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A85540 October the 22. 1649. The three-penny cooks fat in the fire, or rhe [sic] downefall of as-in-presentis; or the schoole-master under the black-rod. Or the brain-breakers breaker newly broke out againe. By Thomas Grantham, master in art of Peter-house in Cambridge, heretofore professor in Bowlane and Mug-well-street neere Barber Chyrurgions Hall: now over against Graies Inn Gate in Holborne, at Master Bulls. Grantham, Thomas, d. 1664. 1642 (1642) Wing G1560; Thomason E575_26; ESTC R206345 8,397 12

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October the 22. 1649. The Three-penny Cooks fat in the fire Or the downefall of As-in-presentie Or the Schoole-master under the Black-rod Or the Brain-breakers breaker newly broke out againe By Thomas Grantham Master in art of Peter-house in Cambridge Heretofore Professor in Bowlane and Mugwell-street neere Barbar Chyrurgions Hall Now over against Graies Inn Gate in Holborne at Master Bulls Printed for Thomas Pabody in Queenes-head-Alley in Pater-noster-row 1650. VPon a time walking by my selfe I fell into contemplation of my former life and of all the miseries that befell me either by my inconsideratenesse and rashnesse or Gods justice upon me for my sins And although I added weight to some of those crosses by taking them more heavily then I ought to have done Yet I found nothing crucifi'd me so much as my long and tedious going to the Schoole how many showers of teares how many streams of blood And I was cuffed as if the Messenger of Satan had beene sent to buffit me and after two seaven years spent constantly in this Bride-well so that I was nineteene or twenty yeares of age I could not understand so much Latine as a sucking Child nor speak so much as a spelling Child Methought it was strange that a Child should suck in more with Milke then I should get with so many drops of Blood having so much advantage of yeares but some will say it may be you were very dull in learning if I were never so dull nor never so stupid nor never so blockish was this cruelty a way to quicken me But some will say wee know the misery 's so great that many of us had rather have our Children ignorant then learn with so much torment Therefore the time will be better spent by me in showing the remedy and that is my task at this present 1. Remedy One remedy against this Epidemicall disease is let a Boy learn his Grammer Aschams way which way those learned Schooles beyond Seas doe highly commend that is to understand within Booke and to apply every necessary Rule It makes no matter whether he can say his Grammer word by word without Booke or no if he can give the sence without Booke and turne to the Rule within Booke it is sufficient No University man no great Scholler can say his Grammer word by word without Booke no not the Master himselfe and yet he whips the Schollers for that he cannot doe himself If a man remember there is such a Rule or such a sence of the R●l● it suffices No Grammer have the same words the sense is all wee looke for and so soone as wee come to the University wee forget to say our Rules word by word without book may scorn and deride him that doth it Thus this many yeares great labour is lost in a moneth or two and is so farre from profiting that it becomes rediculous Consider also the Grammers which were before Lilly were some of them almost as bigge as a Church-Bible if you take out the Apocrypha and Common-Prayer Now to learne these word by word without Booke was a taske passing the patience of an Asse Upon this Erasmus concludeth that Grammer it selfe is enough to make a man spend his whole life in tortures Ascham in his first Book hath these words so as the Grammer-booke be alwayes in the Schollers hand and also used of him as a Dictionary for every present use this is a lively and perfect way for teaching of Rules where the common way used in common Schooles to reade the Grammer alone by it selfe is tedious for the Master hard for the Sholler cold and uncomfortable fur them both Now you see according to Ascham the Grammer must be used as a Dictionary and he that knowes any thing knowes that a Dictionary is not to be learned word by word without Booke therefore not a Grammer He tells you in this place that it is tedious to a Scholler let any man consider who hath not the patience of an Asse what a tedious thing it is to have all the Grammer or most part of it lapt up in his head word by word and presently to apply every Rule word by word or else up he goes if he were as good as George a Greene Read Ascham in his second Booke these are his words I remember when I was young in the North there went to the Grammer-schoole little Children they came from thence great Lubbars always learning and little profiting learning without booke every thing understanding within book little or nothing their whole knowledge by learning without the booke was tyed only to their tongue and lips and never ascended up to the braine and head and therefore was soone spit out of the mouth againe they were as men alwayes going but ever out of the way and why For their whole labour or rather great toyle without order was even vaine idlenesse without profit Indeed they tooke great paines about learning but imployed small labour in learning when by this way prescribed in this Booke being strait plain and easie the Scholler is alwayes labouring with pleasure and ever going on forward with profit Here this Scholler famous all over Christendome and the glory of his Kingdom for Languages tells you learning without booke was vain idlenesse without profit He tells you they tooke great paines about learning but imployed small labour in learning Erasmus the restorer of the Fathers Greeke and Latine the greatest Writer in his time incomperable for Wit Learning and Eloquence hath the same words some make it their greatest care to learne the Rules word by word without book which thing saith he I allow not of for it is great paines to no purpose nor profit all Brinsley a famous Schoole-Master in his Booke called A Consolation for our Grammer Schooles writes of one Master Tovey a Schoole-master equall to the best that teaching Aschums way that is only the sense of the Rules brought a Nobleman to a perfection beyond all expectation Comenins a man admired for his quicknesse in teaching the Languages hath writ sharply against this dog-bolt way Innumerable are the learned men who have sought to take away the servitude and slavery that Youth hath undergone some Authors I have quoted in my Animadversions upon Cambdens Greeke Grammer made for the use of Westminster-Schoole and I have shewed and I will shew more hereafter That it is a false obscure imperfect Gammer abounding with above twelve grosse errors besides many little ones and those who are Schoole masters of great Schooles and make men beleeve they know much when alas it is very little they know they might blush if they had any shame to let so many errours goe uncorrected in a Grammer which is the foundation of a Language If Foundations be false and rotten what will the building be I need not spend much time upon this point because I have represented in a Comedy often acted by my Schollers the Cruelty Folly and Non-sense of Common School-masters which I
home when they say I make Schollers unfit for other Schooles truly I conf●ss● it I teach without any correction and they teach with correction and in this we differ We teach to understand the Rules first and they teach to learne without booke first in this we differ Our Schollers understanding the Rules and often applying them the Rules come without booke whether they will or no Then we differ in severity Some keepe their Schollers so strictly for four or five houres that they allow them not so much as a mouthfull of fresh aire not so much as to ease nature I have read and heard many Schollers speake against this severitie Let a Boy be tyed three or four hours to that Game he likes best and let him be soundly cuft and whipped when he doth not play his Game well you shall see this Boy as weary of his play as his Booke and the reason is because of great severity Socra●es the wisest man of his time and many who have writ concerning the instruction of youth often say Learning must be taught with Love and some Schollers at London being thus taught seriously professe they had rather come to Schoole then goe about any pleasure or delight Remedyes 3. First there are three things most necessary in a Language the Words the Stile and the Rule For the words a Boy may easily learne a thousand words in ten dayes that is a hundred words in a day Suppose a man allow an houre for twentie words in five houres he learneth a hundred words I have taught some that have learned a hundred words in an houre but I doe not meane after the silly Fustian way of learning in the common Schooles to say them all by rote like a Parriot but let him have an hundred English words and a hundred Latine words printed or writ he shall tell you Latine for English and this is the Latine I meane and he that understandeth a thousand must needs understand many thousands more for many Derivatives Compounds De-compounds are understood by the helpe of the Simples and he that understands thus much will understand most Authors he reades Remedy 2. Secondly for stile take this example there is a certaine Bird called a Dotterell this Bird if you see him thrust out his right wing thrust you out your right arme and if he thrust out his left leg thrust out yours and thus by imitating of him you will come so neere till you take him in your hands and so in an Author where you see him place his Adjective Adverb or Conjunction doe you so too and by this imitation you will catch the strain of your Author and come to a great perfection if you imitate but six leavs in a translation which you may doe in six dayes then you may come neere the straine of your Author Remedy 3. For the Rules teach thus Consider there are eight parts of speech for the foure that are undeclined I bid my Scholler take very little care because they are not varied nor declined at all you find them every where after the same manner Of the other foure I bid him take care but of two that is a Nowne and a Verb for a pronoune is much like a noune know one know the other a Participle that takes part of a Noune a Verbe both those known the Participle is known So here is but two chiefly to be cared for that is a Noune and a Verb but be sure to understand the definition of every part of Speech not word by word without Booke but the sense of it I cannot follow this point any further take some Propositions Proposition first My councell is to take away al the Revenus that belong to Free-Schooles and other Schools and let it be committed to a Treasurer and every one in any part of the Kingdome that makes a Scholler fit for the University hee shall have ten pounds out of the Common stock and the Scholler preferred if he make him fit to be an Apprentice to a Chyrurgion or a Lawyers Clark he shal have five pounds by this means none shall have any mony but those that deserve it Prop. second Let any man judge whether they or I teach the best was it ever knowne that any Graduate in the University or Master of Art Physitian Lawyer ever came to their School-Masters to better themselves in the Languages whereas all my gaines and practice many times in the yeare have been chiefly by these men Prop. third Their Schollers before they go to the University come to me a Moneth or two to be oyled over professe they profited more in that time with me then they did before in foure Yeares Prop. fourth they will make a man believe that a Boy is a Poet and able to make Theams and Verses now these Boys can neither speake Latine nor understand an Author and will any think a man to be a Freench Poet when he cannot speake French or a good Orator when he cannot understand it these Verses are onely patched up of phrases a meere delusion see more of this in my six quoeries to the Free-Schooles in and about London printed three yeares agoe and not yet answered At that time had I followed my blow the Free-Schools had been absolutely routed and never able to rally or recruit againe and I set up a Challenge in the Exchange to all the Schooles in London or thereabouts seaven to seaven which stood nine dayes Our Schoole stood open to all examination for one whole yeare and when the best Schollers of one of the primest Schooles in London contended with ours there was a Gentleman of the Innes of Court that delivered in a Latin Speech Vobis laudem ●llis palman tribuo I give you praise saith he to the Schollers of that great Schoole but I give Master Granthams Schollers the Victory All that I shall say in this great hast is I desire that there may be an act of Oblivion of the abuses and mistakes of both parties and that wee may all joyne together and study Reformation of the Schooles that Schoole-masters may no longer make Merchandize of the precious time of Youth which is of that great height that it is many times the destruction of Soule and Body and if the sin of scandall shall deserve the weight of a Mill-stone what shall he deserve that keepes Youth many yeares in teaching and can shew no progresse to the purpose Imployment now cuts me off but I should be happy in London before Authority to have a dispute with these Schoole-masters and that there may be an account taken of every Boy that goes to Schoole what he is when he goes and how much he hath profited when he comes away I Will undertake in two Monethes to make him that can reade English to conster an Author in Latine and Greeke he shall make Greeke and Latine Verses and Orations and his progresse in Hebrew shall be correspondent and because men may thinke that a man doeth this for Mony I will desire but two shillings a day whilst I teach for the publike good and al the rest shall goe for charitable uses only I desire that I may make choyce of what kind of charity the Mony may be bestowed on Now to that God that hath commanded love and charity amongst us be all Honour and Glory for ever c. Herculea cecidisse manu tot monsta negamus Quot Methodo Calamo iam perierie tuo The hand of Hercules did never kill Such Monsters as thy Method and great Skill CAnst thou that art full twenty yeares and more Tremble and shake to heare thy Master roare Like a storme frighted Sea-man oh yee Fooles How does all wise men laugh to scorne your Schooles Thou humbly on a Horse hangs down thy head And a fierce Rod thy Buttocks over-spred Or horst upon an Asse much like to thee Horse Oxe and Asse injoy more liberty At every stroke thy trembling Buttocks quake Like two great Custards that are newly bak't Teares trickle from thy Buttocks from thine Eye Who can hut laugh to see this Booby cry Younger then thee dare on the Cannon goe In spight of fire and flame confront their Foe And when a Bullet flyes in full carreere They scorne to stirre or starte aside for feare Then rouse brave Spirits boyes and you shall see A way to learne with all facility The Latin's call a Schoole a learned Play And so is mine 't is alwayes Holiday In twenty dayes I 'le fit you for a Gowne If you 'l but leave this play of Hose goe downe Mans life is short but Art is long they say O happy 's he that goes the nearest way Homer discribes his God flying with speed Shooting his Arrowes till the Grecians bleede The ●●gels good and bad have wings the Sun The light of lights how swiftly does he run The Goddesses came down like shooting starrs When Greece and Troy were at their bloody Wars Homer does say the horses of the Sun So farre as one can see at one step run I hate the Snaile the Crab the flow pac't ●●sse That hums and drums out a foire Houre-Glasse The Creatures in the Law had foure feete God dam'd because they could not gos but creepe And he that creepes and slugs at whipping Schoole The flower of his age I call a Poole If on Pernasses-hill one did but sleepe Or on the Muses-well chance to drinke deepe Then would he sing such Verses and such Rimes As made him live for everlasting times All this condemns your cuffing whipping Schooles That spend so many yeares to make men Fooles Thou that dost strike where Christ himself doth kisse Let any judge how far thou do'st amisse Thou that dost cuffe those whom he did imbrace How canst thou answer 't to thy Masters Face Raptim
intend to Print as soon as I can Looke upon Aschams successe in this way in his first booke he speakes thus of Queene Elizabeth It is your shame I speake to you all you young Gentlemen of England that one Maid should goe beyond you all in excellency of Learning and knowledge of divers tongues point forth six of the best given Gentlemen of this Court and they altogether shew not so much will not spend so much time bestow not so many houres dayly orderly and constantly for the increase of Learning and Knowlidge as doth the Queenes Majesty here Yea I beleeve th●t besides her perfect readinesse in Latine Italian French and Spanish she did reade more Geeke every day then some Prebbendary of this Church doth read Latine in a whole weeke And that which is most praise-worthy of all within the Walls of her Privy-Chamber she hath obtained that excellency of Learning to understand speake and write both wittily with head and faire with hand as scarce one or two rare Wits in both the Universities have in many yeares reached unto Among all the Benefits that God hath blessed me withall next the knowledge of Christs true Religion I count this the greatest that it pleased God to cal me to be one poore Minister in setting forward these excellent Gifts of Learning in this most excellent Prince Looke upon his successe in his second Booke amongst many others one Witney a most accomplished Gentleman these are his words I gave him a translation to turne into Latine which he did so choisely so orderly without any great misse in the hardest points of Grammer that some in seven yeares in Grammer-schooles yea and some in the Universities too cannot doe halfe so well and this perfection be obtained from Christmas to Alhallowes-tide this Scholler was altogether ignorant of the Latine Tongue and the Rules before Now briefly take some few Reasons against this way of saying word by word without Booke All Arts as Geometree Arithmetick Logick Navigation men attaine too and never learne Rule word by word without booke and what offence hath Grammer done that it must be cuft into a Boy word by word without booke If learning without booke word by word be necessary for the understanding of a thing then it is before a Boy understands or after he understands Now for a Boy to learne without booke like a Parret that he understands not is very laborious and rediculous and to learne without booke after he understands that is to no purpose for the Master understanding himselfe the sense of the Rule neglects saying word by word without booke and whips Shollers for that he cannot doe himselfe If saying without book word by word be profitable to the understanding then he that saith best without booke understands best but this is false there are many that can say much Scripture without book but understand not so well as those that can say none Take this instance Christopher Grecu● Clerk of a g●eat Parish a man of threescore yeares and ten he can say all the Psalmes without booke and yet I dare not trust him to apply a Psalm after my Sermon I have had Boyes come from common Schooles could say all the Grammer word for word without booke and yet could not make halfe a Line of true Latine and that which is most absurd of all they teach a Boy to make Latine by the Latine Rules when a Boy understands not Latine just as if a man should teach one an art in French when he understands not French then there are many Boyes can say without book to their Companions or by themselves but the Master strutting with the Rod in his hand and his imperious looke and threatning puts a Boy cleare out as for a Master to talk thus to a Boy Sirra I le smoke you I le make your Buttocks blush I le make you feare me these words confound a Boy and fright him out of all If a Boy be to say this Rule A●ectives that signifie fulnesse emptinesse plenty c. If he mis-place a word although the sense be the same presently the Master fells him all along where as some Grammers have the first words last and the last words first the sense being still the same Observe Doctor Webs words in his appeale to truth now if Gammer should be the best course to Languages and Kings may have their choice of best courses I wonder what Grammers were made by Mithridates and that makes me wonder more we that have no businesse but a Language spend all our life and are not perfect in one and he that had a Kingdoms affairs to look upon had two and tw●nty compleat Languages Now if a Language cannot be got but by learning word for word without book then Mithridates who had a Kingdomes affairs to look to must learn two twentie Grammars word by word without booke and to learne a Grammer in this manner will take up five yeares to be compleat in a Language as he was wil be at least five years more which reckoned make up two hundred and twentie yeares Now Mithridates lived not a quarter of the time Doctor Webbe in that learned work quotes above a hundred learned men who envey bitterly against Grammarians and he undertakes to prove by learned Authors that a Language may be learned without a Grammer which needs no proofe at all to men of common sense How many are there that can speake French and Latine that never saw a Grammar Many young Gentlemen and Gentlewomen have learned to speake French in halfe a yeare who never knew any Latine Doctor Webbe names many Noblemen who speake Latine excellent well at five yeares of age having nothing but Latine spoken to them before And I have knowne many who spoke Latine and French admirable well and understood Greeke very well in a twelve-moneth And this is easily done by joyning Doctor Webbes way with Aschams I had Boyes when I was in London who had beene but one yeare at most with me and in these foure points we challenged any Schoole in London First who understands the Greeke and Latine Grammers best in Accents and Dialects and all things necessary Secondly who understands a Greek and Latin Authour best Thirdly who can prove a Greeke or Latine Verse best Fourthly who can make a Greeke or Latine Oration or a Greeke and Latine Verse best and soonest and the highest of my Schollars was but fifteene yeares of age and the second to him but ten Some I had I confesse could not doe a quarter so much which was no fault of mine For I often told them if they were carelesse and would not mind and would not learne without cuffling pulling lugging and whipping they must goe to Masters that delight in this way of teaching They may be taught in many places very reasonably this way as for a noble or seven shillings a quarter at some Free-Schooles they may have it for nothing Some Schoole-Masters thinke they pay me