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B04342 News from Parnassus, in the abstracts and contents of three crown'd chronicles, relating to the three kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland. In a poem, divided into two parts : first, to the king, secondly, to the subjects of the said three kingdoms. Dedicated to His Majesty. / By a servant to Mars, and a lover of the muses, William Mercer. Mercer, William, 1605?-1675? 1682 (1682) Wing M1740; ESTC R180533 40,838 104

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my talking this The Danish Dames no man dare kiss In Complement before another Ladies only embrace their Brother But that being past should I been drown'd I swam in Shallops on the Sound Till I arriv'd at Copenhagen Where I did venture in a Waggon Though soon began to go afoot For want of one thing made me do 't I travell'd still from Town to Town Two days together ne'r sat down Where Pompey past in pomp and pride I ran could have no Horse to ride Armenia Media and Cilicia Came capering to Cappadocia A hundred houses I would wonder So poor I could pick up no plunder I wander'd where I knew not how But where I saw much more than you And through all Germany did justle Sometimes so wanton I would whistle Then I resolv'd I would go over If I should swim and drink in Dover So I came capering to Kent Next day lo I to London went Where I had much Command being horst A Captain first * 1642. that was the worst Then how I prosper'd if you please To prove I past through all degrees In Ireland now I 'll write one wonder How I have past the Pikes by plunder Bore never Arms there nevertheless Yet you shall see how Devils me dress Though I in Ireland never won ought Four hundred Knaves came out of Connaught And in my absence in an hour Stript Wife and Children did devour All things I had without within Left nothing but the naked skin My Trunks and all therein extorted And in an instant all transported A punishment perpetual Came home unto a hungry Hall My Wife and Children all did dye And left me in extremity Nor was it in a time of War But quietness as now we are Think you then since I was destroy'd So here I should be here imploy'd But being not lo I perceived How wickedly the World was waved And for the King compos'd a Book Wherein his Majesty may look And see things never seen before I hope I need not name them more But all such sorrows suffer'd I Then turn'd my Pen to Poetry Till I could tell you this and that In words that you would wonder at But if you please I shall suspend My pratling now and make an end For Rhiming proves not worth a Rush But Wind that 's blowing in a Bush Though as they say if things so fall Some blows may blow us over the Wall By such Oppressions I may speed So said the Prodigal indeed Periissem nisi periissem now No doubt he knew then what to do He also said as I collect 'um Vexatio dat Intellectum And I may speed as some suspect For this same Distich 't is so direct Remembring Ovid's well-read Rhime Principiis obsta now is the time But I speak humbly to my Prince For words few others will convince Envy with Ease Pride Power and Pelf Make men take most upon themself But all that 's here is but by wording My big Book brings a better burden There what I wrote I vow'd to do In promise and performance too But what remains must rest upon A mental Reservation But I again am gone amiss So prays you in Parenthesis To pardon me till I have wrote Some Towns by chance I have forgot From Amsterdam to Rotterdam I cannot tell well whence I came But two Towns more I 'll tell to you And then I have not much to do Hamburg is one Antwerp another Then I came home to meet my Mother The Second Part. Now if some things are here misplac't Receive two reasons Sick and Haste Though not so sick nor hasty neither To spoil my Foe nor spare my Father Be how it will please you to read I 'll give you all these when I 'm dead For you deserve no less at least Than feed a while upon my Feast Proceed then and consider why I leave you such a Legacy Delivering likewise no stoln story But very real Inventory Of all my Goods and Chattels too And every thing I thought to do Where I have been what I have seen And what fell often out between I tell my Crosses and my Losses My to 's and fro's and twenty tosses At every bait I bite a bit But all the holes I cannot hit Some points I press as Prophecy Which men may feel before they dye How these that boast now of their bravery Shall suffer and be seen in slavery For though what herein I have hinted Appear as Dreams till they be Printed But wise mens Wills are prov'd by Proby If my necessity should so be Be how it will take notice now By Pen or Print I 'll punish you Your self shall judge in Justice I Do deal with Knaves accordingly All that I say and do indeed May come to pass I pray take heed May prove a day of Doom to many And to your self assoon as any I say your self whoe're you be But means of more than two or three And so my Soul I give to God I know my Carcass but a clod Being sure my Dictates if I dye Deserve thanks of his Majesty For notwithstanding Testament Words wishes and a long complaint That attribute that doth belong To God I 'll imitate if not wrong By it being bound to wait on God Who 's long before he brings the Rod As by these following words I vow Which may fall heavy upon you Ad poenam tardus Deus est praemia velox Sed pensare solet vi graviore Moram I 'm so manured so plow'd and puzzl'd Much worse than any one that 's muzzl'd My Crosses and my Melancholy Make me write Rhimes religiously As doth appear by these you read Albe't they are not mine indeed Perpetua impietas nec mensae tempore cessat Exagitat vesana quies somnique furentes Neither at Bed nor yet at Board Will great despair small rest afford Now those these touch not to the quick With me will not a quarrel pick. Or if they do I dare defend And doubts not some may condescend But lest you say I run in rage I 'll end this purpose on this page And so shall put no more upon it But end my sorrow with a Sonnet A Sonnet My Testament consists of two Parts my false Friends I 'll tell you how First day I fell fast in a Feaver Sweating as swimming in a River Where all things not in order are Though not from purpose very far But then the next day you may find I had a well composed mind My Tongue could tattle tales in Latin As Priests can mumble mornings Mattin For whatsoever's in the end Both Rhime and Reason I 'll defend Say what you will or no or I If you refuse truth Friend you lye Howe're I 'll add no more now on it But give you time to sing this Sonnet I 'm sure now had you suffer'd such as I And by bad carriage been constrain'd to cry You would not stay to make the matter Metre Though mine be bad yours might be scarce compleat●●
I go on as all are ranked there For lo that piece I to the Ark compare Which Noah built wherein I think to save Such Righteous persons as I shall receive Upon Repentance finding of them free And them admit within the Ark with me But Noah had command to make the Ark Three hundred cubits long albe't that Bark Must bear a burden only but of eight And all not faithful neither such a fraight Might so be sav'd and here it is even so Just and unjust all generally do go Within my Ark which being open'd once And all call'd out 't will be but as a Sconce Compos'd of Paper not of Planks and power So slight a Ship might sink in such a shower In cruel cases men may make conform Both Bark and Fly-boat to withstand the storm So as my Ark at Anchor doth prove nice My Fly-boat puts Fools in a Paradise For if some few when they are call'd can stand By Faith as firm as they were on the Land So that the Waters were not their reward Yet when at Court they come to play their Card They may mistake I do not say they shall Though some's in danger for to fetch a fall For when so many did my Bark abuse I fram'd this Fly-Boat and shall not refuse To save some in 't as I in duty stand Though not presuming I can purge the Land As did St Patrick who though purging Vermine To put the spawn in people did not determine Or not that all are ill though many may For in the general I have such to say That as the Angels were created good And so might in that Heavenly station stood Yet fell and for no other reason neither But that they fell as they affected rather Even so shall many in their place appear Fallen from their first love too too many here Cathedral Saints I do not now single any Chur●● men But rich and poor all men must answer when I Call by their Names the Prophet and the Priest Both are in danger of one days arrest Unless the people plainly make appear That they read prayers precisely once a year The big Book duly doth demonstrate all The famous Fathers Apostolical Whence one of twelve was once found false before But out of twelve I now name half a score Then for our Judges I go evenly on Judg● Comparing some to Homer's Sarpedon And in the big Book I do clear the case Compares with Pompey and Aristides Some Judges Justness here I tell you that Moses and Joshua's Justice imitate Though they are dead their deeds live nevertheless Good mens perfections death doth not suppress And in my Book albe't he be removed I point at one so for his Law beloved Not only Law but to disparage none Equal in all things unto Sarpedon ●ustice in Judges ought as they survive Each one th' other t' appear superlative Pindarus Plato Cicero did say Of Justice as good Judges do to day And as Theog●nes gives it us in Greek Take it in Latin lest the thing you seek ●ustitia in sese virtutes continet omnes Even so as knowledge is on me conferr'd To tell the Truth my Tongue being not deterr'd 〈◊〉 do repeat the prudence then of those Examining when parties do oppose Each one the other and that make report Doctors Impartially in presence of the Court And all surrounding every Bench a bit I lay before them for to bite on it Physicians that put poison in the Pill Physicians and such as profess I pay them Fees according to their Skill And those that have both skill and kindness too As they deserve accordingly I do Hippocrates I challenge not for cheats He fills the Files with well advis'd Receipts Galen hath Gard'ners gathering Herbs I grant Apothecaries Pliny's supplying every place with Plants Now those that plead and such as play the Knave If they themselves by Sophistry can save Then be it so much is made out by Art Howe're it is my Pen must play its part Some Clerks and some the Terms tongue-turn'd Attorneys Talking to them makes merry on my Journeys There is one well-cover'd with a Gown ingrain'd Of base black dye with stinking Coffee stain'd Anagram O Base Cret'r ' I. In these few words his Name 's anatomiz'd And Answers to it since he was Baptiz'd All in which big Book brightly will appear In small Eclipses things are not seen clear I try all Trades though some past Prenticeship Playing the Knave such I severely whip Some take up Trades and some untaught Attorney Turns Lawyer but by taking of a Journey To Lon●●● I strive to take such untrain'd Trades-mens Tools Send such Mock-Lawyers back again to Schools Not cherishing of Cheaters but at large My Chronicle casheers them from their charge But O alas one thing 's like to be lost His Majesties Omissioners almost And yet I do not draw so deep a Debter My big Book bears them in a larger Letter Though herein happens one mistake in me I do neglect that great Character C I should say Co when O came in the way But now I think them both are best to say Saint Paul you know he saith and sealeth it The good he would the ill he will commit But they I see in both are Righteous rather Omit and Commit fully for their Father Do as the Scots said rightly understood The Souldiers swore they came for all their good But here is no such daubing now adays Whate're is call'd for ev'ry one obeys No man gets wrong but of the toys they bring Take some themselves the rest goes to the King God's good unto them therefore every hour Floods on the Farmers favours freely pour Many poor Merchants travel every Tyde And give what they can rap and run beside They 'r good to all fetch when you can tell what Be what it will they 'll take it what fault 's that They cannot all fair Promises perform For fear their Fortunes fail them in a storm 〈◊〉 would not wrong the Kings Omissioners More than the Priests wrong poor Parishoners Albe't I wrong them in one Letter lo 〈◊〉 would not wrong them too much no no no 〈◊〉 favour Farmers they shall find so when They come my Three-crown'd Chronicle to scan This thing 's so secret few know what I do The t' other tells both Name and Title too Nor do I only those in Commission scan Now there but every individual man Since first in fashion the King confirm'd a Farm To praise one not another may do harm Wherefore at best I 'll throw this Bauble by Because the big Book brings Authority And press no more great Sir but let you see So many Authors are assisting me To make things out both Heathenish and Heav'nly All their inventions ev'ry one as ev'nly As all the Arts and Sciences I think Could write were all the Purple Ocean Ink Here are their Names no man knows more than I And I 'll repeat them to your
Majesty Divine and Moral some that knew not God But gave good Counsel was not that then odd Aristotle and Plato I have Cato too Socrates and all Diogenes could do Themistocles and Solon I have ev'n so The Romans General Generous Scipio Demosthenes his Answer to Epimites I spoke with Plutarch and Aristides I tell you also of Emelius Apelles Painting what will that avail us And I have catched Counsel too of Titus I also saw Egesilaus meet us Anaxagoras Periander I saw Zeno Pythagoras opinion spake with pain O Menander and Caligula and lo Domitian and Hippocrates also Lycurgus and Xenocrates and such And talked to Epictetus as much Xenophanes call'd Coward scarcely knockt Perseue lending his Money he was mockt Hesiodus his Precepts understood Agathocles a Potters Son not proud A King Darius and Artaxerxes with one score I yet could count but I will name no more But only three who I report for Pride Though here are thousands such as they beside Dioclesian the Emperour he was one Herod Agrippa another now I 'm gone But Titus Flaminius takes it as a wonder That I omit him therefore comes he under All these are Authors in my Chronicle Comparing men unto them good or ill I stay not now their Vertues to rehearse Nor will I put their praises here in Verse But every Subject let them fawn or frown As they deserve lo I have set them down By wise advice and by whose cunning skill Your Majesty may know my Chronicle Is compos'd now on another task I intrude Comparing some to Tutors too as rude Twelve famous Fathers Soveraign Sir consider What pains I past comparing them together Who to themselves can best the attribute Apply as to their knowledge they them suit But I alledge when in the Scales they come They will down-weigh I well may wager some Because they do their base debauch'dness bear Almost as much as any named now here Who though they be here only but eleven I do not doubt to draw the dozen even So I begin and in their greatness greet 'um But in the big Book like a man I meet ' um 1. Caligula is common in the case 2. Tiberius comes in with a flaming face 3. Nero is never very far to find 4. Heliogabalus hath a vicious mind 5. As Alexander men are most malicious And I aver all men almost are vicious 6. Cyrus is sly at Court and catching still 7. Vlysses likewise with his Wit doth ill 8. Mydas is mighty covetous you know 9. Hannibal's a crafty Knave ev'n so 10. Zopyrus hath in base dissembling skill 11. And Aristippus will be flattering still Now doubtless I dare out the dozen do 12. For I am sure here is a Judas too But I forbear until my big Book come Where on the Margin I have marked some I help the Heraulds when I 'm brisk about 'um Blazing their Arms but better be without 'um Yet it were ill all were alike for lo Parcite paucorum Diffundere crimen you know But since I in my Arithmetick move My Pen must more upon the point improve I search in Secrets which unlookt on lye Impeaching persons that aspire too high I speak of Pride the only evil even Why Angels were so hurl'd out of Heaven Envy I own the justest ill of all It kills it self to cause its father fall Of Straits and Trenches whom some call contriver The Chronicle that Doctrine doth deliver I talk of Traytors and I touch the Treason But Solomon for things assigns a season And I forbear allowing you to look Where you shall see abundance in the Book Only I bring albeit I be forbid The thing in sight the Lacedaemons did But I 'm afraid my Muse may be abhorr'd Or call'd a Fool for what she doth afford Affecting to be found a Fool in Verse Rather than call me Knave upon my Hearse Of Government I grant I give a touch But meddle not with Governours too much Because St. Paul bids us that block forbear And I must also seem so godly here Lift Hands and Eyes and bid the poor go pray But of such things see what St. James doth say And I do tell some tokens time and place How that the Romans rul'd in such a Case And they did rule and over-rule indeed In all Dominions through the World we read I scan the cause Great Britain bore abuse How Ireland felt the effect who will refuse I point at persons whom I fear foment Make Memorandums how we may prevent I could speak plain but should I so appear Though now I 'm safe it puts me in a fear Whenever my big Book shall be seen abroad I find such Friends as good Sir Edmund God But of the Romans what I said before Is true and I can add too on the score When Government to any one was given All old adherents that same day were driven Hence at great distance as was done of late At our Vice-gerents general debate Which of the two would touch us to the quick The Covenanter or Roman Catholick What was concluded must not with my will Come here but hazards in my Chronicle But Royal Sir by what is here I hope Your Majesty may soon conceive the scope 〈◊〉 this Complaint and that it clearly comes 〈◊〉 those before the Battel beating Drums 〈◊〉 bid alarms albe't I be the man ●hat fetches fewel and the fire do fan 〈◊〉 warm my self Sir yet a King doth know When Coals are cover'd one blast of Wind may blow ●eing as 't were the Watch-word to awaken ●ecure men sleeping thousands nigh forsaken ●orgive me then most Sacred Sir to show Without offence things that I cannot know ●learly concluded because I 'm none of them ●●ployed in private for to play the game 〈◊〉 lookers on though seeming in a Trance 〈◊〉 see as much as those that play perchance ●specially a person not imploy'd When Tempests threaten lest he be destroy'd ●ooks to himself and sees whereat they aim ●nd then in Conscience must the Cause proclaim 〈◊〉 Sentinel Perdu to defend the shot 〈◊〉 such as sleep but never get one Groat ●he Chronicle of all these Plots complain 〈◊〉 Prose and Verse But and every word in vain 〈◊〉 have not had no not in thirty years ●ore than Good morrow as it plain appears 〈◊〉 all that 's said serv'd suffer'd sure I think 〈◊〉 I lay sick they 'd give me Gall to drink ●ut though such things to our Creator cry ●he present issue 's in your Majesty 〈◊〉 pain to ponder and comparing it ●ive what my Soveraign finds for present fit ●nd for the future from such Sacred Throne 〈◊〉 end the Ark appoint a Pension ●hould it be small nine hundred sheets now nigh 〈◊〉 put to press whenever th' Author dye 〈◊〉 I am pleas'd this instant hour to Print ●he Piece wherein though here I only hint I publish all I cannot Cheaters cherish Fight for it too and if I perish perish The Chronicle consisting as I say Of bulk so