Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
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A17343
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The first part of youths errors. Written by Thomas Bushel, the superlatiue prodigall
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Bushell, Thomas, 1594-1674.
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1628
(1628)
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STC 4187; ESTC S114222
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35,791
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180
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restore me soone after to my former traâ—quility and hauing recouered a seâ—sible feeling my oppressed heart dâ—sired to know whether his iudgements were so seuere as my apprehension led mee I suddenly maâ—â— to my poore caue God knowes â—th troubled thoughts for my coâ—â—tions were eyther drowning or â—â—cuting my selfe yet those assalts â—asily repulsed by Gods assisting â—â—mission with the president of Iuâ—â—â— and the like but then opening 〈◊〉 booke of the old and new Testaâ—ent there I found our first parent â—â—am whom God gaue dominion the whole world Gen. 3.17 yet for eating â—â—e apple forbidden though it was the intisement of another hee and â—â—s posteritie were extinguished for â—â—er Num. 20.27.33 Likewise Moses and Aaron notwithstanding they could obtaine â—â—y thing at Gods hands yet for that â—â—ey somewhat doubted of the miraâ—e promised by God they were deâ—tred for euer going into the land of promise 1. Sam. 15.17.18.23 Againe Saul whom 〈◊〉 chose to be the first King of his pâ—ple was degraded of his dignitie 〈◊〉 giuen ouer to the hands of an eâ—spirit for that he did but reserue so certaine spoiles of warre being comanded to the contrary Leuit. 10.2 Besides suddaine killing of Nadah and Abâ—â— sonnes of Aaron for once offering ther fire then was appointed thâ—â— The striking deade of Ananias 〈◊〉 Sapphira for onely retaining soâ—â— part of their owne goods by deceâ— from the Apostles Acts. 5.10 Likewise the iection of Cain and his linage foâ—â—uer straight vpon his murther Gen. 7.10 â—â—sides Beniamin the onely sonne of â—â—cob whom God loued so dearely Gen. 4.2 Iudg. 20. 〈◊〉 for one sinne that was committed Gibeah vpon the wife of a Leuâ— â—od destroyed almost the whole â—â—be of men women and children â—ith many other examples which â—aring to claime any alliance of Iues I surceased with repentance that I â—ad them O my deare brother that 〈◊〉 presumptuous sinners had felt the â—â—ck of my torture at the same instant â—â—ey would haue confessed in their earts that God is seuere and iust as â—e is infinitly mercifull yet my conâ—ience alwaies assured me hee neuer â—ft a sinner that desired truly to reâ—ent without a sinner forsooke him â—hich was some ease to my surcharâ—ed sufferings But the arch-enemy â—f man continued his Rhetorickes â—nd applications of despaire reueaâ—ng alwaies to my memory these â—nd the like herse-like sounding presidents of holy writ if the righteoâ— shall scarcely be saued where shall â— vngodly and sinner appeare 1. Pet. 4.17.18 and iudgement begin at the house of Goâ— what shall the expectation or end wicked men be howsoeuer I douted not in the mercy of my Sauioâ— but in my owne base and vnworthâ— demerits for that hee is certaineâ— faithfull Heb. 10.23 if I hold fast the professioâ— of my faith according to the measuâ— which he hath giuen me yet whâ— with Satans assaulting my sinnâ— afflicting and feare of not obtaâ—ning Gods fauour it transformed 〈◊〉 from what I was to the portraiâ—uâ— of an Anatomy as the Inhabâ—tants neere adioyning to the sayâ— Isle can witnesse For those thaâ— came to visit me out of charity pittied me and I in Christianity grieâ—ed as much for their ignorance which being by his sacred pleasure brought to deaths doore and readie to yeeld vp the ghost in a â—amentable spectacle betweene hope and despaire at last there appeared spirituall-wise an apparition of my own picture the prodigall sonne Luk. 15. without intermission to my soule and sences which did reflect so much internall comfort as a woman in the agonie of her paines ioies to see a manchilde borne into the world Iohn 16.21 and forgets her past sufferings euen so the dailie contemplation of this cordiall parable restored mee to that height of happinesse as it did more auert the dolour of griefe sorrow and despaire then all the felicity I receiued by presidents in the olâ— and new Testament but when my conscience assured me the first part of his life I had acted to my eternall destruction and that of necessity I must follow the second to obtaine my redemption otherwise it would prooue infortunate and fatall which hauing pondered vpon the imbecillitie of my owne nature the allurements of the world and continuall assaults of Sathan I feard it would prooue too strict a captiuitie for mee to passe thorow whereupon I pleaded our Sauiour died for all sinners yet my conscience answered it was for none but those which truelie beleeued him in their liues and vnfainedlie repented in their hearts which made mee rememâ—er the dreadfull saying of Christ himselfe Rom. 9.27 Few are the number that should be saued O affectionated Brother that all my prodigall expences had beene transformed into pious charities my former pleasures into penitent praiers and my vaine discourses into true confessions then had I not liued a diligent slaue to Sathan Iam. 5.16 but a dutifull seruant to my Sauiour which God knowes now the neglect of either so much sounds reprobate as makes me descend with a dolefull heart and alleadge my birthright by baptisme But like a soft aire it answered not elected by adoption reiterating to my perplexed thoughts the president â— infortunate Esau who found nâ— place of repentance Heb. 12.17 though he sought it carefullie with teares But when at last I read the feare full saying of our Sauiour Maniâ— were called Mat. 20.10 but few were chosen O what an immortall wound â— gaue me for my decrepit hopâ— enforced me to curse conception birth life wishing the plague of Egypt had beene my copartners rather than those deceitfulâ— pleasures my companions which made mee so incapable of creation redemption and election I thus continued in this wofull spectacle for the space of two daies not caring to minister either rest or nourishment to my wearisome body but did wholly contemplate on my forlornd estate sayâ—ng to my selfe How should I know whether I bee elected or not The spirit answered either by a good life or true repentance which vpon examination was small comfort to me hauing neither performed the one nor endeuoured the other Whereupon finding my selfe by the allurements of Sathan vanities of the world and frailties of nature brought into so desperate wretched and dangerous case that if I did not forsake my selfe there was no saluation but damnation notwithstanding his death and passion which coniured mee by Gods permission faithfullie to resolue to discard all pleasures doubts scruples or feares and wholly depend vpon the sweet saying of our Sauiour Esay 1.18 Though my sinnes were as red as scarlet yet hee would make them as white as snow if so be my repentance proceed from contrition of heart during life otherwise I might feare mistrust despayre for I should much robâ— God of his iustice in dependingâ— vpon his mercy Ioh. 15.22 Psal 85.10 and damne myâ— soule with presuming on his fauour when himselfe protesteth they both kisse each other