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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A75792 The life of S. Augustine. The first part Written by himself in the first ten books of his Confessions faithfully translated.; Confessiones. Liber 1-10. English Augustine, Saint, Bishop of Hippo.; R. H., 1609-1678. 1660 (1660) Wing A4211; Thomason E1755_2; ESTC R208838 184,417 226

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the_o assistance_n of_o the_o art_n of_o a_o magician_n in_o those_o year_n i_o teach_v the_o art_n of_o rhetoric_n and_o a_o victorious_a loquacity_n i_o sell_v myself_o overcome_v by_o lust_n yet_o then_o o_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o rather_o wish_v to_o have_v honest_a and_o virtuous_a scholar_n such_o as_o be_v so_o call_v and_o to_o they_o i_o teach_v deceit_n without_o deceit_n yet_o not_o those_o deceit_n whereby_o the_o life_n of_o a_o innocent_a shall_v be_v endanger_v but_o whereby_o sometime_o the_o life_n of_o the_o guilty_a may_v be_v preserve_v and_o thou_o o_o god_n behelde_v then_o afar_o off_o some_o little_a fidelity_n in_o i_o though_o stagger_v in_o a_o slippery_a station_n and_o only_o sparkle_v a_o little_a as_o it_o be_v through_o a_o cloud_n of_o smoke_n which_o in_o that_o schoolmastership_n i_o exhibit_v towards_o those_o who_o love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o lease_v 4.2_o psal_n 4.2_o myself_o also_o in_o the_o same_o be_v their_o companion_n in_o those_o year_n also_o i_o have_v a_o woman_n not_o join_v unto_o i_o by_o that_o which_o be_v call_v legitimate_a wedlock_n but_o choose_v by_o the_o wander_a ardour_n of_o my_o imprudent_a affection_n yet_o one_o only_o it_o be_v and_o my_o bed_n constant_o true_a to_o she_o in_o who_o i_o may_v in_o my_o own_o particular_a try_v the_o difference_n between_o a_o matrimonial_a condition_n confederate_v for_o the_o desire_n of_o issue_n and_o the_o contract_n of_o a_o libidinous_a love_n where_o child_n be_v bear_v undesired_a yet_o bear_v once_o can_v but_o be_v love_v i_o remember_v also_o *_o that_o i_o have_v undertake_v upon_o the_o theatre_n to_o try_v a_o prize_n of_o poetry_n be_v sentto_a by_o a_o magician_n to_o know_v what_o reward_n i_o will_v give_v he_o to_o make_v i_o the_o victor_n and_o *_o that_n i_o abominate_v and_o detest_a such_o odious_a mystery_n answer_v that_o be_v the_o crown_n of_o immortal_a gold_n i_o will_v not_o permit_v a_o fly_n to_o perish_v for_o 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without_o believe_v can_v not_o be_v heal_v and_o refuse_v also_o to_o be_v so_o cure_v for_o ●●ar_v it_o shall_v believe_v again_o something_o that_o be_v fall_v e_o not_o smi●ring_v thy_o hand_n upon_o i_o who_o have_v compound_v this_o medicine_n of_o faith_n and_o apply_v it_o to_o the_o di_fw-mi ease_v of_o all_o the_o world_n and_o give_v unto_o it_o such_o power_n and_o efficacy_n to_o cure_v they_o chap._n v._n and_o *_o in_o acknowledge_v the_o divine_a authority_n of_o the_o scripture_n as_o they_o be_v deliver_v by_o the_o church_n and_o in_o this_o thing_n also_o i_o can_v not_o but_o prefer_v the_o catholic_n doctrine_n where_o with_o more_o modesty_n and_o no_o fal●e_o deal_n i_o be_v pl_z inly_a require_v to_o believe_v what_o be_v not_o demonstrate_v
luckiness_n in_o they_o and_o that_o in_o their_o speak_v many_o thing_n that_o shall_v be_v speak_v some_o thing_n which_o do_v after_o come_v to_o pass_v not_o foreknow_v by_o those_o who_o say_v they_o but_o happen_v on_o by_o their_o not_o say_v nothing_o thou_o procure_v i_o say_v a_o friend_n of_o i_o a_o curious_a consulter_n of_o astrologer_n though_o himself_o not_o much_o see_v in_o it_o who_o relate_v to_o i_o something_o from_o his_o father_n which_o though_o he_o make_v little_a reflection_n thereupon_o serve_v very_o much_o for_o the_o overthrow_n of_o the_o vain_a esteem_n of_o that_o science_n this_o man_n therefore_o by_o name_n firminus_n ingenuous_o educate_v and_o well_o study_v in_o eloquence_n consult_v i_o as_o one_o very_o dear_a to_o he_o what_o i_o collect_v from_o his_o constellation_n as_o he_o call_v they_o concern_v some_o important_a affair_n of_o he_o to_o which_o his_o secular_a hope_n aspire_v and_o i_o who_o be_v now_o somewhat_o incline_v to_o nebridius_fw-la his_o opinion_n conjecture_v and_o divine_v thereupon_o what_o my_o doubt_a mind_n metwith_a in_o the_o art_n but_o withal_o superad_v that_o i_o be_v almost_o persuade_v all_o those_o thing_n be_v ridiculous_a and_o vain_a he_o proceed_v to_o tell_v i_o how_o his_o father_n be_v a_o most_o curious_a student_n of_o such_o book_n and_o have_v also_o a_o friend_n alike-affected_n who_o with_o emulate_a study_n and_o compare_v of_o their_o observation_n be_v so_o far_o inflame_v towards_o those_o toy_n as_o that_o when_o any_o mute_a animal_n of_o their_o own_o bring_v forth_o young_a they_o mark_v the_o moment_n of_o their_o birth_n and_o set_v down_o the_o position_n of_o the_o heaven_n in_o they_o from_o whence_o they_o may_v gather_v some_o experiment_n of_o this_o art_n and_o he_o say_v he_o have_v hear_v from_o his_o father_n that_o when_o his_o mother_n be_v great_a with_o child_n of_o the_o say_v firminus_n a_o certain_a maid-servant_n of_o his_o friend_n happen_v to_o be_v big_a with_o child_n at_o the_o same_o time_n not_o unremark_v by_o her_o master_n who_o observe_v with_o most_o exact_a diligence_n even_o the_o puppying_n of_o his_o dog_n and_o that_o so_o it_o happen_v that_o they_o with_o most_o wary_a observation_n account_v one_o the_o day_n hour_n minute_n of_o his_o wife_n the_o other_o of_o his_o maid_n be_v bring_v to_o bed_n both_o be_v deliver_v at_o the_o same_o instant_n so_o that_o they_o be_v force_v to_o set_v down_o the_o same_o calculation_n to_o a_o minute_n of_o the_o nativity_n one_o of_o his_o son_n the_o other_o of_o his_o servant_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o the_o woman_n fall_v in_o labour_n they_o give_v mutual_a notice_n and_o have_v one_o ready_a to_o send_v to_o each_o other_o so_o soon_o as_o the_o child_n be_v bear_v and_o those_o send_v meet_v so_o just_o in_o the_o midway_n that_o neither_o of_o they_o be_v permit_v to_o observe_v any_o position_n of_o the_o star_n or_o particle_n of_o time_n different_a from_o the_o other_o and_o yet_o firminus_n as_o honourable_o descend_v run_v the_o more_o happy_a course_n of_o this_o world_n increase_v in_o wealth_n be_v advance_v in_o dignity_n but_o the_o servant_n have_v the_o yoke_n of_o his_o condition_n no_o way_n ease_v wait_v on_o a_o master_n as_o he_o tell_v i_o who_o very_o well_o know_v he_o hear_v therefore_o and_o believe_v these_o thing_n from_o so_o creditable_a a_o author_n all_o my_o former_a reluctance_n present_o melt_v and_o first_o i_o endeavour_v to_o reduce_v firminus_n from_o this_o curiosity_n saying_n that_o from_o the_o inspection_n of_o his_o constellation_n to_o tell_v he_o the_o truth_n of_o what_o shall_v succeed_v i_o be_v in_o they_o to_o discern_v that_o his_o parent_n be_v of_o better_a quality_n his_o family_n noble_a of_o the_o city_n where_o they_o live_v his_o extraction_n and_o his_o education_n honourable_a his_o study_n ingenuous_a but_o if_o afterward_o the_o servant_n out_o of_o these_o constellation_n for_o he_o have_v the_o same_o consult_v i_o to_o tell_v he_o the_o truth_n also_o i_o must_v in_o they_o behold_v his_o fortune_n a_o most_o abject_a family_n a_o condition_n servile_a and_o all_o other_o thing_n far_o differ_v and_o much_o contrary_n to_o the_o former_a whence_o it_o will_v follow_v that_o on_o the_o same_o aspect_n i_o be_v to_o read_v contrary_a fortune_n if_o i_o foretell_v the_o truth_n or_o if_o i_o read_v the_o same_o fortune_n must_v say_v what_o be_v false_a and_o hence_o i_o gather_v that_o what_o be_v speak_v true_a from_o consideration_n of_o such_o constellation_n be_v say_v not_o by_o art_n but_o by_o guess_n and_o what_o be_v speak_v false_a be_v not_o from_o any_o unskilfulness_n of_o art_n but_o from_o the_o error_n of_o guess_v from_o this_o entrance_n upon_o a_o further_a consideration_n of_o these_o thing_n lest_o any_o who_o live_v by_o this_o trade_n who_o i_o much_o desire_v to_o confute_v and_o render_v ridiculous_a shall_v reply_v that_o firminus_n to_o i_o or_o his_o father_n at_o least_o to_o he_o have_v tell_v a_o untruth_n i_o reflect_v my_o thought_n on_o those_o who_o be_v bear_v twin_n who_o ordinary_o be_v exclude_v into_o the_o world_n so_o hasty_o one_o after_o the_o other_o that_o the_o small_a interval_n of_o time_n whatever_o operation_n they_o may_v pretend_v it_o to_o have_v in_o nature_n yet_o can_v be_v collect_v by_o humane_a observation_n nor_o express_v in_o the_o composition_n of_o any_o figure_n out_o of_o which_o the_o astrologer_n be_v to_o make_v his_o prognostication_n his_o prediction_n therefore_o either_o can_v be_v true_a if_o from_o peruse_v the_o same_o figure_n he_o shall_v say_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o example_n of_o esau_n and_o jacob_n when_o as_o the_o same_o thing_n happen_v not_o to_o they_o both_o or_o if_o true_a he_o must_v not_o say_v the_o same_o of_o they_o whereas_o yet_o his_o inspection_n be_v utter_o the_o same_o therefore_o not_o from_o art_n but_o chance_n it_o be_v that_o he_o speak_v truth_n for_o thou_o o_o lord_n the_o most_o just_a moderator_n of_o the_o universe_n whilst_o the_o consulter_n and_o the_o consult_v know_v not_o any_o thing_n by_o a_o secret_a instinct_n ordere_v what_o be_v fit_a both_o that_o the_o one_o shall_v say_v and_o the_o other_o hear_v according_a to_o the_o hide_a merit_n of_o soul_n and_o the_o abyss_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n 35.17_o e●clus_n 35.17_o to_o who_o let_v none_o say_v what_o be_v this_o wherefore_o be_v that_o let_v he_o not_o say_v let_v he_o not_o say_v it_o for_o he_o be_v but_o a_o man_n chap._n vii_o prosecute_a the_o same_o query_n unde_fw-la malum_fw-la thus_o loose_v from_o these_o bond_n by_o thou_o my_o helper_n yet_o i_o be_v still_o in_o a_o labyrinth_n concern_v the_o query_n from_o whence_o evil_a and_o can_v find_v no_o way_n out_o yet_o thou_o do_v not_o suffer_v i_o by_o any_o way_n of_o those_o my_o cogitation_n to_o be_v carry_v away_o from_o the_o right_a faith_n by_o which_o i_o believe_v both_o that_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o thy_o substance_n be_v immutable_a and_o that_o thou_o do_v take_v a_o care_n of_o and_o do_v justice_n among_o man_n and_o that_o in_o christ_n thy_o son_n our_o lord_n and_o in_o the_o holy_a scripture_n which_o the_o authority_n of_o thy_o catholic_n church_n recommend_v unto_o i_o thou_o have_v appoint_v a_o way_n of_o man_n salvation_n in_o reference_n to_o that_o life_n which_o after_o this_o present_a death_n shall_v be_v enjoy_v these_o point_n therefore_o be_v safe_a and_o well-quieted_n in_o my_o mind_n i_o still_o hot_o inquire_v from_o whence_o shall_v come_v evil._n and_o what_o pang_n be_v those_o of_o my_o heart_n in_o travel_n what_o groan_n o_o my_o god_n and_o there_o be_v thy_o ear_n receive_v they_o and_o i_o know_v it_o not_o and_o whilst_o in_o silence_n i_o importunate_o seek_v the_o tacit_a contrition_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v powerful_a clamour_n to_o thy_o mercy_n mecum_fw-la psal_n 38.9_o 10._o vulgar_a ante_fw-la te_fw-la omne_fw-la desiderium_fw-la meum_fw-la &_o lumen_fw-la oculorum_fw-la meorum_fw-la non_fw-la est_fw-la mecum_fw-la and_o my_o desire_n be_v before_o thou_o and_o the_o true_a light_n of_o my_o eye_n be_v not_o with_o i_o for_o it_o be_v within_o and_o i_o be_v abroad_o neither_o possess_v it_o any_o place_n but_o my_o fancy_n be_v intent_n only_o upon_o thing_n circumscribe_v by_o place_n and_o among_o they_o i_o find_v no_o place_n of_o rest_n and_o neither_o do_v they_o so_o well_o entertain_v i_o that_o i_o can_v say_v i_o be_o well_o this_o be_v enough_o nor_o yet_o do_v they_o quite_o release_v i_o to_o return_v where_o it_o may_v be_v well_o enough_o with_o i_o for_o i_o be_v much_o superior_a to_o they_o as_o inferior_a to_o thou_o and_o thou_o will_v be_v true_a joy_n and_o
satisfaction_n to_o i_o so_o long_o as_o remain_v thy_o subject_n and_o also_o have_v subject_v unto_o i_o these_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v create_v below_o i_o and_o this_o be_v the_o right_a temper_n and_o the_o middle_a region_n of_o my_o felicity_n and_o safety_n *_o to_o remain_v as_o i_o be_v create_v according_a to_o this_o thy_o image_n and_o serve_v thou_o *_o to_o rule_v o●re_o these_o body_n but_o when_o i_o will_v by_o my_o pride_n rise_v up_o against_o thou_o and_o with_o the_o buckler_n of_o a_o stiff_a neck_n make_v head_n against_o my_o lord_n and_o master_n even_o these_o low_a thing_n be_v make_v above_o i_o and_o press_v i_o down_o and_o there_o be_v no_o relaxation_n no_o take_v breath_n under_o they_o but_o when_o i_o offer_v to_o return_v into_o myself_o and_o unto_o thou_o the_o body_n themselves_o rush_v by_o troop_n unto_o my_o eye_n and_o the_o image_n of_o body_n unto_o my_o fancy_n on_o every_o side_n waylay_v and_o oppose_v i_o as_o if_o they_o have_v say_v whither_o go_v thou_o so_o unworthy_a so_o filthy_a to_o this_o height_n be_v my_o wound_n increase_v and_o the_o tumour_n of_o my_o spirit_n keep_v i_o at_o distance_n from_o thou_o and_o my_o pride-swoln_a face_n closed-up_a my_o eye_n chap._n viii_o but_o thou_o o_o lord_n who_o abide_v for_o ever_o yet_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o we_o for_o ever_o but_o have_v compassion_n on_o this_o suddenly-perishing_a dust_n and_o ash_n and_o it_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o sight_n to_o reform_v all_o those_o my_o deformity_n and_o with_o internal_a and_o secret_a goad_n thou_o render_v i_o still_o impatient_a until_o by_o a_o more_o inward_a sight_n divert_v from_o corporeal_a phantasm_n i_o come_v to_o have_v a_o true_a discovery_n of_o thou_o chap._n ix_o upon_o recommendation_n he_o fall_v to_o read_v the_o book_n of_o the_o platonist_n and_o d_o scover_v in_o they_o much_o concern_v the_o divinity_n of_o the_o eternal_a word_n but_o nothing_o of_o the_o humility_n of_o his_o incarnation_n and_o first_o to_o show_v i_o *_o how_o thou_o resiste_v the_o proud_a &_o give_v grace_n to_o the_o humble_a and_o *_o how_o great_o a_o mercy_n of_o thou_o it_o be_v that_o the_o way_n of_o humility_n be_v demonstrate_v unto_o man_n in_o thy_o son_n be_v be_v make_v flesh_n and_o dwell_n among_o man_n thou_o procure_v i_o by_o a_o man_n much_o swell_v with_o humane_a science_n some_o book_n of_o the_o platonist_n translate_v out_o of_o greek_a into_o latin_a and_o in_o these_o i_o read_v not_o in_o the_o same_o word_n indeed_o but_o the_o very_a same_o thing_n and_o that_o confirm_v with_o great_a variety_n of_o reason_n 1.1_o joh._n 1.1_o *_o that_o in_o the_o beginning_n be_v the_o word_n and_o the_o word_n be_v with_o god_n and_o the_o word_n be_v god_n the_o same_o be_v in_o the_o begin_n with_o god_n all_o thing_n be_v make_v by_o he_o and_o without_o he_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n make_v that_o be_v make_v in_o he_o be_v life_n and_o the_o life_n be_v the_o light_n of_o man_n and_o the_o light_n shine_v in_o darkness_n and_o the_o darkness_n comprehend_v it_o not_o and_n *_o that_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n though_o it_o bear_v witness_n of_o that_o light_n yet_o be_v not_o itself_o the_o very_a light_n but_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v it._n for_o god_n be_v the_o true_a light_n that_o enlighten_v every_o man_n come_v into_o this_o world_n and_n that_o he_o be_v in_o this_o world_n and_o the_o world_n be_v make_v by_o he_o and_o the_o world_n know_v he_o not_o but_o that_o he_o come_v unto_o his_o own_o and_o his_o own_o receive_v he_o not_o but_o as_o many_o as_o receive_v he_o to_o they_o give_v he_o power_n to_o become_v the_o son_n of_o god_n even_o to_o they_o that_o believe_v on_o his_o name_n this_o there_o i_o read_v not_o again_o i_o read_v there_o that_o god_n the_o word_n be_v bear_v not_o of_o blood_n nor_o of_o the_o will_n of_o the_o flesh_n nor_o of_o the_o will_n of_o man_n but_o of_o god_n but_o then_o that_o this_o word_n be_v make_v flesh_n and_o dwell_v among_o we_o this_o i_o read_v not_o there_o for_o in_o those_o book_n i_o find_v frequent_o say_v and_o divers_a way_n express_v that_o the_o son_n be_v in_o the_o form_n of_o the_o father_n 2.6_o phil._n 2.6_o and_o think_v it_o not_o robbery_n to_o be_v equal_a with_o god_n because_o real_o he_o be_v the_o same_o thing_n with_o he_o but_o then_o that_o he_o empty_v himself_o and_o take_v upon_o he_o the_o form_n of_o a_o servant_n and_o be_v make_v in_o the_o likeness_n of_o man_n and_o be_v find_v in_o fashion_n as_o a_o man_n he_o humble_v himself_o and_o become_v obedient_a unto_o death_n even_o the_o death_n of_o the_o cross_n wherefore_o god_n also_o have_v high_o exalt_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a and_o give_v he_o a_o name_n which_o be_v above_o every_o name_n that_o at_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n every_o knee_n shall_v bow_v of_o thing_n in_o heaven_n and_o thing_n in_o earth_n and_o thing_n under_o the_o earth_n and_o that_o every_o tongue_n shall_v confess_v that_o jesus_n christ_n be_v lord_n in_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o father_n this_o those_o book_n contain_v not_o for_o indeed_o that_o he_o before_z and_o above_o all_o time_n remain_v unchangeable_o thy_o son_n only_o beget_v and_o coeternal_a unto_o thou_o and_o that_o soul_n be_v make_v *_o happy_a only_o from_o the_o effusion_n they_o receive_v from_o his_o fullness_n and_o *_o wise_n as_o they_o be_v renew_v by_o the_o participation_n of_o that_o self-subsisting_a wisdom_n be_v to_o be_v find_v there_o 25.9_o rom._n 5.6_o rom._n 8.32_o mat._n 11.25_o mat._n 11.28_o psal_n 25.9_o but_o that_o he_o in_o the_o fullness_n of_o time_n die_v also_o for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o that_o thou_o sparedst_v not_o thy_o only_a son_n but_o give_v he_o up_o for_o we_o all_o be_v not_o to_o be_v find_v there_o for_o thou_o do_v hide_v these_o thing_n from_o the_o wise_a and_o reveal_v they_o unto_o babe_n that_o there_o shall_v come_v unto_o he_o those_o who_o labour_v and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o he_o may_v give_v they_o rest_n because_o he_o be_v meek_a and_o lowly_a in_o heart_n and_o the_o meek_a do_v he_o guide_v in_o judgement_n and_o the_o humble_a he_o teach_v his_o way_n look_v upon_o our_o lowness_n and_o our_o travel_n and_o forgive_a all_o our_o sin_n but_o those_o who_o be_v raise_v up_o aloft_o on_o the_o buskin_n of_o a_o seeming-more-sublime_a science_n do_v not_o hear_v he_o say_v learn_v of_o i_o meek_a and_o lowly_a in_o heart_n and_o you_o shall_v find_v rest_n unto_o your_o soul_n 1.21_o rom._n 1.21_o and_o although_o they_o know_v god_n yet_o they_o glorify_v he_o not_o as_o god_n nor_o be_v thankful_a but_o vanish_v away_o in_o their_o imagination_n and_o their_o foolish_a heart_n be_v darken_v and_o profess_v themselves_o to_o be_v wise_a they_o be_v make_v fool_n and_o therefore_o i_o read_v there_o also_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o incorruptibleness_n change_v into_o idol_n and_o divers_a image_n make_v like_o to_o corruptible_a man_n and_o to_o bird_n and_o fourfooted_a beast_n and_o creep_a thing_n egyptian_a food_n which_o i_o find_v also_o in_o those_o book_n and_o be_v not_o tempt_v with_o it_o but_o i_o take_v what_o be_v good_a and_o precious_a as_o thou_o cause_v thy_o people_n to_o carry_v gold_n out_o of_o egypt_n itself_o because_o thou_o it_o be_v wherever_o it_o be_v 17.28_o act_n 17.28_o and_o also_o thou_o say_v to_o the_o athenian_n by_o thy_o apostle_n that_o in_o thou_o we_o live_v and_o move_v and_o have_v our_o be_v as_o some_o also_o of_o their_o own_o have_v already_o say_v it_o from_o thou_o before_o from_o the_o same_o fountain_n therefore_o come_v doubtless_o what_o be_v good_a and_o true_a in_o these_o book_n chap._n x._o he_o now_o more_o clear_o discover_v divine_a matter_n that_o something_o may_v have_v a_o be_v and_o this_o not_o corporeal_a or_o extend_v in_o place_n have_v therefore_o out_o of_o these_o book_n extract_v some_o wholesome_a advice_n to_o reflect_v and_o return_v into_o myself_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o innermost_a recess_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o seek_v thou_o i_o enter_v and_o behold_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n such_o as_o then_o it_o be_v far_o above_o the_o same_o eye_n and_o above_o my_o soul_n the_o immutable_a light_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v not_o any_o great_a degree_n of_o this_o vulgar_a light_n conspicuous_a to_o all_o flesh_n but_o far_o far_o different_a from_o it_o nor_o behold_v i_o it_o above_o my_o soul_n as_o oil_n be_v above_o water_n or_o the_o heaven_n over_o the_o earth_n but_o thus_o superior_a as_o be_v it_o that_o make_v i_o and_o i_o inferior_a as_o make_v by_o
all_o which_o be_v good_a the_o act_n of_o all_o which_o may_v concur_v upon_o the_o same_o point_n of_o time_n and_o all_o may_v be_v equal_o affect_v but_o can_v be_v all_o at_o once_o effect_v which_o therefore_o struggle_v among_o themselves_o until_o some_o one_o thing_n be_v choose_v to_o which_o may_v be_v total_o carry_v that_o one_o will_v which_o before_o be_v divide_v towards_o many_o so_o when_o eternity_n delight_v we_o above_o and_o the_o pleasure_n of_o a_o temporal_a good_a re-tempts_a we_o here_o below_o it_o be_v the_o same_o soul_n not_o with_o a_o full_a will_n will_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o and_o therefore_o it_o remain_v suspend_v with_o a_o torment_a distraction_n whilst_o from_o the_o truth_n it_o prefer_v one_o and_o from_o its_o acquaintance_n can_v quit_v the_o other_o chap._n xi_o thus_o sick_a of_o mind_n and_o thus_o torment_v i_o be_v accuse_v myself_o much_o more_o severe_o than_o former_o and_o tumble_v and_o wind_v to_o and_o fro_o in_o my_o chain_n till_o i_o have_v whole_o break_v it_o off_o a_o small_a piece_n only_o of_o which_o now_o hold_v i_o yet_o hold_v i_o still_o and_o thou_o o_o lord_n pressedst_a sore_n upon_o i_o in_o my_o inner_a part_n with_o a_o severe_a mercy_n redouble_v the_o lash_n of_o fear_n and_o shame_n *_o that_o i_o may_v not_o give_v over_o stretch_v and_o *_o jest_n i_o shall_v not_o break_v off_o that_o thin_a piece_n which_o only_o remain_v and_o it_o shall_v grow_v again_o upon_o i_o and_o bound_v i_o fast_o than_o ever_o for_o now_o i_o say_v within_o to_o myself_o come_v let_v it_o be_v do_v present_o just_o now_o let_v it_o be_v do_v and_o already_o in_o word_n i_o begin_v a_o league_n with_o thou_o and_o already_o i_o almost_o do_v it_o but_o quite_o do_v it_o not_o neither_o relapse_v i_o again_o into_o former_a wont_v but_o stand_v and_o take_v breath_n be_v very_o near_o it_o and_o then_o set_v on_o again_o and_o be_v arrive_v almost_o at_o it_o and_o almost_o now_o and_o now_o touch_v and_o lay_v hold_v on_o it_o and_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o quite_o there_o nor_o yet_o touch_v nor_o hold_v it_o demur_v a_o while_n to_o die_v unto_o death_n and_o to_o live_v unto_o life_n and_o the_o worse_o long_o use_v be_v far_o more_o prevalent_a in_o i_o than_o the_o better_a untried_a and_o the_o point_n of_o time_n in_o which_o i_o be_v to_o become_v another_o man_n how_o much_o it_o approach_v near_o strike_v in_o i_o so_o much_o more_o horror_n yet_o do_v it_o not_o make_v i_o to_o reconcile_v or_o quite_o turn_v away_o but_o only_o to_o stand_v in_o a_o suspense_n there_o hang_v still_o upon_o i_o those_o trifle_n of_o trifle_n and_o vanity_n of_o vanity_n my_o old_a mistress_n and_o pluck_v i_o by_o the_o vesture_n of_o the_o flesh_n soft_o whisper_v unto_o i_o will_n you_o then_o thus_o forsake_v we_o and_o from_o this_o moment_n no_o more_o for_o ever_o shall_v we_o accompany_v you_o and_o from_o this_o moment_n shall_v not_o this_o nor_o that_o be_v lawful_a for_o you_o to_o do_v any_o more_o for_o ever_o and_o what_o thing_n be_v they_o that_o these_o suggest_v unto_o i_o under_o the_o word_n which_o i_o call_v this_o and_o that_o what_o kind_n of_o thing_n be_v they_o that_o these_o promote_v to_o i_o o_o my_o god_n let_v thy_o mercy_n ever_o avert_v the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o from_o the_o soul_n of_o thy_o servant_n what_o filthiness_n what_o infamy_n do_v they_o suggest_v and_o i_o hear_v they_o now_o much_o more_o than_o half_a none_o of_o they_o not_o as_o bold_o affront_a i_n or_o free_o contradict_v i_o to_o my_o face_n but_o as_o lowly_a mutter_n behind_o i_o and_o secret_o pull_v i_o when_o go_v away_o only_a to_o look_v once_o more_o back_o upon_o they_o yet_o they_o somewhat_o retard_v i_o that_o i_o make_v not_o due_a speed_n to_o catch_v away_o myself_o and_o shake_v they_o off_o and_o to_o spring_v from_o they_o whither_o thy_o grace_n call_v i_o whilst_o a_o strong_a custom_n of_o they_o say_v unto_o i_o think_v thou_o that_o thou_o can_v for_o ever_o henceforth_o live_v without_o such_o thing_n but_o now_o it_o say_v this_o but_o very_o faint_o for_o there_o appear_v unto_o i_o on_o that_o part_n where_o i_o have_v already_o turn_v my_o face_n but_o whither_o i_o yet_o tremble_v to_o pass_v continency_n with_o a_o majestic_a modesty_n serene_a and_o un-dissolute_o cheerful_a and_o honest_o tempt_v i_o to_o come_v forward_o and_o to_o fear_v nothing_o and_o extend_v towards_o the_o receive_n and_o the_o embrace_v of_o i_o those_o charitable_a arm_n of_o she_o so_o full_a of_o society_n of_o good_a example_n there_o be_v entertain_v so_o many_o child_n boy_n and_o girl_n so_o much_o flourish_a youth_n and_o all_o other_o age_n grave_a widow_n and_o age_a virgin_n and_o in_o all_o these_o continency_n not_o barren_a but_o a_o fruitful_a mother_n of_o child_n namely_o of_o celestial_a joy_n beget_v by_o thou_o o_o lord_n her_o most_o dear_a husband_n and_o she_o with_o a_o persuade_a derision_n laugh_v at_o i_o as_o if_o she_o have_v say_v and_o be_v not_o thou_o able_a to_o do_v what_o those_o youth_n and_o those_o maiden_n be_v or_o be_v those_o and_o those_o able_a in_o themselves_o and_o not_o in_o the_o lord_n their_o god_n the_o lord_n their_o god_n give_v i_o unto_o they_o why_o stand_v thou_o upon_o thyself_o and_o therefore_o do_v not_o stand_v throw_v thyself_o upon_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o he_o will_v not_o withdraw_v himself_o to_o let_v thou_o fall_v cast_v thyself_o upon_o he_o secure_o for_o he_o will_v catch_v and_o will_v save_v thou_o and_o i_o blush_v exceed_o that_o i_o yet_o continue_v to_o hear_v the_o former_a whisper_n of_o those_o toy_n and_o to_o hang_v in_o suspense_n and_o again_o she_o seem_v to_o say_v to_o i_o 3.5_o col._n 3.5_o stop_v thy_o ear_n against_o those_o thy_o unclean_a member_n which_o be_v on_o the_o earth_n that_o they_o may_v be_v mortify_v they_o tell_v thou_o of_o some_o certain_a delight_n but_o not_o of_o such_o as_o the_o law_n of_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n propose_v such_o be_v the_o contest_v act_v within_o in_o my_o heart_n only_o between_o i_o and_o myself_o whilst_o alipius_n who_o sit_v close_o by_o i_o silent_a expect_v the_o event_n of_o such_o a_o unusual_a commotion_n chap._n xii_o his_o total_a conversion_n by_o read_v upon_o hear_v a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n a_o passage_n of_o s._n paul_n where_o the_o book_n first_o open_v but_o as_o soon_o as_o more_o profound_a meditation_n have_v draw_v out_o from_o the_o very_a bottom_n of_o this_o sink_n and_o lay_v on_o a_o heap_n all_o my_o misery_n before_o the_o view_n of_o my_o soul_n there_o arise_v in_o i_o a_o mighty_a tempest_n bring_v with_o it_o great_a shower_n of_o tear_n which_o that_o i_o may_v more_o free_o pour_v forth_o with_o their_o proper_a word_n and_o expression_n i_o rise_v from_o alipius_n conceive_v solitude_n more_o suitable_a to_o a_o business_n of_o weep_v and_o remove_v so_o far_o off_o as_o where_o neither_o his_o presence_n may_v be_v burdensome_a unto_o i_o thus_o it_o be_v with_o i_o and_o he_o perceive_v something_o i_o know_v not_o what_o from_o my_o word_n when_o i_o arise_v in_o which_o the_o change_n of_o my_o voice_n show_v i_o big_a with_o tear_n stay_v still_o where_o he_o sit_v much_o amaze_v ay_o under_o a_o certain_a figtree_n throw_v down_o myself_o i_o know_v not_o how_o and_o give_v liberty_n to_o my_o tear_n and_o the_o river_n of_o my_o eye_n run_v apace_o be_v a_o acceptable_a sacrifice_n unto_o thou_o and_o not_o indeed_o in_o these_o word_n but_o to_o this_o purpose_n i_o say_v many_o thing_n unto_o thou_o and_o thou_o o_o lord_n how_o long_o 79.5.8_o psal_n 79.5.8_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o be_v angry_a for_o ever_o remember_v not_o our_o former_a iniquity_n for_o i_o well_o perceive_v i_o be_v still_o possess_v and_o withhold_v by_o they_o and_o therefore_o call_v out_o such_o miserable_a complaint_n how_o long_o how_o long_o to_o morrow_n and_o to_o morrow_n why_o not_o present_o why_o not_o this_o very_a hour_n a_o end_n to_o my_o filthiness_n these_o thing_n i_o utter_v as_o i_o weep_v with_o a_o most_o bitter_a contrition_n of_o spirit_n and_o behold_v i_o hear_v a_o voice_n as_o from_o a_o neighbour_a house_n as_o of_o a_o boy_n or_o girl_n i_o know_v not_o whither_o in_o a_o sing_a note_n say_v and_o often_o repeat_v tolle_o lege_fw-la tolle_o lege_fw-la take_v up_o and_o read_v and_o present_o my_o countenance_n be_v alter_v i_o begin_v with_o much_o intention_n to_o consider_v whether_o child_n be_v wont_a in_o any_o kind_n of_o play_n to_o sing_v any_o such_o word_n nor_o can_v i_o call_v to_o
mind_n that_o i_o have_v any_o where_o hear_v the_o like_a whereupon_o suppress_v the_o course_n of_o my_o tear_n i_o rise_v up_o interpret_n it_o to_o be_v nothing_o else_o but_o a_o divine_a admonition_n that_o i_o shall_v open_v the_o book_n and_o read_v the_o place_n i_o first_o light_n upon_o for_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o antonius_n *_o that_o enter_v by_o chance_n into_o a_o church_n when_o the_o gospel_n be_v read_v he_o take_v himself_o to_o be_v admonish_v as_o if_o that_o be_v particular_o address_v to_o he_o what_o be_v then_o read_v 19.21_o mat._n 19.21_o go_v and_o sell_v that_o thou_o have_v and_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a and_o thou_o shall_v have_v treasure_n in_o heaven_n and_o come_v and_o follow_v i_o and_z *_o that_o by_o this_o oracle_n he_o be_v out_o of_o hand_n convert_v unto_o thou_o so_o get_v up_o hasty_o i_o return_v to_o the_o place_n where_o alipius_n be_v sit_v for_o there_o when_o i_o arise_v i_o have_v leave_v the_o apostle_n book_n i_o catch_v it_o up_o open_v it_o read_z in_o silence_n the_o piece_n of_o the_o chapter_n on_o which_o i_o first_o cast_v my_o eye_n not_o in_o riot_v and_o drunkenness_n 13.13_o rom._n 13.13_o not_o in_o chamber_v and_o wantonness_n not_o in_o strife_n and_o envy_v but_o put_v you_o on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o make_v not_o provision_n for_o the_o flesh_n to_o fulfil_v the_o lust_n thereof_o i_o will_v read_v no_o further_o nor_o be_v there_o need_n for_o at_o the_o end_n of_o these_o line_n as_o it_o be_v with_o a_o new_a light_n of_o confidence_n and_o security_n stream_v into_o my_o soul_n the_o darkness_n of_o all_o former_a doubt_v and_o hesitancy_n be_v dispel_v then_o put_v my_o finger_n or_o i_o know_v not_o what_o other_o mark_n between_z i_o shut_v the_o book_n and_o now_o with_o a_o serene_a and_o untroubled_a countenance_n relate_v all_o to_o alipius_n who_o also_o thus_o discover_v what_o shall_v be_v do_v likewise_o in_o he_o which_o i_o observe_v not_o he_o request_v to_o see_v what_o i_o have_v read_v i_o show_v he_o the_o place_n then_o he_o look_v attentive_o further_a than_o i_o have_v read_v who_o know_v not_o what_o follow_v there_o find_v these_o the_o next_o word_n he_o that_o be_v weak_a in_o the_o faith_n receive_v you_o which_o word_n he_o apply_v to_o himself_o and_o so_o show_v they_o to_o i_o but_o this_o very_a admonition_n sufficient_o confirm_v he_o and_o straight_o without_o any_o afflict_a delay_n do_v he_o join_v himself_o to_o i_o in_o this_o good_a and_o holy_a resolution_n so_o please_v and_o agreeable_a to_o his_o former_a manner_n in_o the_o virtuous_a inclination_n of_o which_o he_o always_o aforetime_o have_v far_o surpass_v i_o thence_o we_o go_v in_o to_o my_o mother_n we_o relate_v our_o resolution_n to_o she_o she_o rejoice_v we_o tell_v she_o all_o the_o circumstance_n thereof_o she_o exult_v and_o triumph_n and_o fall_v a_o blessing_n thou_o who_o be_v able_a to_o do_v above_o that_o which_o we_o ask_v or_o think_v because_o she_o see_v so_o much_o more_o grant_v she_o by_o thou_o concern_v i_o than_o ever_o she_o have_v petition_v thou_o for_o with_o all_o those_o her_o miserable_a and_o lamentable_a groan_n for_o in_o such_o a_o full_a manner_n do_v thou_o convert_v i_o unto_o thou_o that_o i_o seek_v now_o no_o more_o after_o wife_n nor_o after_o any_o other_o hope_n of_o this_o world_n stand_v now_o with_o she_o upon_o that_o rule_n of_o faith_n c._n faith_n see_v 3._o l._n 11._o c._n as_o thou_o have_v in_o a_o vision_n represent_v i_o unto_o she_o so_o many_o year_n before_o 30.11_o psal_n 30.11_o and_o thus_o thou_o turn_v her_o mourning_n into_o gladness_n into_o a_o gladness_n much_o more_o plentiful_a than_o that_o she_o have_v aspire_v to_o and_o much_o more_o precious_a and_o chaste_a than_o that_o she_o have_v promise_v herself_o from_o her_o grandchild_n of_o my_o body_n lib_fw-la ix_o chap._n i._n doxology_n and_o thanksgiving_n for_o this_o his_o freedom_n from_o his_o former_a lust_n and_o the_o great_a joy_n and_o content_n he_o present_o receive_v therein_o 116.16_o psal_n 116.16_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o be_o thy_o servant_n i_o be_o thy_o servant_n and_o the_o son_n of_o thy_o handmaid_n thou_o have_v break_v my_o bond_n insunder_o i_o will_v offer_v to_o thou_o the_o sacrifice_n of_o praise_n let_v my_o heart_n and_o let_v my_o tongue_n praise_v thou_o 35.10.3_o psal_n 35.10.3_o and_o let_v all_o my_o bone_n say_v o_o lord_n who_o be_v like_a unto_o thou_o let_v they_o say_v this_o and_o do_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o say_v thou_o again_o unto_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o thy_o salvation_n alas_o who_o and_o what_o a_o one_o be_v i_o what_o evil_a be_v not_o i_o evil_n either_o my_o deed_n or_o if_o not_o deed_n my_o word_n or_o if_o not_o word_n my_o will_n but_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v good_a and_o merciful_a and_o thy_o right_a hand_n sound_v the_o profundity_n of_o that_o my_o death_n and_o draw_v out_o of_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o abyss_n of_o corruption_n sum_v up_o in_o this_o to_o will_z all_o that_o thou_o will_v and_o to_o will_v all_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o but_o where_o be_v all_o this_o while_n during_o so_o many_o year_n and_o out_o of_o what_o low_a and_o deep_a retreat_n of_o my_o soul_n do_v thou_o thus_o in_o a_o moment_n call_v forth_o that_o my_o now_o indeed_o freewill_n wherewith_o i_o shall_v submit_v my_o neck_n unto_o thy_o easy_a yoke_n and_o my_o shoulder_n unto_o thy_o light_a burden_n o_o jesus_n christ_n my_o helper_n and_o my_o redeemer_n how_o sweet_a on_o a_o sudden_a become_v it_o now_o unto_o i_o to_o want_v the_o sweet_n of_o those_o toy_n and_o what_o before_o it_o be_v my_o fear_n to_o lose_v how_o be_v it_o now_o my_o joy_n to_o dismiss_v for_o thou_o the_o true_a and_o the_o supreme_a sweetness_n do_v expel_v they_o from_o i_o thou_o expel_v they_o and_o thyself_o entere_v into_o i_o instead_o of_o they_o more_o delicious_a than_o all_o delight_n but_o not_o to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n more_o bright_a and_o glorious_a than_o all_o light_n but_o to_o the_o inward_a hide_a man_n exalt_v above_o the_o height_n of_o all_o honour_n but_o not_o to_o those_o who_o exalt_v themselves_o now_o be_v my_o mind_n free_v from_o those_o consuming-care_n of_o seek_v honour_n and_o of_o get_v wealth_n and_o of_o welter_v in_o pleasure_n and_o scratch_v the_o tickle_a and_o itchy_a scab_n of_o my_o lust_n and_o now_o my_o infant-tongue_n begin_v to_o converse_v with_o thou_o my_o ambition_n and_o my_o riches_n and_o my_o salvation_n my_o lord_n god_n chap._n ii_o his_o purpose_n to_o relinquish_v his_o profession_n of_o teach_v rhetoric_n but_o the_o thing_n defer_v till_o the_o vintage-vacation_n and_o it_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o before_o thou_o not_o tumultuous_o to_o break_v off_o but_o yet_o gentle_o to_o withdraw_v any_o further_a service_n of_o my_o tongue_n in_o those_o fair_n of_o loquacity_n that_o the_o young_a man_n who_o meditate_a not_o thy_o law_n not_o thy_o peace_n but_o lie_v foolery_n and_o forensick_a war_n may_v no_o long_o buy_v from_o my_o mouth_n arm_n for_o their_o madness_n and_o now_o there_o remain_v but_o a_o few_o day_n to_o the_o vacation_n of_o the_o vintage_n which_o i_o resolve_v patient_o to_o endure_v that_o i_o may_v relinquish_v my_o school_n at_o a_o accustom_a season_n and_o be_v now_o purchase_v by_o thou_o may_v return_v no_o more_o to_o be_v thus_o expose_v to_o sale_n this_o be_v then_o my_o purpose_n agree_v on_o before_o thou_o and_o among_o ourselves_o but_o not_o think_v fit_a to_o be_v divulge_v to_o other_o abroad_o although_o thou_o have_v give_v unto_o we_o ascend_v from_o the_o valley_n of_o tear_n and_o sing_v unto_o thou_o in_o this_o our_o ascent_n a_o song_n of_o degree_n and_o of_o joy_n 4._o psal_n 120.3_o 4._o sharp_a arrow_n and_o hot_a burn_a coal_n against_o the_o deceitful_a tongue_n which_o under_o pretence_n of_o advise_v our_o good_a avert_v we_o from_o it_o and_o as_o it_o use_v its_o meat_n in_o love_v consume_v we_o but_o thou_o have_v shoot_v through_o our_o heart_n with_o the_o love_n of_o thou_o and_o we_o carry_v the_o arrow_n of_o thy_o word_n stick_v in_o our_o entrail_n and_o the_o example_n of_o other_o thy_o servant_n as_o hot_a burn_a coal_n who_o thou_o have_v make_v of_o once_o black_a and_o dead_a now_o lively_a and_o lucid_a be_v throw_v into_o the_o bosom_n of_o our_o serious_a cogitation_n fire_v and_o consume_v our_o former_a heavy_a stupidity_n that_o our_o motion_n like_o that_o of_o fire_n shall_v point_v no_o more_o downward_o to_o low_a thing_n which_o example_n have_v kindle_v such_o a_o flame_n in_o we_o that_o all_o the_o blast_n of_o contradiction_n