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A63547 The true London prophet. Or, Comical remarkes, and predictions for the future part of this year, 1699 Infalibly fortelling what will certainly happen (whither the stars will or no) both in court, city and countrey, betwixt this and Whit-Sunday next, to which is added a discovery of many pritty intrigues that will be used among the noble society of distilers, and other traders. Also some brief touches upon the humours, and conversations of the town beau's, and city misse's, with varity of other merry and pleasent circumstances respecting these times. Being very diverting to all, and hurtful to none. R. B. 1699 (1699) Wing T2733C; ESTC R208924 4,155 4

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The true London Prophet OR Comical Remarkes and Predictions for the future part of this Year 1699. Infalibly fortelling What will Certainly happen whither the Stars will or no both in Court City and Countrey betwixt this and Whit-Sunday next To which is added A Discovery of many pritty Intrigues that will be used among the noble Society of Distilers and other Traders Also some brief touches upon the Humours and Conversations of the Town Beau's and City Misse's with varity of other merry and pleasent Circumstances respecting these Times Being very diverting to all and hurtful to None London Printed for the Author next Door to the Sign of the want of Money in Dull-Trade-Yard To the Courtuous not Carping Reader HEre 's no Speaking Dragon or Weather-Cock-Steeple Nor talkative Monkeys to frighten the People No Tygars nor Wolves that do speak without reason Such words as some Folkes do count damnable Treason Nor no barking Bull-Doggs to put us in fear But the plain Naked Truth that will happen this Year You may Read the Book o'er for no Factions are here Here 's nothing of Chamberlins going to 'th Dutch What Money he Carried 'em little or much Nor Nothing of state affairs here will I write For fear of the Plague of a Dam'd Jacobite But hold I 'll no longer keep you at Door Peep into the House and so view it all o're If you do but buy it I care for no more Yours R. B. Predictions for the Year 1699. AS sure as Knavry has got the start Honesty Poverty and Prid this Summer will Hand in Hand and many will terribly pinch their Bellies to adorn their Backs and other tumble with great willingness on their Backs to pleas their Bellies Whoreing will be much rail'd against in our Churches but never more practised in Chambers and many London Prentices will be forced this Year to eat Suffolk Cheese to advance their Master Daughters to the Boarding-School Honesty will be reduced to a very low Condition and be forced tug many a Knave by the sleeve to put him in mind of his promise but in vain and Vertue in plain dresse will be force'd to pin up Vices fine Gown for a Livlihood Justice will be in many Men's Mouthes but in few Men's Hearts we shall hear often of her name but know not where to find her and where she ought to Dwell we shall not dare to look for her This Year will a rise sharp disputes among Prentice Boys Chamber-Maids and Cook Maids about Gipsies and Astrologers which of them tells Fortunes truest and after a great many nice Arguments pro's and cons c. it will be decided in favour of the Saffron coloured Deviners because they dispatch their Business soonest and for less Money The Malice of Law Adversaries will be pretty well aswaged when the Term's over the long Bills of Attornies and Petty-foggers will make them agree to call themselves Fools and their Lawyers Knaves and will make a promise to renounce the Law for the future as good Christians do the Devil and all his Works Those Sparks who cuold not purchas new Choathes at Easter will be glad to have them at Whitston tide and if they miss of 'em then as I am sure a great many will Especially Women they 'll go near to beare them in their minds nine Monthes after a great deal of Money will this Summer be vainly flung-away on Wine and Women and such like alluring Commodites by many boisterous Youngsters who have a bundance more Welth than Wit but they ●ll in a little time so order the matter that they 'll bring them both to an equal Ballance Many a hopeful and pretty Young Maid will go a mile or two out of 〈◊〉 own in the Hollydays and forgetting herself will lose that in few minits which she 'll never find again as long as she Livers Lotteries and loose Lives will multiply exceedingly this Year till they both become the only Pick-pockets of this Age tho with this difference the former will do it with your Consent and the latter without it Every Gardener will shortly be as busso as Father Adam in Paradice to turn Horse-Dung into Raddshies and Ram's Horn's into Sparrowgrass Ay and will be verry angry too if any of the Family shall presume to lay a sirs R ce ●ut of his own Ground insomuch that abundance of Dung-hills a'rather side the ●ater will be mightily improved to raise a Summers feast but the first of ●heir course must be sauce for my Lady Many Citizens with Jealous hearts and horned-heads will this Summer be tormented with Curtain Lectures for New Gowns Petticoats and other fine Nick-knacks and if there Wives request be not granted they shall be lead as bad a Life as a sturdy Beggar in the House of Correction Those who have bucksom Young Daughters must this Year take care to provide them Husbands or else Guid them with a very strit rein otherwise the active motion of the Spirits this Spring season will beget such an itch in their Tails that will make them Door on your Apprentices or which is much worse suffer their heels to be trip●t up by their serving Men the first oppertunity Punks that are poor will begin to dread the Approaching dismal Summer for Consequently an Empty Town soon produces Emty Purses and want of Money the worst of in fam for she that had the Honour to be Debauch'd by a Duke may in a little time except the kind influence of her Stars prevent it be kick't by his Foot-Man or be glad to be kiss'd by a Porter For many a topping Lass now at Guinea purchase will dwindle from her Veluet-Scarff into Rusty Lute-string and will willingly be at a Coach-Man's service for a cast of his Ofice and a Quarten of Brandy and think it a good Eveing work We shall certainly hear of great strife between the Pawn-Broker and Tally-Man about their Honesly tho both in th●is Dealings according to Custom● will strive who should run first to the Devil Head-long Farmers like their Corn now begin to prick up their Ears tho they Labour between the passion of hope and fear and pray as often for a dry hirvest as the just Man Sins in a day and when he has it in his Born he will chuse raither to let the Mice and Weavells eat it than the poor should have it at a reasonable price More Trades Men will be seen playing in the fields espcinlly Weavers then working in their Shops he that hath Money may spend it with much pleasure and he that hath none may sleep under a Hedge without any danger of having his Pocket pick●d Weavers as well as Jouray men Taylors will be glad to make many a meal of Cucumbers this Summer or else go to Lambs-Cunduict and Drink a health to Duke Humphrey and intreat Providence upon their bended Knees to take a way their Stomachs or send them a shower of Bread and Cheese for tho perhaps meat may be pritty Cheep yet