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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A81192 The curry-comb turn'd to its right use; or, The powder-monkey to a Jamaica ship, dress'd with it By the author of the Trip to Holland. 1699 (1699) Wing C7684B; ESTC R225864 2,763 2

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The Curry-Comb turn'd to its RIGHT USE Or The Powder-Monkey to a Jamaica Ship Dress'd with it By the Author of the Trip to Holland THE fiery Plantation Author perhaps may be angry that I liken him to so little an Animal as a Monkey in the Title when in his Tower-hill Simile he assumes to himself the mighty Image of a true bred Mastiff tho' where his Breeding is I can't tell for I understand at the Derby Ale-house that his Friends never bred him a Scholar but where his want of it appears may be easily discernable even by our Author who has none The way to give him no further provocation is to Answer him in Latin and then your sure not to be understood unless he happily lights on Tom. Brown to expound it to him and the way to provoke him is much more difficult to be found if our Champion pleases to remember who 't was challeng'd him before his Printer and could get nothing more from him then that he liv'd at Islington And this is an instance of his Courage Contempt and holding up his Leg and scornfully pissing upon his trembling Assailant so it is an Evident Sign our Dealer in Similitudes after he was not suffer'd to be one in Sugar is as far from having any just claim to the use of a Cudgel for his Talent as he has to the use of a Pen. But our Author is eager for doing the World Justice and the Unmannerly sauce-box must be discover'd who dar'd yelp at the Heels of this Disdainful Bull-dog I warrant you he thinks he deserves as much at least as Dr. Oates for the Discovery of his Horrid Plot against the Purses of his Majesty's Subjects A Bookseller in Fleetstreet shew'd him Feltham's Resolves pointed out the place to him and with much ado he Read it O Monstrum Horrendum Here is a Plagiarism in Perfection a whole Sheet and an half stolen and not fall under the Censure of some Magistrate for it But these two Words of Latin has sent him in the search of some Interpreter to give him the English of them And now in his absence I must do my self and the Bookseller the same Justice he pretends to do to the World A Gentleman brought a small Pamphlet in 12's to my Bookseller Entitul'd Batavia or the Hollanders display'd but no Author or Bookseller's Name to it but only Printed in the Year 1697. This he told him he brought from Holland and advis'd him to Print it as being full of pretty delightful Remarks Accordingly it was brought me and after adding two Sheets and an half to it we agreed to call it a Trip to Holland because a certain scurrilous nonsensical Pamphlet had sold well under the Name of a Trip. This upon the Word of a Gentleman a Title to which our Curry-Comber has no Plea is the real Truth and we were led on in this ignorance till the Day or two before it was published when it was too late to recall a Design the Bookseller had been at too great a charge and trouble in carrying on to lose the Publication of He is sorry for the Man who deals in Books and I am sorry for him who pretends to write them but I am sure the last does not deserve the Pity which the first is above Wit and Necessity should be the Ingredients of a good Poet but how he comes to make this applicable to a Man who improves in his Trade is Reputable amongst his Neighbours and is esteem'd as a Companion for better Gentlemen than the Jamaica-Author or his ignorant Printer 〈◊〉 I cannot tell unless the busie Fleet-street Book-seller told him As he has describ'd me to be a Little Shallow-brain'd Fellow so it will not be out of the way to give a Description of him To begin therefore with his Face It is Russet-colour'd with Pock-holes in it and as that is somewhat broader than ordinary so his Skull whose Emptiness is the only Argument of a Vacuum in Nature is proportionable His Body is a long Ox's Bladder blown up with the Wind of Derby-Ale His Legs too have partaken of the same Flatus and he looks like a Man who Cudgels People as much as he talks of it For his Apparel it all came out of one Shop No one has the Impudence to call his Wigg a Second-handed one for it was the Cast-off of some Valet de Chambre and he had it from his Master the Broker from him and he from the Broker The Sword was some disbanded Trooper's a swinging one which was pawn'd for a Shilling and so our Author had a Bargain in it in buying it for Two His Cravat and Ruffles for I must tell you when he came to Bully me he had Hand-Cuffs look'd as if they had the Yellow-Jaundice and yawn'd at as many Holes as his own Jamaica did when it had an Earth-quake which he calls the Dry Belly-Ach His Fancy is not Mushroon as he calls mine which grows up to Perfection in one Night but he must have two Days and a Night to spoil what another would have perfected in half an Hour else he would never have spent Saturday Sunday and the Night following on so trifling an Half-sheet as his Trip to Holland Detected As for his being a Transported Felon I shall not concern my self who incerted it tho' he is so positive in his Man Ev'n let it be as he thinks for I should lose more than his Satisfaction would make me Amends for should I take the pains to inform him And for his pretending to insinuate to the World that I call'd my Bookseller the Ignorant PUPPY my Chap I should do well to lay the Ignorance at his own Door whose Brain is so shallow as not to fathom the Meaning of it For once therefore to hold a Light to his Understanding which is hid under the Bushel his Skull for I told you before the Dimensions of it I declare I have more Respect for my Book-seller than to load him with any such Character and I desire him who was one of the Readers to take it to himself His last Paragraph but one has Occasion for a more serious Answer Here he would fasten a Crime upon me which I declare in the Presence of God I know nothing of directly or indirectly and know no more of what he means by his ambiguous speaking of a Silver Tankard than he did my Sense when I said the Puppy my Chap. Indeed I have sold many Books and cannot but think he had done me more Justice had he said my Family which he owns to be that of a Gentleman had been disgrac'd by their with-holding Money from me not by my selling of Books And for writing Obscene Ballads Bloody Murthers and Last Dying Speeches he cannot but remember where the Reflection lies since he was W the Printer's Journey-man for a considerable time The last Paragraph gives you the Declaration of our Exasperated Bull-Dog He tells the World as if he were at his last Confession he never wrote the Answer to the Trip to Holland And what of all this He has Curry'd himself out of the World's Favaur without it by his Present of the Curry-Comb To conclude for the Paper will hold no more neither the Author or the Book-seller value the Threatnings of his Cane or his London-Spy but both are of the same Opinion with a great Writer at Will 's Coffee-house That now the Fool has written himself into some Reputation amongst the Mob he is writing Post to get out of it again ☞ This Day is Re-printed The Trip to Holland and may be had at most Booksellers ☞ On Thursday seven-night will be Publish'd The London Spy taken and Executed with his last dying Speech LONDON Printed in the Year 1698.