seldome without a Greeke Testament or Hebrew Bible which hee opens only in the Church and that when some stander by lookes ouer He has his sentences for Company some scatterings of Seneca and Tacitus which are good vpon all occasions If hee read any thing in the morning it comes vp all at dinner and as long as that lasts the discourse is his He is a great Plagiarie of Tauerne-wit and comes to Sermons onely that he may talke of Austin His Parcels are the meere scrapings frō Company yet he complains at parting what time he has lost He is wondrously capricious to seem a iudgement and listens with a soure attention to what he vnderstands not He talkes much of Scaliger and Causabone and the Iesuites and prefers some vnheard-of Dutch name before them all He has verses to bring in vpon these and these hints and it shall goe hard but he will wind in his opportunity He is criticall in a language hee cannot conster and speaks seldome vnder Arminius in Diuinity His businesse and retirement and caller away is his Study and he protests no delight to it comparable Hee is a great Nomen-clator of Authors which hee has read in generall in the Catalogue and in particular in the Title and goes seldome so farre as the Dedication Hee neuer talkes of any thing but learning and learnes all from talking Three incounters with the same men pumpe him and then hee onely puts in or grauely sayes no thing He has taken paines to be an Asse though not to be a Scholler and is at length discouered and laught at 34. A Shop-keeper HIs Shop is his wel stuft Booke and himselfe the Title-page of it or Index Hee vtters much to all men though he sels but to a few and intreates for his owne necessities by asking others what they lacke No man speakes more and no more for his words are like his Wares twentie of one sort and he goes ouer them alike to all commers He is an arrogant commender of his owne things for whatsoeuer hee shewes you is the best in the Towne though the worst in his Shop His Conscience was a thing that would haue layde vpon his hands and he was forc't to put it off and makes great vse of honestie to professe vpon Hee tels you lyes by rote and not minding as the Phrase to sell in and the Language hee spent most of his yeeres to learne He neuer speakes so truely as when hee sayes hee would vse you as his Brother for hee would abuse his Brother in his Shop thinkes it lawfull His Religion is much in the nature of his Customers and indeed the Pander to it and by a misinterpreted sense of Scripture makes a gaine of his Godlinesse Hee is your slaue while you pay him ready Money but if hee once be-friend you your Tyrant and you had better deserue his hate then his trust 35. A handsome Hostesse IS the fairer commendation of an Inne aboue the faire Signe or faire Lodgings She is the Loadstone that attracts men of Iron Gallants and Roarers where they cleaue sometimes long and are not easily got off Her Lips are your wel-come and your entertainement her companie which is put into the reckoning too and is the dearest parcell in it No Citizens wife is demurer then shee at the first greeting nor drawes in her mouth with a chaster simper but you may be more familiar without distaste and shee do's not startle at Baudrie She is the confusion of a Pottle of Sacke more then would haue beene spent els-where and her little Iugs are accepted to haue her Kisse excuse them Shee may be an honest woman but is not beleeu'd so in her Parish and no man is a greater In fidel in it then her Husband 36. A Blunt Man IS one whose wit is better pointed then his behauiour and that course and Impollisht not out of ignorance so much as humour He is a great enemy to the fine Gentleman and these things of Complement and hates ceremonie in conuersation as the Puritan in Religion Hee distinguishes not betwixt faire and double-dealing and suspects all smoothnesse for the dresse of knauerie Hee starts at the encounter of a Salutation as an assault and beseeches you in choller to forbeare your courtesie Hee loues not any thing in Discourse that comes before the purpose and is alwaies suspicious of a Preface Himselfe fals rudely still on his matter without any circumstance except hee vse an old Prouerbe for an Introduction He sweares olde out of date innocent othes as by the Masse by our Ladie and such like and though there bee Lords present hee cryes my Masters Hee is exceedingly in loue with his Humour which makes him alwayes professe and proclaime it and you must take what he sayes patiently because he is a plaine man His nature is his excuse still and other mens Tyrant for hee must speake his mind and that is his worst and craues your perdon most iniuriously for not Pardoning you His Iests best become him because they come from him rudely and vnaffected and hee has the lucke commonly to haue them famous Hee is one that will doe more then he will speake and yet speake more then hee will heare for though hee loue to touch others hee is teachy himselfe and seldome to his own abuses replyes but with his Fists Hee is as squeazie of his commendations as his courtesie and his good word is like an Elogie in a Satyre Hee is generally better fauour'd then hee fauours as being commonly well expounded in his bitternesse and no man speaks treason more securely Hee chides great men with most boldnesse and is counted for it an honest fellow Hee is grumbling much in the behalfe of the Common-wealth and is in Prison oft for it with credit Hee is generally honest but more generally thought so and his downe-rightnesse credits him as a man not wel bended and crookned to the times In conclusion hee is not easily bad in whom this qualitie is Nature but the counterfeit is most dangerous since he is disguis'd in a humour that professes not to disguise 37. A Criticke IS one that has speld ouer a great many of Bookes and his obseruation is the Orthographie Hee is the Surgeon of old Authors and heales the wounds of dust and ignorance He conuerses much in fragments and Desunt multa's and if he piece it vp with two Lines he is more proud of that Booke then the Authour Hee runnes ouer all Sciences to peruse their Syntaxis and thinkes all Learning compris'd in writing Latine Hee tastes Styles as some discreeter Palats doe Wine and tels you which is Genuine which Sophisticate and bastard His owne Phrase is a Miscellanie of old words deceas'd long before the Caesars and entoomb'd by Varro and the modern'st man hee followes is Plautus Hee writes Omneis at length and quidquid and his Gerund is most inconformable Hee is a trouble troublesome vexer of the dead which after so long sparing must rise
Micro-cosmographie OR A PEECE OF THE WORLD DISCOVERED IN ESSAYES AND CHARACTERS LONDON Printed by William Stansby for Edward Blount 1628. TO THE READER GENTILE OR GENTLE I Haue for once aduentur'd to playe the Mid-wifes part helping to bring forth these Infants into the World which the Father would haue smoothered who hauing left them lapt vp in loose Sheets as soon as his Fancy was deliuered of them written especially for his priuate Recreation to passe away the time in the Country and by the forcible request of Friends drawne from him Yet passing seuerally from hand to hand in written Copies grew at length to be a prety number in a little Volume and among so many sundry dispersed Transâ—cripts some very imperfect and surreptitious had like to haue past the Presse if the Author had not vsed speedy meanes of preuention When perceiuing the hazard hee ran to be wrong'd was vnwillingly willing to let them passe as now they appeare to the World If any faults haue escap'd the Presse as few Bookes can bee printed without impose them not on the Author I intreat Thee but rather impute them to mine and the Printers ouersight who seriously promise on the re-impression hereof by greater care and diligence for this our former default to make Thee ample satisfaction In the mean while I remaine Thine ED BLOVNT A TABLE OF CONTENTS A Childe 1. A young raw Preacher 2. A graue Diuine 3. A meere dull Physitian 4. An Alderman 5. A discontented Man 6. An Antiquary 7. A younger Brother 9. A formall Man 10. A Church-Papist 11 A selfe-conceied man 12 A Tauerne 13 A reseru'd Man 14 A Sharke 15 A Carier 16 An old Colledge Puâ—ler 17 An Vpstart Knight 18 An idle Gallant 19 A Constable 20 A downe-right Scholler 21 A Player 22 A Detractor 23 A young Gentleman oâ— the Vniuersity 24 A Pot-Poet 25. A Cooke 26. A forward Man 27. A Baker 28. A plaine Country Fellow 30. A Young-Man 31. The common Singing-Men 32. A Pretender to Learning 33. A Shop-keeper 34. A Handsome Hostesse 35. A Blunt Man 36. A Criticke 37. A Sergeant 38. A weake Man 39 A Tobacco seller 40 A plausible Man 41 The World 's wise Man 42 A Bowle-Alley 43 A Surgeon 44 A Shee-precise Hypocrite 45 A Contemplatiue Man 46 An Aturney 47 A Sceptick in religion 48 A Partiall man 49 A Trumpeter 50 A vulgar-spirited Man 51 A ploddding Student 52. Pauls Walke 53. An Vniuersity Dun. 54. A stayed Man 55. FINIS Micro-cosmographic OR A piece of the World Characteriz'd 1. A Childe IS a Man in a small Letter yet the best Copie of Adam before hee tasted of Eue or the Apple and hee is happy whose small practice in the World can only write this Character Hee is natureâ— fresh picture newly drawne in Oyle which time and much handling dimmes and defaces His Soule is yet a white paper vnscribled with obseruations of the world wherewith at length it becomes a blurr'd Note-booke He is purely happy because he knowes no euill nor hath made meanes by sinne to be acquainted with misery Hee arriues not at the mischiefe of being wise nor endures euils to come by fore seeing them He kisses and loues all and when the smart of the rod is past smiles on his beater Nature and his Parents alike dandle him â—nd tice him on with a bait of sugar to a draught of worme-wood Hee playes â—et like a young Prentice â—he first day and is not â—ome to his taske of melancholly His hardest labour is his tongue as if he were loath to vse so deceitfull an Organ and hee â—s best company with it when he can but prattle Wee laugh at his foolish â—ports but his game is our â—arnest and his drums â—attles and hobby-horses â—ut the Emblems mockâ—ng of mans businesse His â—ther hath writ him as his â—wne little story wherein hee reades those day eâ—â— his life that hee cannot â—â—â—member and sighes to 〈◊〉 what innocence he has 〈◊〉 liu'd The elder he groweâ— hee is a stayer lower froâ— God and like his first fâ—â—ther mnch worse in 〈◊〉 â—â—eeches He is the Chrâ—â—stians example and the oâ—â—mans relapse The oâ—â—â—mitates his purenesse anâ— the other fals into his siâ—â—plicitie Could he put 〈◊〉 his body with his littâ—â— Coate he had got eternitâ— without a burthen and 〈◊〉 chang'd but one Heaueâ— for another 2. A young rawe Preacher â—S a Bird not yet fledg'd 〈◊〉 that hath hopt out of his â—est to bee Chirping on a â—edge and will bee stragâ—ng abroad at what perill 〈◊〉 euer His backwardnesse 〈◊〉 the Vniuersitie hath set â—im thus forward for had â—e not truanted there hee â—ad not beene so hastie a â—iuine His small standing â—nd time hath made him a â—roficient onely in boldâ—esse out of which and his table-â—able-booke he is furnisht â—or a Preacher His Colâ—ections of Studie are the â—otes of Sermons which taken vp at S. Maries 〈◊〉 vtters in the Country A 〈◊〉 if he write Brachigraphy â— his stocke is so much thâ— better His writing is morâ— then his reading for heâ— reads onely what hee getâ— without booke Thus accomplisht he comes dowâ— to his friends and his firâ—â— salutation is grace peacâ— out of the Pulpit His prayer is conceited and no maâ— remembers his Colledgâ— more at large The pace oâ— his Sermon is a ful careerâ— and he runnes wildly 〈◊〉 hill and dale till the clockâ— stop him The labour of iâ— is chiefly in his lungs Anâ— the onely thing hee haâ—â— made of it himselfe is the faces He takes on against the Pope without mercy and ha's a iest still in lauender for Bellarmine His action is all passion and his speech interiections Hee ha's an excellent faculty in bemoaning the people and spits with a very good grace Hee will not draw â—his handkercher out of his place nor blow his nose without discretion His commendation is that hee neuer looks vpon booke and indeed he was neuer vs'd to it Hee preaches but once a yeare though twice on Sunday for the stuffe is still the same only dressing a little alter'd Hâ— has more trickes with anâ— Sermon then a Tailer with an old Cloake to turnâ— it and piece it and at lasâ— quite disguise it with a new Preface If he haue wadeâ— further in his profession and would shew Reading of his own his Authors aâ—â— Postils and his Schoole diuinitie a Caâ—echisme Hiâ— fashion and demure Haâ—bit gets him in with somâ— Town-precisian and makâ— him a Guest on Frydaâ— nights You shall know him by his narrow Velue cape and Serge facing anâ— his ruffe next his Haire thâ— shortest thing about hiâ— The coÌ„panion of his walke is some zealous tradesman whom he astonisheth with strange points which they both vnderstand alike His friends and much painefulnesse may preferre him to thirtie pounds a yeare and this means to a Chamber-maide with whom wee leaue him now in the bonds of Wedlocke Next Sunday you shal haue him againe 3. A
censures all Sermons but bad ones If her Husband be a Tradsman shee helpes him to Customers how soeuer to good cheere and they are a most faithfull couple at these meetings for they neuer faile Her Conscience is like others Lust neuer satisfied and you might better answere Scotus then her Scruples Shee is one that thinkes shee performes all her duty to God in hearing and shewes the fruits of it in talking Shee is more fiery against the May-pole then her Husband and thinkes he might doe a Phinehas his act to break the pate of the Fiddler She is an euerlasting Argument but I am weary of her 46. A Contemplatiue Man IS a Scholler in this great Vniuersity the World and the same his Booke and Study Hee cloysters not his Meditations in the narrow darknesse of a Roome but sends them abroad with his Eyes and his Braine trauels with his Feete He looks vpon Man from a high Tower and sees him trulyer at this distance in his Infirmities and poorenesse He scornes to mixe himselfe in mens actions as he would to act vpon a Stage but sits aloft on the Scaffold a censuring Spectator Nature admits him as a partaker of her Sports and asks his approbation as it were of her owne Workes and variety Hee comes not in Company because hee would not be solitary but findes Discourse enough with himselfe and his owne thoughts are his excellent play-fellowes He lookes not vpon a thing as a yawning Stranger at nouelties but his search is more mysterious and inward and hee spels Heauen out of earth He knits his obseruations together and makes a Ladder of them all to climbe to God He is free from vice because he has no occasion to imploy it and is aboue those ends that make men wicked He ha's learnt all can heere be taught him and comes now to Heauen to see more 47. An Aturney HIs Ancient beginning was a blue coat since a liuery and his hatching vnder a Lawer whence though but pen-feather'd hee hath now nested for himselfe and with his horded pence purchast an Office Two Deskes and a quire of Pader set him vp where he now sits in state for all commers We can-call him no great Anthor yet he writes very much and with the infamy of the Court is maintain'd in his libels Hee ha's some smatch of a Scholler and yet vses Latine very hardly and leâ—t it should accuse him cuts it off in the midst and will not let it speake out He is contrary to great men maintained by his followers that is his poore country Clients that worship him more then their Landlord and be there neuer such churles he lookes for their curtesie He first racks them soundly himselfe and then deliuers them to the Lawier for execution His looks are very solicitous importing much hast and dispatch he is neuer without his hanfull of businesse that is of paper His skin becomes at last as dry as his parchment and his face as intricate as the most winding cause He talkes Statutes as fiercely as if he had mooted seuen yeers in the Inns of Court when all his skill is stucke in his girdle or in his office window Strife and wrangling haue made him rich and he is thankfull to his benefactor and nourishes it If he liue in a Country village he makes all his neighbours good Subiects for there shall be nothing done but what there is law for His businesse giues him not leaue to thinke of his conscience and when the time or terme of his life is going out for Doomes-day he is secure for he hopes he has a tricke to reuerse iudgement 48. A Scepticke in Religion IS one that hangs in the ballance with all sorts of opinions whereof not one but stirres him and none swayes him A man guiltier of credulity then he is taken to bee for it is out of his beleefe of euery thing that hee fully beleeues nothing Each Religion scarres him from it's contrary none perswades him to it selfe Hee would be wholy a Christian but that he is something of an Atheist and wholy an Atheist but that hee is partly a Christian and a perfect Heretick but that there are so many to distract him He finds reason in all opinions truth in none indeed the least reason perplexes him and the best will not satisfie him He is at most a confus'd and wild Christian not specializ'd by any forme but capable of all He vses the Lands Religion because it is next him yet he sees not why hee may not take the other but he chuses â—his not as better but because there is not a pin to choose He finds doubts and sernples better then resolues them and is alwayes too hard for himselfe His Learning is too much for his brayne and his iudgment too little for his learning and his oueropinion of both spoyls all Pity it was his mischance of being a Scholler for it do's only distract and irregulate him the world by him He hammers much in generall vpon our opinions vncertainety and the possibility of erring makes him not venture on what is true He is troubled at this naturalnesse of Religion to Countries that Protestantisme should bee borne so in England and Popery abroad and that fortune and the Starres should so much share in it He likes not this connexion of the Common-weale and Diuinity and feares it may be an Arch-practice of State In our differences with Rome he is strangely vnfix't and a new man euery new day as his last discourse-books Meditations transport him Hee could like the gray haires of Poperie did not some dotages there stagger him hee would come to vs sooner but our new name affrights him He is taken with their Miracles but doubts an imposture hee conceiues of our Doctrine better but it seemes too empty and naked He cannot driue into his fancy the circumscription of Truth to our corner and is as hardly perswaded to thinke their old Legends true He approues wel of our Faith and more of their workes and is sometimes much affected at the zeale of Amsterdam His conscience interposes it selfe betwixt Duellers and whillst it would part both is by both wounded He will somtimes propend much to vs vpon the reading a good Writer and at Bellarmine recoyles as farre backe againe and the Fathers iustle him from one side to another Now Sosinaas and Vorstius afrâ—sh torture him and he agrees with none worse then himselfe He puts his foot into Heresies tenderly as a Cat in the water and pulls it out againe and still something vnanswer'd delayes him yet he beares away some parcell of each and you may sooner picke all Religions out of him then one He cannot thinke so many wise men should be in error nor so many honest men out of the way and his wounder is dubled when he sees these oppose one annother He hates authority as the Tyrant of reason and you cannot anger him worse then with a Fathers dixit and yet that many