of Darius which he devoted to enclose Homer s Works For I must tell you Neighbor that Book deserves particular respect for two things First for its own Excellencies and Secondly for the sake of its Author who is said to have been a learned King of Portugal Then all the Adventures of the Castle of Miraguarda are well and art fully manag'd The Dialogue very courtly and clear and the Decorum strictly observ'd in every Character with equal Propriety and Judgment Therefore Mr Nicholas continu'd he with submission to your better advice this and Amadis de Gaul shall be exempted from the Fire and let all the rest be condemn'd without any further enquiry or examination By no means I beseech you return'd the Barber for this which I have in my hands is the famous Don Bellianis Truly cry'd the Curate he with his second third and fourth parts had need of a Dose of Rhuharb to purge his excessive Choler besides his Castle of Fame shou'd be demolish'd and a heap of other Rubbish remov'd In order to which I give my Vote to grant 'em the benefit of Transportation and as they shew signs of amendment so shall Mercy or Justice be us'd towards 'em In the mean time Neighbor take 'em into custody and keep 'em safe at home but let none be permitted to converse with ' em Content cry'd the Barber and to save himself the labour of looking on any more Books of that kind he bid the House-keeper take all the great Volumes and throw 'em into the Yard She who long'd to be at that Sport as much as to be making her Wedding Smock had no need of being twice spoken to so that laying hold on no less than eight Volumes at once she presently made 'em leap towards the place of Execution But as she went too eagerly to work taking more Books than she cou d conveniently carry she happen'd to drop one at the Barbers Feet which he took up out of Curiosity to see what it was and found it to be the History of the famous Knight Tirante the White good lack-a-day cry'd the Curate Is Tirante the White here Oh pray good Neighbour give it me by all means for I promise my self to find in it a Treasure of Delight and a Mine of Recreation There we have that valorous Knight Don Kyrie-Eleiso of Montaban with his Brother Thomas of Montaban and the Knight Fonseca the combat of the valorous Detriante with the Mastiff the dainty and witty conceits of the Damsel Plazerdemivida with the Loves and Guiles of the Widow Reposada together with the Lady Empress that was in Love with Hippolito her Gentleman Usher I vow and protest to you neighbour continued he that as for style there is not a better Book in the World Why here your Knights eat and drink sleep and dye natural Deaths in their Beds nay and first make their last Wills and Testaments with a World of other things of which all the rest of these sort of Books don't say one syllable Yet after all I must tell you that for wilfully taking the pains to write so many foolish things the worthy Author fairly deserves to be sent to the Galleys for all the days of his life Take it home with you and read it and then tell me whether I have told the truth or no. I believe you reply'd the Barber But what shall we do with all these smaller Books that are left Certainly return'd the Curate these cannot be Books of Knight Errantry they are too small You 'll find they are only Poets And so opening one it happen'd to be the Diana of Montemayor which made him say believing all the rest to be of that stamp These do not deserve to be punisht like the others for they neither have done nor can do that mischief which those Stories of Chivalry have done being generally ingenious Books that can do no body any prejudice Oh! good Sir cry'd the Neice burn 'em with the rest I beseech you for shou'd my Unkle get cur'd of his Knight-Errant-Frenzy and betake himself to the reading of these Books we shou'd have him turn Shepherd and so wander thro the Woods and Fields nay and what wou'd be worse yet turn Poet which they say is a catching and an incurable Disease The Gentlewoman is in the right said the Curate and it will not be amiss to remove that stumbling Blockout of our Friends way and since we began with the Diana of Montemayor I am of opinion we ought not to burn it but only take out that part of it which treats of the Magician Felicia and the enchanted water as also all the longer Poems and let the work escape with its Prose and the honour of being the chief of that kind Here 's another Diana quoth the Barber the second of that name by Salmantino nay and a third too by Gil Polo Pray said the Curate let Salmantino encrease the number of the Crâ—minals in the Yard but as for that by Gil Polo preserve it as charily as if Apollo himself had wrote it and go on as fast as you can I beseech you good Neighbour for it grows late Here quoth the Barber I 've a Book call d the Ten Books of the Fortune of Love written by Anthony de Lofrasco a Sardinian Poet. Now by my holy Orders cry'd the Curate I do not think since Apollo was Apollo the Muses Muses and the Poets Poets there was ever a more comical more silly Book Of all the works of the kind commend me to this for in its way 't is certainly the best and most singular that ever was publish'd and he that never read it may safely think he never in his Life read any thing that was pleasant Give it me Neighbour continu'd he for I 'm more glad to have found it than if any one had given me a Cassock of the best Florence-Prunella With that he laid it aside with extraordinary satisfaction and the Barbâ—â— went on These that follow cry d he are The Shepherd of Iberia The Nymphs of Enares and The Cure of Jealousy Take 'em Jaylor quoth the Curate and never ask me why for then wâ— shall ne're have done The next said the Barber is The Shepherd of Filida he 's no Shepherd return'd the Curate but a very discreet Courtiâ—â— keep him as a precious Jewel There 's a biggeâ— cry'd the Barber call'd The Treasure of divers Poems had there been less of 'em said the Curate they wou'd have been more esteem'd 'T is fit the Book shou'd be prun'd and clear'd of several trifles that disgrace the rest Keep it however because the Author is my Friend and for the sake of his other more heroic and lofty Productions Here 's a Book of Songs by Lopez Maldonado cry'd the Barber he 's also my particular Friend said the Curate his Verses are very well lik d when he reads em himself and his voice is so excellent that they charm us whenever he sings ' em He seems
find himself where he might flatter his Ambition with the hopes of fresh Adventures to signalize his Valour for these vast Desarts made him call to mind the wonderful Exploits of other Knights-Errant perform'd in such Solitudes Fill'd with those airy Notions he thought on nothing else But Sancho was for more substantial Food and now thinking himself quite out of the reach of the holy Brotherhoods pursuit his only care was to fill his Belly with the Relicks of the Clerical Booty which Rozinante was now forc'd to carry and so trudging on after his Master he slily took out now one piece of Meat then another and kept his Grinders going faster than his Feet Thus plodding on he wou'd not have given a Rush to have met with any other Adventure While he was thus employ'd he observ'd that his Master endeavour'd to take up something that lay on the ground with the end of his Lance this made him run to help him to lift up the Bundle which proved to be a Portmanteau and the Seat of a Saddle that were half or rather quite rotted with lying expos'd to the Weather The Portmanteau was somewhat heavy and Don Quixote having order'd Sancho to see what it contain'd tho it was shut with a Chain and a Padlock he easily saw what was in it thro the Cracks and pull'd out four fine Holland Shirts and other clean and fashionable Linen besides a considerable quantity of Gold ty'd up in a Hankerchief Bless my Eye-sight quoth Sancho and now Heav'n I thank thee for sending us a lucky Adventure once â—n our Lives With that groping further in the Portmanteau he found a Table-Book richly bound Give me this said Don Quixote and do thou keep the Gold Heaven reward your Worship quoth Sancho kissing his Master's hand and at the same time clapping up the Linnen and the other Things into the Bag where he kept the Victuals I fancy said Don Quixote that some Person having lost his way in these Mountains has been met by Robbers who have murder'd him and buried his Body somewhere hereabouts Sure your Worship 's mistaken answer'd Sancho for had they been Highway-men they wou'd ne'r have left such a Booty behind ' em Thou' rt in the right reply'd Don Quixote and therefore I cannot imagin what it must be But stay I will examin the table-Table-Book perhaps we shall find something written in it that will help us to discover what I wou'd know With that he open'd it and the first thing he found was the following rough draught of a Sonnet fairly enough written to be read with ease So he read it aloud that Sancho might know what it was as well as himself The RESOLVE A Sonnet Love's God sure never knows our Pain Or Cruelty's his darling Attribute Else he 'd ne'r force me to complain And to his Spight my raging Pains impute But sure if Love's a God he must Have knowledg equal to his Pow'r And 't is a Crime to think a God unjust Whence then the Pains that now my Heart devour From Phillis No Why do I pause Such cruel Ills ne'r boast so sweet a Cause Nor from the Gods such Torments do we bear Let Death then quickly be my Cure When thus we Ills unknown endure 'T is shortest to despair The De'il of any thing can be pic'kd out of this quoth Sancho unless you can tell who that same Phill is I did not read Phill but Phillis said Don Quixote O then mayhap the Man has lost his Philly-foal Phillis said Don Quixote is the Name of a Lady that 's belov'd by the Author of this Sonnet who truly seems to be a pretty good Poet or I've but little Judgment Why then quoth Sancho belike your Worship understands how to make Varses too That I do answer'd Don Quixote and better than thou imagin'st as thou shalt see when I shall give thee a Letter written all in Verse to carry to my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso For I must tell thee Friend Sancho all the Knights-Errant or at least the greatest part of 'em in former times were great Poets and as great Musicians those two Qualifications or to speak better those two Gifts or Accomplishments being almost inseparable from amorous Adventurers Tho I must confess the Verses of the Knights in former Ages are not altogether so polite nor so adorn'd with Words as with Thoughts and Invention Good Sir quoth Sancho look again in the pocket-Pocket-Book mayhap you 'll find somewhat that will inform you of what you wou'd know With that Don Quixote turning over-leaf There 's some Prose cry'd he and I think 't is the sketch of a Love-Letter O good your Worship quoth Sancho read it out by all means for I mightily delight in hearing of Love-Stories Don Quixote read it aloud and found what follows THE Falshood of your Promises and my Despair hurry me from you for ever and you shall sooner hear the News of my Death than the Cause of my Complaints You have forsaken me ungrateful Fair for one more wealthy indeed but not more deserving than your abandon'd Slave Were Virtue a Treasure esteemed equal to its worth by your unthinking Sex I must presume to say I should have no reason to envy the Wealth of others and no Misfortune to bewail What your Beauty had rais'd your Infidelity has destroy'd The first made me mistake you for an Angel but the last has convinc'd me you'r a very Woman However O too lovely disturber of my Peace may uninterrupted Rest and downy Ease engross your happy Hours and may forgiving Heaven still keep your Husband's Perfidiousness conceal'd lest it should cause your repenting Heart a Sigh for the Injustice you have done to so faithful a Lover and so I should be prompted to a Revenge which I do not desire to take Farewel This Letter said Don Quixote does not give us any further insight into the Things we wou'd know all I can infer from it is that the Person that wrote it was a betray'd Lover And so turning over the remaining Leaves he found several other Letters and Verses some of which were legible and some so scribbled that he could not well peruse ' em As for those he read he cou'd meet with nothing in 'em but Accusations Complaints and Expostulations Distrusts and Jealousies Pleasures and Discontents Favours and Disdain And while the Knight was poring in the Table-Book Sancho was romaging the Portmanteau and the Seat of the Saddle with that exactness that he did not leave a Corner unsearch'd nor a Seam unript nor a single Lock of Wool unpickt for the Gold he had found which was above a hundred Ducats had but whetted his greedy Appetite and made him wild for more Yet tho this was all he cou'd find he thought himself well paid for the more than Herculean Labours he had undergone nor cou'd he now repine at his being toss'd in a Blanket the straining and griping Operation of the Balsam the Benedictions of the Packslaves and Leavers
these Matters The Gentleman only ask'd me a Question said she and it would be uncivil not to answer him Well said the Curate do me the favour good Landlord to bring out these Books that I may have a sight of them With all my Heart said the Inn-keeper and with that stepping to his Chamber he open'd a little Portmantle that shut with a Chain and took out three large Volumes with a parcel of Manuscripts in a fair legible Letter The Title of the first was Don Cirongilio of Thrace the second Felixmarte of Hircania and the third was the History of the Great Captain Gonçalo Hernandez de Corduba and the Life of Diego Garcia de Paredes bound together The Curate reading the Titles turn'd to the Barber and told him they wanted now Don Quixote's House-keeper and his Niece I shall do as well with the Books said the Barber for I can find the way to the Back-yard or the Chimney there 's a good Fire that will do their Business Business said the Inn-keeper I hope you wou'd not burn my Books Only two of them said the Curate this same Don Cirongilio and his Friend Felixmarte I hope Sir said the Host they are neither Hereticks nor Flegmaticks Schismaticks you mean said the Barber I mean so said the Inn-keeper and if you must burn any let it be this of Gonçalo Hernandez and Diego Garcia for you should sooner burn one of my Children than the others These Books honest Friend said the Curate that you appear so concern'd for are sensless Rhapsodies of Falshoods and Folly and this which you so despise is a true History and contains a true Account of two celebrated Men the first by his Bravery and Courage purchas'd immortal Fame and the Name of the Great General by the universal Consent of Mankind The other Diego Garcia de Paredes was of Noble Extraction and born in Truxillo a Town of Estremadura and was a Man of singular Courage and such mighty Strength that with one of his Hands he could stop a Mill-wheell in its most rapid Motion and with his single Force defended the Passage of a Bridge against a great Army Several other great Actions are related in the Memoirs of his Life but all with so much Modesty and unbiass'd Truth that they easily pronounce him his own Historiographer and had they been written by any one else with Freedom and Impartiality they might have eclips'd your Hector's Achilloses and Orlando's with all their Heroick Exploits That 's a fine Jest faith said the Inn-keeper my Father could have told you another Tale Sir Holding a Mill-wheel why is that such a mighty Matter one 's fish do but turn over a Leaf of Felixmarte there you 'll find how with one single Back-stroke he cut five swinging Giants off by the middle like so many Bean-stalks and read how at other time he Charg'd a most Mighty and Powerful Army of above a Million and Six hundred thousand fighting Men all Arm'd Cap-a-pee and Routed them all like so many Sheep And what can you say of the Worthy Cirongilio of Thrace who as you may read there going by Water one Day was assaulted by a fiery Serpent in the middle of the River he presently leap'd nimbly upon her Back and hanging by her Scaly Neck grasp'd her Throat fast with both his Arms so that the Serpent finding her self almost strangl'd was forc'd to dive into the Water to save her self and carry'd the Knight who would not quit his hold to the very bottom where he found a Stately Palace and such pleasant Gardens that 't was a wonder and strait the Serpent turn'd into a very old Man and told him such things as were never heard nor spoken Now a Fig for your great Captain and your Diego Garcia Cardenio and Dorothea hearing the vehemence of his Discourse imagin'd that he wou'd make another Don Quixote I tell thee Friend said the Curate there were never any such Persons as your Books of Chivalry mention upon the Face of the Earth your Felixmarte of Hircania and your Cirongilio of Thrace are all but Chimeras and Fictions of idle and luxuriant Wits who wrote them for the same Reason that you read them because they had nothing else to do Sir said the Inn-keeper you must Angle with another Bait or you 'll catch no Fish I know what 's what as well as another I can tell where my own Shooe pinches me and you must not think Sir to catch old Birds with Chaff 't is a pleasant Jest faith that you should pretend to perswade me now that these notable Books are Lies and Stories why Sir are they not in Print Are they not Publish'd according to Order Licens'd by Authority from the Privy Council And do you think that they would permit so many Lies to be Printed at once and such a Number of Battels and Enchantments to set us all a madding I have told you already Friend reply'd the Curate that this is Licens'd for our Amusement in our idle Hours for the same Reason that Tennis Billiards Chess and other Recreations are tolerated that Men may find a Pastime for those hours they cannot find Imployment for Neither could the Government foresee this Inconvenience from such Books that you urge because they could not reasonably suppose any Rational Person would believe their Absurdities And were this a proper time I could say a great deal in Favour of such Writings and how with some Regulations they might be made both instructive and diverting but I design upon the first Opportunity to communicate my thoughts on this Head to some that may Redress it In the mean time honest Landlord you may put up your Books and believe them true if you please and much good may do you And I wish you may never have the same blind side with your Guest Don Quixote There 's no fea◠of that said the Inn-keeper for I never design to turn Knight-Errant because I find the Customs that supported that Noble Order are quite out of Doors About the middle of their Discourse enter'd Sancho whom their Conversation especially on the Curate's side made very uneasie he resolv'd however in spight of all their Contempt of Chivalry still to stick by his Master and if his intended Expedition fail'd of Success then to return to his Family and Plough As the Inn-keeper was carrying away the Books the Curate desir'd his leave to look over those Manuscripts which appeared in so fair a Character he reach'd them to him to the number of eight Sheets on one of which there was written in a large Hand The Novel of the curious Impertinent The Title said the Curate promises something perhaps it may be worth reading through your Reverence said the Inn-keeper may be worse employ'd for those Papers have receiv'd the Approbation of several ingenious Guests of mine that read them and who would have begg'd them of me but I would by no means part with them till I deliver them to the Owner of
out of the World The Curate cou'd not forbear smiling at the old womans simplicity and desir'd the Barber to reach him the Books one by one that he might peruse the Title pages for perhaps they might find some among 'em that might not deserve to be committed to the Flames Oh by no means cryed the Niece spare none of em they all helpt some how or other to crack my Unkle's Brains I fancy we had best throw 'em all out at the Window into the Yard and lay 'em together in a heap and then set 'em o'fire or else carry 'em into the Back yard and there make a pile of 'em and burn 'em and so the smoke will offend no body The Housekeeper join'd with her so eagerly bent they were both upon the destruction of those poor Innocents But the Curate wou'd not condescend to these irregular Proceedings and resolv'd first to read at least the Title Pages of every Book The first that Mr Nicholas put into his hands was Amadis de Gaule in four Volumes There seems to be some mystery in this Books being the first taken down cry'd the Curate as soon as he had lookt upon 't for I have heard 't is the first Book of Knight-Errantry that ever was printed in Spain and the model of all the rest and therefore I am of opinion that as the first Teacher and Author of so pernicious a Sect it ought to be condemn'd to the Fire without mercy I beg a reprieve for him cry'd the Barber for I have been told 't is the best Book that has been written in that kind and therefore as the only good thing of that sort it may deserve a Pardon Well then reply'd the Curate for this time let him have it Let 's see that other which lyes next to him These said the Barber are the exploits of Esplandian the lawfully begotten Son of Amadis de Gaule Verily said the Curate the Fathers goodness shall not excuse the want of it in the Son Here good Mistress House-keeper open that Window and throw it into the Yard and let it serve as a foundation to that Pile we are to set a blazing presently She was not slack in her obedience and thus poor Don Esplandian was sent headlong into the Yard there patiently to wait the time of his fiery Tryal To the next cry'd the Curate This said the Barber is Amadis of Greece and I 'm of opinion that all those that stand on this side are of the same Family Then let 'em all be sent packing into the Yard reply'd the Curate for rather than lose the pleasure of burning Queen Antiquinestra and the Shepherd Darinel with his Eclogues and the confounded unintelligible discourses of the Author I think I shou'd burn my own Father along with 'em if I met him in the disguise of a Knight-Errant I am of your mind cry'd the Barber And I too said the Niece Nay then quoth the old Female let 'em come and down with 'em all into the Yard They were deliver'd to her accordingly and many they were so that to save herself the labour of carrying 'em down stairs she fairly sent 'em flying out at Wjndow What overgrown piece of Lumber have we here cry'd the Curate Olivante de Laura return'd the Barber The same Author wrote The Garden of Flowers and to deal ingenuously with you I cannot well tell which of the two Books has most Truth in it or to speak more properly less Lyes But this I know for certain that he shall march into the Back-Yard like a nonsensical arrogant Blockhead as he is The next cry'd the Barber is Florismart of Hircania How my Lord Florismart is he here reply'd the Curate Nay then truly he shall e'en follow the rest to the Yard in spight of his wonderful Birth and incredible Adventures for his rough dull and insipid stile deserves no better usage Come toss him into the Yard and this other too good Mistress With all my heart quoth the Governess and strait she was as good as her word Here 's the noble Don Platir cry'd the Barber 'T is an old Book reply'd the Curate and I can think of nothing in him that deserves a grain of pity Away with him without any more words and down he went accordingly Another Book was open'd and it prov'd to be The Knight of the Cross The holy Title cry'd the Curate might in some measure attone for the badness of the Book but then as the saying is The Devil lurks behind the Cross To the Flames with him Then the Barber taking down another Book cry'd here 's the Mirrour of Knighthood Oh I have the honour to know him reply'd the Curate There you shall find the Lord Rinaldo of Montaban with his Friends and Companions all of 'em greater Thieves than Cacus together with the twelve Peers of France and that faithful Historian Turpin Truly I must needs say I am only for condemning 'em to perpetual Banishment at least because their story contains something of the famous Boyardo's Invention out of which the Christian Poet Ariosto also borrow'd his subject yet if I happen to meet with him in this bad Company and speaking in any other Language than his own I ll show him no manner of favour but if he talks in his own Native Tongue I ll treat him with all the respect imaginable I have him at home in Italian said the Barber but I cannot understand him 'T is not convenient you shou'd reply d the Curate and I cou'd willingly have excus'd the good Captain who translated it that trouble of attempting to make him speak Spanish for he has depriv'd him of a great deal of his primitive Graces a misfortune incident to all those who presume to translate Verses since their utmost wit and industry can never enable 'em to preserve the native Beauties and Genius that shine in the original For this reason I am for having not only this Book but likewise all those which we shall find here treating of French affairs thrown and deposited in some dry Vault till we have maturely determin'd what ought to be done with 'em give me leave to except one Bernardo del Carpio that must be somewhere here among the rest and another call'd Roncesvalles for whenever I meet with 'em I will certainly deliver 'em up into the hands of the Secular power The Barber gave his approbation to every particular well knowing that the Curate was so good a Christian and so great a lover of truth that he would not have uttered a falsity for all the world Then opening another Volume he found it to be Palmerin de Oliva and the next to that Palmerin of England Ha! Have I found you cry'd the Curate Here take that Oliva let him be torn to pieces then burnt and his ashes scatter'd in the Air. But let Palmerin of England be preserv'd as a singular Relique of Antiquity and let such a costly box be made for him as Alexander found among the Spoils
at a distance was an Eye-witness of the furious Combat At the same time the Biscayan let fall such a mighty blow on Don Quixote s shoulder over his Target that had not his Armour been Sword proof he wou'd have cleft him down to the very Waste The Knight feeling the weight of that unmeasurable Blow cry'd out aloud Oh Lady of my Soul Dulcinea flower of all Beauty vouchsafe to succour your Champion in this dangerous Combat undertaken to set forth your worth The breathing out of this short Prayer the griping fast of his Sword the covering of himself with his Shield and the Charging of his Enemy was but the work of a Moment for Don Quixote was resolv d to venture the Fortune of the Combat all upon one blow The Biscayan who read his Design in his dreadful Countenance resolv'd to face him with equal ravery and stand the terrible shock cover'd with the Cushion not being able to manage his Jaded Mule who defying the Spur and all other provocations wou'd move neither to the Right nor to the Left While Don Quixote thus with his Sword aloft was rushing upon the wary Biscayan with a full resolution to cleave him asunder all the Spectators stood trembling with Terrour and Amazement expecting the dreadful event of those prodigious blows which threaten'd the two desperate Combatants The Lady in the Coach with her Women were making a thousand Vows and Offerings to all the places of Devotion in Spain that Providence might deliver them and the Squire out of the great danger that threaten'd ' em But here we must deplore the abrupt end of this History which the Author leaves off just at the very point when the Fortune of the Battel is going to be decided pretending that he cou'd find nothing more recorded of Don Quixote s wondrous Atchievements than what he had already related However the second undertaker of this work cou'd not believe that so curious a Historâ— cou'd lye for ever inevitably buried in oblivion or that the Learned of La Mancha were so regardless of their Countries glory as not to preserve in their Archives or at least in their Closets some Memoirs as Monuments of that famous Knight and therefore he wou'd not give over enquiring after the Continuation of this pleasant History till at last he happily found it as the next Book will inform the Reader THE Life and Atchievements Of the Renowned Don Quixote de la Mancha PART I. BOOK II. CHAP. I. The event of the most stupendous Combat between the brave Biscayan and the valorous Don Quixote IN the first Book of this History we left the valiant Biscayan find the Renown'd Don Quixote with their Swords lifted up and ready to let fall on each other two furious and most terrible blows which had they fall'n directly and met with no opposition wou'd have cut and divided the two Combatans from Head to Heel and have split 'em like a Pomgranate But as I said before the story remain'd imperfect neither did the Author inform us where we might find the remaining Part of the Relation This vext me extremely and turn'd the pleasure which the perusal of the beginning had afforded me into disgust when I had reason to despair of ever seeing the rest Yet after all it seem'd to me no less impossible than unjust that so valiant a Knight shou'd have been destitute of some learned Person to record his incomparable Exploits a misfortune which never attended any of his Predecessors I mean the Knights Adventurers each of whom was always provided with one or two learned Men who were always at hand to write not only their wondrous Deeds but also to set down their trivial Thoughts were they never so hidden Therefore as I cou'd not imagin that so worthy a Knight shou'd be so unfortunate as to want that which has been so profusely lavish'd even on such a one as Platyr and others of that stamp I cou'd not induce my self to believe that so admirable a History was ever left unfinish'd And rather chose to think that Time the devourer of all things had either hid or consum'd it On the other side when I consider'd that several Modern Books were found in his Study as The Cure of Jealousy and The Nymphs and Shepherds of Henares I had reason to think that the History of our Knight cou'd be of no very antient date and that had it never been continu'd yet his Neighbours and Friends cou'd not have forgot the most remarkable passages of his Life Full of this imagination I resolv'd to make it my business to make a particular and exact inquiry into the Life and Miracles of our renown'd Spaniard Don Quixote that refulgent Glory and Mirror of the Knighthood of la Mancha and the first who in these deprav'd and miserable times devoted himself to the neglected profession of Knight-Errantry to redress Wrongs and Injuries to relieve Widows and defend the honour of Damsels such of 'em I mean who in former Ages rode up and down with Whip in hand mounted on their Palfreys with all their Virginity about 'em secure from all manner of danger and who unless they happen'd to be ravish'd by some boisterous Villain or huge Giant were sure at fourscore years of Age all which Time they never Slept one Night under a Roof to be decently laid in their graves as pure Virgins as their very Mothers For this reason and many others I say our gallant Don Quixote is worthy everlasting and universal praise nor ought I to be deny'd my due commendation for my indefatigable care and diligence in seeking and finding out the continuation of this delightful History tho after all I must confess that had not Providence Chance or Fortune as I will now inform you assisted me in the discovery the World had been depriv'd of two hours diversion and pleasure which 't is likely to afford to those who will read it with attention One day being in the Alcana at Toledo I saw a young Lad offer to sell a Parcel of old written Papers to a Groom now I being apt to take up the least piece of written or printed Papers that lies in my way tho 't were in the middle of the street cou'd not forbear laying my hands on one of the quires to see what it was and I found it to be written in Arabick which I cou'd not read This made me look about to see whether I cou'd find e're a Moorish Rabbi to read it for me and give me some account of it nor was it very difficult to meet with an Interpreter there for had I wanted one for a better and more ancient Tongue that place wou'd infallibly have supply'd me 'T was my good Fortune to find one immediately and having inform'd him of my desire he no sooner read some lines but he began to laugh I ask'd him what he laught at At a certain Remark here in the Margin of the Book said he I pray'd him to explain it whereupon
I know her full well 't is a strapping Wench y' Faith and pitches the Bar vvith e're a lusty young Fellow in our Parish By â—he Mass 't is a notable strong-built sizable sturâ—y manly Lass and one that will keep her Chin â—ut of the Mire I vvarrant her nay and hold the best Knight-Errant to 't that vvears a head if e'er he venture upon her Body o' me vvhat a Voice she has vvhen she sets up her Throat I saw her one day pearch'd up o' top of our Steeple to call to some Plough-jobbers that labour'd in a fallow Field and tho they vvere half a League off they heard her as plain as if they had been in the Church-yard under her The best of her is that she 's neither coy nor frumpish she 's a tractable Lass and fit for a Courtier for she 'll play with you like a Kitten and jibes and jokes at every body And now in good truth Sir Knight of the Woful Countenance you may e'en play as many Gambols as you please you may run mad you may hang your self for her sake there 's no body but will say you e'en took the wisest course tho the Devil himself should carry you away a pick-apack Now am I e'en wild to be gone tho 't were for nothing else but to see her for I have not seen her this many a day I fancy I shall hardly know her again for a Woman's Face strangely alters by being always in the Sun and drudging and moiling in the open Fields Well I must needs own I 've been mightily mistaken all along for I durst have sworn this Lady Dulcinea had been some great Princess with whom you were in love and such a one as deserv'd those rare Gifts you bestow'd on her as the Biscayan the Gally-slaves and many others that for ought I know you may have sent her before I was your Squire I can't chuse but laugh to think how my Lady Aldonza Lorenzo my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso I shou'd have said wou'd behave hâ—r self shou'd any of those Men which you have sent or may send to her chance to go and fall down o' their Marrow-bones before her For 't is ten to one they may happen to find her a combing of Flax. or threshing in the Barn and then how finely balk'd they 'll be as sure as I 'm alive they must needs think the Devil ow'd 'em a shame and she her self will but flout 'em and mayhap be somewhat netled at it I have often told thee Sancho said Don Quixote and I tell thee again that thou ought'st to bridle or immure thy sawcy prating Tongue for tho thou art but a dull-headed Dunce yet now and then thy ill-manner'd Jests bite too sharp But that I may at once make thee sensible of thy Folly and my Discretion I will tell thee a short Story A handsom brisk young rich Widow happen'd to fall in Love with a well-set lusty * * Motillon a Lay-Brother or Servant in a Convent or College Lay-Brother His Superior hearing of it took occasion to go to her and said to her by way of charitable Admonition I mightily wonder Madam how a Lady of your Merit so admir'd for Beauty and for Sense and withal so Rich cou'd make so ill a choice and doat on a mean silly despicable Fellow as I hear you do while we have in our House so many Masters of Art Batchelors and Doctors of Divinity among whom your Ladyship might pick and chuse But she soon answer'd the officious grave Gentleman Sir said she with a smile you are much mistaken and think altogether after the old out-of-fashion-way if you imagine I have made so ill a choice for tho you fancy the Man 's a Fool yet as to what I take him for he knows as much or rather more Philosophy than Aristotle So Sancho as to the use which I make of the Lady Dulcinea she is equal to the greatest Princesses in the World Prethee tell me Dost thou think the Poets who every one of 'em celebrate the Praises of some Lady or other had all real Mistresses Or that the Amarillis's the Phillis's the Sylvia's the Diana's the Galatea's and the like which you shall find in so many Poems Romances Songs and Ballads upon every Stage and even in every Barber's Shop were Creatures of Flesh and Blood No no never think it for I dare assure thee the greatest part of 'em were nothing but the meer Imaginations of the Poets for a ground-work to exercise their Wits upon and to give the World occasion to look on the Authors as Men of an amorous and gallant Disposition and so 't is sufficient for me to imagine that Aldonza Lorenzo is beautiful and chast as for her Birth and Parentage they concern me but little for there 's no need to make an enquiry about a Woman's Pedigree as there is of us Men when some Badg of Honour is bestowed on us And so she 's to me the greatest Princess in the World For thou ought'st to know Sancho if thou know'st it not already that there are but two things that chiefly excite us to love a Woman an attractive Beauty and an unspotted Fame Now those two Endowments are happily reconcil'd in Dulcinea for as for the one she has not her equal and few can vie with her in the other But to cut off all Objections at once I imagin that all I say of her is really so without the least addition or diminution I fancy her to be just such as I wou'd have her for Beauty and Quality Helen cannot stand in competition with her Lucretia cannot rival her and all the Heroins which Antiquity has to boast whether Greeks Romans or Barbarians are at once out-done by her incomparable Perfections Therefore let the World say what it will shou'd the ignorant and vulgar foolishly censure me I please my self with the assurances I have of the approbation of Men of the strictest Morals and the nicest Judgment Sir quoth Sancho I knock under You 've Reason o' your side in all you say and I own my self an Ass Nay I 'm an Ass to talk of an Ass for 't is ill talking of Halters i' th House of a Man that was hang'd But where 's the Letter all this while that I may be jogging With that Don Quixote pull'd out the table-Table-Book and retiring a little aside he very seriously began to write the Letter which he had no sooner finish'd but he call'd Sancho and order'd him to listen while he read it over to him that he might carry it as well in his Memory as in the Pocket-Book in case he shou'd have the ill luck to lose it by the way for he fear'd the worse of his malignant Fortune But Sir quoth Sancho tear the Book and give me two or three Copies and then I 'll be sure to deliver my Message safe enough I warrant ye For 't is a folly to think I can ever get it by heart alas
you and do you all manner of Service Then pray tell us how we may best do it I imagine it was no slight occasion that made you obscure your singular Beauty under so unworthy a Disguise and venture into this Desart where it was the greatest Chance in the World that e'er you met with us However we hope it is not impossible to find a Remedy for your Misfortunes since there are none which reason and time will not at last surmount And therefore Madam if you have not absolutely renounc'd all human Comfort I beseech you tell us the Cause of your Affliction and assure your self we do not ask this out of meer Curiosity but a real Desire to serve you and either to condole or asswage your Grief While the Curate endeavour'd thus to remove the trembling fair one's Apprehension she stood amaz'd staring without speaking a Word sometimes upon one sometimes upon another like one scarce well awake or like an ignorant Clown who happens to see some strange sight But at last the Curate having given her time to recollect her self and persisting in his earnest and civil Intreaties she fetch'd a deep Sigh and then disclosing her Lips broke silence in this manner Since this Desart has not been able to conceal me and my Hair has betray'd me 't wou'd be needless now for me to dissemble with you and since you desire to hear the Story of my Misfortunes I cannot in Civility deny you after all the obliging Offers you have been pleas'd to make me But yet Gentlemen I am much afraid what I 've to say will but make you sad and afford you little Satisfaction for you will find my disasters are not to be remedy'd There 's one thing that troubles me yet more it shocks my Nature to think I must be forc'd to reveal to you some Secrets which I had design'd to have bury'd in my Grave But yet considering the Garb and the Place you 've found me in I fancy 't will be better for me to tell you all than to give you occasion to doubt of my past Conduct and my present Designs by an affected Reservedness The disguis'd Lady having made this Answer with a modest Blush and extraordinary Discretion the Curate and his Company who now admir'd her the more for her Sense renew'd their kind Offers and pressing Sollicitations and then they modestly let her retire a Moment to some distance to put her self in decent Order Which done she return'd and being all seated on the Grass after she had us'd no small Violence to smother her Tears she thus began her Story I was born in a certain Town of Andaluzia from which a Duke takes his Title that makes him a Grandee of Spain This Duke has two Sons the Eldest Heir to his Estate and Virtues the Younger Heir to nothing I know of but the Deceit and Perfidiousness of the greatest Traitors that ever liv'd My Father who is one of his Vassals is but of low degree but so very rich that had Fortune equall'd his Birth to his Estate he cou'd have wanted nothing more and I perhaps had never been so miserable for I verily believe my not being of noble Blood is the chief occasion of my Ruin And yet my Parents are not so meanly born neither as to have any cause to be asham'd of their Original 'T is true they have been Farmers from Father to Son yet without any mixture or stain of infamous or scandalous Blood They are good old Christians as we call our true primitive Spaniards and the Antiquity of their Family together with their large Possessions and the Port they live in raises 'em much above their Profession and has by little and little almost universally gain'd 'em the name of Gentlemen setting 'em in a manner equal to many such in the World's Esteem As I am their only Child they ever lov'd me with all the tenderness of indulgent Parents and their great Affection made 'em esteem themselves happier in their Daughter than in the peaceable Enjoyment of their large Estate Now as it was my good Fortune to be possess'd of their Love they were pleas'd to intrust me with their Wealth The whole House was left to my Management and I took such Care not to abuse the Trust they repos'd in me that I never forfeited their good opinion of my Discretion The time I had to spare from the Care of the Family I commonly imploy'd in the usual Exercises of young Women sometimes making Lace or at my Needle and now and then reading some good Book or playing on the Spanish Harp having experienc'd that Musick was very proper to recreate the wearied Mind And this was the innocent Life I led I have not descended to these Particulars out of vain Ostentation but meerly that when I come to relate my Misfortunes you may observe I do not owe 'em to my ill Conduct While I thus liv'd the Life of a Nun unseen as I thought by any body but our own Family and never leaving the House but to go to Church which was commonly betimes in the Morning and always with my Mother and so close hid in a Veil that I cou'd scarce find my way notwithstanding all the Care that was taken to keep me from being seen 't was unhappily rumour'd abroad that I was handsome and to my eternal Disquiet Love intruded into my peaceful Retirement Don Ferdinand second Son to the Duke I 've mention'd had a sight of me Scarce had Cardenio heard Don Ferdinand nam'd but he chang'd Colour and betray'd such a Disorder of Body and Mind that the Curate and the Barber were afraid he wou'd have fallen into one of those frantick Fits that often us'd to take him But by good Fortune it did not come to that and he only set himself to look stedfastly on the Country Maid presently guessing who she was while she continu'd her Story without taking any notice of the alteration of his Countenance No sooner had he seen me said she but as he since told me he felt in his Breast that violent Passion of which he afterwards gave me so many Proofs But not to tire you with a needless Relation of every Particular I will pass over all the Means he us'd to inform me of his Love He purchas'd the good Will of all our Servants with private Gifts He made my Father a thousand kind Offers of Service Every Day seem'd a day of Rejoycing in our Neighbourhood every Evening usher'd in some Serenade and the continual Musick was even a Disturbance in the Night He got an infinite number of Love Letters transmitted to me I don't know by what means every one full of the tenderest Expressions Promises Vows and Protestations But all this assiduous Courtship was so far from inclining my Heart to a kind Return that it rather mov'd my Indignation insomuch that I look'd upon Don Ferdinand as my greatest Enemy and one wholly bent on my Ruin Not but that I was well enough
suspence they may at once surprize astonish please and divert so that Pleasure and Admiration may go Hand in Hand This cannot be perform'd by him that flies from Probability and Imitation which is the Perfection of what is written I have not yet seen any Book of Knight-Errantry that composes an entire Body of a Fable with all its Parts so that the middle is answerable to the beginning and the end to the beginning and middle but on the contrary they form them of so many Limbs that they rather seem to design a Chimera or Monster than a well proportion'd Figure Besides all this their Style is uncouth their Exploits incredible their Love immodest their Civility impertinent their Battels tedious their Language absurd their Voyages preposterous and in short they are altogether void of solid Ingenuity and therefore fit to be banish'd a Christian Commonwealth as useless and prejudicial The Curate was very attentive and believ'd him a Man of a sound Judgment and much in the right in all he had urg'd and therefore told him That he being of the same Opinion and an Enemy to Books of Knight-Errantry had burnt all that belong'd to Don Quixote which were a considerable number Then he recounted to him the scrutiny he had made among them what he had condemn'd to the Flames and what spar'd at which the Canon laugh'd heartily and said That notwithstanding all the harm he had spoken of those Books yet he found one good thing in them which was the Subject they furnish'd a Man of Understanding with to exercise his Parts because they allow a large Scope for the Pen to dilate without any check describing Shipwrecks Storms Skirmishes and Battles representing to us a brave Commander with all the Qualifications requisite in such a one shewing his Prudence in disappointing the Designs of the Enemy his Eloquence in persuading or dissuading his Souldiers his Judgment in Council his Celerity in Execution and his Valour in assailing or repulsing an Assault laying before us sometimes a dismal and melancholly Accident sometimes a delightful and unexpected Adventure in one place a beautiful modest discreet and reserv'd Lady in another a Christian-like brave and courteous Gentleman here a boisterous inhuman boasting Ruffian there an affable warlike and wise Prince lively expressing the Fidelity and Loyalty of Subjects Generosity and Bounty of Sovereigns He may no less at times make kown his Skill in Astrology Cosmography Musick and Policy and if he pleases he cannot want an Opportunity of appearing knowing even in Necromancy He may describe the Subtilty of Ulysses the Piety of Aeneas the Valour of Achilles the Misfortunes of Hector the Treachery of Sinon the Friendship of Euryalus the Liberality of Alexander the Valour of Caesar the Clemency and Sincerity of Trajan the Fidelity of Zopyrus the Prudence of Cato and in fine all those Actions that may make up a compleat Hero sometimes attributing them all to one Person and at other times dividing them among many This being so perform'd in a grateful Stile and with ingenious Invention approaching as much as possible to Truth will doubtless compose so beautiful and various a Work that when finish'd its Excellency and Perfection must attain the best end of Writing which is at once to delight and instruct as I have said before For the loose Method practis'd in these Books gives the Author liberty to play the Epick the Lyrick and the Dramatick Poet and to run through all the other parts of Poetry and Rhetorick for Epicks may be as well writ in Prose as in Verse CHAP. XXI Containing a Continuation of the Canon's Discourse upon Books of Knight-Errantry and other curious Matters YOU are much in the right Sir reply'd the Curate and therefore those who have hitherto publish'd Books of that Kind are the more to be blam'd for having had no Regard to good Sense Art or Rules by the Observation of which they might have made themselves as famous in Prose as the two Princes of the Greek and Latin Poetry are in Verse I must confess said the Canon I was once tempted to write a Book of Knight-Errantry my self observing all those Rules and to speak the Truth I writ above an hundred Pages which for a better Tryal whether they answered my Expectation I communicated to some Learned and Judicious Men fond of those Subjects as well as to some of those ignorant Persons who only are delighted with Extravagancies and they all gave me a satisfactory Approbation And yet I made no farther Progress as well in regard I look upon it to be a thing no way agreeable with my Profession as because I am sensible the Illiterate are much more numerous than the Learned and tho' it is better to be commended by the small Number of the Wise than scorn'd by the ignorant Multitude yet I will not expose my self to the Censure of the giddy Vulgar whose principal Business it is to read such Books But the greatest Motive I had to lay aside and think no more of finishing it was an Argument I form'd to my self deduc'd from the Plays now usually acted For thought I if Plays now in use as well those which are altogether of the Poet's Invention as those that are grounded upon History be all of them or at least the greatest part made up of most absurd Extravagancies and Incoherences and yet the Multitude sees them with Satisfaction esteems and approves them tho' they are so far from being good if the Poets who write and the Players who act them say they must be so contriv'd and no otherwise because they please the Generality of the Audience and if those which are regular and according to Art serve only to please half a score judicious Persons who understand them whilst the rest of the Company cannot reach the Contrivance and therefore the Poets and Actors say they had rather get their Bread by the greater Number than the Applause of the less Then may I conclude the same will be the Success of this Book so that when I have rack'd my Brain to observe the Rules I shall reap no other Advantage than to be laugh'd at for my Pains I have sometimes endeavour'd to convince the Actors that they are deceiv'd in their Opinion and that they will draw more Company and get better Credit by regular Plays than by those preposterous Representations now in use but they are so positive in their Humour that no Strength of Reason nor even Demonstration can divert them from their Conceit I remember I once was talking to one of those obstinate Fellows Do you not remember said I that within these few Years three Tragedies were acted in Spain written by a famous Poet of ours which were so excellent that they surpriz'd delighted and rais'd the Admiration of all that saw them as well the Ignorant as the Judicious and the Actors got more by those three than by thirty of the best that have been writ since Doubtless Sir said the Actor
wou'd comply but that he fear'd Don Quixote finding himself once at Liberty wou'd give them the Slip. I 'll be Bail for him said Sancho Body for Body Sir and I said the Canon upon his bare Parole of Honour That you shall have said the Knight besides you need no Security beyond the Power of Art for inchanted Bodies have no Free-will to dispose of themselves nor to move from one Place to another without Permission of the Necromancer in whose Charge they are The magical Charms might rivet 'em for three whole Centuries to one Place and fetch 'em back swift as the Wind should the inchanted have fled to some other Region Lastly as a most convincing Argument for his Release he urg'd That unless they would free him or get farther off he would be necessitated to offend their Sense of Smelling They guess'd his Meaning presently and gave him his Liberty and the first use he made of it was to stretch his benum'd Limbs three or four times then marching up to Rozinante he slapp'd him twice or thrice on the Buttocks I trust in Heaven thou Flower and Glory of Horse-flesh said he that we shall soon be restor'd to our former Circumstances I mounted on thy Back and Thou between my Legs while I exercise the Function for which Heaven has bestow'd me on the World Then walking a little aside with Sancho he return'd after a convenient Stay much lighter in Body and Mind and very full of his Squire 's Project The Canon gaz'd on him admiring his unparalell'd sort of Madness the rather because in all his Words and Answers he display'd an excellent Judgment and as we have already observ'd he only rav'd when the Discourse fell upon Knight-Errantry Which moving the Canon to Compassion when they had all seated themselves on the Grass expecting the coming up of his Sumpter-Mule Is it possible Sir said he addressing himself to Don Quixote that the unhappy reading of Books of Knight-Errantry should have such an Influence over you as to destroy your Reason making you believe you are now inchanted and many other such Extravagancies as remote from Truth as Truth it self is from Falshood How is it possible that human Sense shou'd conceive there ever were in the World such Multitudes of famous Knights-Errant so many Emperors of Trebizond so many Amadis's Felixmartes of Hircania Palfreys rambling Damsels Serpents Monsters Giants unheard of Adventures so many sorts of Inchantments so many Battles terrible Encounters pompous Habits and Tournaments amorous Princesses Earls Squires and jesting Dwarfs so many Love-Letters and Gallantries so many Amazonian Ladies and in short such an incredible Number of extravagant Passages as are contain'd in Books of Knight-Errantry As for my own Particular I confess that while I read 'em and do not reflect that they are nothing but Falshood and Folly they give me some Satisfaction but I no sooner remember what they are but I cast the best of them from me and wou'd deliver them up to the Flames if I had a Fire near me as well deserving that Fate like false Impostors that act contrary to the common Course of Nature and Inventors of new Sects and a new Manner of Living that seduce the ignorant Vulgar to give Credit to all their Absurdities Nay they presume to disturb the Brains of ingenious and well-bred Gentlemen as appears by the Effect they have wrought on your Judgment having reduc'd you to such a Condition that it is necessary to shut you up in a Cage and carry you on a Cart drawn by Oxen like some Lion or Tiger that is carry'd about from Town to Town to be shewn Have Pity on your self good Don Quixote retrieve your lost Judgment and make use of those Abilities Heav'n has bless'd you with applying your excellent Talent to some other Study which may be safer for your Conscience and more for your Honour But if led away by your natural Inclination you will read Books of Chivalry and great Exploits read in the Holy Scripture the Book of Judges where you will find wonderful Truths and glorious Actions not to be question'd Lusitania had a Viriatus Rome a Caesar Carthage an Hannibal Greece an Alexander Castile a Count Fernan Gonzalez Valentia a Cid Andaluzia a Gonzalo Fernandes Estremadura a Diego Garcia de Peredes Xerez a Garcia Perez de Vergas Toledo a Garcilasso and Sevil Don Manuel de Leon the reading of whose brave Actions diverts instructs pleases and surprizes the most judicious Readers This will be a Study worthy your Talent and by which you will become well read in History in love with Virtue knowing in Goodness improv'd in Manners brave without Rashness and cautious without Cowardice all which will redound to the Glory of God your own Advancement and the Honour of the Province of La Mancha whence I understand you derive your Original Don Quixote listen'd with great Attention to the Canon's Discourse and perceiving he had done after he had fix'd his Eyes on him for a considerable Space Sir said he all your Discourse I find tends to signify to me there never were any Knights-Errant that all the Books of Knight-Errantry are false fabulous useless and prejudicial to the Publick that I have done ill in reading err'd in believing and been much to blame in imitating them by taking upon me the most painful Profession of Chivalry And you deny that ever there were any Amadises of Gaul or Greece or any of those Knights mentioned in those Books Even as you have said Sir said the Canon You also were pleas'd to add continu'd Don Quixote that those Books had been very hurtful to me having depriv'd me of my Reason and reduc'd me to be carry'd in a Cage that therefore it wou'd be for my Advantage to take up in Time and apply my self to the reading of other Books where I might find more Truth more Pleasure and better Instruction You are in the Right said the Canon Then I am satisfy'd reply'd Don Quixote you your self are the Man that raves and is inchanted since you have thus boldly blasphem'd against a Truth so universally receiv'd that whosoever presumes to contradict it as you have done deserves the Punishment you wou'd inflict on the Books when in reading them they offend you For it were as easy to perswade the World that the Sun does not enlighten the Frost cool and the Earth bear us as that there never was an Amadis or any of the other adventurous Knights whose Actions are the Subject of so many Histories What Mortal can perswade another that there is no Truth in what is recorded of the Princess Floripes and Guy of Burgundy and of Fierabras at the Bridge of Martible in the Reign of Charlemaign which Passages I dare swear are as true as that now it is Day But if this be false you may as well say there was no Hector nor Achilles nor a Trojan War nor Twelve Peers of France nor a King Arthur of Britain who is now converted into
to him more transparent and the Sun seems to shine with a redoubl'd Brightness Next he discovers a most delightful Grove made up of beautiful shady Trees whose Verdure and Variety regale his Sight while his Ears are ravish'd with the wild and yet melodious Notes of an infinite Number of pretty painted Birds that hop and bill and sport themselves on the twining Boughs Here he spies a pleasing Rivulet which through its slowry Banks glides along over the brightest Sand and remurmurs over the whitest Pebbles that bedimple its smooth Surface while that through its Liquid Chrystal feasts the Eye with a Prospect of Gold and Orient Pearl There he perceives an artificial Fountain form'd of party-colour'd Jasper and polish'd Marble and hard by another contriv'd in Grotesque where the small Cockle-shells plac'd in orderly Confusion among the white and yellow Shells and mix'd with pieces of bright Chrystal and counterfeit Emeralds yield an agreeable Sight so that Art imitating Nature seems here to out do her At a distance on a sudden he casts his Eyes upon a strong Castle or stately Palace whose Walls are of massy Gold the Battlements of Diamonds and the Gates of Hyacinths in short its Structure is so wonderful that tho' all the Materials are no other than Diamonds Carbuncles Rubies Pearls Gold and Emeralds yet the Workmanship exceeds them in Value But having seen all this can any thing be so charming as to behold a numerous Train of beautiful Damsels come out of the Castle in such glorious and costly Apparel as would be endless for me to describe were I to relate these things as they are to be found in History Then to see the Beauty that seems the Chief of all the Damsels take the bold Knight who cast himself into the burning Lake by the Hand and without speaking one Word lead him into the sumptuous Palace where he is caus'd to strip as naked as he was born then put into a delicious Bath and perfum'd with precious Essences and odoriferous Oils after which he puts on a fine Shirt deliciously scented and this done another Damsel throws over his Shoulders a magnificent Robe worth at least a whole City if not more What a Sight is it when in the next place they lead him into another Room of State where he finds the Tables so orderly cover'd that he is surpriz'd and astonish'd There they pour over his Hands Water distill'd from Amber and odoriferous Flowers He is seated in an Ivory Chair and while all the Damsels that attend him observe a profound Silence such Variety of Dainties is serv'd up and all so incomparably dress'd that Appetite is at a stand doubting on which to satisfy its Desire at the same time his Ears are sweetly entertain'd with Variety of excellent Musick none perceiving who makes it or from whence it comes But above all what shall we say to see after the Dinner is ended and Tables taken away the Knight left leaning back in his Chair perhaps picking his Teeth as is usual and then another Damsel much more beautiful than any of the former comes unexpectedly into the Room and sitting down by the Knight begins to inform him what Castle that is and how she is inchanted in it with many other Particulars which surprize the Knight and astonish those that read his History I will enlarge no more upon this Matter since from what has been said it may sufficiently be inferr'd that the reading of any Passage in any History of Knight-Errantry must be very delightful and surprizing to the Reader And do you good Sir believe me and as I said to you before read these Books which you may find will banish all Melancholy if you are troubl'd with it and sweeten your Disposition if it be harsh This I can say for my self that since my being a Knight-Errant I am brave courteous bountiful well bred generous civil bold affable patient a Sufferer of Hardships Imprisonment and Inchantments And tho' I have so lately been shut up in a Cage like a Mad-man I expect through the Valour of my Arm Heaven favouring and Fortune not opposing my Designs to be a King within the compass of very few Days that so I may give Proofs of my innate Gratitude and Liberality For on my Word Sir a poor Man is incapable of exerting his Liberality tho' he be naturally never so well inclin'd Now that Gratitude which only consists in Wishes may be said to be dead as Faith without good Works is dead Therefore it is I wish Fortune would soon offer some Opportunity for me to become an Emperor that I might give Proofs of my Generosity by advancing my Friends but especially this poor Sancho Pança my Squire who is the harmlessest Fellow in the World and I would willingly give him an Earldom which I have long since promis'd him but that I fear he has not Judgment enough to govern his Estate Sancho hearing his Master's last Words Well well Sir said he never do you trouble your Head about that Matter all you have to do is to get me this same Earldom and let me alone to govern it I can do as my Betters have done before me I can put in a Deputy or a Servant that shall take all the Trouble off my Hands while I as a Great Man should loll at my Ease receive my Rents mind no Business live merrily and so let the World rub for Sancho As to the Management of your Revenue said the Canon a Deputy or Steward may do well Friend but the Lord himself is oblig'd to stir in the Administration of Justice to which there is not only a Sufficiency to govern requir'd but a judicious Head also to distinguish nicely conclude justly and chuse wisely I don't understand your Philosophy quoth Sancho all I said and I 'll say it again is That I wish I had as good an Earldom as I cou'd govern for I have as great a Soul as another Man and as great a Body as most Men And the first thing I wou'd do in my Government I wou'd have no Body to controul me I wou'd be absolute and who but I Now he that 's absolute can do what he likes he that can do what he likes can take his Pleasure he that can take his Pleasure can be content and he that can be content has no more to desire so the Matter 's over and come what will come I 'm satisfied If an Island welcome if no Island fare it well we shall see our selves in no worse a Condition as one blind Man said to another This is no ill Reasoning of yours Friend said the Canon tho' there is much more to be said upon this Topick of Earldoms than you imagine Undoubtedly said Don Quixote but I suit my Actions to the Example of Amadis de Gaul who made his Squire Gandalin Earl of the Firm-Island which is a fair Precedent for preferring Sancho to the same Dignity to which his Merit also lays an unquestionable Claim The
when they find it in Necessity then Kites and Crows and other ravenous Birds will all be grapling with the alluring Prey She that can withstand these dangerous Attacks does merit to be the Crown of her Husband However Sir take this along with you as the Opinion of a Wise Man whose Name I have forgot he said there was but one good Woman in the World and his Advice was that every Married Man should think his own Wife was she as being the only way to live contented For my own part I need not make the Application to my self for I am not Married nor have I as yet any Thoughts that way but if I had 't wou'd not be a Woman's Fortune but her Character should recommend her for publick Reputation is the Life of a Lady's Vertue and the outward Appearance of Modesty is in one Sense as good as the Reality since a private Sin is not so prejudicial in this World as a publick Indecency If you bring a Woman honest to your Bosom 't is easy keeping her so and perhaps you may improve her Vertues If you take an unchaste Partner to your Bed 't is hard mending her for the Extremes of Vice and Vertue are so great in a Woman and their Points so far asunder that 't is very improbable I won't say impossible they should ever be reconcil'd Sancho who had patiently Listen'd so far cou'd not forbear making some Remarks on his Master's Talk This Master of mine thought he to himself when I am talking some good Things full of Pith and Marrow as he may be now was wont to tell me that I should tie a Pulpit at my Back and stroll with it about the World to retail my Rarities but I might as well tell him that when once he begins to tack his Sentences together a single Pulpit is too little for him he had need have two for every Finger and go Peddling about the Market and cry who buys my Ware Old Nick take him for a Knight-Errant I think he 's one of the seven Wise Masters I thought he knew nothing but his Knight-Errantry but now I see the Devil a thing can ' scape him he has an Oar in every Man's Boat and a Finger in every Pye As he mutter'd somewhat loud his Master over-heard him What 's that thou' rt Grumbling there Sancho said he Nothing Sir nothing quoth Sancho I was only wishing I had heard your Worship Preach this Doctrine before I Married then mayhaps I might have said the old Proverb A sound Man needs no Physician What is Teresa so bad then ask'd Don Quixoie Not so very bad neither answer'd Sancho nor yet so good as I would have her Fie Sancho said Don Quixote thou do'st not do well to speak ill of thy Wife who is a good Mother to thy Children There 's no Love lost Sir quoth Sancho for she speaks as ill of me when the Fit takes her especially when she 's in one of her Jealous Moods for then Old Nick himself cou'd not bear her Maundring Don Quixote having tarried three Days with the young Couple and been entertain'd like a Prince he entreated the Student who fenced so well to help him to a Guide that might conduct him to Montesino's Cave resolving to go down into it and prove by his own Eye-sight the Wonders that were reported of it round the Country The Student recommended a Cousin-German of his for his Conductor who he said was an Ingenious Lad a pretty Scholar and a great Admirer of Books of Knight-Errantry and cou'd shew him the famous Lake of Ruydera too adding that he would be very good Company for the Knight as being one that wrote Books for the Booksellers in order to Dedicate 'em to Great Men. Accordingly the Learned Cousin came mounted on an Ass with Foal his Pack-saddle cover'd with an old Carpet or coarse Packing-Cloth Thereupon Sancho having got ready Rozinante and Dapple well stuffed his Wallet and the Student's Knap-sack to boot they all took their Leave steering the nearest Course to Montesino's Cave To pass the Time on the Road Don Quixote ask'd the Guide to what Course of Study he chiefly apply'd himself Sir answer'd the Scholar my Business is Writing and Copy-Money my chief Study I have publish'd some Things with the general Approbation of the World and much to my own Advantage Perhaps Sir you may have heard of one of my Books call'd The Treatise of Liveries and Devices in which I have oblig'd the Publick with no less than seven Hundred and three sorts of Liveries and Devices with their Colours Mottos and Ciphers so that any Courtier may furnish himself there upon any extraordinary Appearance with what may suit his Fancy or Circumstances without racking his own Invention to find what is agreeable to his Inclinanations I can furnish the Jealous the Forsaken the Disdain'd the Absent with what will fit 'em to a Hair Another Piece which I now have on the Anvil I design to call the Metamorphosis or The Spanish Ovid an Invention very new and extraordinary 'T is in short Ovid Burlesqu'd wherein I discover who the * * Several Rarities of Spain Giralda of Sevil was who the Angel of the Magdalen I tell ye what was the Pipe of Vecinguerra of â—â—â—eua what the Bulls of Guisando the Sierra Morena the Fountains of Laganitos and Lavapies at Maâ—rid not forgetting that of Piojo nor those of the Golden Pipe and the Abbey and I embellish the Fables with Allegories Metaphors and Translations that will delight and instruct Another Work which I soon design for the Press I call a Supplement to Polydore Virgil concerning the Inventions of Things A Piece I 'll assure you Sir that shews the great Pains and Learning of the Compiler and perhaps in a better Style than the old Author For Example he has forgot to tell us who was the First that was troublâ—d with a Catarrh in the World and who was the first that was Flux'd for the French Disease Now Sir I immediately resolve it and confirm my Assertion by the Testimony of at least four and twenty Authentick Writers By which Quotations alone you may guess Sir at what Pains I have been to instruct and benefit the Publick Sancho having hearkned with great Attention all this while Pray Sir quoth he to him so Heaven guide your Right-hand in all you Write let me ask you Who was the first Man that scratch'd his Head Scratch'd his Head Friend answer'd the Author Ay Sir scratch'd his Head quoth Sancho Sure you that know all things can tell me that or the Devil 's in 't What think you of old Father Adam Old Father Adam answer'd the Scholar Let me seâ— Father Adam had a Head he had Hair he had Hands and he cou'd scratch But Father Adam was the first Man Ergo Father Adam was the first Man that scratch'd his Head 'T is plain you 're in the right O ho am I so Sir quoth Sancho Another Question by your
returning it a while after in the little I have seen said he I have found three Things that deserve Reprehension First I find fault with some Words in this Preface In the second Place his Language is Arragonian for sometimes he writes without Articles and the third Thing I have observ'd which betrays most his Ignorance is he 's out of the Way in one of the principal Parts of the History For there he says that the Wife of my Squire Sancho Pansa is call'd Mary Gutierrez which is not true for her Name is Teresa Pansa and he that errs in so considerable a Passage may well be suspected to have committed many gross Errors through the whole History A pretty impudent Fellow is this same History writer cry'd Sancho Sure he knows much what belongs to our Concerns to call my Wife Teresa Pansa Mary Gutierrez Pray take the Book again an 't like your Worship and see whether he says any thing of me and whether he has not chang'd my Name too Sure by what you 've said honest Man said Don Jeronimo you shou'd be Sancho Pança Squire to Senior Don Quixote So I am quoth Sancho and I am proud of the Office Well said the Gentleman to tell you Truth the last Author does not treat you so civilly as you seem to deserve He represents you as a Glutton and a Fool without the least Grain of Wit or Humour and very different from the Sancho we have in the first Part of your Master's History Heaven forgive him quoth Sancho he might have left me where I was without offering to meddle with me Every Man's Nose won't make a Shooeing-Horn Let 's leave the World as it is St. Peter is very well at Rome Presently the two Gentlemen invited Don Quixote to sup with 'em in their Chamber for they knew there was nothing to be got in the Inn fit for his Entertainment Don Quixote who was always very complaisant cou'd not deny their Request and went with ' em So Sancho remain'd Lord and Master with his Flesh-Pot before him and plac'd himself at the Upper-End of the Table with the Inn-keeper for his Mess-Mate for he was no less a Lover of Cow-Heels than the Squire While Don Quixote was at Supper with the Gentlemen Don John ask'd him when he had heard of the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso Whether she were married Whether she had any Children or were with Child or no Or whether continuing still in her Maiden State and preserving her Honour and Reputation unstain'd she had a grateful Sense of the Love and Constancy of Signior Don Quixote Dulcinea is still a Virgin answer'd Don Quixote and my amorous Thoughts more fix'd than ever our Correspondence after the old Rate not frequent but her Beauty transform'd into the homely Appearance of a Female Rustick And with that he told the Gentlemen the whole Story of her being enchanted what had befallen him in the Cave of Montesinos and the Means that the sage Merlin had prescrib'd to free her from Enchantment which was Sancho's Penance of three Thousand three Hundred Lashes The Gentlemen were extremely pleas'd to hear ftom Don Quixote's own Mouth the strange Passages of his History equally wondring at the Nature of his Extravagancies and his elegant Manner of relating ' em One Minute they look'd upon him to be in his Senses and the next they thought he had lost 'em all so that they cou'd not resolve what Degree to assign him between Madness and sound Judgment By this Time Sancho having eat his Supper and left his Landlord mov'd to the Room where his Master was with the two Strangers and as he bolted in Hang me quoth he Gentlemen if he that made the Book your Worships have seen cou'd have a Mind that he and I shou'd ever take a loving Cup together I wish as he calls me Greedy-gut he does not set me out for a Drunkard too Nay said Don Jeronimo he does not use you better as to that Point though I cannot well remember his Expressions Only this I know they are scandalous and false as I perceive by the Physiognomy of sober Sancho here present Take my Word for 't Gentlemen quoth the Squire the Sancho and the Don Quixote in your Book I don't know who they be but they are not the same Men as those in Cid Hamet Benengeli's History for we two are they just such as Benengeli makes us my Master valiant discreet and in Love and I a plain merry-conceited Fellow but neither a Glutton nor a Drunkard I believe you said Don John and I could wish were such a Thing possible that all other Writers whatsoever were forbidden to record the Deeds of the great Don Quixote except Cid Hamet his first Author as Alexander did forbid all other Painters to draw his Picture except Apelles Let any one draw mine if he pleases said Don Quixote but let him not abuse the Original for when Patience is loaded with Injuries many times it sinks under its Burden No Injury reply'd Don John can be offer'd to Signior Don Quixote but what he is able to revenge or at least ward off with the Shield of his Patience which in my Opinion is great and strong In such Discourse they spent a good Part of the Night and though Don John endeavour'd to perswade Don Quixote to read more of the Book to see how the Author had handl'd his Subject he cou'd by no means prevail with him the Knight giving him to understand he had enough of it and as much as if he had read it throughout concluding it to be all of a Piece and Nonsense all over and that he would not encourage the Scribbler's Vanity so far as to let him think he had read it shou'd it ever come to his Ears that the Book had fallen into his Hands well knowing we ought to avoid defiling our Imagination and with the nicest Care our Eyes with vile and obscene Matters They ask'd him which Way he was travelling he told 'em he was going for Saragosa to make one at the Tournaments held in that City once a Year for the Prize of Armour Don John acquainted him that the pretended second Part of his History gave an Account how Don Quixote whoever he was had been at Saragosa at a publick running at the Ring the Description of which was wretched and defective in the Contrivance mean and low in the Style and Expression and miserably poor in Devices and in other Show but all made up of foolish idle Stuff For that Reason said Don Quixote I will not set a Foot in Saragosa and so the World shall see what a notorious Lye this new Historian is guilty of and all Mankind shall perceive I am not the Don Quixote he speaks of You will do very well said Don Jeronimo besides there is another Tournament at Barcelona where you may signalize your Valour I design to do so reply'd Don Quixote And so Gentlemen give me Leave to bid you good Night and
Custom he came to the Legacies as follows Item I give and bequeath to Sancha Pança whom in my Madness I made my Squire whatever Money he has or may have of mine in his Hands and whereas there are Reckonings and Accounts to be adjusted between us for what he has received and disburs'd my Will and Pleasure is That whatever may remain due to me which can be but small be enjoy'd by him as my free Gift without any Let or Molestation and much Good may it do him And as when I was mad he was thro' my Means made Governour of an Island I wou'd now in my right Senses give him the Government of a Kingdom were it in my Power in Consideration of his Integrity and Faithfulness And now my Friend said he turning to Sancho pardon me that I have brought upon thee as well as my self the Scandal of Madness by drawing thee into my own Errors and perswading thee there have been and there are still Knights-Errant in the World Woe is me my dear Master's Worship cry'd Sancho all in Tears don't die this Bout but e'en take my Counsel and live on a many Years 't is the maddest Trick a Man can ever play in his Life to let his Breath sneak out of his Body without any more ado and without so much as a Rap o'er the Pate or a Kick of the Guts to go out like the Snuff of a Farthing-Candle and die meerly of the Mulligrubs or the Sullens For Shame Sir don't give way to Sluggishness but get out of your doleful Dumps and rise Is this a Time to lie honing and groaning a Bed when we shou'd be abroad in the Fields in our Shepherd's Coats as we had resolv'd Ten to one but behind some Bush or under some Hedge we may find the Lady Madam Dulcinea stripp'd of her inchanted Rags and as fine as a Queen Mayhaps you take it to Heart that you were unhors'd and a little Crupper-scratch'd t'other Day but if that be all lay the Blame upon me and say 't was my Fault in not girting Rozinante tight enough You know too there 's nothing more common in your Errantry-Books than for the Knights to be every Foot justl'd out of the Saddle There 's nothing but Ups and Downs in this World and he that 's cast down to Day may be cock-a-hoop to Morrow Even so said Sampson honest Sancho has the right Notion of the Matter Soft and fair Gentlemen reply'd Don Quixote ne'er look for Birds of this Year in the Nests of the last I was mad but I am now in my Senses I was once Don Quixote de la Mancha but I am once more the good Alonso Quixano and I hope the Sincerity of my Words and my Repentance may restore me the same Esteem you have had for me before and so Mr. Scrivener pray go on Item I constitute and appoint Antonia Quixano my Niece here present sole Heiress of all my Estate both Real and Personal after all my just Debts and Legacies bequeath'd by these Presents shall have been pay'd satisfy'd and deducted out of the best of my Goods and Chattels and the first of that Kind to be discharged shall be the Salary due to my House-keeper together with twenty Ducats over and above her Wages which said Sum I leave and bequeath her to buy her Mourning Item I appoint Mr. Curate and Mr. Sampson Carrasco the Batchelor here present to be the Executors of this my last Will and Testament Item It is my Will that if my Niece Antonia Quixano be inclinable to marry it be with none but a Person who upon strict Inquiry shall be found never to have read a Book of Knight-Errantry in his Life and in case it appears that he has been conversant in such Books and that she persists in her Resolution to marry him she is then to forfeit all Right and Title to my Inheritance which in such Case my Executors are hereby impower'd to dispose to pious Uses as they shall think most convenient Item I entreat the said Executors that if at any time they happen to meet with the Author of a Book now extant entitl'd The Second Part of the Atchievements of Don Quixote de la Mancha they wou'd from me most heartily beg his Pardon for my being undesignedly the Occasion of his writing such a Parcel of Impertinences as is contain'd in that Book for it is the greatest Burden to my departing Soul that ever I was the Cause of his making such a Thing publick Having finish'd the Will he fell into a swooning Fit and extended his Body to the full Length in the Bed All the Company were troubl'd and alarm'd and ran to his Assistance However he came to himself at last but relaps'd into the like Fits almost every Hour for the Space of three Days that he liv'd after he had made his Will The whole Family was in Grief and Confusion and yet after all the Niece continu'd to eat the House-keeper drank and wash'd down Sorrow and Sancho Pança made much of himself For there is a strange Charm in the Thoughts of a good Legacy or the Hopes of an Estate which wondrously removes or at least alleviates the Sorrow that Men shouâ—d otherwise feel for the Death of Friends At last Don Quixote's Dying-Day did come after he had made all those Preparations for Death which good Christians ought to do and by many fresh and weighty Arguments shew'd his Abhorrence of Books of Knight-Errantry The Scrivener who was by protested he had never read in any Books of that kind of any Knight-Errant who ever dy'd in his Bed so quietly and like a good Christian as Don Quixote did In short amidst the Tears and Lamentations of his Friends he gave up the Ghost or to speak more plainly died which when the Curate perceiv'd he desir'd the Scrivener or Notary to give him a Certificate how Alonso Quixano commonly call'd The Good and sometimes known bp the Name of Don Quixote de la Mancha was departed out of this Life into another and died a natural Death This lest any other Author but Cid Hamet Benengeli shou'd take Occasion to raise him from the Dead and presume to write fabulous Histories of his pretended Adventures Thus dy'd that ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote de la Mancha whose Native Place Cid Hamet has not thought fit directly to mention that all the Towns and Villages in La Mancha should contend for the Honour of giving him Birth as the Seven Cities of Greece did for Homer We shall omit Sancho's Lamentations and those of the Niece and the House-keeper as also several Epitaphs that were made for his Tomb and will only give you this which the Batchelor Carrasco caus'd to be put over it Don Quixote's Epitaph THE Body of a Knight lies here So brave that to his latest Breath Immortal Glory was his Care And makes him triumph over Death His Looks spread Terrour every Hour He strove Oppression to controul Nor cou'd all Hell's United Pow'r Subdue or daunt his Mighty Soul Nor has his Death the World deceiv'd Less than his wondrous Life surpriz'd For if he like a Madman liv'd At least he like a Wise One dy'd Here the Sagsacious Cid Hamet addressing himself to his Pen O thou my slender Pen says he thou of whose Knib whether well or ill cut I dare not speak my Thoughts Suspended by this Wire remain upon this Rack where I deposite thee There may'st thou claim a Being many Ages unless presumptuous Scribblers take thee down to profane thee But e'er they lay their heavy Hands on thee bid 'em beware and as well as thou can'st in their own Stile tell 'em Avaunt ye Scoundrels all and some I 'm kept for no such thing Defile not me but hang your selves And so God save the King For me alone was the great Quixote born and I alone for him Deeds were his Task and to record 'em mine We two like Tallies for each other struck are nothing when apart In vain the spurlous Scribe of Tordesellas dar'd with his blunt and bungling Ostridge-Quill invade the Deeds of my most Valorous Knight The great Attempt derides his feeble Skill while he betrays a Sense benumm'd and frozen And thou Reader if ever thou can'st find him out in his Obscurity I beseech thee advise him likewise to let the wearied mouldring Bones of Don Quixote rest quiet in the Earth that covers ' em Let him not expose 'em in Old Castile against the Sanctions of Death impiously raking him out of the Grave where he really lies stretch'd out beyond a Possibility of taking a third Ramble thro' the World The two Sallies that he has made already which are the Subject of these two Volumes and have met with such universal Applause in this and other Kingdoms are sufficient to ridicule the pretended Adventures of other Knights-Errant Thus advising him for the best thou shalt discharge the Duty of a Christian and do good to him that wishes thee Evil. As for me I must esteem my self happy and gain my End in rendring those fabulous Nonsensical Stories of Knight-Errantry the Object of the Publick Aversion They are already going down and I do not doubt but they will drop and fall altogether in good Earnest never to rise again Adieu FINIS
in a trifle I shou'd make a Complement to those Honorable Gentlemen whose Liberality has prov'd so substantial an Incouragement to me in this Vndertaking but I must change my note to an Apology for the smallness of the Edition and the best I can make is humbly to beg their Pardon I design'd it a handsom Folio with a fair Letter but there was a necessity of publishing this first Part of the Work immediately being inform'd that while it was supervising with all leisurely Care the Booksellers concerned in the old Translation had got it alter'd with all speed and resolv'd at any Rate to have it come out first I hope my generous Patrons will forgive a Delay which was the effect of my good Fortune I mean the Employment for which with all Thankfulness I am proud to own my self oblig'd to the great Mr. Mountague's Recommendation and the Favor of those noble Patriots Sir Robert Cotton and Sir Thomas Frankland This made the Bookseller think of casting this into four little portable Duodecimos and indeed there is this Reason for 't that the Book being more for Diversion than Study is therefore more proper for the Pocket than the Closet I have nothing more to add but the Names of those noble Encouragers of this Translation which I presume to insert in the Order they subscrib'd for my particular Benefit The Right Honorable Charles Mountague Esq The Honorable Colonel Codrington the Right Honorable the Earl of Dorset the Right Honorable Henry Lord Colerane the Honorable Hugh Hare Esq the Honorable Edward Coke Esq Richard Norton Esq Anthony Henly Esq Mr. John Freeman William Bridgman Esq his Grace the Duke of Devonshire the Right Honorable the Lady Vicountess of Weymouth the Honorable Henry Thynne Esq Sir Robert Worsely Bar. the Honorable H. Heveningham and J. Manners Esquires Sir John Smith Bar. the Right Hon. the Earl of Darwentwater the Hon. Charles Boyle Esq Sir Rich. Blackmore Charles Caesar Esq and Sir Godfrey Kneller THE Author's PREFACE TO THE READER YOU may depend on my bare Word Reader without any farther security that I cou'd wish this Offspring of my Brain were as ingenious sprightly and accomplish'd as your self cou'd desire but the mischief on 't is Nature will have its course Every Production must resemble its Author and my barren and unpolish'd Understanding can produce nothing but what is very dull very impertinent and extravagant beyond imagination You may suppose it the Child of Disturbance ingendred in some dismal Prison in the very seat of Wretchedness and amidst all manner of Inconveniences Rest and Ease a convenient Place pleasant Fields and Groves murmuring Springs and a sweet Repose of Mind are helps that raise the Fancy and impregnat even the most barren Muses with Conceptions that fill the World with Admiration and Delight Some Parents are so blinded by a Fatherl Fondness that they mistake the very Imperfections of their Children for so many Beauties and the Folly and Impertinence of the brave Boy must pass upon their Friends and Acquaintance for Wit and Sense But I who am only a Step-Father disavow the Authority of this modern and prevalent Custom nor will I earnestly beseech you with Tears in my Eyes which is many a poor Author's Case dear Reader to pardon or dissemble my Child's Faults For what Favour can I expect from you who are neither his Friend nor Relation You have a Soul of your own and the privilege of Free-will whoever you be as well as the proudest He that struts in a gaudy Outside You are a King by your own Fire-side as much as any Monarch in his Throne You have Liberty and Property which set you above Favor or Affection and may therefore freely like or dislike this History according to your humor I had a great mind to have expos'd it as naked as it was born without the addition of a Preface or the numberless Trumpery of commendatory Sonnets Epigrams and other Poems that usually usher in the Conceptions of Authors For I dare boldly say that tho I bestow'd some time in writing the Book yet it cost me not half so much labour as this very Preface I very often took up my Pen and as often laid it down and cou'd not for my life think of any thing to the purpose Sitting once in a very studious Posture with my Paper before me my Pen in my Ear my Elbow on the Table and my Cheek on my Hand considering how I should begin a certain Friend of mine an ingenious Gentleman and of a merry Disposition came in and surpriz'd me He ask'd me what I was so very intent and thoughtful upon I was so free with him as not to mince the matter but told him plainly that I had been puzling my Brain for a Preface to Don Quixote and that I had made my self so uneasy about it that I was now resolv'd to trouble my head no further either with Preface or Book but rather not to let the Atchievements of that noble Knight be publish'd For continu'd I why should I expose my self to the Lash of the old Legislator the Vulgar They will say that I have spent my youthful Days very finely to have nothing to recommend my Gray Hairs to the World but a dry insipid Legend not worth a rush wanting good Language as well as Invention barren of Conceits or pointed Wit and without either Quotations on the Margin or Annotations at the end which other Books tho never so fabulous and profane have to set 'em off Other Authors can pass upon the Public by stuffing their Books from Aristotle Plato and the whole Company of antient Philosophers thus amusing their Readers into a great opinion of their prodigious Reading Plutarch and Cicero are slur'd on the Publick for as Orthodox Doctors as St. Thomas or any of the Fathers And then the Method of these Moderns is so wounderfully agreeable and full of variety that they cannot fail to please In one Line they will describe you a whining amorous Coxcomb and the next shall be some dry Scrap of a Homily with such ingenious Turns as cannot chuse but ravish the Reader Now I want all these Embelishments and Graces I have neither marginal Notes nor critical Remarks I do not so much as know what Authors I follow and consequently can have no formal Index as 't is the fashion now methodically strung on the Letters of the Alphabet beginning with Aristotle and ending with Xenophon or Zoâ—lus or Zeuxis which two are commonly cram'd into the same Piece tho one of them was a famous Painter and t'other a saucy Critic I shall want also the pompous Preliminaries of commendatory Verses sent to me by the Right Honourable my Lord such a one by the Honourable the Lady such a one or the most ingenious Mr. such a one tho I know that I might have them at an easy rate from two or three Brothers of the Quill of my acquaintance and better I 'm sure than the best Quality
indeed to be somewhat too long in his Eclogues but can we ever have too much of a good Thing let him be preserv'd among the best What 's the next Book The Galatea of Miguel de Cervantes reply'd the Barber That Cervantes has been my intimate acquaintance these many years cry'd the Curate and I know he has been more conversant with misfortunes than with Poetry His Book indeed has I don 't know what that looks like a good design he aims at something but concludes nothing Therefore we must stay for the Second Part which he has promis'd us perhaps he may make us amends and obtain a full Pardon which is now deny'd him for the present till that time keep him close Prisoner at your house I will quoth the Barber but see I have here three more for you The Auricana of Don Alonso de Ercilla The Austriada of Juan Ruffo a Magistrate of Cordona and the Monserrato of Christopher de Virves a Valentian Poet. These cry'd the Curate are the best Hereies we have in Spanish and may vye with the most celebrated of Italy Reserve em as the most valuable performances which Spain has to boast of in Poetry At last the Curate grew so tir'd with prying into so many Volumes that he order'd all the rest to be burnt at a venture But the Barber shew'd him one which he had open'd by chance ere the dreadful Sentence was past Truly said the Curate who saw by the Title 't was The Tears of Angelica I shou'd have wept my self had I caus'd such a Book to share the Condemnation of the rest for the Author was not only one of the best Poets in Spain but in the whole World and translated some of Ovid's Fables with extraordinary success CHAP. VII Don Quixote's second Sally in quest of Adventures WHile they were thus employ'd Don Quixote in a raving fit began to talk aloud to himself Here here valorous Knights cry'd he now 's the time that you must exert the strength of your mighty Arms for lo the Courtiers bear away the honour of the Tournament This amazing Outcry call'd away the Inquisitors from any further Examination of the Library and therefore the House-keeper and the Neice being lest to their own discretion 't is thought The Carolea and Leo of Spain with the Deeds of the Emperour written by Don Lewis D' Avila which to be sure were part of the Collection were committed to the flames unseen and unheard without any legal Tryal A Fate which they perhaps might have escap'd had the Curate been there to have weigh'd what might have been urg'd in their defence When they came into Don Quixote's Chamber they found him risen out of his Bed as mad as ever he was tearing his throat and making a heavy bustle laying about him with his Sword back-stroke and fore-stroke as broad awake as if he had never slept They ran in upon him caught him in their arms and carried him to bed again by main force where after he was somewhat quiet and settled turning himself to the Curate Certainly cry'd he my Lord Archbishop Turpin 't is a great dishonour to us who are call'd the twelve Peers to suffer the Knights of the Court to bear away the honour of the Tournament without any further opposition after we the Knights Adventurers had carried it for three days before Be pacify'd my good Friend reply'd the Curate Fortune may have yet better success in reserve for you and they who lose to day may win to morrow at present think on your health for doubtless you must needs be now extremely tir'd if not very much wounded Wounded reply'd Don Quixote No but as for being bruis'd I will not deny it for that base-born Knight Don Orlando has batter'd all my Limbs with the Trunk of an Oak out of meer Envy because he sees that I alone dare rival his Exploits But may I no more be call'd Rinaldo of Montalban if in spight of all his Enchantments I do not make him severely pay for this as soon as I can leave my Bed and therefore let my Dinner be brought in for 't is what I want most at this juncture and then let me alone to revenge this abuse Accordingly they brought him some Victuals which when he had eaten he fell asleep again and they left him all of 'em strangely amaz'd at his uncommon madness That Night the House-keeper burnt all the Books not only those in the Yard but all those that were in the House and several suffer'd in the general calamity that deserv'd to have been treasur'd up in everlasting Archives had not their fate and the remissness of the Inquisitor prevented it And thus they made good the Proverb That the good often fare the worse for the bad One of the Expedients of which the Curate and the Barber bethought themselves in order to their friend's recovery was to stop up the door of the Room where his Books lay that he might not find it nor miss them when he rose for they hop'd the effect wou'd cease when they had taken away the cause and they order'd that if he enquirâ—d about it they should tell him that a certain Enchanter had carry'd away Study Books and all Two days after Don Quixote being got up the first thing he did was to go visit his darling Books and as he cou'd not find the Study in the place where he had left it he went up and down and lookt for it in every Room Sometimes he came to the place where the door us'd to stand and then stood feeling and groping about a good while then cast his Eyes and star'd on every side without speaking a word At last after a long deliberation he thought fit to ask his House-keeper which was the way to his Study What Study answer'd the Woman according to her instructions or rather what nothing is it you look for Alas here 's neither Study nor Books in the House now for the Devil is run away with 'em all No 't was not the Devil said the Niece but a Conjurer or an Enchanter as they call 'em who since you went came hither one night mounted on a Dragon o'top of a Cloud and then alighting went into your Study where what he did he and the Devil best can tell for he went out a while after and flew out at the Roof of the House leaving it all in a smoak and when we went to see what he had done we cou'd neither find the Books nor so much as the very Study Only the House-keeper and I very well remember that as the wicked old man was going away he cry'd out aloud that out of a private grudge which he bore in his mind to the Owner of those Books he had done the House a mischief as we shou'd soon perceive And then I think he call'd himself the Sage Muniaton Not Muniaton but Freston you shou'd have said cry'd Don Quixote Truly quoth the Niece I can't tell whether 't was Freston
still laughing he did it in these words This Dulcinea del Toboso so often mention'd in this History is said to have had the best hand at Salting of Pork of any Woman in all La Mancha I was surpriz'd when I heard him name Dulcinea del Toboso and presently imagin'd that those old Papers contain'd the History of Don Quixote This made me press him to read the Title of the Book which he did turning it thus extempore out of Arabick The History of Don Quixote de la Mancha written by Cid Hamet Benengely an Arabian Historiographer I was so overjoy'd when I heard the Title that I had much ado to conceal it and presently taking the Bargain out of the Grooms hands I agreed with the young man for the whole and bought that for half a Real which he might have sold me for twenty times as much had he but guess'd at the eagerness of his Chapman I immediately withdrew with my Purchase to the Cloyster of the great Church taking the Moor with me and desir'd him to translate me all those papers that treated of Don Quixote without adding or omitting the least word offering him any reasonable satisfaction He ask'd me but two * * An Arroba is about 32 l. weight Arrobes of Raisins and two Bushels of Wheat and promis'd me to do it faithfully with all expedition In short for the quicker dispatch and the greater security being unwilling to let such a lucky prize go out of my hands I took the Moor to my own house where in less than six weeks he finish'd the whole Translation Don Quixote's Fight with the Biscayan was exactly drawn on one of the leaves of the first quire in the same posture as we left 'em with their Swords lifted up over their heads the one guarding himself with his Shield the other with his Cushion The Biscayan's Mule was pictur'd so to the life that with half an eye you might have known it to be a hir'd Mule Under the Biscayan was written Don Sancho de Aspetia and under Rozinante Don Quixote Rozinante was so admirably delineated so slim so stiff so lank so lean so jaded with so sharp a Ridge-bone and altogether so like one wasted with an incurable Consumption that any one must have own'd at first sight that no Horse ever better deserv'd that name Not far off stood Sancho ††Paunch Panca holding his Ass by the Halter and at whose feet there was a crowl in which was written Sancho * * Haunches or rather Thigh-bones Cancas And if we may judge of him by his Picture he was thick and short paunch-belly'd and long-haunch'd so that in all likelihood for this reason he is sometimes call'd Panca and sometimes Cancas in the History There were some other niceties to be seen in that Piece but hardly worth observation as not giving any light into this true History otherwise they had not past unmention'd For none can be amiss so they be authentic I must only acquaint the Reader that if any objection is to be made as to the veracity of this 't is only that the Author is an Arabian and those of that Country are not a little addicted to Lying But yet if we consider that they are our Enemies we shou'd sooner imagine that the Author has rather supprest the Truth than added to the real worth of our Knight and I am the more inclinable to think so because 't is plain that where he ought to have inlarg'd upon his Praises he maliciously chuses to be silent A proceeding unworthy of an Historian who ought to be exact sincere and impartial free from passion and not to be byass'd either by interest fear resentment or affection to deviate from Truth which is the Mother of History the Preserver and Eternizer of great Actions the profest Enemy of Oblivion the Witness of things past and the Director of future Times As for this History I know 't will afford you as great variety as you cou'd wish in the most entertaining and if in any point it falls short of your expectation I am of opinion 't is more the fault of the unworthy Author than the subject and so let us come to the Second Book which according to our Translation began in this manner Such were the bold and formidable looks of the two enrag'd Combatants that with uplifted Arms and with destructive Steel they seem'd to threaten Heaven Earth and the Infernal Mansions while the spectators seem'd wholly lost in fear and astonishment The Cholerick Biscayan discharg'd the first blow and that with such a prodigious force and so desperate a fury that had not his Sword turn'd in his hand that single stroke had put an end to the dreadful Combat and all our Knights Adventures But Fate that reserv'd him for greater things so order'd it that his Enemy's Sword turn'd in such a manner that tho it struck him on the left Shoulder it did him no other hurt than to disarm that side of his head carrying away with it a great part of his Helmet and one half of his Ear which like a dreadful Ruin fell together to the ground Assist me ye Powers But 't is in vain The Fury which then engrost the Breast of our Hero of La Mahcha is not to be exprest words wou'd but wrong it for what colour of Speech can be lively enough to give but a slight Sketch or faint Image of his unutterable Rage Exerting all his Valour he rais'd himself upon his Stirrups and seem'd even greater than himself and at the same instant griping his Sword fast with both hands he discharg'd such a tremendous blow full upon the Biscayans Cushion and his Head that in spight of so good a defence as if a whole Mountain had faln upon him the Blood gusht out at his Mouth Nose and Ears all at once and he totter'd so in his Saddle that he had faln to the ground immediately had he not caught hold of the neck of his Mule But the dull Beast itself being rous'd out of its stupidity with that terrible blow began to run about the Fields and the Biscayan having lost his Stirrups and his hold with two or three winces the Mule shook him off and threw him on the ground Don Quixote beheld the disaster of his Foe with the greatest Tranquility and Unconcern imaginable and seeing him down slipt nimbly from his Saddle and running to him set the point of his Sword to his Throat and bid him yield or he wou'd cut off his Head The Biscayan was so stunn'd that he cou'd make him no reply so that Don Quixote had certainly made good his threats had not the Ladies in the Coach who with great uneasiness and fear had beheld these sad transactions hasten'd to beseech Don Quixote very earnestly to spare his life Truly Beautiful Ladies said the Victorious Knight with a great deal of loftiness and gravity I am willing to grant your Request but upon condition that this same
a Fury rave And scourge and sting on ev'ry Part And into Madness lash his Slave Distant tho present in Idea I mourn my absent Dulcinea Del Toboso This ridiculous Addition of del Toboso made those who had found those Verses afterwards laugh heartily and they imagin'd that when Don Quixote made them he was afraid that those who should happen to read 'em would not understand on whom they were made shou'd he omit to mention the Place of his Mistress's Birth and Residence and this was indeed the true Reason as he himself afterwards confess'd With this Employment did our disconsolate Knight beguile some tedious hours Sometimes also he express'd his Sorrows in Prose sigh'd to the Winds and call'd upon the Sylvan Gods the Fauns the Naiades the Nymphs of adjoining Groves and the mournful Eccho imploring their Attention and Condolement with repeated Supplications at other Times he employ'd himself in gathering Herbs for the support of languishing Nature which decay'd so fast what with this slender Diet and what with his studied anxiety and intenseness of Thinking that had Sancho stay'd but three Weeks from him whereas by good Fortune he staid but three Days the Knight of the woful Countenance wou'd have been reduc'd to that meager and dismal Condition that his very Mother wou'd never have known the Child of her own Womb. But now 't is necessary we shou'd leave him awhile to his Sighs his Sobs and his amorous Expostulations and see how Sancho Panca behav'd himself in his Embassy He made all the haste he cou'd to get out of the Mountain and then taking the direct Road to Toboso the next Day he arriv'd near the Inn where he had been toss'd in a Blanket Scarce had he descry'd the fatal Walls but a sudden shivering seiz'd his Bones and he fancied himself to be again dancing in the Air so that he had a good mind to have rode further before he baited tho 't were Dinner time and his Mouth water'd strangely at the thoughts of a hot bit of Meat the rather as he had liv'd altogether upon cold Victuals for a long while This greedy longing drew him near the Inn in spight of his aversion to the Place but yet when he came to the Gate he had not the Courage to go in but stop'd there not knowing whether he had best enter or no. While he sate musing two men happen'd to come out and believing they knew him look cry'd one to the other is not that Sancho Panca whom the House-keeper told us her Master had inveigled to go along with him The same answer'd the other and more than that he rides on Don Quixote's Horse Now these two happen'd to be the Curate and the Barber who had brought his Books to a Trial and pass'd Sentence on 'em Therefore they had no sooner said this but they call'd to Sancho and ask'd him where he had left his Master The trusty Squire presently knew 'em and having no mind to discover his Master's Condition told 'em his Master was taken up with Business of great Consequence at a certain Place which he durst not discover for his Life No no Sancho Panca cry'd the Barber you must not think to put us off with a flim flam Story if you won't tell us where he is we shall believe you have murder'd him and robb'd him of his Horse therefore either satisfy us where you 've left him or we 'll have you lay'd by the Heels Look you Neighbour quoth Sancho I a'n't afraid of Words d'ye see I am neither a Thief nor a Manslayer I kill no Body so no Body kill me I leave every man to fall by his own Fortune or by the hand of him that made him As for my Master I left him a frisking and doing Penance in the midst of you Mountain to his heart 's Content After this without any further entreaty he gave 'em a full Account of that Business and of all their Adventures how he was then going from his Master to carry a Letter to my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso Lorenzo Corchuelo's Daughter with whom he was up to the ears in Love The Curate and the Barber stood amaz'd hearing all these particulars and tho they already knew Don Quixote's madness but too well they wonder'd more and more at the encrease of it and at so strange a Cast and variety of Extravagance Then they desir'd Sancho to show 'em the Letter He told 'em 't was written in a pocket-Pocket-Book and that his Master had order'd him to get it fairly transcrib'd upon Paper at the next Village he should come at Whereupon the Curate promising to write it out very fairly himself Sancho put his Hand in his Bosom to give him the Table-Book but tho he fumbled a great while for 't he could not find it there he look'd and look'd again but it had been all in vain tho he had search'd till Doom's-day for he came away from Don Quixote without it This put him into a cold Sweat and made him turn as pale as Death he fell a searching all his Clothes turn'd his Pockets inside outwards fumbled in his Bosom again but being at last convinc'd he had it not about him he fell a raving and stamping and cursing himself like a Madman he rent his Beard from his Chin with both hands befisted his own forgetful Scull and his blubber Cheeks and gave himself a bloody Nose in a Moment The Curate and the Barber ask'd him what was the matter with him and why he punish'd himself at that strange rate I deserve it all quoth Sancho like a buffle headed cockle brain'd Moon-calf as I am for losing at one Cast no less than three Asses whereof the least was worth a Castle How so quoth the Barber Why cry'd Sancho I 've lost that same table-Table-Book wherein was written Dulcinea's Letter and a Bill of Exchange drawn by my Master upon his Niece for three of the five Asses which he has at home and with that he told 'em how he had lost his own But the Vicar cheer'd him up and promis'd him to get him another Bill of Exchange from his Master written upon Paper whereas that in the Table Book not being in due form would not have been accepted With that Sancho took Courage and told 'em if it were so he car'd not a straw for the loss of Dulcinea's Letter for he knew it almost all by Rote Then prethee let 's hear it said the Barber and we 'll see and write it In order to this Sancho paus'd and began to study for the words presently he fell a scratching his thick Scull he stood first upon one Leg then upon another gap'd upon the Skies scowl'd upon the Ground knit his Brows rub'd his Forehead lay'd one hand upon his Eyes and bit his Nails with the other and at last after he had gnaw'd almost half of 'em and kept the Curate and the Barber a long while waiting to hear this rare Letter repeated odsnigs cry'd he good Mr.
and the Sea Ports which occasion'd the Blunder she had made by saying that she landed at Ossuna I perceiv'd it reply'd the Curare and therefore I put in what you heard which brought matters to rights again But is it not an amazing thing to see how ready this unfortunate Gentleman is to give credit to these fictitious Reports only because they have the Air of the extravagant Stories in Books of Knight-Errantry Cardenio said that he thought this so strange a Madness that he did not believe the Wit of Man cou'd devise any thing like it shou'd any one ever start the thought of such another The Gentleman reply'd the Curate has some Qualities in him ev'n as surprizing in a Madman as his unparallel'd Frenzy For take him but off from his Romantick Humour to discourse with him of any other Subject you will find him to handle it with a great deal of Reason and shew himself by his Conversation to have very clear and entertaining Conceptions Insomuch that if Knight-Errantry bears no relation to his Discourse there is no Man but will esteem him for his vivacity of Wit and strength of Judgment While they were thus discoursing Don Quixote prosecuting his Converse with his Squire Sancho said he let us lay aside all manner of Animosity and tell me as speedily as thou canst without any remains of thy last displeasure how when and where didst thou find my Lady Dulcinea What was she doing when thou first pay'st thy respects to her How didst thou express thy self to her What Answer was she pleas'd to make thee What Countenance did she put on at the perusal of my Letter Who transcrib'd it fairly for thee and every thing else which has any relation to this Affair without Addition Lies or Flattery On the other side take care thou losest not a Tittle of the whole matter by abbreviating it lest thou rob me of part of that delight which I propose to my self from it Sir answer'd Sancho if I must speak the truth and nothing but the truth no body copy'd out the Letter for me for I carry'd none at all That 's right cry'd Don Quixote for I found the pocket-Pocket-Book in which it was written two days after thy departure which occasion'd exceeding grief in me because I knew not what thou couldst do when thou found'st thy self without the Letter and I could not but be induc'd to believe that thou wouldst have return'd in order to take it with Thee I had certainly done so reply'd Sancho were it not for this Head of mine which kept it in Remembrance ever since your Worship read it to me and help'd me to say it over to a Parish-Clerk who writ it out for me word for word so purely that he swore tho' he had written out many a Letter of Excommunication in his time he never in all the days of his life had read or seen any thing so well spoken as it was And dost thou still retain the Memory of it my dear Sancho cry'd Don Quixote Not I quoth Sancho for as soon as I had giv'n it her and your turn was serv'd I was very willing to forget it But if I remember any thing 't is what was on the top and it was thus High and Subterrene I would say Soveraign Lady and at the bottom Yours untill Death The Knight of the Woful Figure and I put between these two things three hundred Souls and Lives and Pigsnyes CHAP. IV. The pleasant Dialogue between Don Quixote and his Squire continu'd with other Adventures ALL this is mighty well said Don Quixote proceed therefore You arriv'd and how was that Queen of Beauty then employ'd On my Conscience thou found'st her stringing of Orient Pearls or imbroideing some curious Device in Gold for me her Captive Knight was it not so my Sancho No faith answer'd the Squire I found her winnowing a parcel of Wheat very seriously in the back Yard Then said the Don you may rest assur'd that every Corn of that Wheat was a Grain of Pearl since she did it the honour of touching it with her Divine Hand Didst thou observe the quality of the Wheat was it not of the finest sort Very indifferent I thought said the Squire Well this it least you must allow it must make the finest whitest Bread if sifted by her white Hands but go on when you deliver'd my Letter did she kiss it Did she treasure it in her Bosom or what Ceremony did she use worthy such a Letter How did she behave her self Why truly Sir answer'd Sancho when I offer'd her the Letter she was very busy handling her Sieve and prithee honest Friend said she do so much as lay that Letter down upon the Sack there I can't read it till I have winnow'd out what 's in my hands O unparallel'd Discretion cry'd Don Quixote she knew that a Perusal requir'd leisure and therefore deferr'd it for her more pleasing and private Hours But on my Squire while she was thus employ'd what Conferences past what did she ask about her Knight and what did you reply Say all say all my dearest Sancho let not the smallest Circumstance scape thy Tongue speak all that Thought can frame or Pen describe Her Questions were easily answer'd Sir said Sancho for she ask'd me none at all I told her indeed in what a sad pickle I had left you for her sake naked to the Waste that you eat and slept like the Brute Beasts that you wou'd let a Rasor as soon touch your Throat as your Beard that you were still blubbering and crying or swearing and cursing your Fortune There you mistook reply'd Don Quixote I rather bless my Fortune and always shall while Life affords me Breath since I am thought to merit the esteem of so high a Lady as Dulcinea del Toboso There you hit it said Sancho she is a high Lady indeed Sir for she 's taller than I am by a Foot and a half Why how now Sancho said the Knight hast thou measur'd thy length with her Ay marry did I Sir said the Squire for you must know that she desir'd me to lend her a hand in lifting a Sack of Wheat on an Ass so we buckl'd about it and I came so close to her that I found she was taller than I by a full span at least Right answered Don Quixote but thou art also conscious that the uncommon Stature of her Person is adorn'd with innumerable Graces and Endowments of Soul but Sancho when you approach'd the charming She did not an Aromatick Smell strike thy Sense a Scent so Odoriferous pleasing and sweet as I want a Name for it sweet as you understand me as the richest Fragrancy diffus'd around a Perfumer's Magazine of Odours this at least you must grant me I did indeed feel a sort of Scent a little unsavory said Sancho somewhat vigorous or so for I suppose she had wrought hard and sweat somewhat plentifully 'T is false answer'd the Knight thy smelling has been debauch'd
Brass and time-surviving Marble till Envy grows tir'd with Labouring to deface his Fame and Malice to conceal ' em The Canon hearing the Prisoner and his Guard talk thus in the same Style was in amaze and bless'd himself for wonder as did the rest of the Company till Sancho Pança coming up to mend the Matter Look ye Sirs said he I will speak the truth take it well or take it ill My Master here is no more inchanted than my Mother He 's in his sober Sences he eats and drinks and does his Needs like other Folks and as he us'd to do and yet you 'll perswade me that a Man who can do all this is inchanted forsooth he can speak too for if you 'll let him alone he 'll prattle you more than thirty Attorneys Then turning towards the Curate O Mr. Curate Mr. Curate continu'd he do you think I don't know you and that I don't guess what all these new Inchantments drive at Yes I do know you well enough for all you hide your Face and understand your Design for all your sly Tricks Sir But 't is an old Saying There 's no striving against the Stream and the Weakest still goes to the Wall The Devil take the luck on 't had not your Reverence spoil'd our sport my Master had been marry'd before now to the Princess Micomicona and I had been an Earl at least nay that I was sure of had the worst come to the worst but the old Proverb is true again Fortune turns round like a Mill Wheel and he that was yesterday at the top lyes to day at the bottom I wonder Mr. Curate you that are a Clergyman shou'd not have more Conscience consider Sir that I have a Wife and Family who expect all to be great Folks and my Master here is to do a World of good Deeds and don 't you think Sir that you won't be made to answer for all this one day Snuff me those Candles said the Barber hearing Sancho talk at this rate What Fool are you brainsick of your Master's Disease too if you be you 're like to bear him Company in his Cage I 'll assure you Friend What inchanted Island is this that floats in your Scull or what Succubus has been riding thy Fancy and got it with Child of these Hopes With Child Sir what dy' e mean Sir said Sancho I scorn your Words Sir the best Lord in the Land shou'd not get me with Child no not the King himself Heaven bless him For tho' I 'm a poor Man yet I 'm an honest Man and an old Christian and don 't owe any Man a Farthing and tho' I desire Islands there are oâ—her Folks not far off that desire worse things Every one is the Son of his own Works I am a Man and may be Pope of Rome much sooner Governour of an Island especially considering my Master may gain so many as he may want Persons to bestow 'em on Therefore pray Mr. Barber take heed what you say for all consists not in shaving of Beards and there 's some difference between a Hawk and a Hand-saw I say so because we all know one another and no Body shall put a false Card upon me As to my Master's Inchantment let it stand as it is Heaven knows best and a Stink is still worse for the stirring The Barber thought Silence the best way to quiet Sancho's Impertience and the Curate doubting that he might spoil all intreated the Canon to put on a little before and he wou'd unfold the Mistery of the encag'd Knight which perhaps he would find one of the pleasantest Stories he had ever heard The Canon rid forward with him and his Men follow'd while the Curate made them a Relation of Don Quixote's Life and Quality and Madness and Adventures with the original Cause of his Distraction and the whole Progress of his Adventures till his being shut up in the Cage to get him home in order to have him cur'd They all admir'd at this strange Account and then the Canon turning to the Curate Believe me Mr. Curate said he I am fully convinc'd that these they call Books of Knight-Errantry are very prejudicial to the Publick And tho' I have been led away by an idle and false Pleasure to read the beginnings of almost as many of 'em as have been Printed I could never yet perswade my self to go through with any one to the end for to me they all seem to contain one and the same thing and there is as much in one of them as in all the rest The whole Composition and Style resemble that of the Milesian Fables which are a sort of idle Stories design'd only for Diversion and not for Instruction It is not so with those Fables which are call'd Apologues that at once delight and instruct But tho' the main design of such Books is to please yet I cannot conceive how it is possible they should perform it being fill'd with such a multitude of unaccountable Extravagancies For the Pleasure which strikes the Soul must be deriv'd from the Beauty and Congruity it sees or conceives in those things the Sight or Imagination lays before it and nothing in it self deformed or incongruous can give us any real Satisfaction Now what Beauty can there be or what Proportion of the Parts to the whole or of the whole to the several Parts in a Book or Fable where a Stripling at Sixteen Years of Age at one Cut of a Sword cleaves a Giant as tall as a Steeple through the middle as easily as if he were made of Pastboard Or when they give us the Relation of a Battle having said the Enemy's Power consisted of a Million of Combatants yet provided the Hero of the Book be against them we must of necessity tho' never so much against our Inclination conceive that the said Knight obtain'd the Victory only by his own Valour and the Strength of his powerful Arm And what shall we say of the great ease and facility with which an absolute Queen or Empress casts her self into the Arms of an Errant and unknown Knight What Mortal not altogether barbarous and unpolish'd can be pleas'd to read that a great Tower full of armed Knights cuts through the Sea like a Ship before the Wind and setting out in the Evening from the Coast of Italy lands by break of Day in Prester John's Country or in some other never known to Ptolomy or discover'd by Columbus If it should be answer'd That those Persons who Compose these Books write them as confess'd Lies and therefore are not oblig'd to observe Niceties or have regard to Truth I shall make this Reply That False-hood is so much the more commendable by how much it more resembles Truth and is the more pleasing the more it is doubtful and possible Fabulous Tales ought to be suited to the Reader 's Understanding being so contriv'd that all Impossibilities ceasing all great Accidents appearing easie and the Mind wholly hanging in
you mean the Tragedies of Isabella Phillis and Alexandra The very same I reply'd and do you judge whether they observ'd the Rules of the Drama and whether by doing so they lost any thing of their Esteem or fail'd of pleasing all sorts of People So that the Fault lies not in the Audience's desiring Absurdities but in those who know not how to give 'em any thing else Nor was there any thing preposterous in several other Plays as for Example Ingratitude reveng'd Numancia the amorouss Merchant and the favourable Enemy nor in some others compos'd by judicious Poets to their Honour and Credit and to the Advantage of those that acted them Much more I added which in my Opinion somewhat confounded but no way satisfy'd or convinc'd him so as to change his Opinion You have touch'd upon a Subject Sir said the Curate which has stirr'd up in me an old Aversion I have for the Plays now in use which is not inferior to that I bear to Books of Knight-Errantry For whereas Plays according to the Opinion of Cicero ought to be Mirrors of Humane Life Patterns of good Manners and the very Representatives of Truth those now acted are Mirrors of Absurdities Patterns of Follies and Images of Lewdness For instance What can be more absurd than for the same Person to be brought on the Stage a Child in Swadling-bands in the first Scene of the first Act and to appear in the second grown a Man What can be more ridiculous than to represent to us a fighting old Fellow a cowardly Youth a rhetorical Footman a politick Page a churlish King and an unpolish'd Princess What shall I say of their Regard to the Time in which those Actions they represent either might or ought to have happen'd having seen a Play in which the first Act began in Europe the second in Asia 'T is to be observed that the Spanish Plays have only three Jornadas or Acts. and the third ended in Africk Probably if there had been another Act they would have carry'd it into America and thus it would have been acted in the four Parts of the World But if Imitation be a principal part of the Drama how can any tolerable Judgment be pleas'd when representing an Action that happen'd in the time of King Pepin or Charlemaign they shall attribute it to the Emperor Heraclius and bring him in carrying the Cross into Jerusalem and recovering the Holy Sepulchre like Godfrey of Bouillon there being a vast distance of time betwixt these Actions Thus they will clap together Pieces of History in a Play of their own framing mixing in it Relations of things that have happen'd to different People and in several Ages This they do without any Contrivance that might make it the more probable and with such visible Mistakes as are altogether inexcusable but the worst of it is that there are Idiots who look upon this as Perfection and think every thing else to be mere Pedantry But if we look into the pious Plays what a multitude of false Miracles shall we find in them how many Errors and Contradictions how often the Miracles wrought by one Saint attributed to another Nay even in the prophane Plays they presume to work Miracles upon the bare Imagination and conceit that such a Supernatural Work or a Machine as they call it will be Ornamental and draw the common sort to see the Play These things are a reflection upon Truth it self a less'ning of History and a Reproach to all Spanish Wits because Strangers who are very exact in observing the Rules of the Drama look upon us as an ignorant and barbarous People when they see the Absurdities and Extravagancies of our Plays Nor would it be any Excuse to alledge that the principal Design of all good Governments in permitting Plays to be publickly acted is to amuse the Commonalty with some lawful Recreation and so to divert those ill Humours which Idleness is apt to breed And that since this end is attain'd by any sort of Plays whether good or bad it is needless to prescribe Laws to them or oblige the Poets or Actors to compose and represent such as are approv'd by them I say that this end propos'd would be infinitely better answer'd by good Plays than by bad ones He who sees a Play that is regular and answerable to the Rules of Poetry is pleas'd with the Comedy inform'd by the serious part surpriz'd at the variety of Accidents improv'd by the Language warn'd by Frauds instructed by Examples incens'd against Vice and enamour'd with Virtue for a good Play must cause all these Emotions in the Soul of him that sees it tho' he were never so insensible and unpolish'd And it is absolutely impossible that a Play which has all these Qualifications should not infinitely divert satisfy and please beyond another that wants them as most of them do which are now usually acted Neither are the Poets who write them in Fault for some of them are very sensible of their Errors and capable of performing their Duty but Plays being now altogether become Venial they say and with reason that the Actors would not purchase them unless they were of that Stamp and therefore the Poet endeavours to suit the Humour of the Actor who is to pay him for his Labour For proof of this let any Man observe that infinite number of Plays compos'd by an exuberant Spanish Wit Lope de Vega who writ an incredible number of Plays so full of Gaity and Humour in such lofty Verse and Language so sententious and to conclude in such a majestick Stile that his Fame is spread through the Universe Yet because he suited himself to the Fancy of the Actors many of them have fallen short of their due Perfection tho' some have reach'd it Others write Plays so inconsiderately that after they have appear'd on the Stage the Actors have been forc'd to fly and abscond for fear of being punish'd as it has often happen'd for having affronted Kings and dishonour'd whole Families These and many other ill Consequences I omit would cease by appointing an intelligent and judicious Person at Court to examine all Plays before they were acted that is not only those which are represented at Court but throughout all Spain So that without his License no Magistrate should suffer any Play to appear in publick Thus Players would be careful to send their Plays to Court and might then act them with safety and those who write would be more circumspect as standing in Awe of an Examiner that could judge of their Works By these means we should be furnish'd with good Plays and the end they are design'd for would be attain'd the People diverted the Spanish Wits esteem'd the Actors secur'd and the Government sav'd the trouble of punishing them And if the same Person or another were intrusted to examine all new Books of Knight-Errantry there is no doubt but some might be publish'd with all that Perfection you Sir have
and Tokens that are yet fresh on my Ribs would not let me Hold your Tongue said Don Quixote and let the Learned Batchelor proceed that I may know what the History says of me And of me too quoth Sancho for they tell me I am one of the top Parsons in 't Persons you should say Sancho said Carrasco and not Parsons Hey-day quoth Sancho have we got another Corrector of hard Words If this be the Trade we shall never ha' done May I be curs'd said Carrasco if you be not the second Person in the History honest Sancho nay and some there are who had rather hear you talk than the best there though some there are again that will say you were horribly Credulous to flatter your self with having the Government of that Island which your Master here present promis'd you While there 's Life there 's Hope said Don Quixote when Sancho is grown Mature with Time and Experience he may be better qualify'd for a Government than he is yet Odsbodikins Sir quoth Sancho if I been't fit to Govern an Island at these Years I shall never be a Governor though I live to the Years of Methusalah but there the Mischief lies we have Brains enough but we want the Island Come Sancho said Don Quixote hope for the best trust in Providence all will be well and perhaps better than you imagine But know there 's not a Leaf on any Tree that can be mov'd without the permission of Heaven That 's very true said Carrasco and I dare say Sancho shall not want a thousand Islands to Govern much less one that is if it be Heaven's Will Why not quoth Sancho I ha' seen Governors in my time who to my thinking could not come up to me passing the Sole of my Shooes and yet forsooth they call'd them your Honour and they eat their Victuals all in Silver Ay said Carrasco but these were none of your Governors of Islands but of other easie Governments Why Man these ought at least to know their Grammar Ay ay quoth Sancho give me but a gray Mare once and I shall know her well enough I 'll warrant ye But leaving the Government in the Hands of him that will best provide for me I must tell you Master Batchelor Sampson Carrasco I am huge glad that as your Author has not forgot me so he has not given an Ill Character of me for by the Faith of a trusty Squire had he said any thing that did not become * * A Name the Spaniards desire to be distinguish'd from the Jews and Moors by an Old Christian as I am I had rung him such a Peal that the Deaf should have heard me That were a Miracle said Carrasco Miracle me no more Miracles cry'd Sancho let every Man take care how he talks or how he writes of other Men and not set down at Random Higgle-de-piggledy what ever comes into his Noddle One of the faults found with this History said Carrasco is that the Author has thrust into 't a Novel which he calls The Curious Impertinent not that 't is ill Writ or the Design of it to be mislik'd but because it is not in its right place and has no coherence with the Story of Don Quixote I 'll lay my Life quoth Sancho the Son of a Mungrel has made a Gallimawfry of it all Now said Don Quixote I perceive that he who attempted to write my History is not one of the Sages but some ignorant prating Fool who would needs be meddling and set up for a Scribbler without the least grain of Judgment to help him out and so he has done like Orbaneja the Painter of Ubeda who being ask'd what he Painted answer'd as it may hit and when he had scrawl'd out a Mis-shapen Cock was forc'd to write underneath it in Gothick Letters This is a Cock At this rate I believe he has perform'd in my History so that it will require a Commentary to explain it Not at all answer'd Carrasco for he has made every thing so plain that there 's not the least thing in 't but what any one may understand Children handle it Youngsters read it Men understand it and Old People Applaud it In short 't is universally so thumb'd so glean'd so studi'd and so known that if the People do but see a Lean Horse they presently cry there goes Rozinante But none apply themselves to the reading it more than your Pages There 's ne'er a Nobleman's Antichamber where you shan't find a Don Quixote No sooner has one laid it down but another takes it up One asks for it here and there 't is snatch'd up by another In a Word 't is esteem'd the most Pleasant and least Dangerous Diversion that ever was seen as being a Book that does not betray the least indecent Expression nor so much as a profane Thought To write after another manner said Don Quixote were not to write Truth but Falshood and those Historians who are guilty of that should be punish'd like those who Counterfeit the Lawful Coin But I cannot conceive what could move the Author to stuff his History with Foreign Novels and Adventures not at all to the Purpose while there was a sufficient Number of my own to have exercis'd his Pen. Without doubt they should observe the Proverb Ne'er stuff the Cushion with Straw if you have Down enough And certainly had he altogether confin'd himself to my Thoughts my Sighs my Tears my laudable Designs my Adventures he might yet have swell'd his Book to as great a Bulk at least as all Tostatus's Works I have also reason to believe Mr Batchelor that to compile a History or write any Book whatsoever is a more difficult Task than Men imagine There 's need of a vast Judgement and a ripe Understanding It belongs to none but great Genius's to express themselves with Grace and Elegance and draw the Manners and Actions of others to the Life The most Artful Part in a Play is the Fool 's and therefore a Fool must not pretend to write it On the other side History is in a manner a sacred thing so far as it contains Truth for where Truth is the Supreme Father of it may also be said to be at least in as much as concerns Truth However there are Men that will make you Books and turn 'em loose into the World with as much dispatch as they would do a Dish of Fritters There 's no Book so bad said the Batchelor but some good thing may be found in it That 's true said Don Quixote yet 't is a common thing for Men who had gain'd a very great Reputation by their Writings before they Printed them to lose it afterwards quite or at least the greatest part The Reason's plain said Carrasco their Faults are more easily discover'd after their Books are Printed as being then more read and more narrowly examin'd the rather if the Author has been much cry'd up before the severity of the scrutiny is so
Dignity Can'st thou not remember the Verses of our Poet when he recounts the Employments of the four Nymphs at their Chrystal-Mansions when they advanc'd their Heads above the Streams of the lovely Tagus and sat upon the Grass working those rich Embroideries where Silk and Gold and Pearl emboss'd were so curiously interwoven and which that ingenious Bard so Artfully describes So was my Princess employ'd when she bless'd thee with her sight but the envious malice of some base Necromancer fascinated thy Sight as it represents whatever is most grateful to me in different and displeasing Shapes And this makes me fear that if the History of my Atchievements which they tell me is in Print has been written by some Magician who is no well-wisher to my Glory he has undoubtedly deliver'd many things with Partiality misrepresented my Life inserting a hundred falshoods for one truth and diverting himself with the relation of idle Stories foreign from the purpose and obnoxious to the continuation of a true History Oh Envy Envy Thou gnawing worm of Virtue and Spring of infinite Mischiefs There is no other Vice my Sancho but pleads some pleasure in its excuse but Envy is always attended by Disgust Rancour and distracting Rage I am much of your Mind said Sancho and I think in the same Book which Neighbour Carrasco told us he had read of our Lives the Story makes bold with my Credit and has handl'd it at a strange rate and has dragg'd it about the Kennels as a body may say Well now as I 'm an honest Man I never spoke an ill Word of a Magician in my born Days and I think they need not envy my Condition so much The truth is I am somewhat malicious I have my roguish Tricks now and then but I was ever counted more Fool than Knave for all that and so indeed I was bred and born and if there were nothing else in me but my Religion for I firmly believe whatever our holy Roman Catholick Church believes and I hate the Jews mortally these same Historians should take pity o' me and spare me a little in their Books But let 'em say on to the end of the Chapter naked I came into the World and naked must go out 'T is all a case to Sancho I can neither win nor lose and so they put me in their Books and toss my Name from Post to Pillar I care not a Fig for the worst they can say What thou say'st Sancho answer'd Don Quixote puts me in mind of a Story A celebrated Poet of our time wrote a very scurrilous and abusive Lampoon upon all the Intriguing Ladies of the Court forbearing to name one as not being sure whether she deserv'd to be put into the Catalogue or no but the Lady not finding herself there was not a little affronted at the Omission and made a great Complaint to the Poet asking him what he had seen in her that he shou'd leave her out of his List desiring him at the same time to enlarge his Satire and put her in or expect to hear further from her The Author obey'd her Commands and gave her a Character with a vengeance and to her great satisfaction made her as famous for Infamy as any Woman about the Town Such another story is that of Diana's Temple one of the seven Wonders of the World burnt by an ignoble Fellow meerly to eternize his Name which in spight of an Edict that enjoyn'd all People never to mention it either by word of Mouth or in Writing yet is still known to have been Erostratus The Story of the great Emperor Charles the Fifth and a Roman Knight upon a certain occasion is much the same The Emperour had a great desire to see the famous Temple once called the Pantheon but now more happily the Church of All Saints 'T is the only entire Edifice remaining of Heathen Rome and that which best gives an Idea of the Glory and Magnificence of its great Founders 'T is built in the shape of a half Orange of a vast Extent and very lightsom tho' it admits no Light but at one Window or to speak more properly at a round Aperture on the top of the Roof The Emperor being got up thither and looking down from the Brink upon the Fabrick with a Roman Knight by him who shew'd all the Beauties of that vast edifice after they were gone from the place says the Knight addressing the Emperor It came into my Head a thousand Times Sacred Sir to embrace your Majesty and cast my self with you from the top of the Church to the bottom that I might thus purchase an immortal Name I thank you said the Emperor for not doing it and for the future I will give you no opportunity to put your Loyalty to such a Test Therefore I banish you my Presence for ever which done he bestow'd some mighty Favour on him I tell thee Sancho this desire of Honour is a strange bewitching thing What dost thou think made Horatius arm'd at all points plunge headlong from the Bridge into the Rapid Tyber What prompted Curtius to leap into the profound flaming Gulph What made Mutius burn his Hand What forc'd Coesar over the Rubicon spight of all the Omens that dissuaded his Passage And to instance a more modern Example what made the undaunted Spaniards sink their Ships when under the most Courteous Cortez but that scorning the stale Honor of this so often Conquer'd World they sought a Maiden Glory in a new Scene of Victory These and a multiplicity of other great Actions are owing to the immediate thirst and desire of Fame which Mortals expect as the proper Price and immortal Recompence of their great Actions But we that are Christian Catholick Knight-Errants must fix our hopes upon a higher Reward plac'd in the Eternal and Celestial Regions where we may expect a permanent Honour and compleat Happiness not like the vanity of Fame which at best is but the shadow of great Actions and must necessarily vanish when destructive Time has eat away the Substance which it follow'd So my Sancho since we expect a Christian Reward we must suit our Actions to the Rules of Christianity In Giants we must kill Pride and Arrogance But our greatest Foes and whom we must chiefly combare are within Envy we must overcome by generosity and nobleness of Soul Anger by a repos'd and easy Mind Riot and Drowsiness by Vigilance and Temperance Lasciviousness by our inviolable Fidelity to those who are Mistresses of our Thoughts and Sloth by our indefatigable Peregrinations thro' the Universe to seek occasions of Military as well as Christian Honours This Sancho is the Road to lasting Fame and a good and honourable Renown I understand passing well every Tittle you have said answer'd Sancho but pray now Sir will you dissolve me of one doubt that 's just come into my Head Resolve thou would'st say Sancho reply'd Don Quixote Well speak and I will endeavour to satisfy thee Why then
Service and withal that I dy'd every hour for want of her reviving Company and made it my humble and earnest Request that she wou'd vouchsafe to see and converse with her Captive Servant and weather-beaten Knight Tell her continu'd I when she least expects it she will come to hear how I have made an Oath as the Marquess of Mantua did when he found his Nephew Baldwin ready to expire on the Mountain never to eat upon a Table-cloath and several other particulars which he swore to observe till he had reveng'd his Death So in the like solemn manner will I Swear never to desist from traversing the habitable Globe and ranging thro' all the seven Parts of the World more indefatigably than ever was done by Prince Pedro of Portugal till I have freed her from her Inchantment All this and more you owe my Mistress said the Damsel and then having got the four Reals instead of dropping me a Curtsie she cut me a Caper in the Air two yards high Now Heaven defend us cry'd Sancho who cou'd ever have believ'd that these Devilish Inchanters and Inchantments shou'd have so much power in this World as to bewitch my Master at that rate and craze his sound Understanding in that manner Alas Sir for Heaven's sake take care of your self What will the World say of you Rouse up your dozing Senses and don 't doat upon those Whimsies that have so wickedly crack'd that rare Head-piece of yours Well said Don Quixote I cannot be angry at thy ignorant Tittle-tattle because it proceeds from thy Love towards me Thou think'st poor Fellow that whatever is beyond the Sphere of thy Narrow Comprehension must be impossible But as I have already said there will come a time when I shall give thee an account of some Things I have seen below that will convince thee of the Reality of those I told thee now the Truth of which admits of no Dispute CHAP. XXIV Which is very Foolish and Impertinent tho' very necessary for the better understanding of this grand History THE Translator of this great History declares that at the beginning of the Chapter which Treats of the Adventure of Montesinos's Cave he found a Marginal Annotation written with the Arabian Author's own Hand in these Words I cannot be perswaded nor believe that all the wonderful Accidents said to have happen'd to the Valorous Don Quixote in the Cave so punctually befell him as he relates 'em For the Course of his Adventures hitherto has been very Natural and bore the Face of Probability but in this there appears no Coherence with Reason and nothing but monstrous Incongruities But on the other Hand if we consider the Honour Worth and Integrity of the Noble Don Quixote we have not the least reason to suspect he would be guilty of a Lye but rather that he would sooner have been Transfix'd with Arrows Besides he has been so particular in his Relation of that Adventure and given so many Circumstances that I dare not declare it absolutely Apocryphal especially when I consider that he had not time enough to invent such a Cluster of Fables I therefore insert it among the rest without offering to Determine whether it is true or false leaving it to the Discretion of the Judicious Reader Tho' I must acquaint him by the way that Don Quixote upon his Death-Bed utterly disown'd this Adventure as a perfect Fable which he said he had invented purely to please his Humour being suitable to such as he had formerly read in Romances And so much by way of Digression The Scholar thought Sancho the most saucy Servant and his Master the calmest Mad-man that ever he saw tho' he attributed the Patience of the latter to a certain good Humour and easiness of Temper infus'd into him by the sight â—f his Mistress Dulcinea even under Inchantment Otherwise he wou'd have though this not checking Sancho a greater sign of Madness than his Discourse Noble Don Quixote said he for four principal Reasons I am extremely pleas'd with having taken this Journey with you First it has procur'd me the Honour of your Acquaintance which I shall always esteem a singular Happiness In the second Place Sir the Secrets of Montesinos's Cave and the Transformations of Guadiana and Ruydera's Lakes have been reveal'd to me which may look very great in my Spanish Ovid. My third Advantage is to have discover'd the Antiquity of Card-playing which I find to have been a Pastime in use even in the Emperor Charles the Great 's time as may be Collected from the Words of Durandarte who after a long Speech of Montesinos's said as he wak'd Patience and shuffle the Cards which vulgar Expression he could never have learn'd in his Inchantment It follows therefore that he must have heard it when he liv'd in France which was in the Reign of that Emperor which Observation is nick'd I think very opportunely for my Supplement to Polydore Virgil who as I remember has not touch'd upon Card-playing I will insert it into my Work I 'll assure you Sir as a matter of great Importance having the Testimony of so Authentick and Ancient an Author as Sir Durandarte The fourth part of my good Fortune is to know the certain and true source of the River Guadiana which has hitherto disappointed all Humane Enquiries There is a great deal of Reason in what you say answer'd Don Quixote But under favour Sir pray tell me should you happen to get a Licence to Publish your Books which I somewhat doubt whom will you pitch upon for your Patrons Oh Sir answer'd the Author there are Lords and Grandees enough in Spain sure that I may Dedicate to Truly not many said Don Quixote there are indeed several whose Merits deserve the Praise of a Dedication but very few whose Purses will reward the Pains and Civility of the Author I must confess I know a Prince whose Generosity may make amends for what is wanting in the rest and that to such a Degree that should I make bold to come to Particulars and speak of his great Merits 't would be enough to stir up a noble Emulation in above four generous Breasts But more of this some other time 't is late now and therefore convenient to think of a Lodging Hard by us here Sir said the Author is an Hermitage the Retirement of a Devout Person who as they say was once a Soldier and is look'd upon as a good Christian and so charitable that he has built there a little House at his own expence purely for the Entertainment of Strangers But does he keep Hens there trow ask'd Sancho Few Hermits in this Age want 'em said Don Quixote for their way of Living now falls short of the Strictness and Austerity of those in the Desarts of Egypt who went Clad only with Palm-leaves and fed on the Roots of the Earth Now because I speak well of those of old I would not have you think I reflect on the others No I
when they heard a great Noise in the House and by and by Sancho came running in unexpectedly into the Room where they sate in a terrible Fright with a Dish-clout before him instead of a Bib. The Scullions and other greasie Rabble of the Kitchen were about him one of 'em pursuing him with a little Kneading-Trough full of Dish-water which he endeavour'd by any means to put under his Chin while another stood ready to have wash'd the poor Squire with it How now Fellow said the Dutchess What 's the matter here What wou'd you do with this good Man Don't you consider he 's a Governor Elect Madam quoth the Barber-Scullion the Gentleman won't let us wash him according to Custom as my Lord Duke and his Master were Yes marry but I will quoth Sancho in a mighty Huff but then it shall be with clearer Sudds cleaner Towels and not quite so stovenly Paws for there 's no such difference between my Master and me neither that he must be wash'd with Angel-Water and I with the Devil's Lye So far the Customs of great Men's Houses are good as they give no Offence But this same Beastly washing in a Puddle is worse Pennance than a Frier's Flogging My Beard is clean enough and wants no such refreshing Stand clear you had best for the first that comes to wash me or touch a Hair of my Head my Beard I would say Sir Reverence of the Company I 'll take him such a Dowse o' th' Ear he shall feel it a Twelvemonth after For these kind of Ceremonies and Soapings d' ye see look more like Flouts and Jeers than like a civil Welcome to Strangers The Dutchess was like to have burst her Sides with Laughing to see Sancho's Fury and hear how he argu'd for himself But Don Quixote did not very well like to see him with such a nasty Dish-Clout about his Neck and made the sport of the Kitchen-Pensioners Therefore after he had made a deep Bow to the Duke as it were desiring Leave to speak looking on the Scullions Hark ye Gentlemen cry'd he very gravely Pray let the Young Man alone and get you gone as you came if you think fit My Squire is as cleanly is another Man your Trough won't do you might as well have brought him a Dram-Cup Away be advis'd by me and leave him For neither he nor I can abide such slovenly Jestings No no quoth Sancho taking the Words out of his Master's Mouth let 'em stay and go on with their Show I 'll pay my Barbers I 'll warrant ye They had as good take a Lion by the Beard as meddle with mine Let 'em bring a Comb hither or what they will and Curry-comb it and if they find any thing there that should not be there I 'll give 'em leave to cut and mince me as small as a Horse Sancho is in the right said the Dutchess still Laughing and will be in the right in all he says he is as clean and neat as can be and needs none of your scouring and if he does not like our way of Washing let him do as he pleases Besides you who pretend to make others clean have shewn your selves now very Careless and Idle I don't know whether I mayn't say Impudent too to offer to bring your Kneading-Trough and your Dish-clouts to such a Person and such a Beard instead of a Golden Bason and Ewer and fine Diaper-Towels But you are a Pack of unmannerly Varlets and like saucy Rascals as you are can't help shewing your Spight to the Squires of Knight-Errants The greasy Regiment and even the Steward who was with 'em thought verily the Dutchess had been in earnest So they took the Cloath from Sancho's Neck and sneak'd off quite out of Countenance Sancho seeing himself deliver'd from his Apprehensions of this Danger ran and threw himself on his Knees before the Dutchess Heaven bless your Worship's Grace quoth he Madam Dutchess Great Persons are able to do great Kindnesses For my part I don't know how to make your Worship amends for this you 've done me now I can only wish I might see my my self an Arm'd Knight-Errant for your sake that I might spend all the Days of my Life in the Service of so high a Lady I am a poor Country-Man my Name is Sancho Pança Children I have and serve as a Squire If in any of these Matters I can do you any good you need but speak I 'll be nimbler in doing than your Worship shall be in ordering 'T is evident Sancho said the Dutchess that you have learn'd Civility in the School of Courtesy it self and have been bred up under the Wings of Don Quixote who is the very Cream of Compliment and the Flower of Ceremonies All Happiness attend such a Knight and such a Squire the one the North-Star of Chivalry-Errant the other the bright Luminary of Squire-like Fidelity Rise my Friend Sancho and assure your self that for the Recompence of your Civilities I will perswade my Lord Duke to put you in Possession of the Government he promis'd you as soon as he can After this Don Quixote went to take his Afternoon's Sleep But the Dutchess desir'd Saâ—cho if he were not very sleepy he would pass the Afternoon with her and her Women in a cool Room Sancho told her Grace that indeed he did use to take a good sound Nap some four or five hours long in an Afternoon but to do her good Honour a Kindness he wou'd break an old Custom for once and do his best to hold up that Day and wait on her Worship The Duke on his side gave fresh Orders that Don Quixote shou'd be entertain'd exactly like a Knight-Errant without deviating the least step from the Road of Chivalry such as is observable in Books of that kind CHAP. XXXIII The savoury Conference which the Dutchess and her Women held with Sancho Pança worth your Reading and Observation THE Story afterwards informs us that Sanchâ— slept not a Wink all that Afternoon but waited on the Dutchess as he had promis'd Being mightily taken with his comical Discourse she order'd him to take a low Chair and sit by her but Sancho who knew better things absolutely declin'd it till she press'd him again to sit as he was a Governour and speak as he was a Squire in both which Capacities he deserv'd the very Seat of Cid Ruy Diaz the famous Champion Sancho shrugg'd up his Shoulders and obey'd and all the Dutchess's Women standing round about her to give her silent Attention she began the Conference Now that we are private said she and no Body to over-hear us I would desire you my Lord Governour to resolve me of some Doubts in the printed History of the great Don Quixote which puzzle me very much First I find that the good Sancho had never seen Dulcinea the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso I should have said nor carried her his Master's Letter as having left the table-Table-Book behind him in Sierra Morena how then
Way Sir I think this kind of Version from one Language to another except it be from the noblest of Tongues the Greek and Latin is like viewing a Piece of Flemmish Tapistry on the wrong Side where though the Figures are distinguishable yet there are so many Ends and Threads that the Beauty and Exactness of the Work is obscur'd and not so advantagiously discern'd as on the right Side of the Hangings Neither can this barren Employment of translating out of easy Languages shew either Wit or Mastery of Style no more than copying a Piece of Writing by a Precedent though still the Business of Translating wants not its Commendations since Men very often may be worse employ'd As a further Proof of its Merits we have Doctor Christoval de Figueroa's Translation of Pastor Fido and Don Juan de Xaurigui's Aminta Pieces so excellently well done that they have made 'em purely their own and left the Reader in Doubt which is Translation and which Original But tell me pray Sir do you print your Book at your own Charge or have you sold the Copy to a Book-seller Why truly Sir answer'd the Translator I publish it upon my own Account and I hope to clear at least a thousand Crowns by this first Edition for I design to print off two thousand Books and they will go off at six Reals apiece in a Trice I 'm afraid you 'll come short of your Reckoning said Don Quixote 't is a Sign you are still a Stranger to the Tricks of these Booksellers and Printers and the Juggling there is among them I dare engage you will find two thousand Books lie very heavy upon your Hands especially if the Piece be somewhat tedious and wants Spirit What Sir reply'd the Author would you have me sell the Profit of my Labour to a Bookseller for three Maravedis a Sheet for that 's the most they will bid nay and expect too I should thank 'em for the Offer No no Sir I print not my Works to get Fame in the World my Name is up already Profit Sir is my End and without it what signifies Reputation Well Sir go on and prosper said Don Quixote and with that moving to another Part of the Room he saw a Man correcting a Sheet of a Book call'd The Light of the Soul Ay now this is something cry'd the Knight these are the Books that ought to be printed though there are a great many of that Kind for the Number of Sinners is prodigious in this Age and there is Need of an infinite Quantity of Lights for so many dark Souls as we have among us Then passing on and enquiring the Title of a Book of which another Workman was correcting a Sheet they told him 't was the Second Part of that ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote de la Mancha written by a certain Person a Native of Tordesillas I have heard of that Book before said Don Quixote and really thought it had been burnt and reduc'd to Ashes for a foolish impertinent Libel but all in good â—ime Execution-day will come at last For made Stories are only so far good and agreeable as they are profitable and bear the Resemblance of Truth and true History the more valuable the farther it keeps from the fabulous And so saying he flung out of the Printing-house in a Huff That very Day Don Antonio would needs shew Don Quixote the Gallies in the Road much to Sancho's Satisfaction because he had never seen any in his Life Don Antonio therefore gave Notice to the Commander of the Gallies that in the Afternoon he would bring his Guest Don Quixote de la Mancha to see 'em the Commander and all the People of the Town being by that Time no Strangers to the Knight's Character But what happen'd in the Gallies must be the Import of the next Chapter CHAP. LXIII Of Sancho's Misfortune on board the Gallies with the strange Adventures of the beautiful Morisca MAny and serious were Don Quixote's Reflections on the Answer of the inchanted Head tho' none hit on the Deceit but center'd all in the Promise of Dulcinea's Disinchantment and expecting it wou'd speedily be effected he rested joyfully satisfy'd As for Sancho tho' he hated the Trouble of being a Governour yet still he had an itching Ambition to rule to be obey'd and appear great for even Fools love Authority In short that Afternoon Don Antonio his two Friends Don Quixote and Sancho set out for the Gallies The Commander being advertis'd of their coming upon their Appearance on the Key order'd all the Gallies to strike Sail the Musick play'd and a Pinnace spread with rich Carpets and Crimson-Velvet Cushions was presently hoisted out and sent to fetch 'em aboard As soon as Don Quixote set his Foot into it the Admiral-Galley discharg'd her Forecastle-Piece and the rest of the Gallies did the like When Don Quixote got over the Gunnel of the Galley on the Starboard-side the whole Crew of Slaves according to their Custom of saluting Persons of Quality welcom'd him with three hu hu huz or huzzahs The General for so we must call him by Birth a Valencian and a Man of Quality gave him his Hand and embrac'd him This Day said he will I mark as one of the happiest I expect to see in all my Life since I have the Honour now to see Senior Don Quixote de la Mancha this Day I say that sets before my Eyes the Summary of wandring Chivalry collected in one Person Don Quixote return'd his Compliment with no less Civility and appear'd over-joy'd to see himself so treated like a Grandee Presently they all went aft on the Deck which was handsomely adorn'd and there they took their Places The Boatswain went to the Fore-castle and with his Whistle or Call gave the Sign to the Slaves to strip which was obey'd in a Moment Sancho was scar'd to see so many Fellows in their naked Skins but most of all when he saw 'em hoist up the Sails so incredibly fast as he thought cou'd never have been done but by so many Devils He had plac'd himself a Mid-ships next the hindmost Rower on the Starboard-side who being instructed what to do caught Hold of him and giving him a Hoist handed him to the next Man who toss'd him to a third and so the whole Crew of Slaves beginning on the Starboard-side made him fly so fast from Bench to Bench that poor Sancho lost the very Sight of his Eyes and verily believ'd all the Devils in Hell were carrying him away to rights Nor did the Slaves give over bandying him about till they had handed him in the same Manner over all the Larboard-side and then they set him down where they had taken him up but strangely disorder'd out of Breath in a cold Sweat and not truly sensible what it was that had happen'd to him Don Quixote seeing his Squire fly at this Rate without Wings ask'd the General if that were a Ceremony us'd to all Strangers aboard the Gallies
Regard to Virgin-Decency are forc'd to give their Tongues a Loose and betray the Secrets of their Hearts Alas Noble Don Quixote de la Mancha I am one of those unhappy Persons over-rul'd by my Passion but yet so reserv'd and patient in my Sufferings that Silence broke my Heart and my Heart broke in Silence 'T is now two Days most inexorable and Marble-hearted Man since the Sense of your severe Usage and Cruelty brought me to my Death or something so like it that every one that saw me judg'd me to be dead And had not Love been compassionate and assign'd my Recovery on the Sufferings of this kind Squire I had ever remain'd in the other World Truly quoth Sancho Love might e'en as well have made Choice of my Ass for that Service and he would have obliged me a great deal more But pray good Mistress tell me one Thing now and so Heaven provide you a better natur'd Sweet-heart than my Master what did you see in the other World What Sort of Folks are there in Hell For there I suppose you have been for those that die of themselves must needs go to that Summer-house To tell you the Truth reply'd Altisidora I fancy I could not be dead out-right because I was not got so far as Hell for had I got in I 'm sure I should ne'er have been allow'd to have got out again I got to the Gates indeed where I found a round Dozen of Devils in their Breeches and Waste-coats playing at Tennis with flaming Rackets they wore flat Bands with scollop'd Lace and Ruffles of the same Their Arms were naked four Fingers Breadth to give an Air to their Wrists and make their Hands look the longer But what I most wonder'd at was that instead of Tennis-balls they made use of Books that were every whit as light and stuff'd with Wind and Flock or such Kind of Trumpery This was indeed most strange and wonderful but what still amaz'd me more I found that contrary to the Custom of Gamesters among whom the gaining Party at least is in good Humour and the Losers only angry these Hellish Tossers of Books of both sides did nothing but fret fume stamp curse and swear most horribly as if they had been all Losers That 's no Wonder at all quoth Sancho for your Devils whether they play or no win or lose they can never be contented That may be said Altisidora but another Thing that I admire I then admir'd I would say was that the Ball would not bear a second Blow but at every Stroke they were oblig'd to change Books some of 'em new some old which I thought very strange And one Accident that happen'd upon this I can't forget They tos'd up a new Book fairly bound and gave it such a smart Stroke that the very Guts flew out of it and all the Leaves were scatter'd about Then cry'd one of the Devils to another look look what Book is that 'T is the Second Part of the History of Don Quixote said the other not that which was compos'd by Cid Hamet the Author of the first but by a certain Arragonian who professes himself a Native of Tordesillas Away with it cry'd the first Devil down with it plunge it to the lowest Pit of Hell where I may never see it more Why is it such sad stuff said the other Such intolerable Stuff cry'd the first Devil that if I and all the Devils in Hell should set our Heads together to make it worse it were past our Skill The Devils continu'd their Game and shatter'd a World of other Books but the Name of Don Quixote that I so passionately ador'd confin'd my Thoughts only to that Part of the Vision which I told you It could be nothing but a Vision to be sure said Don Quixote for I am the only Person of that Name now in the Universe and that very Book is tos'd about here at the very same rate never resting in a Place for every Body has a Fling at it Nor am I concern'd that any Phantom assuming my Name should wander in the Shades of Darkness or in the Light of this World since I am not the Person of whom that History treats If it be well writ faithful and authentick it will live Ages but if it be bad 't will have but a bad Journey from its Birth to the Grave of Oblivion Altisidora was then going to renew her Expostulations and Complaints against Don Quixote had not he thus interrupted her I have often caution'd you Madam said he of fixing your Affections upon a Man who is absolutely uncapable of making a suitable Return It grieves me to have a Heart obtruded upon me when I have no Entertainment to give it but bare cold Thanks I was only born for Dulcinea del Toboso and to her alone the Destinies if such there be have devoted my Affection So 't is â—resumption for any other Beauty to imagine she can displace her or but share the Possession she holds in my Soul This I hope may suffice to take away all Foundation from your Hopes and to recal your Modesty and re-instate it in its proper Bounds for nothing is to be expected from a Man in Impossibilities Upon hearing this Death of my Life Cry'd Altisidora putting on a violent Passion thou Lump of Lead thou with a Soul of Morter and a Heart as little and as hard as the Stone of an Olive more stubborn than a fullen Plough-driver or a Carrier's Horse that will never go out of his Road I have a good Mind to tear your Eyes out as deep as they are in your Head Why thou beaten Swash-buckler thou Rib-roasted Knight of the Cudgel hast thou the Impudence to think that I dy'd for Love of thy Lanthorn-Jaws No no Sir Tiffany all that you have seen this Night has been Counterfeit for I would not suffer the Pain of a Flea-bite much less that of dying for such a Dromedary as thou art Troth Lass I believe thee quoth Sancho for all these Stories of People dying for Love are meer Tales of a roasted Horse They tell you they 'll dye for Love but the Devil a-bit Trust to that and be laugh'd at Their Discourse was interrupted by the coming in of the Harper Singer and Composer of the Stanza's that were perform'd in the Court the Night before Sir Knight said he to Don Quixote making a profound Obeisance let me beg the Favour of being number'd among your most humble Servants 't is an Honour which I have long been ambitious to receive in regard of your great Renown and the Value of your Atchievements Pray Sir said Don Quixote let me know who you are that I may proportion my Respects to your Merits The Spark gave him to understand he was the Person that made and sung the Verses he heard the last Night Truly Sir said Don Quixote you have an excellent Voice but I think your Poetry was little to the Purpose for what Relation pray have