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A57009 The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others. Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660. 1694 (1694) Wing R104; ESTC R29255 455,145 1,095

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of the softness of the said Doun and of the temperate heat of the Goose which is easily communicated to the Bumgut and the rest of the Intestines insofar as to come even to the Regions of the Heart and Brains And think not that the Felicity of the Heroes and Demigods in the Elysian Fields consisteth either in their Asphodele Ambrosia or Nectar as our old Women here use to say but in this according to my judgment that they wipe their Tails with the Neck of a Goose holding her Head betwixt their Legs and such is the Opinion of Master Iohn of Scotland CHAP. XIV How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister THE good Man Grangousier having heard this discourse was ravish'd with Admiration considering the high reach and marvellous understanding of his Son Gargantua and said to his Governesses Philip King of Macedon knew the great Wit of his Son Alexander by his skilful managing of a Horse for his Horse Bucephalus was so fierce and unruly that none durst adventure to ride him after that he had given to his Riders such devillish falls breaking the Neck of this Man the other Man's Leg braining one and cracking another's Jaw-bone This by Alexander being considered one day in the Hippodrome which was a place appointed for the breaking and managing of great Horses he perceived that the fury of the Horse proceeded meerly from the fear he had of his own shadow whereupon getting on his back he run him against the Sun so that the shadow fell behind and by that means tamed the Horse and brought him to his hand Whereby his Father perceiving his marvellous Capacity and divine Insight caused him most carefully to be instructed by Aristotle who at that time was highly renowned above all the Philosophers of Greece After the same manner I tell you that by this only discourse which now I have here had before you with my Son Gargantua I know that his Understanding doth participate of some Divinity and that if he be well taught and have that Education which is fitting he will attain to a supream degree of Wisdom Therefore will I commit him to some learned Man to have him indoctrinated according to his Capacity and will spare no cost Presently they appointed him a great Sophister-Doctor called Master Tubal Holophernes who taught him his ABC so well that he could say it by heart backwards and about this he was Five Years and three Months Then read he to him Donat facet theodolet and Alanus in parabolis About this he was Thirteen Years six Months and two Weeks But you must remark that in the mean time he did learn to write in Gottish Characters and that he wrote all his Books for the Art of Printing was not then in use And did ordinarily carry a great Pen and Inkhorn weighing above Seven thousand Quintals the Pen-case vvhereof vvas as big and as long as the great Pillar of Enay and the Horn vvas hanged to it in great Iron Chains it being of the vvideness to hold a Tun of Merchand Ware After that vvas read unto him the Book de modis significandi with the Commentaries of Hurtbise of Fasquin of Tropifeu of Gaulhaut of Iohn Calf of Billonio of Berlinguandus and a rabble of others and herein he spent more then Eighteen Years and eleven Months and was so well versed therein that to try Masteries in School-disputes with his Condisciples he would recite it by heart backwards And did sometimes prove on his Fingers ends to his Mother Quod de modis significandi non erat scientia Then was read to him the Compost on which he spent Sixteen Years and two Months And at that very time which was in the Year 1420 his said Praeceptor died of the Pox. Afterwards he got an old coughing Fellow to teach him named Master Iobelin Bridé vvho read unto him Hugotio Flebard Grecism the Doctrinal the Pars the Quid est the Supplementum Marmoretus de moribus in mensa servandis Seneca de quatuor virtutibus cardinalibus Passaventus cum commento and Dormi securè for the Holy-days and other such llke stuff by reading vvhereof he became as vvise as any vve ever since baked in an Oven CHAP. XV. How Gargantua was put under other School-masters AT the last his Father perceived that indeed he studied hard and that although he spent all his time therein yet for all that did he profit nothing but vvhich is worse grew thereby a Fool a Sot a Doult and Block-head whereof making a heavy complaint to Don Philip of Marays Viceroy of Papeligosse he found that it were better for his Son to learn nothing at all then to be taught such like Books under such School-masters because their Knowledge was nothing but all Trifle and their Wisdom Foppery serving only to basterdize good and noble Spirits and to corrupt the Flower of Youth That it is so take said he any Young Boy of this time who hath only studied two Years if he have not a better Judgment a better Discourse and that expressed in better Terms then your Son with a compleater Carriage and Civility to all manner of persons account me for ever hereafter a very clounch and baconslicer of Brene This pleased Grangousier very well and he commanded that it should be done At night at supper the said Don Philip brought in a young Page of his of Ville-gouges called Eudemon so neat so trim so handsom in his Apparel so spruce with his Hair in so good Order and so sweet and comely in his behaviour that he had the resemblance of a little Angel more than of a human Creature Then he said to Grangousier Do you see this young Boy He is not as yet full twelve years old let us try if it like you what difference there is betwixt the knowledge of the Dunces Mateologian of old time and the young Lads that are now The Tryal pleased Grangousier and he commanded the Page to begin Then Eudemon asking leave of the Vice-Roy his Master so to do vvith his Cap in his hand a clear and open countenance beautiful and ruddy Lips his Eyes steady and his Looks fixed upon Gargantua with a youthful modesty standing up strait on his feet began to commend him first for his Vertue and good Manners secondly for his knowledg thirdly for his Nobility fourthly for his bodily accomplishments and in the fifth place most sweetly exhorted him to reverence his Father with all due observancy vvho was so careful to have him well brought up in the end he prayed him that he vvould vouchsafe to admit of him amongst the least of his Servants for other Favour at that time desired he none of Heaven but that he might do him some grateful and acceptable Service all this was by him delivered vvith such proper gestures such distinct Pronunciation so pleasant a Delivery in such exquisite fine Terms and so good Latin that he seemed rather a Gracchus a Cicero an Aemilius of the time past then a
was eating and drinking And indeed that is the fit●est and most proper hour wherein to write these high Matters and deep Sciences as Homer knew very well the Paragon of all Philologues and Ennius the Father of the Latin Poets as Horace calls him although a certain sneaking Iobernol objected that his Verses savour'd more of the Wine than of the Oil. A certain Addle-headed Cocks-comb saith the same of my Books but a turd for him The fragrant Odour of the Wine Oh how much more sparkling warming charming celestial and delicious it is than of Oil And I will glory as much when it is said of me that I have spent more on Wine than Oil as did Demosthenes when it was told him That his Expence on Oil was greater than on Wine I truly held it for an honour to be called and reputed a good Fellow a pleasant Companion or Merry Andrew for under this name am I welcom in all choice Companies of Pantagruelists It was upbraided to Demosthenes by an envious surly Knave that his Orations did smell like the Sarpler or Clout that had stopped a musty Oil Vessel Therefore I pray interpret you all my Deeds and Sayings in the perfectest Sense reverence the Cheese-like brain that feeds you with all these jolly Maggots and do what lies in you to keep me alwaies merry Be frolic now my Lads chear up your Hearts and joyfully read the rest with all the Ease of your Body and Comfort to your Reins But hearken Ioltheads O dickens take ye off with your Bumper I will do you Reason pull away Supernaculum TO THE READER RAbelais had studied much and look'd about And found the World not worth one serious Thought So Reader howsoever pert thou art Take this along he lays it not to heart Before-hand with you here he reads your doom And damns Mankind past present and to come Be Knaves or Fools that either squint or drivel Blindfold he throws and gives you to the Devil He saw what beastly farce this World was grown That Sence and all Humanity were gone Reason from thee that never was his care He wou'd as soon chop Logic with a Bear But for the Laughing part he bids thee strain Laugh only so to shew thy self a Man CHAP. I. Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of GARGANTUA I Must refer you to the great Chronicle of Pantagruel for the knowledge of that Genealogy and Antiquity of Race by which Gargantua is descended unto us In it you may understand more at large how the Giants were born in this World and how from them by a direct Line issued Gargantua the Father of Pantagruel And do not take it ill if for this time I pass by it although the Subject be such that the oftner it were rememb'red the more it would please your Worships According to the Authority of Plato in Philebo and Gorgias and of Flaccus who says That there is some kind of Matters such as these are without doubt which the frequentlier they be repeated still prove the more delectable Would to God every one had as certain knowledge of his Genealogy si●ce the time of the Ark of Noah until this Age. I think many are at this Day Emperors Kings Dukes Princes and Popes on the Earth whose Extraction is from some Porters and Pardon-pedlars as on the contrary many are now poor wandring Beggars wretched and miserable who are descended of the Blood and Lineage of great Kings and Emperors occasioned as I conceive it by the Revolution of Kingdoms and Empires From the Assyrians to the Medes From the Medes to the Persians From the Persians to the Macedonians From the Macedonians to the Romans From the Romans to the Greeks From the Greeks to the Franks And to give you some hints concerning my self who speak unto you I cannot think but I am come of the Race of some rich King or Prince in former Times for never yet saw you any Man that had a greater desire to be a King and to be rich than I have and to the end only that I may make good Chear do nothing nor care for any thing and plentifully enrich my Friends and all honest and learned Men But herein do I comfort my self that in the other World I shall be all this yea and greater too than at this present I dare wish As for you with the same or a better conceit enjoy your selves in your distresses and drink fresh if you can come by it But returning to our Subject I say that by the especial care of Heaven the Antiquity and Genealogy of a Gargantua hath been reserved for our use more full and perfect than any other except that of the Messias whereof I mean not to speak for it belongs not unto my Province and the Devils that is to say the false Accusers and Church-vermin will be upon my Jacket This Genealogy was found by Iohn Andrew in a Meadow which he had near the Pole-arch under the Olive-tree as you go to Marsay Where as they were casting up some Ditches the diggers with their Mattocks struck against a great brazen Tomb unmeasurably along for they could never find the end thereof by reason that it entred too far within the Sluces of Vienne Opening this Tomb in a certain place thereof sealed on the top with the mark of a Goblet about which was written in Hetrurian Letters HIC BIBITVR they found nine Flaggons set in such order as they use to rank their Kyles in Gascony of which that which was placed in the middle had under it a big greasie great grey jolly small moudy little Pamphlet smelling stronger but no better then Roses In that Book the said Genealogy was found written all at length in a Chancery hand not in Paper not in Parchment nor in wax but in the Bark of an Elm-tree yet so worn with the long tract of time that hardly could three Letters together be there perfectly discerned I though unworthy was sent for thither and with much help of those Spectacles whereby the art of reading dim Writings and Letters that do not clearly appear to the sight is practised as Aristotle teacheth it did translate the Book as you may see in your Pantagruelising that is to say in drinking stifly to your own hearts desire and reading the dreadful and horrific Acts of Pantagruel At the end of the Book there was a little Treatise entituled the Antidoted Conundrums The Rats and Moths or that I may not lye other wicked Vermin had nimbed off the beginning the rest I have hereto subjoyned for the Reverence I bear to Antiquity CHAP. II. THE Antidoted Conundrums Found in an ancient Monument ....... The Cymbrians overcomer Pass thr ... the Air to shun the dew of Summer ... At his coming ... great Tubs were fill'd .... Fresh Butter down in showers distill'd ..... His Grandam overwhelm'd so hey Aloud he cry'd ............ His Whiskers all beray'd to make him madder So bang'd the Pitcher till they rear'd the Ladder To lick