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book_n	know_v	read_v	time_n	2,668	5	3.4449	3	true

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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A75475	Antidotum Culmerianum: or, Animadversions upon a late pamphlet, entituled, Cathedrall newes from Canterbury, &c. by Richard Culmer, who is here (according to his friends desire, and his own desert) set forth in his colours.	Culmer, Richard, d. 1662.	1645 (1645)	Wing A3500; Thomason E279_13	30,986	39

will appear to the lasting shame and infamy of such odious malice heightned in this A treacherous guest that the place where these pretended dangerous words were uttered was the accusers own table in Christmasse time No marvell that a Noble man one of the Councell-board thereupon let fall this wish or deprecation rather From such guests good Lord deliver me Adde hereunto that they were concealed and not complained of till almost half a yeare after in revenge too for the Gentlemans being as was pretended a means to dispossesse his accuser of what he mouths so much by the name of his Benefice his Curatship a little before his complaint preferred which 't is knowne he lost for refusing to read what he hath since been heard to wish he had read the booke of Liberty But to the transcript taken from the very originall under seal At Whitehall the 9 of Octob. 1635. Present Lo. Archbishop of Canterbury his Grace Lo. Keeper Lo. Privy-seal Earle Marshall Lo. Cottington Mr. See Wyndebanck Whereas upon an information given by R. C. Clerk against E. B. of B. in the County of Kent Gent. the said E. B. was sent for by warrant Note and bound to appeare and answer the same before their Lordship on Friday the 9 of this present this day both the said parties having beene called and heard before the board their Lordships finding the said information and complaint against Mr. B. to have been causlesse and unjust did thinke fit and order that he should be forthwith discharged from any further attendance concerning the same and that the bonds by him entred into for his appearance should be delivered up unto him Lastly that the said R. C. should for such his mis-information and abuse stand committed prisoner to the Fleet. * The 12 Tables would have condemned him to death Qui falsum testimonium dixisse convictus erit saxo Tarpeio descitor Ext. c. And now Reader what thinke you of his Maliciousnes I conceive you expect no further evidence Leaving that then let 's try him next for his Doltishnes And for that 8. Doltishnesse if he please he shall have his booke let him bee tried by that VVhat judicious man having read the promising Title page where he findes the author arrogating the Title and degree of a Master of Arts looks over the booke can refraine from a Scribimus indocti doctique c. of a Parturiunt montes c. can conclude it to be other then a meere unworthy ridiculous peece a pitifull poore jejune dry dull empty essay for a Master of Arts Can he be thought other then a meere Ignoramus a Duns a Dullard a Dolt a Culmer that hath fardelled up a deale of bald bold base virulent scurrillous stuffe as void of learning as of truth as void of method as full of malice written surely with inke mixt and made of vinegar and kennell water A foule pen. and fitter for nothing then the basest of necessary uses what Master of Arts but he would not be ashamed of such a blue come off had he not great need to print his thousands Quid dignum tanto tulit hic promissor hiatu But here 's the knack on 't 't is fitted to the genius of his old patrons the vulgar calculated to the meridian of their capacities and if the people the rabble the multitude relish taste resent it well quoth Dick why Hey then up goe we If it please their palats and take well with them satis est superque having never yet learn'd it seems that Principibus placuisse viris non ultima laus est But what saith he Equisonem quam equitem mihi plaudere cure Thus expects he aurum è stercore ●●e like a meere dunghill craven But though by his own confession 't is sure working by the book yet that 's not all the evidence we have to prove his Duns ship Aske about in the places of his greatest concourse amongst those if you will that best affect him and you shall never finde their respect their affection towards him grounded upon any learning or Scholler-like parts that he is guilty of 'T is confessed of all hands that he is a very meane dry dull preacher a worse disputant and for the pen fit liber Inden I appeale to his booke What it is that hath commended him to their affection and begat their esteem of him is his forwardnesse to heare and carry newes and to be active and dextrous in such works of orderly reformation as that whereof he blusheth not to make his boast in that Lying Legend As for any other matter worthy of note in him they are all as great strangers to it as himselfe But enough of that Now to his Lying I have heard of a youth one of his Tribe 9 Lying a bold factious fellow for Schollership as errant a blockhead as himselfe for conversation it may be somwhat looser much taxed for a notorious Lyer and so noted for it at the Vniversity that a common noted Lyer by a new invented Proverb amongst them was nicknamed after him how well he deserved it I partly know but how our scribler Dr. Dicke deserves the like all the City and parts adjacent by long experience of his common customary habituall lying know so well that were it put to the vote there whether or no a notorious Lyer should be called a Culmerist I dare warrant you it would be resolved upon the question perquàm paucis contradicentibus in the affirmative Whence els our common Proverb of Culmers Newes A Proverb taken up for an odious untruth a lowd Lie A faculty that hath so disparaged his intelligence whereof he makes a trade that truth and true intelligence fares the worse and wants that credit it deserves many times with most of his good Masters for coming out of his mouth so accustomed to run over with flammes and falshoods the just reward of a known convicted * Mendax ho● lucratur ut cùm vera dixerit ei non credatur Arist apud Diog. l. 5 lyer By the way tell me are we not like to have Peace and Truth meet apace the hearty and unfained wish of all good Protestants and true Patriots whilest these hypocrites mouth nothing more meane nothing lesse are not these I say like to meet and greet apace when least our peace should returne before their ends their turnes are serv'd to continue their dismall distance we must have such fomenting of divisions such flattering of parties with Lyes lyes by the living lyes by the dead lyes from the Presse and would I could not say lyes from the Pulpit too But all this while we speak without book It 's sure going by the booke saith Dick. Let 's then from his verball transient lies whereof somwhat before in his Impudence to his printed permanent lies yet not all those neither for fowling too much paper but here and there one for a tast and test of the whole pack as

much as you joy and scoffe at the hearing of the Cathedrall-Gates looke it come not to that passe one day that you wish the City-Gates nay the Kingdomes-Gates the Ports stood as wide open as these when one paire of heeles may be worth two paire of hands when an escape away may prove your best sanctuary against such a legall triall by the knowne Laws of the Land as may turne you over to Tiburne-Faire And then Bones Noches good night Dick. In the meane time Clama declama exclama usque ad Ravim Rumpantur ut Ilia Barke bellow bawll do even thy worst Till both thy bowells and thy belly burst FINIS A Copie of the Information presented to the Councell-Table by Richard Culmer against M. E. B. whereof mention is made before Parag. Maliciousnesse Numb 7. I Heard M. E. B. of B. in the parish of G. next W. speaking of the Ship-taxes Culmers first charge against M. B. for speaking against the Ship-Sesses say that such and such places were taxed so much and some so much c. and in the end he said that if we have such taxes laid upon us wee must rebell or we must be faine to rebell or to this effect punctually and hearing him say so I said that if we considered our burthen with others compared we had no cause to thinke of Rebellion The next occasion I could finde I called him aside after Evenning-song and gave him the best admonition I could telling him that I could not heare such words but with detestation and said that as a Subject and a Minister and a Guest I was bound to tell him what I did and intreated him for the Lord Jesus Christs sake that he would forbeare such speeches else I would never come to his house more with other speeches to this effect He replied did I say so yes said I that I did heare you say aske your wife and friends at home After that he never spake word of it more till I heard of late he in a passion against me at some meeting railing upon me hoping to get my Your Curatship good Richard Benefice for his Cosin H. by my The very ●rade you ●rive your self 〈◊〉 this day ruine he there as I heard by credible Information amongst other vile comparisons and speeches against me said that he invited me to his house at Christmas and afterwards I called him aside and would have him accuse himselfe but he spake words of sedition when as I did it not to bring him into a snare If I had I would have called witnesse when 〈…〉 shed him but the Lord knoweth I did it out of 〈…〉 duty to God and my Soveraigne Lord King Charles for whom I pray from the bottome of my heart that the Lord would preserve him from seditious and rebellious men And my wife saith shee well remembreth the same speech of his and mine at the Table And I heard the said M. B. say His second charge against him in behalfe of the Booke of Sports having read over the booke of Sabbath-Recreations and delivering it to me before Evensong in the Church I asked him if he had read it he replied yes it will make a good privy seale And my wife and I heard him in our own house say of the said booke that it was as if a Schoolmaster should say it is a good boy ply thy book and thou shalt go to play in the afternoone And I and my servant heard him say that it was unfit such bookes should be sent for Ministers to read in the Church yet after he had a project to get my Benefice he to collogue for it said in my hearing that it was a good booke and if it were read the Sabbath would be better kept then ever it was Dated July the 31. 1635. Per me Rich. Culmer

Antidotum Culmerianum OR ANIMADVERSIONS UPON A late Pamphlet entituled Cathedrall Newes from Canterbury c. BY RICHARD CULMER Who is here according to his friends desire and his own desert set forth in his colours PSAL. 63.12 The mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped Istie thesaurus stultis in lingua positus est ut maledicant melioribus Gildas Ecclesiastic Ordin Corrept Britannia habet Sacerdotes sed nonnullos insipientes quamplurimos Ministros sed multos impudentes saepius detrahentes rarò vera dicentes veritatem pro inimico odientes mendaciis ac si charissimis fratribus faventes OXFORD Printed by H. Hall 1644. To the Reader WAlking London-streets which eccho with nothing more of late then Newes and Newes-books Eme Lisippe nevos totâ canit urbe libellos And hearing one among the rest of that upstart Corporation of Newes-mongers proclaime Cathedrall Newes from Canterbury a place whereunto I have formerly had some relation and in my progresse a little further finding the very same Newes objected to common view on some Stationers stalls reeking hot as new as day being by the midwifery of the Presse newly brought into the world for the arguments sake I could not but turn purchaser and bestow a small piece of silver on it resolving after I had perused it my self to communicate it unto one or other of mine old acquaintance upon the place Retiring therefore to my chamber I presently fell to the fetching out my penny-worths and though I found the Canterbury-tale somwhat long yet the length of it so sweetened with gallant palate-pleasing mixtures and varieties savouring as well of profit as delight the prime procurers of an authours praise Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci and set off with Rhetoricall flowers and the quintessence of inticing language I would not I could not leave it after I had once begun untill a through perusall And how much the rather for the noble and famous Authors sake a man whose sweetnesse and meeknesse of temper and Dove-like conditions do notably answer to that singular antipathy to the breed of Snakes and Serpents See Lambard perambul of Kent in Tanet by Solinus an old Historian ascribed to his native soile the Isle of Thanet being indeed a man as I have heard and partly know of great gravity singular modesty and other rare gifts both naturall and acquired whereof what further evidence needs any man expect then the present elaborate piece the book in hand This indeed is my opinion wherein I think I am so right so modest in my Encomiastick of the worthy Authour as I shall not need to doubt of any mans concurrence in opinion with me And being taken with the conceit of the Authours leaving the Pulpit to follow the Presse in a humour I resolved to leave my old trade of street-walking and go to try another while how I could play the Mercury and write a piece of Newes Furnished therefore with materialls from Thanet from the Free-Schoole at Canterbury from Magdalen-Colledge in Cambridge from Goodnestone in East-Kent from Herbaldowne and elswhere I put them in Rank and File and marshal'd them as well as I could in the following sheets how handsomely I feare it being my first Essay of this kind the first time I ever offered at the Mercury Some candor may incourage the new beginner to studie your requitall with better fruits hereafter In the meane time good Reader to be serious with thee expect not here any medling with State-matters any censuring of Superiours any reflexion upon the higher Powers no the Newes and the Newes-monger and some of his mates are the sole subject of this discourse and that only as thou hast it in the Title for an antidote against such grosse and notorious slanders upon his brethren as his malicious pen under the notion of Newes endeavours to obtrude upon credulous vulgar Readers in these censorious times whilest for want of a mirrour to represent unto them the Accuser himselfe in his own likenesse what might set a due value and a right estimate upon his censures of other men is altogether wanting Thus advertised I bid thee Farewell Antidotum Culmerianum OR Animadversions upon a late Pamphlet ENTITULED Cathedrall Newes from Canterburie BY RICHARD CULMER TO begin with the Title Cathedrall Newes Newes What a false Signe is here hung out What an Ignis fatuus hath this Scribler lighted both to his Patrons and Reader Cathedrall Newes Why how now friend What out as soone as in Out at the very first step Stumble at the threshold Cathedrall Newes quoth he Nothing lesse man Doth not the whole Kingdome ring of the spoile of many of its goodliest Cathedralls become Martyria objects of Martyrdome by the fury and malice of such desperate wild Reformers as you and your fellowes since these armes taken up as at Winchester Lincolne Lichfield Peterborough * En quò discordia Templa Perdaxit nitida c. and is the serving the Canterburian Cathedrall in the like kind or worse Cathedrall Newes now Away mistaken man away with your stale newes stinking stale indeed if ever any in the nostrils both of God and all good men Prophane wretch abuse Gods House deface his Temple and then vaunt and boast and bragg on 't glorie in your shame triumph in your turpitude make Ballads of it add impudence to your sacriledge Proh scelus infandum A peccavi one would think a Miserere mei an humble confession accompanied with an hearty contrition would have better become you But stay From whence what 's next From Canterbury Cathedrall Newes from Canterbury To see what out again Fie blunderer fie what another stumble mistaken still Call you this story of yours of that Cathedrals course usage Newes No such matter friend 't is but the second part of such Reformation-Newes from thence The Reformation I wis of that Cathedrall by some friends of yours begun you know and I feare the streets of Ascalon ring of it ere this time how much more every corner of the Kingdome D. Pask to the Earl of Holland in August 1642. well neere two years since the true story whereof recorded in a Letter written to a noble Lord from a worthy member of that Society however scorn'd and slander'd by your paultrie pen whilst you are not worthy to wipe his shooes posterity cannot read without a due mixture of wonderment and detestation detesting the action whilest they wonder not so much perhaps at the actors as at the age they liv'd in crying out with the Poet O tempora O mores Well What. but the Canterburian Cathedrall for so he adds is in an Abbey-like corrupt and rotten condition c. What meane you friend the materiall structure the Fabrick If so 't is true enough Abbeyes indeed ever since their deserved demolition and downfall have been in such a corrupt and rotten condition a neglected prey to winds and weather and to the like doth

of all her Gossips Another must have and had their prayers for the contrary her lack and want of the spirit to your Sister Gossip and share with her of her Overflowings A third whereof I saw and read the Ticket so ill written both for authography and sence as I never saw any thing of that kind more ridiculous and absurd must have and had their thanks and prayers too for a brother of hers Thanks to God for the opening of his eyes and bringing him to the sight of his error and what was that why taking up Armes and ingaging his person as a Souldier on the Kings partie Prayers for what why that he shut not his eyes againe and having deserted the King A holy sister beguiled revolt and relapse into his former error Another of the Sisterhood a sedulous and noted frequenter of their zealous exercise both publike and private having caught a clap of late besides the prayers made in her behalfe both here and elsewhere how did one of these Orthodox Ministers tooth and naile omni cum valido su● bestir himself in a Sermon the next Lords daie made on purpose to salve the matter and reconcile her to the offended Congregation from that proper and pertinent Text of Scripture Gal. 6. v. 1. whilest some of the Sisterhood hearing how the tongues of certaine of their owne tribe were lavish in the censure of their collapsed Sister and in such termes too as tended to the discredit of their righteous profession tender of the consequence laboured to disswade them from such scandalous censures condiscending to have her called Whore but not Censured as some would terme her Round-head-Whore And is not the world well mended my Masters at Christ-Church since this able and Orthodox Ministry was setled there doth not the Historian justlie worthilie celebrate this alteration A remedie indeed as bad if not worse then the disease not through the Physitians fault though but theirs rather who like pragmaticall patients will take no Physicke but of their owne prescribing admit of no Pastors but of their owne recommending a mischief which the wisdome of our State hath ever laboured to prevent by opposing popular Votes in the election of Ministers which cure if at this day for a while remitted will I doubt not be re-assum'd againe after some few such miscarriages as this have sufficiently informed the world of the inconvenience Fiat Thus have you heard of some of the Historians good qualities Peroratio to which I might justly add more such as his Arrogance Envy Revenge Rudenesse but since they are glanced at before and you may nauseate what you have already such unsavoury stuffe it is and chiefly least some over-curious Anagrammatist should please himselfe too much with picking out his name Richard Culmer from the first letter of each word in this goodly Poesie put together which to avoid the giving such a hint I have ex professo and of purpose marshalled otherwise then they lie in the mans name and that somewhat may be reserved for a second edition if he should provoke it by obtruding his Newes upon us a second time I will stop here neither fowling my own fingers The Cathedralists accusers competency debated nor blasting others eares with representing any more of his wretched conditions at present And by this time Readers you may be ready I suppose for a question and be ask'd what you think of the competency of the Cathedralists Accuser now that you have seene him unmas'd Is not Dick Culmer a fitting man to accuse other men and in that bitter satyricall sarcasticall pharisaicall way too Quis tulerit Gracchum that is so many wayes obnoxious to just reproofe himselfe to record to make a Register of Cathedrall evills of Cathedralists vices that is so great a stranger to all vertue himselfe Were it not a great deale fitter while the hypocrite is pulling Motes out of his brothers eyes or pulling out their eyes rather if that will content him for 't is their extirpation onely not reformation will serve his turne that he were casting Beames out of his owne Was there so little choice that a more righteous man then he could not be found on whom to lay the Province In reason such a Censor should himselfe be rectus in curia nay integer vitae scelerisque purus some Cato or an Aristides a man of exemplary justice and morall integrity It was indeed the saying of as honest a man somtime as himselfe Machiavel Accusa fortiter haerebit aliquid Accuse home be sure and doubtlesse thou shalt not lose thy labour But then as generally in cases of this nature the Accuser ought himselfe to be integrae famae a man without exception Shall a Jew accuse a Jew Claudius cannot passe for a competent accuser of a Moechus nor Catiline of Cethegus Amongst the list of just exceptions by the Civill Law serving to repell an accuser I have met with these 1. Infamie 2. Capitall Enmity 3. Guiltinesse of the same crime and 4. Sacriledge To all which exception and many more how liable our precious Recorder is ex allegatis probatis is so notorious as that henceforth after this Antidote I meane I shall not doubt to find both the Accuser and his Accusation the Newes and the Newes-monger accordingly esteemed with indifferent Judges As for the Proctors booke The Proctors book vindicated about which he keeps so great a stir I pray tell him had he thought me worthy of one of his books as well as some others that I thinke had as little relation to him I should have thought my self more obliged to have said somwhat in his defence however for the booke it self I will say so much for truths sake that I have heard many whom I tooke to be judicious men and well-affected to the Publike speake of it with good respect but to this day never heard any of any judgement blemish it with any such imputation laid upon it as that of much advancing Idolatry pag. 22. But may he not be thought his owne foe in flying so eagerly and angrily into the face of the Prector For if it be true that I have heard that he hath the keeping of the Neck-verse Booke time may come when the Proctor may doe him a speciall courtesie Friends you may one day be beholden to him since you talke of Bookes for that booke of mercie if it be not above your learning being written in Latine to prevent an ascent upon the fatall Ladder which your readinesse to come up the first and your feats upon it may sooner bring you then you are yet aware of A rope was then as a bridle about your loynes take heed it get not up higher and prove hereafter a Collar for your neck Dick you bad the Prelate remember the Pinacle but me thinks I heare sombodie make you this returne Plunderer remember you went beyond your Commission And indeed A jeer retorted friend Richard as