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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A03174 A fourth hundred of epygrams, newly inuented and made by Iohn Heywood Heywood, John, 1497?-1580? 1560 (1560) STC 13297; ESTC S117616 11,892 36

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❧ A fourth hundred of Epygrams Newly inuented and made by Iohn Heywood LONDINI Anno Christi 1560. To the reader WEre it as parellous to deale cardes at play As it is quarellous to deale bookes this day One and forty men among one and fyfty Wold flee one and thirtie to flee one vnthrifty ▪ And yet cardes so dealt should haue in reuealyng Foredeale of bookes in this harde tyme of dealyng Cardes be tooted on but on the tone syde Bookes on both sydes in all places porde and pryde Not to content but to contend vpon spyall Of least tyttle that can come in tryall If the best wryter to wryte be muche afrayde More may I the woorst by fearefull feare be stayde And were not this one thyng feare shoulde stay me so That booke or ballet I neuer durst wryte mo In all my symple wrytynge neuer ment I To touche any pryuate person displeasantly Nor none do touche here by name but onely one Which is my selfe whom I may be bolde vpon This ment in my makyng syns proofe doth declare I pray you readers to scan this by this square As I for myrth myryly dyd make it So you in myrth myryly will take it FINIS The table OF weenyng and wottyng 1. Of a man of lawe and his clyentes 2. An aduyce against mockyng 3. Of Itchyng and smartyng 4. Of a sharpe tunge 5. Of a horse 6. Of a butler and a horse 7. Of Brasse 8. Of a louces dwellyng place 9. Of a straunge glasse 10 Of a dryuyng and drawyng 11. Of longe sutes 12. Of lightnesse 13. Of a disagreement 14 ▪ Of cheapyng of contes 15. Of a wyfe hauyng chylde 16. Of a bachiler and a mayde 17. Of short payment 18. Whence certayne thynges came fyrst 19 Of furred and lyned gownes 20. Of a wyne drawer 21. Shorte checkes betweene a man and his wyfe 22 Of a woman dekte in two coloures 23. Of vnsweete breath 24 Of clyppyng and clensyng 25. Of a man and his wyues departyng 26. ●n accounte of a mans children 27. Of a woman of Huntington 28. Of a laundres 29. Of a cutter of purslane 30. Of one that standeth in his owne conceite 31. Of one that harde without eares 32 Of an archers rouyng 33. Of peryll to one by the numbre of three 34. Of Gloria patri 35. Of a Diar 36. Of a Iugge 37. Of the three cuppes 38. Of Brasse and Iron 39. Of Iacke and Iohn 40. Of wrestlyng 41. Of pryde 42. Of one hanged 43. Of a dettar 44. Of ●ouyng of a goose 45. Of harpe strynges 46. Of Fortune 47. Of choyse 48. Of a false bragge 49. Of lying and true saiyng 50. Of a dawe pate 51. Of water and wyne 52. Betweene dogges and a deere 53. Of twelue and one 54. Of verdingales 55. Preceptes of a man to his wyfe 56. Of a man expert 57. Of deliuerance from yll 58. Of cuttyng of the herbe tyme. 59. Of one fearyng the swette 60. Of one thynkyng on an other 61. Of one beyng at a poynte 62. Of Testons 63. Of red Testons 64. Of stampyng 65. Of Iohn long the carier 66. Of turnyng 67. Of maister Carter 68. Of goyng farre 69. How money is made lame 70. Of an olde wooer 71. Of a young wooer 72. Of weakenesse and strength 73. Warnyng of pryde 74. Of pacience 75. Of pleasyng 76. Of a handgoon and a hande 77. Of Brasse and Syluer 78. A difference betwene wyse men and fooles 79. Of a pythye wyt 80. Of choyse to be a wyse man or a foole 81. Of a knights carterly coller 82. Of males and male horses 83. A man discommended 84 Of runnyng 85. Of pollyng 86. Of plate lent foorth 87. Of a man of lawe and his wyfe 88. Of pennes and pence 89. Of a womans thinne tunge 90. Of drynkyng to a man 91. Of runnyng at Tylte 92. Of expence 93. Of fraiyng of babes 94. Of reedes and okes 95. Of biyng a morter 96. Of a stepmother 97. Of a lyer 98. Of tunges and pynsons 99. Of Heywood 100. FINIS Epigrammes Of weenynge and wottinge 1. Wyse men in olde tyme wold weene thē selues fooles Fooles now in newe tyme will weene thē selues wise Weene wise and wot wise differ in wyse schooles To weene them selues wyse when fooles so deuyse As foolyshe as frutelesse is thenterpryse This case is thus adiudgde in wisedomes schoole who weenth him selfe wise wisoome wotth him a foole Made by Iohn Heywood to these fooles euerychone And made of Iohn Heywood whē he weenth him selfe none Of a man of sawe and his clientes 2. Twentie clientes to one man of lawe For counsell in twentie matters did drawe Ethe one praiyng at one instant to speede As all at once wolde haue speede to proceede Freendes all ꝙ the learned man ile speake with none Tyll one barber haue shauen all one by one To a barber they went all togyther And beyng shauen they returnde againe thyther Ye haue quoth the lawyer taryde longe hence Sir quoth one twentie coulde not be shauen sence ▪ Of one barber for ye well vnderstande One barber can haue but one shauyng hande Nor one lawier quoth he but one talkyng tung Learne clientꝭ this lesson of this lawier sprung Like as the barber one after one must shaue So clyentes of counsailours counsaile must haue An aduise against mockyng 3. Vse to thy true freende no derision If thy freende spie it he takth it poyson Though thy freend dissemble thespyall cleerely Yet spyde in a freende it toucheth him neerely Tellyng thy freende his faute mockyng him not If he thanke the not then is he a sot Of itchynge and smartynge 4. Ytchyng and smartyng both towch vs at quicke When we ytche we scratch when we smart we kicke But in our kyckyng at our present smarte Let vs consyder our former desarte Of a sharpe tunge 5. Wyfe I perceiue thy tunge was made at Egeware Ye syr and yours made at Raylye harde by thare Of a horse 6. A Tylte horse alias a beere horse to bee Whiche woludst thou bee a beere horse I say to thee When the horse is seene cheerely to drawe the beere He is so praysde that he may be proude to heere At Tylte when the horse runthe as fast as he can All crye well runne not to the horse to the man And if the horse fall with the man ouerlade Then crye they all a vengeance on that lame iade Of a butler and a horse 7. The butler and the beere horse both be lyke one They drawe beere bothe that is a truth to byde one Bothe drawe beere in deede but yet they dyffer Ione y e butler drawth drinkth beere the horse drinkth none Of brasse 8. I perceiue well now that brasse is waxen proude Because brasse so muche with syluer is aloude And beyng both toynde sins they most by brasse stande That makth brasse bolde to stande on the vpper hande Of a louces dwellinge place 9. Were thou a louce shouldst chose one dwelling