first I saw and was undone The Time I have exactly here And to a Moment written down Don't be prophane and laugh this Diary Is Love's whole Body of Divinity 2. Other Historians as they please May light Occurrences omit But said or done whate're it is We take the Book and enter it The pettiest Circumstance of When and Why Is of vast Weight in Love's Chronology 3. To see me register that Smile You 'l call me heinous Fool I know But laugh and banter as you will 'T is down and in Great Letters too Should Frowns and Smiles be cancell'd hence no doubt My Kalendar would half be blotted out 4. That others may I don't deny Quite different Schemes for Seasons raise But 't is by These alone that I Know all my Fasts and Holydays Ah! could I there record one Kiss from Thee That Kiss alone begins my Jubilee How old Authors ought to be transfus'd into modern Languages in such manner that the Spirit of them may evaporate How the Caput Mortuum must be hermetically rimed up The way of making LucretiusWater and Sirrup-o'-Virgil of which the Reader shall have a Taste when he he gets towards the end How to tinge them both with a false Colour MY tenth Volume shall be imbellished with an account of these Essences among others viz. the Essence of a Chaffing-Dish of a Bell-founder of a Clock-maker of Stewed-Prunes of the Number 16 of Pain of Mustard and of Apples which in the new World are generally Golden besides which will be inserted the Effigies Amoris the Idea Moralis Philosophiae 7258918 different Ideas of Wisdom 12345678987654321 of Unity and 392351782 41862749283163859 of Cushediship and Weeweesiness See Bp. S t 's Letter to Mr. Lock Tractatus de Suppositalitate suppositi supponentis seu de Alleg oriarum Malleaâ—â—lium Individuatione THE Idea of Harmony is infinitely more charming than the most exquisite Compositions of Purcel Baptist 〈◊〉 Carissime This Discovery does happily supply us with Answers to several acute and judicious Quaeries What are become of the Charms of Musick says the great Author that chose himself to represent the Ignorance of the modern People Charms by which Men and Beasts Fishes Fowls and Serpents were so frequently eâ—chanted and their very Natures chang'd by which the Passions of Men were rais'd 〈◊〉 the greatest Height and Violence and then as suddenly appeas'd so as they might 〈◊〉 justly said to be turn'd into Lyons or Lamâ—s into Wolves or into Harts by the Power and Charms of this admirable Art There now remains no difficulty of solving thâ— important Doubt What are become of these Charms of Musick 'T is evident they are all in the Ideal World where they ever were and ever will be and safe enough from being lost by Inundations either of merciless Waters or barbâ—rous Enemies for either of these it seems hath at certain Periods over-power'd the Charms of this admirable Art The Life of Merlin and Mother Shipton extracted from the Miscellanea WE have found something also that may be reply'd to the following Demand What have we remaining of Magick by which the Indians the Chaldaeans the Aegyptians were so renown'd and by which Effects so wonderful and to common Men so astonishing were produc'd as made them have Recourse to Spirits or Supernatural Powers for some Account of these strange Operations Though it must be granted that the fore-mention'd Science is no where at that Perfection as in the Ideal or Supernatural World yet are there some visible Foot-steps and Rudiments of it that seem to be known in the Natural Witness that Sympathetick Powder which being infus'd by Military People into long pieces of Brass will kill a Man by Conjuration without coming near him or letting him know any thing of the matter Tho' this Instance might be sufficient to our present purpose a few more shall be added and by that means we shall put the Case beyond all Dispute 'T is certain there is still extant in the Natural World that famous Raree-show so deservedly celebrated as an Ectype of the Intelligible not to mention the Enchanted Labyrinth we travers'd in our way thither Besides who has not seen the strange Operations perform'd by the admirable Art of German Magicians Who has not had his Purse enchanted out of his Pocket or been himself enchanted out of his Senses Who knows not that a Jargon of sounding Periods tho' perfectly insignificant shall carry a Cause against the most powerful unregenerated Arguments See F. Malebranche's Treatise concerning Sir K. Digby's Grand Elixir or regenerated Medicine and convey Delusions by the Enchantment of meeâ— Sophistry Who knows not that our modern Gypsies either Stroulers or Domesticks or by what other Title soever dignify'd and distinguish'd have Power to Bewitch such Persons as take a Fancy to them or bestow upon them any kind of Benevolence And don't we every Day see a thousand strange Operations from the Power of Obstinacy and Conceit which Bewitch Men and Turn them to perfect Asses in a most astonishing and unaccountable manner Thus much we may modestly affirm in Vindication of our modern and natural Magick that A and B and C and D l are most certainly bewitched the last especially in a very eminent degree tho' by some erroneously taken for a Conjurer himself Carmina vel sanos possunt avertere sensus Carminibus Circe socios mutavit Ulyssis in vultus ac terga ferarum Did it not seem an Affront to the Memory of so great an Author as Sir W â— T 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I should be tempted to suspect either that he had not duly perused or did not well remember the learned History of the Renowned Dr. Faustus or of our famous Fryar Bacon together with the merry Waggeries of his Man Miles and the Exploits of Vandermaster the German and Fryar Bungy the English Conjurer how they studied the Art-Magick in making a Brazen-Head and a Brazen-Wall to have Walled all England with Vinegar which were Effects as astonishing to common Men as most of those renown'd Operations perform'd by the Ancient Indians and Chaldaeans You are desired to take particular notice that there is not the least witty Passage in this Section nor so much as two Words cleverly put together at least I am not conscious that any thing of that kind has here escaped me but since Accidents may happen 't is but a reasonable Request that if you should here and there have met with a Period or a Phrase a little brighter than its Fellows you would be pleased to believe the Author entirely innocent thereof and that 't is purely a Mistake of the Printers or some Blunder occasion'd by Inadvertency Apollo's Impeachment of Ulysses for Robbing his Cow-roost Abridg'd by way of Paraphrase in Seven Canto's Canto III. THey 've hackt and mangl'd 'em so Barbarous 'T would grieve Keil's Heart or Dr. Scarborow's Here Rumps and Sirloyns there a Man seeâ— Kidnies and Maws and Purtenances Brains Guts and Gore so
AN ESSAY Towards the THEORY OF THE Intelligible World Intuitively Considered Designed for Forty-nine Parts PART III. Consisting of a Preface a Post-script and a little something between By GABRIEL IOHN Enriched with a Faithful Account of his Ideal voyage and Illustrated with Poems by several Hands as likewise with other strange things not insufferably Clever nor furiously to the Purpose 〈◊〉 Archetypally Second Edition 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Why Should all the 〈◊〉 be mad but I You that are wisest tell me why Tribues HIS temporis quantum poteris Poteriâ— autem quantum voles Tully's Offices Printed in the Year One Thousand Seven Hundred c. A TABLE OF THE CONTENTS I. A Tedious Advertisement II. Concerning Prefaces III. Of the Approbation this Treatise has met with and likewise of the Author's Design his Loyalty and Eminent Poverty IV. The great Use of Defamation and of Flattery when dextrously administer'd His ill success therein V. A Section addressed to great Scholars that are not very Cunning. VI. A Parâ—phrase upon some Verses in Homer Burlesque VII The Vanity of Riches imitated from Anacreon VIII A Song IX To Flavelia X. A Song XI An Elegy upon Raisins and Almonds or the Passage from Dover to Calais XII A Song Two Epitaphs XIII Epitaph on a Maiden-head XIV The Kalendar XV. The Divided Heart XVI How Dr. Flights with Mars Bacchus and Apollo drank up the Sea to a Chorus of Thunder An Ode Phillis in Breeches A Ditty An Anagram Two Ditties An Epithalamium upon the Death of St. Epiphany Two more Ditties A Ballad A Satyr against Size-Ace A Panegyrick upon Thirteen-pence-half-penny A Word to the Wise. Seven more Ditties XVII The fair Sacrifice or a Vow to Cupid a Song XVIII A Copy of Verses upon I don 't know what XIX The Mourning Nymph a Song XX. The same varied by a Friend XXI A Section treating of my self one of the best of Subjects and such a one as both I and HER MAJESTY have Reason to be peculiarly Fond of A Discovery what sort of a Person I am together with something concerning my Mistress and the same contradicted again My own just Commendations especially that of my Great Modesty Compleat Annals of the First 55 Years of my Life A Prediction of my much lamented Death All humbly dedicated to the Manes of Mr. De Montagne St. Evremont and Sir W T e. XXII A Section following the former XXIII A Chapter chiefly designed for the Benefit of Philosophers and wise people XXIV Of the Poetical Philosopher's Stone or my Royal Imperial Angelical Critical Tincture of Parnassus for clarifying brightening and strengthening the Wit without the least Grain of Mercury XXV My Publick Spirit My Care for Posterity and Method of Educating Young Gentlemen XXVI How de Maintenon offered to make me Poet Laureate upon Condition I would speak in her Praise and how I could not tell what to say XXVII A Description of the Chaos the Construction of the Primigenial Earth its Convulsion at the Deluge the Rise of this Ruinous Orb the Generation Nutrition and Diseases of the Great Leviathan otherwise called the Trojan-Horse or a Common-wealth the Lives of Ignatius Loyola Oliver Cromwell W and S 4 a Panegyrick upon Adultery Sodomy Sedition Blasphemy and Atheism the Natural History of May-Poles together with a Chronological Account of the Rule of Three Reasons proposed against the Maintenance Breeding and Entertaining of Cats apparently tending to impoverish the Company of Mouse-trap-makers XXVIII A Section containing such sad Truths that I would not advise you to understand it nor so much as read it if it can possibly be avoided XXIX Of a wicked World and sad Times Of the Present Tense Infallibility Tradition Pope Joan Queen Dick and Alexander the Great Of the Golden Age Vtopian Regions Vcronian Days Formosa China and Peru. Of Fashion Faction Weather-cocks and Chronologers Of senile Fables Feavers Dreams and hard Beds Of St. Evremont's Woman that could not be found the Epick Poem of Empedocles certain famous Personages that never were Born the laudable Designs of certain Patriots and my tender Respect for the Republicans Of Sr. William Temple's Eloquence his Powder of Policy the Philosopher's Stone and rusty Iron Of Râ—bbing Church-yards a Barrel of Colchester Oysters Antiquity Sempronia Motion Muddy Rivers Hour-Glasses Saws Doctor's-Commons Horace's Odes Felicity Generation Travellers Procrastination Extreams Envy Distance The Macrocosm Complaints Innovations and Revolutions XXX A Section for which the Author could find no manner of Title XXXI An imperfect Description of the Raree-Show and the Musick of the Spheres XXXII A short Apostrophe to the Ideal World in which all the principal Matters are brought in by the Bye viz. An Extasy a Welcome Glory Thanks and Acquaintance A Quotation Day all abroad Mirror of Intelligences Pillars of the Fabrick of Wisdom Chaos All and Nothing Quakers Eclypses Shadows Visions and six beautiful Non-entities besides the Haecceiteiteiteiceiceiteiceity of the Haecceiteiteiteiceiceiteity of the Haecceiteiteiteiceiceity of the Haecceiteiteiteiceity of the Haecceiteiteiteity of the Haecceiteiteity of the Haecceiteity of the Haecceity of HAEC XXXIII Of Payment in part together with fair Promises concerning Unity Bonity and Specimens XXXIV Of Ancients and Moderns as likewise of a great Revolution in my Affections and three Schemes of my Nativity cast according to Mr. Hobbes's new Method of Calculation Of Dido and her Sister the Sortes Virgilianaâ— Chesnuts and how King Pepin of France was confuted XXXV Of the full Moon Intimations the Building of Babel the Will of Destiny and how Oliver Cromwel in a Passion shot off a Gun at the Solstice XXXVI My Discovery My Lineage from King Lud. My making over all to the Publick What Preferments I have bestow'd upon the Emperor and some other of my particular Friends especially upon my self to manifest the Great Respect I bear to that worthy Person the dearest to me of all the World and who seems to entertain infinitely the highest Opinion of my Merits either from a particular Kindness or as I in Gratitude rather ought to believe from a singular Excellence of Judgment XXXVII A Chapter in Imitation of Dr. B and Mr. Wotton Of my great Diligence and Success Of Slackning Of my Amaâ—nuensis my Pillow and the learned Dr. B tly with some other Matters no less considerable XXXVIII The best Section in the Book concerning seven hundred a Year XXXIX The next best Section concerning six hundred a Year XL. Concerning wonderful Things XLI Concerning Ivy. XLII Of Monsters Long-Distances Cleanliness Chancellors Transsusion of Blood Staffâ—rd-shire and the Foul Disease XLIII Of Baâ—rbican Narcissus Witches and Paper-diet XLIV How I rejoyced and why XLV Of the East-India Company XLVI Of Criticks XLVII A Section containing no manner of Treason against the Government XLVIII Several Commendatory Verses and Epistles sent me from foreign Professors XLIX A Catalogue of several Famous Persons of my intimate Acquaintance together with a Political Dissertation upon Green Peppar
off and prudently withdraw as soon as the Preface is over There are a Number of Persons in Europe who bearing an unaccountable Aversion to us learned Authors esteem the Entertainment of our Compositions no less insipid than that of our Conversations or if ever they grow a little reconciled to either of them yet still they will have it that We affect a ridiculous Singularity in Both. This say they puts us upon that preposterous Method of serving up our choicest Dainties in the first Course which so palls the Appetite for any thing less delicate that few Guests have Patience to sit out the Bill of Fare or accompany the Author till he orders Finis to take away This is Reason sufficient why I should not be so curious in Cooking that plain but substantial Meat which is still to come in Wherefore in evidence of this I do earnestly entreat all my worthy and well-disposed Readers to bear Witness for me that this Instant the First of April Old Style 1701 but of my own Age 57 We Gabriel Iohn aliàs Timothy do issue out Directions to our trusty and well-beloved Amanuensis Ezekiel Philodash that in order to prevent all future Dispute between our Book and its respective Preface as likewise all erroneous Mistakes of the hasty and ill-advised Peruser he the said Ezekiel Philodash lawfully begotten Son to Ananias Philodash and Tabitha his Concubine of the same Name and Vocation do instantly and carefully fix up an Index with a brief Inscription in Capitals notifying that ☞ HERE ENDETH THE PREFACE SECT XXXVIII The Best Section in the Book concerning Seven Hundred Pounds a Year I Doubt not in the least but some Thousands of my Readers are e'en overjoy'd to see that the Preface has some End at last having long since been quite jaded in their Spirits and vainly flattering themselves at every Section they were travelling through that there would be no more to come But if any one should have Strength of Heart to hold out if any Individual Person of indefatigable Industry innate Courage and undaunted Resolution will still press on being smitten with sweet Love of Truth and filled with glowing Zeal to search to comprehend to digest Siquis tamen haet quoque siquis Captus a more leget let him be assured that I can give him no manner of Encouragement nor do I any more know what is immediately to follow this Sentence than L can tell what shall be his next Throw at the Groom-Porters than P can predict to what Point the Wind will change or than S can prognosticate what shall be his next No-Religion SECT XXXIX The next best Section treating of Six Hundred Pounds a year HAving now thought of something to go on with I require of my Reader that he put himself in a Posture to believe it whatever it shall prove that he give up his whole Understanding Sense and Reason entirely to my Disposal for I am now enter'd upon an Ideal Pontificate and already got into an extraordinary Humour of Infallibility In Consequence whereof We Servus Servorum Animae Mundanae Platonicae have resolved determined and made a Decree that 't is safest Sailing in the Winter provided always you don't trouble your self to find whereabouts Rocks and Quicksands lie as long as they are covered over with Water and therefore we do pronounce Ex Cathedrâ that whoever offers to speak or so much as believe otherwise is Schismatick Heretick Enemy to the Ideal Hierarchy and ipso facto becomes liable to Ecclesiastical Censure and all the Penalties thereunto annex'd For if my Lady FORTUNE should come Leering and Simpering and address her self to my in the Person of telling me forsooth how mightily she is in Love with me and bringing I don't know how much or Fourty Thousand Acres of Ploughed Ground in her Lilly-white Hand cry Here Tim or Here Gabriel take what thou wilt have a Thousand Pound nay thou art very welcome take Two Pence more or as much as you have a Mind to Secretary of State will you be King of or have you a Fancy to be an Alderman De' e think now that I will take a Farthing of all this No that were a good One indeed Timothy knows better things I thank ye for you must not think to put Tricks upon Travellers The Plot thickens A Surprising Catastrophe The whole unravel'd My merry Moments How the self-enamour'd Youth died Ideally My Ware-house and Garret Of Shadows and their strange Agility in vanishing falsis datur exitus umbris portâ emittuntur eburnâ manus effugit imago Par levibus ventis voluerique simillima somno Invalidasque mihi tendens heu non mea palmas TUrning accidentally my internal Opticks towards my Ideal Garret in New Barbican what should appear to me at the Window but the Counterpart or the beautiful Idea of my self It was sitting as solitary as a Hermit but in a violent Fit of Mirth and undoubtedly under the Operation of some pleasant Conceit which is a thing very familiar to me in my Retirements And as 't is sung of the former Narcissus that his Idea in the Water as cruel as he found it never refused to smile when it saw that he smiled in Return I on the other side Narcissus alter could not chuse but rejoyce to see my Idea so joyful But here indeed I fell into a fatal and deplorable Oversight here was I seized with a rash Curiosity which has proved the sad Occasion of so much Regret and such grievous Lamentation to me and to my poor Reader Hic subito incautum Dementia cepit ibi omnis Effusus labor for by endeavouring to stare hard upon my Idea my Eyes burst open and I saw my self at that Instant relapsed into the Sensible World Thrice did I call for Help to my Guide and thrice I endeavoured but in vain to clasp hold of him My Guide the Ideal World and my own beloved and lovely Idea were all ravished from me and vanished on the sudden and behold I was sitting in the Place Father Malebranche and my own Idea had appeared to me even by my Garret-Window in Barbican where the Good Reader shall be very welcome to Paper-Diet and may be furnished at reasonable Rates with all sorts of Ballads Madrigals Anagrams Acrosticks and Heroick Poems either by Whole-sale or by Retail the Excellency of which I give him leave to judge by the following Samples ☞ HERE BEGINNETH THE POSTSCRIPT A Vow to Cupid OR The Fair Sacrifice SONG I. CVPID how oft must I implore Thy cruel Deity in vain Grant me one Boon I 'll ask no more I mean till I 'm in Love again II. Thy Chains I wear yet ne'er repine Ne'er pray to be releas'd I 'm Sylvia's let the Nymph be mine Let both be Slaves both pleas'd III. Grant this Kind Love and hear my Vow That Sylvia's self shall lye Thy Lovely Victim O do thou Both give the Wound and Flames supply Virgil's Description of the Old Man's Garden at Tarentum
untransmountable Visibility You Haecceiteity of Haecceity Idea of Ideality and Thou also O great and celebrated Non-Entity of all high and mighty Not-Beings disembogue your unsubstantial Vacuity shed forth the genial Rays of your incommunicable Impotence upon the Glandula Pinealis of my Ideal Essence enabling me to see all things that are and all things also that may be nay and even those things themselves which never were nor can be and have therefore by blind and barbarous Anti-Idealists been abus'd just as if they were so many nothings and had no manner of Intelligence How the Countess of Z X fell upon the Turkish Fleet a-horse-back How she overtook the same at St. Omers and put them to flight with a Cross-Bow THE next Observation we shall oblige you with will in all likelihood be that which follows 'T is well known how the sensible World is disfigur'd by innumerable Blemishes and a mis-shapen Brood of Monsters that affront all the Laws of Nature and disgust the judicious Observer Now in the Ideal World on the contrary every Species keeps to its just Proportions and never appears distorted in any Instance or otherwise than exactly as it should be There might you behold all shining unsullied and compleat the Essences of every Virtue and Grace of Love and of Beauty which in the sequel of my Works shall be drawn at full Length Nay the naked Essence of Deformity it self is so exquisitely Deform that what is most Beautiful and most Charming in the sensible World can never compare with it for Handsomness How Geometry and Physiognomy were improv'd by the famous Mathematician 〈◊〉 Malmesbury MY Reader being so celebrated a Well-wisher to the Mathematicks which is as much as to say Student in Physick and Astrology will doubtless receive a very particular Satisfaction from the News I am to tell him concerning all manner of Figures and Diagrams These abound in the Ideal World and are esteem'd the most excellent in their several kinds that can any where be met with There are Circles for instance many of them much resembling Hoops which also are reputed the Causaâ— Exemplares or primitive Patterns of all Hoops whatsoever There are other Circles to be seen of Mr. Hobbes's Square sort which 't is possible a common Spectator might scarce know to be Circles They are of great use in establishing a Common-wealth and demolishing immaterial Substances but the Logicians disallow them as altogether unserviceable to a Disputant For these Circles say they will afford no Assistance towards drawing up an Argument into the Round Figure which is universally acknowledged the most compleat of all Figures and to be of soverain use in War as well as in Philosophy The Difference in the two Disciplines is only this that Warriours never conject themselves into an orbicular Body but in Cases of Extremity whereas Philosophers do not only recur to this expedient when they act upon the Defensive or when they are pressed by some Necessity of their Affairs but frequently surprise the Enemy by it and use it not unsuccessfully for a Feint in making their Attacks Nay sometimes so habitual is this most excellent Practice become to them they run into it without thinking of it themselves or so much as knowing what they are about Witness a Thousand Demonstrations in the Works of C s M che N s S t H s S ck and a Thousand other worthy Authors all either as round as Ideal Hoops or at least blest with as much Dissipability as Carmina Cumaeae foliis mandata Sybillae O Theorists Foliographers Cosmarchitects Enlightners and Distracters of Sense and Reason 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Cogit enim excedere propositi formam operis erumpens animo pectore indignatio Nil egistis O 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 nil inquam egistis nisâ— Insanire juvat certâ ratione modoque Vos ego tandem Insanus inter verearne insanus haberi All Objections and Evasions answered Difficulties solved An Hypothesis proposed for assigning the Essential and Efficient Causes of the Perfection of the Ideal World together with a perfect Idea of the said Causes and the Causality of the said Idea THE Ideal Hoops or Circles are not without their Cylinder or Ideal Tub but this Vessel is now become a very empty and dry Subject According to the Dissâ—rtator upon Aesop's Fables and Monsieur de Meziarac's unseen Biography having lately been exhausted as it were in the Telling of a merry Tale. Yet still it can afford Or Pun ambiguous or Conundrum quaint Touching this Chapter my Reader will doubtless agree with me that thus far it is wretched Stuff or at least that it is not extraordinary Fine but 't is such as frequently comes into Tully 's Head and Mine and likewise Dr. B ly's O fortunam Natam me consule Roman Aesop was too short a Man to make a PROPER Ambassador However See Dissert upon Aesop's Fables We Three are not without something to say for our selves for Wit like Terse Claret when 't begins to pall Neglected lies and 's of no Use at all But in its full Perfection of Decay Turns Vinegar and comes again in Play Your Belief of this great Exactness in the Ideal Figures will be mightily eased when I shall have informed you that the Ideal Compasses c. by which they are described are no less exact than the Figures For Quod habet potest dare and the Perfection of Diagrams must follow the Perfection of Instruments Now 't is certain that material Tools are but so many clumsy and lame Businesses if compared to the admirable Contrivance of the Intelligible and yet even these material Goods how mean soever were not of human Invention but only copied from those exquisite Originals in the Ideal World There and there only are reposited the Patterns of all things that are or can be devised and 't is certain that even the famous Standards at Winchester were one time or other all borrow'd from thence The same we must acknowledge of all other Utensils and all Contrivances whatever which may serve to take down the Vanity of our conceited Discoverers For Whoever first thought of Eating or Drinking Living or Dying or pretended to invent Shining Sneering Half-crowning Acrosticks Eclipses Lord-Mayors Bread'n'butter c. he did no more than look into the Ideal World and make Transcripts of what he saw there A Panegyrick against Basilisks by a Person that pretends to be in Love with Flavelia which I believe is all a Sham. STrange Serpents that in Lybian Desarts lie Unarm'd can wound and murder with their Eye But then we find the Gasping Sacrifice When once it falls is never known to rise But you Flavelia can do more than these Your Eyes can kill and quicken when they please Hence I by fatal Turns Unhappy Swain Die but to live and live to die again N. B. This seems to be the Person above-mention'd that Invented Living and Dying The Kalendar 1. NAY never talk 't is a whole Year Since