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A11050 Roome, for a messe of knaues Or, a selection, or a detection, or, a demonstration, or a manifestation. of foure slaues. Or, a conuiction, or a comiction, or, a combination, or a copulation of foure varlets. Or, a reperition, or a repetition. Or, a replication, or a recapitulation. of foure harlets. With a narration or a declaration, a relation or an explication, of a strange (but true) battell, fought in the little Isle (or worlde) of Man. Rowlands, Samuel, 1570?-1630? Knave of clubbes. 1610 (1610) STC 21315.2; ESTC S116162 13,229 40

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Humilytie so that all the shot past ouer their heades without any detriment Then they drew nere their enimy scirmiging with th●ir small shot which the Lord Virtuoso his party manly bore off with their Targets of proofe not yeelding one foot Ioyning Battails they fell to it pell mell with such fury that many were slaine many wounded and many taken Prisoners on both sides But the wicked weed that Sensuallity had sowed made the ground so slippery that Lord Virtuoso his company could not stand which Infidellety standingon the left side of Madam Cogitacions perceiuing inticed her to leane to Vicioso Apollyon● his party But true Faith on the right side counselled her to the contrary but al in vaine for she not onely fauoured Mounser Gogmagogo Vicioso but tooke part with him also All which Lord Virtuoso perceiuing in great discontent left the Feild for that time and Signior Gracioso commaunded a retreat to be sounded that hearing Doggodomado Viciosissimo his Army made a great showte and cryed follow follow for we shall all be Conquerers But the Lord Grace hauing recouered the intrenched Hill with Faith and Hope maintained the fight till Sunne-set Early in the morning by the breake of day worthy Signior Gracioso with a heauenly Oration perswaded his followers to a second incounter which Faith Hope no sooner heard but with a fresh courage they led foorth their Vangard aduancing their Banners in the name of Iesus and made a second and a suddaine assault the enemy being in their Tents At the charge whereof came thrice puisant Perseuerance to their aide with a mighty Hoast from the Lord Virtuoso which Signior Gracioso with Faith Hope perceiuing redoubled their courage and cryed Vertue and Victory The Enemy this hearing in all poast haste trussed vp their trinkets and in a disorderly order aswell as they could vpon such curtoll warning defended thēselues but most worthy Perseuerance perceiuing that tooke the aduantage and so wel behaued himselfe that day that he made his foes to flie before his face commaunding Constancy with his couragious company Plectrumaninims following close after that it reioyst my heart to see it Now Madam Cogitations seeing this vsherd by her olde seruant Goodwill secretly stole to hir Castle Acusation compeling her and meeting Lady Conscience at the Gate in great sorrow craued hir counsel how she might recouer Lord Virtuoso his fauour Marry quoth Conscience you must goe to Humillity and Repentance Magn● cum 〈◊〉 ●●rore So disguising hirself that she might passe the better vnknowne she met with Contrition who with Repentance brought her the next way to Humilities Tent which was plac't at the foot of the Hil fast by the intrenchment whome Humillity seeing a farre off made haste to meete and very louingly imbraced and kissed them Cogitations discouering all her intent intreated her best aid in her sute to Lord Virtuoso which he most willingly condiscended vnto and went with her to the Generals Pauilion and there with Repentance and Contrition falling downe flat before his Excellency confessed her amisse and most earnestly and heartely craued pardon which he most louingly graunting Remorse lifted her vp set her on her feet before him and most friendly communed with her In the meane while Perseuerance with Constancy so behaued themselues that Don Vitioso with al his whole rout was vndone and cleane ouerthrowne horse and foote when as the Diuell wood in rusheth a mad rogue one Caualero Desperatio with a Chariot for his Lord was so sore wounded that he could not ride and speedily conuayed him by a secret way out of the feild In this ouerthrow was taken Prisoners seauen Captaines of note or notorious Captaines viz. Enuy Wrath Couetousnes Pride Gluttony Letchery Sloth with a number of the Rascaldry among the rest were my foure compictious knaues you wot of who in hope they would change their coppies and in time mend their manners were banished the Island Spadado Mellancollico with Caine to the land of * signifieth barking Nodd bordering on sad Acheron there to picke a Sallet of Rue Wormewood Sorrell and Colloquintida Sanguinato cordato to Mount Etna bordering on burning Flegiton there to offer flesh and fuell to that neuer-ending fire Fustifurato Colerato to the Torrida Zona deuided frō the Mount by infectious Stix there to carbonado his Collops with the Canibals And that Flegmatico Diademono to the land of waste neere mourning Cocitus neuer to returne but vpon perpetual paine of the Poxe the Ghonorrhae with the grand consumption of the lungs and marrow And all this to stand firme irreuocable according to the law of the Medes and Percians Some were ransommed for others that were taken prisoners by the Enemy others committed to perpetuall imprisonment and some like Hammon were hanged for examples to others There were also ordained seauen special Officers for the good gouerment of this noble Isle of Man Microcosmus for preuention of future inuasions viz. 1. Prudence Lord Channcelor 2. Temperance Lord Treasurer 3. Iustice Earle Marshall 4. Perseuerance Leiftenant Generall 5. Grace Lord Warden of the cinque ports 6. Reason cheefe Secretary 7. Memory M. of Requests and Recorder As they were in consultation about the future good of this litle cōmon weale election of inferior Officers I heard one knocke hard and hastely at the Councell-chamberdore And with that I wak't Now concerning Signiorissimo Virtuoso his parly with Madonna Cogitatio the articles of agreement the marriage her relapse and second reconcilement with the secret and subtile return of your foure irreligious Sadduces to foure hypocriticall Pharesies will require an other discourse and you shall heare more when our old Post-maister Morpheus returnes and that I see your strong stomacks do well digest these my homely but I hope wholesome cates crauing pardon for what is amisse and if I may vnderstand what is my error in this I will mend it in the next for the plain truth is I am but one of Dame Reasons sculs as may appeare by my cookery and cloathing But yet I haue seene good worke in my daies I cantel you To the high mighty Mounsier Morpheus brother to Oberon King of Fayries Cosin ierman to Mercury Squire of the body to Madam Cogitations Leiftenant Generall of the cinque ports Domine Fac totum of all nocturnall negotiations in the Isle of Man THy deuoted suppliant Micro-cosmographer T. Goodwill who doth not onely but also admire thy mightinesse adore thy virtue and implore thine Excellence O thou Metamorphoser of mindes thou that art a releaser of Captiues and a Captiuer of the released a comforter of the comfortles a tormenter of tormenters a Messenger to the good of gladnes to the bad of sadnes a iust Iudge twixt high and low the poore mans wealth and the rich mans woe a Prophet of the night to the bad a false to the good a right the balme of greefe and the bane of spite Thine Excellence I implore that thou wilt vouchsafe thy poore Goodwill a deepe carowse of thy Nectar which may infuse a dreaming reuelation into my Piamater that so I may by way of prophesie foreshew what will follow of these aforesaid foure knaues exiled for the testimony of a bad conscience I cannot thinke that they are dead for they are ingendred of immortal seed but they are Metamorphosed into some other shapes the better to deceiue and my spirits are kindled with a driuine fire thou must not deny me as thou tendrest the fauour of my good Lady Cogitations in whose name I charge thee nay more I coniure thee marke what I say with Bell Booke and Candle that thou satisfie this my request least in my furye I turne Renegado write a most lewd Ballad against thee and that to some filthy tune to thy no small dishonor but if thine Excellence vouchsafe to answere mine expectation I vowe by the life of Pharo to offer vpon thine Alter viz a Feather-bed and a Downe-pillowe a Heccatomb of verses to be hung vp in thy Temple viz. A sweete Chamber without fleas in memoriall of thy perpetuall prayses and when I awake I 'le wash my braines in Madera and sing Madrigals in praise of thy person and power HAuing fraught this my little Fleeboat with such marchandise as I could meete with in the Isle I found a prosperous wind in the East-south-East which made meset sail directing my conrse to the cape Bona Speranza whichafter a few daies I had a far off discouered but before I could recouer the point I was chekt with a northerly winde which perforce draue me vpon the coast of the Canaries I le of Dogs where comming to an anchor I was boarded by a couple of copesmates called Zoilus and Momus that haue Authority there to search strangers who dealt strangely with me indeed but it was my pride to be pryed into by them being forewarnd by many worthy men whose card and compas I am not worthy to catty after them of their paltry dealing A second sort that assaulted me was a cock-boat laden with Coxecombes that being not able to apprehend would reprehend whome after I had with a volly of small shot well pelted I pardoned for alas they did they knew not what The third sort were a rapsedy of Raskals that would frowne or fauor as they sawe others affected these detracting knaues would come off with their buts ifs and ands but and if I liue I will threaten nobody but I know what I will doe The last were a company of the last edition that tooke occasion to poue a confiscation of my Ship and goods producing against me such a chapter such a verse against my commodities of prophane iesting c. Assyrians c. These Martinists like Salomons fooles Pro 26. c Esay 5. they would faine be singuler and single they are and so I left them For Contempt and scorne are wits infirmitie Wherewith disdaine and scoffes keepes company Non mare transisset pauidus si nauta fuisset FJNIS
Roome FOR A MESSE of Knaues OR A Selection or a Detection OR A Demonstration or a Manifestation of foure Slaues OR A Conuiction or a Comiction OR A Combination or a Copulation of foure Varlets OR A Reperition or a Repetition OR A Replication or a Recapitulation of foure Harlets With a Narration or a Declaration a Relation or an Explication of a strange but true battell fought in the little Isle or Worlde of Man Ridentem dicere verum quid vetat London printed for N. F. and are to be sold at the signe of the Talbot at the West end of Paules 1610. To the Reader HAuing written this course discourse or rather discouery I bethought my selfe that it would not be amisse according to the lawdable custome of pamphletters to Dedicate the same how vnpolished soeuer vnto some good patron or other for shelter when straict it came to my minde that this fashoning of dedicating bookes and so to place the name of some Grand Signeor in the forefront of an Epistle was for all the world like a Vintner who at the first setting vp of his Trade yea and all his life after hangs vp the glorious spangled Iuey-bush to draw good fellowes to the tasting of his Outlandish Liquors which made me to dislike this fashion of To the Right Honorable or so determined To leaue it to the Printer without ane badge at all When sodainly it came againe to my remembrance how difficult a matter it was now in these duble dealing daies to seeme singuler or selfe conceipted in any course the whold misliking such fellowes no lesse then your Monopolyters being men almost of the same kinde and condition and therefore I must needs insanire cum alijs and dedicated it must be But to whome marry quoth I to my selfe to some great man at least for it s in vse now to haue great Godfathers though we be neuer so meane c. I but quoth my selfe it may be he will hould it too base S●biac for his Honor to patronize and vnhappily one or other of his followers neare to him may finde himselfe agreeued c. Then quoth I Ile to some Doctor surely no quoth my selfe for he in his great wisdome great learning may ouer shoote the marke or thinking it not fitting his grauely or so may Why then may it not be then to some Knight oh by no meanes quoth I for he peraduenture would take the matter in dudgion to haue a discouery of Knaues offered vnto him were it but for the Affinity of the names peraduenture if he were one of those trauailing Ks. that knows more Languages then one standing vpon the Etimology of the word being deriued from the Dutch * Knact in Duch is a Knaue Knact would conceiue Iay med at the Knight also whereunto before God and the Country I plead not guilty and in a fume especially if he were at his Tabac●o would bid me be packing and take my knaues with me or else and then sweares heele c. Put case I offer it to some great Lawyer quoth I in no case quoth my selfe for if he should alter the case by misprision and with a writ of the Case case or cage you vp in the Counter then you were in a wise Case were you not How lik'st a Phisition then quoth I mary I pray God I may neuer haue neede of them quoth my selfe Now by Mars I le to some Mounser Capetaino Then by V●nus thou art madd quoth my selfe for the peace being now concluded in the Lowe Countries he in a malcontent humor mistaking thy meaning may peanter plaine stabbe thee or so Why then quoth I what woodst haue me doe for sooth gud sir quoth my selfe get you to some rich Cittezen that hath broke off his Trade and so Now I see th' art shallow quoth I for thinkest thou that he which breakes with h●s company and creditors and so will not breake with thee No I know a bette way then that I le alter the case and Gender too and take a Lady or some great Gentlewoman that hath a heart as bigg as a Ladyes Nay that 's as worse quoth my selfe for ten to one she would rather entertaine one or all thy Knaues then thy booke of their discouery and so reward thee with one of their cast liueryes and so Now would I were a Saint if I know to whome then I am in doubt quoth my selfe that some one of these 4. Knaues thou writst of came behinde thee in thy dreaming sleepe and hath clapt thee on the coxcombe and cract thy brainpan but now I thinke on t I le helpe thee to 4 C. for thy 4 K. to whome thou maist commend them viz the Court the Campe the Cittie and the Country You shot well at Rouers quoth I but I know an other C worth all your C. I le stand too 't such a C. she is that she may be wife to the greatest Earle in Europe a C of all C. a tresnoble command●ng conquering C a couragious kinde C. And where she affecteth not a full fell furious and fiery foe is shee God send me from her frowne then quoth my selfe what Angell deuill what Ianus I pray thee mought she be mary quoth I the Epitome of hir great name is Signiora Madonna Cogitatione Reina del Microsmo O quoth my selfe my aude metris A ken hur so wee le sir A shus a blithe Lasse a gudfeth Sir if she be plezd And a o fell feend a she froune a foule eele au hur wezan shas oft gard me to grit Sir Well quoth I if I finde her no worse then I left her I care not I pray thee Sira where lefst her quoth my selfe forsooth I left her where they shall finde her that reads on my Booke except in her Husbands absence she be gon to visit her Neece Venus or stepdame Luna which I know his Honor will not be well pleasd with when he coms home but be it as it may if she be gon abroad I wil stay til her returne or leaue it intrust with some frtend neere about her To the Right VVorshipfull my especiall good friend Sir Iohn Lebon Knight SIr hauing long requested after a Gentlwoman of good note one Mistris Cogitations I was aduisd by an extrauagant fellow that Pretended to know much to goe to the signe of the parret in lither lane for there he saide she had a Chamber thither I went and found one of that name indeed to whome I tendred this little remembrance of my good will and seruice She whose accouterment countenance and conditions was fitly resembled by her Signe had scarse read my Title but she began to tattle and after a scornfull and malcontent manner threw my booke at me and bade me be packing and take the Knaues with me Being thus mistaken and studying what course was best to be taken I was ouertaken by a good fellow of my acquaintance well knowne to your Worship hard by the Rose and