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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
B18912 The character of Italy or, The Italian anatomiz'd. / by An English chyrurgion. 1660 (1660) Wing C2018; Thomason E.2109[3] 25,035 107

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Marchiones de Campolatero publiquely as his Concubine to accomplish which designe he accustomed to send the Marquiss her Husband upon remote employments The eighth was He committed Rapes upon many young Maids and Virgins and bored a Woman at the very Altar and had to do with another in the Chancel of St. Maries Church O horrible Convert the Church into a Charnel house Ninth He frequented Nunneries not out of devotion but for recreation or more significantly procreation our of profane and sacrilegious ends Tenth He made a feast of flesh upon Maundy Thursday contrary to the Canons to their Holy Mother the Church and was never observ'd to keep fasting but feasting dayes alwaies Eleventh He made other feasts for some of the Principal Courtisanos of Naples that in Don Pedro de Toledo's garden whom he compelled to confess with how many Clergy-men they had traded and commanded an Inventory of their names to be taken immediatly Blessed saints that disapprove of lawful matrimony but approve of unlawful meretricious actions it grieves them to see such pure Nunnes flesh as they do somtimes barreld up in penitential pickle yet for all the pretended strictness of their Religion they can break a Lent to seed upon them Twelfth He would often ride abroad in the Coach with Juana Maria a Lady of pleasure that was as common as a Barbers Chair no sooner one was out but another was in Thirteenth He had always in his House a Morisco slave on whom he begat a Bastard and suffered him to be educated in the Mahume●●n Superstition and after his decease was entombed according to the Turkish Rites and Ceremonies Twentieth He did innumerable other acts of obscenity and wantonness as inviting the fairest Concubines into his garden where he had provided as sumptuous as luscious a Banquet for them after which he commanded them to strip themselves stark naked where 't is to be observed he had a fancy to see the naked truth whil'st he with a hollow trunck shet confits at their naked bodies which they were to take up standing upon their high Chiappins Twenty one He caused a Barber to strip himself stark naked and shave his Dutchesses quod ad ha●e she being likewise naked and he all the while standing by with a great knife in his hand to cut off his privities if he found any motion in them all the while a wretched fellow and egregious Cox-comb who deserved to wear a pair of horns that should reach from one end of Naples to the other and that not a condign punishment for his crime O old Rome All thy Floralia wanton Feasts and Games come far short of those of thy modern issue no Pagan Turk Jew nor Heathen nay I 'le be loth to say Hell it self never entertain'd such a Smell-smock such a Linnen-lifter as this salacious he-goat this wanton Satyr Duke Ossuna But lest this discourse should be unwelcome to the chaste ears of the Reader wee 'l turn our discourse to a more pleasing subject And begin with the Peasant who though he passeth all the week in drudgery and servility yet is so puft up with vain glory and pride that on Sunday and Holy-days he will be sure to have his body well cloath'd though his belly want furnishing and his Wife that works day and night for a hungry living will be so pranked up that if you were unacquainted with the phantastique humor of this mimical people you would mistake this Joan for some Lady of repute and honor in the country And indeed they are all so highly conceited of their deferts from the Cedar to the shrub with their imaginary Revenues and the Chimera's that they hatch in their brains of their own dignity and Grandeza that there is not one of them but will speak thousands rather then betray their indigency One will sit at his door picking his teeth and condemning the Capon he eat last when alas poor despicable wretch His throat is an absolute stranger to such dainty Viands for a dried morsel of bread hoary and crusted with a second bark whose leather'd outside would not court a dog arm'd with the edge of appetite to eat it would be adainty bit to cramb his empty gorge Another will beg in this method First he looks to see whether the coast be clear before he will utter one Suppliant syllable and then he approaches with such submissiveness as a slave useth to his Patron yet if any chance to glance that way with his eye immediately he retreats to familiarity pressing the justness of his demands till he squeezes your Alms which if it be a penny or some such inconsiderable sum as they judge so small a piece to be he throws it contemptibly in the donors face but soon after peaceably looks for it finds it and hath the grace to say an Ave Maria or a Pater Noster for the Benefactor But now I think we have breath'd the Neapolitan Courser sufficiently let us turn our Bridle and travel to Venice which is taken to be no other then a Boat that some Castle doth embarque by the Magick Laws of Urgandus when he would have sayled to great Albion to visit Amadis as he did in times of the year and 't is observable that the world never produced such unheard of Machiavilian Devices to surprize an Enemy unawares as the Venetian hath been Author of for here you may see a Pocket church-Church-book with a Pistol hid in the binding which turning to such a page discharges a plot to ensnare him to whom they bear a prejudice whilest at his Devotion when there is least suspition Execrable wretches that make Gods Word the Cloak to palliate all their Villanies and Murthers Another of their infernal Inventions is a pocket Stone-bow which carried under a Cloak dischargeth Needles with such violence that it pierceth thorough a mans body and leaves a wound whose Orifice is scarcely discernable by the most Eagle-ey'd Chyrurgion A third a Walking-staff in appearance at the top whereof is a spring which graspt hard at the end jets forth a Rapier with force enough to kill a man at a yards distance A fourth is a Gun to be discharged with wind which for six paces fails not of execution with little or no report And give me leave to adde a fifth Knack of theirs which is their Bergamasque hanging up in the third Chamber of the Grand Dogues Gallery being an Invention to lock up female frailty an irrefragable Argument of the Italian Jealousie with which inhumane constraint they do so persecute and prosecute their Consorts back and belly and so cramp them hip and thigh that if a poor despicable Crab-louse should chance to be cloyster'd up within these ferraments he hath not room to breath and what would become of the poor Flea should it be his fate to be thus confined I presume he could not take his frollikish Lavaltors This Enginery of theirs manifests that they have a care of the hinder not the forepart altogether insensible