voudra si gronce Et courroucer si s'en courrouce Car ie n'en mentiroye mie Si ie denoye perdre la vie Ou estre mis contre droiture Comme Sainct Paul en chartre obscure Ou estre banni du Royaume A tort comme maistre Guillaume De sainct Amour qu'hipocrisie Fit exiler par grand ' enuie Ma mere en exil le chassa Le vaillant homme tant brassa Pour verité qu'il sustenoit Vers ma mere trop desprenoit Pource qu'il fit vn nouueau liure Où sa vie fit tout ' escrire Et vouloit que ie reniasse Mendicité labourasse Si ie n'auoye de quoy viure Bien me pouuoit tenir pour yure Car labourer ne me peut plaire D'aucun labeur n'ai-ie que faire Trop y a peine à labourer Mieux vaut deuant les gens orer Et affubler ma renardie Du mantel de papelardie A. O fol diable quel est ton dit Et ce que tu as ici dit F. Quoy A. Grans desloyautes apertes Ne crain-tu donc pas Dieu F. Non certes Car à peine peut homme atteindre Chose grande qui Dieu veut craindre That is Be wroth or blithe who so be For I woll speake and tell it thee All should I die and be put downe As was Saint Poul in darke prisoun Or be exiled in this caas With wrong as master William was That my mother hypocrisie Banished for great enuie My mother flemed him Saint Amour This noble did such labour To sustaine euer the loyalte That he to much agylt me He made a booke and let it write Wherein his life he did all write And would each renyed begging And liue by my trauelling If I ne had rent ne other good What weeneth he that I were wood For labour might me neuer please I haue more will to ben at ease And haue well leuer sooth to say Before the people patter and pray And wry me in my foxery Vnder a cope of papelardy Quoth Loue What diuell is this that I heare What words tellest thou me here What sir Falsenesse that apert is Than dreadest thou not God No certis For seld in great things shall he speed In this world that God would dreed These places I haue here alleadged for three causes First that the Reader might better perceiue what is meant by this counterfaite gospell as being a thing verie memorable albeit I omitted it in my former discourse Secondly that the contents of those bookes written by William de sancto Amore which were afterwards burnt by Pope Alexander the fourth might the better be knowne Thirdly to giue the Reader to vnderstand that his bookes were not onely burned but himselfe also banished France for speaking the truth Notwithstanding here we haue to note that if he who was onely banished about the yeare 1260. had but liued three hundred yeares after he should not haue scaped so scot free for they would haue set him to haue disputed with fire and fagot as they did infinite others within these fiftie yeares As for the history which I said was very memorable I find it to be so for this reason in that by comparing that age with ours we see the great subtilty and craft of the diuell For he hath dealt me thinkes in this case I meane in bringing this false gospell into credit as Princes many times do with their subiects who when they see they cannot endure to heare of taxes subsidies or imposts vse the word borrowing which in the end commeth all to one reckoning as Solon the ancient lawgiuer made that to passe for currant vnder the name of Sisachthia which vnder his owne ancient name was thought too rigorous The like pollicy hath the diuell vsed in tampering with this his execrable gospell For perceiuing that the name progresse and proceeding of the eternall Gospell in such sort as hath bene said displeased all men he knew well how by changing the name to retaine the doctrine so that he is come to the point and period which he first propounded to himselfe And that it is gentle Reader euen as I say if euer thou hast read the holy Gospell consider whether it were not high time for the diuell to confront it with another of his owne forgery though vnder another name to bring in that which the Popes creatures call the seruice of God consisting of such a number of pompous glorious glittering shewes and tricks of conueyance that the greatest Doctor of them all should should haue worke enough thoug he took three daies respite to reckon vp onely their bare names and yet peraduenture in the end might come short of his reckoning For let vs consider a litle what a long tayle of absurdities this one word Merits draweth after it being flat contrary to the doctrine of the Gospell First touching the diuers sorts of them and then the matter of euery sort For there is as we know meritum congrui digni condigni or rather de congruo digno condigno c. And as for those which they cal good works affirming them to be the substance of merits we know that there are simple good works works of supererogation besides sundry others which I caÌ„not staÌ„d vpon But wherein may we thinke do these good workes consist Verily in all manner of deuotions and good intentions by which the Clergie might haue wherewith to fill their panch in â—inging singing quaueâ—ing mumbling gâ—umbling pattering a million of Masses great litle hie and low Masses with a sop of wine and dry Masses Item Masses for quicke and dead called Masses de Requiem Masses of our Lady of Pitie our Lady of Vertues our Lady of good Newes our Lady of all Beauties c. Masses of Saint Sebastian Masses of Saint Gâ—degran of Saint Guerlichou of Saint Aliuergo of Saint Andoch also Masses of all men and women Saints men and women Confessors if there be any such men and women Martyrs To be short Masses in the name of the eleuen thousand virgines And yet this is not al for there are Masses for Fraternities Masses for hunters Masses for wâ—rriers Masses for Deacons and Subdeacons and for them that are neither with a rabble of others which I cannot remember After if we come to the tooles of one onely Masse as the Albe the Stole the Girdle the Mâ—niple the Amict the Cope or Chasyble c. The Platine or Patine the Pixe the Censour I speake not of the host because it is not included within the number of the Massing tooles For for it alone the stage is erected and for it all this pageant or rather tragedy is plaied As for their apish tricks friskes and gambols we haue touched them before in a word or two as also the miraculously subtill and more then Pythagoricall secrets which lie hid aswell vnder the said turning tricks as vnder the tooles and trinkets of the Masse Consider now good Reader a litle
Now it would be tedious to giue but a light touch to those manifold fables which they haue broched of their lying Saints as of Saint Christopher Saint George Saint Catherine which neuer saw the light nor euer had being saue onely in picture and imagination And which they shame not to tell vs in their lying Traditions as namely of the bodily assumption of the virgin Mary into heauē c. In their lying reuelations as of the deliuerance of Traians soule out of hell c. And which they dayly broach in their lying reports as that Ignatius Loiola was rapt vp into heauen and saw the holy Trinitie in three persons and one essence and that God shewed him the patterne which he layd before him when he made the world And lastly in their lying letters of the miracles done by the holy Fathers of their societie in the West Indies as that a burning taper of a cubit length being set before Xauiers tombe burnt aboue three weekes day and night without wasting That a man who neuer saw further then the length of his nose opening Xauiers tombe and rubbing his eyes with his hand recouered his sight That a peece of his whip and girdle cured all sorts of diseases and a thousand such like which our holy Mother calleth Pias fraudes godly cosinages and the milke which Saint Paul gaue the Corinthians to drinke being vnable to digest stronger meate as a Frier at Gaunt was wont to say And no maruel they should send vs ouer so many Legends or rather legions of lies and such a fardle of fooleries out of forraine countries when they are not ashamed to feed vs at home with as fine fables and that not onely in print but also in picture as namely that some for the Catholick cause haue bin here in England put into Beares skins and baited with mastiues That others haue had bootes full of boyling grease pulled on their legs And that others haue bin shod with hot iron shoes c. That Luther was begotten by an Incubus and strangled by the diuel That Caluin was a stigmatick and banished for a Sodomite That Bucer renounced Christian religion at his death and died a Iew. That Beza reconciled himselfe to the Church of Rome and died a Catholicke That Iewell after his challenge at Pauls Crosse being requested by a Catholicke to shew his opinions out of the Fathers should answer that he spake not as he thought but ad faciendum populum as they say That Doctor Sands Archbishop of Yorke should entice his hostesse to vnlawful lust when as the world knowes she was brought to his bed as Lais the famous strumpet was to Xenocrates That Queene Elizabeth had a blacke beard That when Campion was drawne to the place of execution the water in Thames stood still That a Preacher in London speaking against the holy virgin Hallensis was suddenly twicht out of the pulpit and caried away by the diuell These few examples I haue here alleadged out of their old Legends and late worthy writers as Cochlaeus Staphylus Bolsec Surius Coster Puteanus and such like the Popes parasites partly to shew their diffidence in defence of a bad cause that as foule gamesters when they cannot make their part good by faire play begin to quarrell with their fellowes or to cog with a di◠so they not able to maintaine their Catholick cause by plaine dealing are driuen to defend it with a tricke of a false finger namely with one of these three figures of Roman Rhetoricke to which they are so much beholding Auxesis in aduancing their fauourites Meiosis in debasing their opposites and Pseudologia which in Latin is termed mendacium we Englishmen call it a lie Partly to shew that they haue small reason to lay lies in other mens dishes seeing all the packe of them from the proudest Pope to the poorest hedge-priests are but a lying generation For as lying wonders are his part as the Apostle saith so wondrous lies are theirs as the former examples do sufficiently declare And lastly to let the Reader see what a spirit of giddinesse what strong delusions what efficacy of error God in his iust iudgement sends vpon them to beleeue lies because they receiue not the loue of the truth We were in good hope they would at the last haue bene ashamed of these Legendary lies when as their owne writers began to distast them For Petrus de Alliaco exclameth against them in his booke de Reformatione Ecclesiae And it was one of the hundred grieuances which the Germans cōplained of that their Friers fed the people with fables and told them nothing but tales out of the pulpit And Viues writing of the Lombardica historia saith that it is not fit to be read by any Christian and that he cannot imagine why it should be called the Golden Legend considering it was written by a man ferrei oris plumbei cordis And Bristow himselfe reiects certaine of their miracles which saith he we reade in I know not what Legenda aurea And as for that execrable booke of Conformities written by Bartlemew de Pisis for that of Iohannes Capella one of Saint Francis his schollers and that other of Ieremie Bucchius are not altogether so notorious euen the Friers themselues after the light of the Gospel began to dispell the darknesse of Popery were so ashamed of it that they called it in again and laboured to suppresse it by buying vp all the copies they could heare of that the world might neuer for shame know how shamefully they had abused our forefathers But behold the malice of the diuel who of late is growne farre more impudent as he who knowing his time to be but short meanes to vse it to the full proofe For that which our good Catholickes in former ages were ashamed once to heare of his impes at this day sticke not to defend For now if a man do but once call the counterfait history of Saint George Saint Christopher or Saint Catherine into question he shall straight with Virgerius be suspected of heresie and expelled their societie And it is no longer since then the other Mart that we receiued an Apologie in defence of this worthy worke of Conformities written by one Henrie Sedulius a Minorite Frier against the Alcoran of the Franciscans yet so performed as that it doth not onely call his modesty but his wits also into question Therefore seeing they are not ashamed to thrust vpon vs such rotten wares and to rake vp such rusty stuffe out of the dead dust and darknesse wherein time and shame haue suffered them to rest Necessary it is we should 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 cast some of their filth in their faces againe and answer fooles according to their follies that so they may haue a qui pro quo a Rowland for an Oliuer at leastwise oyle for their vineger But lest
and mar-Prince as Mar-Prelate We must therefore distinguish inter salem Mercurij salem Momi between festiuity and scurrility vrbanity and ribaldry Inter iocos cruentos eruditos between such iests as will suffundere sanguinem and those that will effundere that is betweene such as will make our aduersaries blush and those that will make them bleed So that iesting being rightly leueled in regard of his obiect for it is no new saying Non patitur lusum fama fides oculus and rightly bounded I meane kept within the banks of Charity Sobriety may wel be vsed that in two cases either in way of honest recreatioÌ„ or in dealing with obstinate hereticks and enemies of the truth who hauing bin confronted confuted a thousand times ouer persist stil in their former follies albeit they bring nothing but the painted face of Iezabel rotten stuffe newly varnished ouer and old cole-worts in a new dish that so they may be as the Lord threatneth the obstinate Iewes a by-word and a prouerb a hissing and a derision to all that are round about them For proofe whereof to passe ouer prophane writers as Cicero Horace Quintilian and the like who in some cases preferre a pleasant conceit before a sound argument as when Horace saith ridiculum acri Fortius meliùs magnas plerumue secat res The current of the ancient Fathers is in this point concurrent some teaching the lawfulnes of it by precept others by practise Irenaeus derides the Valentinians calling them pépones sophistas and their Aeônes cucumeres cucurbitas The like doth ClemeÌ„s Alexandrinus Strom. lib. 7. And Ignatius epist. ad Tral Tertullian saith that if he laugh them to scorne and deride their dreames and dotages he serues them but right Nam multa saith he sunt sic digna reuinci ne grauitate adorentur And Hermias a Christian Philosopher hath written a booke which he cals Gentilium Philosophorum irrisio wherein he finely stouts the folly of the heathen Philosophers Why then shall it not be lawful for vs to do the like in iesting at those who iest at God and his holy truth Experience teacheth that an Ironicall speech doth often pierce deeper and sticke closer to a man then a sound argument It is the Physitians 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for as that serues to cure the diseases of the body so this the maladies of the mind It is the corrasiue which Elias applied to the gangreine of Baals Priests that had so dangerously infected the people of the Iewes Cry aloud for he is a God either he â—alketh or pursueth his enemies or is in his iourney or it may be he sleepeth and must be awaked It is the salt which Elizaeus cast into the barren waters of Iericho For as they could not be cured but by the salt which he cast into the fountaine so neither can the waters vpon which the Scarlet strumpet sitteth being people and multitudes and nations and languages be cured of their spiritual barrennesse or of the Romish pock and Aegyptian scab except the salt of the Sanctuary as I may say be applied to their sores What more frequent in Scripture then such kind of Ironies Behold man is become as one of vs to know good and euill Now therefore we must looke to it lest he put forth his hand and take of the tree of life and eate thereof and so liue for euer Go vp and prosper for the Lord will deliuer the citie into the hands of the King The Prophet Isaiah is commaunded to take vp a parable or a taunting speech as the word signifieth against the King of Babel and to say How art thou fallen from heauen ô Lucifer son of the morning And he derideth the brutishnes of Idolaters who of the same wood whereof they make a fire to warme themselues to bake their bread and rost their flesh make a God to worship And how doth the holy Ghost play vpon the very places of Idolatry as namely vpon mount Oliuet when he nicknameth it as I may say calling it no more Mons mishchae the mount of Oliues or of vnction but by an excellent Antonomasy Mons mashchith the mount of corruption And Bethel is no more called Beth-el the house of God but Beth-aven the house of iniquity Now if any modest mind shall haply take offence at some of his broad speeches or shall thinke that they might haue bin better spared I shall desire him to consider that it is not so easie a matter to find modest words to expresse immodest things as himselfe saith Chap. 34. § 2. that he hath but laid forth the liues of Popish Prelates as Suetonius is said to haue written the liues of the Emperours Eâ—dem libertate qua ipsi vixerunt and that there is no reason that some should commit their villany with impunity and that no man may speake against it with modesty or that writers should be counted baudy Bales that is knaues for publishing it they honest men who practise it As for those wit-foundred and letter-stricken students I meane those cloudy spirits that are so wedded to the Muses that they become enemies to the Graces and can relish no discourse except it be full fraught and farced with Ob. and Sol. Videtur quod sic probatur quod non c. Let them a Gods name enioy their Dunses and Dorbels their BanÌ„es and Bambres their Royards and blind bayards so they measure vs not by their owne meatwand making their minds the modell for all men but giue vs leaue to vse our liberty and to imitate the practise of prudent Physitians who apply the medicine to the malady with particular respect of the patients temper not giuing the same potion to a queasie and a steele stomach For euery plummet is not for euery sound nor euery line for euery leuel Al meats are not for euery mans mouth nor all liquors for euery mans liking The ignorant multitude and profound Clarks are not to be perswaded with the same arguments For popular perswasion the learned prise not and deepe demonstration the simple pierce not They must also remember what Saint Augustine saith Vtile est plures libros à pluribus fieri diuerso stylo non diuersa fide etiam de quaestionibus ijsdem vt ad plurimos res ipsa perueniat ad alios sic ad alios autem sic That is It is good that many bookes should be written by many men that of the same argument in a different style but not of a different faith that so the same truth may be conueyed to many to some after this manner to some after that Touching the Translation I haue not much to say for I do not professe my self a Translator neither do I arrogate any extraordinary skil in the French tongue I leaue both to the skilfull Linguists of our moderne languages as stately Sauile flourishing Florio graue
Grimeston facile and painful Holland c. Yet this I hope I may truly say that I haue expressed the meaning of my Author both truly and fully and that I haue not lost either the life or the grace of any conceit where it was possible to be kept Which I speake not as doting vpon mine own doings for I am not so in loue either with the work or workmanship with the matter of the booke or the manner of handling nor the gay coate that I haue put vpon it as Heliodorus was of his amorous discourse of Chariclea called the Aethiopian history who chose rather to leaue his Bishoprick then to cal in his book I am rather of Marcilius Ficinus his mind who hauing translated Plato into Latin came to his learned friend Musutus Candiot to know his opinion of it where Candiot after he had perused some few leaues perceiuing that it would not satisfie the expectation of the learned considering it was but slubbered ouer and that it resembled the originall as Cicero the yonger did his father in nothing but in name takes a sponge and hauing dipped it in an ink-pot blots out the first page then turning him to Ficinus Thou seest quoth he how I haue corrected the first page if thou wilt I will correct the rest in like sort To whom Ficinus very mildly answered No reason that Plato should be disgraced through my default and so refined it again Who notwithstanding hauing done the best he could by his rusticall simplicitie resembles the maiesty of Plato's style if we may beleeue Scaliger no otherwise then as if an Owle should represent an Eagle If therefore any candide Candiot for I appeale onely to such as haue skill in the French tongue shall shew me that I haue done the like in translating this Apologie and that I haue not attained to the Venus of the French the finenesse fitnesse and featnesse of the phrase I refuse not the sponge so that he will correct me and not controll me As for the rest I shal desire them to spare their censure till they haue learned their Littleton But lest any carping companion should brag that he had found a hole in my coate and that he could shew where I haue missed the cushion I do here correct my selfe and confesse a fault in the translation Chap. 15. § 1. which as in my necessary absence it passed the presse before I was aware so if it come to a second reuiew shall haue his due correction As for other scapes sauing such as haue escaped the Correctors care I know none except some sciolus shal iudge it a fault to translate à pain à pot at bed and board à pot à cueillier at racke and manger Entre Paris Lyon betwixt Yorke and London Chien de S. Roch Tobies dog c. As though it were neuer lawfull to translate sexcenta fiue hundred And albeit it be bootlesse to complaine of those infinite rubs that lay in my way and those many difficulties which encountered me in my course yet he that shall duly consider the Authors intricate notions his obscure allusions his manifold though not impertinent excursions his continuall repetitions of the same phrase in diuers senses for Homers 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 noted by Martial and Tullies esse videatur by Mountaigne are not so frequent as Stephens à se propos and last of all his infinite parentheses which were enough to exercise the patience of a Saint will no doubt if he haue but a graine of candor aswell with conniuency passe ouer such faults as are triuiall as taxe those with some easie censure which he shal find to be materiall As for the rigide censurer who is crudelis in animaduertendo I shall desire him but to make triall himselfe in translating of two or three paragraphs and then I doubt not Quin fuerit studijs aequior ille meis Touching the phrase I desire the lesse fauour for albeit I am not ignorant that tailers and writers are now in like esteeme that if they haue not new fashions they are not fancied and if the style be not of the new stampe the author is but a simple fellow and may put vp his pipes yet I haue of purpose so tempered my style as that it might content the iudicious nothing respecting the iudgement or censure of our finical affecters who are so humorous leauing inkhorne phrases and tapsterlike termes for the tauerne and affected straines of Oratory for the stage and auoiding especially the French fripperie because I would not haue it seeme to be a translation Now before I conclude I am to aduertise thee courteous Reader that of two editions of this Apologie I haue here followed the latter viz. that of Rigauds Anno 1592. the rather because I was giuen to vnderstand that the Author himselfe not long before his death did reuiew the former edition of Mareses and left it corrected as here thou hast it I haue also obserued the seueral sections in euery Chapter as they are in that Edition haue added the figures for thy ease and for more distinct reference in the quotatiō of places which notwithstanding through the Printers ouersight hath not bin obserued till the 12. Chapter And whereas thou maist haply expect another booke to second this because the Author cals it The first booke of the Apologie for as Demonax saith in Lucian 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Thou art to know that as Francis de l'Isle intending to write three books of the life of Charles Cardinall of Lorraine and the house of Guise concluded all in one so our author purposing to haue added a second and it may be a third vnto this first by reason of his great emploiments and manifold distractions hath shut vp all in one making the Preface to the Reader serue not only as a specimen but as a supplement in stead thereof as thou maist better vnderstand if it please thee to reade the Preface to the second part § 2. The materiall faults which corrupt the sense I haue corrected according to the page and line as thou maist see in the end of the booke where I shall desire thee to begin to correct before thou begin to reade In the Preface to the Reader pag. 12. lin 1◠thou maist if thou please for The cudgell marres loue The cudgel made loue reade The cudgell kils loue The cudgell kindled loue Other literall and lesse faults which haue escaped either my pen in writing or the Printer in correcting I leaue to thy iudicious candor And thus much if it be not too much shall suffice for the present till this world being ended I bring thee further newes out of another world London Nouemb. 6. Anno 1607. This very day iust one and forty yeares since the first Edition of this Apology and the day after the gun-powder Treason HENRIE STEPHEN TO THE READER THVCYDIDES in the Preface to his historie hath an excellent saying worthy our serious
them not For we may well thinke that men in those dayes were not onely good guardians in keeping the vices whereof their auncestors left them inheritors but improuers also in increasing their stocke by adding of new And verily I must confesse that I haue not reaped so great a haruest nor gathered so plentifull a vintage out of their workes and writings but that many gleanings and after-gatherings remaine behind for such as haue moe idle houres then my selfe For who so shall diligently peruse the Sermons of these three Doctors shall find that I haue omitted a number of notorious and prodigious facts which haue bene discouered in part by ancient Poets For proofe hereof consider what Menot saith The sonne would plucke out his fathers eyes to enioy his goods And I perswade my selfe that the booke in which children studie least and which grieueth them most is the life of their fathers where he alludes to a booke called Vitae Patrum written of certaine Ancients who were thought to haue led a strict and holy life And a little before Alas how is it possible to find friendship among enemies when loue is not to be found among kinsmen no not betweene parents and children brethren and sisters Now that this sinne is of great standing may appeare by Hesiod whom Ouid hath thus expressed Viuitur ex rapto non hospes ab hospite tutus Non socer à genero fratrum quoque gratia rara est Imminet exitio vir coniugis illa mariti Lurida terribiles miscent aconita nouerca Which Marrot hath thus turned On vit desia de ce qâ—'on emble oste Chez l'hostelier n'est point asseuré l'hoste Ne le beaupere auecques le sien gendre Petite amour entre freres s'engendre Le mari s'offre à la mort de sa femme Femme au mary fâ—â—t semblable diffame Per mal-talent les marastres terribles Meslent souuent venins froids horribles That is All liue on spoile One where the warie guest Suspects his falser host Elsewhere the sonne His second father feares Nor can one brest One wombe shield brothers from dissention The faithlesse wife conspires her husbands bane And he in fell reuenge seekes hers againe The cruell step-dame deadly poyson brues c. He afterwards speakes of children who abhorre to studie or reade in the booke called Vitae Patrum Filius ante diem patrios inquirit in annos That is The sonne for raising of his owne estate Wisheth his father dead ere natures date True it is indeede these words For raising of his owne estate are not in the Latine howbeit they are added very fitly to make vp the sence as any man may perceiue and they accord with that of Menot that children would plucke out their fathers eyes to enioy their goods And as they complained in old time of other vices so of the neglect and want of iustice For this is an ancient prouerbe if we regard the sence rather then the words Greater theeues hang the lesse agreeable to that of Iuuenal Dat veniam Coruis vexat censura columbas That is Poore Doues are payd whilst Rauens sâ—â—pen free And it suteth well with the saying of that famous Law-giuer Zaleucus that lawes are like to cobwebs for as small flies 〈◊〉 caught in them when as the greater breake through them so poore people or such as cannot prattle apace are insnared in them wheras the rich or such as haue glib tongues breake through them by force not vnlike to that in Terence quia non rete Accipitri tenditur neque Miluio Qui malè faciunt nobis illis qui nihil faciunt tenditur Quia enim illis fructus est in illis opera luditur Which is spoken by a smell-feast or good trencher-man called by this Poet a Parasite who hauing boasted that he did strike and beate whom he listed and plaid the pike in a pond and that none durst once quinch or speake a word against him being demanded the reason of this so great boldnesse answered Because the net is not spread for the Sacre or Kite which annoy vs but for those harmlesse birds that do not hurt vs for there is some profite in these as for the rest it is but labour lost The Poet indeed which I speake only by the way vseth a word which as some are of opinion signifieth all kind of haukes whether sparrowâ— haukes faulkons or others But I rather vse the word sacre considering the common phrase in euery mans mouth vsed in way of a prouerbe C'est vn sacre as if a man should say he is a spend thrift or a deuouring gulfe It is also taken for a glutton or a wine-bibber And good father Menot fol. 138. col 1. forgets not those that exclaime against the poore haue nothing to say against the rich For examining the history of the woman who was taken in adultery and brought before our Sauiour Christ he demandeth the reason why 〈◊〉 brought not the adulterer also To which he presently answereth It may be saith he he was a rich maÌ„ This is the common practise at this day they accuse poore men but haue not a word to say against a gros goddon Which word I 〈◊〉 of purpose as being an excellent good French word though now almost worne out of vse vsed also by Oliuer Maillard his ancient fol. 22. col 4. O gros goddons damnati infames scripti in libro Diaboli fures sacrilegi But to returne to our former argument touching great and small flies Some there be who make the Philosopher Anacharsis author of this comparison affirming that his meaning was thereby to let Solon a law-giuer as well as Zaleucus vnderstand that the paines he tooke in making lawes was but in vain Now whereas they who father it vpon Zaleucus report he should say that as the flie and the gnat falling into a cobweb are there intangled whereas the Bee and the waspe breake through and flie away so the poore c. They who father it vpon the Philosopher Anacharsis in stead of great and small flies signifying the poore and the rich vse a comparison betweene light and waightie bodies which in my conceit hath not so good a grace But the Flie is vsed fitly in another comparison which will not be amisse here to relate It is that by which Metrodorus counselled those that would liue in any state or common wealth or vnder any gouernment that they should be carefull to auoid two extreames viz. the bottome of basenesse and the height of honour that they be neither like gnats nor Lions seeing gnats are quashed at the very first and men euer watch to take the Lion at aduantage Further we heare how these Preachers exclaime against the pompe and brauery of women and how Maillard for his part calleth them femmes à la grand ' gorre and femmes gorrieres that is women gorgeously apparelled finicall and fine as fippence and how he findeth fault with their
puts me to a plunge to inuent a name answerable to their nature I meane a word sufficiently emphatical to expresse their wickednes But for want of a better they may not vnfitly be called thrise accursed damned Atheists 10 I come now to those hel-hounds of the damned crue who not content to belch out their blasphemies among their mates companions like themselues or in presence of those whom they would gladly anger by swearing and blaspheming nor to furnish the table at great feasts and merry meetings with them where they passe for currant vnder the name of ieasts and pleasant conceits do further set them forth in print that all the world may take notice of them Who knoweth not that this age hath reuiued Lucian againe in the person of Francis Rabelais making a mock of all religion in his diuelish discourses or what a prophane Scoggin Bonauenture des Perriers was in deriding of God and what pregnant proofes he hath giuen hereof in his worthy worke The marke we know which these varlets aimed at was outwardly indeed to make as though they would but driue away melancholike dumps and passe away the time with pleasant discourse But indeed and truth to insinuate themselues by varietie of ieasts and quips which they cast forth against the ignorance of our forefathers which was the cause they suffered themselues to be abused and as it were led by the nose by superstitious Priests and by this meanes A ietter des pierres en nostre iardin as it is in the French prouerbe that is to mock and gird euen at Christian religion it selfe For after diligent perusing of their discourses it will easily appeare that it was their maine drift the onely marke and scope which they aimed at to teach the Readers of their bookes to become as honest men as themselues that is to beleeue in God and to be perswaded of his prouidence no otherwise then wicked Lucretius was that whatsoeuer a man beleeueth he beleeueth in vaine that whatsoeuer we reade in Scripture of eternall life is written for no other end but to busie simple idiots and to feede them with vaine hope that all threatnings concerning hell and the last iudgement denounced in the word are nothing but meere bugs like those wherewith we terrifie yong children making them afraid of the fayry hob gobling or bul-begger in a word that all religions were forged and framed by the braine of man And I feare me such masters haue but too many schollers at this day readie to listen to such instructions For some there be who are not as yet plaine Atheists but onely inclining that way who deale with the knowledge they haue of God as sicke men do with the licence of Phisitians For as sicke patients notwithstanding they haue resolued to eate and drinke what themselues think good and not what the Phisitian shall prescribe importune him to dispence with them against his prescript for such and such meates as though it would do them more good or lesse hurt when they haue once obtained such a licence so is there a generation of monsters rather then of men who notwithstanding they haue resolued to go on in their wicked courses though their consciences checke them neuer so much yet could wish with al their hearts they might follow them with consent thereof and therefore labour by all meanes to extinguish and obliterate all sense and knowledge of God out of their minds the light whereof doth shew them the leudnes of their liues And they can make no shorter a cut nor take an easier course to come to the period of their intended purpose then to go to schoole to the foresaid Doctors To conclude the bookes which haue bene written by these two worthy writers and their pue-fellowes are so many snares or baited hookes layd to catch such simple soules as are not well guarded with the feare of God being so much the more hard to be espied by how much they are better sugered ouer with merry conceits delighting and tickling the eare And therefore all those that feare to go astray out of the right way wherein God hath set them must be admonished to beware of such hunters As for professed Atheists they are the lesse to be pitied considering they fall not into such snares at vnawares but voluntarily intangle themselues therein 11 But what shall we say of Postel and such like scribling companions Verily I know not what conceit others may haue of them for mine owne part to speake that which I haue often said since I was acquainted with Postels braine-sicke blasphemies partly from his owne mouth and partly by his writings and had seene so many silly soules deluded and bewitched by them I haue not a little wondered why any man should maruell that Mahomet could win so many countries kingdomes to his fond fancies and doting dreames For is it not much more strange that Willâ— Postel preaching in the face of the Vniuersitie of Paris about thirteene yeares ago that an old beldame whom he called his mother Ioane should saue all women as Christ did all men should find so many disciples then that Mahomet should make the world beleeue that men onely went to heauen and not women If Postel had preached such fooleries I say not to the citizens of Paris but to the simplest sots of Auuergne or the rudest Normans not to learned men but to silly idiots which could scarce tell their fingers not since the trash and trinkets of Popish trumperies were discouered but whilest the darknesse of ignorance and superstition was more grosse and palpable then that of Aegypt which a man might haue felt as it were with his finger yet might we well wonder how euer it was possible that such diuelish doctrine should find entertainment How much more then that it should not onely be entertained but highly esteemed especially in that citie which hath this long time bragged and doth euen at this present to be the flower of all France and the onely paragon for matter of true riches such as arts and sciences are But some may here haply reply and say that though many went to heare him in such multitudes that for the very throng presse of people they were in danger to be smothered yet is it not probable he should haue any disciples or followers except some of the simpler sort To which I answer and that confidently as knowing it to be a most certaine truth that he gaue such a relish to his words that he made many men otherwise learned and wise to sauour them who before they had heard him scorned and derided them as the fondest impietie and foolishest foppery in the world Further this wicked wretch not content to vtter these his monstrous blasphemies in priuate to such as resorted to him hath set them forth in print and therefore is in the number of those of whom we now speake Howbeit I cannot well tell whether a man may find in any of his bookes certaine
speeches which he vttered in the Realte at Venice in my hearing and in the hearing of sundry others viz. that if a man would haue a perfect absolute religion indeed he must compound it of Christian religion Iudaizme and Turcizme and that there were many excellent points of doctrine in the Alcoran if they were well considered Who will not now confesse that our age surpasseth all the former as wel in blasphemies as in other villanies blasphemies I say not proceeding of ignorance as in former time but of a cankred malicious mind against the known truth How can this be may some say Though the argument in hand will not permit me to giue a reason hereof yet thus much I will say by the way that it is because the diuell seeing himselfe more hotly and furiously assaulted now then before provides himselfe of more furious souldiers to giue the repulse For whilest blindnesse and ignorance raigned far and wide in the world and that his former forces were sufficient he needed no such succour and supply as now he doth being dayly weakened by the losse of his strongest holds 12 I proceed to another worshipfull writer who thinking his pennie as good siluer and his blasphemies as worthy to be registred as the best hath set them forth in print and I shall desire him not to take offence if I presume to name him seeing himselfe thought it not amisse to set his name to his booke though full fraught with such fearfull blasphemies the title whereof is this The inuincible tower of womens chastitie written by Francis de Billon Secretary printed at Paris Anno 1555. cum priuilegio Regio And not content with this flourishing title he hath set his hand and marke to euery copie as his verses to the Reader in the beginning of his booke may testifie a thing I take it neuer done by any before Howbeit his blasphemies are not once to be compared with these last spoken of but with those rather mentioned in the beginning of this Chapter where I haue shewed how the audacious impietie of fawning flatterers and pestilent parasites was come to this to apply the diuine attributes and sundry sentences spoken of God in holy Scripture to mortall men But I will here set downe his blasphemous words leauing them to the Readers discretion to place them as they deserue He therefore intending to shew that there is an absolute conformitie in all points betweene the Prophets of God who were pen-men of holy Scripture and the French Kings Secretaries saith fol. 239. At and before the comming of the Sonne of God he appointed other Secretaries which may be called his Clearkes as being chosen by him or registred in the booke of his diuine prouidence which in speciall manner were called Prophets vnder which the name Secretary is comprehended all of them depending vpon him and his beloued Chancellor who was then to come but now is come And in that roll thus framed in the heauenly mind they were inrolled and registred vnder the highest maiestie in the same manner that other Secretaries are registred in the French Kings roll himselfe being first and his Chancellor next And a little after as Moses is placed in the diuine register in the third place as pen-man and great Audiancier of Gods word so my Lord Huraut Secretary and great Audiancier of France is the third in the Kings And somewhat after like vnto Ioshuah who succeeded Moses is the Secretary Orne who being Lord chiefe Baron of the Exchequer resembles the Prophet Ioshuah in sundry things Againe to Ioshuah succeeded the Prophet and Secretary Samuel borne of an old and barren woman long before his natiuitie consecrated vnto God an honest vpright and sincere good man most content with his owne estate who liued till he was very old like vnto whom Longuet principall Secretary to the King and ancientest of them all is registred in the Kings records in a higher ranke then any of the rest as Samuel was in Gods who as c. And beginning afterwards to discourse of seuen other Prophets he saith As Esdras was visited by the speciall grace of God so the mightie Florimond Robertet aliâs d'Alluye was visited in his bed by Francis the French King his Lord and maister And straight after he addeth among the Prophets and pen-men of Scripture the foure great Prophets are to be numbred by whom those famous notaries the foure Euangelists are figured viz. Esay or Matthew Ieremie or Mark Ezechiel or Luke Daniel or Iohn as Gods Secretaries who seeme to haue had greater employment then the rest in resemblance of the foure secretaries or notaries of the Kings house otherwise called Maisters of the Requests sirnamed if I tell them in order Bourdin Sassi c. Afterwards he descendeth to the small Prophets with whom he compareth the Lords Neuuille Courlay Bohier c. And last of all he comes to those who in cōparison may be termed Prophets or Secretary gager◠that is hired Secretaries as Semeya Virdei Elizeus Ahias Iehn c. to the number of 59. comparing them to the 59. honorable Lords viz. Babou Picard Forget Gaudart c. And winding vp his discourse he breakes forth into this patheticall exclamation O most certaine and worthy correspondence neuer knowne of any mortall man vnto this day This is the goodly inuention of our architect of the inuincible tower by which he thinketh he hath playd the man and wonne the field as we say Now let the Reader iudge whether I accused him wrongfully of blasphemy or not And verily if he would take any counsell I would aduise him to leaue this diuelish discourse out of his booke in the next impression lest he wrong and shame many honest men whom he perhaps thinketh he doth greatly grace and honour thereby I would further let his mastership vnderstand against the second impression that there is no such Prophet in the Bible as Virdei but that vir Dei is as I may say the Epithete or sirname of Semeia as when we say Francis the foole we meane not two distinct persons but one and the same man the word foole seruing onely to describe the said Francis by his proper Epithete 13 Another kind of blasphemie published in print by these goodly authors remaines yet behind farre stranger then the former so that he which wil not grant any of them to be proper and peculiar to this age cannot but confesse that this agrees vnto it quarto modo as Logicians speake I meane the manner of translating vsed by Sebastian Castalion in turning the Bible into French For wheras he should haue sought out the grauest words and phrases fitting so worthy a subiect it is plaine that he studied for absurd base and beggerly words at leastwise such as would rather stir the spleene and prouoke the Readers to laughter then giue them light to vnderstand the meaning of the holy Ghost For example where S. Iames saith chap. 2. v. 13. Gloriatur misericordia aduersus
Gregory Champion Clement Westfield Iohn Crosse Thomas Crambrooke Thomas Bayll Iohn Hamfield Iohn Iherom Clement Grigge Richard Touey and Iohn Austine Other Sodomites in the Church of Canterbury among the Monkes of Saint Benet are these Richard Godmershan William Litchfield Christopher Iames Iohn Goldingston Nicholas Clement William Cawston Iohn Ambrose Thomas Farleg and Thomas Morton Other Sodomites in the Cathedrall Church of Chichester Iohn Champion and Roger Barham Item in the Monastery of Saint Augustine Thomas Barham sodomite The catalogue of whoremasters and adulterers is too long and therefore I will speake onely of their stoutest champions that is of those who kept many whores some of which like towne-buls not contenting themselues with a round halfe dozen had nine others eleuen in remembrance of the eleuen thousand virgins others thirteene and some twenty But because I will not depriue them of the honour giuen to their fellowes these are their names In the Church of Canterbury among the Monkes of S. Benet Christopher Iamys played the whoremonger onely with three maried women William Abbot of Bristow had but foure whores whereof one was maried In Windsor Castle Nicholas Whyden priest had but foure In the same place George Whitethorne had fiue Nicholas Spoter fiue Robert Hunne fiue Robert Danyson sixe Richard Priour of Maydenbeadley fiue In the Monastery of Shulbred in the Diocesse of Chichester George Walden Priour had seuen Iohn Standney seuen Nicholas Duke fiue In the Monastery of Bathe Richard Lincombe had seuen whereof three were maried he was a Sodomite besides In the Cathedrall Church of Chichester Iohn Hill had but thirteene This is much may some say but what is it to Iohn White Priour of Bermondsey who had twenty It is commonly thought that there were aboue 400. Couents of sundry sorts of Monkes and Nunnes in England besides those that belonged to the begging Friers which were nigh two hundred Now let the Reader calculate how many bastards there were then in England I meane Monks bastards begottē of strumpets And if there had bin a visitation of Religious houses throughout France Italy and Spaine at the same time let the Reader iudge what sweet doings would haue bin found At the same time I say because their dealing in the darke was not then so plainly discouered and layd open as it hath bin of late time and therefore they had farre better meanes to defray such charges and to bleare the eyes of the world then euer they had since Hitherto I haue said nothing of Germany for albeit it be of greater extent then any of the former yet it is thought to haue bin more barren of such bastard slips I meane these Friers brats and lesse pestered with such vermine Howbeit we need not doubt but that they also haue followed the game as well as their fellowes At least this we reade in the arraignement of the Iacobins of Berne that they were found feasting and making merry in the Couent among fine dames not in the habit of Monks but of gentlemen 6 Further there go sundry other reports of Franciscans and Iacobins who haue bin taken leading their strumpets about with them attired like nouices And verily it was a politick course of theirs to permit their displing Friers to leade nouices about in this sort for vnder that pretext they had alwayes a Ganimede or a whore by their side Howbeit I perswade my selfe that since a Franciscans nouice was deliuered of a child in a ferry boate as they crossed ouer the riuer Garumna a fact almost as strange as the deliuery of Pope Ioane they haue bin a litle more wary in obseruing the old rule Si non castè tamen cautè If not chastly yet charily 7 Now it is not of late yeares onely in this age or in that wherein Menot liued that these stoned Priests haue manifested by their practises how the poore people were abused in beleeuing that there was as great difference between them and Seculars in regard of fleshly concupiscence as betweene cocks and capons For in a booke written against the Carmelites about the yeare 1270. called The firy dart this to omit other particulars was layd to their charge The principall cause of all your gadding to and fro in towne and country is not to visit the fatherlesse but damsels not widowes which are in griefe and anguish of spirit but yong wanton wenches and Beguines Nunnes and naughty packs He that thus reproued and admonished them being the generall of their order who since that time resigned vp his place and forsooke his cowle also as some affirme Guil. de sancto Amore who liued about the yeare 1256. saith no lesse The begging Friers saith he leade Beguines about the country with them which way soeuer they go groūding their practise vpon the place of S. Paul Haue we not power to leade about a sister a wife See here gentle Reader what these silly soules said in those dayes But what would they haue said may we thinke if they had heard of such a fry of fornicating Fryers as hath bin mentioned Moreouer to the end they might more finely flout both God and men they haue made no bones that I may adde one thing more touching their Beguines whom they caried about with them to forge and frame a religion according to which their Monks and Nuns after they had made some proofe of their continency lay wallowing together like swine in the filth of their fornication in the meane time bearing the world in hand that though they companied together in this sort yet that they were no more tempted with carnall concupiscence then two logs of wood lying one by the other 8 And thus much of the pranks playd by these Frier-dockers Now in winding vp of this Chapter I will resolue this one question Why Monks and Fryers are called Beaux-peres Ghostly fathers One considering their doings in the darke and insisting vpon the word peres that is fathers made these verses in imitation of a Latin Distich Or ça Iacobins Cordeliers Augustins Carmes bordeliers D'où vient qu'on vous nomme Beaux-peres C'est qu'à l'ombre du Crucifix Souuent faisons filles ou filz En accointant des belles meres That is Ye Iacobins Carmelites Cordeliers Augustines and all ye fornicating Friers How came ye by the ghostly fathers names For vnder the Crucifixe and high Aulters We wont to get vs sonnes and daughters In kind acquaintance with our ghostly dames But to leaue ieasting for the author of this Hexastich was merrily disposed albeit he slaundered them as we know but with a matter of truth I am of opinion that Beaux-peres is all one as if a man should say Beaux-vieillards Faire old men which I do the rather thinke because 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a word of the vulgar Greek seemeth to be corrupted of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is faire and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is an old man which Epithete argues that they haue
perswade him that it was the diuell which appeared vnto him and tempted him and so he died the third day after persisting obstinate in this opinion This story I found in a fragment of a Latin booke the author whereof is not knowne written faire in parchment and seemeth to be of great antiquity at leastwise of as great as such Ecclesiasticall records may be But who euer was the author thereof certen it is he was a fauourer of the fraternity For he speaketh of them as being one of the same order and giues them brotherly warning to looke to themselues I will therefore alleadge the Latin story word for word as I copied it out of the said fragment which I take it neuer came to light before for otherwise I would haue contented my selfe to haue aduertised the Reader thereof Howbeit if it haue passed the presse I shall do no man wrong but my self sith I haue eased the Reader of so much paine in the copying of it out Certaine of mine acquaintance to whom I shewed it are of opinion that it is to be found in a booke called Vitae Patrum DE MORTE HERONIS SENIS Heronem post multorum laborem annorum deceptum quòd non habuit discretionem ET vt hanc candem definitionem antiquitùs à sancto Antonio caeteris patribus promulgatam recens quoque sicut promisimus confirmet exemplum recolite id quod nuper gestum oculorum vestroruÌ„ vidistis obtutibus senem videlicet Heronem ante paucos admodum dies illusione Diaboli à summis ad ima deiectuÌ„ quem quinquaginta anniâ— in hac Eremo commoratum singulari districtione rigorem continentiae tenuisse meminimus solitudinis secreta vltra omnes hîc commorantes miro feruore sectatum Hic igitur quo pacto quáue ratione post tantos labores ab insidiatore illusus grauissimo corruens lapsu cunctos in hac eremo constitutos luctuoso dolore percussit Nónne quòd minus virtute discretionis possessa suis definitionibus regi quà m consilijs vel collationibus fratrum atque institutis maiorum maluit obedire Siquidem tanto rigore immutabilem 〈◊〉 continentiam semper exercuit solitudinis cellaeque ita iugiter secreta sectatus est vt ab eo participationem inâ—undi confraternitate conniuij ne veneratio quidem dici paschalis aliquando potuerit obtinere in qua fratribus cunctis pro anniuersaria solemnitate in Ecclesia retentatis solus non poterat aggredi ne quantulumcunque perceptione leguminis parui à suo videretur proposito relaxasse Qua praesumptione deceptus Angelum Satanae velâ—ti Angelum lucis â—um summa veneratione suscipiens eiusque praeceptis prono obediens famulatu semetipsum in puteum cuius profunditatem oculorum non attingit intuitus praecipitem dedit de Angeli videlicet sui sponsione non dubitans qui â—um pro merito virtutum ac laborum suorum nequaquam posse firmauerat vlli iam discrimini subiacere Cuius rei fidem vt experimento suae sospitatis euidentissimè comprobaret supradicto se puteo nocte intempesta illusus iniecit magnum sc. virtutis suae meritum probaturus cum inde exisset illâ—sus De quo cum penè iam exanguis ingenti fratrum labore fuisset extractus vitam die tertia finiturus quod his deterius est ita in deceptionis suae permansit obstinatione vt ei nec experimentum quidem mortis suae potuerit persuadere quòd fuisset daemonum calliditate delusus Quamobrem pro meritis tantorum laborum annorum numerositate qua in eremo perdurauit hoc miseratione humanitate summa ab his qui eius compatiebantur exitio vix à Presbytero Abâ—ate Paphnutio potuit obtineri vt non inter biothanatous reputatus etiam memoria oblatione pausantium iudicaretur indignus And here I thought it not amisse to alleadge another place out of the same booke where mention is made of an Abbot who was in like sort deluded by the diuell though not so dangerously as the former DE ILLVSIONE ABBATIS IOHANNIS IN quo etiam Abbatem Iohannem qui * lico commoratur nouimus nuper illusum Nam quum exhausto corpore atque defecto perceptionem cibi biduano ieiunio distulisset accedenti ei ad refectionem die postero veniens diabolus in figura Aethiopis tetri atque ad eius genua prouolutus Indulge inquit mihi quòd ego tibi hunc laborem indixi Itaque ille vir tantus discretionis ratione perfectus sub colore continentiae incongruenter exercitatus intellexit se ab hoc calliditate diaboli circumuentum talique distentum â—eiunio vt lassitudinem non necessariam immò etiam spiritui nocituram fatigato corpori superponeret paracharaximo scilicet illusus numismatis cum in illo veri regis imaginem veneratus est parum discutit an esset legitimè figuratum Vltima verò obseruatio huius probabilis trapezitae quam de inquisitione ponderis esse praediximus taliter implebitur si quicquid gerendum cogitatio nostra suggesserit omni scrupulo retractantes atque in nostri pectoris trutina collocantes aequilibratione iustissima perpendâ—mus an plenum honestate communi sit an timore domini sit graue an integrum sensu aut humana ostentatione aut aliqua nouitatis praesumptione sit leue an meriti eius pondus inanis cenodoxiae non iniminuerit vel adroserit gloria sic ea protinus ad examen publicum trutinantes id est ad Prophetarum Apostolorum actus ac testimonia conferentes vel tanquam integra atque perfecta illis compensantia teneamus vel tanquam imperfecta atque damnosa nec illorum ponderi consonantia omni cautione ac diligentia refuâ—emus CHAP. XXV Of Blasphemies vttered by Popish Prelates THe blasphemies of our good Catholickes of the Popish Cleargie I here handle apart from those of the Laitie not intending thereby to honour them or thinking it more fitting and beseeming them but yeelding rather to my memory which doth not alwayes furnish me with fit examples as ofteÌ„ as I could wish but maketh me to attend and wait whereby I am constrained in the meane time to intreate of some other argument whereof I haue examples more ready at hand But the Reader can lose nothing by the bargaine for the longer my memory causeth me to stay the more examples it affoordeth me afterwards which I communicate impart vnto him 2 But not to dwell too long in the preface we haue here first to note that whereas it was said in old time as it were by way of a prouerbe He sweareth like a gentlemaÌ„ for it was thought a thing vnbeseeming a base paisâ—nt to renouÌ„ce God non pertinere ad rurales renuÌ„tiare DeuÌ„ as we heard before out of Menot others were wont to say do euen at this day He sweareth like a carter or he sweareth like an Abbot or he sweareth like a Prelat But leauing the
Agnus Dei Thus prophanely abusing euen the holy Gospell it selfe which is Gods-spell to charmes and sorceries and magicall incantations which are no better then Diuels-spels as we may see in Menots sermons 8 As for those who apply the Scripture written expresly of our blessed Sauior to their Saints we shal not find neither can we desire more notable examples then those before mentioned taken out of the book of Conformities For what could the diuel himself if he were here in proper persoÌ„ do more to prophane the holy Scripture then the author of that damnable booke hath done in applying not only texts of Scripture spoken expresly of Christ to this diuellish impostor so as he sticketh not to say in the end of the booke Multa quidem alia signa fecit Franciscus quâ— non sunt scripta in libro hoc but those also which are written of the Patriarchs Prophets Apostles and other holy Saints of God But if these particularâ— applyed to Fryer Francis shall not haply giue satisfaction to all I will here alleadge others of S. Dominicke Let vs therfore heare what Barelet not contenting himselfe with the former places saith further of his Saint Dominicke and of his order Haec saith he est illa religio quae in vnâ— veteri Testamento significata Zachar. 6. Ecce quatuor quadrigae c. that is for I will onely translate these words See what an excellent religion this is which was prefigured in the old Testament by Zachar chap. 6. Behold there came foure chariots out from betweene two mountaines In the first chariot were red horses that is MINORITES In the second blacke horses that is EREMITES In the third were white horses that is CARMELITES In the fourth lusty horses of diuers colours to wit the PREACHING FRIERS 9 But these Doctors not content to abuse the Scripture to make sport as when they made iests of certaine texts or to fill their purses and panches the better as when the Franciscan applied that to his Saint Francis or the Iacobin to his Saint Dominicke which was spoken of Christ being accustomed to a wanton kinde of licentious libertie in playing and dallying therewith made it come at their whistle and serue them for all assaies euen to confirme their dreames and dotages though no more to the purpose then Magnificat for Mattins to vse their owne prouerbe In whose Postils and Dominicals albeit there be almost as many examples as leaues or lines yet two or three shall suffice And first we will beginne with the iolly Preacher Barelet who vpon these words in the last of Saint Luke Art thou onely a Pilgrime in Ierusalem and knowest not the things that haue bene done there in these dayes saith that Christ was a Pilgrime in three respects for to fit his purpose the better I must translate peregrinus a Pilgrime namely in regard of his apparell his lodging and the implements which he carried about with him First for his habit and attire a Pilgrime hath a bottle a scrip a hat and a staffe So Christ had first his bottle viz. the flesh which he tooke of the virgine Mary which was of three colors First white through the virgins purity Apoc. 19. After I saw the heauens open behold a white horse Secondly red with the blood of the crosse Esay 63. Why are thy garments red Thirdly black when his body became blacke and blew vpon the crosse Esay the 53. Et liuore eius sanati sumus Secondly he had a scrip to wit his soule full of the gold of grace and glory Thirdly he had a hatte namely a crowne of thornes Fourthly a staffe viz. the crosse This is the reason why it is said Art thou onely a pilgrime in Ierusalem namely in regard of his attire He was also a pilgrime in regard of his lodging For pilgrimes c. And did not Menot reason with very good grace saue that his argument was not in forma when he argued thus Chorea est iter circulare Diaboli iter est circulare Ergo chorea est motus Diaboli and proued the minor that Diaboli iter est circulare by these places Iob. 1. Circuiui terram note that it is the Diuell which speaketh perambulaui eam 1. Peter 5. Circuit quaerens quem deuoret And Psal. 11. In circuitu impij ambulant But let vs heare a more strange deuice hammered out of his owne head and consider how trimly he descanteth vpon the ground of the GaÌ„muth VT RE MI FA SOL LA in a mimicall manner playing vpon euery note with some text of Scripture as if the holy Ghost had purposely written it for that end For he playes vpon VT with a text beginning with VT and vpon RE with another beginning with RE and so of the rest Which fond and phantasticall conceipt because it could not be kept well in English I haue here set it downe in his owne words in Latine fol. 29. Col. 1. Vos mundani audite quia ad vos dirigitur verbum nec est meuÌ„ sed illius qui pependit in â—ruce Luc. 6. Vae vobis qui ridetis quia flebitis Et timeo ne canteâ—is semel cantilenam damnatorum qui sicut columba habet gemitum fletum pro cantu Hic cantus habet sex notas valdè miserabiles scilicet VT RE MI FA SOL LA Primam notam proferâ— quilibet damnatus dicens Vtinam consumptus essem ne oculus me videret Iob. 10. SecundaÌ„ verò addit dicens Repleta enim malis anima mea Psal. 87. Et omnes alij respondent cum eo Repleti sumus despectione Psal. 122. Tertiam omnes insimul cantant dicentes Miserabiles facti sumus omnibus hominibus 1. Cor. 15. Quartam cantat quilibet eorum dicens Facies mea intumuit à fletu Iob. 16. Item faciem meam operuit caligo Iob. 23. Quintam addunt omnes simul dicentes Sol iustitiae non est ortus nobis in malitia nostra consumpti sumus Sap. 5. Sextam cantaÌ„t simul dicentes Lassati sumus in via iniquitatis Sap. 5. Et iterum Lassis non datur requies pellis nostra quasi clibanus exusâ—â— estâ— defecit gaudium cordis nostri ac conuersus est in luctum chorus noster cecidit corona capitis nostri Vae nobis quia peccauimus Thren vltimo 10 They further abuse the Scripture in tying themselues to the words like an Ape to his clog neuer considering the scope and circumstances of the place albeit their manner is not to stand vpon the literall sense at all but to reduce all they haue to say to certaine Allegoricall Anagogicall and Tropologicall senses For example Menot to shew that we are not to wonder that the most holy Saints dearest seruants of God should be so sore afraid when death drawes neare and knocks at the dore hath these words What would you haue vs more certaine of our saluation then S. Paul who was rauished in a vision and
digest it considering there are many things there ript vp farre worse without comparison then any of the former consider with me good Reader a little how the diuell hath openly mocked and plaied as it were with the nose of Christendome in publishing this booke blindfolding in the meane time the eies of the world For he vsed him as his instrument in the compiling and publishing thereof who laboured tooth and naile by word and writing to make a hotch-potch of these two religions if they may be called religions viz. Mahometizme and Iudaizme with Christian religion him I say he vsed as his Amanuensis who publikely preached and stifly maintained sundry grosse heresies not onely full of blasphemie but euen repugnant to ciuill honesty I meane that worshipfull writer master William Postell But how may some say was it euer possible that this booke being composed by such a vile monster was not suspected as it should haue bene had it bene deliuered by an Angell from heauen For answer whereunto we are to know that the diuell as I said hath exposed Christendome as a laughing-stocke and wonderment to the world and hath as it were with Mercuries pipe lulled our Argosses asleepe whose office is to stand Sentinel ouer the State True it is I confesse the villanies of these varlets were not so well detected in those dayes as they haue bene since notwithstanding so much was then discouered as was sufficient to giue warning thereof which I will leaue as being now God be thanked sufficiently well knowne and will come to the phrase and style of the booke I say then and will iustifie it to any skilfull Hebrician that he hath coyned sundry Hebraismes and fained them of his very fingers and foisted them among those which are vsuall and ordinary in the Scripture As for the phrase it is so affected that it doth plainely bewray it self The matter also of the booke was forged by such a spirite as Postels was if he were not the author thereof in scorne of Christian religion where the author to make a faire florish and colour the matter with some probabilitie hath inserted certaine sentences of the Euangelists in manner of a rhapsodie and shuffled in others to which he supposed he could giue some lustre by certaine texts of the old Testament as namely that of the water of Iealousie c. Thus thou seest gentle Reader to what impudencie some diuellish spirits are grown at this day But if any curious Athenian desire to heare more of this stuffe I meane of such counterfaite bookes foisted in by the craft and subtilty of Sathan he shall find a great lurry of them in a booke called Orthodoxographa Theologiae sacrosanctae and garnished with sundry other flanting titles which seemes to haue bene written of purpose in scorne and derision of Christian religion For if the doctrine therein contained be orthodoxall doubtlesse the doctrine of the Bible must needs be hereticall Necessary therefore it is we should haue a speciall regard to what writings we giue such glorious titles seeing that in giuing it to one we take it from another they being as coÌ„trary as day and darkenesse If any shall here say that some of them are translated out of Hebrew and others out of Greeke yet when he hath proued the point he may put the gaine in his eye For it is easily answered that the diuell can shew him selfe a diuell as well in Hebrew and Greeke as in any other language Now this Protoeuangelium I haue encountered rather then any of the rest for that it is fathered vpon Saint Iames cosingerman and brother to Christ as the title purporteth For in the first impression which is in a smal volume with the annotations it hath this title Proteuangelion siue de natalibus Iesu Christi ipsius matris virginis Mariâ— sermo historicus diui Iacobi minoris consobrini fratris Domini Iesu Apostoli primarij Episcopi Christianorum primi Hierosolymis Howbeit in the second impression where it is made a part of the foresaid booke intituled Orthodoxographa S. Iames is not called cosingerman but onely brother of Christ. I haue I say encountred this booke rather then any of that rable to the end the Reader by this may take a tast of the rest For if they durst publish such stuffe vnder the name of S. Iames what would they not dare to do vnder the name of Nicodemus and a number of such worshipfull writers as are there to be seene And thus much for a tast for the whole tunne is of the same liquor colour and tang There was likewise another damnable booke published since that time vnder the name of S. Iames. The Acts also of the Apostles haue bin dispensed abroad into many hands composed by one Abdias whose writings though altogether impious and prophane some haue not bin ashamed to glosse in sundry places as well in the preface as in the body of the booke and to affirme that he either tooke it out of S. Luke or S. Luke out of him Besides all these the Ecclesiasticall history it selfe hath bin published by a diuellish Monke called Nicephorus Calistus whom I call a cloister diuell not without cause For besides that he was a cloisterer by his profession he sheweth himselfe as ignorant as a Monk as impudent as a Monk as wicked and prophane as a Monk so ignorant that euen yong children may teach him his lesson so impudent that he is not ashamed to tell most shamefull lies and so prophane that he sticketh not to iest and gibe at God himselfe and his holy truth All which particulars shall one day God willing be manifested and layd open to the world 4 Now albeit the foresaid Preachers might finde in these and such like classicke writers prety store of trim tales euer ready at hand when they meant to step into the pulpit to giue their quarter blowes yet they were not negligent to furnish themselues with other maner of ware which they might mingle with the old and not euer cloy their auditory with stale stuffe Or if haply they alleadged any author they alleadged such as were â—picke and span new comming newly smoking from the presse Which puts me in mind of that which I once heard deliuered by one Bonauenture a Franciscan in a Sermon which he made at Ipre in Flanders where he affirmed that when Christ was growne a prety tall stripling able to take paines and to follow his occupation Ioseph employed him in his trade commaunding him to saw a peece of wood where he missing the marke which he had made him to saw by sawed it ouer short whereupon Ioseph being very angry would haue beaten him and he had lamskinned him indeed if he had not stept aside and taken vp a cudgell to defend himselfe which made Ioseph take vp another either of them weilding their weapon and keeping their standing And whence trow we said the Frier learned he this Out of S. Annes Gospell I warrant you And
And sutable to this tale of Purgatory I related one before of a certain ghostly father who preaching at Bourdeaux told his auditors that wheÌ„ any thing is giueÌ„ for the dead the soules hearing the sound of the mony falling into the basin or poore mans boxe crying ting ting are so exceeding glad and â—o 〈◊〉 that they laugh out for ioy and crie ha ha ha hi hi hi. Hitherto appertaines the story of a Curate of Sauoy as I remember who told his parishioners in a Sermon that Abel went euery day to Masse and payed his tithes duly and truly and that of the fairest and of the best whereas Cain made no conscience to do either And as for those who preached other points of Popish doctrine or magnified such miracles of their Saints as tended not directly to bring meale to their mill as when a Picard alleadged in commendatioÌ„ of virginitie that because Saint Paul and Saint Barbe were virgins they bled nothing but milke when they were beheaded we haue varietie in sundry places of this booke But as for the meanes which they vsed to keepe their kitchins hot I am to speake hereafter 18 Now how familiarly they preached we may perceiue by that which M. Adrian Beguine Curate of S. Germine in Noyon said on a time to his parishioners in the pulpit My friends you must haue patience with me for this time for I am bid to dinner to maister Mayor to take part of a pig otherwise par l'arme du bon fiu men pere ie vous dirois rouge rage enragée that is By the soule of my good sire I would tickle you ouer a text Another Curate in the towne of Quercie speaking of Shrouetuesday commended to his parishioners these three good Saints Saint Pansard Saint Mangeard Saint Creuard that is Saint Belligod Saint Eat-all Saint Burstenbelly 19 But they vsed more familiar and homely speeches when they fell in discourse of women which they were wont to do in handling certaine places of the Gospel as where it is said that Christ appeared first to women after his resurrectioÌ„ for then no ieast could peepe forth but babling women wold be sure to haue it by the end He therefore appeared first vnto them as knowing that this rumor would sooner be bruted abroade then if he had first appeared to men For my part I remember I was at a Sermon where this argument was handled at large and in such sort that it made all our modest maids and matrons blush for shame since which time I haue heard of sundry others of the like straine Sometimes also they extolled women aboue men because there was neuer any man so highly honored as the virgin Mary But a certaine ghostly father serued them finely in one of his sermons contrary to their expectation For hauing taken these words out of Luk. 24. for his text O fooles and slow of heart to beleeue leauing the rest as their manner was to shread the Scripture as they thought good he began to discourse how much men were disgraced in this place and how no such disgracefull speech was vttered of women in all the Scripture And yet if we consider to whom this was spoken we shal find it was spoken to the proudest Prelates in the Church Amongst other things which he alleadged in honour of women this is not to be forgotten viz. that there was no village nor hamlet so small but if you had asked for the house of a sage femme they would forthwith haue shewed it you but a man should be well serued if he should aske for the house of a sage homme And after he had graced women with many other titles of honour which were not giuen to men perceiuing by their countenances that they tooke great pleasure therein and began to fleare and giggle and to looke at men ouer the shoulder yet for all this quoth he be not so proud for I shall soone take downe your edge and hauing so said he began in this sort First there are religious orders of good men but none of good women and then Secondly and Thirdly c. forgetting none of those fine conceits which our buffons and Scoggin-like scoffers vse in gibing at the weaker sexe 20 Yet this is not all For these venerable Preachers those especially who are called ghostly fathers neuer respecting the lesson which is taught them Si non castè tamen cautè that is If not chastly yet â—â—â—rily vsed for the most part such obscene scurrilous speeches in the pulpit that it was a question whether they preached the word of God or celebrated the Bacchanalian feasts in the presence of Margot and Alizon which names I find in Iohn Menard who hauing bene a Franciscan Frier for a long time and a most zealous maintainer thereof in defending it with tooth and naile yet when it pleased the Lord to open his eyes at the last and to let him see his sinne he cast off his cowle and writ a booke against the whole pack of them called the Declaration of the rule and order of the Franciscans wherein he discouers part of their knauery Among other things he writeth how that beside their ordinary allowance and pension which they had of the Couent of Paris their manner was to aske mony for apparell bookes paper inke as also to defray the charges of their sicknesse c. that they might euer haue some little ouer-plus wherewith to visit the greene basket neare to the Iacobins or such like Tauernes and suspected houses where a man might haue found apparell of all sorts which these gallands tooke to go to the Tennis-court to play with gentlewomen disguised in strange attire yea euen Lords wiues whose husbands were non-residents from their houses He further addeth that the Franciscans of Paris played certaine games at Tennis with them vpon condition that if the Friers did win they should chuse the fairest gentlewoman and loueliest Ladie in the company and if that the gentlewomen or Ladies did win they should chuse the frolickest Franciscan But to returne to the argument in hand these ghostly fathers made no conscience to vse the same speeches in their Sermons which they had vsed in a brothel house to which purpose I could alledge sundry stories which some might haply think very pleasant but as I haue often before protested I abstaine of purpose from the rehearsall of them for doubtlesse it is enough and ouer-much that heauen earth haue bene so long infected with the stinke of them For proofe whereof though I should alleadge no other example but that which is recorded by the late Queene of Nauarre in the eleuenth Nouuelle of certaine speeches deliuered by a Franciscan in a Sermon my assertion should be strongly confirmed Who to shew how lightly he regarded the offence and scandall which he gaue by his loose and lasciuious speeches said to the goodwiues of his parish Go to faire Ladies by and by when you are pratling among your gossips you
then in any time of the yeare besides and therefore we ought to eate vse and learne more heauenly admonitions at that time c. Cha. 17. The seruitors which should serue vs at the table in Lent are the examples of the holy Martyrs which haue suffered great affliction and mysery in aspiring to glory all which serue vs in their course and place Saint Laurence serueth in fish and herrings broyled on the gredyron Saint Iohn the Euangelist boyled sea fish Saint Dennys and Saint Cosme baked pasties out of the ouen for they were cast into fornaces Sundry others there be which serueâ— in fryed fish they are such as were boyled in great coppers and caldrons for the name of Christ. Chap. 18. In Lent all the vessell is scoured and made cleane pots glasses and caldrons The table is also couered with a fayre white cloth and cleane napkins laid thereon which duty belongs to young girles women seruants and waiting maids therefore in imitation of the Virgins of heauen we ought to cleanse our vessels as pots glasses and caldrons that is our hearts For doubtlesse we seeth carnall desires in our flesh Wherefore chastity and cleanlinesse ought to bring in the white table cloth and couer the table Chap. 19. When a man hath fed well of all these dishes I suppose he hath had a competent refection so that there remains nothing but to say grace But in stead of giuing thanks they make the dice trowle vpon the tables one desires to play at dice or cards another takes a lute and playes wanton lasciuious songs touÌ„ds and horne pypes And so in stead of saying grace and giuing thanks to God they honor â—erue the diuell the inuentor of all those games and sports Do you know what the tables signifie whereat you play By the tables which you open after you are well refreshed with bodily food not with spirituall is vnderstood hell which shall be set wide open for you when you are satiate with your sinnes and then shall the tablemen be turned tumbled and tossed one vpon another that is the soules shal be tormented with diuers and sundry torments specifyed by the sundry points of the tables and the often remouing of the tablemen from one point to another Transibunt ab aquis niuium ad calorem nimium For the paines of hell are diuerse c. Chap. 20. And as for those which play vpon the Lute and sing ribaldry and baudy songs in stead of saying grace doubtlesse they much forget themselues seeing we are all bound to giue God thanks for the benefites we receiue at our repast from his liberall and bountifull hand And here I will shew those that loue to play vpon the Lute and other instruments vpon what Lute they ought to play Marke then as a Lute hath seuen strings so it is hollow By the seuen strings are meant the seueÌ„ petitions of the Pater noster with which we must giue God thanks For the Pater noster is the best forme of prayer that euer was seene for therein is contained whatsoeuer is necessary for vs. Likewise the seuen strings signifie these seuen vertues Prudence Temperance Fortitude Iustice Faith Hope and Charity which we ought to haue and to pray that God wold giue vs or they signifie the 7. vertues opposite to the seauen deadly sinnes viz. Humilitie Charity Abstinence Diligence Liberality Chastity and Patience These are the seuen strings which we ought to strike and play vpon before God rendring him thankes and praise all the Lent long The hollownesse of the Lute signifieth that our hearts should be emptyed of all things saue onely of the resounding of godly thoughts and heauenly prayses The Lute is hollow hauing nothing in it but the sounding of the strings when they are striken so ought our hearts to be emptyed of al earthly things and to haue no other resonance but of good thoughts and such heauenly meditations as are formerly mentioned The melody of the strings of the Lute c. Chap. 21. As I was about to take my pen from the paper purposing to shut my booke one of my nephewes said vnto me ô vncle you haue spoken of all saue sweet meates and banquetting dishes which you haue forgotten Indeed quoth I thou saist true my boy Whereupon I tooke my pen againe and writ as followeth None can be ignorant that sweete meates are eaten at night vpon fasting dayes in stead of a supper we ought in the time of fasting to be spiritually excercised and therfore I think it good when we are disposed to fast to eate sweet meates at night which I will here giue you By spirituall confects I vnderstand perseuerance in a good course He cannot be â—aid to fast all Lent that breaketh off his fast for two or three dayes but he must fast full fortie dayes that is it is not enough for him to abstaine from sinne certaine dayes onely but he must continue and perseuere in well doing Qui perseuerauerit vsque ad finem 〈◊〉 erit qui verò non condemnabitur And because perseuerance in obedience is so necessary I may in my poore opinion not vnfitly compare it to the round confect for roundnes signifieth perseuerance seeing that a round figure hath neither beginning nor end as this letter O made in forme of a confect 6 But leauing the rest of these Lenten subtilties to curious heads which desire to vnderstand more of this trim science seeing I haue shewed them the place where they may find them I will come in the next place to the subtilties contained in the rules as well of the religious beggars wallet cariers and rogueâ— as of the rest of that rable Howbeit my purpose is not to discourse of the subtilties of euery order particularly it shall suffice to speake a word or two generally of them all and after to intreate of some of them in special Here then let vs note that when we see either white blacke or gray Frier be he besmeared or smoaked mytred or cleane brushed yet is there not so small a rag in all his array vnder which there lieth not hidden some great mystery But how is it possible may some say but that if they be contrary one to another in their attire there should also be a contrariety in the mysteries themselues For example if girding with a cord note perfection then doubtles a large broade thong with braue buckles garnished with gallant tongues must needs signifie imperfection as those which the Augustines weare And how should these subtilties agree in such contrarietie of colours Besides all this wherein is it almost that one disagreeth not from another For one goeth barefoot another weareth half a paire of breeches another a whole paire one weareth laticed shoes another cleane couered one hath shoes of the plaine hide like Irish brogs another hath woodden shoes properly called sabots or clogs some ride some go on foot Some haue their cowles pointed others haue them round some long others
short Some are but gentleman bald others as bald as coots some are shauen aboue the eare some vnder a third sort haue but a tuft or two Some haue mony and some haue none some eate flesh and some eate none Howbeit they which brag of their skill in these speculatiue subtilties deuise all the meanes they can to make these contrarieties accord together though I feare me it is but labour lost True it is indeed in some particulars they may easily be accorded as in this that the Iacobins weare blacke in their vpper garments and white vnder the Carmelites contrarily weare white aboue and blacke vnder so that it may be said that as the Iacobins weare the virgin Maries liuery for she reuealed it to S. Dominicke so the Carmelites weare Elias and Elizeus liueries So that as they with their attire please their founders so these please their foundresse And if it be true that by the subtill speculation specially of the virgin Mary the white hood signifies puritie and virginitie doubtlesse they great exceeding well together the Iacobins being pure virgins inwardly and the Carmelites outwardly And verily if they could as wel agree in other things as in this we should haue no cause to obiect against them the diuersitie which is in their sects but there are such differences among them in some particulars that the best answer in my conceit which can be made to stop the mouthes of all gainsayers touching the diuersities or contrarieties in their orders were to say that as they hold not one way so neither do they make account to go to one place namely into the same heauen And that there are indeed many Imperiall heauens according to the opinion and doctrine of the Friers may appeare by certaine places in the booke of Conformities at leastwise we may boldly say they held this opinion 〈◊〉 â—hat there was one heauen for eaters of flesh and another for eaters of fish 7 Notwithstanding leauing the censure hereof to others I will onely particularize the sect of the Minorite Friers otherwise called Cordeliers or Franciscans because it is holden to be the perfectest of all the rest as being the onely sect that is canonized and registred in the sixt booke of the Decretals or Clementines But considering that there are subtilties to be found as well in their habits as in their course of life I will say nothing of their habits or attire saue onely of the cord and breeches because in them lieth the most profound speculation First then this cord is expounded by some to signifie perseuerance in that we vse to bind them with cords whom we feare will runne away and according to other speculatiue braines it signifieth diligence because that when a man is girded his gowne troubleth him not so much in running as when it is loose Lo here the allegoricall signification of the whole cord Let vs in the next place consider what euery knot signifieth apart by it selfe The lowest knot which often traileth on the ground mystically signifies canonicall obedience the knot in the middest which by reason of often handling is commonly more greasie then the rest by a mysticall Antiphrasis puritie and chastitie and the knot aboue wherewith they gird themselues hard their strait and extreame pouertie And as for their breeches albeit they be diuersly allegorized yet the common receiued opinion is that they signifie the sweet odour of the sacrifice of obedience because they are vsually perfumed with a most horrible smell 8 Touching their demeanour and actions in their order I will make choise onely of a few without adding the expositions of their subtill significations as hauing not found them in any Doctor By their demeanour and cariage in their order I vnderstand the ceremoniall customes of their order or rule But because the foresaid breeches are as it were the fairest flower in their garland either because they helpe to get women with child or for some other reason I will first beginne with them We are therfore to know that it is expresly forbidden the Franciscans vpon penaltie of a heauy curse that they neither come nor go eate nor sleeepe preach nor say Masse without their breeches as being mystically incorporate together with the habit only when they gall them betweene the legs as sometimes it falls out in trauaile they are permitted to put them for a time into their sleeues Moreouer in the yeare of probation before they take vpon them the profession of Monkery they learne to hold one finger in the bottome of the glasse when they drink or to hold it with both their hands to looke downe to the ground to counterfet wrynecks to hide their hands close within their sleeues to make an hypocriticall inclinabo or ducking in the Church elsewhere bowing downe the head and heauing vp the taile with an euen proportion as also to kisse the ground to kneele downe before the patres when they chance to meete them to kisse their hand cord or feet if they make not offer to kisse them I omit to speake of Cabbiges which they cause their poore nouices to set with the roote vpward as also dead stickes which they cause them to water and great bones which they make them carry in their mouthes besides a number of other trickes described by the said Iohn Menard in a booke intituled The rule and order of the Franciscans a man that could speake and write of this argument as well as another considering he was one of this order Albeit in the end through the great grace and mercie of God he left his cowle after that he had founded the profunditie of the foresaid subtilties besides a number of others which he recordeth 9 To conclude if haply gentle Reader thou be not yet fully satisfied with these subtill speculations or that thou haddest rather heare them in rime then in prose I haue found some such to content thee where mention is made of the signification of Bishops Myters whereof I haue spoken somewhat before L'aube le surplis blane denote Vie sans macule sans note La mitre de deux parts cornue Science certaine absolue Du vieil nouueau Testament Les gans des sacrez sacremens Sincere administration La crosse saine attraction De brebis à vraye pasture La croix les liures l'Escriture Des humaines affections Auecques les afflictions Les auenemens signifient Voiâ—a où caphars se confient Par belles contemplations That is The Albe and surplise white do note A life withouten staine or spot The horned Myter represents Full knowledge in both Testaments The gloues that bene all new and white Handling the Sacraments aright The Crosiers staffe most plainly shewes Reducing of their strayed ewes The crosse bookes scripture do portend Of mens desires the doubtfull end Behold what trust and deepe deuises These Prelates haue in their disguises CHAP. XXXVIII How Church-men gathered great store of riches by their fiue fetches especially in the dayes of our forefathers
the Neapolitan disease otherwise termed the French poxe the buttons or pimples whereof breaking forth and making him looke firy red the people which saw him as he was caried to the graue for they caried him in his habit or cowle with his face vncouered were perswaded that this rednesse came frō hence in that he was become a Seraphin Sure I am that the death of a gentlewoman who died of the stinke of the feete of this venerable pockie villaine which she had kissed after his death being vnacquainted with such strong sauours was so interpreted that it did in like sort confirme men in the opinion which they had of his holinesse And those doubtlesse who made no more of the rednesse of his French poxe but the rednesse of a Seraphin such was their simplicitie if they had taken him in the fact by which he got them would haue perswaded themselues that they had seene some other thing then in truth they saw or as the Latine Poet speaketh would haue made their eyes beleeue they had seen something which they saw not Much like that good fellow who perceiuing two other feete by his maisters feete who to the end he might strictly obserue the Bishops rules had his pretie wench lying by his side went so simply to worke that he cried out at the window Come sirs and you shall see my master who hath foure feet See here how all Christendome in stead of proceeding and going forward in the knowledge of these abuses went backward through the iust iudgement of God 4 Neuerthelesse this great blindnesse was neuer so vniuersall but that there were some in all ages that did discouer part of their trumperies and perceiue the wicked course of life which these Church-men led S. Bernard also as hath bene said inueyed stoutly against it And as I remember a certaine passage taken out of a booke written by Gulielmus de sancto amore hath bene alleadged for this purpose And at the same time namely about the yeare 1260. one Nicholas Gallique borne in Narbonne generall of the order of the Carmelites being no longer able to endure the wicked life of his fellow Friers did not onely forsake them and vtterly renounce their order but also writ a booke against them called the fiery dart wherein he tels them to omit other particulars that they were reprobates citizens of Sodome contemners of the holy Testament seducers of those that then liued and of those which should come after the taile of the Dragon mentioned in the Reuelation As for the bookes of the foresaid Gulielmus de sancto Amore Pope Alexander the fourth did what he could to abolish them and that by expresse edicts and commandements who also as Platina recordeth burned a book which the begging Friers had published wherein they taught that the state of grace did not proceed from the law of the Gospell as they speake but from the law of the spirit which he burned not for any great conscience he had to see the simple world so abused but for feare lest this so absurd and impudent a lie should be a meanes to discouer their other villanies This booke was called the eternall Gospell or the Gospell of the spirit gathered out of the doctrine of Ioachim the Abbot and the visions of a Carmelite Frier called Cyril by the Iacobins and Franciscans who laboured by the authoritie thereof to make their parts good against the Waldenses otherwise called the poore men of Lyons and other their aduersaries which armed themselues against them with the sword of the spirit the word of God Of this booke the foresaid Gulielmus de sancto Amore writeth as followeth This accursed Gospel is already published in the Church and therefore the destruction of the Church is to be feared If this Gospell be compared with the Gospell of Christ say they it is so much more perfect and excellent then it by how much the Sunne is brighter then the Moone and the kernell better then the shell c. Moreouer he mentioneth other like detestable sayings there recorded And of these two cōparisons honorable mention is made in the Rōmant of the Rose where the author speaketh in detestation of this booke and censureth the hypocrisie of the begging Friers who published it Vous ne cognoistrez point aux robbes Les faux traistres tous pleins de lobbes Parquoi leurs faits faut regarder Si d'eux bien vous voulez garder That is For thou shalt neuer for nothing Con knowen aright by her clothing The traitors full of trechery But thou her werkes can espie And a little after Fut or baillé c'est chose voire Pour bailler commun exemplaire Vn liure de par le grand diable Dit L'Euangile perdurable Dont le sainct Esprit fut ministre Si comme il apparut au titre Ainsi est-i◠intitulé Bien est digne d'estre brulé A Paris n'eust homme ne femme Au paruis deuant nostre-Dame Qu◠lors bien auoir ne le peust Pour le doubler si bien luy pleust Là trouuast par grans mesprisons Maintes telles comparaisons Autant que par sa grand chaleur Soit de clarté soit de valeur Surmonte le Soleil la Lune Qui trop est plus trouble plus brune Et le noyau des noix la coque Ne cuidez pas que ie vous moque Cela di sans bourde ne quille Tant surmonte cest Euangile Ceux que les quatr Euangelistes Du Fils Dieu firent à leurs titres De tels comparaisons grand masse Là trouuoit on que ie trespasse That is They broughten a booke with sory grace To yeuen example in common place That said thus though it were fable This is the Gospell perdurable That fro the holy Ghost is sent Well were it worth to ben brent Intitled was in such manere This booke which I tell here There was no wight in all Paris Beforne our Lady at paruis That they ne might the booke buy The sentence pleased hem well truly There might he see by great treasoun Full many a false comparisoun As much as through his great might Be it of heate or of light The Sunne surmounteth the Moone That troubler is and changeth soone And the nut kirnell the shell I scorne nat that I you tell Right so withouten any guile Surmounteth this noble Euangile The word of any Euangelist And to her title they token Christ. And many such comparisoun Of which I make no mentioun Might men in that booke find Who so coud of hem haue mind The same Poet makes further mention of the bookes which Gulielmus de sancto Amore writ against the fained pouertie of the begging Friers For hauing after a long and large discourse shewed what sort of begging Friers were to be tollerated and what not and hauing alleadged the Sermons of the said S. Amore for confirmation of his assertion he addeth in the person of False semblance Qui groncer en
to hold me onely to the Popes the meanes which they vsed to auoide the creating of a she Pope as once it happened in stead of a he Pope hath bene exceedingly derided of old And hereof Iohannes Pannonius hath made an Epigram wherein he rightly blazoneth their trumpery which I haue thus turned into French Nul ne pouuoit iouïr de sainctes clefs de Romme Sans monstrer qu'il auoit les marques de vray homme D'où vient donc qu'à present ceste preâ—â—e est cessée Et qu'on n'a plus besoin de la chaire percée C'est pource que ceux la qui ores les clefs ont Par les enfans qu'ils font monstrent bien ce qu'ils sont That is Of old times none Romes holy keyes did â—eare But by some markes had first his manhood showne How comes this triall out of date whilere Nor needs no chaire to make his secret knowne For that who euer now the keyes haue borne Haue by their bastards prou'd their sexe beforne And as for Popish lawes and constitutions we find that our auncestors opposed themselues against them to the vttermost of their power and forbare not to crie out mightily against the Cleargie for not abolishing them but principally against the forbidding of Priests mariages Against which we find these verses in the first place simply and plainly made O bâ—nâ— Calixte nunc omnis Clerus odit te Olim Presbyteri poterant vxoribus vti Hoc destruxisti tu quando Papa fuisti Ergo tuum Festum nunquam celebratur honestum And others after them beginning thus Prisciani regula penitus cassatur Sacerdos per hic haec olim declinatur Sed per Hic solùm nunc articulatur Quum per nostrum praesulem Haec amoueatur And a little after Non est Innocentius immò nocens veâ—è Qui quod facto docuit verbo vult delere Et quod olim iuâ—enis voluit habere Modò vetus Pontifex studet prohibere Gignere c. Mantuan likewise condemneth this Popish decree where he saith N'eust-il pas mieux valu suiure la droite voye Par où la Loy de Dieu nous meine nous conuoye En ensuiuant les paâ— des nos anciens peres Desquels la vie estoit chaste sans vituperes Quand ils se contentoyent d'auoir chacun sa femme Helas qu'est-ce au pris du celibat infame Que maintenir on veut contre Dieu nature Si non impieté pleine de forfaiture That is Were it not better follow that right path Wherein Gods royall law doth vs conduct Pressing the footsteps of our auncestors Whose life was chast and void of rightfull blame When each man was with his owne wife content Alas what 's this to that infamous life Which singly they 'gainst God and nature leade Full of leud thoughts and many a beastly deed Neither was there so much as Master Allin Charretier but cryed out against this Canon or constitutioÌ„ For as Iohn Maire witnesseth in his book called the Exile he writ against it as followeth There was long since a new Canon confirmed in the West Church seuering the order of holy Matrimony from the dignitie of Priesthood vnder the colour of puritie and Chastity but now contrarily runneth the Canon of Concubinage with entisements to worldly pompe and dignities to sensuall and fleshly sinnes and which is more the Cleargie is growen extremely and vnconscionably couetous c. A litle after What hath the constitution of forbidding priests mariages brought with it but the changing of lawfull generation into adultery and fornication and the honest cohabitation with one onely spouse into multiplication of harlots and liuing in hot and burning lust And if I should say all that I thinke I would say c. 12 But a wonder it is that our auncestors should not perceiue the villanies of that purple whore the scarlet strumpet which calleth her selfe The holy Catholicke Church seeing she neuer cloaked nor concealed them in the least manner but set them to the open view to all that would behold them as namely in the case of forbidding Priests mariages For though Pope Hildebrand made it a CanoÌ„ and constitution of the Church yet some of his successors as stories report haue bene so farre from keeping it that they made no conscience to marry their owne daughters witnesse the Epitaph of Alexander the sixt made by Pontanus witnesse also the stories which haue bene written of his life For herein I suppose he followed the example of his predecessors not to speake of those whom historians who haue written of the liues of Popes haue seuerely censured And as he was emboldened to commit incest with his owne daughter by the example of his predecessors so by his example was Pope Paulus the third heartened to do the like For he entertained his daughter Constantia and perceiuing that he could not haue her at his whistle enioy her company so conueniently as formerly he had done considering she was maried to a Duke called Sforza he poisoned her I omit to speake how kindly he entertained his sister because this incest is not altogether so vnnaturall and brutish as the former And whereas he poysoned her also because he saw that she tooke not so great pleasure in him as in others it is lesse then nothing considering the vnconscionable largenesse of Popes consciences witnesse Hildebrand who poisoned seuen or eight Popes that he might come to the Popedome And which is more remarkable after they had vsed their daughters or sisters as whores as Iohn the thirteenth did or other their kinswomen as others haue done they maried them to Princes as it is reported that the forenamed Alexanders Lucretia I meane Lucretia who was his daughter his daughter in law and his whore that is with whom he lay notwithstanding she was his owne daughter and his sonne also who was her owne brother was maried to three Princes successiuely first to Duke Iohn Sforce next he being diuorced from her to Lewes bastard son to Alphonsus king of Arragon lastly to Alphonsus d'Est Duke of Fâ—rrara And yet these holy men who haue forbidden others lawfull mariage not content to vse the liberty which Iupiter vsed in such incestuous mariages wold needs after his example haue their Ganimedes also True it is that some of them haue had great Ganimedes and others lesse So that when Mantuan speaketh hereof in his verses which formerly I alleadged I cannot well tell which of them he meaneth but sure I am that the Ganimede of Pope Iohn Maria de monte called Iulius the third was in stature feature like vnto Iupiter somewhat resembling him in the proportion and lineaments of his face as Poets haue described him which thing I speake the rather because my selfe saw and aduisedly beheld him especially at once when he sate at table with his Iupiter But these earthly Iupiterizing gods those I meane that tread in the steps of Iupiter may not haue it layd