THE THEATER OF THE Popes Monarchie Wherein is described as well the vncleane Liues of that wicked generation as also their Antichristian gouernment and vsurped kingdome Togeather with their horrible Superstition and blasphemous religion as it is now vsed at this present where Antichrist the Pope his members do beare rule By Phillip Stubbes Imprinted at London by Thomas Dawson 1585. To the right Honorable Robert Lord Ritche his singular good Lorde and Moecenas Philippe Stubbes wisheth all prosperitie in this life with increase of Honour and eternall felicitie in the heauenly Hyerarchie by Iesus Christ. IN the Gospell after S. Matthewe right honorable and my very good Lorde oure Sauioure Christ teacheth vs most notably how to knowe and discerne false Prophetes from such as bee the true Pastours Ambassadours of Iesus Christ when he saith They shall come vnto you in sheepes clothing but inwardly they are rauening wolues you shal know thē by their fruites Then if the fruites of conuersation bee the ensignes the badges and cognizances to know false Prophets by as our sauiour sayth they are thē surely may we iudge nay certainly perswade our selues that the Papistes are those false Prophets Apostataes and seducers which the word of God speaketh of as in the further discourse of this booke shall manifestly appeare for not only do their works fruits conuince them heereof but also their false seditious erronious and heretical doctrine doth argue the same But they will easilye wipe away this blot and saye that we are those false Prophets of whom Christ speaketh of To whom I answeare let their workes and doctrine bee compared to ours and bothe peyzed in the equall ballance of Gods worde the onely touchstone to trie all controuersies by and then shall it easilye appeare whether they or wee are the false Prophetes Doe not they come vnto vs in sheeps cloathing I meane in suche habite as portendeth all kinde of austeritie humilitie and holinesse of life outwardlye as namelye in their Surplesses Copes Tippets forked Cappes Miters Hattes Crosiers Hoodes Cowles Tunicles Sandals Shirtes of hayre and a thousande other like playerlike garmentes yea and doe they not teache that all holinesse consisteth in these ragges Is not this to come in sheepes cloathing But they will obiect if thys bee so why doe you weare some of these garmentes I aunsweare wee haue some of them in deede but that is vppon sufferaunce and permission onely not vppon constrainte or necessitie as theirs are Besides ours is commaunded by a Christian Queene and therefore lawefull theirs by Antichriste and therefore vnlawfull Againe we vse them as things indifferent they as things of necessitie we repose no religion in them they relye holy vpon them And for theyr doctrine it is so erronious so corrupte so seditious nay so blasphemous and Sacrilegious that it would greeue a Christian manne to thinke of it As Prayer for the dead Iustification by good works Purgatorie Limbo Patrum Inherēt Rightuousnesse Inuocation to Saincts Transubstantiation Adoration of Images their seuen coūterfait Sacramentes extreeme vnctiō christening of Bels hallowing of churches churchyardes makinge of holy bread holy water Auricular confesion shrift penāce absolutiō masse mattēs diriges Lady Psalters tapers candles bedes censings ringings perfuminges legions of like trūperies which the word of God knoweth not of al which pointes of doctrin of theirs I wil intreat in a book by it self god willing very shortly wherin shal appeare whether they or we haue y e truth This is their godly doctrin which ther it com nerer to the word of God or ours let the world iudge And yet notwithstanding they set a faire face on it they stamp and stare beare the world in hand that theirs is the truth For say they our doctrine standeth vpon sure pillers antiquitie vniuersalitie generalitie the like Our doctrine is proued by discent of Bishops from time to time by consent of all nations and so foorth but your doctrine is newe and starte vppe the laste day c. But whether theirs or ours bee the newer it shall appeare in the discourse following First wee are able to proue that our doctrine is auncienter then theirs ye as auncient as God himselfe whose truth it is And first to begin with the diuine institution in Paradice wee reade that God the father gaue vnto Adam his word commandement to wit Thou shalt not eat◠of the tree of knowledge of good and euil ingrauing and as it were imprinting this word commandement in the heart of Adam and in him in all his posteritie By the which lawe of conscience then liued almost 2000. yeeres without any other law or word written being guided directed by the holy Ghost in all their actions the 2000. yeares being ended men waxing dissolute licentious wicked y e Lorde as Theophilactus witnesseth disdayning to speake to them any longer by his spirit for that they became wicked gaue thē a Lawe for before they hadde no written Lawe God appearing to them I meane the fathers and Patryarches in visions in apparitions in dreames sometime in the forme of angels waifaring men sometime in one shape sometime in an other according as their weakenesse could beare written by the finger of God in two tables of stone which is the x. commaundements Then Moses at the commandement of God committing to writing the x. commandements with his other fiue books as he was taughte and directed by the suggestion of the spirit of God ruled the Israelites thereby The old testament being thus written by the seruant of God Moses his faithful prophets at the commandement of God continued in force til the cōming of Christ which was in effect 2000. yeeres after Thē our sauiour Iesus Christ cōming in the flesh gaue in commandement to his Euangelists Apostles and prophets to write the new testamēt which they by the direction of gods spirit did most happily perform These 2. testaments now the old the new God be thāked we haue Now let the papists disproue this if they can or if they haue any other Gospell let thē bring it forth They cānot deny but we haue the same word of god which God the father our sauiour Christe the holy ghost haue giuen to the woorlde this being graunted it must needs folow that our doctrine is true theirs most false Now let them deriue their antichristian doctrine lineally from suche antiquitie truth as this if they can but that they shall neuer bee able to do For their doctrine hath bin longer in patching then Solomons temple was in building Yea within these x or xii hundred yeeres there was not a scrap of their pesteferous doctrine coyned no the egg was not thē laid that hatched that poisoned Cocatrice Then the truth of gods word throgh the iniquitie of time beginning by little little to suffer eclipse at the last sprang vp such mountaines of heresies corruptiōs cast out of the bottomles
times aboute the Church casting therof vpon the walles of the Churche as he goeth Than hauing gone thrise aboute the Churche in this order hee commeth to the Church-dore and knocking three times on the dore with his staffe saith these woordes of the Psalme Lift vp your gates c. as though a whole legion of Diuelles were within the Church Then commeth me Master clark and in the name of all the Diuels he saith what king is hee that thus dareth knocks at these gates And straight way as though the Diuels gaue place the Clarke openeth the doores and the bishop entreth wyth a fewe others who are thought worthye to beholde such mysteries Being then come into the Churche first of all hee calleth vppon Saints and Images crosseth and blesseth euery thyng that he seeth or commeth neere The Churche floore also beeing strowed ouer withe ashes or els with sande â—â—e first maketh crosses thereon then letters in Latine Greeke and Hebrewe whereof hee nothing vnderstandeth what they meane no more then the manne in the Moone Then falleth hee to coniuring of newe holy water for now the old hath lost his force wyth wyne Salte and Ashes intermixt This doone hee proceedeth too hallowe the Altare and hauing first made twelue crosses theron he annointeth it with oyle and chrisme rounde about after thys hauyng set vpon euery corner of the Altar a great manye of crosses he besprynckleth it all ouer with his new made holy water neuer ceasing but ietting about it 7. times and as many times sprinkling it with holy water as before In the middest of the Altar is a foure square hole hewed out by great art representyng the Sepulchre thys hee annoyteth wyth chrysme and oyle with a thousande crosses on euery side In thys Sepulchre hee layeth his reliques hys Frankensence and hys geare Thus all thynges done in order and annoynted with Oyle and Chrisme be-sprynkled with holy water and crossed on euery side hee endeth his Pageant and departeth And thus much concernyng the hallowing of Churches and churchyards Phil. This is a wonderful enterlude indeed the sight of this woulde make a Dogge too cast his gorge I pray you what Ceremonies vseth thys Suffragane in giuing of orders The Manner of popish orders giuing and what Ceremonies are obserued in the same Stuperius FIrst of all the Suffragane Bishoppe being come in place cloathed in his pontificalibus euery one that is too bee made Priest is called particularly by name who standing all vpon a cluster or heape together clad in their long albes the bishop asketh whether they be good and vertuous men and of sufficiencâ—e able to take vpoÌ„ them that high calling The officer greased in the fist before answereth that they are learned able sufficient men and yet he neuer knewe them in all his life nor yet so much as euer sawe or heard of them before Then is ther a candle a candlestick brought from the high Altar to the Acolouth with instruction giuen them that their office is continually to light candles in the Church and to beare them aboute This done than is there an emptie cup brought and put into their handes with lessons giuen to them that their office is too giue wyne too the Priest at hys masse which they doe not yet is their crowne shorn for it neither it is lawful for them euer after to weare hayre there any more After this mayster Coniurer the Bishop receiueth the bookâ— and deliuereth it to the new Priestes commaundyng them to learne it by heart by power and veritie thereof to cast out Diuels Than is the booke carryed againe to the hygh altarâ— the Priest neuer reading one worde of it beeing deliuered him clasped and yet is he commanded to get it by hearte and to caste out Diuels with the same Then is deliuered him the tastament in token that hee ought to preache the same truly too the people whiche thing neyther hee their great grandsire the Pope nor any of them all do perfourme Next after this there are deliuered vntoo them the keyes of the Churche dores togeather with ropes of Hempe in token that their office is too shut fast the dores too driue out the Dogs out of the Churche and to keepe the Churche and al the holy Reliques fayre cleane Then is there oyle brought wherewith euery Priest hath his head his fingers and thumbes oyled and greased In the doing whereof is great heed taken least any of the oyle shoulde chaunce to drop â—owne vpon the grounde for that were a haynous offence And therefore the Suffragan Bishoppe and the Priestes they spounge they wipt they rubbe and drye their fingers their head all wonderfull to beholde And for feare of the worst they scoure their fingers head wyth ashes or sande to the ende that all the holy oyle may be dryed vp and none spilt For further securitie whereof because they will bee sure that 〈◊〉 shall be spilt they send for hot bread from the oâ—en which being carryed to the â—olye Altar 〈…〉 they apply it too theyr heads and fingers that they maye be sure the 〈◊〉 of their farred oyle is 〈◊〉 Whiche 〈◊〉 the Bishoppe and Priestes departe and so endethe the play Phile. What is the order obserued in Christening of Belles and what ceremonies doth he vse therein The order and maner of christening of Belles with the ridiculous ceremonies vsed there in by the papists Stuperius WHen the◠〈◊〉 disposed to christen any Bell first of all there in warnyng therof giuen in the church good while befoâ—e the day appointed which day being come the people â—â—ock thicke and threefold to see this commedie played The godfathers godmothers also being warned before by the churchwardens are present in all the best apparrell that they haue Besides whom you shall haue 2. or 3. 〈◊〉 present euery one striuing contending who shall bee godfathers godmothers to the bell supposing it a woÌ„derful preferment a marueilous promotioÌ„ singuler credit so to be Thus all things made readie the bishop in all his masking geare commeth foorth like a coniuring iugler and hauing made holy water with salt and other sibbersause he sprinkleth all things with the same as a thing of an vnspeakable force And althogh it be at noone dayes yet must he haue his tapers burning round about on euery side then kneeling downe hee very solemnely desireth the people to pray that God wold vouchsafe to graunt to this Bell a blessed and happie Christendom and withall a lustie sounde to driue away diuels and 〈…〉 against all kinde of peril and â—â—â—â—peâ—s whatsoeuer This prayer ended the Bishop â—â—mâ—yuteth the bell in 〈…〉 plaâ—s with oyle and chrisme mumblyng 〈◊〉 himselfe certaine coniuratâ—ons exorcismes whiche no man heareth but he alone and yet doe all meÌ„ vnderstande iâ— as well as hee Then commandeth hee the godfathers godmothers
blasphemie superstition and olde wiues tales tending to vanity leading to vntruth And to the end that they may the deepelier roote Idolatry and superstition in the peoples hearts they haue framed theÌ„ a booke called the Popish portesse full of moste horrible blasphemye fables and â—yes whereto they are so neerely tied that they thynke it an offence inexpiable too dygresse an ynche from the same Phile. What manner of Sermons doe these lustye parsons make adayes Stupe Excellent Sermons I warraÌ„t you for some spend the time whilest he is in the pulpit in railing scolding like queanes some in shewing what wroÌ„g they haue done theÌ„ what slanders they haue sustained what tithes duties they haue loste Some prophesie what shalbee deare what good cheape what shalbe plenty what scarce what weather shal happen al times seasoÌ„s of the yere Othersom fil the peoples eares in shewing them of the popes wars the emperors wars the Turks warres a thousand such like toyes and noueltyes These Robin hoods sermoÌ„s ended there is brought a long bederoll of paper or parchment wherin are writ the names of infinite thousandes of men women and children departed all which beeyng openly read with a loude voyce are theÌ„ prayed for y â— they may escape the broyling fire of purgatorie This done too masse go they as round as a ball wherein are mo blasphemies errors abuses corruptions then there are sands in the sea starres in the skie or grasse vpon the face of the earth But that is no matter their stomacks are so wranke that they caÌ„ brook any thing To conclude masse beeing ended these Person Choploches galloppe as fast as they canne trudge towardes Dinner where howe dayntely they fare and howe well they fill theyr paunches all the worlde knoweth Phile. What exercises do they follow after dinner Stupe Dinner beeyng ended they go commonly to the alehouse for recreation or els to study you must imagyne where they carouse and drinke aboute till they prate like parrats and that like pies And for further recreation to passe the time away withall the goe to cards to dice too chesse tables and checquer where wanteth neyther drinking nor swearing nor any thing els that myght offend the maiestye of God And sometimes beeyng weary of these exercises they fall to talke of hawdry filthinesse scurrility and all kynde of vncleannes moste shamefull to heare And least the long wynter nights should seeme weaâ—â—some or irksome vnto them they haue 2. or 3. or as many whoores and harlots as they wil to lye by their sweet sides to solace themselues withal after long study of good ale and bawdry Thus hast thou heard the liues of the popish priests or parsons of the countrey with their offices exercises and abuses And heereof hitherto Phile. What say you of Monkes their doings I would very fain heare something of them what fellowes they be Of Monkes their order hipocrisie blasphemy superstition abuses Stuperius THey are such as forsake the world vtterly and betake them selues to a certaine kind of strait and aâ—stere life lyuing eyther in the wildernes or desard or els in monasteries and other relygious houses situate farre from hyghe wayes and deuâ—yde of company Theyr apparrell and habite as it is strange and monstrous nay apish and foolishe in fashion so is it of diuerse and sundrye colours They prescribe to themselues certaine very strict rules and orders to liue by through the obseruation wherof together with these works of merite and desert they trust to inherit the kingdom of heauen Which place if merits might purchase as they cannot why shuld not they haue it for they haue suche store of them that for money they wil sel you as manye as you list And sometimes for these their works of merite or as they please to cal them works of supererogation they haue benefices farmes granges castles towers yea whole towns couÌ„tries dukedomes giuen them as y e sundry donatioÌ„s of diuers kings dukes others in old time can testifie And no maruel their holines is very greate for doe they not chaunt vp Psalmes in the quier like hogs in y e stalâ— do they not rore in the church like the fat â—uls of Basan do they not fast pray do many good works And yet for all that are they not worth a straw For notwithstaÌ„ding their fast and abstinence from certaine meats they wil be sure to eat twise at the least the shortest winters day that is When at dinner they giuâ— vppe their paunches withall kind of dainties so as their bellies swelling like ticks or horseliches their girdles are fain to bee loosed that their guttes maye haue more scope at these fastinge meales they will bee sure too haue all kynde of fishe all kinde of spices al maner of wines of the best yet notwithstaÌ„ding these felows fast to yea merit greatly therby but whether this be a true fasting or not both Bacchus Milo Apitius themselues princes of drunkennesse and gluttonye I thinke will deny Thus through theyr hypocrisy and counter feit holinesse they haue a longe time so bewitched the world y e euen kings themselues dukes Lordes and others all in generall haue not onely thought them wondrous holy menne but also haue bought good workes and heauen it selfe of them for money Phile. Why doe they separate theÌ„selues from other men in that sorte liuing in the wildernes and desart Stupe They say they do it because the world being corrupt they would not be corrupe with the same and because it liueth in darknesse and they in the light Because they are holye and the worlde wycked they good and the worlde naught and therefore doe they flye from it Phile. These are vain allegations friuolous reasons for if the world bee corrupt as it is and sicke nay dead in sinne than hath it more need of the phisition to heale the same not to flie away And if the world be in darknesse then hath it more need of the light to shine amongst them And albeit that the worlde bee wicked may not they lyue godly in the same notwithstanding Did not Daniel many other Iewes in Babilon liue very godly amongst the wicked Did not Lot liue godly amongst the Sodomites Did not Ioseph liue godly in Egypte and many others And therfore their separating of theÌ„selues from the worlde for these causes is most superstitious vayne and ridiculous Stu. You say very well For although they pâ—â—â—eÌ„d that they forsake the world yet is it but metre hipocrisie and deceit for there are no men that liue more in the worlde nor of the worlde then they In so muche that there is no greate thinge anye where done or attempted but these Monkes bee at the one end of it In assemblyes for matters of pollicy â—oncerning the common wealth