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A27480 Private devotion and a brief explication of the ten commandments Bernard, Edward, 1638-1696. 1689 (1689) Wing B1991; ESTC R9838 47,771 196

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am also ready to make reparation of fame and credit together with an ingenuous and humble acknowledgement to all that I have slandered and calumniated namely to c. And accordingly I forthwith take order that Restitution and Satisfaction be made to them all to the utmost of my ability and that their Release and Acquittance for all injuries done to them be obtained or else most justly and verily presumed before I adventure to crave the benefit of Absolution If I am ashamed of such a Confession and Restitution I am not ashamed nor afraid to be the everlasting contempt and scorn of the most holy Creator and of all that is blessed I am not ashamed nor affrighted to be the companion of devils and all villanous men that ever lived in darkness horror and torment Let no father patron or master think of bettering the worldly condition of his successours by his own dreadful condemnation for finally concealing and retaining his illgotten estate or frauds IV. Moreover with a charitable heart according to the b●st of my understanding and enquiry imploring the assistance of Gods Holy Spirit I ●ave made my Last will and Testament disposing the goods and estate God hath given me for his greatest glory Namely amongst my Relations and likewise in a due acknowledgment of sundry precious benefi●s received by me in this Apostolick Church of which ● hope to continue a part to my lifes end and also for the poor Blessing Almighty God for enabling me to give them some relief and so to lend unto himself his own temporal blessings to obtain far better riches in heaven Amen I rest upon thy merits and upon thy word O Triumphant Saviour Forgive and ye shall be forgiven Give and it shall be given into your bosom good measure pressed down shaken together and running over Luk. c. 6.37 and c. 11.9 Amen Finally I have given my Relations and Friends the best advise and counsel I could for the good of their neverdying souls and for their well-living in this world V. Having thus rid my self of all the cares and troubles and concerns of mortality having now perfectly done with this world with a clear and humble heart I address my self to thy Grace Almighty and most merciful God and Father beseeching thee to instruct exer●ise and prepare me for the succeeding glo●ious and immortal life to which by the Chris●ian Profession thou hast advanced my hope and awful expectation Hallelujah through the glorified Jesus Hallelujah to all Eternity Amen But I foresee the passage to this Beatitude to be very dark and Dismall full of Thorns and Tears full of Confessions Remorse and Contrition for the many faults of a short life and also full of disease and pains and anguish reaching unto dissolution insensibility stench and rottenness By all thy agonies and experience help me O holy Jesus through this terror Amen REPENTANCE· CHAP. XVI See CHAP. VI. §. 5. and CHAP XI §. 2. I. Consession I Have sinned O Lord I have dealt wickedly I have led an unequal untoward and polluted life I have sinned before thee when ashamed of humane view before thee my Father my Judge my Benefactor my Worship and my God. O absurd and stupid wretch In thought word and deed with all the powers and abilities thou hast given me with affection and design have I sinned against thee most Mighty and most Holy Ungratefully and basely grievously and presumtuously particularly c. have I sinned and Lord how often secretly and openly in the chamber as c. an● in publick as c. treading upon thy earth and covered with thy heavens yea ● have sinned in the House of God and in the midst of my Pray●rs and Invocations as c. Is this then the Image of God is this a Christian an heir of eternal Life ●his a Priest and Dispenser of the pure Word and Sacraments of the Lord Jesus Ah this is nothing but clay and dirt uncleanness and misery II. Contrition THe soul that is troubled and the spirit that is vexed cryeth unto thee O Lord. I Relent I grieve I am heartily sorry for this demerit and irritation of thy Divine justice I am ashamed I abhor my self I am perfectly we●ry of this corrupt life What shall I do whi●her shall I turn I am ashamed to look up to heaven that beh●lds my vileness to heaven which I have abused and despised I will bowe my self to the earth and the grave that waits to hide and devour such a wretch I will s●ite upon my breast with the conscious publicane upon my breast the box and origine of all this mischief And do thou strike this rock O holy Jesus that the waters may freely flow that my tears may mingle with thy blood my humble and sincere repentance reach thy propitiation and remission Dissolve thou sinful clod tremble thou earth earth earth at the presence of the Lord at the presence and vindication of the God of Jacob who turned the ●lint stone into a springing well I wish for the tears of David pierced with the matter of Uriah the mourning of Jeremiah and the dejection of Manasseh I recollect and confess in particular unto thee my more grievous sins the rest are without number in the bitterness of my soul. Thus and thus have I done c. I give glory to thee as Achan I confess and am confo●nded at the enormity and presumption and villanous circumstances of my offences as c. I hide not my unrighteousness as Adam in the garden who led the way of sinning and of repentance I hide not I cannot hide but with tears and dread remorse acknowledge to thy most pure and omniscient Majesty my faults my follies yea rather my wilfulness my hardness my vices my criminal and deplorable life And lo here I judge and reprove and condemn my self at the bottom of thy throne and yet I am not enough abased He cannot fall too low whose merit is hell My deformation and destruction is only from my self from my perverse and incorrigible self my relief and salvation is from thee only Father thou knowest my sins and thou knowest my anguish It is not easy to transgress thy commands and reflect upon the transgressions My flesh trembleth for f●ar of thee and I am afraid of thy judgments O Lord. I dread that great day when the thrones shall be set the books opened and my shameful life recited and all my works of darkness exposed in perfect light I tremble lest the blessed Jesus who shed his blood for my redemption and hath so earnestly urged and offered me pardon and peace and eternal life should then condemn me and the mighty angels and holy men of all ages and nations newly clothed with immortal and illustrious bodies hiss me from the righteous Tribunal and the mouth of hell receive my body and soul into exquisite torments without light or pity My present horrour and confusion is great but what is this to everlasting burnings III. Supplication GReat