whereof ye are now Ashamed And in vain may we expect common Civility from those that are not afraid or ashamed at these dayes irreverently to scoff at and impiously to detract those most Princely Presidents of Piety in holy Writ David and Solomon The lewd and Venereous Person who makes his Body a Burnt-offering to his inflamed Lust seeks to acquit and justifie himself with this Plea and to seem wittily wicked asks you What did David ail when he complained of his Bones and his Sore ran down in the Night Give him grave and sober Advice or but go about to stop him in his Career of Folly and he presently pleads Solomon and will purchase convincement at no cheaper a rate than the dangerous high Price of Experience He builds Sconces and runs on Tavern-scores and then Pleades that Paul Pawn'd his Cloak c. At this prophane and paltry rate he seeks to purchase the repute of witty he out-Huffs Hell out-Hectors Beelzebub and can dispence with the Name of Atheist if he be not proud on 't and openly own and glory in it This is one that with little Fear and less Wit will still be at his Ludere cum Sacris that dare be impudent with Heaven and sawcy with its most awful Majesty to the Hearers astonishment and his own shameful confusion that like an over-daring Vaulter will forsooth be shewing tricks of Activity upon the very Brink and Precipice of Hell and play at Hide and Seek with the Devil himself till at last he catches him in his Clutches as the Cat does her wanton Prey and so spoiles his Sport on a suddain But let 's leave him to the Iustice of that Power his Folly thus inconsiderately provoked and Sir let me Advise you to shun the Society of such lest you share in their Punishment and as you would escape the infamous Censure you will thereby fall under alwayes taking it for sure That you shall go under the same Account and Character of the Company you consort with since the World hath ever look'd upon this Rule as infallible And now Sir passing this and to come nearer home to my purpose I shall briefly observe to you how profuse and heedless Men now a dayes are of their own and others Fame or Reputation too valuable to be thrown or made away in sport while they thus publickly traduce detract and asperse one another as they do both in word and writing which latter I shall chiefly take notice of and look upon as a Libel of the Devils Dictature such Writers being set on by pure Idleness the Primum mobile of all Mischief What is there in it else but a meer Itch of Spleen edg'd on by the hope of building up a new Credit upon another Mans Weakness A Leap-Frog Fancy of Writing Alternis Vicibus by fits and girds as the Humor hits or holds out to the hap-hazard of the adventurous Bookseller but the adornment of Posts and Pissing-places worthy of no further regard or notice then the Printed Bills for Prizes at the Bear-Garden being at best but a Trial of Skill another way where both sides beat up and flourish as Victors but set no sharper an edge either on their Wits or Weapons than what will well serve to cut your Purse-strings the whole aim of these cheating Challengers which if the overcurious Widgins of the World will not believe but will be still couzen'd thus with this Hocus Pocus Humor let them I say but my good Friend I hope you will take my word and be wiser Nor do I indeed much doubt or question your discretion I understand you and you your self better And the best on 't is such Books besides making the Authors ridiculous do seldom prejudice the Readers more than with loss of time nor so altogether for sure if he have any sense he shall grow wiser by the folly represented him as Drunkards sometimes loathe themselves by beholding it soberly in others Can we term it less than a shameless incivility in such as would go about to oblige the World whether it will or no to take notice of their Private Picques and Controversies which with a great deal of pudder they publickly expose to common Censure nor can it be thought less in those that are the busie Pryers into these publick Impertinencies the very Reading of which is a kind of unhappiness but a Revisal both Guilt and Approbation Certainly as long as this odd mood lasts of taking up one anothers Works in this Nature we must never look to see Ingenuity flourish for our growing Wits will be afraid to put forth while the early Blossomes of their best Endeavors are still in danger to be publickly blasted by the vituperous Breath of every malepert Momus who like the Basilisk strikes dead all he sees at first sight and whose whole stress of Wit strives only to stiflle others and such are well set forth by the Ingenious and therefore envy'd Pen of the sam'd Dryden in this single Couplet of his Those that Advantage of each slip do take Find but those Faults which they want Wit to make Away then with this ill-natur'd disingenious fault-finding Humor and be favorable to the failings of others as ever you expect Men may in kindness connive at your failings or imperfections when they happen Humanum est errare 't is liable to all in some things but especially to such as either write much or variously often and ought not with an over-rigid Censure to be too severely insisted on for this doth but breed vain jangling for as one ill word begets another so we see doth one abusive Book another till they even puzzle as well as weary the whole World with reading the bare Titles of them One Book beares the Bell away one while and then presently comes out Reflections Observations Answers Replications and Exceptions upon it till the Press is so bepestred with them that at last the Sheets grow more numerous than the long Books and Papers of a Chancery Cause which are as pertinent and worthy of publishment as the first for ought I know and in time may both serve to one and the same use after the World and the Court have dismiss'd the Controversie and Brangle in a Grocers or a Chandlers Shop If any such Book have intruded into your Study let them be turned out for Wranglers as unfit to keep Company with the quiet and civiler sort Or take my advice and change 'em away quickly while the humor holds up for others more pleasant and profitable though you lose well by 'em before the Gamesters have cross'd the Cudgels and the Ring-round world leaves minding them As some tough and sturdy Trojans after much belabouring one another have long since done Laus Deo Our Laureat himself cannot escape Calumny though I must confess he too much dar'd it that Reward of Wit Sacred to Poets he finds could not defend him from the blast of a Criticks Breath In spight of Apollo's self they will attaque
Raillerie a la Mode CONSIDER'D OR THE SUPERCILIOUS DETRACTOR A Joco-serious Discourse shewing the open Impertinence and Degenerosity of Publishing Private Pecques and Controversies to the World Occasionally Written To a Young Gentleman to shew the Odium of this Ingentile Humour and to direct him in the best choice of Men and Books Multi cum alijs maledicunt sibi ipsis convicium faciunt Seneca LONDON Printed by T. R. and N. T. for Henry Million at the Bible in Fleetstreet MDCIXXIII THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER Generous Reader FOR such I would have thee to be to Answer the true Design of these few Sheets First occasionally writ by way of Advice to a Young Gentleman abroad and I humbly conceive not unseasonable to any that make pretence to that Name or Quality It teaches true Curtisie Charity Civility and the Duty of Good Language which we owe unto all Men which are indeed the Supreme Points of Generosity Policy Christianity as well as of Moral Virtues among such as approve and practice them You have here the Character of a Detractor accurately drawn forth and Detected through all his Protean Shapes and Disguises with the true Imbelishments that should adorn a Bred and Worthy Man whereby your self are left to judge which of these are most amiable when you behold both their Pictures here set before you These Lines were purposely set to pull up this Croking Mandrake Detraction from amongst us and to root deed is this strictly so for it is no more than the Old mad Humor of the Cobler of Glocester new Vampt And lest you may not perhaps have seen enough by the Books themselves I have at your desire sent you I shall take a little pains to give you my Sense of the present sort of Writing to shew you as seasonable to your Young and Inconversant Years the Ridiculousness Incivility and Inhumanity of it in a few short and sober Reflexions on this Publick Piece of Folly which does but indeed render us the mere Ludibrium and May-game of Strangers it is a fashion so illy introduced among us It is a Vitious sort of Buffoonry that this mistaken Age is ready to cry up for a high acquir'd Ornament and Piece of Refin'd Education while a sober Judgment or modest Innocence is as much mistook and exploded for meer Dulness and Ignorance He that can abuse another handsomely is presently applauded for a shrewd Wit a notable Man which indeed imports no better than an abusive K as a good harmless honest Man is but the better word for a Fool. It is indeed Sir much my satisfaction that your Retir'd inclination hath so happily setled you for your seasoning time so commodiously remote from the Corrupt Converse of a great part of this Infectious Town And I assure you that I think it altogether my Duty to be as careful that no Contagious Subjects come intrudingly to your hands and would also advise you to be as cautious of receiving any as many were of London-Letters the last Great Pestilence here amongst us Pray take this Advice as from a Friend that most unfeignedly Loves and Tenders you and be sure ever to Choose your Bookes as you would your Acquaintance i. e. let them be few choise and reputable You cannot well complain you want good Company when you are not withont good Authors to converse with and that too at the best Advantage as I take it their Writings being for the most part much the best of them compar'd with their common converse and personal society When you are soberly contemplative your Companion is still at hand to entertain your Humor when your thoughts incline you another way then have you others to divert you and when you are weary of all at last you may take down Apollo's Lute and refresh your fancy with the most pleasing and not unprofitable strains of Poetry English or others But truly to Buy or Read these Cudgel-playing Books is but to make Billings-gate your Diversion or to know the best way how to give bad Language 't is no better than downright Railing Frenchisi'd into Raillerie a la mode Beside the smart Itch of Writing and Replying in this New Canting Drolling Way made up of a few fugitive Expressions I am sure he that gives himself up to this must at once licentiously let go the Rains of his Sobriety Reason and Religion to play at Have at All or to Write in a Refined sort of Frenzy For let his Rodamantadoes and Bombast be but unreachably Remote or Far-fought as we commonly say and it will want nothing to make it off provided the Bookseller be but Wise. To be Witty at this Rate is certainly very Poor Pitiful as well as Spightful for any one to signalize himself by because every one that will sans regard assume this abominable abusive Liberty may as easily attain the accomplishment if any will have it one for as much as Mens Wits are naturally readier at this than any other Theme Yet though the Ape be never so curiously trick'd up he is still but the same so let such Works be set out in never so quaint Language yet what are they better then unsavory Breaths perfum'd a more precious kind of stink in the Nostrils of either the Judicious or Good and smell still too much of the Dunghil Declamations of the Schools studied Oppositions though by some they may be said smart or witty yet the order of their Design or Matters wherewith they meddle are very little Just or Conformable to the Precepts of good Morality Humanity or Christianity in any degree and so base and degenerate a Genius ought utterly to be abandon'd by the sober and civil sort of Mankind and of all that prosess and love Virtue as dissentaneous to the right Rules of true Generosity and as much beneath that Grandeur of a Christians high Profession which teaches Men not to revile and slander one another and forewarns them from being Busie-bodies in other Mens matters Some Men in the heat of Humor while the letcherous Itch lasts care not who they Traduce or Reflect upon so they can but do it handsomely in huggermugger Kings and Privy Councellors cannot scape them But could you peep through the Key-hole while he is in close Adultery in his Study with his Wanton Muse and let but a Mouse or the least Noise stir how he obrupty starts and rumples up the Naughty Sheets in more haste and confusion than the Gallant shifts the Scene of his private Debaucheries upon a dangerous surprize and when all is whist is presently at it again When 't is once delivered 't is presently pawn'd upon the Publick like a Brat upon the Parish the Incognito Parent standing by to observe how 't is received who railes with the rest against that which shame and danger dares not let him own for fear of Penance or a Whipping-post But 't were with such highly ridiculous to ask in St. Paul's Language What Profit have ye of those Things
Lifes but the Worlds end in a Book which cannot Repent and therefore Reputation once lost is past Retrieve An ingenious Poet Cautions well to this purpose Thy Credit wary keep 't is quickly gone Being got by many Actions lost by one I have read a Fable how that Reputation Love and Death made a Covenant to travel o're the World but each was to take a several Way When they were ready to depart mutual Inquiry was made how they might find one another again Death said they should be sure to hear of him in Battels Hospitals and in all Parts where either Famine or Diseases are rise Love bade them hearken after him among the Children of Cottagers whose Parents had left them nothing at Marriages at Feasts and amongst the professed Servants of Virtue the only Bond to tye him fast They long expected a Direction from Reputation who stood mute being urg'd to assign them Places where they might find him he sullenly answered his Nature was such that if he departed from any Man he never came to him more The Moral is excellent to our Subject To Display a Mans Malice in Writing is no less than deliberate Wickedness a kinde of Civil Murther prepenc'd chew'd Bullets that wrankle where they enter the Plague in Paper which he that would shun let him take heed how he comes between the Infectious Sheets The Publick Breath of Calumny like contagious Air is of late become too Epidemical though the Infection will not soon taint the sound Constitution of a solid Judgment The humming Noise of Fame and the harsh grating of Detractiou are now the ungrateful sounds that so much Disturb this mutinous Town The Obscure envy the Eminent as Boys cry Whip Coach-man when they cannot Ride as well as others Ingenuity sure never before knew so many Spightful Spider-Pates which weave Book-leaves of Antick Cobweb-wit to Catch the Roving-headed Butter-flies of this Age in Excuse me Sir if I have enlarged my Letter too much on this Subject and do not think I have done it meerly to please my own itch of Writing for I could never flatter my self into any Opinion of my own Parts if I have any And be assured that above all things I abhor and most splēefully laugh at the Publick-spirited Fop that is Ambitious of the Name of a Reformer for I have seen so much the serious Folly of that too that I think it much more fashionable to be of the Laughing than Weeping side of the World which alas the more you strive to amend still the worse you make it Thus we see there is no Curb can keep Men within the Modest Bounds of Civility albeit Those whose care it is be never so Cautious to prevent the Inconveniency of putting forth particular Reflections to open Censure under the lash of every Licentious Pen and Tongue But the Press cannot escape without its Errata's and By-blows as we count such Books as we have Treated of to be the obscure Parents sometimes like counterfeit Gypsies colouring their Brats over with a Foreign Imprimatur with a Cant to the Typis as a Guide to the Gibderish it is fraught withal And now Sir if you please you may communicate this to such of your Ingenious Acquaintance as are Book-buyers that they as well as you may be made more sensible of the present Spawn of our Fantastick Fry of Town-Wits and rest satisfied without buying any more till this Freake be worn out of Fashion as I heartily wish it were And so without more ado save only to wish a Return of these Men well to their Wits again I bid you for this time Farewell FINIS Books sold by Henry Million at the Sign of the Bible in Fleet-Street near White-Friers BIshop Andrews Sermons Folio 18. s. Heylins Cosmography in four Books containing the Chorography and History of the World Folio 1. l. Burges Reciprocal Refining or a Treatise of Grace and Assurance wherein is handled the Doctrine of Assurance Folio first and second Parts Burges of Original Sin asserted and vindicated against the old and new Adversaries thereof both Socinians Arminians and Anabaptists in four Parts Folio 12 s. A General Martyrology containing a Collection of the Greatest Persecutions which have befallen the Church of Christ from the Creation to our present times both in England and all other Nations whereunto are added two and twenty Lives of English Modern Divines by Sam. Clerk Folio 1 l. 6. s. Pious Annotations upon the holy Bible Expounding the difficultest places thereof learnedly and plainly By the learned and Godly Divine Mr. Iohn Diodat Minister of the Gospel Folio 18. s. Memoyrs of the Lives Actions Sufferings and Deaths of those Noble Reverend and Excellent Persons that suffered for their Allegiance to His late Majesty in our late Civil Wars and continued till 1666. With the Life and Martyrdom of King CHARLES the First Folio 12. s. The Saints Everlasting Rest by Mr. Richard Baxter Teacher of Gods Word in large quarto 8. s. The Reasons of Christian Religion the first Part of Godliness the second Part of Christianity By Richard Baxter 7. s. His Apology in quarto 6. s. His Disputations on the Sacraments in quarto 5. s. Look unto Iesus or an ascent to the Holy Mount to see Iesus Christ in his Glories 1. In his Divine Generation 2. In his Power over the World 3 In his Power over his Church in her two-fold Estate 1. Militant 2. Triumphant At the end of the Book is an Appendix shewing the Certainty of the Calling of the Iews by Edward Lane Vicar of Sparsholt in the County of South alias Hampshire in quarto 4. s. The Young Clerks Guide or an exact Collection of Choice English Presidents according to the best Forms now used for all sorts of Indentures Letters of Attorney Releases Conditions very useful and necessary for all but chiefly for those that intend to follow the Attorneys Practice in octavo 4. s. The Young Clerks Tutor enlarged the last Edition octavo Price bound 1. s. 6. d. Female Pre-eminence or the Excellency of that Sex ahove the Male A Discourse written Originally in Latine and Translated into English with additional advantages by H. C. in octavo Price bound 1. s. Memorials of Godliness and Christianity in three Parts The first containing Meditations 1. Making Religion ones business 2. An Appendix applied to the Calling of a Minister With a full account of the Authors life the tenth Edition corrected and enlarged in 12.10 d. The Rule and Exercise of Holy Living and Dying by Ierem. Taylor D. D. in octavo Price 5 s. The English Rogue described in the Life of Meriton Latroon a witty Extravagant comprehending the most eminent Cheats of both Sexes 1. Part 2. s. 6. d 2. Part 2. s. 6. d. 3. Part 3. s. The Female Secretary or choice Letters fitted and wholly designed for the capacity and occasions of Women with plain yet full and exact Rules and Directions for the Inditing Composing and Writing of Letters than any extant Devoted to the Service of the fair Sex by the Translator of Female Pre-eminence in octato 1. s. There may be had at Mr. H. Millions several Famous Approved and purely Vegetable Spirits or Essences which are of admirable use and benefit as may be seen in Printed Papers peculiarly describing their Virtues c. They may be had in small Quantities in little Glasses at reasonable rates Prepared by David Hampton Servant in Ordinary to the Kings Majesty There is also to be had an excellent Scorbutick Water that cureth the Scurvy in the Mouth and Gums and killeth the Worms in the Teeth fastens the Teeth if loose and restoreth them to their pure whiteness again though never so black The Tooth-ach it cureth and is a great preventer thereof It is a great healer of the Running Evil Scab'd Heads all breakings out in the Face the Itch in the Body The Dry-Scurvy-Scab next door to the Leprosie it wonderfully heals by Gods great blessing And for the benefit of all who are desirous to make use of this Water it is to be had in Glass-bottles sealed up from a lesser quantity to a greater at a reasonable rate There is also to be had a Water that cureth the Gout in old or young thus applied Take two ounces heat it as hot as possibly you can and with a linnen Rag dipped therein foment the place grieved repeat the application often be it never so hot it will not produce a blister but through Gods great blessing work a perfect Cure Mr. Iohn Pierces Famous and Approved Lozenges for the Cure of Consumptions Colds and all Diseases incident to the Lungs the Price of a Paper containing a quarter of a Pound 2. s. 6. d. You may have at the Bible in Fleet-street Writing Paper of all sorts blank Bonds of several sorts and the best Ink for Records FINIS
by his side But I 'le venture on Him for as they say if we can but draw Bloud of Witches their Envious Intents cease so if the Nib of my Pen be but sharp-pointed enough to prick to the quick I need not fear the worst he then can do to me neither need others after once they are forewarn'd THE CHARACTER OF A Detractor A Detractor is a kind of Camelion that lives upon the worst sort of Air at first bred up and suckled with sour Sustenance from the lank and flaggy Dugs of his lean and meager Mother Envy he afterwards feeds on Fame his words are worse than Poyson of Asps and are a kind of Witchcraft so that the Sufferer may justly be said to be under an Evil Tongue Like one of the wayward Sisters he spightfully picks the foul and poysonous Weeds out of the fairest Gardens of Mens fruitful Labors wherewith to work his wicked Sorceries with venomous Breath endeavouring to blast the best and fragrant Flowers of Mens Writings that they may wither in the minds and memories of the World He is a sort of turbulent spirited Furiozo continually foaming out his frothy Passion on all sides like a malicious old Woman ever muttering extreamly incensed he can find none to vouchsafe to vex him till out of pure spight he is fain at length to be himself both Satyr Answer and Reply 'T would fright you or him either to behold his own angry Face during the pang of Composure He Writes on as Fish-women Rail without Cessation or Premeditation without Patience to Hear or Time to Deliberate and Answers hit or miss without Perusal letting all the while his Passion boyl over without ever skiming of the filthy Foam that alwayes arises from the intemperate Heat of in-kindled Fury Erasmus seems to have very well understood the Nature of this Malady amongst Men and mentions it as if himself had once had some symptomes of it when he saves Multi mei similes hoc morbo laborant ut cum scribere nesciant tamen ascribendo temperare non possunt Many saith he are very sick of my Disease and though they can do nothing worthy of the Publick yet they must be publishing their hellish Humors fouler than the Ink they write with and this makes the World abound so with Books The Teemings of every Term which deserves a much severer Tax upon every Sheet then there is imposed upon the Law that so it might at once breed less Trouble and more Profit to the Press it Plagues A Detractor Is one who knowes how to shoot dead your Repute and yet you never hear the Report he hath several sorts of Poysons and but one way to apply 'em that 's commonly at the Ear He sometimes whispers like one that discourses through the Speaking-Trumpet you shall hear the sound but not know who utters it nor whence it proceeds He is Traytor to Truth a Lying Oracle or the Old Devil of Delphos to Abuse the Credulous Delude the Ignorant Confirm the Suspicious and Inflame the Jealous He is a kind of Monster among Men and hath a double Face a double Heart and a cloven Tongue a Viper that will venture to Bite though he break his venomous Teeth out in the attempt A Proteus in Conversation upon every turn a subtle Angler of Secrets he pretends private impartments of others to hook out yours he first finds out if he can your inward resentments of others and then tickles you either with falacious Encomiums or detractive Untruths of them according as he finds out or can insinuate into your humor I like well the Caution in the Satyr Fingere qui non visa potest commissa tacere Qui nequit hic niger est hunc tu Romane coveto Who feigns what was not and discloaks a Soul Beware him Noble Roman he is foul A Worthy Man DESCRIBED A Right Bred or Worthy Man will scorn to be so base as to Flatter and hates to be so Currish as to Bite any any one so that even his Reproofs seem kind and generous and his Wounds do not want their Balsome You may read his Temper in his Face he fleers not at a Reproachful Jeer but shews his dislike in his looks he stands aloofe when Men Whisper and is no greedy Listner after Privacies his Tongue never betrayes his Heart and Report can find no Eccho in him When you Lodge in him a Secret your necessary Caution locks it safe up and your self keeps the Key It is his Grief to know a Vice of his Friends and his Charity he shews in concealing it he never over-Praises nor Undervalues any man for his Prudence instructs that the one stirs up Envy and the other procures contempt He that can be brought so low as Fear or Flattery must not presume once to own the Forfeited name of Gentleman or Christian. First he cannot lay claim to the Moral Virtues of Justice Truth or Civility so that he is neither fit to be a Friend or an Umpire in any Affair Fear and a little meanacing makes him Faulty to Both nor is he to be Trusted with another Mans Reputation who has not Courage to defend his own if questioned A good Poet says Defend the Truth for that who will not die A Coward is and gives himself the lye He that hath a Cowardly fear within him can never be a true Christian but like the After-penetent Apostle he will be apt in time of Trial to give his own Heart the Lye and Deny the Lord that bought him He cannot hold the Truth till it wax hot in his Hand or ever endure a Martyrdom for it But like the wretched Italian panting under the hasty Threats of a surprizing Enemy in hopes to save his Life Belch'd out as bidden Horrid Blasphemies to gratifie the Will of his insulting Enemy till in the midst of them he Stabs the Naked Wretch and then Brag'd how he had doubled his Revenge Destroying Soul and Body at one Blow But this only by way of illustration to clear the last Assertions of the Degenerate Effects of such sure Symptomes of Cowardice and Unchristianity I have not yet done with our Detractor I must take him a little further to Task before I give him over and ask of him What Amends he can make to the Party whose Fame and Repute he hath Publickly Traduc'd and Vilified For doubtless if we respect Human Society there cannot be a more pernicious Ill atending it 't is a giving up a Mans Name to perpetual Infamy and Reproach an irreparable Wrong towards which the best Amends falls short of Satisfaction A Blot never to be raz'd out but by writing the whole fair over again in way of Recantation Publick Confession being ever due to Publick Injuries and when that 's done too to Retract does not make full Compensation since he that does it cannot be sure that he who saw his first shall read his last also So that he who offends in this kind does it not only to his