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B04342 News from Parnassus, in the abstracts and contents of three crown'd chronicles, relating to the three kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland. In a poem, divided into two parts : first, to the king, secondly, to the subjects of the said three kingdoms. Dedicated to His Majesty. / By a servant to Mars, and a lover of the muses, William Mercer. Mercer, William, 1605?-1675? 1682 (1682) Wing M1740; ESTC R180533 40,838 104

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I go on as all are ranked there For lo that piece I to the Ark compare Which Noah built wherein I think to save Such Righteous persons as I shall receive Upon Repentance finding of them free And them admit within the Ark with me But Noah had command to make the Ark Three hundred cubits long albe't that Bark Must bear a burden only but of eight And all not faithful neither such a fraight Might so be sav'd and here it is even so Just and unjust all generally do go Within my Ark which being open'd once And all call'd out 't will be but as a Sconce Compos'd of Paper not of Planks and power So slight a Ship might sink in such a shower In cruel cases men may make conform Both Bark and Fly-boat to withstand the storm So as my Ark at Anchor doth prove nice My Fly-boat puts Fools in a Paradise For if some few when they are call'd can stand By Faith as firm as they were on the Land So that the Waters were not their reward Yet when at Court they come to play their Card They may mistake I do not say they shall Though some's in danger for to fetch a fall For when so many did my Bark abuse I fram'd this Fly-Boat and shall not refuse To save some in 't as I in duty stand Though not presuming I can purge the Land As did St Patrick who though purging Vermine To put the spawn in people did not determine Or not that all are ill though many may For in the general I have such to say That as the Angels were created good And so might in that Heavenly station stood Yet fell and for no other reason neither But that they fell as they affected rather Even so shall many in their place appear Fallen from their first love too too many here Cathedral Saints I do not now single any Chur●● men But rich and poor all men must answer when I Call by their Names the Prophet and the Priest Both are in danger of one days arrest Unless the people plainly make appear That they read prayers precisely once a year The big Book duly doth demonstrate all The famous Fathers Apostolical Whence one of twelve was once found false before But out of twelve I now name half a score Then for our Judges I go evenly on Judg● Comparing some to Homer's Sarpedon And in the big Book I do clear the case Compares with Pompey and Aristides Some Judges Justness here I tell you that Moses and Joshua's Justice imitate Though they are dead their deeds live nevertheless Good mens perfections death doth not suppress And in my Book albe't he be removed I point at one so for his Law beloved Not only Law but to disparage none Equal in all things unto Sarpedon ●ustice in Judges ought as they survive Each one th' other t' appear superlative Pindarus Plato Cicero did say Of Justice as good Judges do to day And as Theog●nes gives it us in Greek Take it in Latin lest the thing you seek ●ustitia in sese virtutes continet omnes Even so as knowledge is on me conferr'd To tell the Truth my Tongue being not deterr'd 〈◊〉 do repeat the prudence then of those Examining when parties do oppose Each one the other and that make report Doctors Impartially in presence of the Court And all surrounding every Bench a bit I lay before them for to bite on it Physicians that put poison in the Pill Physicians and such as profess I pay them Fees according to their Skill And those that have both skill and kindness too As they deserve accordingly I do Hippocrates I challenge not for cheats He fills the Files with well advis'd Receipts Galen hath Gard'ners gathering Herbs I grant Apothecaries Pliny's supplying every place with Plants Now those that plead and such as play the Knave If they themselves by Sophistry can save Then be it so much is made out by Art Howe're it is my Pen must play its part Some Clerks and some the Terms tongue-turn'd Attorneys Talking to them makes merry on my Journeys There is one well-cover'd with a Gown ingrain'd Of base black dye with stinking Coffee stain'd Anagram O Base Cret'r ' I. In these few words his Name 's anatomiz'd And Answers to it since he was Baptiz'd All in which big Book brightly will appear In small Eclipses things are not seen clear I try all Trades though some past Prenticeship Playing the Knave such I severely whip Some take up Trades and some untaught Attorney Turns Lawyer but by taking of a Journey To Lon●●● I strive to take such untrain'd Trades-mens Tools Send such Mock-Lawyers back again to Schools Not cherishing of Cheaters but at large My Chronicle casheers them from their charge But O alas one thing 's like to be lost His Majesties Omissioners almost And yet I do not draw so deep a Debter My big Book bears them in a larger Letter Though herein happens one mistake in me I do neglect that great Character C I should say Co when O came in the way But now I think them both are best to say Saint Paul you know he saith and sealeth it The good he would the ill he will commit But they I see in both are Righteous rather Omit and Commit fully for their Father Do as the Scots said rightly understood The Souldiers swore they came for all their good But here is no such daubing now adays Whate're is call'd for ev'ry one obeys No man gets wrong but of the toys they bring Take some themselves the rest goes to the King God's good unto them therefore every hour Floods on the Farmers favours freely pour Many poor Merchants travel every Tyde And give what they can rap and run beside They 'r good to all fetch when you can tell what Be what it will they 'll take it what fault 's that They cannot all fair Promises perform For fear their Fortunes fail them in a storm 〈◊〉 would not wrong the Kings Omissioners More than the Priests wrong poor Parishoners Albe't I wrong them in one Letter lo 〈◊〉 would not wrong them too much no no no 〈◊〉 favour Farmers they shall find so when They come my Three-crown'd Chronicle to scan This thing 's so secret few know what I do The t' other tells both Name and Title too Nor do I only those in Commission scan Now there but every individual man Since first in fashion the King confirm'd a Farm To praise one not another may do harm Wherefore at best I 'll throw this Bauble by Because the big Book brings Authority And press no more great Sir but let you see So many Authors are assisting me To make things out both Heathenish and Heav'nly All their inventions ev'ry one as ev'nly As all the Arts and Sciences I think Could write were all the Purple Ocean Ink Here are their Names no man knows more than I And I 'll repeat them to your
my talking this The Danish Dames no man dare kiss In Complement before another Ladies only embrace their Brother But that being past should I been drown'd I swam in Shallops on the Sound Till I arriv'd at Copenhagen Where I did venture in a Waggon Though soon began to go afoot For want of one thing made me do 't I travell'd still from Town to Town Two days together ne'r sat down Where Pompey past in pomp and pride I ran could have no Horse to ride Armenia Media and Cilicia Came capering to Cappadocia A hundred houses I would wonder So poor I could pick up no plunder I wander'd where I knew not how But where I saw much more than you And through all Germany did justle Sometimes so wanton I would whistle Then I resolv'd I would go over If I should swim and drink in Dover So I came capering to Kent Next day lo I to London went Where I had much Command being horst A Captain first * 1642. that was the worst Then how I prosper'd if you please To prove I past through all degrees In Ireland now I 'll write one wonder How I have past the Pikes by plunder Bore never Arms there nevertheless Yet you shall see how Devils me dress Though I in Ireland never won ought Four hundred Knaves came out of Connaught And in my absence in an hour Stript Wife and Children did devour All things I had without within Left nothing but the naked skin My Trunks and all therein extorted And in an instant all transported A punishment perpetual Came home unto a hungry Hall My Wife and Children all did dye And left me in extremity Nor was it in a time of War But quietness as now we are Think you then since I was destroy'd So here I should be here imploy'd But being not lo I perceived How wickedly the World was waved And for the King compos'd a Book Wherein his Majesty may look And see things never seen before I hope I need not name them more But all such sorrows suffer'd I Then turn'd my Pen to Poetry Till I could tell you this and that In words that you would wonder at But if you please I shall suspend My pratling now and make an end For Rhiming proves not worth a Rush But Wind that 's blowing in a Bush Though as they say if things so fall Some blows may blow us over the Wall By such Oppressions I may speed So said the Prodigal indeed Periissem nisi periissem now No doubt he knew then what to do He also said as I collect 'um Vexatio dat Intellectum And I may speed as some suspect For this same Distich 't is so direct Remembring Ovid's well-read Rhime Principiis obsta now is the time But I speak humbly to my Prince For words few others will convince Envy with Ease Pride Power and Pelf Make men take most upon themself But all that 's here is but by wording My big Book brings a better burden There what I wrote I vow'd to do In promise and performance too But what remains must rest upon A mental Reservation But I again am gone amiss So prays you in Parenthesis To pardon me till I have wrote Some Towns by chance I have forgot From Amsterdam to Rotterdam I cannot tell well whence I came But two Towns more I 'll tell to you And then I have not much to do Hamburg is one Antwerp another Then I came home to meet my Mother The Second Part. Now if some things are here misplac't Receive two reasons Sick and Haste Though not so sick nor hasty neither To spoil my Foe nor spare my Father Be how it will please you to read I 'll give you all these when I 'm dead For you deserve no less at least Than feed a while upon my Feast Proceed then and consider why I leave you such a Legacy Delivering likewise no stoln story But very real Inventory Of all my Goods and Chattels too And every thing I thought to do Where I have been what I have seen And what fell often out between I tell my Crosses and my Losses My to 's and fro's and twenty tosses At every bait I bite a bit But all the holes I cannot hit Some points I press as Prophecy Which men may feel before they dye How these that boast now of their bravery Shall suffer and be seen in slavery For though what herein I have hinted Appear as Dreams till they be Printed But wise mens Wills are prov'd by Proby If my necessity should so be Be how it will take notice now By Pen or Print I 'll punish you Your self shall judge in Justice I Do deal with Knaves accordingly All that I say and do indeed May come to pass I pray take heed May prove a day of Doom to many And to your self assoon as any I say your self whoe're you be But means of more than two or three And so my Soul I give to God I know my Carcass but a clod Being sure my Dictates if I dye Deserve thanks of his Majesty For notwithstanding Testament Words wishes and a long complaint That attribute that doth belong To God I 'll imitate if not wrong By it being bound to wait on God Who 's long before he brings the Rod As by these following words I vow Which may fall heavy upon you Ad poenam tardus Deus est praemia velox Sed pensare solet vi graviore Moram I 'm so manured so plow'd and puzzl'd Much worse than any one that 's muzzl'd My Crosses and my Melancholy Make me write Rhimes religiously As doth appear by these you read Albe't they are not mine indeed Perpetua impietas nec mensae tempore cessat Exagitat vesana quies somnique furentes Neither at Bed nor yet at Board Will great despair small rest afford Now those these touch not to the quick With me will not a quarrel pick. Or if they do I dare defend And doubts not some may condescend But lest you say I run in rage I 'll end this purpose on this page And so shall put no more upon it But end my sorrow with a Sonnet A Sonnet My Testament consists of two Parts my false Friends I 'll tell you how First day I fell fast in a Feaver Sweating as swimming in a River Where all things not in order are Though not from purpose very far But then the next day you may find I had a well composed mind My Tongue could tattle tales in Latin As Priests can mumble mornings Mattin For whatsoever's in the end Both Rhime and Reason I 'll defend Say what you will or no or I If you refuse truth Friend you lye Howe're I 'll add no more now on it But give you time to sing this Sonnet I 'm sure now had you suffer'd such as I And by bad carriage been constrain'd to cry You would not stay to make the matter Metre Though mine be bad yours might be scarce compleat●●
though he is call'd a King ●aid Pismire sure I thank thee for the thing ●or had he not been by the Pismire prickt ●he Hearts blood of the Lyon had been lickt ●ut better causes might make Christians calm 〈◊〉 are at length set down in David's Psalm ●nless they be such as Vlysses left ●ubject to Circe with her Witches craft Whom Circe turn'd to Tygers Swine and Dogs ●nd ever after lov'd to live like Hogs ●ray quarrel not now nor call me a Knave Which if I can with other things receive ●ut this Apologue you 'll apply it best Into your selves 't is time to me to rest ●owe're take notice what the Lyon said When by the Warning he his freedom had ●uos perdere vult Jupiter such he infatuates wholly ●uos tueri vult suscitat and them defends as fully The Moral then if men might not mistake Well understood this use may of it make Look to your selves as Lyons lying sleeps Make me the Pismire that in private peeps And sees the snare as in my Monarchs mite I set it out boasting before I bite Look then about you Lyons lye in peril First thank the Pismire then conceal the quarrel And since I do apply the point so plain I hope my pratlings prove not words in vain Praxiteles and Apelles with their Skill One with his Carving the other with his Quill Could never paint your Pictures so perfit In Colours as I do in black and white This Abstract only owns you as a Glass The big Book brings you in a better dress Upon this Epitome of the Chronicle This my Abstract looks just as Janus did Two ways albeit my big Book doth forbid Such double dealing clearly doth discover Each person plainly these three Kingdoms over And of the King thinks it not much amiss Unto his Councils clearly to tell this That neither Envy Pride nor Power take place As Rehoboam's Counsellours in the case Who were Beardless Boys but prove as you appear To put good Counsel in your Soveraigns Ear And so as Wife and Valiant Captains keep Your King secure your selves in safety sleep All which the big Book brings abroad indeed Though this conveys you with a shorter thred Pro Aris Focis NOw since my Muse my mind confines Read only these ensuing Lines ●or ne'rtheless my weeping Verse 〈◊〉 may be you may hear me rehearse That of the Courser and the Ass 〈◊〉 Aesop you know how it was To put such Latin Lines in Rhime Turns to no Treason at this time Then therefore take it as ye get it ●or nolens volens I 'll repeat it 〈◊〉 learned lines and skilful Scots ●ook-bred up Boys may borrow notes 〈◊〉 cannot miss in metre mix it ●ene qui latuit bene vixit 〈◊〉 love to lurk well live well too ●oth Dives do so what say you My Lines are like my self I 'm sure ●oth bad and both become obscure And yet though both come by the by So many make Tautology Though since again I must make bold To bring in both to make you scold For both these Lines whereon you look Are both the best that 's in my Book You have more learning too than I Read them and tell me if I lye Contemnentur ab iis quos ipse Prius contempsere with a whipse Et irridentur ab iis quos ipse Prius irrisere juggling Gypsie Englished Thou shalt be laugh'd at and forlorn By those thou first didst scoff and scorn But now I should go seek a Surgeon These Lines so cruelly do scourge-on And yet your self my Judge shall be Many men merit as much of me And when my big Book goes abroad Too late to come to kiss the Rod. Mean time If Wealth doth vanish Which Pride doth banish Grieve never-ever then thereat Irus est subito qui modo Croesus erat As Irus he is poor to day Who did with Croesus Coffers play Nequa quem Si fortune me tormente Esperance me contente If Scotch and English will not do Take Latin and Italian too If four will neither do nor drive I 'll furnish French to make them five But lest by Lines I lay on loads And puzzle you by Repeating I 'll only tell of two feign'd Gods Charm'd one another by Cheating Thus. When Jupiter for Juno's sake Fell in a furious Shower Low in her Lap and nigh a Lake The only way to wooe her Even when he in his Courage came On full account to Court her Though he ran rudely like a Ram He vow'd he would not hurt her 〈◊〉 only tell some merry tales No less than half a score ●ffirming whatsoever fails He would have one word more ●hen Juno though she lov'd the jest Call'd Jupiter a Jew ●urning her T to him in hast She said Great Sir adieu ●nd so say I for should my Muse Make Rhimes as I make room ●hen we should have enough of News Until the Day of Doom Epistle Dedicatory Epistles come first but this being Curst comes last TO all I aim at one and other To Learned Bards being born a Brother 1. At Juggling Jesters enter I The subject of my Theam And if I cannot such descry Let me then be by them 2. Thousands of such are summon'd in And in effect found faulty ●ejected so dare not begin To plead one grain Not Guilty 3. Of all the ills whereat my Pen Doth point and I believe Amongst such multitudes of men Some prove superlative 4. In Envy Avarice and even That sin that shut the Gates Against the Angels once in Heaven Destroying all Estates 5. Pride which my Pen cannot express And malice with it mixt Drown'd in the depth by drunkenness With Sodoms sins annext 6. Base Pride that doth the Flock infect For those that over-look The Sheep do not the sore dissect They want the Scriptures Crook 7. For when the Shepherds self is so Puft up with Pride the people Must perish haughty * Herds 〈◊〉 Herds you know Do scorn to keep the Cripple 8. Such cursed faults confounding all Of high and low degree That when they come to me the names to call My self scapes not Scot-free 9. For Pride surpassing in a man Especially a Preacher Whose Tongue was train'd not to trepan By being like a Lecher 10. And still to Paraphrase on Pride The Pulpit most polluting On such when simple Flocks confide The success must be suiting 11. But I 'm inform'd you fret that I Preach in so poor a Pulpit When I with Patience must comply Because I cannot help it 12. And yet although you see me from Employment so suspended I doubt not but the day shall come Perchance King Charles may mend it 13. However I 'll now employ my powers To weigh your woes with mine And every eight and forty hours One with the other Dine 14. But that you have too deep a Dish For me to dip into Though always wallowing in your wish May you indeed undo 15. I know the Act you 'r angry at My Mote lyes
But you would scold and pierce their Pride in Prose Rather than see the game go as it goes And to retalliate not your strength restrain Though I have wasted my fair words in vain Now cast's my cause in Chronicles between 'um My King and Courtiers closing Respice finem Two Witnesses make every question clear Then by that rule no man can call me Lyer My Muse and I did on these Secrets sit And so gave Sentence as we found was fit Though here are Millions meeting at the Bar To two conditions all reduced are Or Good or Guilty no party hath appeal'd The Verdict's past so is the Sentence seal'd Reader My Book is now no better than a Bird bound to the good behaviour of a Herd That hath it fast between his hungry hands As now my Book at your Tribunal stands Waiting the Verdict of a dangerous dozen Whose factious Fore-man faithlesly undoes one But I despair not Vertue wins reward I play above-board when I cast my Card. And though I do the Bargain dearly buy The Mite belongs to millions more than I. Weigh then the words wherewith I waste my Wit And you shall see your self concern'd in it My main Mistake is in my method most For of my matter I may boldly boast But that I venture with a hand so high To put advice unto his Majesty Upon Record things being so sublime The King can scarcely cure it all this time Unless my Soveraign in such moral matters Try by the Touch-stone as we all are Cheaters To cure the Canker which I do implore My Monarch may but I dare move no more Because the fault wherein I dive I do Repent and yet repeats it to you too For which on such much though I so insist I 'm pardon'd when the Kings hands I have kist The Conclusion Now I 'm perswaded I present A piece so poorly pollisht That every Babler will be bent To have my Book abolisht But since you see within the thing So many Authors are And that it so concerns the King If you be wise beware Besides if all are subjects sure I 'm one amongst the rest And would a Dunghil Dog endure to be by Pride supprest No no the basest Beast I 'll bring That creeps to scape your scorns The Snail I say that silly thing Being hurt shoots out his Horns But to conclude with calmness now My Flesh was in a flame I shall say soberly to you Par pari referam Navita de ventis de tauris narrat Arator Enumerat Miles vulnera Pastor oves Souldiers and Sailers Shepherds Plow-men speak Of Sheep of Oxen Winds Wounds all the week Cadgers talk too of Saddles things to carry So I would tell you had I time to tarry That in this Abstract I 'd consess but cannot The four last ride the first 's a Souldier shannot Better been Shepherd Cadger Sailer Plow-man Than Souldier through seven Kingdoms that 's for you m● And me too m● A Sonnet These Abstracts are but as the Morning-Star Which goes before a larger light by far So when the big Book goes abroad be sure I think you shall its dazzling not endure For as a Cloud eclipse the clearest Sky The Chronicle covers the Abstracts that 's no lye Then happy is he whose Errors I omit But who can say he has deserved it Let me lye at Bethesda's Pool but not Come in for cure Knaves can keep out a Scot. Our Soveraign sees a Rhime can render reason And Solomon says a thing that 's said in season Is sweet and sure according to my Skill I say I thank you in my Chronicle A Paraphrase upon these Abstracts Abstracts are but the bits of good and ill This is the Quintessence of my Chronicle And Abstracts only shew things but in shorts Quintessence all within one word imports Even so you can by Quintessence conceive The full effect things can you not deceive Abstracts of Abstracts may abstracted be As by this Abstract you receive you see And since this Pamphlet plainly doth appear The Abstract of three Nations now so near Although I thought the substance of the thing Was more than I in such a Book could bring Now ne'rtheless I find I might forborn 〈◊〉 have mention'd Ireland and my Wits not worn On such a Subject or the Subjects in it Its Abstract grieves me that I did begin it Because upon Experience I may spell Mens Sur-names and then in an Abstract tell Their Imperfections and in effect afford Their faults and fix their frailties on Record As in a Prospect things do seem though far As fair as when nigh to the Eye they are And as in Maps a man may Mountains measure And in few Figures cast up Croesus Treasure So in this Abstract though you think you see Motes in a mist yet you may trust to me To make each Mote much like a Mountain All The Abstract is as a Partition-wall Which I 'll remove so shall you surely see These few lines following an Epitome Of all the pains my Prayers could not prevent Till I proclaim'd them by this Complement Seeing some here such sorrows never suffer'd As I but when a fair occasion offer'd Although one place them certain thousands paid They plead for two untill they are array'd In Robes that 's rich and till they really rise Puft up with Pride poor Souls to Sacrifice Which when I saw their ways so vicious I Imploy'd my Pen these praises to display 1. Ignoble natures nigh innate in all 2. And who can me a wrong Accomptant call 3. All are unthankful signs are seen in me 4. And though you fret you find your self not free 5. Wherefore for all your Pride expect in Print 6. Largely laid out but whereat here I hint 7. No Conscience nor firm friendship find I neither 8. In many most men are unrighteous rather To spend more Paper and to spoyl my Pen Falsly to flatter such unfaithful men I 'll not but say since most men me so urge Pious St. Patrick could not such people purge Wherefore some shall be forc'd for what I say From where they are but better been away Turpius ejicitur quam non admittitur Hospes To such if any are as censure my sayings No man can act Acts humouring every ear More than these humours I have acted here If then you censure any Act at all That 's in my Ark or from my fancies fall Then for that Act lo I this Act allow Amend my fault e're I will fall on you The Act being easie Verses to envy Know I the man I 'll make the Critick cry By heaping heavy burdens on his back Unless he mend the main mistakes I make And I believe had you been baffled by Them so your self would write worse Verse than I For failing not to turn up my Abstracts You 'll find that I was urg'd to all my Acts And if the Act be easie too to try If twenty years acts in extremity Might tempt a man to venture words