Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
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Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
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A17343
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The first part of youths errors. Written by Thomas Bushel, the superlatiue prodigall
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Bushell, Thomas, 1594-1674.
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1628
(1628)
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STC 4187; ESTC S114222
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35,791
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180
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restore me soone after to my former traâquility and hauing recouered a seâsible feeling my oppressed heart dâsired to know whether his iudgements were so seuere as my apprehension led mee I suddenly maââ to my poore caue God knowes âth troubled thoughts for my coââtions were eyther drowning or ââcuting my selfe yet those assalts âasily repulsed by Gods assisting ââmission with the president of Iuâââ and the like but then opening ãâã booke of the old and new Testaâent there I found our first parent ââam whom God gaue dominion the whole world Gen. 3.17 yet for eating ââe apple forbidden though it was the intisement of another hee and ââs posteritie were extinguished for ââer Num. 20.27.33 Likewise Moses and Aaron notwithstanding they could obtaine âây thing at Gods hands yet for that ââey somewhat doubted of the miraâe promised by God they were deâtred for euer going into the land of promise 1. Sam. 15.17.18.23 Againe Saul whom ãâã chose to be the first King of his pâple was degraded of his dignitie ãâã giuen ouer to the hands of an eâspirit for that he did but reserue so certaine spoiles of warre being comanded to the contrary Leuit. 10.2 Besides suddaine killing of Nadah and Abââ sonnes of Aaron for once offering ther fire then was appointed thââ The striking deade of Ananias ãâã Sapphira for onely retaining soââ part of their owne goods by deceâ from the Apostles Acts. 5.10 Likewise the iection of Cain and his linage foââuer straight vpon his murther Gen. 7.10 ââsides Beniamin the onely sonne of ââcob whom God loued so dearely Gen. 4.2 Iudg. 20. ãâã for one sinne that was committed Gibeah vpon the wife of a Leuâ âod destroyed almost the whole ââbe of men women and children âith many other examples which âaring to claime any alliance of Iues I surceased with repentance that I âad them O my deare brother that ãâã presumptuous sinners had felt the ââck of my torture at the same instant ââey would haue confessed in their earts that God is seuere and iust as âe is infinitly mercifull yet my conâience alwaies assured me hee neuer âft a sinner that desired truly to reâent without a sinner forsooke him âhich was some ease to my surcharâed sufferings But the arch-enemy âf man continued his Rhetorickes ând applications of despaire reueaâng alwaies to my memory these ând the like herse-like sounding presidents of holy writ if the righteoâ shall scarcely be saued where shall â vngodly and sinner appeare 1. Pet. 4.17.18 and iudgement begin at the house of Goâ what shall the expectation or end wicked men be howsoeuer I douted not in the mercy of my Sauioâ but in my owne base and vnworthâ demerits for that hee is certaineâ faithfull Heb. 10.23 if I hold fast the professioâ of my faith according to the measuâ which he hath giuen me yet whâ with Satans assaulting my sinnâ afflicting and feare of not obtaâning Gods fauour it transformed ãâã from what I was to the portraiâuâ of an Anatomy as the Inhabâtants neere adioyning to the sayâ Isle can witnesse For those thaâ came to visit me out of charity pittied me and I in Christianity grieâed as much for their ignorance which being by his sacred pleasure brought to deaths doore and readie to yeeld vp the ghost in a âamentable spectacle betweene hope and despaire at last there appeared spirituall-wise an apparition of my own picture the prodigall sonne Luk. 15. without intermission to my soule and sences which did reflect so much internall comfort as a woman in the agonie of her paines ioies to see a manchilde borne into the world Iohn 16.21 and forgets her past sufferings euen so the dailie contemplation of this cordiall parable restored mee to that height of happinesse as it did more auert the dolour of griefe sorrow and despaire then all the felicity I receiued by presidents in the olâ and new Testament but when my conscience assured me the first part of his life I had acted to my eternall destruction and that of necessity I must follow the second to obtaine my redemption otherwise it would prooue infortunate and fatall which hauing pondered vpon the imbecillitie of my owne nature the allurements of the world and continuall assaults of Sathan I feard it would prooue too strict a captiuitie for mee to passe thorow whereupon I pleaded our Sauiour died for all sinners yet my conscience answered it was for none but those which truelie beleeued him in their liues and vnfainedlie repented in their hearts which made mee rememâer the dreadfull saying of Christ himselfe Rom. 9.27 Few are the number that should be saued O affectionated Brother that all my prodigall expences had beene transformed into pious charities my former pleasures into penitent praiers and my vaine discourses into true confessions then had I not liued a diligent slaue to Sathan Iam. 5.16 but a dutifull seruant to my Sauiour which God knowes now the neglect of either so much sounds reprobate as makes me descend with a dolefull heart and alleadge my birthright by baptisme But like a soft aire it answered not elected by adoption reiterating to my perplexed thoughts the president â infortunate Esau who found nâ place of repentance Heb. 12.17 though he sought it carefullie with teares But when at last I read the feare full saying of our Sauiour Maniâ were called Mat. 20.10 but few were chosen O what an immortall wound â gaue me for my decrepit hopâ enforced me to curse conception birth life wishing the plague of Egypt had beene my copartners rather than those deceitfulâ pleasures my companions which made mee so incapable of creation redemption and election I thus continued in this wofull spectacle for the space of two daies not caring to minister either rest or nourishment to my wearisome body but did wholly contemplate on my forlornd estate sayâng to my selfe How should I know whether I bee elected or not The spirit answered either by a good life or true repentance which vpon examination was small comfort to me hauing neither performed the one nor endeuoured the other Whereupon finding my selfe by the allurements of Sathan vanities of the world and frailties of nature brought into so desperate wretched and dangerous case that if I did not forsake my selfe there was no saluation but damnation notwithstanding his death and passion which coniured mee by Gods permission faithfullie to resolue to discard all pleasures doubts scruples or feares and wholly depend vpon the sweet saying of our Sauiour Esay 1.18 Though my sinnes were as red as scarlet yet hee would make them as white as snow if so be my repentance proceed from contrition of heart during life otherwise I might feare mistrust despayre for I should much robâ God of his iustice in dependingâ vpon his mercy Ioh. 15.22 Psal 85.10 and damne myâ soule with presuming on his fauour when himselfe protesteth they both kisse each other