Gentleman and that however Providence dispose of him no misfortune shall be able to induce his minde to any complacency in the disparagement of another Again The Pentateuch of Rabelais mentioned in the title page of the first book of this Translation being written Originally in the French Tongue as it comprehendeth some of its bruskest dialects with so much ingeniositie and wit that more impressions have been sold thereof in that language then of any other book that hath been set forth at any time within these fifteen hundred yeares so difficult neverthelesse to be turned into any other speech that many prime spirits in most of the Nations of Europe fince the yeare 1573. which was fourescore yeares ago after having attempted it were constrained with no small regret to give it over as a thing impossible to be done is now in its Translation thus farre advanced and the remainder faithfully undertaken with the same hand to be rendered into English by a Person of quality who though his lands be sequestred his house garrisoned his other goods sold and himself detained a Prisoner of warre at London for his having been at Worcester fight hath at the most earnest intreaty of some of his especial friends well acquainted with his inclination to the performance of conducible singularities promised besides his version of these two already published very speedily to offer up unto this Isle of Britaine the virginity of the Translation of the other three most admirable books of the aforesaid Author provided that by the plurality of judicious and understanding men it be not declared he hath already proceeded too farre or that the continuation of the rigour whereby he is dispossest of all his both real and personal estate by pressing too hard upon him be not an impediment thereto and to other more eminent undertakings of his as hath beene oftentimes very fully mentioned by the said Translatour in several original Treatises of his own penning lately by him so numerously dispersed that there is scarce any who being skilful in the English Idiome or curious of any new ingenious invention hath not either read them or heard of them The ERRATAES of the First Book Upon the margin of the first eight verses IXLX GPX PAge 13. line 11. for pray read pray'y p. 26. marg for fermele r. fermee p. 36. l. 22. for monocorsing r. monocordising p. 37. l. 19. for Seamsters r. Seamstresses forâ—orne â—orne r. carried p. 15. l. 25. for arswerâ—ie r. arsiversie p. 79. l. 18. for hoparymated r. hopurymated p. 90. l. 29. for pursley r. parsley p. 92. l. 5. for kiriele r. kiriels p. 107. l. 28. for sore r. fore p. 113. l. 21. for charantou r. charanton p. 123. l. 5. for Suedevede r. gue de vede p. 123. l. 16. for stussed r. stuffed p. 127. l. 5. for blade r. blades p. 149. l. 24. for entrance r. entrance there p. 157. l. 19. for marousle r. maroufle p. 159. l. 7. for feet r. foot p. 161. l. 25. for in ran him r. ran him in p. 176 l. 9. for elder tree r. alder-tree p. 177. l. 21. for mae vi r. ma vie p. 184. l. 22. for ough r. cough p. 186. l. 19. for sable r. shable p. 192. l. 8. for five r. six p. 196. l. 18. for vertebrae r. verteber p. 200. l. 15. for five r. six p. 201. l. 2. for argy and r. Argy this of St. Nazarand p. 224. l 16. for gnaw r. grow p. 242. l. 9. for sparrow-hawks r. sparhawks p. 251. l. 20. for they r. they 'l p. 253. l. 15. for lest r. lost The EKRATA of the Second Book PAge 4. of the Prologue line 17. for roll-roll-book r. jollie book p. 2. l. 19. for their regular r. the irregular p. 18. l. 3. for be the r. be they p. 26. l. 31. for bury r. burne p. 49. l. 14. for bumsquicbraker r. bumsquibcraker p. 77. l. 27. for thirst r. thrust p. 80. l. 22. for patains r. patins Mr. HUGH SALEL TO Rabelais IF profit mix'd with pleasure may suffice T' extoll an Authors worth above the skies Thou certainly for both must praised be I know it for thy judgement hath in the Contexture of this book set down such high Contentments mingled with utility That as I think I see Democritus Laughing at men as things ridiculous Insist in thy designe for though we prove Ungrate on earth thy merit is above THE AUTHORS Prologue MOst Illustrious and thrice valourous Champions Gentlemen and others who willingly apply your mindes to the entertainment of pretty conceits and honest harmlesse knacks of wit You have not long ago seen read and understood the great and inestimable Chronicle of the huge and mighty Gyant Gargantua and like upright Faithfullists have firmly beleeved all to be true that is contained in them and have very often past your time with them amongst Honourable Ladies and Gentlewomen telling them faire long stories when you were out of all other talk for which you are worthy of great praise and sempiternal memory and I do heartily wish that every man would lay aside his own businesse meddle no more with his Profession nor Trade and throw all affaires concerning himself behinde his back to attend this wholly without distracting or troubling his minde with any thing else until he have learned them without book that if by chance the Art of printing should cease or in case that in time to come all books should perish every man might truly teach them unto his children and deliver them over to his successors and survivors from hand to hand as a religious Cabal for there is in it more profit then a rabble of great pockie Loggerheads are able to discern who surely understand far lesse in these little merriments then the foole Raclet did in the institutions of Justinian I have known great and mighty Lords and of those not a few who going a Deer-hunting or a hawking after wilde Ducks when the chase had not encountred with the blinks that were cast in her way to retard her course or that the Hawk did but plaine and smoothly fly without moving her wings perceiving the prey by force of flight to have gained bounds of her have been much chafed and vexed as you understand well enough but the comfort unto which they had refuge and that they might not take cold was to relate the inestimable deeds of the said Gargantua There are others in the world These are no flimflam stories nor tales of a tub who being much troubled with the tooth-ache after they had spent their goods upon Physicians without receiving at all any ease of their pain have found no more ready remedy then to put the said Chronicles betwixt two pieces of linnen cloth made somewhat hot and so apply them to the place that smarteth synapising them with a little powder of projection otherwayes called doribus But what shall I say of those poor men that are plagued with the Pox and the Gowt O
THE WORKS Of the Famous Mr. FRANCIS RABELAIS DOCTOR in PHYSICK Treating of the Lives Heroick Deeds and Sayings of GARGANTUA And his Son PANTAGRUEL To which is newly added the Life of the AUTHOR Written Originally in French and Translated into English by Sr THOMAS VRCHARD K t. LONDON Printed for R. B. and are to be sold by Iohn Starkey at the Mitre betwixt the Middle Temple Gate and Temple Bar in Fleetstreet 1664. To the Reader I Need not to enter into the praises of the Book I present thee it shall suffice to tell you that all men of wit formerly made him their companion plac'd him in their Cabinets and read him in private No man was a good companion who had not Rabelais at his fingers ends and no feast did relish if not seasoned with the witty sayings of this Author and if the Book hath since been in less esteem â—tis that being ignorant of the several particulars in the History we do not so easily perceive the Satyrick wit and the defficulty of understanding many words â—essen's much the pleasure therefore dear Reader to make your divertisment more â—asy in the reading a Book the most faceâ—ious and witty that e're was pen'd I present him such as I found him in the oldâ—st and best impressions together with some observations upon the most remarkable passages of the History of his â—ime I have added the Authors life and some remarks upon the wittiest and â—leasantest tricks of this Gallant Man THE LIFE OF FRANCIS RABELAIS DOCTOR IN PHYSICK FRancis Rabelais was born in a little Town called Chinon in the Country of Touraine and was entâ—r'd a youth in the Convent of the Cordeliers oâ— Fontenay le Coâ—te in the lower Poictou and in a short time became aâ— able man witness Budaeus his Greek Epistles where he commends him for attaining the Master-ship of that Tongue yet deplores his misfortune for being envied by his companions who for a long time conceived ilâ— thoughts of him for his excellency in this language which they esteemed barbarous being not capable of reaching the sweetness thereof The like accident befel the learned Erasmus and the famous Rabanus Magnenâ—ius Maurus Lord Abbot of Fulde and Arch-Bishop of Mayence this man living at his Abbey composed several learned peeces of Poetry which begot the ill will of his Monks accusing him for applying himself too hard to sacred studyes and neglecting the encreasing of his temporal estate which caused him to retire unto the Court of Lewis King of Germany his Protector where his Monks acknowledging their fault and experiencing the loss of so excellent a person came and made him satisfaction humbly requesting him to take upon him the Administration of the Monastery which he refused To pursue Raâ—elais's life as he had a most pleasing humor so many of the great ones at Court were extreamly delighted with his Buffoneries and at their instigation left his Cloister and-obtained leave of Pope Clement the 7th to remove himself from the order of St. Franciâ— to that of St. Bennet at Maillezais in Poitou But after that to the great scandal of the Church he left the regular habit for the secular in which he wandred thorough many places of the world he went to Montpellier in Languedo took all the degrees of the Vniversity profest Physick with much reputation here he read Physick publickly and had many followers as he himself writes to the Bishop of Maillezais his Moecenas here he composed his works upon Hipocrates highly esteemed by the most learned Physitians Since leaving this place he came to Paris during the Reign of Francis the first Father and restorer of all sciences Rabelais by his ingenuity quickly be got the acquaintance and frendship oâ— many able and learned men and of the best quality Amongst the rest Iohn Cardinal du Bellai finding his capacity made him his servant and Companion when he went Ambassador from the most Christian King unto the Popâ— Paul the third in this Voyage to Italy accompanying his Master to audience he put a trick upon his Holiness as thâ— merry report runs of him he lived a pretty while in the Court of Rome contracted friendship with many Cardinals as appears by his letters And at the same time he obtained absolution from the same Pope having incurr'd the Ecclesiastical censures partly by his dissolute and debauch'd life as by his free and drolling humor mocking and jesting at all persons and of all sorts at Lucian's example Soon after this most generous Cardinal took him off from his profession of Physick to make use of him in his most secret negotiations and made him Prebend of the Collegiate Church of St. Maur and Curate of the Church of Meudon near Paris here he did not as 't was believed compose his Pantagruellism but rather at another place called the Deanry near the Abbey of our Lady 's of Seville near Chinon which furnisht matter for this famous Satyre The Conversation Rabelais had with the Monks of the house who at that time lived not in the austerity of their order makes him make use of the Sachristain the Vigneard of Seville Lernans Bacheos and of the Sibillâ— of Pansoust places adjacent to the Abbey he makes mention of This Piece of work was not sooner publisht but he begot the blame and envy of the world which occasion'd him in the year 1552. to write a condoling letter unto his friend Odet Cardinal Chattillon giving the reason that moved him to compose it which was to remove the disquiet and tediousness from sick and languishing persons who were diverted and consolated by this innocent mirth deploring the caâ—umnious envy of some Cannibals so animated against him as to say the Book was stuft with heresies which Francis the first being made acquainted with and having the curiosity to read the Book found it unblameable This satyrick work by the single approbation of the President de Thou is no contemptable piece nor takes off our Author from other works more serious and learned as are Hippocrates his Aphorisms which he purely faithfully put into Latin and several letters both French and Latin which he writ with a neat stile unto the Cardinal Chattillon the Bishop of Maillezais to Andrew Tiragneau and to other persons of great learning he publisht also the Sciomachia and feasts made at Rome in Cardinal Bellay's Pallace at the Birth of the Duke of Orleans and 't is observed by his letters that he was a man of great business having begot the friendship of many Prelats and Cardinals at Rome It is not certain when he dyed yet some say in the year 1553. as relates the Reverend Father Peter St. Romuald of the order of the Feillans in the third part of his Chronological Treasury where he mentions several particulars of his life Ioachim du Bellay Iohn Anthony Baif Peter Bautanger other learned Poets have composed Epitaphs to his memory Stephen Pasquier relates this following one in his Book of Tombs Sive
your body and profit of your reines but hearken joltheads you viedazes or dickens take ye remember to drink a health to me for the like favour again and I will pledge you instantly Tout ares metys RABELAIS TO THE Reader GOod friends my Readers who peruse this Book Be not offended whil'st on it you look Denude your selves of all deprav'd affection For it containes no badnesse nor infection 'T is true that it brings forth to you no birth Of any value but in point of mirth Thinking therefore how sorrow might your minde Consume I could no apter subject finde One inch of joy surmounts of grief a span Because to laugh is proper to the man CHAP. I. Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of GARGANTUA I Must referre you to the great Chronicle of Pantagruel for the knowledge of that Genealogy and Antiquity of race by which Gargantua is come unto us in it you may understand more at large how the Giants were born in this world and how from them by a direct line issued Gargantua the father of Pantagruel and do not take it ill if for this time I passe by it although the subject be such that the oftener it were remembered the more it would please your worshipfull Seniorias according to which you have the authority of Plato in Philebo and Gorgias and of Flaccus who saies that there are some kindes of purposes such as these are without doubt which the frequentlier they be repeated still prove the more delectable Would to God every one had as certaine knowledge of his Genealogy since the time of the Arke of Noah untill this age I think many are at this day Emperours Kings Dukes Princes and Popes on the earth whose extraction is from some porters and pardon-pedlars as on the contrary many are now poor wandring beggars wretched and miserable who are descended of the blood and lineage of great Kings and Emperours occasioned as I conceive it by the transport and revolution of Kingdomes and Empires from the Assyrians to the Medes from the Medes to the Persians from the Persians to the Macedonians from the Macedonians to the Romans from the Romans to the Greeks from the Greeks to the French c. And to give you some hint concerning my self who speaks unto you I cannot think but I am come of the race of some rich King or Prince in former times for never yet saw you any man that had a greater desire to be a King and to be rich then I have and that onely that I may make good chear do nothing nor care forany thing and plentifully enrich my friends and all honest and learned men but herein do I comfort my self that in the other world I shall be so yea and greater too then at this present I dare wish as for you with the same or a better conceit consolate your selves in your distresses and drink fresh if you can come by it To returne to our weathers I say that by the sovereign gift of heaven the Antiquity and Genealogy of Gargantua hath been reserved for our use more full and perfect then any other except that of the Messias whereof I mean not to speak for it belongs not unto my purpose and the Devils that is to say the false accusers and dissembled gospellers will therein oppose me This Genealogy was found by Iohn Andrew in a meadow which he had near the Pole-arch under the Olive-tree as you go to Marsay where as he was making cast up some ditches the diggers with their mattocks struck against a great brazen tomb and unmeasurably long for they could never finde the end thereof by reason that it entered too farre within the Sluces of Vienne opening this Tomb in a certain place thereof sealed on the top with the mark of a goblet about which was written in Hetrurian letters HIC BIBITUR They found nine Flaggons set in such order as they use to ranke their kyles in Gasconie of which that which was placed in the middle had under it a big fat great gray pretty small mouldy little pamphlet smelling stronger but no better then Roses In that book the said Genealogy was found written all at length in a Chancery hand not in paper not in parchment nor in wax but in the bark of an elme-tree yet so worne with the long tract of time that hardly could three letters together be there perfectly discerned I though unworthy was sent for thither and with much help of those Spectacles whereby the art of reading dim writings and letters that do not clearly appear to the sight is practised as Aristotle teacheth it did translate the book as you may see in your pantagruelising that is to say in drinking stifly to your own hearts desire and reading the dreadful and horrifick acts of Pantagruel at the end of the book there was a little Treatise entituled the Antidoted Fanfreluches or a Galimatia of extravagant conceits The rats and mothes or that I may not lie other wicked beasts had nibled off the beginning the rest I have hereto subjoyned for the reverence I beare to antiquity THE Antidoted Fanfreluches Or A Galimatia of extravagant conceits found in an ancient Monument NO sooner did the Cymbrians overcommer Pass through the air to shun the dew of summer But at his coming streight great tubs were fill'd With pure fresh Butter down in showers distill'd Wherewith when water'd was his Grandam heigh A loud he cryed Fish it Sir I pray ye Because his beard is almost all beray'd Or that he would hold toâ—m a scale he pray'd To lick his slipper some told was much better Then to gaine pardons and the merit greater In th' interim a crafty chuff approaches From the depth issued where they fish for Roches Who said Good sirs some of them let us save The Eele is here and in this hollow cave You 'll finde if that our looks on it demurre A great wast in the bottome of his furre To read this Chapter when he did begin Nothing but a calves hornes were found therein I feel quoth he the Miter which doth hold My head so chill it makes my braines take cold Being with the perfume of a Turnup warm'd To stay by chimney hearths himself he arm'd Provided that a new thill horse they made Of every person of a hair-braind head They talked of the bunghole of Saint Knowles Of Gilbathar and thousand other holes If they might be reduc'd t' a scarry stuffe Such as might not be subject to the cough Since ev'ry man unseemly did it finde To see them gaping thus at ev'ry winde For if perhaps they handsomely were clos'd For pledges they to men might be expos'd In this arrest by Hercules the Raven Was flayd at her returne from Lybia haven Why am not I said Minos there invited Unlesse it be my self not one 's omitted And then it is their minde I do no more Of Frogs and Oysters send them any store In case they spare my life and prove but civil I
considering that nature cannot endure a sudden change without great violence Therefore to begin his work the better he requested a learned Physician of that time called Master Theodorus seriously to perpend if it were possible how to bring Gargantua unto a better course the said Physician purged him canonically with Anticyrian ellebore by which medicine he cleansed all the alteration and perverse habitude of his braine By this meanes also Ponocrates made him forget all that he had learned under his ancient Praeceptors as Timothie did to his disciples who had been instructed under other Musicians To do this the better they brought him into the company of learned men which were there in whose imitation he had a great desire and affection to study otherwayes and to improve his parts Afterwards he put himself into such a road and way of studying that he lost not any one houre in the day but employed all his time in learning and honest knowledge Gargantua awaked them about foure a clock in the morning whilest they were in rubbing of him there was read unto him some chapter of the holy Scripture aloud and clearly with a pronunciation fit for the matter and hereunto was appointed a young page borne in Basche named Anagnostes according to the purpose and argument of that lesson he oftentimes gave himself to worship adore pray and send up his supplications to that good God whose Word did shew his majesty and marvellous judgement Then went he unto the secret places to make excretion of his natural digestions there his Master repeated what had been read expounding unto him the most obscure and difficult points in returning they considered the face of the sky if it was such as they had observed it the night before and into what signes the Sun was entering as also the Moon for that day This done he was apparelled combed curled trimmed and perfumed during which time they repeated to him the lessons of the day before he himself said them by heart and upon them would ground some practical cases concerning the estate of man which he would prosecute sometimes two or three houres but ordinarily they ceased assoon as he was fully clothed Then for three good houres he had a lecture read unto him This done they went forth still conferring of the substance of the lecture either unto a field near the University called the Brack or unto the medowes where they played at the ball the long-tennis and at the Pïletrigone which is a play wherein we throw a triangular piece of iron at a ring to passe it most gallantly exercising their bodies as formerly they had done their mindes All their play was but in liberty for they left off when they pleased and that was commonly when they did sweat over all their body or were otherwayes weary Then were they very well wiped and rubbed shifted their shirts and walking soberly went to see if dinner were ready Whilest they stayed for that they did clearly and eloquently pronounce some sentences that they had retained of the lecture in the mean time Master Appetite came and then very orderly sate they down at table at the beginning of the meale there was read some pleasant history of the warlike actions of former times until he had taken a glasse of wine Then if they thought good they continued reading or began to discourse merrily together speaking first of the vertue propriety efficacy and nature of all that was served in at the table of bread of wine of water of salt of fleshes fishes fruits herbs roots and of their dressing by meanes whereof he learned in a little time all the passages competent for this that were to be found in Plinie Athenaeus Dioscorides Iulius Pollux Galen Porphirie Oppian Polybius Heliodore Aristotle Elian and others Whilest they talked of these things many times to be the more certain they caused the very books to be brought to the table and so well and perfectly did he in his memory retain the things abovesaid that in that time there was not a Physician that knew half so much as he did Afterwards they conferred of the lessons read in the morning and ending their repast with some conserve or marmelade of quinces he pick't his teeth with mastick tooth-pickers wash't his hands and eyes with faire fresh water and gave thanks unto God in some fine Canticks made in praise of the divine bounty and munificence This done they brought in cards not to play but to learn a thousand pretty tricks and new inventions which were all grounded upon Arithmetick by this meanes he fell in love with that numerical science and every day after dinner and supper he past his time in it as pleasantly as he was wont to do at cardes and dice so that at last he understood so well both the Theory and Practical part thereof that Tunstal the Englishman who had written very largely of that purpose confessed that verily in comparison of him he had no skill at all And not only in that but in the other Mathematical Sciences as Geometrie Astronomie Musick c. for in waiting on the concoction and attending the digestion of his food they made a thousand pretty instruments and Geometrical figures did in some measure practise the Astronomical canons After this they recreated themselves with singing musically in foure or five parts or upon a set theme or ground at random as it best pleased them in matter of musical instruments he learned to play upon the Lute the Virginals the Harp the Allman Flute with nine holes the Viol and the Sackbut This houre thus spent and digestion finished he did purge his body of natural excrements then betook himself to his principal study for three houres together or more as well to repeat his matuâ—inal lectures as to proceed in the book wherein he was as also to write handsomly to draw and forme the Antick and Romane letters This being done they went out of their house and with them a young Gentleman of Touraine named the Esquire Gymnast who taught him the Art of riding changing then his clothes he rode a Naples courser a Dutch roussin a Spanish gennet a barded or trapped steed then a light fleet horse unto whom he gave a hundred carieres made him go the high saults bounding in the aire free the ditch with a skip leap over a stile or pale turne short in a ring both to the right and left hand There he broke not his lance for it is the greatest foolery in the world to say I have broken ten lances at tilt or in fight a Carpenter can do even as much but it is a glorious and praise-worthy action with one lance to break and overthrow ten enemies therefore with a sharp stiffe strong and well-steeled lance would he usually force up a door pierce a harnesse beat down a tree carry away the ring lift up a cuirasier saddle with the male-coat and gantlet all this he did in compleat armes from head to foot As
how often have we seen them even immediately after they were anointed and throughly greased till their faces did glister like the Key-hole of a powdering tub their teeth dance like the jacks of a paire of little Organs or Virginals when they are played upon and that they foamed from their very throats like a boare which the Mongrel Mastiffe-hounds have driven in and overthrown amongst the foyles what did they then All their consolation was to have some page of the said roll-Roll-book read unto them and we have seen those who have given themselves to a hundred punchions of old devils in case that they did not feele a manifest ease and asswagement of paine at the hearing of the said book read even when they were kept in a purgatory of torment no more nor lesse then women in travel use to finde their sorrow abated when the life of St. Margarite is read unto them is this nothing finde me a book in any language in any faculty or science whatsoever that hath such vertues properties and prerogatives and I will be content to pay you a quart of tripes No my Masters no it is peerlesse incomparable and not to be matched and this am I resolved for ever to maintaine even unto the fire exclusive And those that will pertinaciously hold the contrary opinion let them be accounted Abusers Predestinators Impostors and Seducers of the People it is very true that there are found in some gallant and stately books worthy of high estimation certain occult and hid properties in the number of which are reckoned Whippot Orlando furioso Robert the devil Fierabras William without feare Huon of Bourdeaux Monteville and Matabrune but they are not comparable to that which we speak of and the world hath well known by infallible experience the great emolument and utility which it hath received by this Gargantuine Chronicle for the Printers have sold more of them in two moneths time then there will be bought of Bibles in nine yeares I therefore your humble slave being very willing to increase your solace and recreation yet a little more do offer you for a Present another book of the same stamp only that it is a little more reasonable and worthy of credit then the other was for think not unlesse you wilfully will erre against your knowledge that I speak of it as the Jewes do of the Law I was not born under such a Planet neither did it ever befall me to lie or affirme a thing for true that was not I speak of it like a lustie frolick Onocrotarie I should say Crotenotarie of the martyrised Lovers and Croquenotarie of love â—uod vidimus testamur It is of the horrible and dreadful feats and prowesses of Pantagruel whose menial servant I have been ever since I was a page till this houre that by his leave I am permitted to visit my Cow-countrey and to know if any of my Kindred there be alive And therefore to make an end of this Prologue even as I give my selfe to an hundred Panniers-full of faire devils body and soule tripes and guts in case that I lie so much as one single word in this whole History After the like manner St. Anthonies fire burne you Mahooms disease whirle you the squinance with a stitch in your side and the Wolfe in your stomack trusse you the bloody flux seize upon you the curst sharp inflammations of wilde fire as slender and thin as Cowes haire strengthened with quick silver enter into your fundament and like those of Sodom and Gomorrha may you fall into sulphur fire and bottomlesse pits in case you do not firmly beleeve all that I shall relate unto you in this present Chronicle The Second Book of RABELAIS Treating of the Heroick Deeds and Sayings of the good PANTAGRUEL CHAP. I. Of the Original and Antiquity of the great Pantagruel IT will not be an idle nor unprofitable thing seeing we are at leasure to put you in minde of the Fountain and Original Source whence is derived unto us the good Pantagruel for I see that all good Historiographers have thus handled their Chronicle not only the Arabians Barbarians and Latines but also the gentle Greeks who were eternal drinkers You must therefore remark that at the beginning of the world I speak of a long time it is above fourty quarantaines or fourty times fourty nights according to the supputation of the ancient Druids a little after that Abel was killed by his brother Cain the earth imbrued with the blood of the just was one year so exceeding fertil in all those fruits which it usually produceth to us and especially in Medlars that ever since throughout all ages it hath been called the yeare of the great medlars for three of them â—id fill a bushel in it the Calends were found by the Grecian Almanacks there was that yeare nothing of the moneth of March in the time of Lent and the middle of August was in May in the moneth of October as I take it or at least September that I may not erre for I will carefully take heed of that was the week so famous in the Annals which they call the week of the three Thursdayes for it had three of them by meanes of their regular Leap-yeares called Bissextils occasioned by the Sunnes having tripped and stumbled a little towards the left hand like a debtor afraid of Serjeants coming right upon him to arrest him and the Moon varied from her course above five fathom and there was manifestly seen the motion of trepidation in the firmament of the fixed starres called Aplanes so that the middle Pleiade leaving her fellowes declined towards the Equinoctial and the starre named Spica left the constellation of the Virgin to withdraw her self towards the balance known by the name of Libra which are cases very terrible and matters so hard and difficult that Astrologians cannot set their teeth in them and indeed their teeth had been pretty long if they could have reached thither However account you it for a truth that every body then did most heartily eaâ— of those medlars for they were faire to the eye and in taste delicious but even as Noah that holy man to whom we are so much beholding bound and obliged for that he planted to us the Vine from whence we have that nectarian delicious precious heavenly joyful and deifick liquour which they call the piot or tiplage was deceived in the drinking of it for he was ignorant of the great vertue and power thereof so likewise the men and women of that time did delight much in the eating of that faire great fruit but divers and very different accidents did ensue thereupon for there fell upon them all in their bodies a most terrible swelling but not upon all in the same place for some were swollen in the belly and their belly strouted out big like a great tun of whom it is written ventrem omnipotentem who were all very honest men and merry blades and
a Cormorant would do a little fish and afterwards began fumblingly to say Good good good for he could not yet speak plaine giving them to understand thereby that he had found it very good and that he did lack but so much more which when they saw that attended him they bound him with great cable-ropes like those that are made at Tain for the carriage of salt to Lyons or such as those are whereby the great French ship rides at Anchor in the Road of Newhaven in Normandie But on a certain time a great Beare which his father had bred got loose came towards him began to lick his face for his Nurses had not throughly wiped his chaps at which unexpected approach being on a sudden offended he as lightly rid himself of those great cables as Samson did of the haulser ropes wherewith the Philistines had tied him and by your leave takes me up my Lord the Beare and teares him to you in pieces like a pullet which served him for a gorge-ful or good warme bit for that meale Whereupon Gargantua fearing lest the childe should hurt himself caused foure great chaines of iron to be made to binde him and so many strong wooden arches unto his Cradle most firmely stocked and mortaised in huge frames of those chaines you have one at Rochel which they draw up at night betwixt the two great towers of the Haven Another is at Lyons A third at Angiers And the fourth was carried away by the devils to binde Lucifer who broke his chaines in those dayes by reason of a cholick that extraordinarily torment him taken with eating a Serjeants soule fried for his breakfast and therfore you may beleeve that which Nicolas de Lyra saith upon that place of the Psalter where it is written Et Og regem Basan that the said Og being yet little was so strong and robustious that they were faine to binde him with chaines of iron in his Cradle thus continued Pantagruel for a while very calme and quiet for he was not able so easily to break those chaines especially having no room in the Cradle to give a swing with his armes But see what happened once upon a great Holiday that his father Gargantua made a sumptuous banquet to all the Princes of his Court I am apt to beleeve that the menial officers of the hoâ—se were so imbusied in waiting each on his proper service at the feast that no body took care of poor Pantagruel who was left a reculorum behinde-hand all alone and as forsaken What did he Heark what he did good people he strove and essayed to break the chaines of the Cradle with his armes but coold not for they were too strong for him then did he keep with his feet such a stamping stirre and so long that at last he beat out the lower end of his Cradle which notwithstanding was made of a great post five foot in square and assoon as he had gotten out his feet he slid down as well as he could till he had got his soales to the ground and then with a mighty force he rose up carrying his Cradle upon his back bound to him like a Tortoise that crawles up against a wall and to have seen him you would have thought it had been a great Carrick of five hundred tunne upon one end In this manner he entred into the great Hall where they were banquetting and that very boldly which did much affright the companie yet because his armes were tied in he could not reach any thing to eate but with great pain stooped now and then a little to take with the whole flat of his tongue some lick good bit or morsel Which when his father saw he knew well enough that they had left him without giving him any thing to eate and therefore commanded that he should be loosed from the said chains by the counsel of the Princes and Lords there present besides that also the Physicians of Gargantua said that if they did thus keep him in the Cradle he would be all his life-time subject to the stone When he was unchained they made him to sit down where after he had fed very well he took his Cradle and broke it into more then five hundred thousand pieces with one blow of his fist that he struck in the midst of it swearing that he would never come into it again CHAP. V. Of the Acts of the noble Pantagruel in his youthful age THus grew Pantagruel from day to day and to every ones eye waxed more and more in all his dimensions which made his father to rejoyce by a natural affection therefore caused he to be made for him whilest he was yet little a pretty Crossebowe wherewith to shoot at small birds which now they call the great Crossebowe at Chantelle Then he sent him to the school to learn and to spend his youth in vertue in the prosecution of which designe he came first to Poictiers where as he studied and profited very much he saw that the Scholars were oftentimes at leisure and knew not how to bestow their time which moved him to take such compassion on them that one day he took from a long ledge of rocks called there Pâ—sselourdin a huge great stone of about twelve fathom square and fourteen handfuls thick and with great ease set it upon foure pillars in the midst of a field to no other end but that the said Scholars when they had nothing else to do might passe their time in getting up on that stone and feast it with store of gammons pasties and flaggons and carve their names upon it with a knife in token of which deed till this houre the stone is called the lifted stone and in remembrance hereof there is none entered into the Register and matricular Book of the said University or accounted capable of taking any degree therein till he have first drunk in the Caballine fountain of Croustelles passed at Passelourdin and got up upon the lifted stone Afterwards reading the delectable Chronicles of his Ancestors he found that Iafrey of Lusinian called Iafrey with the great tooth Grandfather to the Cousin in law of the eldest Sister of the Aunt of the Son in law of the Uncle of the good daughter of his Stepmother was interred at Maillezais therefore one day he took campos which is a little vacation from study to play a while that he might give him a visit as unto an honest man and going from Poictiers with some of his companions they passed by the Guge visiting the noble Abbot Ardillonâ— then by Lusinian by Sansay by Celles by Coalonges by Fontenay the Conte saluting the learned Taraqueau and from thence arrived at Maillezais where he went to see the Sepulchre of the said Iafrey with the great tooth which made him somewhat afraid looking upon the pictute whose lively draughts did set him forth in the representation of a man in an extreme fury drawing his great Malchus faulchion half way out of his scabbard