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A08009 A pleasant comedie, called Summers last will and testament. Written by Thomas Nash; Summer's last will and testament Nash, Thomas, 1567-1601. 1600 (1600) STC 18376; ESTC S110081 34,412 60

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termes Bring forth no action worthie of their bread What should I speake of pale physicions Who as Fismenus non nasatus was Vpon a wager that his friends had laid Hir'de to liue in a priuie a whole yeare So are they hir'de for lucre and for gaine All their whole life to smell on excrements Wil. Summer Very true for I haue heard it for a prouerbe many a time and oft Hunc os fatidum fah he stinkes like a phisicion Winter Innumerable monstrous practises Hath loytring contemplation brought forth more Which t' were too long particular to recite Suffice they all conduce vnto this end To banish labour nourish slothfulnesse Pamper vp lust deuise newfangled sinnes Nay I will iustifie there is no vice Which learning and vilde knowledge brought not in Or in whose praise some learned haue not wrote The arte of murther Machiauel hath pend Whoredome hath Ouid to vphold her throne And Aretine of late in Italie Whose Cortigiana toucheth bawdes their trade Gluttonie Epicurus doth defend And bookes of th' arte of cookerie confirme Of which Platina hath not writ the least Drunkennesse of his good behauiour Hath testimoniall from where he was borne That pleasant worke de arte bibendi A drunken Dutchman spued out few yeares since Nor wanteth sloth although sloths plague bee want His paper pillers for to leane vpon The praise of nothing pleades his worthinesse Follie Erasmus sets a flourish on For baldnesse a bald asse I haue forgot Patcht vp a pamphletarie periwigge Slouenrie Grobianus magnifieth Sodomitrie a Cardinall commends And Aristotle necessarie deemes In briefe all bookes diuinitie except Are nought but tales of the diuels lawes Poyson wrapt vp in sugred words Mans pride damnations props the worlds abuse Then censure good my Lord what bookemen are If they be pestilent members in a state He is vnfit to sit at sterne of state That fauours such as will o'rethrow his state Blest is that gouernment where no arte thriues Vox populi vex Dei The vulgars voice it is the voice of God Yet Tully saith Non est consilium in vulgo non ratio non discrimen non differentia The vulgar haue no learning wit nor sence The hauing spent all his time In studie of Philosophie and artes And noting well the vanitie of them Wisht with repentance for his follie past Some would teach him th' arte of obliuion How to forget the arts that he had learnd And Cicero whom we alleadg'd before As saith Valerius stepping into old age Despised learning lothed eloquence Naso that could speake nothing but pure verse And had more wit then words to vtter it And words as choise as euer Poet had Cride and exclaimde in bitter agonie When knowledge had corrupted his chaste mind Discite qui sapitis non haec qua scimus inertes Sed trepidas acies fera bella sequi You that be wise and euer meane to thriue O studie not these toyes we sluggards vse But follow armes and waite on barbarous warres Young men yong boyes beware of Schoolemasters They will infect you marre you bleare your eyes They seeke to lay the curse of God on you Namely confusion of languages Wherewith those that the towre of Babel built Accursed were in the worldes infancie Latin it was the speech of Infidels Logique hath nought to say in a true cause Philosophie is curiositie And Socrates was therefore put to death Onely for he was a Philosopher Abhorre contemne despise these damned snares Will Summer Out vpon it who would be a Scholler not I I promise you my minde alwayes gaue me this learning was such a filthy thing which made me hate it so as I did when I should haue beene at schoole construing Batte mi fili mi fili mi Batte I was close vnder a hedge or vnder a barne wall playing at spanne Counter or Iacke in a boxe my master beat me my father beat me my mother gaue me bread and butter yee all this would not make me a squitter-booke It was my destinie I thanke her as a most courteous goddesse that shee hath not cast me away vpon gibridge O in what a mightie vaine am I now against Horne-bookes Here before all this companie I professe my selfe on open enemy to Inke and paper I le make it good vpon the Accidence body that In speech is the diuels Pater noster Nownes and Pronounes I pronounce you as traitors to boyes buttockes Syntaxis and Prosodia you are tormenters of wit good for nothing but to get a schoolemaster two pence a weeke Hang copies flye out phrase books let pennes be turnd to picktooths bowles cards dice you are the true liberal sciēces I le ne're be Goosequil gentlemē while I liue Sūmer. Winter with patience vnto my griefe I haue attended thy inuectiue tale So much vntrueth wit neuer shadowed Gainst her owne bowels thou Arts weapons turn'st Let none beleeue thee that will euer thriue Words haue their course the winde blowes where it lists He erres alone in error that persists For thou gainst Autumne such exceptions tak'st I graunt his ouer-seer thou shalt be His treasurer protector and his staffe He shall do nothing without thy consent Prouide thou for his weale and his content Winter Thanks gracious Lord so I le dispose of him As it shall not repent you of your gift Autumne On such conditions no crowne will I take I challenge Winter for my enemie A most insaciate miserable carle That to fill vp his garners to the brim Cares not how he indammageth the earth What pouerty he makes it to indure He ouer-bars the christall streames with yee That none but he and his may drinke of them All for a fowle Back-winter he layes vp Hard craggie wayes and vncouth slippery paths He frames that passengers may slide and fall Who quaketh not that heareth but his name O but two sonnes he hath worse then himselfe Christmas the one a pinch-back cut-throate churle That keepes no open house as he should do Delighteth in no game or fellowship Loues no good deeds and hateth talke But sitteth in a corner turning Crabbes Or coughing o're a warmed pot of Ale Back-winter th' other that 's his none sweet boy Who like his father taketh in all points An elfe it is compact of enuious pride A miscreant borne for a plague to men A monster that deuoureth all he meetes Were but his father dead so he would raigne Yea he would go goodneere to deale by him As Nabuchodonozors vngratious sonne Euilmerodach by his father dealt Who when his sire was turned to an Oxe Full greedily snatcht vp his soueraigntie And thought himselfe a king without controwle So it fell out seuen yeares expir'de and gone Nabuchodonozor came to his shape againe And dispossest him of the regiment Which my young prince no little greeuing at When that his father shortly after dide Fearing lest he should come from death againe As he came from an Oxe to be a man Wil'd that his body spoylde of
A PLEASANT Comedie called Summers last will and Testament Written by Thomas Nash. Imprinted at London by Simon Stafford for Water Burre 1600 SVMMERS last will and Testament Enter Will Summers in his fooles coate but halfe on comming out NOctem peccatis fraudibus obiice nubem There is no such fine time to play the knaue in as the night I am a Goose or a Ghost at least for what with turmoyle of getting my fooles apparell and care of being perfit I am sure I haue not yet supt to night Will Summers Ghost I should be come to present you with Summers last will and Testament Be it so if my cousin Ned will lend me his Chayne and his Fiddle Other stately pac't Prologues vse to attire themselues within I that haue a toy in my head more then ordinary and vse to goe without money without garters without girdle without a hat-band without poynts to my hose without a knife to my dinner and make so much vse of this word without in euery thing will here dresse me without Dick Huntley cryes Begin begin and all the whole house For shame come away when I had my things but now brought me out of the Lawndry God forgiue me I did not see my Lord before I le set a good face on it as though what I had talkt idly all this while were my part So it is boni viri that one foole presents another and I a foole by nature and by arte do speake to you in the person of the Idiot our Play-maker He like a Foppe an Asse must be making himselfe a publike laughing stock haue no thanke for his labor where other Magisterij whose inuention is farre more exquisite are content to sit still and doe nothing I le shewe you what a scuruy Prologue he had made me in an old vayne of similitudes if you bee good fellowes giue it the hearing that you may iudge of him thereafter The Prologue AT a solemne feast of the Triumuiri in Rome it was seene and obserued that the birds ceased to sing sate solitarie on the house tops by reason of the sight of a paynted Serpēt set openly to view So fares it with vs nouices that here betray our imperfections we afraid to looke on the imaginary serpent of Enuy paynted in mens affections haue ceased to tune any musike of mirth to your eares this tweluemonth thinking that as it is the nature of the serpent to hisse so childhood and ignorance would play the goslings contemning and condemning what they vnderstood not Their censures we wey not whose sences are not yet vnswadled The little minutes will be continually striking though no man regard them Whelpes will barke before they can see and striue to byte before they haue teeth Politianus speaketh of a beast who while hee is cut on the table drinketh and represents the motions voyces of a liuing creature Such like foolish beasts are we who whilest we are cut mocked flowted at in euery mans common talke will notwithstanding proceed to shame our selues to make sport No man pleaseth all we seeke to please one Didymus wrote foure thousand bookes or as some say six thousand of the arte of Grammar Our Authour hopes it may be as lawfull for him to write a thousand lines of as light a subiect Socrates whom the Oracle pronounced the wisest man of Greece sometimes daunced Scipio and Lelius by the sea-side played at peeble-stone Semel insaniuimus omnes Euery man cannot with Archimedes make a heauen of brasse or dig gold out of the iron mynes of the lawe Such odde trifles as Mathematicians experiments be Artificiall flyes to hang in the ayre by themselues daunsing balles an egge-shell that shall clyme vp to the top of a speare fiery breathing goares Poetae noster professeth not to make Placeat sibi quisque heebit What 's a foole but his bable Deepe reaching wits heere is no deepe streame for you to angle in Moralizers you that wrest a neuer meant meaning out of euery thing applying all things to the present time keepe your attention for the common Stage for here are no quips in Characters for you to reade Vayne glozers gather what you will Spite spell backwards what thou canst As the Parthians fight flying away so will wee prate and talke but stand to nothing that we say How say you my masters doe you not laugh at him for a Coxcombe Why he hath made a Prologue longer then his Play nay 't is no Play neyther but a shewe I le be sworne the figge of Rowlands God-sonne is a Gyant in comparison of it What can be made of Summers last will Testament Such another thing as Cyllian of Braynfords will where shee bequeathed a score of farts amongst her friends Forsooth because the plague raignes in most places in this latter end of summer Summer must come in sicke he must call his officers to account yeeld his throne to Autumne make Winter his Executour with tittle tattle Tom boy God giue you good night in Watling street I care not what I say now for I play no more then you heare some of that you heard to by your leaue was extempore He were as good haue let me had the best part for I le be reueng'd on him to the vttermost in this person of Will Summer which I haue put on to play the Prologue and meane not to put off till the play be done I le sit as a Chorus and flowte the Actors and him at the end of euery Sceane I know they will not interrupt me for feare of marring of all but looke to your cues my masters for I intend to play the knaue in cue and put you besides all your parts if you take not the better heede Actors you Rogues come away cleare your throats blowe your noses and wype your mouthes e're you enter that you may take no occasion to spit or to cough when you are non plus And this I barre ouer and besides That none of you stroake your beardes to make action play with your cod-piece poynts or stād fumbling on your buttom when you know not how to bestow your fingers Serue God and act cleanly a fit of mirth and an old song first if you will Enter Summer leaning on Autumnes and Winters shoulders and attended on with a trayne of Satyrs and wood-Nymphs singing Fayre Summer droops droope men and beasts therefore So fayre a summer looke for neuer more All good things vanish lesse then in a day Peace plenty pleasure sodainely decay Goe not yet away bright soule of the sad yeare The earth is hell when thou lean'st to appeare What shall those flowres that deckt thy garland erst Vpon thy graue be wastfully disperst O trees consume your sap in sorrowes sourse Streames turne to teares your tributary course Goe not yet hence bright soule of the sad yeare The earth is hell when thou leau'st to appeare The Satyrs and wood-Nymphs goe out singing and leaue