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Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
book_n see_v speak_v write_v 2,745 5 4.9771 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A81063 England's jests refin'd and improv'd being a choice collection of the merriest jests, smartest repartee's, wittiest sayings, and most notable bulls, yet extant with many new ones, never before printed. To which are added, XI[V]. ingenious characters drawn to the life. The whole work compil'd with great care and exactness: and may serve as the witty-man's companion, the busy-man's diversion, and the melancholy-man's physick and recreation. The second edition with additions. Calculated for the innocent spending of the winter evenings, by H.C. Crouch, Humphrey, fl. 1635-1671.; Drapentier, Jan, fl. 1674-1713, engraver. 1687 (1687) Wing C7277A; ESTC R231051 63,902 190

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you_o teach_v i_o 196._o a_o country_n gentleman_n ride_v along_o cheapside_n his_o horse_n stumble_v and_o throw_v he_o in_o the_o dirt_n so_o he_o get_v a_o fellow_n to_o hold_v he_o and_o go_v into_o the_o next_o shop_n the_o mistress_n of_o which_o be_v a_o pleasant_a woman_n smile_v see_v he_o have_v no_o hurt_n ask_v he_o if_o his_o horse_n use_v to_o serve_v he_o so_o yes_o madam_n say_v he_o when_o he_o come_v just_a against_o a_o cuckold_n door_n then_o in_o truth_n reply_v she_o ingenious_o you_o be_v like_a to_o have_v twenty_o fall_n before_o you_o get_v to_o the_o exchange_n 197._o a_o gentleman_n ride_v to_o epsom_n overtake_v a_o hadsome_a country_n wench_n jog_v along_o easy_o upon_o a_o poor_a dull_a mare_n the_o gentleman_n be_v merry_o dispose_v ask_v she_o how_o she_o do_v and_o tell_v she_o if_o she_o please_v he_o will_v occupy_v she_o o_o sir_n say_v she_o what_o good_a will_v that_o do_v i_o why_o say_v he_o it_o will_v make_v you_o brave_a and_o brisk_a pray_v then_o sir_n say_v she_o occupy_n my_o mare_n for_o she_o be_v very_o dull_a 198._o a_o elder_a brother_n tell_v his_o young_a brother_n that_o that_o white_a camlet_n cloak_n he_o have_v on_o become_v he_o extraordinary_a well_o i'faith_o brother_n say_v he_o but_o a_o black_a mourn_a cloak_n for_o you_o will_v become_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n better_o 199._o a_o great_a swearer_n be_v subpoena_v to_o give_v his_o oath_n upon_o a_o trial_n they_o bring_v he_o a_o book_n to_o swear_v on_o faith_n say_v he_o to_o the_o clerk_n you_o may_v save_v yourself_o that_o labour_n for_o there_o be_v no_o oath_n but_o i_o can_v swear_v it_o without_o book_n 200._o a_o scold_a woman_n use_v to_o abuse_v her_o husband_n who_o be_v pretty_a soft_o and_o call_v he_o cuckold_n twenty_o time_n a_o day_n which_o a_o silly_a fellow_n hear_v say_v he_o wonder_v the_o husband_n be_v such_o a_o fool_n to_o let_v his_o wife_n know_v that_o he_o be_v a_o cuckold_n 201._o a_o drunken_a country_n fellow_n who_o 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complain_v to_o his_o friend_n that_o be_v a_o sober_a man_n that_o whatever_o he_o take_v in_o hand_n to_o die_v come_v to_o some_o mischance_n or_o other_o o_o say_v his_o friend_n the_o way_n to_o succeed_v in_o your_o business_n be_v to_o amend_v your_o life_n for_o a_o man_n that_o do_v not_o live_v well_o can_v never_o die_v well_o 206._o a_o fidler_n boast_v what_o a_o chaste_a wife_n he_o have_v say_v a_o gentleman_n i_o will_v lay_v my_o house_n against_o thy_o fiddle_n that_o if_o i_o have_v opportunity_n i_o will_v get_v her_o consent_n to_o lie_v with_o she_o the_o wager_n be_v lay_v and_o he_o have_v the_o fiddler_n consent_n to_o try_v but_o the_o fiddler_n go_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n and_o sing_v this_o song_n under_o the_o window_n hold_v out_o my_o dear_a hold_v out_o hold_v out_o but_o these_o two_o hour_n if_o you_o hold_v out_o there_o be_v no_o doubt_n but_o the_o house_n and_o all_o be_v we_o to_o which_o his_o wife_n answer_v i_o faith_n sweet_a william_n i_o 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action_n also_o against_o the_o parson_n for_o fifteen_o shilling_n the_o parson_n hear_v of_o it_o go_v and_o ask_v he_o how_o he_o come_v to_o owe_v he_o fifteen_o shilling_n he_o tell_v he_o for_o trim_v why_o say_v the_o parson_n i_o be_v never_o trim_v by_o you_o in_o my_o life_n you_o may_v if_o you_o will_v say_v the_o quaker_n my_o door_n stand_v open_a 59_o a_o doctor_n of_o physic_n in_o oxford_n that_o use_v to_o salute_v every_o one_o he_o meet_v with_o these_o word_n i_o be_o very_o glad_a to_o see_v you_o well_o a_o student_n a_o gentleman_n of_o good_a quality_n who_o he_o so_o greet_v tell_v he_o ingenious_o he_o believe_v he_o lie_v for_o the_o world_n go_v ill_o with_o he_o when_o people_n be_v well_o 60._o one_o persuade_v a_o man_n to_o hang_v his_o dog_n that_o have_v do_v some_o mischief_n i_o be_o loath_a to_o hang_v he_o say_v he_o but_o i_o will_v go_v among_o his_o neighbour_n and_o give_v he_o a_o ill-name_n and_o that_o be_v as_o bad_a 61._o a_o french_a captain_n have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n close_o besiege_a in_o a_o place_n where_o for_o four_o month_n he_o eat_v nothing_o but_o horseflesh_n at_o length_n be_v relieve_v he_o repair_v to_o his_o former_a mistress_n think_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o dalliance_n and_o caress_n that_o he_o be_v former_o bless_v with_o but_o she_o have_v be_v inform_v how_o he_o use_v fare_v since_o his_o departure_n hold_v say_v she_o monsieur_n for_o though_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v get_v with_o child_n yet_o i_o be_o resolve_v never_o to_o be_v get_v with_o colt._n 62._o a_o covetous_a tradesman_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v marry_v but_o be_v afraid_a of_o the_o charge_n of_o have_v child_n too_o fast_o at_o last_o he_o resolve_v to_o be_v marry_v and_o agree_v with_o his_o wife_n that_o they_o will_v lie_v together_o but_o once_o a_o fortnight_n and_o say_v he_o i_o intend_v to_o get_v every_o fortnight_n a_o joint_n of_o the_o child_n from_o head_n to_o forth_o so_o by_o that_o device_n we_o shall_v not_o have_v too_o many_o child_n but_o i_o do_v it_o my_o dear_a to_o ease_v thou_o in_o the_o bear_n of_o they_o which_o you_o know_v will_v be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o you_o after_o marriage_n it_o seem_v he_o lay_v with_o she_o the_o first_o night_n and_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o it_o come_v about_o but_o at_o 40_o week_n end_n she_o be_v bring_v to_o bed_n of_o a_o brave_a boy_n why_o how_o now_o wise_a say_v he_o this_o be_v not_o according_a to_o my_o expectation_n yes_o husband_n say_v she_o but_o i_o may_v thank_v good_a neighbour_n or_o else_o for_o aught_o i_o know_v we_o may_v have_v have_v a_o deform_a child_n 63._o the_o king_n of_o spain_n come_v into_o one_o of_o his_o chief_a city_n the_o mayor_n come_v to_o make_v a_o speech_n and_o begin_v thus_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n but_o be_v dash_v out_o of_o countenance_n he_o say_v again_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n and_o so_o the_o three_o time_n but_o can_v not_o proceed_v then_o the_o king_n turn_v to_o his_o courtier_n say_v we_o may_v easy_o imagine_v this_o man_n to_o be_v a_o ass_n by_o the_o consequent_a 64._o mr._n philemon_n holland_n have_v translate_v several_a book_n as_o plutarch_n pliny_n livy_n cambden_n etc._n etc._n at_o length_n he_o translate_v suetonius_n tranquillus_n into_o english_a upon_o which_o a_o ingenious_a blade_n write_v this_o distich_n on_o he_o philemon_n with_o translation_n do_v so_o fill_v we_o he_o will_v not_o let_v suetonius_n be_v tranquillus_n 65._o a_o gentleman_n go_v into_o a_o church_n in_o london_n when_o they_o be_v chant_v sternhold_n and_o hopkin_n psalm_n which_o be_v not_o the_o most_o melodious_a in_o the_o world_n the_o word_n be_v these_o have_v mercy_n upon_o we_o miserable_a sinner_n ay_o say_v he_o thoy_z may_z as_o well_o have_v say_v have_v mercy_n upon_o we_o miserable_a singer_n 66._o two_o spark_n stand_v together_o in_o the_o cloister_n see_v a_o pretty_a lady_n pass_v by_o say_v one_o of_o they_o there_o go_v the_o handsome_a lady_n that_o ever_o i_o see_v in_o my_o life_n she_o hear_v he_o turn_v back_o and_o see_v he_o very_o ugly_a say_v sir_n i_o will_v i_o can_v in_o way_n of_o requital_n say_v as_o much_o of_o you_o faith_n say_v he_o so_o you_o may_v and_o lie_v as_o i_o do_v 67._o a_o poor_a man_n in_o smithfield_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o bound_v his_o son_n to_o a_o butcher_n but_o be_v solicitous_a to_o get_v a_o master_n of_o who_o he_o may_v learn_v his_o trade_n well_o he_o ask_v his_o friend_n who_o be_v a_o ingenious_a gentleman_n and_o have_v great_a acquaintance_n to_o who_o he_o shall_v bound_v he_o o_o say_v he_o there_o be_v a_o physician_n hard_a by_o you_o bound_v he_o to_o he_o for_o he_o kill_v more_o than_o all_o beside_o in_o the_o town_n 68_o a_o gallant_a dine_a at_o a_o friend_n house_n have_v promise_v a_o lady_n to_o meet_v she_o in_o the_o afternoon_n but_o be_v engage_v after_o dinner_n at_o card_n can_v not_o fair_o get_v away_o wherefore_o he_o call_v his_o boy_n and_o send_v he_o to_o the_o lady_n to_o excuse_v he_o whisper_v he_o in_o the_o ear_n that_o what_o ever_o answer_v the_o lady_n return_v he_o shall_v tell_v it_o he_o as_o if_o it_o be_v from_o a_o man_n that_o the_o company_n may_v not_o know_v so_o the_o boy_n go_v on_o his_o errand_n and_o a_o little_a after_o return_v to_o his_o master_n who_o ask_v he_o aloud_o before_o the_o company_n what_o be_v the_o gentleman_n at_o home_n yes_o sir_n answer_v the_o boy_n well_o what_o say_v he_o to_o you_o he_o say_v sir_n you_o may_v appoint_v any_o other_o time_n what_o be_v he_o do_v say_v the_o gentleman_n he_o be_v put_v on_o his_o hood_n and_o scarf_n to_o go_v to_o mass_n say_v the_o boy_n which_o discover_v the_o intrigue_n and_o set_v they_o all_o a_o laugh_v 69._o a_o woman_n ask_v her_o husband_n for_o some_o money_n to_o buy_v a_o broad_a silver_n and_o gold_n lace_n to_o put_v on_o her_o petticoat_n he_o reply_v thus_o to_o she_o if_o i_o once_o make_v you_o a_o goldfinch_n you_o will_v prove_v a_o wag_n tail_n all_o your_o life_n after_o 70._o one_o that_o be_v a_o great_a eater_n fit_v down_o to_o supper_n complain_v that_o he_o have_v lose_v his_o stomach_n w●ll_n say_v a_o merry_a fellow_n that_o be_v there_o if_o a_o poor_a man_n have_v find_v it_o he_o will_v be_v utter_o undo_v 71._o a_o bishop_n be_v inform_v by_o his_o steward_n of_o the_o greatness_n of_o his_o expense_n that_o it_o be_v over_o proportionable_a to_o his_o estate_n and_o that_o particular_o the_o number_n of_o his_o servant_n be_v too_o great_a the_o bishop_n order_v he_o to_o draw_v up_o a_o note_n of_o such_o as_o be_v necessary_a and_o such_o as_o be_v not_o which_o be_v do_v he_o summon_v all_o his_o servant_n together_o and_o read_v the_o note_n separate_v they_o and_o then_o say_v these_o i_o have_v need_n of_o and_o therefore_o they_o must_v continue_v those_o have_v need_n of_o i_o and_o therefore_o they_o must_v continue_v also_o 72._o just_o after_o the_o late_a king_n restauration_n when_o go_v to_o church_n come_v to_o be_v in_o fashion_n a_o old_a woman_n be_v advise_v by_o her_o neighbour_n to_o go_v to_o church_n for_o fear_n of_o be_v present_v she_o be_v resolve_v to_o go_v once_o a_o month_n to_o save_v her_o bacon_n so_o dress_n herself_o very_o fine_a she_o come_v into_o the_o church_n just_a at_o the_o expiration_n of_o the_o litany_n and_o the_o parson_n have_v say_v lord_n have_v mercy_n upon_o we_o and_o then_o the_o people_n responding_z thereunto_o she_o cry_v out_o aloud_o i_o never_o be_v here_o before_o in_o my_o life_n and_o since_o you_o make_v such_o a_o wonder_n mean_v at_o it_o i_o will_v never_o come_v again_o 73._o two_o gentleman_n walk_v in_o cheapside_n in_o oliver_n time_n see_v the_o sign_n of_o the_o golden-cross_n one_o of_o they_o proffer_v to_o lay_v two_o bottle_n of_o wine_n with_o the_o other_o that_o he_o will_v make_v the_o master_n of_o the_o shop_n pull_v down_o the_o sign_n the_o wager_n be_v lay_v he_o pull_v off_o his_o hat_n and_o make_v half_o a_o dozen_o leg_n to_o the_o sign_n first_o on_o one_o side_n and_o then_o on_o other_o which_o the_o master_n of_o the_o shop_n see_v think_v to_o prevent_v his_o future_a superstition_n sudden_o pull_v down_o his_o sign_n whereby_o the_o gentleman_n win_v his_o two_o bottle_n of_o wine_n 74._o a_o minister_n find_v his_o parishioner_n to_o be_v ignorant_a be_v reolve_v to_o examine_v and_o instruct_v they_o at_o home_n so_o go_v to_o a_o ancient_a woman_n
i_o so_o say_v he_o then_o put_v his_o hat_n before_o his_o eye_n he_o say_v the_o eye_n of_o all_o thing_n etc._n etc._n 127._o a_o gentleman_n reprove_v his_o friend_n that_o be_v a_o marry_a man_n for_o get_v a_o maid_n with_o child_n say_v he_o admire_v that_o such_o a_o man_n as_o he_o will_v defile_v his_o bed_n so_o you_o mistake_v sir_n say_v he_o there_o be_v no_o defile_n of_o my_o bed_n in_o th●_n case_n for_o i_o do_v it_o in_o the_o field_n 128._o a_o conceit_a fellow_n that_o have_v a_o extraordinary_a good_a opinion_n of_o himself_o ask_v his_o friend_n what_o other_o think_v of_o he_o why_o say_v his_o friend_n the_o wise_a think_v you_o foolish_a and_o fool_n think_v you_o wise_a now_o pray_v what_o think_v you_o of_o yourself_o 129._o two_o gentleman_n that_o have_v be_v a_o great_a while_n at_o law_n together_o and_o have_v spend_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o money_n at_o it_o one_o of_o the_o gentleman_n friend_n tell_v he_o that_o his_o antagonist_n have_v remove_v his_o suit_n into_o chancery_n let_v he_o remove_v it_o into_o h●ll_n say_v he_o i_o do_v question_v but_o to_o get_v a_o lawyer_n to_o follow_v it_o for_o money_n 130._o a_o english_a merchant_n at_o lisbon_n in_o spain_n sell_v some_o jew_n five_o hundred_o pound_n worth_a of_o glove_n but_o they_o fall_v off_o from_o their_o bargain_n will_v have_v but_o half_a of_o they_o well_o say_v the_o merchant_n you_o must_v give_v i_o some_o time_n to_o sort_v they_o and_o then_o you_o shall_v have_v half_a so_o he_o order_v his_o man_n to_o put_v all_o the_o right-handed_n glove_n in_o one_o parcel_n and_o the_o left-handed_a one_o in_o another_o then_o when_o the_o jew_n come_v he_o bid_v they_o take_v their_o choice_n which_o when_o they_o have_v do_v and_o be_v pack_v of_o they_o up_o they_o perceive_v they_o to_o be_v all_o for_o one_o hand_n and_o so_o be_v glad_a to_o take_v the_o other_o parcel_n at_o the_o merchant_n own_o rate_n 131._o one_o stand_v in_o the_o pillory_n at_o the_o exchange_n and_o his_o wife_n be_v by_o he_o to_o bear_v he_o company_n a_o gentleman_n that_o see_v he_o say_v he_o believe_v he_o be_v a_o papist_n because_o he_o have_v his_o cross_n with_o he_o 132._o another_o man_n hear_v a_o parson_n preach_v on_o that_o text_n take_v up_o your_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o take_v his_o wife_n on_o his_o back_n the_o next_o sunday_n and_o come_v into_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o church_n while_o the_o parson_n be_v preach_v and_o look_v up_o to_o he_o say_v now_o sir_n i_o have_v bring_v my_o cross_n what_o must_v i_o do_v with_o it_o the_o minister_n be_v a_o little_a surprise_v at_o the_o humour_n of_o the_o fellow_n hardly_o know_v what_o to_o say_v to_o he_o but_o at_o last_o he_o bid_v he_o set_v it_o down_o there_o yes_o that_o i_o will_v say_v he_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n though_o it_o be_v in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o sea_n but_o i_o see_v say_v he_o as_o well_o as_o you_o pretend_v to_o love_v the_o cross_n i_o may_v lie_v upon_o my_o hand_n this_o forty_o year_n before_o you_o will_v ease_v i_o of_o it_o 133._o a_o gentleman_n ask_v one_o of_o the_o female_a sex_n whether_o she_o be_v maid_n wife_n or_o widow_n and_o bid_v she_o tell_v he_o true_o she_o be_v a_o little_a put_v to_o it_o after_o some_o consideration_n upon_o this_o hard_a question_n and_o be_v above_o twenty_o year_n old_a answer_v he_o thus_o though_o i_o be_v never_o marry_v sir_n yet_o you_o may_v write_v i_o down_o young_a woman_n 134._o king_n henry_n the_o eight_o go_v once_o to_o gravesend_n take_v will._n summers_n his_o jester_n with_o he_o for_o his_o diversion_n the_o wind_n be_v very_o high_a it_o be_v very_o tempestuous_a and_o summer_n be_v very_o fearful_a think_v himself_o in_o great_a danger_n and_o say_v to_o the_o king_n harry_n harry_n i_o have_v rather_o be_v thy_o fool_n by_o land_n than_o thy_o companion_n by_o water_n at_o which_o the_o king_n laugh_v hearty_o 135._o a_o nobleman_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v merry_a send_v for_o his_o chaplain_n and_o tell_v he_o that_o unless_o he_o can_v resolve_v he_o these_o three_o question_n he_o shall_v be_v discard_v and_o turn_v out_o of_o his_o service_n but_o if_o he_o can_v he_o shall_v have_v thirty_o guinney_n and_o the_o best_a horse_n in_o his_o stable_a so_o he_o propose_v the_o question_n to_o he_o which_o be_v these_o first_o what_o compass_n the_o world_n be_v about_o second_o how_o deep_a the_o sea_n be_v and_o three_o what_o he_o think_v the_o poor_a chaplain_n be_v in_o a_o peck_n of_o trouble_n and_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o answer_v they_o or_o what_o to_o say_v think_v they_o very_o unreasonable_a question_n so_o that_o all_o he_o can_v do_v be_v to_o desire_v a_o little_a time_n to_o consider_v upon_o they_o which_o the_o earl_n grant_v so_o he_o go_v along_o the_o field_n one_o day_n very_o melancholy_a a_o cobbler_n of_o the_o town_n a_o merry_a fellow_n who_o be_v very_o like_o the_o chaplain_n both_o in_o physiognomy_n and_o stature_n meet_v he_o and_o ask_v he_o the_o reason_n of_o his_o sadness_n which_o with_o some_o reluctancy_n he_o tell_v he_o o_o sir_n say_v the_o cobbler_n do_v be_v deject_v cheer_v up_o i_o have_v think_v of_o a_o device_n to_o save_v your_o place_n and_o get_v you_o the_o money_n and_o horse_n too_o but_o you_o shall_v give_v i_o ten_o guinney_n for_o my_o pain_n so_o he_o agree_v to_o it_o and_o it_o be_v thus_o say_v he_o i_o will_v put_v on_o your_o clothes_n and_o go_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o answer_v his_o question_n according_o he_o go_v and_o when_o he_o come_v before_o he_o he_o answer_v he_o thus_o to_o the_o first_o question_n what_o compass_n the_o world_n be_v about_o he_o answer_v it_o be_v four_o and_o twenty_o hour_n journey_n and_o if_o a_o man_n can_v keep_v pace_n with_o the_o sun_n he_o may_v easy_o go_v it_o in_o that_o time_n to_o the_o second_o how_o deep_a the_o sea_n be_v he_o answer_v only_o a_o stone_n throw_v for_o cast_v it_o into_o the_o deep_a place_n ●f_o it_o and_o in_o time_n it_o will_v come_v to_o the_o bottom_n to_o the_o three_o which_o i_o fancy_v your_o lordship_n think_v the_o most_o difficult_a to_o be_v resolve_v but_o be_v indeed_o the_o easy_a which_o be_v what_o your_o lordship_n think_v i_o answer_v that_o you_o think_v i_o be_o your_o chaplain_n when_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o but_o the_o cobbler_n of_o gloucester_n the_o nobleman_n be_v so_o please_v with_o his_o witty_a answer_n that_o he_o perform_v his_o promise_n to_o his_o chaplain_n and_o give_v the_o cobbler_n ten_o guinney_n for_o his_o ingenuity_n 136._o say_v a_o glazier_n to_o a_o painter_n i_o see_v you_o do_v all_o under_o a_o colour_n get_v you_o go_v you_o rogue_n reply_v the_o painter_n you_o be_v always_o pick_v of_o quarrel_n 137._o a_o certain_a king_n keep_v a_o fool_n in_o his_o court_n that_o use_v to_o write_v down_o in_o a_o book_n all_o the_o folly_n of_o the_o great_a man_n in_o the_o court_n which_o book_n the_o king_n sometime_o when_o he_o be_v 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