate have we Giants too in combination against us Nay then may I forfeit my Habit if I don't burn 'em all by to morrow night Then did they ask the Don a thousand questions but to every one he made no other answer but that they shou'd give him something to eat and then leave him to his Repose a thing which was to him of greater importance They comply'd with his desires and then the Curate inform'd himself at large in what condition the Country-man had found him and having had a full account of every particular as also of the Knight's extravagant talk both when the Fellow found him and as he brought him home this encreas'd the Curate's desire of effecting what he had resolv'd to do the next morning At which time he call'd upon his friend Mr Nicholas the Barber and went with him to Don Quixote's house CHAP. VI. Of the pleasant and curious Survey which the Curate and the Barber took of the Library of our ingenious Gentleman THe Knight was yet asleep when the Curate came attended by the Barber and desired his Niece to let him have the Key of the Room where her Unkle kept his Books the authors of his Woes she readily consented and so in they went and the House-keeper with ' em There they found above a hundred large Volumes neatly bound and a good number of small ones As soon as the Housekeeper had spy'd 'em out she ran out of the Study and rerurn'd immediately with a Holy-water-pot and a Sprinkler Here Doctor cry'd she pray sprinkle every Creek and Corner in the Room lest there shou'd lurk in it some one of the many Sorcerers these Books swarm with who might chance to bewitch us for the ill will we bear 'em in going about to send 'em
still laughing he did it in these words This Dulcinea del Toboso so often mention'd in this History is said to have had the best hand at Salting of Pork of any Woman in all La Mancha I was surpriz'd when I heard him name Dulcinea del Toboso and presently imagin'd that those old Papers contain'd the History of Don Quixote This made me press him to read the Title of the Book which he did turning it thus extempore out of Arabick The History of Don Quixote de la Mancha written by Cid Hamet Benengely an Arabian Historiographer I was so overjoy'd when I heard the Title that I had much ado to conceal it and presently taking the Bargain out of the Grooms hands I agreed with the young man for the whole and bought that for half a Real which he might have sold me for twenty times as much had he but guess'd at the eagerness of his Chapman I immediately withdrew with my Purchase to the Cloyster of the great Church taking the Moor with me and desir'd him to translate me all those papers that treated of Don Quixote without adding or omitting the least word offering him any reasonable satisfaction He ask'd me but two * * An Arroba is about 32 l. weight Arrobes of Raisins and two Bushels of Wheat and promis'd me to do it faithfully with all expedition In short for the quicker dispatch and the greater security being unwilling to let such a lucky prize go out of my hands I took the Moor to my own house where in less than six weeks he finish'd the whole Translation Don Quixote's Fight with the Biscayan was exactly drawn on one of the leaves of the first quire in the same posture as we left 'em with their Swords lifted up over their heads the one guarding himself with his Shield the other with his Cushion The Biscayan's Mule was pictur'd so to the life that with half an eye you might have known it to be a hir'd Mule Under the Biscayan was written Don Sancho de Aspetia and under Rozinante Don Quixote Rozinante was so admirably delineated so slim so stiff so lank so lean so jaded with so sharp a Ridge-bone and altogether so like one wasted with an incurable Consumption that any one must have own'd at first sight that no Horse ever better deserv'd that name Not far off stood Sancho ††Paunch Panca holding his Ass by the Halter and at whose feet there was a crowl in which was written Sancho * * Haunches or rather Thigh-bones Cancas And if we may judge of him by his Picture he was thick and short paunch-belly'd and long-haunch'd so that in all likelihood for this reason he is sometimes call'd Panca and sometimes Cancas in the History There were some other niceties to be seen in that Piece but hardly worth observation as not giving any light into this true History otherwise they had not past unmention'd For none can be amiss so they be authentic I must only acquaint the Reader that if any objection is to be made as to the veracity of this 't is only that the Author is an Arabian and those of that Country are not a little addicted to Lying But yet if we consider that they are our Enemies we shou'd sooner imagine that the Author has rather supprest the Truth than added to the real worth of our Knight and I am the more inclinable to think so because 't is plain that where he ought to have inlarg'd upon his Praises he maliciously chuses to be silent A proceeding unworthy of an Historian who ought to be exact sincere and impartial free from passion and not to be byass'd either by interest fear resentment or affection to deviate from Truth which is the Mother of History the Preserver and Eternizer of great Actions the profest Enemy of Oblivion the Witness of things past and the Director of future Times As for this History I know 't will afford you as great variety as you cou'd wish in the most entertaining and if in any point it falls short of your expectation I am of opinion 't is more the fault of the unworthy Author than the subject and so let us come to the Second Book which according to our Translation began in this manner Such were the bold and formidable looks of the two enrag'd Combatants that with uplifted Arms and with destructive Steel they seem'd to threaten Heaven Earth and the Infernal Mansions while the spectators seem'd wholly lost in fear and astonishment The Cholerick Biscayan discharg'd the first blow and that with such a prodigious force and so desperate a fury that had not his Sword turn'd in his hand that single stroke had put an end to the dreadful Combat and all our Knights Adventures But Fate that reserv'd him for greater things so order'd it that his Enemy's Sword turn'd in such a manner that tho it struck him on the left Shoulder it did him no other hurt than to disarm that side of his head carrying away with it a great part of his Helmet and one half of his Ear which like a dreadful Ruin fell together to the ground Assist me ye Powers But 't is in vain The Fury which then engrost the Breast of our Hero of La Mahcha is not to be exprest words wou'd but wrong it for what colour of Speech can be lively enough to give but a slight Sketch or faint Image of his unutterable Rage Exerting all his Valour he rais'd himself upon his Stirrups and seem'd even greater than himself and at the same instant griping his Sword fast with both hands he discharg'd such a tremendous blow full upon the Biscayans Cushion and his Head that in spight of so good a defence as if a whole Mountain had faln upon him the Blood gusht out at his Mouth Nose and Ears all at once and he totter'd so in his Saddle that he had faln to the ground immediately had he not caught hold of the neck of his Mule But the dull Beast itself being rous'd out of its stupidity with that terrible blow began to run about the Fields and the Biscayan having lost his Stirrups and his hold with two or three winces the Mule shook him off and threw him on the ground Don Quixote beheld the disaster of his Foe with the greatest Tranquility and Unconcern imaginable and seeing him down slipt nimbly from his Saddle and running to him set the point of his Sword to his Throat and bid him yield or he wou'd cut off his Head The Biscayan was so stunn'd that he cou'd make him no reply so that Don Quixote had certainly made good his threats had not the Ladies in the Coach who with great uneasiness and fear had beheld these sad transactions hasten'd to beseech Don Quixote very earnestly to spare his life Truly Beautiful Ladies said the Victorious Knight with a great deal of loftiness and gravity I am willing to grant your Request but upon condition that this same
find himself where he might flatter his Ambition with the hopes of fresh Adventures to signalize his Valour for these vast Desarts made him call to mind the wonderful Exploits of other Knights-Errant perform'd in such Solitudes Fill'd with those airy Notions he thought on nothing else But Sancho was for more substantial Food and now thinking himself quite out of the reach of the holy Brotherhoods pursuit his only care was to fill his Belly with the Relicks of the Clerical Booty which Rozinante was now forc'd to carry and so trudging on after his Master he slily took out now one piece of Meat then another and kept his Grinders going faster than his Feet Thus plodding on he wou'd not have given a Rush to have met with any other Adventure While he was thus employ'd he observ'd that his Master endeavour'd to take up something that lay on the ground with the end of his Lance this made him run to help him to lift up the Bundle which proved to be a Portmanteau and the Seat of a Saddle that were half or rather quite rotted with lying expos'd to the Weather The Portmanteau was somewhat heavy and Don Quixote having order'd Sancho to see what it contain'd tho it was shut with a Chain and a Padlock he easily saw what was in it thro the Cracks and pull'd out four fine Holland Shirts and other clean and fashionable Linen besides a considerable quantity of Gold ty'd up in a Hankerchief Bless my Eye-sight quoth Sancho and now Heav'n I thank thee for sending us a lucky Adventure once â—n our Lives With that groping further in the Portmanteau he found a Table-Book richly bound Give me this said Don Quixote and do thou keep the Gold Heaven reward your Worship quoth Sancho kissing his Master's hand and at the same time clapping up the Linnen and the other Things into the Bag where he kept the Victuals I fancy said Don Quixote that some Person having lost his way in these Mountains has been met by Robbers who have murder'd him and buried his Body somewhere hereabouts Sure your Worship 's mistaken answer'd Sancho for had they been Highway-men they wou'd ne'r have left such a Booty behind ' em Thou' rt in the right reply'd Don Quixote and therefore I cannot imagin what it must be But stay I will examin the table-Table-Book perhaps we shall find something written in it that will help us to discover what I wou'd know With that he open'd it and the first thing he found was the following rough draught of a Sonnet fairly enough written to be read with ease So he read it aloud that Sancho might know what it was as well as himself The RESOLVE A Sonnet Love's God sure never knows our Pain Or Cruelty's his darling Attribute Else he 'd ne'r force me to complain And to his Spight my raging Pains impute But sure if Love's a God he must Have knowledg equal to his Pow'r And 't is a Crime to think a God unjust Whence then the Pains that now my Heart devour From Phillis No Why do I pause Such cruel Ills ne'r boast so sweet a Cause Nor from the Gods such Torments do we bear Let Death then quickly be my Cure When thus we Ills unknown endure 'T is shortest to despair The De'il of any thing can be pic'kd out of this quoth Sancho unless you can tell who that same Phill is I did not read Phill but Phillis said Don Quixote O then mayhap the Man has lost his Philly-foal Phillis said Don Quixote is the Name of a Lady that 's belov'd by the Author of this Sonnet who truly seems to be a pretty good Poet or I've but little Judgment Why then quoth Sancho belike your Worship understands how to make Varses too That I do answer'd Don Quixote and better than thou imagin'st as thou shalt see when I shall give thee a Letter written all in Verse to carry to my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso For I must tell thee Friend Sancho all the Knights-Errant or at least the greatest part of 'em in former times were great Poets and as great Musicians those two Qualifications or to speak better those two Gifts or Accomplishments being almost inseparable from amorous Adventurers Tho I must confess the Verses of the Knights in former Ages are not altogether so polite nor so adorn'd with Words as with Thoughts and Invention Good Sir quoth Sancho look again in the Pocket-Book mayhap you 'll find somewhat that will inform you of what you wou'd know With that Don Quixote turning over-leaf There 's some Prose cry'd he and I think 't is the sketch of a Love-Letter O good your Worship quoth Sancho read it out by all means for I mightily delight in hearing of Love-Stories Don Quixote read it aloud and found what follows THE Falshood of your Promises and my Despair hurry me from you for ever and you shall sooner hear the News of my Death than the Cause of my Complaints You have forsaken me ungrateful Fair for one more wealthy indeed but not more deserving than your abandon'd Slave Were Virtue a Treasure esteemed equal to its worth by your unthinking Sex I must presume to say I should have no reason to envy the Wealth of others and no Misfortune to bewail What your Beauty had rais'd your Infidelity has destroy'd The first made me mistake you for an Angel but the last has convinc'd me you'r a very Woman However O too lovely disturber of my Peace may uninterrupted Rest and downy Ease engross your happy Hours and may forgiving Heaven still keep your Husband's Perfidiousness conceal'd lest it should cause your repenting Heart a Sigh for the Injustice you have done to so faithful a Lover and so I should be prompted to a Revenge which I do not desire to take Farewel This Letter said Don Quixote does not give us any further insight into the Things we wou'd know all I can infer from it is that the Person that wrote it was a betray'd Lover And so turning over the remaining Leaves he found several other Letters and Verses some of which were legible and some so scribbled that he could not well peruse ' em As for those he read he cou'd meet with nothing in 'em but Accusations Complaints and Expostulations Distrusts and Jealousies Pleasures and Discontents Favours and Disdain And while the Knight was poring in the Table-Book Sancho was romaging the Portmanteau and the Seat of the Saddle with that exactness that he did not leave a Corner unsearch'd nor a Seam unript nor a single Lock of Wool unpickt for the Gold he had found which was above a hundred Ducats had but whetted his greedy Appetite and made him wild for more Yet tho this was all he cou'd find he thought himself well paid for the more than Herculean Labours he had undergone nor cou'd he now repine at his being toss'd in a Blanket the straining and griping Operation of the Balsam the Benedictions of the Packslaves and Leavers
I know her full well 't is a strapping Wench y' Faith and pitches the Bar vvith e're a lusty young Fellow in our Parish By â—he Mass 't is a notable strong-built sizable sturâ—y manly Lass and one that will keep her Chin â—ut of the Mire I vvarrant her nay and hold the best Knight-Errant to 't that vvears a head if e'er he venture upon her Body o' me vvhat a Voice she has vvhen she sets up her Throat I saw her one day pearch'd up o' top of our Steeple to call to some Plough-jobbers that labour'd in a fallow Field and tho they vvere half a League off they heard her as plain as if they had been in the Church-yard under her The best of her is that she 's neither coy nor frumpish she 's a tractable Lass and fit for a Courtier for she 'll play with you like a Kitten and jibes and jokes at every body And now in good truth Sir Knight of the Woful Countenance you may e'en play as many Gambols as you please you may run mad you may hang your self for her sake there 's no body but will say you e'en took the wisest course tho the Devil himself should carry you away a pick-apack Now am I e'en wild to be gone tho 't were for nothing else but to see her for I have not seen her this many a day I fancy I shall hardly know her again for a Woman's Face strangely alters by being always in the Sun and drudging and moiling in the open Fields Well I must needs own I 've been mightily mistaken all along for I durst have sworn this Lady Dulcinea had been some great Princess with whom you were in love and such a one as deserv'd those rare Gifts you bestow'd on her as the Biscayan the Gally-slaves and many others that for ought I know you may have sent her before I was your Squire I can't chuse but laugh to think how my Lady Aldonza Lorenzo my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso I shou'd have said wou'd behave hâ—r self shou'd any of those Men which you have sent or may send to her chance to go and fall down o' their Marrow-bones before her For 't is ten to one they may happen to find her a combing of Flax. or threshing in the Barn and then how finely balk'd they 'll be as sure as I 'm alive they must needs think the Devil ow'd 'em a shame and she her self will but flout 'em and mayhap be somewhat netled at it I have often told thee Sancho said Don Quixote and I tell thee again that thou ought'st to bridle or immure thy sawcy prating Tongue for tho thou art but a dull-headed Dunce yet now and then thy ill-manner'd Jests bite too sharp But that I may at once make thee sensible of thy Folly and my Discretion I will tell thee a short Story A handsom brisk young rich Widow happen'd to fall in Love with a well-set lusty * * Motillon a Lay-Brother or Servant in a Convent or College Lay-Brother His Superior hearing of it took occasion to go to her and said to her by way of charitable Admonition I mightily wonder Madam how a Lady of your Merit so admir'd for Beauty and for Sense and withal so Rich cou'd make so ill a choice and doat on a mean silly despicable Fellow as I hear you do while we have in our House so many Masters of Art Batchelors and Doctors of Divinity among whom your Ladyship might pick and chuse But she soon answer'd the officious grave Gentleman Sir said she with a smile you are much mistaken and think altogether after the old out-of-fashion-way if you imagine I have made so ill a choice for tho you fancy the Man 's a Fool yet as to what I take him for he knows as much or rather more Philosophy than Aristotle So Sancho as to the use which I make of the Lady Dulcinea she is equal to the greatest Princesses in the World Prethee tell me Dost thou think the Poets who every one of 'em celebrate the Praises of some Lady or other had all real Mistresses Or that the Amarillis's the Phillis's the Sylvia's the Diana's the Galatea's and the like which you shall find in so many Poems Romances Songs and Ballads upon every Stage and even in every Barber's Shop were Creatures of Flesh and Blood No no never think it for I dare assure thee the greatest part of 'em were nothing but the meer Imaginations of the Poets for a ground-work to exercise their Wits upon and to give the World occasion to look on the Authors as Men of an amorous and gallant Disposition and so 't is sufficient for me to imagine that Aldonza Lorenzo is beautiful and chast as for her Birth and Parentage they concern me but little for there 's no need to make an enquiry about a Woman's Pedigree as there is of us Men when some Badg of Honour is bestowed on us And so she 's to me the greatest Princess in the World For thou ought'st to know Sancho if thou know'st it not already that there are but two things that chiefly excite us to love a Woman an attractive Beauty and an unspotted Fame Now those two Endowments are happily reconcil'd in Dulcinea for as for the one she has not her equal and few can vie with her in the other But to cut off all Objections at once I imagin that all I say of her is really so without the least addition or diminution I fancy her to be just such as I wou'd have her for Beauty and Quality Helen cannot stand in competition with her Lucretia cannot rival her and all the Heroins which Antiquity has to boast whether Greeks Romans or Barbarians are at once out-done by her incomparable Perfections Therefore let the World say what it will shou'd the ignorant and vulgar foolishly censure me I please my self with the assurances I have of the approbation of Men of the strictest Morals and the nicest Judgment Sir quoth Sancho I knock under You 've Reason o' your side in all you say and I own my self an Ass Nay I 'm an Ass to talk of an Ass for 't is ill talking of Halters i' th House of a Man that was hang'd But where 's the Letter all this while that I may be jogging With that Don Quixote pull'd out the table-Table-Book and retiring a little aside he very seriously began to write the Letter which he had no sooner finish'd but he call'd Sancho and order'd him to listen while he read it over to him that he might carry it as well in his Memory as in the Pocket-Book in case he shou'd have the ill luck to lose it by the way for he fear'd the worse of his malignant Fortune But Sir quoth Sancho tear the Book and give me two or three Copies and then I 'll be sure to deliver my Message safe enough I warrant ye For 't is a folly to think I can ever get it by heart alas
a Fury rave And scourge and sting on ev'ry Part And into Madness lash his Slave Distant tho present in Idea I mourn my absent Dulcinea Del Toboso This ridiculous Addition of del Toboso made those who had found those Verses afterwards laugh heartily and they imagin'd that when Don Quixote made them he was afraid that those who should happen to read 'em would not understand on whom they were made shou'd he omit to mention the Place of his Mistress's Birth and Residence and this was indeed the true Reason as he himself afterwards confess'd With this Employment did our disconsolate Knight beguile some tedious hours Sometimes also he express'd his Sorrows in Prose sigh'd to the Winds and call'd upon the Sylvan Gods the Fauns the Naiades the Nymphs of adjoining Groves and the mournful Eccho imploring their Attention and Condolement with repeated Supplications at other Times he employ'd himself in gathering Herbs for the support of languishing Nature which decay'd so fast what with this slender Diet and what with his studied anxiety and intenseness of Thinking that had Sancho stay'd but three Weeks from him whereas by good Fortune he staid but three Days the Knight of the woful Countenance wou'd have been reduc'd to that meager and dismal Condition that his very Mother wou'd never have known the Child of her own Womb. But now 't is necessary we shou'd leave him awhile to his Sighs his Sobs and his amorous Expostulations and see how Sancho Panca behav'd himself in his Embassy He made all the haste he cou'd to get out of the Mountain and then taking the direct Road to Toboso the next Day he arriv'd near the Inn where he had been toss'd in a Blanket Scarce had he descry'd the fatal Walls but a sudden shivering seiz'd his Bones and he fancied himself to be again dancing in the Air so that he had a good mind to have rode further before he baited tho 't were Dinner time and his Mouth water'd strangely at the thoughts of a hot bit of Meat the rather as he had liv'd altogether upon cold Victuals for a long while This greedy longing drew him near the Inn in spight of his aversion to the Place but yet when he came to the Gate he had not the Courage to go in but stop'd there not knowing whether he had best enter or no. While he sate musing two men happen'd to come out and believing they knew him look cry'd one to the other is not that Sancho Panca whom the House-keeper told us her Master had inveigled to go along with him The same answer'd the other and more than that he rides on Don Quixote's Horse Now these two happen'd to be the Curate and the Barber who had brought his Books to a Trial and pass'd Sentence on 'em Therefore they had no sooner said this but they call'd to Sancho and ask'd him where he had left his Master The trusty Squire presently knew 'em and having no mind to discover his Master's Condition told 'em his Master was taken up with Business of great Consequence at a certain Place which he durst not discover for his Life No no Sancho Panca cry'd the Barber you must not think to put us off with a flim flam Story if you won't tell us where he is we shall believe you have murder'd him and robb'd him of his Horse therefore either satisfy us where you 've left him or we 'll have you lay'd by the Heels Look you Neighbour quoth Sancho I a'n't afraid of Words d'ye see I am neither a Thief nor a Manslayer I kill no Body so no Body kill me I leave every man to fall by his own Fortune or by the hand of him that made him As for my Master I left him a frisking and doing Penance in the midst of you Mountain to his heart 's Content After this without any further entreaty he gave 'em a full Account of that Business and of all their Adventures how he was then going from his Master to carry a Letter to my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso Lorenzo Corchuelo's Daughter with whom he was up to the ears in Love The Curate and the Barber stood amaz'd hearing all these particulars and tho they already knew Don Quixote's madness but too well they wonder'd more and more at the encrease of it and at so strange a Cast and variety of Extravagance Then they desir'd Sancho to show 'em the Letter He told 'em 't was written in a pocket-Pocket-Book and that his Master had order'd him to get it fairly transcrib'd upon Paper at the next Village he should come at Whereupon the Curate promising to write it out very fairly himself Sancho put his Hand in his Bosom to give him the Table-Book but tho he fumbled a great while for 't he could not find it there he look'd and look'd again but it had been all in vain tho he had search'd till Doom's-day for he came away from Don Quixote without it This put him into a cold Sweat and made him turn as pale as Death he fell a searching all his Clothes turn'd his Pockets inside outwards fumbled in his Bosom again but being at last convinc'd he had it not about him he fell a raving and stamping and cursing himself like a Madman he rent his Beard from his Chin with both hands befisted his own forgetful Scull and his blubber Cheeks and gave himself a bloody Nose in a Moment The Curate and the Barber ask'd him what was the matter with him and why he punish'd himself at that strange rate I deserve it all quoth Sancho like a buffle headed cockle brain'd Moon-calf as I am for losing at one Cast no less than three Asses whereof the least was worth a Castle How so quoth the Barber Why cry'd Sancho I 've lost that same table-Table-Book wherein was written Dulcinea's Letter and a Bill of Exchange drawn by my Master upon his Niece for three of the five Asses which he has at home and with that he told 'em how he had lost his own But the Vicar cheer'd him up and promis'd him to get him another Bill of Exchange from his Master written upon Paper whereas that in the Table Book not being in due form would not have been accepted With that Sancho took Courage and told 'em if it were so he car'd not a straw for the loss of Dulcinea's Letter for he knew it almost all by Rote Then prethee let 's hear it said the Barber and we 'll see and write it In order to this Sancho paus'd and began to study for the words presently he fell a scratching his thick Scull he stood first upon one Leg then upon another gap'd upon the Skies scowl'd upon the Ground knit his Brows rub'd his Forehead lay'd one hand upon his Eyes and bit his Nails with the other and at last after he had gnaw'd almost half of 'em and kept the Curate and the Barber a long while waiting to hear this rare Letter repeated odsnigs cry'd he good Mr.
and the Sea Ports which occasion'd the Blunder she had made by saying that she landed at Ossuna I perceiv'd it reply'd the Curare and therefore I put in what you heard which brought matters to rights again But is it not an amazing thing to see how ready this unfortunate Gentleman is to give credit to these fictitious Reports only because they have the Air of the extravagant Stories in Books of Knight-Errantry Cardenio said that he thought this so strange a Madness that he did not believe the Wit of Man cou'd devise any thing like it shou'd any one ever start the thought of such another The Gentleman reply'd the Curate has some Qualities in him ev'n as surprizing in a Madman as his unparallel'd Frenzy For take him but off from his Romantick Humour to discourse with him of any other Subject you will find him to handle it with a great deal of Reason and shew himself by his Conversation to have very clear and entertaining Conceptions Insomuch that if Knight-Errantry bears no relation to his Discourse there is no Man but will esteem him for his vivacity of Wit and strength of Judgment While they were thus discoursing Don Quixote prosecuting his Converse with his Squire Sancho said he let us lay aside all manner of Animosity and tell me as speedily as thou canst without any remains of thy last displeasure how when and where didst thou find my Lady Dulcinea What was she doing when thou first pay'st thy respects to her How didst thou express thy self to her What Answer was she pleas'd to make thee What Countenance did she put on at the perusal of my Letter Who transcrib'd it fairly for thee and every thing else which has any relation to this Affair without Addition Lies or Flattery On the other side take care thou losest not a Tittle of the whole matter by abbreviating it lest thou rob me of part of that delight which I propose to my self from it Sir answer'd Sancho if I must speak the truth and nothing but the truth no body copy'd out the Letter for me for I carry'd none at all That 's right cry'd Don Quixote for I found the pocket-Pocket-Book in which it was written two days after thy departure which occasion'd exceeding grief in me because I knew not what thou couldst do when thou found'st thy self without the Letter and I could not but be induc'd to believe that thou wouldst have return'd in order to take it with Thee I had certainly done so reply'd Sancho were it not for this Head of mine which kept it in Remembrance ever since your Worship read it to me and help'd me to say it over to a Parish-Clerk who writ it out for me word for word so purely that he swore tho' he had written out many a Letter of Excommunication in his time he never in all the days of his life had read or seen any thing so well spoken as it was And dost thou still retain the Memory of it my dear Sancho cry'd Don Quixote Not I quoth Sancho for as soon as I had giv'n it her and your turn was serv'd I was very willing to forget it But if I remember any thing 't is what was on the top and it was thus High and Subterrene I would say Soveraign Lady and at the bottom Yours untill Death The Knight of the Woful Figure and I put between these two things three hundred Souls and Lives and Pigsnyes CHAP. IV. The pleasant Dialogue between Don Quixote and his Squire continu'd with other Adventures ALL this is mighty well said Don Quixote proceed therefore You arriv'd and how was that Queen of Beauty then employ'd On my Conscience thou found'st her stringing of Orient Pearls or imbroideing some curious Device in Gold for me her Captive Knight was it not so my Sancho No faith answer'd the Squire I found her winnowing a parcel of Wheat very seriously in the back Yard Then said the Don you may rest assur'd that every Corn of that Wheat was a Grain of Pearl since she did it the honour of touching it with her Divine Hand Didst thou observe the quality of the Wheat was it not of the finest sort Very indifferent I thought said the Squire Well this it least you must allow it must make the finest whitest Bread if sifted by her white Hands but go on when you deliver'd my Letter did she kiss it Did she treasure it in her Bosom or what Ceremony did she use worthy such a Letter How did she behave her self Why truly Sir answer'd Sancho when I offer'd her the Letter she was very busy handling her Sieve and prithee honest Friend said she do so much as lay that Letter down upon the Sack there I can't read it till I have winnow'd out what 's in my hands O unparallel'd Discretion cry'd Don Quixote she knew that a Perusal requir'd leisure and therefore deferr'd it for her more pleasing and private Hours But on my Squire while she was thus employ'd what Conferences past what did she ask about her Knight and what did you reply Say all say all my dearest Sancho let not the smallest Circumstance scape thy Tongue speak all that Thought can frame or Pen describe Her Questions were easily answer'd Sir said Sancho for she ask'd me none at all I told her indeed in what a sad pickle I had left you for her sake naked to the Waste that you eat and slept like the Brute Beasts that you wou'd let a Rasor as soon touch your Throat as your Beard that you were still blubbering and crying or swearing and cursing your Fortune There you mistook reply'd Don Quixote I rather bless my Fortune and always shall while Life affords me Breath since I am thought to merit the esteem of so high a Lady as Dulcinea del Toboso There you hit it said Sancho she is a high Lady indeed Sir for she 's taller than I am by a Foot and a half Why how now Sancho said the Knight hast thou measur'd thy length with her Ay marry did I Sir said the Squire for you must know that she desir'd me to lend her a hand in lifting a Sack of Wheat on an Ass so we buckl'd about it and I came so close to her that I found she was taller than I by a full span at least Right answered Don Quixote but thou art also conscious that the uncommon Stature of her Person is adorn'd with innumerable Graces and Endowments of Soul but Sancho when you approach'd the charming She did not an Aromatick Smell strike thy Sense a Scent so Odoriferous pleasing and sweet as I want a Name for it sweet as you understand me as the richest Fragrancy diffus'd around a Perfumer's Magazine of Odours this at least you must grant me I did indeed feel a sort of Scent a little unsavory said Sancho somewhat vigorous or so for I suppose she had wrought hard and sweat somewhat plentifully 'T is false answer'd the Knight thy smelling has been debauch'd
these Matters The Gentleman only ask'd me a Question said she and it would be uncivil not to answer him Well said the Curate do me the favour good Landlord to bring out these Books that I may have a sight of them With all my Heart said the Inn-keeper and with that stepping to his Chamber he open'd a little Portmantle that shut with a Chain and took out three large Volumes with a parcel of Manuscripts in a fair legible Letter The Title of the first was Don Cirongilio of Thrace the second Felixmarte of Hircania and the third was the History of the Great Captain Gonçalo Hernandez de Corduba and the Life of Diego Garcia de Paredes bound together The Curate reading the Titles turn'd to the Barber and told him they wanted now Don Quixote's House-keeper and his Niece I shall do as well with the Books said the Barber for I can find the way to the Back-yard or the Chimney there 's a good Fire that will do their Business Business said the Inn-keeper I hope you wou'd not burn my Books Only two of them said the Curate this same Don Cirongilio and his Friend Felixmarte I hope Sir said the Host they are neither Hereticks nor Flegmaticks Schismaticks you mean said the Barber I mean so said the Inn-keeper and if you must burn any let it be this of Gonçalo Hernandez and Diego Garcia for you should sooner burn one of my Children than the others These Books honest Friend said the Curate that you appear so concern'd for are sensless Rhapsodies of Falshoods and Folly and this which you so despise is a true History and contains a true Account of two celebrated Men the first by his Bravery and Courage purchas'd immortal Fame and the Name of the Great General by the universal Consent of Mankind The other Diego Garcia de Paredes was of Noble Extraction and born in Truxillo a Town of Estremadura and was a Man of singular Courage and such mighty Strength that with one of his Hands he could stop a Mill-wheell in its most rapid Motion and with his single Force defended the Passage of a Bridge against a great Army Several other great Actions are related in the Memoirs of his Life but all with so much Modesty and unbiass'd Truth that they easily pronounce him his own Historiographer and had they been written by any one else with Freedom and Impartiality they might have eclips'd your Hector's Achilloses and Orlando's with all their Heroick Exploits That 's a fine Jest faith said the Inn-keeper my Father could have told you another Tale Sir Holding a Mill-wheel why is that such a mighty Matter one 's fish do but turn over a Leaf of Felixmarte there you 'll find how with one single Back-stroke he cut five swinging Giants off by the middle like so many Bean-stalks and read how at other time he Charg'd a most Mighty and Powerful Army of above a Million and Six hundred thousand fighting Men all Arm'd Cap-a-pee and Routed them all like so many Sheep And what can you say of the Worthy Cirongilio of Thrace who as you may read there going by Water one Day was assaulted by a fiery Serpent in the middle of the River he presently leap'd nimbly upon her Back and hanging by her Scaly Neck grasp'd her Throat fast with both his Arms so that the Serpent finding her self almost strangl'd was forc'd to dive into the Water to save her self and carry'd the Knight who would not quit his hold to the very bottom where he found a Stately Palace and such pleasant Gardens that 't was a wonder and strait the Serpent turn'd into a very old Man and told him such things as were never heard nor spoken Now a Fig for your great Captain and your Diego Garcia Cardenio and Dorothea hearing the vehemence of his Discourse imagin'd that he wou'd make another Don Quixote I tell thee Friend said the Curate there were never any such Persons as your Books of Chivalry mention upon the Face of the Earth your Felixmarte of Hircania and your Cirongilio of Thrace are all but Chimeras and Fictions of idle and luxuriant Wits who wrote them for the same Reason that you read them because they had nothing else to do Sir said the Inn-keeper you must Angle with another Bait or you 'll catch no Fish I know what 's what as well as another I can tell where my own Shooe pinches me and you must not think Sir to catch old Birds with Chaff 't is a pleasant Jest faith that you should pretend to perswade me now that these notable Books are Lies and Stories why Sir are they not in Print Are they not Publish'd according to Order Licens'd by Authority from the Privy Council And do you think that they would permit so many Lies to be Printed at once and such a Number of Battels and Enchantments to set us all a madding I have told you already Friend reply'd the Curate that this is Licens'd for our Amusement in our idle Hours for the same Reason that Tennis Billiards Chess and other Recreations are tolerated that Men may find a Pastime for those hours they cannot find Imployment for Neither could the Government foresee this Inconvenience from such Books that you urge because they could not reasonably suppose any Rational Person would believe their Absurdities And were this a proper time I could say a great deal in Favour of such Writings and how with some Regulations they might be made both instructive and diverting but I design upon the first Opportunity to communicate my thoughts on this Head to some that may Redress it In the mean time honest Landlord you may put up your Books and believe them true if you please and much good may do you And I wish you may never have the same blind side with your Guest Don Quixote There 's no fea◠of that said the Inn-keeper for I never design to turn Knight-Errant because I find the Customs that supported that Noble Order are quite out of Doors About the middle of their Discourse enter'd Sancho whom their Conversation especially on the Curate's side made very uneasie he resolv'd however in spight of all their Contempt of Chivalry still to stick by his Master and if his intended Expedition fail'd of Success then to return to his Family and Plough As the Inn-keeper was carrying away the Books the Curate desir'd his leave to look over those Manuscripts which appeared in so fair a Character he reach'd them to him to the number of eight Sheets on one of which there was written in a large Hand The Novel of the curious Impertinent The Title said the Curate promises something perhaps it may be worth reading through your Reverence said the Inn-keeper may be worse employ'd for those Papers have receiv'd the Approbation of several ingenious Guests of mine that read them and who would have begg'd them of me but I would by no means part with them till I deliver them to the Owner of
Brass and time-surviving Marble till Envy grows tir'd with Labouring to deface his Fame and Malice to conceal ' em The Canon hearing the Prisoner and his Guard talk thus in the same Style was in amaze and bless'd himself for wonder as did the rest of the Company till Sancho Pança coming up to mend the Matter Look ye Sirs said he I will speak the truth take it well or take it ill My Master here is no more inchanted than my Mother He 's in his sober Sences he eats and drinks and does his Needs like other Folks and as he us'd to do and yet you 'll perswade me that a Man who can do all this is inchanted forsooth he can speak too for if you 'll let him alone he 'll prattle you more than thirty Attorneys Then turning towards the Curate O Mr. Curate Mr. Curate continu'd he do you think I don't know you and that I don't guess what all these new Inchantments drive at Yes I do know you well enough for all you hide your Face and understand your Design for all your sly Tricks Sir But 't is an old Saying There 's no striving against the Stream and the Weakest still goes to the Wall The Devil take the luck on 't had not your Reverence spoil'd our sport my Master had been marry'd before now to the Princess Micomicona and I had been an Earl at least nay that I was sure of had the worst come to the worst but the old Proverb is true again Fortune turns round like a Mill Wheel and he that was yesterday at the top lyes to day at the bottom I wonder Mr. Curate you that are a Clergyman shou'd not have more Conscience consider Sir that I have a Wife and Family who expect all to be great Folks and my Master here is to do a World of good Deeds and don 't you think Sir that you won't be made to answer for all this one day Snuff me those Candles said the Barber hearing Sancho talk at this rate What Fool are you brainsick of your Master's Disease too if you be you 're like to bear him Company in his Cage I 'll assure you Friend What inchanted Island is this that floats in your Scull or what Succubus has been riding thy Fancy and got it with Child of these Hopes With Child Sir what dy' e mean Sir said Sancho I scorn your Words Sir the best Lord in the Land shou'd not get me with Child no not the King himself Heaven bless him For tho' I 'm a poor Man yet I 'm an honest Man and an old Christian and don 't owe any Man a Farthing and tho' I desire Islands there are oâ—her Folks not far off that desire worse things Every one is the Son of his own Works I am a Man and may be Pope of Rome much sooner Governour of an Island especially considering my Master may gain so many as he may want Persons to bestow 'em on Therefore pray Mr. Barber take heed what you say for all consists not in shaving of Beards and there 's some difference between a Hawk and a Hand-saw I say so because we all know one another and no Body shall put a false Card upon me As to my Master's Inchantment let it stand as it is Heaven knows best and a Stink is still worse for the stirring The Barber thought Silence the best way to quiet Sancho's Impertience and the Curate doubting that he might spoil all intreated the Canon to put on a little before and he wou'd unfold the Mistery of the encag'd Knight which perhaps he would find one of the pleasantest Stories he had ever heard The Canon rid forward with him and his Men follow'd while the Curate made them a Relation of Don Quixote's Life and Quality and Madness and Adventures with the original Cause of his Distraction and the whole Progress of his Adventures till his being shut up in the Cage to get him home in order to have him cur'd They all admir'd at this strange Account and then the Canon turning to the Curate Believe me Mr. Curate said he I am fully convinc'd that these they call Books of Knight-Errantry are very prejudicial to the Publick And tho' I have been led away by an idle and false Pleasure to read the beginnings of almost as many of 'em as have been Printed I could never yet perswade my self to go through with any one to the end for to me they all seem to contain one and the same thing and there is as much in one of them as in all the rest The whole Composition and Style resemble that of the Milesian Fables which are a sort of idle Stories design'd only for Diversion and not for Instruction It is not so with those Fables which are call'd Apologues that at once delight and instruct But tho' the main design of such Books is to please yet I cannot conceive how it is possible they should perform it being fill'd with such a multitude of unaccountable Extravagancies For the Pleasure which strikes the Soul must be deriv'd from the Beauty and Congruity it sees or conceives in those things the Sight or Imagination lays before it and nothing in it self deformed or incongruous can give us any real Satisfaction Now what Beauty can there be or what Proportion of the Parts to the whole or of the whole to the several Parts in a Book or Fable where a Stripling at Sixteen Years of Age at one Cut of a Sword cleaves a Giant as tall as a Steeple through the middle as easily as if he were made of Pastboard Or when they give us the Relation of a Battle having said the Enemy's Power consisted of a Million of Combatants yet provided the Hero of the Book be against them we must of necessity tho' never so much against our Inclination conceive that the said Knight obtain'd the Victory only by his own Valour and the Strength of his powerful Arm And what shall we say of the great ease and facility with which an absolute Queen or Empress casts her self into the Arms of an Errant and unknown Knight What Mortal not altogether barbarous and unpolish'd can be pleas'd to read that a great Tower full of armed Knights cuts through the Sea like a Ship before the Wind and setting out in the Evening from the Coast of Italy lands by break of Day in Prester John's Country or in some other never known to Ptolomy or discover'd by Columbus If it should be answer'd That those Persons who Compose these Books write them as confess'd Lies and therefore are not oblig'd to observe Niceties or have regard to Truth I shall make this Reply That False-hood is so much the more commendable by how much it more resembles Truth and is the more pleasing the more it is doubtful and possible Fabulous Tales ought to be suited to the Reader 's Understanding being so contriv'd that all Impossibilities ceasing all great Accidents appearing easie and the Mind wholly hanging in
suspence they may at once surprize astonish please and divert so that Pleasure and Admiration may go Hand in Hand This cannot be perform'd by him that flies from Probability and Imitation which is the Perfection of what is written I have not yet seen any Book of Knight-Errantry that composes an entire Body of a Fable with all its Parts so that the middle is answerable to the beginning and the end to the beginning and middle but on the contrary they form them of so many Limbs that they rather seem to design a Chimera or Monster than a well proportion'd Figure Besides all this their Style is uncouth their Exploits incredible their Love immodest their Civility impertinent their Battels tedious their Language absurd their Voyages preposterous and in short they are altogether void of solid Ingenuity and therefore fit to be banish'd a Christian Commonwealth as useless and prejudicial The Curate was very attentive and believ'd him a Man of a sound Judgment and much in the right in all he had urg'd and therefore told him That he being of the same Opinion and an Enemy to Books of Knight-Errantry had burnt all that belong'd to Don Quixote which were a considerable number Then he recounted to him the scrutiny he had made among them what he had condemn'd to the Flames and what spar'd at which the Canon laugh'd heartily and said That notwithstanding all the harm he had spoken of those Books yet he found one good thing in them which was the Subject they furnish'd a Man of Understanding with to exercise his Parts because they allow a large Scope for the Pen to dilate without any check describing Shipwrecks Storms Skirmishes and Battles representing to us a brave Commander with all the Qualifications requisite in such a one shewing his Prudence in disappointing the Designs of the Enemy his Eloquence in persuading or dissuading his Souldiers his Judgment in Council his Celerity in Execution and his Valour in assailing or repulsing an Assault laying before us sometimes a dismal and melancholly Accident sometimes a delightful and unexpected Adventure in one place a beautiful modest discreet and reserv'd Lady in another a Christian-like brave and courteous Gentleman here a boisterous inhuman boasting Ruffian there an affable warlike and wise Prince lively expressing the Fidelity and Loyalty of Subjects Generosity and Bounty of Sovereigns He may no less at times make kown his Skill in Astrology Cosmography Musick and Policy and if he pleases he cannot want an Opportunity of appearing knowing even in Necromancy He may describe the Subtilty of Ulysses the Piety of Aeneas the Valour of Achilles the Misfortunes of Hector the Treachery of Sinon the Friendship of Euryalus the Liberality of Alexander the Valour of Caesar the Clemency and Sincerity of Trajan the Fidelity of Zopyrus the Prudence of Cato and in fine all those Actions that may make up a compleat Hero sometimes attributing them all to one Person and at other times dividing them among many This being so perform'd in a grateful Stile and with ingenious Invention approaching as much as possible to Truth will doubtless compose so beautiful and various a Work that when finish'd its Excellency and Perfection must attain the best end of Writing which is at once to delight and instruct as I have said before For the loose Method practis'd in these Books gives the Author liberty to play the Epick the Lyrick and the Dramatick Poet and to run through all the other parts of Poetry and Rhetorick for Epicks may be as well writ in Prose as in Verse CHAP. XXI Containing a Continuation of the Canon's Discourse upon Books of Knight-Errantry and other curious Matters YOU are much in the right Sir reply'd the Curate and therefore those who have hitherto publish'd Books of that Kind are the more to be blam'd for having had no Regard to good Sense Art or Rules by the Observation of which they might have made themselves as famous in Prose as the two Princes of the Greek and Latin Poetry are in Verse I must confess said the Canon I was once tempted to write a Book of Knight-Errantry my self observing all those Rules and to speak the Truth I writ above an hundred Pages which for a better Tryal whether they answered my Expectation I communicated to some Learned and Judicious Men fond of those Subjects as well as to some of those ignorant Persons who only are delighted with Extravagancies and they all gave me a satisfactory Approbation And yet I made no farther Progress as well in regard I look upon it to be a thing no way agreeable with my Profession as because I am sensible the Illiterate are much more numerous than the Learned and tho' it is better to be commended by the small Number of the Wise than scorn'd by the ignorant Multitude yet I will not expose my self to the Censure of the giddy Vulgar whose principal Business it is to read such Books But the greatest Motive I had to lay aside and think no more of finishing it was an Argument I form'd to my self deduc'd from the Plays now usually acted For thought I if Plays now in use as well those which are altogether of the Poet's Invention as those that are grounded upon History be all of them or at least the greatest part made up of most absurd Extravagancies and Incoherences and yet the Multitude sees them with Satisfaction esteems and approves them tho' they are so far from being good if the Poets who write and the Players who act them say they must be so contriv'd and no otherwise because they please the Generality of the Audience and if those which are regular and according to Art serve only to please half a score judicious Persons who understand them whilst the rest of the Company cannot reach the Contrivance and therefore the Poets and Actors say they had rather get their Bread by the greater Number than the Applause of the less Then may I conclude the same will be the Success of this Book so that when I have rack'd my Brain to observe the Rules I shall reap no other Advantage than to be laugh'd at for my Pains I have sometimes endeavour'd to convince the Actors that they are deceiv'd in their Opinion and that they will draw more Company and get better Credit by regular Plays than by those preposterous Representations now in use but they are so positive in their Humour that no Strength of Reason nor even Demonstration can divert them from their Conceit I remember I once was talking to one of those obstinate Fellows Do you not remember said I that within these few Years three Tragedies were acted in Spain written by a famous Poet of ours which were so excellent that they surpriz'd delighted and rais'd the Admiration of all that saw them as well the Ignorant as the Judicious and the Actors got more by those three than by thirty of the best that have been writ since Doubtless Sir said the Actor
a Crow and hourly expected in his Kingdom Some also may presume to say that the History of Guerino Meschino and that of the Search after the Sangrial are both false that the Amours of Sir Tristan and Queen Iseo are Apocryphal as well as those of Queen Guiniver and Sir Lancelot du Lake and yet there are People living who can almost remember they have seen the old Lady Quintanona who had the best Hand at filling a Glass of Wine of any Woman in all Britain This I am so well assur'd of that I can remember my Grandmother by my Father's Side whenever she saw an old Governante in her long Gown us'd to tell me Look yonder Grandson there 's an old Woman looks like Dame Quintanona whence I infer she knew her or at least had seen her Picture Now who can deny the Veracity of the History of Pierres and the lovely Magalona when to this Day the Pin with which the brave Pierres turn'd his wooden Horse that carry'd him through the Air is to be seen in the King's Armory which Pin is somewhat bigger than the Thill of a Waggon by the same Token it stands just by Babieca's Saddle At Roncesvalles they keep Orlando's Horn that is as big as a great Beam whence it follows that there were Twelve Peers that there were such Men as Pierres and the famous Cid besides many other adventurous Knights whose Names are in the Mouths of all People You may as well tell me that the brave Portugues John de Merlo was no Knight-Errant that he did not go into Burgundy where in the City of Ras he fought the famous Moses Pierre Lord of Chargny and in the City of Basil Moses Henry de Ramestan coming off in both Places victorious and loaded with Honour You may deny the Adventures and Combats of the two heroick Spaniards Pedro Barba and Gutierre Quixada from whose Male Line I am lineally descended who in Burgundy overcame the Sons of the Earl of St. Paul You may tell that Don Ferdinand de Guevara never went into Germany to seek Adventures where he fought Sir George a Knight of the Duke of Austria's Court. You may say the Tilting of Suero de Quinnones del Passo and the Exploits of Moses Lewis de Falses against Don Gonzalo de Guzman a Castilian Knight are meer Fables and so of many other brave Actions perform'd by Christian Knights as well Spaniards as Foreigners which are so authentick and true that I say it over again he who denies them has neither Sense nor Reason The Canon was astonish'd at the Medley Don Quixote made of Truths and Fables and no less to see how well-read he was in all things relating to the Atchievements of Knights-Errant and therefore I cannot deny Sir answer'd he but that there is some Truth in what you have said especially in what relates to the Spanish Knights-Errant and I will grant there were Twelve Peers of France yet I will not believe they perform'd all those Actions Archbishop Turpin ascribes to them I rather imagine they were brave Gentlemen made Choice of by the Kings of France and call'd Peers as being all equal in Valour and Quality or if they were not at least they ought to have been so and these compos'd a sort of military Order like those of Sant Jago or Calatrava among us into which all that are admitted are suppos'd or ought to be Gentlemen of Birth and known Valour And as now we say a Knight of St. John or of Alcantara so in those Times they said A Knight who is one of the Twelve Peers because they were but Twelve of this military Order Nor is it to be doubted but that there were such Men as Bernardo del Carpio and the Cid yet we have Reason to question whether ever they perform'd those great Exploits that are ascrib'd to them As to the Pin Count Plerreâ—'s Pin which you spoke of and which you say stands by Babieca's Saddle I own my Ignorance and confess I am so short-sighted that tho' I saw the Saddle yet I did not perceive the Pin which is somewhat strange if it be so large as you describ'd it 'T is there without Doubt reply'd Don Quixote by the same Token they say it is kept in a Leathern Case to keep it from rusting That may very well be said the Canon but upon the Word of a Priest I do not remember I ever saw it Yet grant it were there that does not enforce the Belief of so many Amadises nor of such a Multitude of Knights-Errant as the World talks of nor is there any Reason so worthy a Person so judicious and so well qualify'd as you are shou'd imagine there is any Truth in the wild Extravagancies contain'd in all the fabulous nonsensical Books of Knight-Errantry CHAP. XXIII The notable Dispute between the Canon and Don Quixote with other Matters VERY well cry'd Don Quixote then all those Books must be Fabulous tho' licens'd by Kings approv'd by the Examiners read with general Satisfaction and applauded by the better sort and the meaner rich and poor learned and unlearned gentry and commonalty and in short by all sorts of Persons of what State and Condition soever and tho' they carry such an Appearance of Truth setting down the Father Mother Country Kindred Age Place and Actions to a tittle and day by day of the Knight and Knights of whom they treat For shame Sir continu'd he forbear uttering such Blasphemies and believe me I advise you to behave your self as becomes a Man of Sense or else read them and see what Satisfaction you will receive As for Instance pray tell me can there be any thing more delightful than to read a lively Description which as it were brings before your Eyes the following Adventure A vast Lake of boiling Pitch in which an infinite multitude of Serpents Snakes Crocodiles and other sorts of fierce and terrible Creatures are swimming and traversing backwards and forwards appears to a Knight-Errant's Sight Then from the midst of the Lake a most doleful Voice is heard to say these Words O Knight whoever thou art who gazest on the dreadful Lake if thou wilt purchase the Bliss conceal'd under these mournful Waters make known thy Valour by casting thy self into the midst of these black burning Surges for unless thou dost so thou art not worthy to behold the mighty Wonders enclos'd in the seven Castles of the seven Fairies that are seated under these gloomy Waves And no sooner have the last Accents of the Voice reach'd the Knight's Ears but be without making any further Reflection or considering the Danger to which he exposes himself and even without laying aside ponderous Armour only recommending himself to Heaven and to his Lady plunges himself into the middle of the burning Lake and when least he imagines it or can guess where he shall stop he finds himself on a sudden in the midst of verdant Fields to which the Elisian bear no Comparison There the Sky appears
Leave Sir Who was the first Tumbler in the World Truly Friend answer'd the Student that 's a Point I cannot resolve you without consulting my Books but as soon as ever I get home I will study Night and Day to find it out For two fair Words quoth Sancho I 'll save you that Trouble Can you resolve that Doubt ask'd the Author Ay marry can I said Sancho The first Tumbler in the World was Lucifer when he was cast out of Heaven he tumbl'd into Hell You are positively in the right said the Scholar Where did you get that Sancho said Don Quixote For I dare swear 't is none of your own Mum quoth Sancho In asking of foolish Questions and selling of Bargains let Sancho alone quo I I don't want the help of my Neighbours Truly said Don Quixote thou hast given thy Question a better Epithet than thou art aware of For there are some Men who busy their Heads and lose a World of Time in making Discoveries the Knowledge of which is good for nothing in Nature unless it be to make the Discoveries Laugh'd at With these and such diverting Discourses they pass'd their Journey till they came to the Cave the next Day having lain the Night before in a considerable Village on the Road. There they brought a hundred Fathom of Cordage to hang Don Quixote by and let him down to the lowest part of the Cave he being resolv'd to go to the very Bottom were it as deep as Hell The Mouth of it was inaccessible being quite stopp'd up with Weeds Bushes Brambles and wild Fig-Trees tho' the Entrance was wide and spacious Don Quixote was no sooner come to the Place but he prepar'd for his Expedition into that Under-World telling the Scholar that he was resolv'd to reach the Bottom tho' as deep as the profound Abyss and all having alighted his Squire and his Guide accordingly girt him fast with the Rope While this was doing good sweet Sir quoth Sancho consider what you do Don't venture into such a cursed Black Hole Look before ye Leap Sir and be not so wilful as to Bury your self Alive Don't hang your self like a Bottle or a Bucket that 's let down to be sous'd in a Well Alack a day Sir 't is none of your Business to pry thus into every Hole and go down to the Pit of Hell for the nonce Peace Coward said the Knight and bind me fast for purely for me such an Enterprize as this is reserv'd Pray Sir said the Student when you are in be very Vigilant in exploring and observing all the Rarities in the Place Let nothing ' scape you Eyes perhaps you may discover there some things worthy to be inserted in my Metamorphosis Let him alone quoth Sancho he 'll go thro' stich with it He 'll make a Hog or a Dog of it I 'll warrant you Don Quixote being well bound not over his Armour but his Doublet bethought himself of one thing they had forgot We did ill said he not to provide our selves of a little Bell that I should have carried down with me to Ring for more or less Rope as I may have occasion for and inform you of my being Alive But since there is no Remedy Heaven Prosper me Then Kneeling down he in a low Voice recommended himself to the Divine Providence for Assistance and Success in an Adventure so strange and in all appearance so Dangerous Then raising his Voice O thou Mistress of my Life and Motions cry'd he most Illustrious and Peerless Dulcinea Del Toboso if the Prayers of an adventurous absent Lover may reach the Ears of the far distant object of his Wishes by the Power of thy unspeakable Beauty I conjure thee to grant me thy Favour and Protection in this Plunge and Precipice of my Fortune I am now going to Ingulph and cast my self into this dismal Profundity that the World may know nothing can be impossible to him who influenc'd by thy Smiles attempts under the Banner of thy Beauty the most difficult Tasks This said he got up again and approaching the Entrance of the Cave he found it stopp'd up with Brakes and Bushes so that he must be oblig'd to make his Way by Force Whereupon drawing his Sword he began to cut and slash the Weeds that stopp'd up the Mouth of the Cave when presently an infinite number of overgrown Crows and Daws came rushing and fluttering out of the Cave about his Ears so thick and with such an Impetuosity as over-whelm'd him to the Ground He was not Superstitious enough to draw any ill Omen from the Flight of the Birds besides 't was no small Encouragement to him that he spy'd no Batts nor Owls nor other ill-boding Birds of Night among them He therefore rose again with an undaunted Heart and commited himself to the black and dreadful Abyss But Sancho first gave him his Benediction and making a Thousand Crosses over him Heaven be thy Guide quoth he and our * * Several Places of Devotion Lady of the Rock in France with the Trinity of Gaeta thou Flower and Cream and Scum of all Knight-Errants Go thy Ways thou Hacker of the World Heart of Steel and Arms of Brass And may'st thou come back Sound Wind and Limb out of this dreadful Hole which thou art running into once more to see the warm Sun which thou art leaving The Scholar too Pray'd to the same Effect for the Knight's Happy Return Don Quixote then call'd for more Rope which they gave him by degrees till his Voice was drown'd in the windings of the Cave and their Cordage was run out That done they began to consider whether they shou'd hoist him up again immediately or no however they resolv'd to stay half an Hour and then they began to draw up the Rope but were strangely surpriz'd to find no Weight upon it which made 'em conclude the poor Gentleman was certainly lost Sancho bursting out into Tears made a heavy Lamentation and fell a haling up the Rope as fast as he cou'd to be thoroughly satisfy'd But after they had drawn up about fourscoure Fathoms they felt a Weight again which made 'em take Heart and at length they plainly saw Don Quixote Welcome cry'd Sancho to him as soon as he came in Sight Welcome dear Master I 'm glad you 're come again we were afraid you had been Pawn'd for the Reckoning But Sancho had no Answer to his Compliment and when they had pull'd the Knight quite up they found that his Eyes were clos'd as if he had been fast asleep They laid him on the Ground and unbound him Yet he made no sign of Waking and all their turning and shaking was little enough to make him come to himself At last he began to stretch his Limbs as if he had waken'd out of the most profound Sleep and staring wildly about him Heavens forgive you Friends cry'd he for you have rais'd me now from one of the sweetest Lives that ever Mortal led and most
this Point of Governing is to make a good Beginning I 'll lay my Life that as simple as Sancho sits here in a Fortnight's Time he 'll manage ye this same Island as tightly as a Sheaf of Barley You say well Sancho said the Dutchess for Time ripens all things No Man 's born wise Bishops are made of Men and not of Stones But to return once more to the Lady Dulcinea I am more than half perswaded that Sancho's Design of putting the Trick upon his Master was turn'd into a greater Cheat upon himself For I am well assur'd that the Creature whom you fancy'd to be a Country-Wench and took so much Pains to perswade your Master that she was Dulcinea del Toboso was really the same Dulcinea del Toboso and really inchanted as Don Quixote thought and the Magicians that persecute your Master first invented that Story and put it into your Head For you must know that we have our Inchanters here that have a Kindness for us and give us an Account of what happens in the World faithfully and impartially without any Tricks or Equivocations and take my Word for 't the jumping Country-Wench was and is still Dulcinea del Toboso who is as certainly inchanted as the Mother that bore her and when we least expect it we shall see her again in her true Shape and in all her native Lustre and then Sancho will find 't was he himself was bubbl'd Troth Madam quoth Sancho all this might well be And now I am apt to believe what my Master tells me of Montesino's Cave where as he says he saw my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso in the self-same Garb and as handsome as I told him I had seen her when it came into my Noddle to tell him she was inchanted Ay my Lady it must be quite contrary to what I ween'd as your Worship's Grace well observes for Lord bless us who the Devil can imagine that such a Numskull as I should have it in him to devise so cunning a Trick of a Sudden Besides who can think that my Master 's such a Goose as to believe so unlikely a Matter upon the single Vouching of such a dunder-headed Fellow as I But for all that my good Lady I hope you know better things than to think me a Knave alack-a-day it can't be expected that such an Ignoramus as I am shou'd be able to divine into the Tricks and Wiles of wicked Magicians I invented that Flam only because my Master wou'd never leave teizing me but I had no Mind to abuse him not I and if it fell out otherwise than I meant who can help it Heaven knows my Heart That 's honestly said answer'd the Dutchess but pray tell me Sancho What was it you were speaking of Montâ—sino's Cave I 've a great Mind to know that Story Thereupon Sancho having related the whole Matter to the Dutchess Look you said she this exactly makes out what I said to you just now for since the great Don Quixotâ— affirms he saw there the same Country-Wench that Sancho met coming from Toboso 't is past all Doubt 't was Dulcinea and this shews the Inchanters are a subtil sort of People that will know every thing and give a quick and sure Information Well quoth Sancho if my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso be inchanted 't is the worse for her What have I to do to quarrel with all my Master's Enemies They can't be few for ought I see and they are plagâ—y Fellows to deal withall Thus much I dare say She I saw was a Country-Wench a Country-Wench I took her to be and a Country-Wench I left her Now if that same Dowdy was Dulcinea in good Earnest how can I help it I ought not to be call'd to an Account for 't No let the Saddle be set upon the right Horse or we shall ne'er ha' done Sancho told me this crys one Sancho told me that crys t'ther Sancho o' this Side Sancho o' that Side Sancho did this and Sancho did that as if Sancho were I don't know who and not the same Sancho that goes already far and near thro' the World in Books as Sampson Carrasco tells me and he 's no less than a Batchelor of Arts at Salamancâ— Varsity and such Folks as he can't tell a Lie unless they be so dispos'd or it stands 'em in good stead So let no Body meddle or make nor offer to pick a Quarrel with me about the Matter since I 'm a Man of Reputation and as my Master says a good Name is better than Riches Clap me but into this same Government once and you shall see Wonders He that has been a good Servant will make a good Master a trusty Squire will make a rare Governour I 'll warrant you Sancho speaks like an Oracle said the Dutchess every thing he says is a Sentence like those of Cato or at least the very Marrow of Michael Vâ—rino Florentibus occidit Annis that is he dy'd in his Spring In short to speak after his Way Under a bad Cloak look for a good Drinker Faith and Troth Madam Dutchess quoth Sancho I never drank out of Malice in my born Days for Thirst perhaps I may for I ha'n't a Bit of Hypocrisy in me I drink when I have Occasion and sometimes when I have no Occasion I 'm no proud Man d' ye see and when the Liquor 's offer'd me I whip it off that they mayn't take me for a Churl or a Sneaksby or think I don't understand my self nor good Manners for when a Friend or a good Fellow drinks and puts the Glass to one who can be so hard-hearted as to refuse to pledge him when it costs nothing but to open one's Mouth However I commonly look before I leap and take no more than needs must And truly there 's no Fear we poor Squires to Knights-Errant should be great Trespassers that Way Alack-a-day meer Element must be our daily Beveridge Ditch-water for want of better in Woods and Desarts on Rocks and Mountains without lighting on that Blessing of one merciful Drop of Wine tho' you 'd give one of your Eyes for a single Gulp I believe it Sancho said the Dutchess but now it grows late and therefore go and take some Rest after that we 'll have a longer Conversation as you 're pleas'd to word it Sancho kiss'd the Dutchess's Hand once more and begg'd her Worship's Grace that special Care might be taken of his Dapâ—le for he was as chary of him as of the Apple of his Eye What is that Dapple ask'd the Dutchess My Beast an 't like your Honour answer'd Sancho my Ass I would say saving your Presence but because I won't call him Ass which is so common a Name among Men I call him Dapple 'T is the very same Beast I wou'd have given Charge of to this same Gentlewoman when I came first to this Castle but her Back was up presently and she flew out as if I had call'd her ugly Face old Witch and
Regard to Virgin-Decency are forc'd to give their Tongues a Loose and betray the Secrets of their Hearts Alas Noble Don Quixote de la Mancha I am one of those unhappy Persons over-rul'd by my Passion but yet so reserv'd and patient in my Sufferings that Silence broke my Heart and my Heart broke in Silence 'T is now two Days most inexorable and Marble-hearted Man since the Sense of your severe Usage and Cruelty brought me to my Death or something so like it that every one that saw me judg'd me to be dead And had not Love been compassionate and assign'd my Recovery on the Sufferings of this kind Squire I had ever remain'd in the other World Truly quoth Sancho Love might e'en as well have made Choice of my Ass for that Service and he would have obliged me a great deal more But pray good Mistress tell me one Thing now and so Heaven provide you a better natur'd Sweet-heart than my Master what did you see in the other World What Sort of Folks are there in Hell For there I suppose you have been for those that die of themselves must needs go to that Summer-house To tell you the Truth reply'd Altisidora I fancy I could not be dead out-right because I was not got so far as Hell for had I got in I 'm sure I should ne'er have been allow'd to have got out again I got to the Gates indeed where I found a round Dozen of Devils in their Breeches and Waste-coats playing at Tennis with flaming Rackets they wore flat Bands with scollop'd Lace and Ruffles of the same Their Arms were naked four Fingers Breadth to give an Air to their Wrists and make their Hands look the longer But what I most wonder'd at was that instead of Tennis-balls they made use of Books that were every whit as light and stuff'd with Wind and Flock or such Kind of Trumpery This was indeed most strange and wonderful but what still amaz'd me more I found that contrary to the Custom of Gamesters among whom the gaining Party at least is in good Humour and the Losers only angry these Hellish Tossers of Books of both sides did nothing but fret fume stamp curse and swear most horribly as if they had been all Losers That 's no Wonder at all quoth Sancho for your Devils whether they play or no win or lose they can never be contented That may be said Altisidora but another Thing that I admire I then admir'd I would say was that the Ball would not bear a second Blow but at every Stroke they were oblig'd to change Books some of 'em new some old which I thought very strange And one Accident that happen'd upon this I can't forget They tos'd up a new Book fairly bound and gave it such a smart Stroke that the very Guts flew out of it and all the Leaves were scatter'd about Then cry'd one of the Devils to another look look what Book is that 'T is the Second Part of the History of Don Quixote said the other not that which was compos'd by Cid Hamet the Author of the first but by a certain Arragonian who professes himself a Native of Tordesillas Away with it cry'd the first Devil down with it plunge it to the lowest Pit of Hell where I may never see it more Why is it such sad stuff said the other Such intolerable Stuff cry'd the first Devil that if I and all the Devils in Hell should set our Heads together to make it worse it were past our Skill The Devils continu'd their Game and shatter'd a World of other Books but the Name of Don Quixote that I so passionately ador'd confin'd my Thoughts only to that Part of the Vision which I told you It could be nothing but a Vision to be sure said Don Quixote for I am the only Person of that Name now in the Universe and that very Book is tos'd about here at the very same rate never resting in a Place for every Body has a Fling at it Nor am I concern'd that any Phantom assuming my Name should wander in the Shades of Darkness or in the Light of this World since I am not the Person of whom that History treats If it be well writ faithful and authentick it will live Ages but if it be bad 't will have but a bad Journey from its Birth to the Grave of Oblivion Altisidora was then going to renew her Expostulations and Complaints against Don Quixote had not he thus interrupted her I have often caution'd you Madam said he of fixing your Affections upon a Man who is absolutely uncapable of making a suitable Return It grieves me to have a Heart obtruded upon me when I have no Entertainment to give it but bare cold Thanks I was only born for Dulcinea del Toboso and to her alone the Destinies if such there be have devoted my Affection So 't is â—resumption for any other Beauty to imagine she can displace her or but share the Possession she holds in my Soul This I hope may suffice to take away all Foundation from your Hopes and to recal your Modesty and re-instate it in its proper Bounds for nothing is to be expected from a Man in Impossibilities Upon hearing this Death of my Life Cry'd Altisidora putting on a violent Passion thou Lump of Lead thou with a Soul of Morter and a Heart as little and as hard as the Stone of an Olive more stubborn than a fullen Plough-driver or a Carrier's Horse that will never go out of his Road I have a good Mind to tear your Eyes out as deep as they are in your Head Why thou beaten Swash-buckler thou Rib-roasted Knight of the Cudgel hast thou the Impudence to think that I dy'd for Love of thy Lanthorn-Jaws No no Sir Tiffany all that you have seen this Night has been Counterfeit for I would not suffer the Pain of a Flea-bite much less that of dying for such a Dromedary as thou art Troth Lass I believe thee quoth Sancho for all these Stories of People dying for Love are meer Tales of a roasted Horse They tell you they 'll dye for Love but the Devil a-bit Trust to that and be laugh'd at Their Discourse was interrupted by the coming in of the Harper Singer and Composer of the Stanza's that were perform'd in the Court the Night before Sir Knight said he to Don Quixote making a profound Obeisance let me beg the Favour of being number'd among your most humble Servants 't is an Honour which I have long been ambitious to receive in regard of your great Renown and the Value of your Atchievements Pray Sir said Don Quixote let me know who you are that I may proportion my Respects to your Merits The Spark gave him to understand he was the Person that made and sung the Verses he heard the last Night Truly Sir said Don Quixote you have an excellent Voice but I think your Poetry was little to the Purpose for what Relation pray have