high_a and_o abstract_a nature_n of_o the_o very_a content_n of_o the_o book_n partly_o through_o the_o great_a length_n of_o the_o period_n partly_o through_o the_o multitude_n sometime_o of_o parenthesis_n even_o in_o the_o same_o sentence_n partly_o through_o her_o forbear_n to_o use_v those_o particle_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o say_a sentence_n as_o namely_o for_o but_o yet_o therefore_o and_o the_o like_a without_o which_o it_o be_v not_o always_o so_o easy_a to_o discern_v whether_o the_o discourse_n be_v either_o continue_v or_o interrupt_v or_o end_v and_o partly_o &_o cheiflie_o by_o the_o ill_a print_n and_o worse_o point_v of_o all_o the_o spanish_a copy_n which_o i_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o see_v all_o which_o i_o be_o fain_a to_o allege_v by_o way_n of_o a_o humble_a excuse_n for_o whatsoever_o error_n i_o may_v have_v involuntarilie_o commit_v in_o this_o case_n but_o howsoever_o i_o here_o present_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o this_o excellent_a saint_n and_o to_o the_o consolation_n of_o these_o child_n of_o she_o who_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o counterpoise_n to_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o live_v but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v translate_v the_o work_n a_o certain_a wise_a &_o worthy_a man_n &_o my_o friend_n take_v knowledge_n of_o it_o and_o desire_v i_o by_o a_o very_a earnest_a letter_n of_o he_o to_o usher_v this_o book_n into_o the_o world_n with_o a_o preface_n of_o my_o own_o which_o may_v open_v the_o reader_n eye_n the_o more_o easy_o to_o behold_v the_o saint_n when_o she_o follow_v and_o so_o also_o to_o give_v some_o notice_n of_o her_o child_n who_o be_v follow_v she_o and_o though_o i_o allege_v my_o reason_n why_o this_o may_v be_v less_o necessary_o do_v yet_o still_o he_o urge_v i_o to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o make_v his_o will_n i_o own_o and_o accord_o shall_v speak_v a_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n i_o say_v some_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n for_o whosoever_o have_v study_v the_o person_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n well_o will_v find_v so_o much_o to_o say_v as_o if_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o say_v all_o he_o may_v do_v well_o not_o to_o begin_v since_o it_o will_v never_o be_v in_o his_o power_n to_o make_v a_o end_n such_o a_o full_a sea_n be_v this_o excellent_a saint_n of_o all_o perfection_n which_o have_v neither_o bottom_n nor_o brim_n i_o will_v therefore_o say_v very_o little_a of_o she_o here_o and_o that_o shall_v cheiflie_o tend_v to_o let_v you_o see_v how_o high_o this_o life_n which_o be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o be_v authorise_v and_o how_o punctuallie_o it_o deserve_v to_o be_v believe_v forasmuch_o as_o may_v any_o way_n concern_v the_o truth_n of_o the_o historical_a part_n thereof_o as_o also_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o order_n which_o she_o both_o reform_v and_o erect_v but_o for_o the_o present_a you_o may_v first_o be_v please_v to_o consider_v that_o we_o find_v the_o life_n of_o saint_n to_o be_v write_v by_o three_o several_a kind_n of_o person_n for_o some_o be_v deliver_v by_o man_n who_o be_v only_o eminent_a in_o the_o historical_a way_n and_o they_o deserve_v to_o be_v esteem_v and_o believe_v for_o the_o merit_n of_o that_o worth_n which_o shall_v appear_v whatsoever_o it_o fallout_a to_o be_v the_o second_o sort_n be_v when_o the_o writer_n be_v not_o only_o worthy_a man_n but_o be_v withal_o so_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o to_o be_v acknowledge_v by_o the_o christian_a world_n for_o saint_n as_o s._n athanasius_n who_o write_v the_o life_n of_o s._n anthony_n s._n epiphanius_n of_o several_a prophet_n s._n hierome_n of_o s._n paul_n and_o s._n hilarion_n both_o of_o they_o heremite_n s._n gregory_n the_o great_a of_o s._n bennet_n s._n bonaventure_n of_o the_o humble_a and_o admire_a s._n francis_n and_o the_o like_a who_o deserve_v a_o far_o high_a credit_n than_o the_o former_a in_o regard_n that_o the_o writer_n be_v saint_n the_o three_o be_v when_o saint_n themselves_o write_v their_o own_o life_n as_o the_o incomparable_a s._n augustin_n do_v a_o great_a part_n of_o he_o in_o the_o divine_a book_n of_o his_o confession_n upon_o the_o excess_n &_o admiration_n wherein_o he_o be_v at_o the_o unspeakable_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o remove_v all_o the_o misery_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o the_o relation_n of_o such_o life_n as_o these_o be_v incomparable_o of_o the_o most_o credit_n of_o all_o for_o first_o no_o body_n know_v so_o well_o what_o pass_v concern_v a_o man_n as_o himself_o and_o saint_n be_v very_o far_o from_o say_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o exact_o true_a and_o especial_o if_o the_o saint_n be_v such_o as_o that_o they_o be_v also_o endue_v with_o very_o great_a natural_a part_n of_o wit_n and_o memory_n and_o judgement_n forasmuch_o as_o concern_v the_o brain_n or_o understanding_n as_o they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v with_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n &_o candour_n forasmuch_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o hart_n or_o will._n for_o as_o these_o moral_a part_n will_v keep_v they_o from_o deceive_a other_o so_o the_o intellectual_a will_v secure_v they_o from_o be_v deceive_v themselves_o and_o will_v make_v they_o define_v and_o divide_v and_o suspect_v and_o doubt_v and_o ask_v before_o they_o full_o resolve_v to_o believe_v &_o much_o more_o before_o they_o will_v publish_v thing_n to_o the_o world_n and_o now_o as_o the_o incomparable_a s._n augustin_n be_v call_v by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o own_o great_a sin_n and_o god_n great_a mercy_n to_o declare_v his_o life_n in_o the_o never_o enough_o admire_v book_n of_o his_o confession_n so_o also_o do_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n the_o self_n same_o thing_n in_o effect_n in_o this_o book_n but_o by_o direction_n of_o her_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o that_o he_o do_v so_o much_o as_o incline_v she_o to_o publish_v she_o own_o imperfection_n and_o sin_n nay_o rather_o he_o do_v the_o direct_a contrary_n but_o only_o to_o declare_v her_o form_n of_o prayer_n together_o with_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o therein_o but_o now_o she_o upon_o that_o occasion_n will_v needs_o make_v she_o own_o process_n in_o view_n of_o the_o world_n &_o show_v as_o incident_a to_o the_o rest_n how_o ill_o she_o have_v comply_v with_o almighty_a god_n from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v she_o in_o effect_n weave_v that_o great_a piece_n of_o rich_a cloth-of-gold_n and_o tislue_v which_o concern_v almost_o the_o history_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n and_o now_o the_o same_o be_v hungout_n abroad_o to_o the_o view_v of_o the_o world_n but_o yet_o among_o all_o the_o excellency_n thereof_o there_o be_v one_o thing_n which_o displease_v many_o worthy_a wise_a &_o holy_a man_n or_o at_o least_o which_o please_v they_o less_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o it_o be_v that_o whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o question_n at_o all_o of_o herself_o in_o order_n either_o to_o virtue_n or_o vice_n she_o will_v never_o trust_v she_o own_o eye_n though_o they_o be_v so_o clear_a and_o good_a as_o the_o world_n know_v but_o she_o resolve_v to_o work_v with_o perspective-glass_n of_o different_a yea_o &_o even_o contrary_a kind_n for_o when_o she_o describe_v her_o virtue_n she_o serve_v herself_o of_o a_o diminishing-glasse_n which_o make_v they_o seem_v so_o little_a as_o to_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n when_o she_o give_v account_n of_o her_o imperfection_n she_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n know_v they_o by_o any_o other_o name_n then_o of_o vice_n and_o sin_n because_o she_o take_v a_o multiplying-glass_n to_o herself_o for_o fear_n lest_o else_o those_o molehill_n shall_v not_o seem_v mountain_n now_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o this_o wel-meaning_n and_o holy_a kind_n of_o error_n which_o she_o incur_v if_o any_o error_n may_v well_o deserve_v so_o indulgent_a a_o name_n she_o give_v herself_o too_o great_a scope_n if_o the_o reader_n will_v needs_o take_v she_o at_o her_o word_n to_o violate_v she_o own_o excellent_a fame_n by_o certain_a too_o venturous_a dash_v of_o her_o pen_n which_o be_v drive_v too_o too_o hasty_o on_o by_o the_o impulse_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o inordinate_a humility_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o if_o a_o body_n be_v dispose_v to_o trust_v his_o eye_n alone_o without_o his_o reason_n he_o may_v be_v easy_o draw_v to_o pass_v a_o very_a erroneous_a judgement_n upon_o her_o soul_n for_o she_o will_v tell_v you_o in_o twenty_o place_n of_o this_o book_n what_o a_o grievous_a sinner_n she_o be_v what_o a_o multitude_n of_o great_a sin_n she_o have_v in_o her_o conceit_n commit_v
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o
have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v most_o particular_o serve_v and_o glorify_v by_o it_o and_o that_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v consecrate_v themselves_o to_o he_o therein_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v holy_a and_o happy_a in_o a_o very_a eminent_a degree_n as_o long_o as_o they_o will_v continue_v attentive_a and_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v from_o that_o spirit_n which_o be_v derive_v to_o they_o from_o heaven_n through_o s._n teresa_n by_o her_o prayer_n and_o tear_n and_o other_o holy_a mean_n which_o spirit_n of_o she_o though_o it_o evident_o appear_v both_o by_o the_o exercise_n and_o example_n of_o all_o heroical_a virtue_n yet_o particular_o it_o seem_v to_o aim_v and_o point_n at_o the_o regular_a and_o constant_a use_n of_o recollection_n &_o mental_a prayer_n whereof_o she_o speak_v often_o and_o with_o most_o particular_a desire_n and_o care_n and_o appoint_v two_o hour_n to_o be_v employ_v every_o day_n therein_o beside_o all_o other_o devotion_n of_o any_o kind_n which_o be_v practise_v by_o all_o her_o holy_a religious_a and_o be_v real_o that_o time_n which_o give_v they_o more_o abundant_a joy_n than_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o indeed_o she_o take_v many_o occasion_n not_o only_o to_o recommend_v it_o earnest_o to_o the_o child_n and_o successor_n of_o her_o own_o order_n but_o exhort_v also_o all_o creature_n who_o will_v have_v the_o happiness_n to_o be_v the_o true_a servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o take_v fast_o hold_v by_o this_o anchor_n in_o their_o navigation_n through_o the_o sea_n of_o this_o world_n in_o which_o sea_n not_o only_o they_o who_o be_v best_a ship_v but_o even_o such_o other_o also_o as_o have_v be_v cast_v over_o board_n from_o grace_n into_o the_o storm_n and_o tempest_n of_o a_o sinful_a life_n may_v yet_o by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n prove_v able_a yea_o and_o moral_o certain_a through_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o recover_v the_o assure_a port_n of_o salvation_n for_o in_o the_o judgement_n of_o this_o 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must_v indeed_o be_v whole_o not_o only_o from_o the_o firm_a purpose_n of_o commit_v any_o sin_n whether_o it_o be_v great_a or_o small_a but_o even_o from_o the_o very_o fasten_v her_o affection_n in_o any_o manner_n of_o inordinate_a way_n to_o any_o creature_n of_o any_o kind_n though_o yet_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v unlawful_a in_o itself_o and_o a_o most_o particular_a care_n must_v also_o be_v take_v by_o all_o such_o as_o will_v follow_v the_o footstep_n &_o direction_n of_o this_o glorious_a saint_n upon_o which_o she_o press_v so_o very_o often_o &_o so_o very_o hard_o in_o twenty_o place_n of_o this_o excellent_a work_n that_o a_o soul_n which_o pretend_v to_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o this_o kind_n as_o she_o ought_v must_v resolve_v both_o very_o faithful_o &_o very_o early_o to_o dispose_v herself_o to_o do_v it_o with_o true_a &_o perfect_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n that_o be_v with_o a_o absolute_a intention_n &_o determination_n to_o do_v it_o mere_o because_o it_o be_v the_o holy_a will_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n and_o because_o he_o have_v make_v it_o the_o mean_n whereby_o she_o may_v obtain_v the_o pardon_n of_o her_o sin_n and_o acquire_v all_o christian_a virtue_n through_o increase_n of_o grace_n and_o pay_v both_o frequent_a &_o ardent_a act_n of_o homage_n &_o grief_n &_o love_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n &_o procure_v a_o imitation_n of_o those_o heroical_a virtue_n which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o express_v in_o his_o bitter_a passion_n and_o above_o all_o thing_n the_o saint_n require_v we_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o have_v any_o mercenary_a respect_n at_o all_o to_o receive_v gust_n &_o spiritual_a delight_n or_o other_o high_a favour_n from_o he_o in_o this_o life_n but_o to_o remit_v all_o such_o thing_n to_o the_o next_o and_o so_o that_o we_o may_v ever_o do_v he_o true_a service_n to_o leave_v it_o with_o all_o indifferency_n &_o conformity_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n whether_o he_o will_v dispense_v all_o his_o favour_n to_o we_o at_o one_o payment_n in_o the_o next_o world_n or_o else_o by_o part_n &_o portion_n in_o this_o and_o whosoever_o shall_v be_v of_o a_o different_a mind_n will_v not_o only_o disoblige_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n herself_o but_o may_v also_o make_v this_o book_n both_o a_o unprofitable_a &_o unuseful_a yea_o &_o even_o a_o inconvenient_a study_n for_o his_o soul_n but_o to_o return_v to_o the_o glorious_a action_n of_o this_o saint_n that_o beside_o the_o institute_n or_o redress_v this_o order_n where_o she_o have_v both_o man_n and_o woman_n though_o yet_o chief_o her_o own_o sex_n in_o her_o eye_n she_o shall_v also_o be_v only_o but_o a_o woman_n be_v able_a so_o to_o work_v upon_o man_n as_o in_o despite_n of_o less_o rigour_n &_o no_o little_a envy_n to_o bring_v they_o to_o take_v as_o it_o be_v the_o law_n at_o her_o hand_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o pride_n of_o old_a adam_n to_o overworke_n they_o to_o cooperate_v with_o the_o grace_n of_o the_o new_a and_o to_o make_v they_o not_o disdain_v to_o accept_v of_o her_o instruction_n and_o to_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o imitation_n of_o this_o virgin_n will_v not_o allow_v we_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o wonder_v save_v that_o it_o be_v most_o evident_o the_o hand_n and_o the_o strong_a hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o enable_v and_o strengthen_v this_o dear_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o so_o heroical_a a_o work_n and_o all_o this_o be_v so_o excellent_o set_v down_o by_o the_o say_a doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon_n as_o that_o i_o will_v do_v both_o the_o saint_n and_o her_o child_n the_o right_a to_o show_v they_o the_o very_a fountain_n itself_o from_o whence_o the_o relation_n spring_v and_o not_o deface_v or_o disgrace_v it_o by_o any_o imperfect_a description_n of_o my_o own_o you_o be_v therefore_o to_o understand_v and_o consider_v for_o these_o circumstance_n be_v not_o impertinent_a to_o the_o substance_n that_o some_o year_n after_o the_o death_n of_o this_o excellent_a creature_n s._n teresa_n and_o long_o before_o she_o be_v declare_v a_o saint_n by_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n in_o the_o process_n whereof_o there_o use_v ever_o to_o be_v even_o a_o excess_n of_o difficulty_n in_o weigh_v and_o admit_v of_o all_o proof_n there_o grow_v a_o question_n about_o the_o publish_n of_o her_o write_n and_o work_n and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o nothing_o may_v be_v do_v therein_o either_o by_o any_o indiscreet_a zeal_n or_o other_o accident_n the_o council_n royal_a of_o spain_n which_o be_v a_o body_n of_o great_a authority_n &_o wisdom_n commit_v the_o review_n of_o whatsoever_o the_o saint_n have_v leave_v behind_o she_o in_o that_o kind_n to_o be_v consider_v by_o some_o fit_n &_o grave_a person_n that_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o be_v true_o she_o may_v be_v distinguish_v from_o other_o thing_n and_o so_o proceed_v to_o be_v public_a by_o authority_n this_o person_n be_v a_o learned_a and_o renown_a man_n a_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n &_o a_o doctor_n who_o live_v in_o madrid_n at_o that_o time_n his_o name_n be_v lewis_z de_fw-fr leon_n as_o i_o say_v before_o who_o together_o with_o acknowledge_v and_o approve_v yea_o and_o admire_v her_o write_n whereof_o this_o life_n of_o she_o be_v the_o chief_a employ_v himself_o also_o with_o great_a care_n to_o set_v they_o out_o himself_z and_o when_o this_o book_n go_v to_o the_o press_n he_o dedicate_v it_o to_o the_o prioress_n and_o religious_a woman_n of_o the_o teresian-carmelites_n who_o then_o be_v new_o found_v in_o madrid_n and_o here_o you_o shall_v be_v entertain_v with_o as_o much_o of_o that_o dedicatory_a epistle_n as_o import_v the_o excellency_n both_o of_o the_o holy_a mother_n s._n
be_v able_a to_o suffer_v the_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n because_o former_o i_o have_v be_v use_v so_o delicate_o and_o be_v so_o nice_a but_o yet_o against_o this_o also_o i_o defend_v myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v by_o the_o affliction_n which_o christ_n our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v not_o be_v much_o for_o i_o to_o endure_v some_o for_o he_o i_o ought_v also_o to_o have_v consider_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o help_v to_o bear_v they_o yet_o i_o remember_v not_o whether_o i_o have_v this_o last_o consideration_n or_o no_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o have_v temptation_n enough_o about_o that_o time_n i_o then_o also_o grow_v to_o have_v great_a fit_n of_o faint_a by_o a_o burn_a fever_n into_o which_o i_o fall_v for_o i_o always_o have_v little_a health_n but_o it_o give_v i_o even_o my_o life_n at_o that_o time_n that_o already_o i_o be_v grow_v to_o love_v good_a book_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o read_v the_o epistle_n of_o s._n jerome_n which_o help_v i_o to_o such_o hart_n and_o courage_n as_o to_o make_v i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v impart_v my_o purpose_n to_o my_o father_n which_o in_o effect_n be_v even_o as_o much_o for_o i_o as_o to_o take_v the_o very_a habit_n upon_o i_o for_o i_o be_v ever_o so_o affect_v to_o maintain_v the_o point_n of_o honour_n that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v never_o have_v turn_v back_o again_o upon_o any_o term_n when_o i_o have_v first_o engage_v myself_o by_o speak_v any_o one_o word_n to_o the_o contrary_n but_o he_o love_v i_o to_o so_o strange_a a_o proportion_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n i_o can_v win_v his_o consent_n nor_o be_v the_o intercession_n of_o such_o person_n as_o i_o procure_v to_o move_v he_o in_o order_n to_o my_o end_n of_o any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o prevail_v the_o most_o that_o i_o can_v get_v at_o his_o hand_n be_v that_o when_o he_o shall_v be_v dead_a i_o may_v do_v what_o i_o list_v with_o myself_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v in_o doubt_n of_o my_o own_o great_a weakness_n as_o fear_v that_o i_o may_v loose_v ground_n and_o fall_v back_o again_o and_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v not_o fit_a for_o i_o to_o content_v myself_o with_o the_o offer_n which_o he_o make_v and_o i_o procure_v therefore_o to_o obtain_v my_o end_n by_o another_o mean_n which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v the_o four_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o relate_v how_o our_o lord_n assist_v she_o to_o force_v herself_o to_o take_v the_o habit_n of_o religion_n and_o of_o the_o many_o infirmity_n which_o he_o begin_v to_o bring_v upon_o she_o in_o these_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v walk_v on_o with_o my_o hart_n in_o such_o determination_n or_o strong_a purpose_n as_o i_o have_v here_o describe_v i_o persuade_v one_o of_o my_o brother_n to_o become_v a_o religious_a man_n discourse_v to_o he_o upon_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n and_o so_o we_o both_o of_o we_o agree_v to_o go_v very_o early_o together_o one_o morning_n to_o the_o monastery_n where_o that_o friend_n of_o i_o remain_v who_o be_v she_o to_o who_o i_o carry_v so_o great_a affection_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o last_o firm_a purpose_n of_o i_o i_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o such_o resolution_n that_o i_o will_v live_v wheresever_v i_o think_v i_o may_v serve_v god_n best_a or_o my_o father_n shall_v desire_v most_o that_o i_o may_v be_v for_o now_o i_o seek_v more_o earnest_o for_o the_o good_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o rest_n or_o ease_v and_o i_o remember_v to_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o be_o able_a to_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o according_a to_o the_o very_a rigour_n of_o truth_n that_o whilst_o i_o be_v go_v out_o of_o my_o father_n house_n i_o believe_v not_o that_o the_o sharpness_n of_o sense_n will_v be_v able_a to_o be_v great_a even_o in_o the_o very_a instant_n or_o agony_n of_o my_o death_n than_o it_o be_v then_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o every_o bone_n which_o i_o have_v in_o my_o body_n have_v be_v disjoint_v from_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o there_o be_v no_o such_o love_n of_o god_n in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n as_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v that_o love_n which_o my_o hart_n carry_v to_o my_o father_n and_o friend_n all_o that_o which_o then_o i_o do_v be_v with_o so_o mighty_a a_o violence_n that_o if_o god_n have_v not_o give_v i_o great_a help_n i_o own_o consideration_n will_v never_o have_v beme_fw-mi able_a to_o carry_v i_o on_o but_o here_o he_o allow_v i_o such_o courage_n even_o against_o myself_o that_o i_o have_v power_n to_o put_v my_o purpose_n in_o execution_n at_o the_o instant_n of_o my_o take_v the_o habit_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o well_o to_o understand_v how_o high_o he_o favour_v they_o who_o offer_v themselves_o violence_n for_o the_o do_v he_o any_o service_n though_o yet_o no_o body_n have_v find_v by_o i_o but_o that_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o way_n of_o religious_a observance_n with_o much_o facility_n and_o good_a like_n but_o at_o that_o very_a instant_n i_o take_v so_o great_a contentment_n to_o put_v myself_o into_o that_o manner_n of_o life_n as_o have_v never_o fail_v i_o once_o till_o this_o very_a hour_n and_o god_n change_v that_o dryness_n wherein_o my_o soul_n have_v former_o be_v into_o a_o extreme_a tenderness_n and_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o religion_n give_v i_o great_a delight_n yea_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o while_o i_o be_v sometime_o go_v up_o and_o down_o to_o sweep_v the_o house_n at_o such_o hour_n as_o before_o i_o have_v be_v wont_a to_o employ_v upon_o the_o gallanterie_n and_o regalo_n of_o my_o person_n and_o go_v consider_v that_o now_o i_o be_v free_a from_o that_o subjection_n it_o give_v i_o a_o particular_a joy_n and_o that_o so_o very_o great_a that_o it_o amaze_v i_o nor_o be_v it_o in_o my_o power_n to_o understand_v from_o whence_o the_o same_o shall_v come_v when_o i_o remember_v and_o consider_v this_o there_o can_v be_v nothing_o how_o grievous_a soever_o upon_o which_o if_o it_o be_v set_v before_o i_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v venture_v to_o attempt_v for_o i_o have_v already_o good_a experience_n of_o thing_n enough_o to_o assure_v i_o that_o since_o god_n do_v help_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o resolve_v to_o do_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o which_o be_v only_o do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n he_o ordain_v for_o our_o great_a merit_n afterward_o that_o our_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o some_o trouble_n and_o terror_n at_o the_o first_o and_o the_o great_a that_o trouble_n be_v the_o great_a and_o the_o more_o savoury_a also_o will_v the_o reward_n thereof_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v if_o we_o go_v through_o with_o the_o business_n his_o majesty_n will_v also_o be_v please_v to_o recompense_v they_o high_o well_o even_o in_o this_o life_n by_o such_o way_n as_o he_o only_o who_o enjoy_v they_o can_v understand_v this_o i_o say_v i_o have_v find_v true_a by_o experience_n in_o many_o particular_n of_o great_a moment_n and_o therefore_o if_o i_o be_v a_o person_n who_o may_v be_v wish_v to_o give_v my_o opinion_n i_o will_v never_o advise_v any_o creature_n that_o when_o any_o good_a inspiration_n do_v often_o move_v and_o set_v upon_o a_o soul_n it_o shall_v give_v it_o over_o for_o fear_n of_o not_o perform_v the_o work_n for_o if_o one_o go_v on_o mere_o and_o pure_o for_o the_o only_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n there_o must_v be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o of_o good_a success_n since_o the_o same_o lord_n be_v powerful_a enough_o to_o prevail_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v amen_n these_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v hitherto_o bestow_v upon_o i_o out_o of_o thy_o own_o mere_a goodness_n and_o greatness_n may_v well_o have_v be_v sufficient_a o_o thou_o my_o sovereign_a good_a and_o repose_v of_o my_o soul_n to_o draw_v i_o towards_o thou_o by_o so_o many_o wind_n and_o turn_n to_o so_o safe_a a_o way_n of_o life_n and_o to_o a_o house_n where_o there_o be_v so_o many_o servant_n of_o thou_o of_o who_o i_o may_v learn_v to_o grow_v up_o in_o please_v thou_o but_o here_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o can_v pass_v on_o to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n else_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o manner_n of_o my_o profession_n and_o the_o great_a resolution_n and_o gust_n wherewith_o i_o make_v it_o and_o the_o espousal_n which_o i_o perfect_v with_o thou_o for_o i_o can_v speak_v of_o this_o without_o tear_n which_o be_v to_o be_v even_o of_o blood_n and_o not_o without_o the_o break_n of_o my_o very_a hart_n which_o
i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o while_o i_o be_v yet_o much_o indispose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n both_o concern_v body_n and_o mind_n and_o so_o before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o help_v myself_o in_o either_o kind_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o extreme_a desire_n to_o do_v other_o good_a which_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a temptation_n for_o new_a beginner_n though_o yet_o it_o happen_v now_o to_o succeed_v well_o with_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o dear_o i_o love_v my_o father_n i_o wish_v he_o the_o self_n same_o benefit_n which_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v get_v and_o gain_v by_o mean_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o esteem_v that_o in_o this_o life_n there_o be_v no_o great_a blessing_n then_o to_o obtain_v and_o enjoy_v that_o gift_n i_o begin_v by_o certain_a way_n of_o discourse_n to_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v that_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v it_o and_o i_o give_v he_o certain_a book_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o much_o virtue_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o mental_a prayer_n as_o think_v it_o more_o humility_n for_o i_o to_o abstain_v and_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o be_v the_o great_a and_o worst_a temptation_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v for_o by_o this_o mean_n iranne_n headlong_o upon_o my_o total_a ruin_n whereas_o when_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n if_o i_o offend_v god_n one_o day_n i_o return_v to_o recollect_v myself_o upon_o another_o and_o so_o to_o absent_v myself_o from_o the_o occasion_n but_o that_o bless_a man_n my_o father_n come_v to_o see_v i_o in_o such_o state_n as_o this_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o let_v he_o walk_v on_o so_o far_o in_o error_n as_o to_o think_v that_o i_o still_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v and_o so_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o do_v no_o long_o use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v he_o the_o cause_n thereof_o but_o i_o allege_v my_o infirmity_n for_o the_o reason_n and_o that_o although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o
last_v no_o long_o than_o the_o open_n as_o it_o be_v and_o shut_v of_o a_o eye_n for_o then_o in_o effect_n it_o be_v scarce_o feel_v at_o all_o but_o only_o by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o it_o leave_v behind_o it_o and_o when_o on_o the_o other_o side_n this_o favour_n continue_v to_o be_v of_o much_o long_a extent_n but_o it_o occurr_v to_o i_o often_o to_o doubt_v whether_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o may_v not_o be_v that_o the_o soul_n dispose_v not_o herself_o entire_o for_o god_n till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v she_o up_o and_o breed_v she_o for_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o so_o bespeak_v she_o to_o resolve_v her_o self_n all_o at_o once_o and_o give_v she_o the_o very_a strength_n of_o a_o grow_v man_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v cast_v all_o as_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o mile_n off_o as_o he_o instant_o do_v with_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o as_o he_o also_o do_v with_o other_o after_o the_o rate_n of_o their_o cooperate_a with_o he_o and_o as_o they_o suffer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o dispose_v of_o they_o whole_o according_a to_o his_o own_o good_a pleasure_n for_o else_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o believe_v that_o even_o in_o this_o life_n almighty_a god_n give_v a_o hundred_o for_o one_o i_o think_v also_o of_o this_o comparison_n that_o suppose_v the_o thing_n to_o be_v all_o one_o which_o be_v impart_v both_o to_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n it_o will_v be_v like_a to_o some_o one_o only_a food_n whereof_o many_o feed_n all_o at_o once_o and_o that_o they_o who_o eat_v little_a of_o it_o preserve_v no_o more_o memory_n and_o remain_v with_o no_o more_o effect_n of_o it_o then_o only_o some_o little_a savour_n or_o smack_n for_o a_o while_n but_o they_o who_o feed_v more_o large_o it_o give_v they_o help_v to_o subsist_v and_o they_o who_o feed_v plentiful_o on_o it_o receive_v increase_n of_o strength_n and_o spirit_n by_o it_o yea_o and_o a_o soul_n may_v feed_v so_o often_o and_o so_o full_o upon_o this_o food_n of_o life_n that_o she_o may_v come_v not_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o shall_v not_o taste_v just_a like_o that_o for_o she_o find_v the_o very_a great_a benefit_n which_o she_o receive_v by_o it_o and_o she_o have_v her_o taste_n already_o so_o whole_o make_v to_o that_o sweetness_n that_o she_o have_v rather_o even_o leave_v to_o live_v then_o to_o feed_v upon_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v all_o to_o serve_v in_o fine_a for_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v away_o the_o good_a taste_n which_o the_o former_a excellent_a food_n leave_v in_o her_o mouth_n beside_o no_o conversation_n with_o holy_a company_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o so_o much_o use_v and_o benefit_n in_o one_o day_n as_o in_o many_o but_o we_o may_v be_v in_o it_o so_o long_o as_o that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v even_o like_o they_o ourselves_o if_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o do_v we_o so_o much_o favour_n but_o to_o conclude_v the_o main_n business_n consist_v in_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v and_o to_o who_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o allow_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o grow_v to_o import_v very_o much_o that_o whosoever_o will_v pretend_v to_o receive_v this_o favour_n must_v full_o resolve_v himself_o to_o be_v absolute_o dis-engaged_n and_o untie_v from_o the_o whole_a world_n yea_o and_o to_o esteem_v that_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o high_o as_o the_o thing_n deserve_v it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v resolve_v to_o try_v who_o they_o be_v that_o love_v he_o namely_o whether_o it_o be_v this_o soul_n or_o that_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o discover_v who_o himself_o be_v by_o impart_v so_o high_a and_o sovereign_a a_o delight_n to_o quicken_v and_o fortifye_v their_o faith_n if_o it_o shall_v chance_v to_o be_v dead_a or_o weak_a in_o the_o beleif_n of_o those_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o mean_v to_o give_v she_o say_v behold_v this_o be_v but_o a_o single_a drop_n of_o that_o huge_a and_o vast_a sea_n of_o benediction_n which_o i_o mean_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o i_o love_v and_o when_o he_o see_v that_o they_o receive_v it_o as_o he_o give_v it_o he_o give_v not_o only_o it_o but_o himself_o with_o it_o in_o fine_a he_o love_v they_o who_o love_v he_o and_o o_o what_o a_o good_a lover_n and_o good_a belon_v be_v he_o othou_fw-mi the_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n o_o that_o i_o can_v find_v any_o fit_a word_n whereby_o i_o may_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v what_o thou_o bestow_v upon_o such_o as_o trust_v thou_o home_o and_o what_o they_o lose_v who_o arrive_v to_o this_o condition_n and_o yet_o will_v needs_o remain_v still_o with_o themselves_o but_o do_v not_o o_o thou_o my_o lord_n permit_v this_o since_o already_o thou_o do_v more_o than_o this_o for_o our_o sake_n in_o come_v to_o so_o base_a and_o wicked_a a_o lodging_n as_o this_o of_o my_o hart_n bless_a may_v thou_o be_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o ever_o amen_n and_o now_o i_o return_v most_o humble_o to_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o if_o you_o mean_v to_o impart_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v write_v concern_v my_o prayer_n they_o may_v be_v very_o spiritual_a person_n to_o who_o you_o do_v it_o for_o if_o they_o understand_v no_o more_o than_o some_o one_o way_n or_o if_o they_o have_v remain_v in_o the_o half_a way_n they_o will_v never_o be_v so_o well_o able_a to_o hit_v right_a now_o there_o be_v some_o who_o almighty_a god_n carry_v instant_o by_o a_o very_a sublime_a kind_n of_o address_n and_o they_o perhaps_o will_v conceive_v that_o other_o may_v also_o profit_v there_o and_o may_v quiet_v and_o calm_v the_o understanding_n and_o not_o serve_v themselves_o at_o all_o of_o the_o mean_n of_o any_o corporeal_a object_n but_o yet_o these_o creature_n with_o all_o this_o shall_v come_v in_o fine_a to_o remain_v as_o dry_v as_o a_o stick_n and_o some_o who_o have_v grow_v to_o enjoy_v a_o little_a quiet_a grow_v also_o to_o 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in_o latin_n but_o then_o our_o bless_a lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o be_v not_o trouble_v for_o i_o will_v give_v thou_o a_o live_a book_n i_o can_v not_o for_o my_o part_n understand_v why_o this_o have_v be_v say_v to_o i_o for_o then_o i_o have_v never_o have_v vision_n but_o within_o a_o little_a while_n after_o i_o understand_v it_o very_o well_o for_o i_o have_v have_v so_o much_o to_o think_v of_o and_o to_o recollect_v myself_o about_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o i_o see_v before_o i_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v show_v i_o so_o great_a love_n as_o to_o instruct_v i_o by_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o way_n that_o i_o have_v have_v very_o little_a need_n of_o book_n or_o rather_o in_o effect_n none_o at_o all_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v that_o true_a book_n to_o i_o wherein_o i_o have_v indeed_o see_v truth_n and_o now_o bless_a be_v such_o a_o book_n as_o this_o which_o leave_v that_o imprint_v in_o the_o very_a hart_n which_o be_v to_o be_v read_v yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o can_v never_o be_v forget_v who_o can_v over_o see_v our_o bless_a lord_n all_o covered-ove_a with_o wound_n and_o afflict_v with_o persecution_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o yet_o not_o be_v content_v to_o embrace_v they_o yea_o and_o to_o desire_v they_o and_o to_o love_v they_o who_o can_v see_v though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a of_o that_o glory_n which_o he_o give_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o and_o not_o come_v instant_o to_o know_v that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o can_v possible_o ever_o either_o do_v or_o suffer_v here_o be_v direct_o nothing_o since_o we_o hope_v for_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n he_o who_o see_v the_o torment_n which_o the_o damn_a soul_n of_o hell_n endure_v how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o esteem_v all_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o life_n to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o delightful_a thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o those_o other_o and_o how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o know_v the_o mighty_a obligation_n which_o he_o have_v to_o 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this_o way_n of_o i_o which_o they_o suspect_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o carrying-up_a to_o heaven_n which_o former_o be_v drop_v down_o to_o hell_n and_o why_o therefore_o shall_v i_o desire_v that_o this_o course_n may_v be_v change_v for_o as_o for_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n it_o be_v not_o in_o my_o power_n even_o to_o constrain_v myself_o to_o it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o believe_v it_o but_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o say_v in_o my_o power_n i_o offer_v to_o
the_o flame_v hart_n or_o the_o life_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n foundress_n of_o the_o reformation_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o all-immaculate_a virgin-mother_n our_o b._n lady_n of_o mount-carmel_n this_o history_n of_o her_o life_n be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o in_o spanish_a and_o be_v new_o now_o translate_v into_o english_a in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1642._o aut_fw-la mori_fw-la aut_fw-la pati_fw-la either_o to_o die_v or_o else_o to_o suffer_v chap._n 40._o antwerp_n print_v by_o johannes_n meursius_n anno_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o to_o the_o incomparable_a sovereign_a princess_n henrietta-maria_a of_o france_z qveen_n of_o great_a britain_n france_n and_o irland_n madam_n i_o presume_v not_o now_o to_o approach_v to_o your_o majesty_n presence_n with_o design_n to_o beg_v your_o favour_n though_o this_o use_v to_o be_v the_o case_n of_o every_o creature_n but_o to_o pay_v your_o majesty_n a_o service_n and_o that_o a_o great_a one_o for_o 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which_o the_o god_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n think_v fit_a to_o infuse_v with_o his_o enamour_a hart_n and_o omnipotent_a hand_n into_o that_o most_o happy_a soul_n for_o who_o can_v ever_o be_v more_o fit_a to_o patronize_v so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o she_o be_v than_o so_o great_a a_o queen_n as_o your_o majesty_n who_o beside_o your_o birth_n and_o renown_n whereof_o to_o speak_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o man_n you_o have_v so_o much_o occasion_n to_o brag_v have_v also_o in_o order_n to_o heaven_n show_v such_o constancy_n in_o the_o way_n of_o religion_n and_o piety_n as_o may_v just_o all_o thing_n consider_v give_v cause_n to_o the_o rest_n of_o your_o own_o most_o eminent_a rank_n at_o least_o to_o shrink_v if_o not_o to_o blush_v for_o myself_o to_o beg_v your_o majesty_n pardon_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o presumption_n be_v now_o to_o acknowledge_v some_o such_o fault_n as_o whereof_o i_o acquit_v myself_o before_o i_o will_v therefore_o rather_o by_o this_o 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of_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o to_o help_v myself_o by_o the_o use_n of_o my_o imagination_n which_o i_o have_v so_o heavy_a and_o gross_a that_o even_o to_o think_v and_o represent_v within_o myself_o so_o much_o as_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n which_o i_o endeavour_v to_o do_v be_v yet_o more_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o perform_v and_o howsoever_o by_o this_o way_n of_o not_o be_v able_a to_o employ_v and_o set_v the_o understanding_n on_o work_n in_o the_o way_n of_o discourse_n man_n may_v soon_o arrive_v to_o contemplation_n if_o they_o persevere_v therein_o yet_o be_v it_o very_o troublesome_a and_o painful_a because_o if_o the_o employment_n of_o the_o will_n do_v fail_v so_o far_o of_o obtain_v the_o true_a end_n as_o that_o their_o love_n find_v no_o present_a object_n to_o embrace_v the_o soul_n be_v leave_v as_o it_o be_v without_o any_o exercise_n and_o rest_n at_o all_o and_o that_o kind_a of_o solitude_n and_o dryness_n give_v much_o 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yea_o and_o many_o time_n in_o the_o very_a open_v my_o book_n i_o find_v myself_o need_v no_o more_o sometime_o also_o i_o read_v little_a and_o sometime_o much_o according_a to_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o more_o or_o less_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o if_o in_o those_o beginning_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o may_v have_v have_v book_n and_o mean_n to_o continue_v in_o solitude_n there_o will_v have_v be_v no_o danger_n which_o can_v have_v be_v able_a to_o deprive_v i_o of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o i_o be_o also_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o will_v have_v prove_v so_o if_o i_o have_v have_v a_o director_n or_o some_o person_n who_o may_v have_v counsel_v i_o to_o avoid_v occasion_n in_o those_o beginning_n and_o to_o make_v i_o forsake_v they_o quick_o if_o i_o have_v be_v enter_v into_o they_o yea_o and_o though_o the_o devil_n shall_v then_o have_v set_v open_o upon_o i_o i_o think_v that_o i_o will_v never_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o offend_v god_n grievous_o again_o but_o he_o be_v so_o very_o crafty_a and_o i_o so_o wretched_a that_o all_o these_o resolution_n of_o i_o do_v i_o little_a good_a but_o the_o time_n which_o i_o spend_v in_o god_n service_n do_v i_o very_o much_o towards_o the_o bear_n those_o terrible_a sickness_n which_o i_o endure_v with_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o have_v often_o consider_v the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n even_o with_o amazement_n and_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v regale_v to_o see_v the_o magnificence_n of_o his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v in_o most_o evident_a manner_n that_o he_o have_v not_o leave_v any_o one_o good_a desire_n of_o i_o without_o recompense_n even_o in_o this_o life_n and_o how_o imperfect_a and_o full_a of_o fault_n soever_o my_o work_n be_v yet_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o go_v better_v and_o perfect_v they_o and_o give_v they_o worth_a and_o my_o sin_n and_o misery_n he_o will_v instant_o hide_v yea_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v permit_v that_o even_o the_o eye_n of_o such_o as_o see_v they_o shall_v be_v blind_v and_o their_o memory_n fail_v when_o they_o will_v remember_v they_o he_o even_o guild_v our_o fault_n and_o make_v that_o virtue_n shine_v bright_a which_o he_o the_o same_o lord_n convey_v into_o i_o and_o wherein_o he_o offer_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o violence_n that_o i_o may_v receive_v it_o but_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o speak_v of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o declare_v and_o i_o say_v that_o if_o i_o be_v to_o set_v forth_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n in_o what_o sort_n our_o lord_n proceed_v with_o i_o in_o these_o beginning_n i_o shall_v need_v another_o manner_n of_o understanding_n than_o my_o own_o to_o perform_v all_o that_o with_o advantage_n for_o which_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o in_o this_o particular_a and_o to_o publish_v my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o wickedness_n since_o he_o have_v forget_v it_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o have_v endure_v so_o much_o at_o my_o hand_n amen_o the_o five_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o relation_n of_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o she_o have_v and_o of_o the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n give_v she_o in_o they_o and_o how_o benefit_n be_v draw_v out_o of_o mischief_n as_o will_v be_v see_v by_o a_o certain_a particular_a which_o happen_v to_o she_o in_o the_o place_n whither_o she_o go_v to_o be_v cure_v i_o forget_v to_o relate_v how_o in_o the_o year_n of_o my_o novitiate_a i_o suffer_v much_o disquiet_n about_o some_o thing_n which_o in_o themselves_o be_v of_o little_a importance_n but_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v blame_v many_o time_n without_o my_o have_v make_v any_o fault_n and_o this_o i_o take_v with_o trouble_n and_o imperfection_n enough_o though_o yet_o i_o endure_v it_o all_o through_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n when_o they_o observe_v i_o to_o love_v solitude_n so_o well_o and_o see_v i_o shed_v tear_n sometime_o which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n they_o think_v yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o it_o grow_v but_o from_o some_o inward_a melancholy_n and_o disgust_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v a_o good_a inclination_n to_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n save_v only_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o contempt_n with_o it_o for_o i_o delight_v in_o be_v esteem_v
that_o i_o shall_v shed_v those_o tear_n do_v show_v i_o favour_n enough_o for_o his_o part_n since_o i_o forget_v the_o sense_n and_o tenderness_n thereof_o so_o soon_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n that_o she_o may_v help_v i_o to_o obtain_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o profit_v the_o more_o in_o that_o last_o time_n when_o i_o pray_v before_o the_o picture_n because_o then_o note_n i_o be_v grow_v into_o very_o great_a distrust_n of_o myself_o and_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o think_n i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o will_v blessing_n never_o rise_v from_o thence_o till_o he_o grant_v i_o the_o humble_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v and_o i_o be_o full_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o do_v i_o good_a for_o i_o have_v go_v improve_v much_o ever_o since_o that_o time_n now_o i_o continue_v to_o hold_v this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n because_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n i_o procure_v to_o represent_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o my_o mind_n as_o be_v then_o within_o my_o very_a self_n and_o jever_n also_o find_v it_o to_o prove_v better_o with_o i_o in_o my_o opinion_n when_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v he_o all_o alone_a for_o he_o be_v alone_o and_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afflict_v i_o think_v he_o be_v to_o admit_v i_o yea_o and_o to_o assist_v i_o too_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v in_o necessity_n and_o misery_n of_o this_o kind_n of_o simplicity_n i_o have_v many_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o use_v to_o find_v myself_o very_o well_o in_o the_o prayer_n of_o the_o garden_n yea_o and_o i_o be_v in_o my_o kingdom_n when_o i_o may_v accompany_v he_o there_o i_o think_v also_o much_o upon_o that_o sweat_n together_o with_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o he_o sustain_v then_o and_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v permit_v to_o wipe_v that_o most_o painful_a sweat_n from_o his_o face_n but_o i_o remember_v how_o in_o fine_a i_o never_o dare_v resolve_v to_o presume_v to_o do_v it_o so_o grievous_o do_v my_o sin_n represent_v themselves_o to_o i_o howsoever_o i_o remain_v there_o by_o he_o as_o long_o as_o my_o thought_n will_v give_v i_o leave_v but_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o have_v store_n of_o such_o as_o torment_v i_o most_o night_n during_o many_o year_n before_o i_o go_v to_o rest_v and_o when_o i_o be_v recommend_v myself_o to_o god_n ere_o i_o sleep_v i_o ever_o think_v a_o little_a upon_o this_o passage_n of_o his_o prayer_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o that_o even_o before_o i_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n for_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v gain_v many_o indulgence_n by_o it_o and_o at_o least_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o my_o soul_n get_v much_o by_o this_o mean_n because_o thus_o i_o begin_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n even_o without_o express_o know_v what_o it_o be_v and_o then_o it_o be_v as_o usual_a for_o i_o not_o to_o omit_v this_o custom_n as_o not_o to_o fail_v of_o blessing_n myself_o with_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o cross_n before_o sleep_v but_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v of_o the_o torment_n which_o my_o thought_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o this_o manner_n of_o proceed_v without_o discourse_n of_o the_o understanding_n have_v this_o in_o it_o that_o the_o soul_n must_v both_o gain_v much_o and_o loose_a much_o i_o mean_v all_o consideration_n and_o discourse_n be_v lose_v for_o as_o for_o profit_v they_o profit_v much_o who_o use_v it_o since_o all_o such_o prayer_n be_v love._n but_o to_o arrive_v to_o this_o point_n &_o pitch_n it_o will_v cost_v every_o body_n a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n except_o such_o as_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o conduct_v in_o a_o short_a time_n to_o quiet_a prayer_n of_o which_o kind_n i_o know_v some_o and_o for_o they_o who_o go_v by_o this_o way_n it_o will_v be_v good_a to_o have_v some_o book_n or_o other_o at_o hand_n that_o so_o they_o may_v recollect_v themselves_o quick_o as_o for_o i_o it_o do_v i_o also_o good_a to_o look_v upon_o field_n or_o flower_n or_o water_n for_o in_o these_o thing_n do_v i_o find_v the_o memory_n of_o our_o creator_n as_o i_o also_o do_v in_o my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o sin_n all_o which_o particular_n be_v wont_a to_o awake_v i_o and_o recollect_v i_o and_o to_o serve_v i_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o book_n for_o as_o for_o heaven_n and_o such_o high_a thing_n as_o that_o my_o understanding_n be_v so_o dull_a that_o i_o can_v never_o i_o say_v never_o be_v able_a to_o have_v or_o frame_v any_o imagination_n or_o fancy_n concern_v they_o till_o our_o lord_n represent_v they_o to_o i_o by_o other_o mean_n and_o i_o have_v so_o very_o little_a ability_n to_o represent_v thing_n to_o my_o mind_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding-part_n that_o my_o imagination_n serve_v i_o not_o to_o work_v upon_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o what_o i_o see_v with_o my_o eye_n which_o yet_o other_o be_v able_a enough_o to_o do_v who_o know_v how_o to_o form_v certain_a representation_n of_o thing_n to_o themselves_o upon_o which_o they_o can_v recollect_v their_o thought_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v only_o think_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n as_o man_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o read_v of_o his_o beauty_n or_o see_v his_o picture_n yet_o can_v i_o never_o represent_v he_o to_o myself_o but_o just_a so_o as_o one_o who_o be_v either_o in_o the_o dark_a or_o else_o stark_o blind_a may_v be_v able_a at_o that_o very_a time_n to_o represent_v any_o other_o person_n to_o himself_o for_o though_o such_o a_o one_o may_v speak_v with_o such_o another_o &_o know_v that_o he_o be_v with_o that_o person_n because_o he_o be_v sure_a that_o the_o say_a person_n be_v there_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o do_v but_o understand_v and_o believe_v he_o to_o be_v there_o for_o he_o see_v he_o not_o and_o in_o this_o sort_n do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o when_o i_o think_v of_o our_o lord_n upon_o this_o reason_n be_v i_o so_o great_a a_o friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o the_o use_n of_o image_n or_o holy_a picture_n miserable_a creature_n be_v they_o who_o lose_v this_o benefit_n through_o their_o own_o fault_n and_o it_o appear_v also_o well_o enough_o that_o they_o do_v not_o love_v our_o lord_n for_o if_o they_o love_v he_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o see_v his_o picture_n as_o here_o it_o give_v we_o contentment_n so_o see_v the_o picture_n of_o those_o person_n who_o we_o love_v about_o this_o time_n they_o give_v i_o the_o confession_n of_o s._n augustin_n and_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v it_o for_o neither_o do_v i_o procure_v they_o nor_o have_v i_o ever_o see_v they_o i_o bear_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n to_o this_o saint_n because_o the_o monastery_n where_o i_o live_v before_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v religious_a be_v of_o his_o order_n and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o sinner_n for_o i_o always_o find_v particular_a comfort_n in_o those_o saint_n who_o after_o have_v be_v sinner_n be_v convert_v to_o our_o lord_n as_o conceave_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v help_n by_o their_o mean_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v also_o be_v induce_v to_o forgive_v i_o as_o he_o have_v do_v they_o save_o only_o that_o i_o be_v discomfort_a by_o this_o consideration_n as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o that_o our_o lord_n call_v they_o but_o once_o and_o they_o return_v not_o to_o fall_v from_o he_o any_o more_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v fall_v so_o often_o that_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v encourage_v again_o for_o i_o never_o disinherit_v his_o mercy_n though_o i_o doubt_v of_o myself_o very_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mighty_o do_v that_o obstinate_a stiffness_n amaze_v i_o to_o which_o my_o soul_n must_v needs_o have_v be_v subject_a whilst_o it_o receive_v so_o many_o help_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o all_o in_o vain_a and_o it_o strike_v i_o with_o much_o fear_n to_o consider_v how_o little_a i_o be_v able_a to_o win_v upon_o myself_o all_o that_o while_n and_o how_o i_o remain_v still_o bind_v up_o from_o resolve_v to_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o but_o when_o once_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v the_o say_a confession_n i_o think_v that_o case_n which_o have_v be_v he_o be_v also_o now_o direct_o i_o own_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n but_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o his_o conversion_n and_o read_v how_o he_o hear_v that_o voice_n
any_o because_o then_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o multiply_v our_o virtue_n by_o that_o mean_n the_o twelve_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o that_o which_o i_o pretend_v to_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v in_o the_o last_o chapter_n though_o yet_o i_o divert_v myself_o much_o upon_o other_o thing_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o think_v they_o very_o necessary_a be_v to_o declare_v how_o much_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o acquire_v and_o how_o in_o this_o first_o part_n of_o our_o devotion_n we_o may_v to_o some_o proportion_n help_v ourselves_o because_o the_o consider_v and_o ruminate_v upon_o that_o which_o our_o lord_n suffer_v for_o we_o be_v wont_a to_o move_v we_o to_o compassion_n and_o the_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n which_o grow_v from_o thence_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o delightful_a kind_n of_o thing_n and_o so_o to_o think_v of_o the_o glory_n for_o which_o we_o hope_v and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v we_o as_o also_o of_o his_o resurrection_n move_v we_o to_o joy_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o spiritual_a nor_o whole_o sensual_a but_o this_o be_v a_o virtuous_a kind_n of_o joy_n on_o the_o one_o side_n as_o on_o the_o other_o that_o former_a pain_n be_v very_o meritorious_a and_o of_o this_o sort_n be_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o cause_n any_o such_o devotion_n as_o be_v acquire_v in_o part_n by_o the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o there_o be_v no_o merit_n nor_o gain_v therein_o unless_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o but_o now_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o raise_v any_o high_a not_o to_o procure_v to_o exalt_v herself_o and_o let_v this_o be_v very_o well_o note_v for_o the_o contrary_a course_n will_v help_v she_o to_o nothing_o but_o loss_n in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n she_o may_v perform_v many_o good_a act_n by_o way_n of_o resolve_v to_o do_v great_a thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o awake_v and_o stirr-up_a her_o love_n and_o other_o also_o by_o way_n of_o assist_v herself_o to_o grow-up_a in_o several_a virtue_n according_a to_o what_o be_v contain_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n call_v the_o art_n of_o serve_v god_n which_o be_v a_o very_a good_a one_o and_o very_o proper_a for_o such_o as_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n because_o the_o understanding_n do_v act_n and_o exercise_v itself_o here_o she_o may_v also_o represent_v herself_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o accustom_v herself_o to_o be_v great_o enamour_v with_o his_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n and_o to_o be_v ever_o carry_v that_o along_o in_o her_o company_n and_o to_o be_v often_o speak_v to_o it_o and_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a assistance_n in_o all_o her_o necessity_n and_o even_o to_o complain_v to_o he_o of_o her_o affliction_n and_o to_o joy_v with_o he_o for_o her_o contentment_n and_o gust_n but_o yet_o not_o to_o forget_v he_o upon_o occasion_n thereof_o and_o all_o this_o without_o procure_v to_o express_v herself_o in_o any_o set_v kind_a of_o prayer_n but_o to_o make_v use_n of_o such_o word_n alone_o as_o may_v have_v conformity_n with_o her_o own_o necessity_n and_o desire_n this_o be_v a_o note_n excellent_a way_n of_o find_v profit_n and_o that_o in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v earnest_o labour_v to_o carry_v this_o precious_a company_n with_o himself_o and_o shall_v have_v proceed_v well_o therein_o and_o shall_v have_v find_v the_o way_n of_o love_a in_o very_o good_a earnest_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o to_o who_o we_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o will_v give_v and_o pass_v my_o word_n that_o this_o person_n be_v a_o very_a good_a proficient_a for_o this_o purpose_n let_v it_o not_o trouble_v we_o a_o whitt_n not_o to_o find_v ourselves_o with_o sensible_a devotion_n as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o let_v we_o give_v thanks_n to_o our_o lord_n for_o give_v we_o so_o good_a desire_n to_o please_v he_o though_o our_o work_n be_v weak_a this_o way_n of_o carry_v christ_n our_o lord_n in_o our_o company_n be_v very_o useful_a in_o all_o the_o four_o state_n and_o degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v a_o most_o secure_a and_o safe_a mean_n to_o go_v profit_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v get_v quick_o to_o the_o second_o and_o then_o to_o be_v free_a also_o in_o the_o two_o last_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o the_o devil_n may_v provide_v for_o us._n for_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o for_o any_o body_n to_o passe-up_a from_o hence_o and_o to_o exalt_v his_o spirit_n towards_o the_o feel_n of_o certain_a gust_n which_o be_v not_o allow_v he_o be_v but_o in_o my_o opinion_n to_o loose_v both_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o because_o in_o fine_a that_o be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o so_o the_o understanding_n be_v at_o a_o stand_v and_o lose_v the_o soul_n remain_v all_o desolate_a and_o with_o great_a dryness_n and_o since_o this_o whole_a building_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n the_o near_o we_o grow_v to_o almighty_a god_n the_o more_o shall_v we_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o this_o virtue_n and_o if_o we_o do_v not_o this_o all_o be_v lose_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n if_o we_o desire_v to_o get-up_a to_o a_o high_a rank_n since_o god_n do_v we_o but_o too_o much_o honour_n and_o favour_n consider_v how_o unworthy_a we_o be_v in_o suffer_v we_o to_o be_v so_o near_o to_o himself_o but_o now_o it_o must_v not_o be_v so_o understand_v as_o if_o i_o speak_v all_o this_o against_o raising-up_a our_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o high_a 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who_o begin_v not_o long_o ago_o and_o yet_o have_v proceed_v and_o profit_v very_o much_o which_o make_v i_o have_v a_o earnest_n and_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o impatient_a desire_n that_o many_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a man_n whereof_o i_o shall_v give_v the_o reason_n hereafter_o but_o now_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v namely_o that_o man_n must_v not_o exalt_v themselves_o to_o rise_v high_o than_o god_n do_v raise_v they_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n of_o spirit_n and_o he_o will_v understand_v i_o who_o have_v experience_n of_o it_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v i_o by_o what_o i_o have_v say_v in_o mystical_a theology_n whereof_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v the_o understanding_n cease_v from_o work_v because_o almighty_a god_n themselves_o suspend_v it_o as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o if_o i_o be_v able_a and_o if_o he_o give_v i_o 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all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n &_o many_o advamtage_n also_o otherwise_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o further_o upon_o this_o matter_n because_o all_o these_o point_n concern_v prayer_n carry_v their_o difficulty_n along_o with_o they_o and_o unless_o there_o be_v a_o good_a director_n at_o hand_n they_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o this_o be_v the_o very_a cause_n why_o though_o i_o will_v fain_o make_v short_a and_o that_o just_o because_o it_o will_v suffice_v for_o i_o but_o even_o to_o touch_v they_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a capacity_n of_o he_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v these_o particular_n of_o prayer_n yet_o my_o dulness_n be_v not_o able_a to_o declare_v &_o explicate_v in_o few_o word_n a_o thing_n which_o it_o so_o much_o import_v to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o because_o i_o suffer_v so_o very_a much_o by_o use_v only_a book_n when_o i_o begin_v the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n i_o have_v compassion_n of_o all_o they_o 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begin_v and_o proceed_v and_o make_v a_o end_n and_o it_o will_v be_v a_o very_a excellent_a and_o secure_a way_n till_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o carry_v they_o on_o to_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o say_v for_o all_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v many_o soul_n which_o profit_n more_o by_o other_o meditation_n then_o by_o that_o of_o the_o sacred_a passion_n for_o as_o there_o be_v many_o mansion_n in_o heaven_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v there_o so_o be_v there_o also_o many_o way_n thither_o some_o profit_n more_o by_o consider_v heaven_n and_o some_o afflict_v themselves_o best_a by_o think_v of_o hell_n other_o by_o reflect_v upon_o death_n and_o some_o if_o they_o be_v very_o tender-hearted_a be_v too_o much_o trouble_v and_o vex_v if_o they_o always_o go_v ruminate_v upon_o the_o passion_n and_o they_o regale_n themselves_o better_a yea_o and_o they_o also_o profit_v more_o by_o consider_v the_o power_n and_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o his_o work_n and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v we_o which_o they_o find_v to_o be_v represent_v to_o they_o in_o all_o his_o creature_n and_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a way_n of_o proceed_v though_o yet_o still_o we_o must_v neither_o forget_v nor_o forbear_v to_o consider_v the_o life_n and_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n very_o often_o that_o in_o fine_a be_v the_o very_a thing_n from_o which_o all_o our_o good_a both_o ever_o do_v and_o ever_o can_v arrive_v to_o us._n he_o who_o be_v a_o beginner_n have_v need_n be_v careful_a to_o consider_v very_o well_o what_o that_o be_v whereby_o he_o profit_v most_o and_o to_o this_o purpose_n he_o will_v have_v great_a need_n of_o a_o director_n if_o he_o can_v meet_v with_o a_o experience_a man_n for_o if_o he_o be_v not_o so_o in_o good_a measure_n he_o may_v chance_v err_v by_o carry_v a_o soul_n on_o without_o either_o understanding_n she_o himself_o or_o else_o give_v she_o to_o be_v understand_v by_o the_o party_n for_o as_o the_o party_n can_v 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degree_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n but_o so_o she_o be_v in_o trouble_n enough_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o one_o self_n be_v never_o indeed_o to_o be_v utter_o give_v over_o nor_o be_v any_o soul_n in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n to_o think_v she_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o giant_n in_o she_o as_o not_o to_o understand_v that_o many_o time_n she_o must_v turn_v child_n and_o suck_v again_o and_o this_o must_v never_o be_v forget_v and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v also_o speak_v often_o of_o it_o again_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o import_v so_o much_o because_o there_o be_v no_o state_n of_o prayer_n so_o high_a wherein_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o turne-againe_a often_o to_o the_o beginning_n and_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o our_o sin_n be_v the_o daily_a bread_n bread_n which_o must_v be_v eat_v with_o all_o the_o meat_n how_o delicate_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v of_o such_o as_o be_v in_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n yea_o and_o without_o this_o very_a bread_n they_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o support_v and_o strengthen_v themselves_o yet_o must_v even_o this_o be_v take_v by_o weight_n and_o measure_n for_o when_o once_o a_o soul_n find_v herself_o lay_v very_o flat_a and_o low_a and_o see_v clear_o that_o she_o have_v no_o good_a thing_n of_o her_o own_o and_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v full_a of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n so_o much_o as_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o king_n and_o the_o little_a which_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v he_o for_o the_o very_a much_o which_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o owe_v he_o what_o necessity_n be_v there_o to_o spend_v so_o very_a much_o time_n upon_o this_o without_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o set_v before_o we_o and_o which_o it_o will_v not_o be_v reason_n for_o we_o to_o leave_v since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v better_a than_o we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
improve_v so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o also_o because_o by_o this_o time_n she_o be_v grow_v to_o approach_v near_o to_o that_o virtue_n and_o power_n from_o whence_o all_o virtue_n proceed_v which_o be_v almighty_a god_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o only_o then_o communicate_v himself_o to_o that_o soul_n but_o he_o be_v also_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v find_v in_o what_o sort_n it_o be_v that_o he_o communicate_v himself_o to_o she_o in_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o place_n she_o instant_o begin_v to_o loose_v the_o appetite_n of_o all_o thing_n concern_v this_o world_n and_o i_o can_v blame_v she_o for_o already_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o gust_n be_v not_o to_o be_v purchase_v here_o and_o that_o no_o riches_n nor_o dominion_n nor_o all_o the_o honour_n nor_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v such_o contentment_n and_o satisfaction_n as_o this_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o the_o twinkle_n of_o a_o eye_n because_o this_o be_v true_a contentment_n and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o real_o see_v and_o find_v to_o content_v we_o indeed_o for_o as_o for_o those_o other_o of_o this_o world_n it_o may_v well_o go_v for_o a_o wonder_n if_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o tell_v even_o wherein_o the_o contentment_n of_o any_o thing_n do_v consist_v nor_o do_v there_o ever_o fail_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o measure_v cast_v between_o the_o yea_o and_o the_o no_o in_o any_o of_o they_o but_o here_o all_o be_v in_o the_o affirmative_a and_o profess_v to_o say_v yea_o as_o long_o as_o it_o last_v and_o the_o no_o come_v not_o in_o till_o afterward_o because_o then_o they_o see_v that_o the_o business_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o he_o can_v recover_v it_o again_o nor_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o go_v about_o it_o for_o though_o he_o shall_v even_o half_o kill_v himself_o with_o do_v penance_n and_o make_v much_o prayer_n and_o use_v in_o fine_a all_o other_o possible_a diligence_n 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marry_v to_o one_o of_o my_o cousin-germans_a and_o i_o have_v much_o acquaintance_n there_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o procure_v that_o the_o priest_n who_o be_v his_o great_a friend_n and_o withal_o so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o god_n may_v come_v and_o speak_v with_o i_o for_o i_o intend_v to_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o to_o have_v he_o for_o my_o director_n and_o now_o that_o cavallier_n conduct_v he_o to_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v speak_v together_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o see_v myself_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o holy_a a_o man_n give_v he_o some_o knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o of_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o use_v for_o he_o excuse_v himself_o from_o take_v my_o confession_n as_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v very_o full_a of_o business_n and_o so_o indeed_o he_o be_v as_o for_o he_o he_o determine_v with_o a_o holy_a kind_n of_o resolution_n to_o conduct_v i_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v confirm_v and_o strong_a for_o indeed_o i_o be_v to_o have_v be_v so_o in_o all_o reason_n according_a to_o the_o prayer_n which_o he_o see_v i_o hold_v that_o so_o i_o may_v no_o more_o offend_v almighty_a god_n in_o the_o least_o degree_n but_o when_o i_o so_o quick_o find_v his_o resolution_n concern_v those_o little_a thing_n from_o which_o as_o i_o say_v i_o have_v not_o the_o courage_n to_o depart_v instant_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n i_o be_v much_o afflict_v and_o when_o i_o also_o find_v that_o he_o mean_v to_o carry_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o such_o manner_n as_o if_o he_o will_v make_v a_o end_n as_o it_o be_v all_o at_o once_o by_o dispose_v and_o settle_v thereof_o i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o much_o more_o consideration_n and_o care_n to_o be_v use_v towards_o i_o than_o that_o in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o the_o mean_n which_o he_o prescribe_v be_v not_o they_o whereby_o my_o remedy_n be_v to_o be_v procure_v for_o they_o be_v proper_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o have_v be_v more_o perfect_a then_o i_o but_o as_o for_o i_o though_o i_o have_v proceed_v very_o far_o in_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o soul_n yet_o for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v virtue_n and_o mortification_n i_o be_v but_o in_o the_o very_a beginning_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o conceive_v that_o if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v to_o treat_v with_o any_o other_o than_o he_o my_o soul_n will_v never_o have_v improve_v and_o thrive_v for_o through_o the_o affliction_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o see_v how_o i_o do_v not_o yea_o and_o how_o as_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o do_v that_o which_o he_o prescribe_v it_o be_v enough_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v my_o hope_n and_o to_o give-ove_a the_o whole_a business_n sometime_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o marvel_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o please_v to_o let_v this_o scruant_n of_o he_o the_o holy_a priest_n receive_v a_o perfect_a knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n nor_o to_o encharge_v himself_o with_o the_o care_n thereof_o since_o he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v a_o particular_a facility_n and_o grace_n in_o beginning_n to_o gain_v soul_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o i_o see_v that_o all_o this_o happen_v for_o my_o great_a good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v come_v to_o know_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a man_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o agreement_n with_o that_o cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v that_o now_o and_o then_o he_o shall_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o visit_v i_o and_o here_o i_o discern_v his_o great_a humility_n since_o he_o will_v be_v content_v to_o converse_v with_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o he_o begin_v therefore_o then_o to_o visit_v i_o and_o to_o encourage_v i_o and_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v to_o deliver_v myself_o from_o all_o my_o imperfection_n in_o one_o day_n but_o that_o by_o little_a and_o little_a almighty_a god_n will_v do_v it_o and_o that_o himself_o have_v remain_v some_o whole_a year_n in_o reform_v some_o very_a little_a light_a thing_n as_o not_o be_v able_a to_o finish_v the_o work_n soon_o o_o humility_n how_o great_a blessing_n do_v thou_o bestow_v upon_o they_o with_o who_o thou_o remain_v yea_o and_o even_o upon_o those_o other_o also_o who_o do_v but_o even_o approach_v to_o the_o possessor_n thereof_o this_o saint_n for_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o may_v well_o give_v he_o this_o name_n with_o great_a reason_n relate_v certain_a particular_n to_o i_o concern_v himself_o which_o through_o his_o humility_n seem_v weakness_n to_o he_o but_o he_o do_v it_o for_o my_o remedy_n and_o redress_v and_o consider_v his_o condition_n and_o way_n of_o life_n they_o import_v neither_o fault_n nor_o imperfection_n but_o as_o for_o i_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v thus_o much_o by_o chance_n though_o perhaps_o i_o extend_v myself_o too_o far_o in_o speak_v of_o these_o very_a little_a thing_n but_o they_o import_v so_o much_o for_o bring_v a_o soul_n into_o the_o way_n of_o profit_v in_o spirit_n and_o for_o get_v she_o out_o to_o fly_v which_o have_v scarce_o get_v yet_o any_o feather_n that_o no_o body_n who_o have_v not_o experience_n of_o it_o will_v believe_v it_o and_o i_o affirm_v these_o thing_n here_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o hope_v in_o almighty_a god_n that_o this_o which_o i_o be_o say_v now_o will_v do_v much_o good_a for_o all_o my_o help_n and_o hope_v consist_v in_o find_v out_o the_o way_n how_o to_o cure_v i_o and_o in_o their_o exercise_v humility_n and_o charity_n towards_o i_o yea_o and_o to_o have_v patience_n also_o in_o perceive_v that_o i_o do_v not_o instant_o and_o entire_o amend_v myself_o and_o this_o man_n go_v with_o discretion_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o show_v i_o diverse_a way_n how_o to_o overcome_v the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o begin_v to_o carry_v so_o entire_a a_o affection_n to_o he_o that_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v a_o great_a ease_n and_o joy_n then_o to_o live_v that_o day_n when_o i_o may_v see_v he_o though_o they_o be_v but_o few_o when_o he_o delay_v his_o visit_n i_o be_v very_o much_o and_o very_o quick_o trouble_v at_o it_o as_o doubt_v that_o he_o forbear_v to_o see_v i_o because_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a when_o he_o come_v to_o know_v my_o so_o great_a imperfection_n yea_o and_o even_o they_o may_v reach_v to_o be_v sin_n though_o yet_o after_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o treat_v with_o he_o i_o be_v somewhat_o mend_v and_o when_o i_o inform_v he_o also_o of_o the_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v give_v i_o light_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o all_o those_o several_a thing_n do_v not_o suit_n very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o and_o that_o those_o regalo_n be_v not_o belong_v but_o to_o person_n who_o be_v already_o very_o much_o improve_v and_o mortify_v that_o for_o his_o part_n he_o can_v not_o forbear_v to_o be_v much_o afraid_a because_o it_o seem_v one_o to_o he_o that_o there_o appear_v a_o evil_a spirit_n in_o some_o thing_n though_o yet_o he_o will_v not_o absolute_o resolve_v it_o but_o he_o wish_v that_o i_o shall_v consider_v very_o well_o of_o whatsoever_o i_o understand_v concern_v my_o prayer_n and_o so_o relate_v it_o to_o he_o now_o here_o the_o great_a trouble_n be_v that_o i_o can_v tell_v he_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o what_o my_o prayer_n be_v for_o indeed_o it_o be_v not_o long_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o know_v either_o how_o to_o understand_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o but_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o have_v be_v great_a and_o the_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v be_v many_o through_o the_o fear_n i_o have_v for_o certain_o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v and_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o persuade_v myself_o that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n only_o i_o fear_v least_z for_o my_o great_a sin_n our_o lord_n may_v blind_v i_o so_o far_o as_o that_o i_o can_v not_o understand_v it_o but_o then_o turn_v over_o some_o book_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v meet_v with_o any_o thing_n concern_v my_o prayer_n i_o find_v in_o one_o which_o be_v call_v the_o ascent_n to_o the_o mountain_n in_o that_o particular_a which_o concern_v the_o union_n of_o a_o soul_n with_o almighty_a god_n all_o those_o sign_n which_o i_o have_v in_o that_o state_n of_o my_o
not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n for_o this_o be_v that_o of_o which_o i_o speak_v most_o that_o namely_o i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n in_o distinct_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v that_o prayer_n and_o i_o mark_v and_o note_v those_o place_n with_o certain_a line_n wherein_o that_o passage_n be_v contain_v and_o then_o i_o deliver_v he_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o himself_o and_o that_o holy_a priest_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o may_v consider_v it_o and_o make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v to_o do_v and_o whither_o perhaps_o they_o may_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o give-ove_a my_o prayer_n altogether_o for_o in_o fine_a to_o what_o purpose_n be_v i_o to_o thrust_v myself_o into_o those_o danger_n if_o now_o after_o i_o have_v use_v this_o prayer_n for_o almost_o twenty_o year_n together_o i_o have_v make_v no_o other_o benefit_n thereof_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o deceit_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o not_o to_o use_v this_o prayer_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o this_o show_v itself_o as_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o hard_a case_n to_o i_o since_o already_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o ill_o it_o go_v with_o my_o soul_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o now_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o misery_n on_o all_o side_n like_o one_o who_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o river_n and_o to_o which_o side_n soever_o he_o shall_v go_v he_o may_v still_o have_v the_o more_o danger_n to_o fear_v and_o be_v so_o come_v to_o the_o very_a point_n as_o it_o be_v of_o drown_v this_o be_v a_o very_a mighty_a affliction_n and_o of_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v endure_v many_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o for_o though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v seem_v not_o to_o import_v yet_o peradventure_o it_o may_v indeed_o prove_v to_o be_v of_o use_n towards_o the_o understanding_n of_o how_o a_o spirit_n be_v to_o be_v try_v for_o certain_o the_o affliction_n which_o use_v to_o be_v endure_v in_o these_o case_n be_v very_o great_a and_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o nice_a hand_n and_o of_o a_o warye_a foot_n especial_o when_o man_n treat_v with_o woman_n for_o our_o weakness_n be_v very_o great_a and_o much_o mischief_n may_v chance_v to_o arrive_v by_o tell_v we_o that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v certain_o the_o devil_n without_o consider_v it_o first_o very_o well_o and_o remove_v we_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o may_v occur_v and_o advise_v we_o to_o keep_v thing_n very_o private_a and_o that_o they_o also_o be_v careful_a thereof_o themselves_o for_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o herein_o it_o be_v i_o who_o speak_v as_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v affliction_n enough_o for_o not_o have_v have_v fit_a person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v confer_v about_o my_o prayer_n but_o by_o ask_v first_o one_o and_o then_o another_o what_o may_v do_v i_o good_a which_o have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o for_o now_o diverse_a thing_n have_v grow_v to_o be_v public_a which_o may_v well_o have_v remain_v very_o private_a since_o they_o be_v not_o for_o every_o body_n be_v understand_v and_o beside_o it_o may_v have_v seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v diwlge_v by_o i_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o those_o other_o do_v it_o without_o any_o fault_n in_o they_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v suffer_v by_o it_o i_o be_o far_o from_o say_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v as_o if_o any_o of_o they_o relate_v any_o such_o particular_a as_o have_v pass_v from_o i_o to_o they_o in_o confession_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n but_o yet_o in_o regard_n it_o come_v from_o i_o to_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o in_o the_o way_n of_o conference_n i_o give_v account_n of_o my_o fear_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v assist_v i_o with_o give_v i_o light_n i_o think_v they_o may_v have_v keep_v my_o counsel_n but_o how_o soever_o i_o dare_v never_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o such_o person_n in_o such_o occasion_n as_o those_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o such_o as_o i_o be_v then_o must_v be_v counsel_v with_o much_o discretion_n and_o animate_v and_o time_n must_v be_v expect_v for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v they_o as_o he_o do_v i_o which_o if_o he_o have_v not_o do_v the_o prejudice_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v suffer_v will_v have_v be_v extreme_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o be_v so_o full_a of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n and_o especial_o consider_v to_o how_o great_a palpitation_n of_o hart_n i_o be_v subject_a i_o wonder_v how_o this_o other_o accident_n do_v i_o not_o more_o hurt_n when_o therefore_o i_o have_v deliver_v this_o book_n and_o make_v a_o relation_n of_o my_o life_n and_o of_o my_o sin_n the_o best_a i_o can_v though_o yet_o in_o gross_a for_o i_o do_v it_o not_o in_o the_o way_n of_o confession_n in_o regard_n he_o be_v a_o secular_a person_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o make_v he_o understand_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v those_o two_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n consider_v with_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n what_o may_v be_v convenient_a for_o i_o to_o do_v now_o the_o answer_n be_v ready_a which_o i_o expect_v with_o fear_n enough_o and_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o many_o person_n that_o they_o may_v recommend_v i_o over_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o also_o have_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n with_o affliction_n enough_o of_o hart_n to_o myself_o the_o cavallier_n come_v to_o i_o at_o length_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o the_o opinion_n both_o of_o himself_o and_o of_o the_o other_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o will_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o do_v be_v to_o treat_v about_o this_o business_n with_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o if_o i_o will_v call_v he_o to_o i_o &_o declare_v that_o i_o be_v in_o necessity_n of_o his_o help_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o come_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n by_o way_n of_o make_v a_o general_n confession_n as_o also_o otherwise_o of_o my_o condition_n and_o that_o i_o must_v proceed_v in_o all_o thing_n with_o much_o clearness_n and_o that_o then_o in_o virtue_n of_o the_o sacrament_n of_o confession_n almighty_a god_n will_v give_v he_o more_o light_a where_o with_o to_o direct_v i_o and_o that_o they_o be_v man_n of_o great_a experience_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v a_o whitt_n from_o what_o he_o say_v for_o that_o i_o will_v find_v myself_o in_o much_o danger_n if_o i_o want_v one_o to_o govern_v and_o direct_v my_o soul_n as_o for_o i_o he_o put_v i_o now_o into_o so_o great_a fear_n and_o pain_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o weep_v and_o be_v one_o day_n very_o much_o afflict_v in_o a_o oratory_n i_o fall_v upon_o read_v a_o certain_a book_n which_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o s._n paul_n be_v cite_v there_o say_v that_o god_n be_v very_o faithful_a and_o that_o he_o never_o suffer_v they_o who_o love_v he_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o their_o strength_n this_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v about_o make_v my_o general_n confession_n and_o to_o work_n put_v in_o writing_n all_o the_o sin_n and_o blessing_n with_o the_o course_n and_o proceed_v of_o my_o whole_a life_n the_o most_o clear_o that_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v how_o to_o do_v without_o leave_v any_o little_a thing_n out_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o when_o i_o read_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v and_o see_v so_o many_o sin_n to_o have_v be_v commit_v by_o i_o and_o in_o effect_n no_o good_a at_o all_o to_o have_v be_v do_v it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n of_o hart_n it_o also_o put_v i_o to_o some_o trouble_n that_o they_o of_o the_o house_n shall_v see_v i_o treat_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a people_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v for_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o my_o own_o wickedness_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o shall_v be_v oblige_v by_o that_o mean_n to_o be_v wicked_a no_o more_o and_o to_o give-ove_a my_o entertainment_n and_o pass-time_n and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v not_o this_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o with_o i_o so_o that_o i_o procure_v both_o with_o the_o portresse_n and_o with_o the_o sacristin_n that_o
be_v never_o so_o much_o alone_o though_o yet_o i_o feel_v still_o that_o i_o know_v there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o it_o be_v my_o imagination_n and_o my_o understanding_n which_o do_v i_o so_o much_o hurt_v in_o these_o occasion_n and_o cafe_v for_o as_o for_o my_o will_n i_o think_v it_o stand_v right_a in_o i_o and_o that_o it_o be_v dispose_v to_o all_o goodness_n but_o this_o understanding_n of_o i_o be_v so_o entire_o lose_v that_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n than_o some_o furious_a and_o mad_a kind_n of_o fool_n who_o no_o body_n be_v able_a to_o bind_v nor_o be_o i_o so_o far_a mistress_n thereof_o as_o that_o i_o can_v make_v it_o quiet_a for_o one_o credo_fw-la sometime_o i_o fall_v on_o laugh_v and_o yet_o then_o do_v i_o know_v my_o misery_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o permit_v she_o to_o do_v what_o she_o will_v and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v thank_v she_o never_o by_o any_o mean_n apply_v herself_o to_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v ill_a but_o only_o about_o thing_n which_o be_v indifferent_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v occur_v to_o be_v do_v either_o here_o or_o there_o or_o any_o where_o else_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v better_o the_o incomparable_a mercy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o upon_o his_o tying-up_a this_o mad_a fool_n when_o we_o be_v in_o perfect_a contemplation_n and_o here_o i_o consider_v what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o such_o person_n as_o hold_v i_o now_o for_o good_a can_v discern_v i_o to_o have_v these_o idleness_n and_o impertinency_n which_o i_o have_v describe_v here_o but_o now_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v she_o in_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o this_o i_o will_v fain_o see_v she_o rather_o in_o liberty_n and_o i_o express_v myself_o in_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n when_o o_o my_o god_n shall_v i_o arrive_v to_o see_v my_o soul_n all_o conjoin_a and_o unite_v together_o in_o celebrate_v thy_o praise_n that_o so_o all_o the_o power_n thereof_o may_v admire_v thou_o permit_v not_o heerafrer_n o_o lord_n that_o she_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o by_o piece_n for_o now_o it_o seem_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o the_o same_o power_n be_v run_v up_o and_o down_o in_o a_o several_a way_n these_o thing_n pass_v thus_o very_o often_o and_o i_o understand_v also_o very_o well_o that_o sometime_o the_o little_a corporal_a health_n i_o have_v contribute_v much_o to_o these_o inconvenience_n i_o also_o reflect_v much_o by_o these_o occasion_n upon_o the_o hurt_n which_o the_o sin_n of_o our_o first_o parent_n have_v do_v we_o for_o i_o think_v it_o be_v grow_v from_o thence_o that_o we_o be_v incapable_a to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o my_o own_o sin_n be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v so_o many_o i_o shall_v have_v remain_v more_o entire_a and_o free_a towards_o the_o do_n 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pedro_fw-la de_fw-fr alcantara_n declare_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o that_o i_o be_o not_o ignorant_a that_o in_o the_o serve_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o begin_v though_o yet_o the_o way_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v hold_v in_o do_v i_o favour_n be_v the_o same_o which_o he_o have_v use_v towards_o such_o as_o be_v good_a whereas_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o no_o more_o than_o a_o direct_a downright_a mere_a imperfection_n unless_o it_o be_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o love_v he_o for_o in_o this_o indeed_o i_o see_v well_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o favour_n that_o so_o i_o may_v perform_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o he_o i_o confess_v i_o think_v i_o love_v he_o but_o my_o action_n and_o the_o many_o imperfection_n which_o i_o discern_v therein_o give_v i_o great_a discomfort_n at_o other_o time_n my_o soul_n fall_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o foolery_n for_o so_o it_o be_v when_o i_o think_v i_o do_v neither_o good_a nor_o ill_a but_o follow_v on_o after_o the_o walk_n of_o other_o folk_n and_o this_o neither_o with_o pain_n nor_o glory_n nor_o with_o thought_n of_o life_n or_o death_n nor_o gust_n nor_o trouble_n yea_o i_o think_v she_o feel_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o walk_v on_o like_o some_o little_a ass_n who_o seed_n and_o sustain_v himself_o because_o they_o give_v he_o somewhat_o to_o eat_v and_o he_o eat_v almost_o without_o think_v what_o he_o be_v do_v for_o the_o soul_n when_o she_o be_v in_o this_o state_n be_v not_o likely_a to_o be_v without_o feed_v upon_o some_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o she_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o live_v in_o so_o miserable_a a_o life_n as_o this_o but_o pass_v through_o it_o with_o patience_n and_o equality_n of_o mind_n but_o yet_o these_o motion_n and_o effect_n be_v not_o find_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o understand_v herself_o by_o they_o it_o seem_v now_o also_o to_o i_o to_o be_v as_o when_o man_n sail_v at_o sea_n by_o the_o breath_n of_o a_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a wind_n for_o then_o we_o ride_v much_o way_n though_o we_o scarce_o know_v how_o whereas_o in_o those_o other_o condition_n the_o effect_n be_v so_o very_o great_a that_o the_o soul_n do_v almost_o instant_o discern_v she_o own_o improvement_n for_o instant_o do_v her_o desire_n boil_v up_o and_o the_o soul_n can_v never_o satisfy_v herself_o but_o they_o to_o who_o almighty_a god_n impart_v such_o impetuosity_n of_o love_n do_v find_v such_o operation_n as_o these_o this_o be_v like_o certain_a little_a spring_n which_o i_o have_v observe_v to_o rise_v and_o where_o the_o sand_n never_o cease_v to_o move_v upward_o and_o this_o example_n and_o comparison_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n seem_v very_o natural_a to_o i_o for_o love_n will_v be_v ever_o boil_v upward_o and_o consider_v and_o devise_v about_o what_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v contain_v in_o itself_o as_o it_o seem_v the_o water_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v in_o the_o earth_n which_o still_o be_v cast_v it_o up_o from_o thence_o and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o very_o usual_a for_o the_o soul_n not_o to_o be_v at_o quiet_a or_o in_o contentment_n with_o herself_o through_o the_o love_n she_o bear_v to_o almighty_a god_n but_o she_o be_v so_o bathe_v and_o soak_v and_o fill_v with_o it_o that_o she_o wish_n that_o other_o will_v drink_v too_o since_o for_o her_o part_n she_o can_v want_v that_o so_o they_o may_v assist_v she_o to_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o live_a water_n whereof_o our_o lord_n speak_v to_o the_o samaritan_n as_o indeed_o i_o be_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o that_o gospel_n and_o real_o it_o be_v most_o true_a that_o i_o be_v so_o even_o from_o my_o childhood_n though_o i_o do_v not_o then_o understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
lord_n with_o such_o a_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n have_v not_o dispatch_v all_o that_o business_n alone_o for_o till_o he_o out_o of_o his_o own_o goodness_n do_v so_o your_o reverence_n will_v already_o have_v see_v that_o on_o my_o part_n there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o only_o rise_v and_o fall_v over_o and_o over_o i_o will_v fain_o express_v this_o point_n home_n for_o i_o believe_v that_o many_o soul_n grow_v to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v because_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v before_o almighty_a god_n give_v they_o wing_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o have_v former_o use_v this_o comparison_n but_o it_o come_v also_o very_a well_o in_o here_o for_o i_o find_v that_o many_o soul_n be_v much_o afflict_v upon_o this_o occasion_n as_o namely_o when_o they_o begin_v with_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n to_o go_v forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o some_o do_v even_o give-ove_a all_o for_o love_v thereof_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v exterior_a thing_n and_o yet_o see_v more_o advantageous_a effect_n and_o fruit_n of_o such_o virtue_n as_o our_o lord_n have_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o who_o be_v more_o proficient_a then_o into_o they_o and_o that_o they_o can_v perform_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o in_o those_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n which_o man_n be_v advise_v to_o use_v so_o to_o make_v themselves_o ascend_v up_o the_o better_a and_o the_o high_a to_o this_o dignity_n and_o in_o fine_a when_o they_o can_v instant_o obtain_v these_o thing_n they_o discomfort_n and_o afflict_v themselves_o as_o for_o example_n not_o to_o care_v a_o straw_n if_o any_o body_n shall_v speak_v ill_a of_o we_o but_o rather_o to_o take_v more_o contentment_n in_o it_o then_o when_o they_o praise_v we_o to_o have_v very_o little_a esteem_n of_o our_o honour_n to_o be_v perfect_o untie_v from_o the_o care_n of_o kindred_n and_o friend_n and_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o rather_o to_o be_v weary_a of_o their_o company_n unless_o they_o be_v person_n of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o must_v in_o my_o opinion_n come_v from_o the_o gift_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o i_o hold_v they_o for_o supernatural_a blessing_n and_o very_o contrary_a to_o our_o own_o natural_a inclination_n and_o therefore_o let_v they_o not_o be_v afflict_v but_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o our_o lord_n that_o so_o what_o now_o they_o have_v in_o desire_n his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o afterward_o with_o effect_n and_o fruit_n by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o by_o their_o do_v on_o their_o part_n what_o they_o can_v for_o it_o be_v a_o most_o necessary_a thing_n for_o this_o weak_a and_o poor_a nature_n of_o we_o to_o place_v a_o great_a confidence_n in_o our_o b._n lord_n &_o not_o to_o put_v ourselves_o out_o of_o hart_n nor_o to_o think_v but_o that_o if_o we_o will_v proceed_v with_o courage_n we_o shall_v be_v victorious_a and_o because_o i_o have_v much_o experience_n hereof_o i_o will_v speak_v a_o word_n or_o two_o by_o way_n of_o advice_n to_o your_o reverence_n for_o you_o must_v not_o think_v though_o it_o may_v appear_v as_o if_o it_o be_v true_a that_o any_o virtue_n be_v already_o gain_v unless_o it_o be_v first_o compare_v and_o experiment_v by_o the_o vice_n which_o be_v contrary_a to_o it_o and_o we_o must_v always_o remain_v doubtful_a and_o suspicious_a and_o not_o cast_v off_o our_o care_n as_o long_o as_o we_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o our_o life_n for_o our_o weakness_n stick_v close_o and_o fast_o to_o we_o unless_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o the_o whole_a benefit_n be_v impart_v to_o we_o by_o divine_a grace_n to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v know_v what_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n be_v worth_a and_o that_o there_o be_v never_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v term_v all_o but_o in_o company_n of_o many_o danger_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o some_o few_o year_n ago_o that_o not_o only_o i_o be_v not_o inordinate_o tie_v to_o the_o love_n of_o any_o of_o my_o kindred_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v weary_a of_o they_o and_o it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o there_o be_v time_n when_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o endure_v their_o conversation_n but_o yet_o afterward_o there_o occur_v a_o certain_a business_n of_o much_o importance_n which_o oblige_v i_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o former_o i_o have_v love_v with_o very_o extraordinary_a affection_n and_o now_o be_v come_v again_o to_o converse_v with_o she_o we_o suit_v not_o so_o very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o for_o though_o she_o be_v better_a than_o i_o yet_o be_v of_o a_o different_a condition_n from_o i_o in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v marry_v the_o conversation_n be_v not_o always_o that_o which_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v and_o therefore_o i_o like_v to_o be_v alone_o as_o much_o as_o convenient_o i_o may_v but_o yet_o after_o a_o while_n i_o find_v that_o her_o trouble_n and_o affair_n bring_v i_o more_o resentment_n and_o care_n by_o much_o than_o such_o other_o do_v as_o belong_v to_o any_o christian_a neighbour_n of_o i_o at_o large_a and_o this_o give_v i_o some_o little_a disgust_n against_o myself_o for_o so_o in_o fine_a i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o i_o be_v not_o so_o very_o free_a and_o untie_v as_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v and_o that_o moreover_o i_o be_v to_o have_v avoid_v the_o occasion_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o this_o virtue_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v begin_v to_o give_v i_o may_v have_v get_v strength_n and_o i_o have_v procure_v through_o his_o favour_n to_o proceed_v in_o this_o manner_n ever_o since_o when_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o impart_v a_o virtue_n to_o a_o soul_n it_o be_v to_o be_v hold_v in_o great_a account_n and_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v we_o to_o expose_v it_o to_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v lose_v so_o be_v it_o in_o those_o thing_n which_o concern_v reputation_n and_o honour_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o and_o your_o reverence_n may_v well_o believe_v that_o not_o all_o they_o and_o we_o who_o esteem_v ourselves_o to_o be_v absolute_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n be_v yet_o so_o indeed_o and_o we_o have_v need_n enough_o not_o to_o be_v slack_a or_o negligent_a herein_o for_o whatsoever_o person_n there_o be_v who_o feel_v any_o care_n at_o all_o of_o any_o one_o point_n of_o honour_n in_o himself_o let_v he_o believe_v i_o if_o he_o mean_v to_o profit_v in_o spirit_n that_o there_o be_v ever_o a_o certain_a tie_n at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o it_o be_v by_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o chain_n as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o file_n in_o the_o world_n but_o god_n and_o prayer_n and_o very_o much_o endeavour_v on_o our_o part_n which_o will_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o divide_v it_o &_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o fast_o a_o knot_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v to_o see_v the_o mischief_n which_o it_o bring_v sometime_o i_o see_v certain_a person_n who_o seem_v to_o be_v even_a saint_n by_o their_o work_n for_o they_o do_v so_o very_a many_o and_o so_o great_a one_o that_o the_o world_n do_v even_o admire_v they_o and_o exclaim_v after_o this_o manner_n dear_a god_n and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o that_o do_v still_o inhabit_v the_o earth_n be_v he_o not_o already_o at_o the_o very_a top_n of_o perfection_n what_o be_v this_o and_o what_o can_v detain_v such_o a_o man_n from_o be_v a_o direct_a and_o downright_a saint_n who_o do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o god_n but_o my_o answer_n to_o this_o question_n be_v that_o this_o man_n have_v yet_o perhaps_o some_o little_a consideration_n &_o care_n of_o preserve_v some_o point_n of_o honour_n for_o himself_o yea_o and_o the_o worst_a of_o this_o business_n be_v that_o he_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v that_o in_o very_a deed_n there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o happen_v because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n make_v he_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v even_o oblige_v to_o have_v a_o great_a care_n of_o it_o well_o yet_o let_v they_o harken_v to_o i_o i_o beseech_v they_o and_o together_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o they_o will_v believe_v this_o poor_a little_a miserable_a ant_n who_o our_o lord_n command_v to_o speak_v that_o unless_o they_o free_v themselves_o from_o this_o caterpillar_n though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v not_o destroy_v the_o whole_a tree_n because_o some_o other_o virtue_n do_v still_o peradventure_o remain_v yet_o even_o all_o those_o very_a virtue_n will_v be_v worm-eaten_a nor_o will_v it_o ever_o be_v a_o beautiful_a
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o wondrous_a a_o encounter_n and_o accident_n as_o that_o be_v may_v well_o have_v disquiet_v and_o fright_v it_o but_o she_o begin_v already_o to_o enjoy_v lay_v quick_o all_o fear_n aside_o and_o together_o with_o the_o self_n same_o joy_n grow_v to_o have_v quietness_n withal_o but_o yet_o still_o remain_v in_o the_o rapt_v now_o the_o glory_n of_o this_o rapt_v be_v extreme_o great_a and_o i_o remain_v during_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o whole_a festivitie_n of_o pentecost_n so_o stun_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v besort_a and_o befool_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o dot_v with_o myself_o nor_o be_v i_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o understand_v how_o so_o high_a and_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o this_o be_v can_v possible_o find_v a_o rest_a place_n in_o i_o i_o neither_o hear_v nor_o see_v in_o effect_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o my_o interior_a joy_n i_o understand_v how_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o my_o soul_n remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a increase_n of_o improvement_n by_o enjoy_v a_o more_o sublime_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o my_o virtue_n also_o have_v gain_v a_o great_a increase_n of_o strength_n now_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n i_o see_v also_o at_o another_o time_n the_o same_o dove_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n save_o that_o i_o think_v both_o the_o beam_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o very_a wing_n do_v spread_v and_o extend_v themselves_o much_o further_o and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o then_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o win_v soul_n to_o god_n another_o time_n i_o see_v our_o bless_a lady_n put_v a_o white_a long_a garment_n upon_o the_o back_n of_o a_o certain_a graduate_n of_o the_o same_o order_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v former_o diverse_a time_n and_o she_o tell_v i_o that_o she_o have_v give_v he_o that_o mantle_n for_o have_v assist_v in_o the_o business_n of_o this_o house_n and_o that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v forbear_v the_o exercise_n thereof_o through_o his_o great_a weakness_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o for_o even_o then_o he_o have_v many_o rapt_n he_o write_v to_o i_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v about_o what_o course_n i_o think_v he_o be_v best_a to_o take_v for_o help_v because_o ever_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v do_v mass_n he_o use_v to_o fall_v into_o rapt_n which_o will_v last_v long_o without_o his_o be_v able_a to_o forbear_v they_o but_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o at_o length_n the_o reward_n of_o the_o great_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o during_o his_o whole_a life_n of_o
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o our_o very_a self_n and_o much_o less_o to_o clime-up_a as_o high_a as_o heaven_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o this_o will_v but_o distract_v the_o soul_n and_o weary_a the_o spirit_n and_o do_v we_o nothing_o near_o so_o much_o good_a i_o will_v also_o give_v a_o advertisement_n here_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o any_o body_n have_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o he_o may_v know_v the_o better_a how_o to_o carry_v himself_o it_o happen_v in_o some_o very_a great_a rapt_n when_o the_o time_n be_v past_a wherein_o the_o soul_n remain_v in_o union_n and_o when_o all_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n thereof_o be_v absorb_v and_o which_o last_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o a_o little_a while_n that_o the_o soul_n remain_v recollect_v and_o be_v not_o able_a in_o the_o exterior_a way_n to_o return_v to_o itself_o but_o those_o two_o power_n and_o faculty_n namely_o the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n remain_v as_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o frenzy_n in_o great_a disorder_n this_o i_o say_v happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o he_o they_o will_v never_o have_v the_o hart_n and_o courage_n to_o do_v as_o they_o do_v it_o appear_v to_o i_o as_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v express_o affirm_v that_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n distinct_o but_o yet_o somewhat_o i_o think_v must_v needs_o have_v be_v see_v by_o i_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o make_v this_o very_a comparison_n but_o that_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v signify_v by_o so_o delicate_a and_o subtle_a a_o way_n as_o that_o the_o understanding_n be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v it_o or_o else_o that_o i_o have_v no_o skill_n of_o all_o those_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v imaginary_a but_o yet_o in_o some_o of_o these_o i_o very_o think_v that_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o of_o the_o imaginary_a or_o form_v appearance_n and_o that_o only_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o rapt_v they_o be_v not_o able_a afterward_o to_o assign_v any_o form_n in_o what_o manner_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o to_o they_o there_o and_o how_o he_o be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o but_o yet_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v the_o divinity_n in_o the_o form_n of_o some_o bright_a diamond_n which_o be_v big_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n or_o else_o of_o some_o lookingglass_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o what_o i_o say_v before_o concern_v the_o soul_n in_o that_o other_o vision_n save_o that_o this_o be_v in_o so_o superior_a a_o kind_n of_o manner_n that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o and_o that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o do_v be_v see_v
in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o creature_n or_o other_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v by_o these_o people_n who_o commit_v dishonest_a filthy_a sin_n that_o so_o they_o may_v come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o secret_a and_o that_o almighty_a god_n have_v reason_n to_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o those_o wrong_n since_o they_o be_v act_v so_o true_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o with_o so_o base_a irreverence_n before_o he_o i_o see_v here_o also_o how_o just_o hell_n be_v deserve_v for_o any_o one_o mortal_a sin_n because_o it_o be_v pass_v our_o power_n to_o understand_v what_o a_o most_o grievous_a crime_n it_o be_v to_o commit_v it_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n and_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a distance_n and_o dissimilitude_n be_v find_v between_o that_o which_o he_o be_v and_o that_o which_o our_o sin_n be_v and_o how_o it_o appear_v even_o hereby_o so_o much_o the_o better_a how_o great_a his_o mercy_n be_v since_o notwithstanding_o he_o know_v all_o this_o he_o yet_o endure_v us._n it_o have_v also_o make_v i_o consider_v that_o if_o such_o a_o vision_n as_o this_o can_v leave_v the_o soul_n so_o extreme_o astonish_v and_o amaze_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n will_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n prove_v to_o be_v when_o this_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v show_v itself_o with_o all_o clearness_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v also_o clear_o see_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n our_o sin_n be_v which_o we_o commit_v against_o he_o o_o my_o dear_a god_n what_o blindness_n be_v this_o which_o have_v seize_v i_o and_o i_o have_v often_o be_v amaze_v even_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v write_v this_o and_o your_o reverence_n need_v be_v amaze_v at_o nothing_o but_o how_o i_o be_o able_a even_o to_o live_v whilst_o i_o be_o look_v both_o upon_o these_o thing_n and_o myself_o but_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v such_o thing_n at_o my_o hand_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o with_o much_o quietness_n and_o sweetness_n i_o think_v i_o be_v all_o emcompass_v with_o angel_n and_o very_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v a_o humble_a suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n of_o his_o church_n and_o he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o much_o good_a which_o a_o certain_a order_n shall_v do_v the_o world_n in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o the_o great_a courage_n wherewith_o the_o member_n thereof_o shall_v defend_v and_o uphold_v the_o catholic_a faith_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n near_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n there_o appear_v to_o i_o a_o certain_a saint_n who_o order_n be_v in_o some_o decay_n he_o have_v a_o great_a book_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o open_v and_o will_v i_o to_o read_v certains_fw-fr letter_n in_o it_o which_o be_v very_o legible_a and_o large_a and_o they_o say_v thus_o in_o future_a time_n this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n 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that_o if_o he_o will_v he_o can_v he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o whole_o hit_v the_o mark_n in_o performance_n of_o his_o holy_a will_n and_o not_o permit_v that_o this_o soul_n be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v by_o so_o many_o way_n and_o even_o cunning_a industry_n of_o he_o yea_o and_o that_o so_o many_o time_n to_o deliver_v and_o bring_v out_o of_o hell_n and_o to_o draw_v up_o so_o very_o close_o to_o himself_o amen_o benedictus_fw-la deus_fw-la this_o book_n be_v finish_v the_o first_o time_n in_o june_n in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1562._o it_o be_v write_v then_o without_o distinction_n of_o chapter_n but_o afterward_o it_o be_v write_v by_o this_o glorious_a saint_n again_o and_o then_o it_o be_v divide_v into_o chapter_n and_o many_o thing_n also_o be_v add_v by_o she_o which_o happen_v afterward_o and_o particular_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n a_o 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