God in the concern of thy soul in his own word in thy own language and also to be able to use any choice form of prayer suitable to your condition and so powerful to move your affections and draw forth the desires of your hearts toward God tho beyond your ability to compose But if you cannot learn to read or in the mean time till you can you are not without help for you may get some honest godly friend or neighbour to read over a prayer to you so long till you have learnt it that you can say it your self But then you must take heed that this saying over one form turn not to plain formality that you should think as a child that having said over the words you have prayed tho your heart spoke not to God and so look on a prayer as a charm as if God was bound by those words in general to shew his goodness to you when your heart has not made one request or petition to God that is you have uttered words but had no desires This is an usual mistake and dangerous error so that in using forms of prayer your care must be to keep your heart to the duty earnestly desiring with your heart what you request with your lips But tho you have none of these outward helps so that you can neither read nor are furnished with a memory able to keep a form of words in mind yet know that the nature of the duty is such that these wants will no way excuse you Neither should you suffer this want to trouble you if you are willing and desirous to pray much less should you suffer it to discourage you and hinder you from duty and keep you from God because you cannot say over a form of prayer For consider forms are but words but prayer indeed is the speaking of the heart to God whether there be voice heard or words utter'd or not and without the heart both the best composed form and the greatest ability to utter words readily in extemporary free prayer are utterly to no purpose And if from thy heart thou speakest to God humbly reverently with understanding as sensible of thy wants sincerely as by faith depending on him thro Christ thou needst not be troubled for want of well placed words for God wants not words but knows the language of the heart and spirit Rom. 8.27 he is the God of the spirits of all flesh Numb 27.16 'T is true indeed that we want words to express the desires of our souls and to quicken our affections especially when praying with others But when marriage has made you no longer two but one flesh and your interest and desires should be one and the same that your prayers may not be hindred tho the words are not so well placed as may recommend to men yet from a sincere and united heart they may recommend both to God And to remove that bashfulness and being ashamed of words in one anothers hearing remember 't is not to approve your gifts and parts to each other but to approve both your hearts to God so that the fear of this want should not discourage and so keep you keep you strangers from God Consider then the good things you have and enjoy and be thankful Remember 't is fit to beg of God the continuance of them Consider what evil things you either fear or already suffer and beg the Lord to deliver And if there be any thing in particular that either of you want or desire this should be made known to the other that praying together you may join in that one thing and pray one for another as well as one with another And if you are indeed truly sensible of your wants and have an heart to go unto God you have a God to go to who will help your infirmities even he who made mans mouth he will put words in your mouths and teach you what to say so that you shall not want words for supplication and thanksgiving to make your requests known unto God And when you come thus to God with a sincere humble devout soul in the name and mediation of Jesus Christ this is prayer indeed to which all forms whether set or extemporary where such an heart is wanting are no way to be compared This is the language of the soul the heart poured out to God in prayer Adv. 4. The fourth advice I give you is to read the Scriptures together the word of God 'T is the great comfort and help of your souls and a blessed advantage of our Nation and the present time that we may and that thereby we may have in our own Houses that word promise and Gospel wherein Christ and thro him life and immortality and salvation is made known Search the Scriptures for therein ye think you have eternal life Jo. 5.39 So search that the word of Christ may dwell richly in you in all knowledge and Spiritual understanding Col. 3.16 Therein is abundance of hid treasure the unsearchable riches of Christ Something of this should be read every day Reading the Scripture should accompany Prayer at least in the evenings And let this practice be kept as a constant custome unless some extraordinary providence as sickness or the like hinder it If you begin this at first it will with more ease be continued till duty becomes delight and having tasted the sweetness and found the advantage you will look for it and think it as necessary as food or sleep Job 23.12 And to this I add this further advice that you read often good sound and plaine books of practical Godlyness That is at such times as the business of your calling or trade does admitt and tell each other of what good books you have read and what good you have received by them But especially on the Lords day in the vacancy of publick ordinances when you are not at Church then should you read and not only read but also encourage one another in an holy practice of such good things as the Scripture teaches and other good books set before you according to the holy Scripture Remember that if the husband cannot read and has a wife that can to account her worthy of double honour and if possible of double love on that account But let that wife beware she be not puffed up to despise her husband but know that she may yet learn of him as in respect of Judgment and understanding 1 Cor. 14.35 She must not think her self his teacher nor usurp authority over him 1 Tim. 2.12 tho' in this particular a meet helper and great advantage to him So also if the wife cannot read and has an husband that can let her prize him the more on that account as a greater treasure with whom she may have the comfort of a Christian conversation according to knowledg and living together as heirs of the grace of life 1 Pet. 3.7 If neither can read then you had need be more diligent
to spend such times of leisure in holy and enlivening discourses considering each others estate as in the respect of your Souls and call on one another that both together may call on the Lord. And if neither can read it is further advisable that you endeavour to get acquaintance and familiarity with some godly Christian neighbour that can read whither you may often go and spend the evenings especially before Children come on to hinder not to wast time as the worldly custome is to talk of news you little understand or of the affaires of the town or parish that little or nothing concern you but to desire them to read some portion of the Scripture or other good book to help you in the great concern of your Souls Or if your business in the world be such as admits of taking prentices or Servants labour to have such as can read they may on that account be of more advantage to the family then their bodily labour And this I alwayes look upon as duty that if Servants cannot read you endeavour that they may be taught and if they can read 't is your duty to keep them to reading at fit times and 't is prudence so to do as it is profitable to your selves and family I shall conclude these two last advices with a caution which I hinted before that you be not ashamed of weakness and inability in private before each other either in respect of reading or praying I mean not to neglect these private duties because you think you cannot do them well enough therefore do not do them at all because one shall not take notice how weak or ignorant the other is This oftentimes is a snare and great occasion of neglect and if not carefully avoided may make all the advices here offered to be to no purpose if you suffer this sinful bashfulness to hinder the beginning or setting about the work till you think your selves better fitted and more able Satan and your own evil hearts will be ready to suggest this often as a means to promote delay and so 't is made too often a continual hindrance But to prevent this if possible I propose these Considerations 1. First consider that marriage having now made you one flesh there is no reason to be ashamed of doing your duty tho' you perform it but weakly because you ought in Justice to think that so near a relation as part of your self will not despise but rather pitty and help as one flesh And as they ought will cover with the robe of love the infirmities that possibly may be discovered Because now that which is the shame or disgrace of one reflects on the other and so becomes the disgrace of both and for one to despise the other is to dishonour themselves and none ever yet so hated his owne flesh Two members of the same body may be touched with grief for the weakness of each other but not with shame but rather help and beare the more of the burden if either be weake so the poor beasts drawing in the same yoke are not ashamed to help tho' not so strong as their fellow So tho' thou art sensible that thou canst not do as thou wouldest yet do this duty as well as thou canst and be not ashamed for 't is thy duty 2. Secondly consider what great folly it is to pretend to be ashamed to do thy duty because thou canst do it but weakly and therefore to leave it undone when thou art not ashamed of thy sin in neglecting such plain and necessary duties which tend so much to the glory of God thy interest in Christ for thy Souls good and are so cheif a part of Christian love to thy yoke-fellow Let Conscience tell thee which is worst to do duty willingly and sincerely tho' weakly or to let it alone undone Sure that is shame indeed 3. Consider that it is only want of use and exercise in this duty that makes you bashful and therefore you are loath to begin but if you will begin and master those first reluctancies you will find that practice will make you dayly both bolder and abler 4. This pretended shame and bashfulness will be a continual hindrance till you begin This will make you draw back when convinced of duty and Satan will hold this argument fast and use it long in the war against thy Soul And when there is nothing else to hinder but shame if ashamed to day the same argument will hold to morrow and the like the next day and so on as a continual pretence for neglect till you begin but then no longer For if once you have begun shame is broken and troubles you no more or at least but weakly Now consider every one has a beginning and beginnings in all are usually weak in respect of after improvements and performances Be not then longer ashamed to begin 't is God commands the necessities of both your Sou's require Christ has prepared the way Heb. 10.19 Therefore put on boldness and you will grow more able and find more comfort Adv. 5. The fifth advice I give is that you sanctifie the Sabbath the Lords day joyne together in this at the first and take the more diligent heed to do this because you cannot but observe that it is generally too much neglected notwithstanding that plain command of God Ex. 20.8 Therefore as God has set that day apart from others for himself and commanded you to do so also do you set that day apart to be spent by you in the Spiritual business of God and your Souls And if you know that either have neglected before marriage then you have the more need to deal faithfully in warning one another and telling each other plainly of the Sin in that particular especially if you have been the occasion to one another of neglecting the Sabbath This too often is the Sin of people of a mean or low condition tho' not of those only that make their wooing visits appoint such meetings for idle walks mixt with folly and prophane discourse or idle chatt on that day An ill beginning and possibly may be the cause in great measure of so many unlucky marriages which afterwards go on in ungodly living and tend to increase of misery If this then has been your case you have the more need to bring one another to a sense of that sin and to a speedy change and newness of life when you have been the occasion of ensnaring each other in so great an evil Wherefore spend not your first Sabbath in idle and needless visits to see new cousins and new neighbours Neither spend that nor any other Sabbath at home in sloth and folly under pretence of reading a chapter But go both together to Church to the ordinances and publick assembly of Gods people and never neglect as the manner of too many is Heb. 10.25 unless hindred by some extraordinary providence And when you are returned home from the Ordinances spend
your time religiously in reading some portion of the Scripture or other good book Or talking together of what you have heard read or preached in the publick how it concerns or may concern either of you and perswade and encourage one another to an holy and serious praetice conclude as you begin the day with prayer And so comfort your selves together and edisie one another 1 Thes 5.11 And by no means make it your custome to wander abroad on the Sabbath evenings unless it be to some Religious neighbours that mind the things of God and keep up some good duty as reading or repeating of Sermons or the like And learn of such how to governe your family in the fear of the Lord as every good man should Josh 24.15 Or else on good and warrantable accounts you may go and carry some good book to a neighbour that cannot read And read to them and their family for their Souls good and comfort Or else in the same Spiritual manner visit such as can read but do not who you may justly doubt are careless of their Souls And buy a book for that purpose so may you do good both to your selves and them Or if you cannot read not find a neighbour family to joyne with that usually does so spend the Sabbath labour to procure one that can read to go along with you in those Spiritual errands before mentioned Or if as Gods providence calls you visit â—â—â—h as are sick a thing usual on the Sabbath day and not to be discommended yet be not as idle lookers on only with Complement and how do you do but bring unto them some Spiritual present from the Church from Gods house some word of exhortation or comfort or instruction as they may need And supposing there be no elder grave and serious person that will speak as a Christian do you speak as becomes Christs servant for their Souls good and discharge of your own Conscience O if you have but an heart towards God how many wayes have you to do good for your selves and others and to spend that day in Religion and Piety the exercises of Charity works of Mercy and holy love A joy and comfort that the ignorant dark world are strangers to Adv. 6. One further advice I give in the sixth and last place and that is that you admonish and stir up one another to the Solemn and serious coming to the Lords Table there to receive together the Holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper thereby to renew your vow in Baptisim on your entrance on your changed condition in the married state Therefore take the first opportunity after you are married and help each other before to prepare for it You are now become one discover therefore freely the state of your Soules to each other your thoughts and knowledg in this matter your hopes your doubts and fears and pray for one another and direct and assist each other to understand and to do as God in his word requires and promise together to watch over one another in the love and fear of the Lord and to help each other to walk answerably to the Covenant that being joyned to each other you may both be united to Christ one with him and he with you But especially if neither have receiv'd the Sacrament as 't is too often the sinful neglect of young people forgetting their Baptismal vow and covenant of their youth 't is then more necessary to call on one another and a great token of true love to labour to bring each others Soul under the bond of the covenant To see the Sinfulness of their neglect and make one another sensible of it and hasten that it may no longer continue Yet beware that you come not slightly and carelessly to attend there and by mistake take the Sacrament for a ceremony Custom fashion in Religion or you know not what and so come ignorantly and without faith and so not only unprofitably but to your danger But help each other to consider what the Sacrament is why appointed and how useful to you in every condition Learn to know that it was appointed by Christ himself as a solemn remembrance of what he has done and suffered for the Redemtion of mankind and to be as a Seale of confirmation to all true believers of their share and portion and interest in Christ as indeed given to them according to the Covenant And on our part the Seal of renewing our Resolutions of accepting of Christ and giving up our selves to God according to the Covenant of God in his Grace and Mercy as we promised or was promised for us at our Baptism so we come to receive Gods renewed promises and to renew our owne And so it becomes thro' Gods grace a means of stirring up all Christian graces in us and of keeping down the power of Sin by the Spirit of Christ according to the promise of God and Divine assistance And this it is indeed to all that come sincerely and in earnest desiring to be and to continue true members of Christs Body united unto him and continuing in the Communion of Saints in stedfast Faith and holy obedience and joyful hope thankful love Come then together as fellow heirs of the same grace and renew your Baptismal vow and engagement with knowledg and understanding thankfully and sincerely accepting of and receiving Christ as offered to your Souls by God the Father in the Gospel believing the whole word of God and resolvedly and thankfully giving up your selves to God thro' Christ Heartily and sincerely consenting to the covenant to be Gods people and to take him for your God his Son for your Saviour his Spirit for your Guide and Sanctifier his Word for your Direction his Promises for your Comfort Hope and Trust Renouncing all other the devil and his workes the world and its vanities the flesh and its lusts that in heart and practice you may so live as the Gospel teaches in comfortable expectation of the Gospel-promises thro' Christ For further help in this matter read those Chapters which contain the institution as 1 Cor. 11.23 Lu. 22. Math. 26. And such Books of that subject as you can have as Mr. Glanvil on the Sacrament The Key of Knowledg short and plain The whole duty of Man Sunday 3d. Some one of these read together and talk together and enquire of each others Souls welfare of knowledg saith repentance charity and resolution of holy obedience by renewed life in the married estate giving up your selves to God thro' Christ and promise this to each other and both to God And if you have never been at the Sacrament then after such private preparation go together to your minister whom Gods providence has set over you to watch for your souls and desire his help in setling the case of your souls for increase of knowledg strengthening of faith quickening repentance and directing your practice in every good thing And so receive to the renewing of your
to each others soul and to help in the way of salvation is that which becomes Christians and not at all shortens but rather increases and perfects kindness and good nature And this is indeed marrying in the Lord as 1 Cor. 7.39 Therefore receive one another to the glory of God as Christ received us Rom. 15.7 And look on that providence that brings you together as order'd by the Lord. A prudent wife is from the Lord saith Solomon Prov. 19.14 And we may add a prudent husband A religious and good husband or wife is from the Lord his provision or gift of his providing whereas houses and riches lands and inheritances Joyntures and Portions are the gifts of Fathers provisions of men and as such they may decay or be lost but the gifts of the Lord will abide for good and such a gift by Gods grace you may be to each other Resolve then and endeavour at first to put forward and encourage one another to love and good works as such as are come together and appointed by Gods good providence in a particular manner to be helps to build up one another in your most holy faith and to keep one another in the love of God that you may together comfortably expect the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life Jude 20 21. If this be the duty of all Christian friends much more then is it the duty of such as are joined so near in the Covenant of the Lord a Covenant of love and unity so near an union that in the opinion of St. Paul it resembles and may be compared to that love between Christ and his Church as in that similitude before offered to consideration Eph. 5.25 Adv. 2. Secondly I advise That having resolved which I hope you will do put those good resolutions in practice Do not think that it is enough to approve and purpose but set about the work in earnest and that immediately setting your selves at first to live together in Gods way the way of Religion that you may always so continue And let your daily conversation be in the Lord abiding with him according to the rule of the Gospel perswading each other always to do that which is of good report and as becomes the servants of God These things are general but the practice consists in particulars and therefore to those particulars I proceed Adv. 3. In the third place I advise you to pray together daily speak unto God call upon God for his favour and blessings Begin this course as soon as you come together Rising in the morning remember each other of prayers and so with united hearts direct your prayer unto God Psal 5.3 So likewise every evening before you go to bed the seasons God people used Psal 55.16 17. This is the practice of all that are Godly Psal 32.6 so often commanded and commended in the Scripture that I think there needs no more to perswade you that it is your duty Those words of our Saviour Mat. 26.41 watch and pray or those of St. Paul pray without ceasing 1 Thes 5.17 are command enough to all that believe the Scripture to be the word of God These general precepts contain your duty in particular for what God commands all he commands every one and those words of St. Peter 1 Pet. 3.7 that your prayers be not hindred suppose praying to be both the duty and practice of married people And if there had been no command to make prayer your duty yet reason will advise you to it as your interest since God is pleased to give you leave I therefore advise you to pray as one of the best things you can do for one another whether for soul or body Because all that good you or your friends wish or desire for you is from God his gift his blessing without which all your own labour is in vain as is plain from the whole 127th Psalm Except the Lord build the house their labour is but lost that build it It in vain to rise up early to sit up late and to eat the bread of carefulness Whatsoever business you go about whatsoever hopes of comfort in each other you may propose whatsoever designs you may have of thriving in the world together without Gods blessing all will be in vain In vain are all those seeming wishes of Joy from your friends unless the Lord say Amen If you begin not thus and at first ask Gods blessing by prayer how can you expect it Nay you hinder your selves of that good your friends desire for you and you seem to desire for your selves until you seek it at the hand of God by prayer But if you will set your selves at first to seek Gods blessing by praying together there are promises in the Scripture sufficient to encourage you to hope such as these Those that seek me early shall find me Prov. 8.17 Ask and it shall be given you Mat. 7.7 If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven Mat. 18.19 What should you learn then from these Scriptures but that you agree betimes to pray together and with united hearts to go to God and ask in hope O that I could perswade you to receive this advice and heartily engage you to call upon God that the Lord may be with you and bestow his blessings upon you and yours What can hinder you from this great duty and priviledge I know nothing that can be said against this advice but by way of excuse some will talk of their weakness and not being able But this is for the most part but a trifling pretence which Satan teaches the unwilling in heart to plead For I am fully perswaded that God requires nothing of his creatures but what he knows they are able to perform with his grace in using the means he has afforded and so it will appear in this particular if you consider the helps you have and the nature of the duty as reason and conscience must judg And first in respect of helps If you have not been accustomed to this but are strangers to God in that great and comfortable duty of Prayer you may ask how shall we call upon God that are ignorant and cannot make prayers Tho such thoughts savour of great ignorance yet I will answer in your own way That is you may make use of some form of prayer in some good books of which sort there are many printed among us If you have not a better nor fitter for your condition you may use such as I have added at the end of this book If you say you cannot read neither of you to help the other your case is to be pitied and then I advise you to try to learn I have known several of a willing mind who have learnt to read when grown in years The advantage is great to be able to see at any time the will of
Covenant and to be further strengthened in Grace But when I say go to your Minister I suppose him such an one as you may think a fit guide for your souls honest holy and a lover of God and the unseen Jesus and for his sake a lover of souls Such as the Apostle describes 1 Tim. 3. and 2 Tim. 2.15 Or if you cannot discern all this in him get one that is religious given to Piety But if so be that your habitation be where a sot or trifler has thrust himself into the Ministry or creept in by ways not allowed of in Gods word nor the Constitutions of the ostablished Church grounded upon that word who spends more time in idle company or vaine sports and fleshly pleasures then in the things of God that denyes in life the power of Godliness I cannot I dare not advise you to go to such an one nor to commit the care and conduct of your souls to him that regards not his own which may indeed more hinder then help your soul But as that Exhortation in the Book of Common-Prayer provides to some other discreet and learned Minister of Gods word That so by his assistance and Spiritual counsel you may come worthily and renew the Covenant And in all be sure that you be sincere in earnest and deale faithfully with God and your souls which will end in comfort and go far to cover many infirmities These are the Advices which I now give you and which I therefore give because chiefly necessary and therefore I heartily intreat you to Consider of them at first and enter betimes on the way of living together in the fear of God There are divers other things the duties of married persons which it is not my purpose to speak of now you may find them in several good books and at your leisure read them for the quickening of Christian love and holyness and increase of Grace And unless you set about these chief things betimes and betake your selves in earnest to God at first it will be in vain to set other duties before you But if it please the Lord to open your hearts to set on the practice of these things betimes I doubt not but you will find the comfort and advantage both of these things and others also as you may partly perceive in the next Section Sect. III. Shewing the advantages that new-married people have to begin to live together in a Religious course of life And the Benefits of such a beginning THat I may further prosecute these my wishes and advices I will here add something of perswasion that may incline you to take this way of holy love and life and joy by entring betimes on a course of religious living I shall therefore in this Section endeavour to shew that it is both what you may do with most advantage at first and also that in which you will find many advantages and comforts afterwards And therefore for encouragement I will make it plaine that this may be done at first with most ease 'T is not a dissicult task one would think at any time to begin to be good and do good It always carries its own encouragement and advantage along with it But we find by experience that corrupt nature is not so easily changed yet there are some particular advantages in beginning betimes and new-married people have some peculiar advantages at their first coming together in respect of doing this good work entring on this good way with more ease which favourable circumstances they are not like to find afterward if they let slip the present Opportunity Some of those advantages most easily observed are such as these 1. The first advantage is the change of your condition for however it has been with you before in respect of life and conversation yet upon marriage you are put upon a change as to the manner of life and that is like being come to a turning way you may as easily go to the right hand as to the left if you are but willing If you have been seasoned with Grace before marriage no doubt but the way of God will be more easily turned to But if you have not yet now on your change you have a new choice and being to begin the practice of your living together you may as easily begin in a religious and holy as in a prosane and irreligious way you are not yet prejudiced by former carelesness in that manner of life which is but now beginning But if you now at first neglect you loose the present advantage and prejudice your selves against the good way of the Lord and every dayes neglect or evil practice will make the work seem harder to be set about 2. The second advantage is that at first it is most easy to perswade one another the affections are then most yeilding and complyant So that Then you may have the greatest hopes to prevaile one with the other and so engage together in a holy and religious life Especially if one have been accustomed to the way of true Godliness before this may now the more easily prevail with the other to joyn in the good and the right way The influences of the first love are great and new-married people are prepared for the most part to suit themselves to each others tempers and inclinations and do most easily yeild to each others defires as in promising to leave off something that is offensive to the other or to do something that is pleasing And we are sensible how strong and prevailing the perswasions of new-married people are to each other in that they work great changes upon some Now the perswading to follow such advices as these being to those things that are undeniably good must necessarily meet with the less opposition when the husband stirs up the wife or the wife the husband to that which is for the souls good and comfortable to it in this present life 3. A third advantage you have at your first coming together is that some such thing is expected in doing of this you do what is looked for at your hands In a Country where the Gospel is professed new kindred friends and neighbours will be enquiring as to matter of Religion and something they will expect tho' they are not in earnest with it themselves and will make some Judgment of your life hereafter by the manner of your first beginning to live together Your partner and yoke-fellow will be looking for this and if bred up Religiously will think it strange that the way of Religion should not continue and although not bred up so yet the man will expect that the woman be well inclined and tho' he regards not Religion himself will expect that she should at some time speak something of that Nature And the woman that regards her husband in respect of his Knowledg will look that he should help and assist her in Spiritual things and that he by this should give the first testimony of true
divine help Which never fails such a course of life Those that seek me early shall find me Prov. 8.17 And the sooner this is obtained the better it will be for you for in this is union to Christ and thro' him to God and if you abide in this Spiritual love to one another you abide also in the love of God and are under the comforts of his promises of blessing so tho' there may be troubles losses disquiets as to outward things yet herein is the hope and assurance of being within the everlasting Covenant of God ordered in all things and sure There are also promises of outward prosperity to encourage to this Godliness has the promise of the life that now is as well as of that which is to come 1 Tim. 4.8 The Tabernacle of the upright shall flourish Prov. 14.11 By acquaintance with God peace and good are obtained Job 22.21 He gives all things needful and makes not his gifts sorrowful His blessing maketh rich and he adds no sorrow with it Prov. 10.22 Entertain him and he will preserve you Remember him and think upon his name and your name shall be written in his book of remembrance Mal. 3.16 But those that will not entertain God but say to him depart from us and what can the Almighty do for us Job 22.17 It is vaine to serve God and what profit is there that we have kept his ordinances Mal. 3.14 To what purpose is it to pray or read or look to keeping of the Sabbath to hinder us in our business and take up our spare time that we shall have none for pleasure and recreation they are well that have time for these things they may do them thus they call the proud happy Such triflers may if they please at their peril enjoy the delights of the flesh and the hony moone of carnal earthly pleasures may slourish for a time chearing their hearts in their youth and walking in the sight of their own eyes But all that time they are laying up a curse which shall one time or other spoile all their worldly delights their house shall spew them out and it self shall be overthrown with the curse Prov. 14.11 Which at last shall bring them to the King of Terrours who shall deliver them over to the just Judgment of the Almighty Then shall they know that there is a difference between the righteous and the wicked between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not Mal. 3.18 More benefits and Spiritual advantages might be shewed and indeed these Spiritual arguments are of greatest weight but those that are not sensible of the force of these will not be able to discern those of a finer and more Spiritual nature Therefore I will say no more on this Section only this Now is the time most fitting and so it offers it self as every way favoured with circumstances of advantage and gives hope of continuance and prosperous success if as soon as you come together these may be some of the first as they are really the best expressions of true love But if these advices are slighted now and the time slipt and put off Felix like till a more convenient opportunity 't is greatly to be feared that you will never find it And so it will appear in the following Section Sect. IV. Shewing the disadvantages that new-married people put themselves under by putting off and delaying to enter on a course of Religious living together at first THE entertaining of excuses in your family is a sign of an unwilling mind and if excuses prevail to put off longer you will find them real hindrances tho' the heart is convinced of the usefulness of such a course For if you only approve of it as fit and convenient but own it not as necessary your family will suppose you are not yet settled and therefore not prepared enough and you will think that hereafter you will set about it when all as you think hindrances are removed 'T is therefore fit to bring these excuses under the censure of Judgment and conscience and then I am perswaded you will find delaying the greatest hindrance and in setting about the work the Lord will so help that all those fancied hindrances will appear little or nothing But if you suffer your selves to delay and pretend to gain fitter time you will find that to be no advantage but the means of finding more arguments still to put off further till at last it come to a setled course of neglect and then will you slight all thoughts and purposes of piety altogether Those that will not suffer themselves to be made clean as soon as they know of their being dirty nor use the means to heal a wound as soon as they are sensible of their smart and danger they allow filth to harden and corruption to spread further and themselves become less able to suffer a cleansing or searching cure than they were when they first excused and neglected That therefore you may more plainly see the disadvantage of delaying by multiplying arguments for excuses and hindrance I shall shew this in particular 1. While you delay excusing your selves by hindrances consider that what you think to be hindrance at first may continue to be so alwaies as suppose on the new married State the hindrances are visiting or being visited new acquaintance among new kindred it will be the same on any change of dwelling New neighbours and new acquaintance so that this may be always And if you allow so much time necessary to be taken up in pretended civility and think you are thereupon excused and that therefore there is no time needful for real religion but because you allow so much time for complement with the world you have no time to be in earnest with God the very same excuses or those very like them will be hindrances as long as you live For other excuses will succeed on as good and it may be on better reasons As particularly you will think so much time has been spent in these visits that now all is little enough to recover your worldly business that you are cast behind in and when that is recovered then you will set about a religious life but before that comes something else uses to intervene to such excusers and they seldom come to the end of the line so as to have no new excuse But as delay breeds this disadvantage so pray consider 't is only the token of an unwilling mind and you are utterly without true excuse both to God and your own consciences for these visitants who give the first seeming ground of excuse do not use to accompany you to your chamber and observe your bed So that in the greatest of your straits if you have a willing mind you may begin to pray together and the bed side is no unfit altar for such a morning and evening Sacrifice 2. The delay at the beginning may be still continued by sickness in breeding and the