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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A47451 Dialogues of the dead relating to the present controversy concerning the Epistles of Phalaris / by the author of the Journey to London. King, William, 1663-1712. 1699 (1699) Wing K544; ESTC R223 26,245 94

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never before this last Century have been improv'd into easy Chairs by the Metamorphosis of cast Mantuas and Petti-coats to the ruin of Chamber-Maids And yet we thought our time well spent I must tell you Helvicus Are any of these things in Vsher's Annals or Simpson's Chronicon Lilly Perhaps not but we stand upon their Shoulders and therefore see things with greater exactness perhaps never Man came to the same pitch of Chronology as the much Esteem'd Bentivoglio He has got the true Standard by which to judge of the Grecian time He knows the Age of any Greek Word unless it be in the Greek Testament and can tell you the time a Man liv'd in by reading a Page of his Book as easily as I could have told an Oyster-Woman's Fortune when my hand was crost with a piece of Silver Helvicus This is admirable why then it seems Words have their Chronology and Phrases their Rise and Fall as well as the four Monarchies Lilly Very right let Bentivoglio but get a Sentence of Greek in his Mouth and turn it once or twice upon his Tongue and he as well knows the growth of it as a Vintner does Burgundy from Maderas Helvicus For shame give over You and Bentivoglio are a disgrace to Chronology which is a Study that has and does employ the care of the greatest Men in Church and State Nothing can be of more use than the Periods they fix both for the Illustration of History and the Service of Religion But I must own that Thericles's Crockery-ware does not fall under these grave Enquirers Notice Consider farther That Men of true Learning will always be Honour'd whilst their Mimicks are despis'd THE IMPOSTURE Heraclitus Democritus Heraclitus ALas Alas The World it seems continues still the same Lies Mistakes Cheats Forgeries and Impostures are Publish'd and Defended amongst the Learned as much as ever Alas Alas Democritus Chear up your Spirits Old Spark the World owes half its Ease Content and Happiness to Deceit So to his Cure we the Sick Youth betray And round the Cup persuasive Honey lay The Bitter Draught thus by the Boy receiv'd Preserves his Life for being well deceiv'd A Coxcomb is the Object of Envy rather than Pity When you weep to see Sharpers impose upon his Sense Bullies upon his Courage and Pedants upon his Understanding He laughs at your Tears and I laugh at his Follies Heraclitus Who without concern will consider that Pythagoras should write Verses and put Orpheus 's Name to ' em That Heraclides should be such an Imposture as to Counterfeit Thespis 's Plays and impose upon Clemens Alexandrinus Pollux and Plurarch altogether Alas the very Laws of Charondas and Zaleucus are spurious Cheats and foul Impostures whilst Diodorus Stobaeus and Others have as much as in them lay contributed to the Villany Democritus Defer your Passion the other side of these Propositions may chance to be true Besides you pass no great Compliment upon Learning when you would show your Learned Men of Antiquity to be either Fools or Rascals You may easily guess by this Smile what the generality of By-Standers will be apt to do upon this occasion Heraclitus But O! Phalaris Phalaris Notwithstanding the Dissertations of Bentivoglio the Sophist imposes his spurious Epistles upon the World under his Name and the Examiner who has undertaken his Defence has met with a kind Reception from the World whilst none complain but I and Bentivoglio Democritus Whilst Life Spirit and a great Genius shine throughout the Epistles and whilst Wit Judgment and Learning go along with the Examiner Men will read ' em In the mean time dry your Eyes and assure your self your Friend Bentivoglio will never be useless as long as there are any Grocers You seem more pale than ordinary all of a sudden What is the matter Heraclitus The Stone the Stone the Stone Democritus You can't be troubl'd with that since your Shade can feel no Pain Heraclitus It is the Marble that is the thing that grieves me Democritus Pray what has this Marble done Heraclitus Time has devour'd it Democritus If that be all that is a thing common to all Marble Heraclitus Oh! but this which is eaten is in the most material place for the purpose For without a Man can make sense of ppotonistha d arsicho noinow er nos c. and read whole Lines where no Letters can be seen the Age of Tragedy which is an important Matter can never be determin'd Democritus You are much besides the Mark old Friend if you would have a Stone legible A huge Marble would sell for nothing if it had above a dozen Letters on it That 's the Stone for Money that requires Spectacles and an Iron-Feskew to make Letters where a Man can't find ' em It is not a Criticks business to read Marbles but out of Broken pieces to guess at 'em and then positively to restore ' em As the misunderstanding of this at present has caus'd you some disturbance so the Contemplation of an Antiquary for the future may create you very good Diversion Heraclitus You seem not to have a just Relish of Antiquity whilst I deplore those irreparable losses which time has occasion'd Not a Mortal now Breathing knows the shape of Nestor 's Cup nor what were the Disputes of the Old Grammarians about it since them any Treatises which were written upon that Subject are now perish'd and sunk in Oblivion Democritus Well I will procure you a Catalogue from Bentivoglio of such Books as have been lost and are found such as have been lost and are not found and in short of such as have neither been lost nor found But my Heart won't break as long as there are such Dissertations remaining as The History of Coffee Tea Chocolate and Tobacco The Theological Collation occasion'd by the words Tirez Mirez Beus that is Take Look Drink by the profound Scholar Adrian Vander Blict The Treatise of Northallerton Ale The Interlude of Ale Toast Sugar Nutmeg and Tobacco with the Contest of Toast for having rub'd himself against Nutmeg Learn to lie warm proving the necessity for a Young Man to Marry an Old-Woman These Writings to me supply the place of all Authors that have writ about the shape of Cups since the Reign of Saturn Heraclitus Whilst in the mean time my Grief is insupportable Democritus Come put off your Chagrin and take a little of my good Humour along with you I will * 1. Rail with you 2. Quible with you 3. Quote Proverbs with you 4. Dispute with you 5. Pun with you 6. Cut Greek Capers with you 7. tell a Gossips Tale with you 8. Sing a Smutty Catch with you Any thing to divert you and yet all shall be according to Art and the exact Method of your Friend Bentivoglio I see you look sowre and begin to frown upon me How true a saying is it that one Man may steal a Horse with less danger than another