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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A13461 A iuniper lecture With the description of all sorts of women, good, and bad: from the modest to the maddest, from the most civil, to the scold rampant, their praise and dispraise compendiously related. Also the authors advice how to tame a shrew, or vexe her. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1639 (1639) STC 23766; ESTC S111401 39,881 238

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a Widow above five dayes but a Shoo-maker would needs know the length of my foote I remember hee came to me upon a Munday perswading mee it was one of St. Hughs Holy-dayes by whose Bones with the ayde of Saint Crispian hee swore hee would have me alasse I being a weake woman seeing his boldnesse I had no power to hold out so the next day we got a Licence and were married out to see what a sudden alteration was befalne me thinke a Woman could never have chanced upon two husbands of such different qualities for as the Taylor was adicted to Bread the Shoo-maker was altogether for Drink the one was a pint of small Beere and 3. penny loaves and the other was a dozen Pots and a Halfe-penny crust Indeed I thinke he got our House-rent and part of our bread by stretch ing and gnawing his Leather with his teeth but for his drinke hee could hardly bring both ends together at the yeares end Truely he was a very proper man but for his face and for the King of Good-fellowes hee was worth his weight in burnt Silke but within 2. yeares Death came upon him and with a Habeus Corpus brought him from his Aule to his Last but before he dyed he was as leane as any Rake for hee was a small eater and you know that all drinke or swill and wash and no Graines will never fatten a Hogge He being laid sa●e in his Grave I was almost a forenight before I could perceive any wooer or Love-struck Suiter to make towards me I mus'd and griev'd at such a neglect at that time for I tell you daughters I then thought my selfe as fine as the proudest and I am sure I was as proud as the finest and esteemed my penny to be as good Silver as the best of them at the fortnights end of my second Widow-hood to drive away griefe I would sometimes see a Play and heare a Beare-baiting whereas a handsome formall Bearded man made roome to sit downe by him and he tooke such good notice of my Civillity in laughing at the sport that indeed Love strucke him to the heart with the glaunces of mine eyes in such sort as within short space we met at a Taverne where with a Contract we made our selves as sure as Sacke and Sugar could tye us in a Word the Marriage was ended and Giblets were joyn'd as we thought to both our contents but all is not Gold that glisters and oftentimes a faire morning doth usher a foule day as it happened with us for my Husband being a Merchant and Free of the Worshipfull Company of Haber dashers of Small Wit within halfe a yeare after we were Married he appear'd like a Venice Glasse that had falne from a Taverne Table in a drunken Fray for it is to bee noted that a Merchant a Glasse are much like in quality and altogether contrary to an Egge or a Iest for the Glasle or the Merchant are stark naught when they are broken and the Egge or Iest are never good so long as they are whole My Husband being thus unhappily crack'd tooke up a strong Lodging for his safe keeping and became a Courtier to King Lud but after sixe Moneths Imprisonment hee made a shift to winde himselfe out by compounding with his Creditors for seven groats in the pound and being at liberty and most plentifully stored with neither credit Coyne means or friends he fortuned to be in a place whereas a Statute Book lay negligently behind a Curtaine in a window which he without any leave or knowledge to the Right owner borrowed and closely carried away under his Cloake upon which book he would bee continually poaring and reading so that by his industrious study he found how wickedly the penall Statutes were broken every day a thousand times whereuppon he resolved seeing all Trades fail'd to turne Informer or as ignorant fooles tearme it who know not what they say Promouter in a word my Husband was so witty by his practise in that good Booke he made a shift to get a bad living hee was a terrible Termagant against Tavernes Ale-houses Cookes and victulers for dressing Flesh in Lent or fasting dayes and they being in his danger would compound with him and give him mony under-hand by which meanes they had that convenience to dresse what and when they would and frothy curtall Kans bumbasted fomy Iuggs squirting blacke Pots or any villanous unlawfull measures were winked at with my good mans Cum Privilegio but at last hee was found out and the reverend Grave Iudges for his compounding and winking did so cleare his eye-sight that they made him looke and see perfectly through an Inch Boord for he was mounted on a Market-day on the Pillory and part of his faults written in his Fore-head and after he was degraded and made uncapable to be worthy to undoe anybody by Information for his word was never more to passe for currant His paines being past I know not by what chance but he got a pocky blow with a French Cowlestaffe and gave up the Ghost in an Hospitall He being Dead was much bemoan'd for indeed he did as much good here whilst he liv'd and was as necessary a member as the fifth Wheele in a Coach It was my Fortune within one moneth to marry with one Achitophel Little-good in which match wee were both cozened for he tooke mee for a rich Widow and I was in great hope that his Bags were linde with Gold and Silver Rubbish but it fell out otherwayes for hee was as poore as any boasting Knave neede to bee for hee owed for the very Cloaths that hee wore and so we two being both in one case had most plentifull store of hunger and ease and yet though hee had neither meanes or Trade hee was so diligent to looke out that he would make hard shift to be drunke almost every night and then when he came home hee would most familiarly and lovingly kicke mee calling me Whore and many other pretty Sirnames and sometimes he would play with my haire winding it about his fist and kindly draw mee by it all about the house and withall sometimes he would embrace mee in great affection out of his owne good Nature with a Wand a Cudgell or a Ropes end I being as then not very old began to take these kindnesses to heart and to requite him I would walke as well as hee stay abroad as late insomuch that for my better maintenance I Traded so well and had such good commings in that I made him weare an invisible Cuckooes Feather in his Cap and if occasion had beene he could have made Hay with his head as well as with a Pitchforke and I would raise my voyce to him in the chiding vaine that all the house street would have rung of it for I had a very shrill high voice I would talke on purpose to no purpose but to vexe him for women are not bound to speake sence to