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A13499 Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place Written on purpose, with much study to no end, plentifully stored with want of wit, learning, iudgement, rime and reason, and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of nobody. Toyte, Puncton, Ghemorah, Molushque, Kaycapepson. This is the worke of the authors, without borrowing or stealing from others. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 (1622) STC 23795; ESTC S101248 8,728 30

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SIR Gregory Nonsence His Newes from no place Written on purpose with much study to no end plentifully stored with want of wit learning Iudgement Rime and Reason and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of Nobody Toyte Puncton Ghemorah Molushque Kaycapepson This is the worke of the Authors without borrowing or stealing from others By Iohn Taylor Printed in London and are to bee sold betweene Charing-Crosse and Algate To the Sir Reuerence Rich Worshipped Master Trim Tram Senceles great Image of Authority and Hedgborough of the famous City of Goteham and to the rest of that admired and vnmatchable Senate with their Corruptions and Families MOst Honorificicabilitudinitatibus I hauing studied the seuen Lubberly Sciences being nine by computation out of which I gathered three coniunctions foure mile Asse-vnder which with much labour and great ease to little or no purpose I haue Noddicated to your gray graue and grauelled Prate ection I doubt not but I might haue had a Patrone neerer hand as the Deane of Dunstable or the Beadle of Layton Buzzard but that I know the p●●rase Method and Stile is not for euery mans vnderstanding no my most renowned Pythagor-Asses for you this Hogshead of inuention was brewed and broched for I am ignorantly perswaded that your wisedome can pick as much matter out of this Booke in one day as both the Vniuersities can in twelue moneths and thirteene Moones with sixe times foure yeeres to boot I know your bounties too exding for as old mother Baly said the wit of man was much when she saw a dog muzzled Euery man is not borne to make a Monument for the Cuckoo to send a Trifoote home alone to driue sheepe before they haue them or to Trundle Cheeses down a hill So saluting you with more prespect then the Maior of Loo did the Queenes Ape I take leaue to leaue you and rest yours to bid you welcome if you came within a mile of my house to stay all night Yours Rolihayton To Nobody VVpon a Christmas Euen som what night Easter anon after Whitsontide walking in a Coach from London to Lambeth by water I ouertooke a man that met me in the morning before sunne set the wind being in Capricorne the Signe Southwest with silence I demanded many questions of him and hee with much pensiuenesse did answere me merrily to the full with such ample and empty replications that both our vnderstandings being equally satisfied we contentiously agreed to finish and prosecute the narration of the vnknowne Knight Sir Gregory Nonsence so sitting downe vpon our shoulders resting vneasily on a banke of Sicamores vnder a Tree of odoriferous and contagious Camomile after three sighs smilingly vttered in the Hebrew Character two grones from the Chaldean Dialact fiue sobs from the Arabian Sinquapace sixe dumps from Germane Idiome nine Moodes of Melancholly from the Italian tongue with one hub hub from the Hiberbian outcry And last he laughed in the Cambrian tongue and beganne to declare in the Vtopian speech what I haue heere with most diligent negligence translated into the English Language in which if the Printer hath placed any line letter or sillable whereby this large volume may bee made guilty to bee vnderstood by any man I would haue the Reader not to impute the fault to the Author for it was farre from his purpose to write to any purpose so ending at the beginning I say as it is applawsfully writ ten and commended to posterity in the Midsommer nights dreame If we offend it is with our good will we came with no intent but to offend and shew our simple skill Rolihayton The names of such Authors Alphabetically recited as are simply mintioned in this Worke. A Madis de Gaul Archy Arms. Beuis of Hampton Boe to a Goose. Charing Crosse. Coakley Dunsmore Cow Dauy Wager Euanwich Muffe Frier and the Boy Fubs his Trauels Garagantua Gammon of Westphallia Grigs Granam Hundred merry tales Huon of Burdeux Iacke Drum Knight of the Sunne Knaue of Diamonds Lanum Long Meg. Mad Mawdlin No body Otoole Proofes of OOOO Quinborough Osters Ready mony Shooters Hill Singer Sir Thomas Parsons Tarleton Tom Derry Tom Thumbe Vnguentum Album Will Summers Wit whither wilt thou Woodcocke of our side Xampelloes Quiblines Yard of Ale Zany on tumbling Faults escaped in the Printing which a wise Reader may mend when he sees them IN the 25. page 44. line for a Friers mouth read a Pudding If the 170. page 53. line for a foole read a Bable In the 90. page 27. line for friend read rare In the 30. page 6. line 78. for a Whore read a Bridewell In the 100. pace line 40. for a Bawd reade a Cart. In the 12. page 11. line for noone read dinner In the 16. first and all the Pages following for Tobacco read a Witch In the 40. page and 80. line for a Calues head read Bacon In the 37. page and 1. line for vice read plenty In the 000. page and 3. line for money read scarce In the last Page for conscience read none In euery page for sence read nonsence Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place IT was in Iune the eight and thirtieth day That I imbarked was on highgate Hill After discourteous friendly taking leaue Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn The Wind did ebbe the tide flou'd North South-east We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida And after 13. dayes and 17. nights VVith certaine Hiroglyphicke houres to boote We with tempestuous calmes and friendly stormes Split our maine top-mast close below the keele But I with a dull quick congruity Tooke 19. ounces of the Westerne winde And with the pith of the pole Artichocke Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond There in a Fort of melting Adamant Arm'd in a Crimson Robe as blacke as Iet I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred Lead Serberus to the Proponticke Sea Then cutting further through the marble Maine 'Mongst flying Buls and 4. leg'd Turkicocks A dumbe faire spoken welfac'd aged youth Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides With tonguelesse silence thus beganne his speech Illustrious flapiack to thy hungry doome Low as the ground I eleuate my cause As I vpon a Gnat was riding late In quest to parley with the Pleiades I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close In a greene Arbour made of yellow starch Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales A Banquet was serued in of Lampraies bones Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time When Demogorgon saild to Islington Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico ' Tinforme great Prester Iohn and the Mogull What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate The Mogull all enraged with these newes Sent a black snaile post to Tartaria To tell the Irishmen in Saxony The dismall downefall of old Charing Crosse. With that nine butter Firkins in a flame Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause Guessing by the Sinderesis of wapping Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous For