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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A09710 Platoes cap Cast at this yeare 1604, being leape-yeere. Evesdropper, Adam. 1604 (1604) STC 19975; ESTC S110473 6,124 22

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PLATOES Cap. Cast at this Yeare 1604 being Leape-yeere LONDON Printed for Jeffrey Chorlton 1604. ble Venus till all the States smile at him if your Glances be not too full of yron-moulds I presume you will fling one smile at our button-Cap and I wish no higher For A smile is constant and doth gild each Stile But laughter is the Foole of euerie smile The wonders we entreat of here haue little harme in them you may take more hurt in a Barbers shop if you sit there fasting than all my prognosticating Comedie or comicke Prognostication aymes at and if these Euents chaunce to happen they will bee but merrie ones for they wish il to none but to those that wish ill to themselues and none can iustly except at this but those that cannot well read it for there is great difference betweene reading and reading wel for those that read wel haue a good tongue of their owne and spoile nothing in the spelling and to such I cast vp my Cap both in Paules-churchyard Popes-head Alley and at Temple-barre Yours for a Raynie day Adam Euesdropper ❧ MIHILL MERcurie the Pothecarie in praise of the Booke IF I haue skill This Booke 's not ill But chast and pleasant If I knew the Author I sweare by my Daughter I 'de giue him a Pheasant Nor doe you wonder You writers of Thunder I know not the Poet. T is the Bookes prayse I write But I would not for a mite Haue hee himselfe know it For if hee should spye it I 'de flatly deny it He would fret chafe Nestle Stampe more in a minute Then I in a Sennet At home with my Pestle Therefore my best way Is not long heere to stay Because I 'me no fighter This course then I tooke To commend the Booke But not meddle with the writer And because his Art Is so pretty and tart And his inke so well sauourd I sweare by my simples A Nose full of pimples Is verie ill fauourd For so he doth prognosticate and showes A white flaxe beard wasts with a fierie Nose See where he comes I dare not stay I flye So All Enuies poyson goe with Mercurie The same Hand againe PLATOES Cap. THE Reuolution of this present yeere 1604 takes his beginning at what time the Sun enters into the first minute of Aries when many a scold shall be found in Ramme-Alley whose tongues will neuer linne iangling vntill the Sunne enter into another Signe as the Myter or rather some bowzing Tappe-house where they must all drinke themselues friends againe till they are able to speak no more than a drownd Rat and then by that time I hope they will be quiet Next I find that the Sunne entring into Taurus it will bee exceeding good this yeere for the Butchers both in Southwarke Eastcheape and Saint Nicholas Shambles for hee takes his entrance iust vpon Easter Tuesday to the deposing of Lent and the ouerthrow of salt Sammon and fresh Cod and to the restoring againe of Heroick-valiant Beefe that ancient and surly Courtier that neuer appeares without a messe of Mustard his Gentleman-vsher bareheaded before him Red Herring may goe hange himselfe then for a Tweluemonth vppon the rusty beame of some Farmers chimney vntill the hungry Ploughboyes cut him downe and quarter him for Oliuer Offall the Butcher will bee fatte and flourish and Gregorie Gizzern the Poulter will bring foorth his Progenies of Partridges Plouers and Blacke-birds and what a pitifull sight it will bee for poore Wayters and Trencher-bearers to see wise men their Maisters feed vpon Woodcockes From thence the Sunne trauailes into Gemini not into Germanie as some Mechanicke-readers will read Germanie for Gemini and then Mayds beware of two at once or two at a Birth if you loue to preserue your owne Credits but you especially this double signe threatnes most that liue in Marchants houses amongst wanton Springals your Fellow-seruants and are at midnight at the massacre and sacking of a Posset when your sober Master and continent Mistres are in their first sleepe and little dreame of your Sinamon and Sugar which are alwayes the two sweete Presenters of a Sack-Posset the Sceane being layd in a Bowle or a Bason and the Actors some halfe a dozen of siluer Spoones which seldome are out of their parts vntill all bee eaten there is much perill and danger in this Signe you Damosels of seauenteene and one and Twentie therefore if I might counsell you you should bee your owne Pothecaries and preserue your honesties better than Barberies Goe to bed presently after your Master and Mistresse saue candles and Candles pound for there is craft nowe adayes in waighing of Candles and great pollicie in the vttering of Puddings Next the Sunne takes his Iourney into the stinging Signe Scorpio and then beware of Brokers Vsurers and Pettifoggers the Scorpions of a kingdome come not in their villaynous clutches all that Moneth especially for they will make you pay well for it more in one Moneth than you shall bee able to recouer againe a whole Tweluemonth after But entring into Sagittarius it will bee passing good for the Fletchers in Grubstreet and all the Caualeero Bowyers tweluescore Prickes will be in season and those may shoote at Bun-hill that are non-suited at Westminster Hall After this the Sunne mounts into Capricorne and then woe bee vnto you that are Horne-madde and haue three Acres at Cuckolds Hauen you are well landed then for one Acre there is more than euer you will bee able to make away as longe as you liue This Signe raignes Ielosie vppon men and women vppon ould frostie men that haue young lustie wiues and vppon ould riueld women that haue young beardlesse Husbands for the 〈◊〉 poyson of Ielosie swelles the bosomes of vnequall Bedfellowes and a peece of a Vnicornes Horne can helpe any man but a Cuckold whereby that ould moth-eaten Prouerbe is verified which sayes One mans meate is another mans poyson For if he should take it downe he would thinke it woulde breede more Hornes within him such is the strange propertie of inuincible Ielousie that is stronger than the great Spanish Armado in Eightie eight Next the Sunne enters into Aquarius and then there will bee good dooings for Water-men many wanton meetings at Brandford fresh-water Voyages to Blacke-wall and Greenewich reuelling and domineering among amiable Lads and young Wenches ouer the water but that which I finde most lamentable in this watry Signe Aquarius and most to be feared of all those that loue valiant Licour is the single-sole disposition of Brewers that will put to much Thames in their Beere and I feare mee make it hop but of one legge and that so lamely too that a little thing will make it hoppe quite into the Thames againe and because Ale-brewers and they are Brothers it is as much to bee doubted on the other side that each Ale-brewer will play the Iewe of Malta and put but a little Malt in the Ale so I hope there will bee