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A54794 Speculum crape-gownorum, or, An old looking-glass for the young academicks, new foyl'd with reflections on some of the late high-flown sermons : to which is added, An essay towards a sermon of the newest fashion / by a guide to the inferiour clergy. Phillips, John, 1631-1706.; Defoe, Daniel, 1661?-1731. 1682 (1682) Wing P2112; ESTC R20961 21,465 37

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meal all the week is the Tanners Beef and Pudding for his empty Sermon on ●unday or that his advice and admonitions can come from Heaven of whom Providence seems to have taken so little care Were true vertue and right Judgment reigning in the hearts of men such idle prejudices would vainly be suppos'd and the Doctrine that proceeded from the most tatter'd habit would be as acceptable as the sayings that flow'd from he mouth of one clad in Silk But in regard the world is not so absolutely perfect it is never to be question'd whether the Alms-Man-Teacher of a Parish can be respected by those to whom he is beholding for his daily Bread Whether the that cant look out of his Pulpit into the Church but that he spies one or other upon whom he depends and for want of mony has not confidence to reprehend his Sex●on can utter with courage any thing that can be so benefical to his people as to render them his diligent hearers and hearty respecters The Divine Service 't is true is the same whether read in a Cathedral or a Thatch'd Church whether read by an Archbishop or the meanest of his Priests But as the Solemnity of the place has a great influence upon the peoples devotion so likewise the condition and quality of the person that reads it whose circumstances as to this life are so bad and low in this world Nor do they delight to confess their sins or sing praises to God with him who sighs more for want of mony and Victuals than for his trespasses and offences Nor indeed can this well otherwise be For where the Minister is hard pinch'd as to the tolerable conveniences of this life the chief of his care must be spent not in considering what Text to take what Doctrine to Preach what Authors to make use of but the chief of his though●s must be how to live and provide for his Family He is musing when the next comfortable and seasonable Goose or the next Basket of bak'd Pears will come to cherish his forlorn Stomach and how he shall hold out till his small offerings come in He is pining after the consolations of the next Christning Cakes and the comforts of the next Marriage or Funeral In the midst of these fears disasters of great consequence attacque him The uncompassionate Kite surprizes two of his unfortunate Chickens out of the number of three his only Sow miscarries His Neighbours Horse breaks his Hedge and devours the sustenance of his si●gle Cow To him the los●es of a Spanish Merchant and far more distracting nay we 'll suppose him sometimes forc'd to mount his slow●pac'd Pegasus between a pair of Dossers to carry his brace of Geese to Market for the return of a brown Loaf and a hard Cheese Cares which are altogether incompatible with Study The other are considerations befitting a poor mans thoughts For a Family cannot be govern'd by Texts and Contexts not will the Infant that lies crying in the Cradle be satisfied without a little milk and perhaps a little Sugar too though there should be some short System of Divinity in the House But grant that our Diminutive Divine be at somewhat more rest in his mind and that he have some kind of competency to answer the cravings of Humane Nature yet not being able to purchase the necessary helps of good Books it is impossible he should eve● attain to those accomplishments which are requisite to gain him that esteem which should give him credit in his Preaching For it is not a small six●peny Concordance nor a Latin Book of Sentences no● Caryl upon Pin●da nor Dod upon the Commandments not Clarks lives of Famous Men wherein many things are taken upon trust that will do the work Divinity is a copious study and there are so many great men that have writ upon the Subject in all its parts as require the purchase of more Languages than one so that they who are disenabled from the purchasing part are no way to be entrusted with the teaching par● A great pity no doubt that thus it should be for there are certainly no doubt several in this condition whose better parts and ingenuities are curb'd and depress'd by these Domestick necessities For Ha●d facile emergunt quorum virtutibus obstat Res angusta domi But such is the eagerness and ambition that some people have of going in●o Orders that though the Churches and Chappels we have are enough considering the bigness of the Nation yet in respect of that infinite number that are in holy Orders there is a very great want Now whether it be most convenient to make Ministers for Churches or Churches for Ministers is the Question But the Proverb is talk of any thing but building of Churches For if we build more Churches we must make more Land for their endowment which cannot be done without drying up the Sea and that 's a very difficult Task However they will get into Orders come what will of it though perhaps they understand neither their message nor their business For some are hugely in love with the meer Title of a Priest or Minister others fancy tha● a●long Crape Gown and Cassock is a handsome garment though it be in the Winter and never paid for But if they get but a Scarf about their Necks by vertue of a Chaplainship in some Noble Family then how big they look in an English Booksellers Shop for the Latin ones they ●eldom haunt as being out of their sphear From thence they cluster to the Coffee House there to order the Government and rail against the Dissenters men of far more understanding than themselves and shew an equal composition of discretion learning and Charity of each two drams their discretion in medling with those things that nothing concern them their learning in the management of their Arguments and their Charity in the continual invectives against they know not who themselves and of whom they know no more by due proof but that they are their fellow Christians 'T was a happy invention for the Crape Gown Men this setting up of Coffe●Houses For to drink in Taverns was scandalous to be seen in an Alehouse more unbeseeming but to sit idling away their time in a Coffee●House like the Disciples of H●ly and Mahomet till it be time to go to farthing Lantralew with a young Gentlewoman that 's an employment without the verge of reprehension Especially if they can be heard to rail loud enough like the Popes white Boyes against Heresie Schism and Fanaticism But what 's become of Rome and the so much exclaim'd against Babylon Those are Airy Notions now Fanaticism and Dissenterism is the mode now and as they are modish in their Habits they think it more convenient to be modish in their Sermons Besides the Papists are a sort of cunning Fellows they argue shrewdly they dispute Philosophically and Metaphysically And there be many knotty points in controversie between them and the Church of England which