able to bring my Fingers together to hold them fast yet under all these Hardships the Lord kept me from any Sickness or such Weakness as to disenable me from Travelling when they put us upon it My Indian Mistress was one that had been bred by the English at Black point and now Married to a Canada Indian turned Papist and she would say That had the English been as careful to instruct her in our Religion as the French were to instruct her in theirs she might have been of our Religion and she would say That God delivered us into their Hands to punish us for our Sins And This I knew was true as to my self And as I desired to consider of all my Sins for which the Lord did punish me so this Lay very heavy upon my Spirit many a Time that I had Left the Publick Worship and Ordinances of God where I formerly Lived viz. at Beverley to Remove to the North part of Casco-Bay where there was no Church or Minister of the Gospel and this we did for large Accommodations in the World thereby Exposing our Children to be bred Ignorantly like Indians and our selves to forget what we had been formerly instructed in and so we turned our Backs upon Gods Ordinances to get this Worlds Goods But now God hath stripped me of these things also so that I must Justify the Lord in all that has befallen me and acknowledge that He hath punished me less than my Iniquities deserved I was now Bereaved of Husband Children Friends Neighbours House Estate Bread Cloaths or Lodging suitable and my very Life did hang daily in Doubt being continually in danger of being killed by the Indians or pined to Death with Famine or tired to Death with hard Travelling or pinched with Cold till I dyed in the Winter season I was so amazed with many Troubles and hurried in my Spirit from one Exercise 〈◊〉 â—â—other how to preserve my self in daâ—â—â—â— and supply my sâ—lt in the want that was present that I had not time or leisure so composedly to consider of the great Concernments of my Soul as I should have done neither had I any Bible or Good Book to look into or Christian Friend to be my Counsellor in these Distresses But I may say The Words of God which I had formerly heard or read many of them came oft into my mind and kept me from perishing in my Afflictions As when they threatned to Kill me many times I often thought of the words of our Saviour to Pilate Joh. 19.11 Thou couldest have no power at all against me except it were given thee from above I knew they had no power to kill me but what the Lord gave them and I had many times Hope that the Lord would not suffer them to slay me but deliver me out of their Hands and in His Time I hoped return me to my Country again When they told me that my Eldest Son was killed by the Indians I thought of that in Jer. 33.8 I will cleanse them from all their Iniquities whereby they have sinned against me and I will pardon all their Iniquities I hoped though the Enemy had barbarously killed his Body yet that the Lord had Pardoned his Sins and that his Soul was safe When I thought upon my many Troubles I thought of Jobs complaint chap. 14 16 17. Thou numbrest my steps and watchest over my Sin my Transgression is sealed up in a Bag and thou sowest up my Iniquity This was for my Humiliation and put me upon Prayer to God for His Pardoning Mercy in Christ and I thought upon Davids complaint Psalm 13.1 2 and used it in my Prayers to the Lord How Long wilt thou forget me O Lord for ever How long wilt thou hide thy face from me How long shall I take counsel in my Soul having sorrow in my Heart How long shall my Enemy be Exalted over me I sometimes bemoaned my self as Job chap. 19.9 10. He hath stripped me of my Glory and taken my Crown from my Head He hath destroyed me on every side and I am gone and my Hope hath he removed like a Tree Yet sometimes Encouraged from Job 22.27 Thou shalt make thy Prayer to him and He shall hear thee and thou shalt pay thy Vows I made my Vows to the Lord that I would give up my self to Him if He would accept me in Jesus Christ and pardon my Sins and I desired and endeavoured to Pay my Vows unto the Lord. I Pray'd to Him Remember not against me the Sins of my Youth and I besought Him Judge me O God and plead my cause against an Ungodly Nation deliver me from the Deceitful and Unjust man Why go I mourning because of the Oppression of the Enemy And by many other Scriptures that were brought to my Remembrance was I instructed directed and comforted I Travelled over steep and hideous Mountains one while and another while over Swamps and Thickets of Fallen Trees lying one two three foot from the ground which I have stepped on from one to another nigh a thousand in a day carrying a great Burden on my Back Yet I dreaded going to Canada to the French for fear lest I should be overcome by them to yield to their Religion which I had Vowed unto God That I would not do But the Extremity of my Sufferings were such that at length I was willing to go to preserve my Life And after many weary Journeys through Frost and Snow we came to Canada about the middle of February 1690. and Travelling over the River my Master pitch'd his Wigwam in sight of some French Houses Westward of us and then sent me to those Houses to beg Victuals for them which I did and found the French very kind to me giving me Beef and Pork and Bread which I had been without near nine months before so that now I found a great Change as to Diet. But the Snow being knee deep and my Legs and Hams very sore I found it very tedious to Travel and my sores bled so that as I Travelled I might be Tracked by my Blood that I left behind me on the Snow I asked leave to stay all Night with the French when I went to beg again which my Master consented unto and sent me Eastward to Houses which were toward Quebeck though then I knew it not So having beggeâ— Provisions aâ— a French House and it being maâ— night after I was Reâ—reshâ—d my sâ—l and had Food to caâ—ry to the Inâ—iâ—â—s I sign sied as well as I could make the French Woman understand That I dâ—sirâ—d to stay by her Fire that Night Whereupon she laid a good Bed on the Floor and good Coverings for me and there I Lodged comfortably and the next Morninâ— when I had breakfasted with the Family and the men kind were gone abroad as I was about to go to my Indian Master the French Woman stept out and left me alone in her House and I then staid her Return to give her thanks
for her kindness and while I waited came in two men and one of them spake to me in English I am glad to see you Country woman This was exceedingly Reviving to hear the voice of an English man and upon Enquiry I found he was an English man taken at the North West Passage and the other was a French Ordinary Keeper After some Discourse he asked me to go with him to Quebeck which he told me was about four miles off I answered my Indian Master might kill me for it when I went back Then after some Discourse in French with his Fellow Traveller he said This French man Engaged that if I would go with them he would keep me from Returning to the Indians and I should be Ransomed and my French Hostess being now Returned in a doors perswaded me to go with 'em to Quebeck which I did and was conveyed unto the House of the Lord Intendant Monsieur Le Tonant who was Chief Judge and the Second to the Governour and I was kindly Entertained by the Lady and had French Cloaths given me with good Diet and Lodging was carried thence unto the Hospital where I was Physicked and Blooded and very courteously provided for And some time after my Indian Master and Mistrâ—ss coming for me the Lady Intendant paid a Ransome for me and I became her Servâ—nt And I must speak it to the Honour of the French they were exceeding kind to me at first even as kind as I could expect to find the English so that I wanted nothing for my Bodily Comfort which they could help me unto Here was a great and comfortable Change as to my Outward man in my Freedom from my former Hardships and Hard hearted Oppressors But here began a greater Snare and Trouble to my Soul and Danger to my Inward man For the Lady my Mistress the Nuns the Priests Friars and the rest set upon me with all the strength of Argument they could from Scripture as they interpreted it to perswade me to Turn Papist which they pressed with very much Zeal Love Intreaties and Promises if I would Turn to them and with many Threatnings and sometimes Hard Usages because I did not Turn to their Religion Yea sometimes the Papists because I would not Turn to them Threatned to send me to France and there I should be Burned because I would not Turn to them Then was I comforted from that in 2 Cor. 1.8 9 10. We were pressed out of measure above strength insomuch that we despaired even of Life but we had the sentence of Death in our selves that we should not trust in our selves but in God who raises the Dead who delivered us from so great a Death and doth deliver in whom we trust that He will yet deliver us I knew God was Able to deliver me as He did Paul and as He did the Three Children out of the Fiery Furnace and I believed He would either Deliver me from them or Fitt me for what He called me to suffer for His Sake and Name For their Praying to Angels they brought the History of the Angel that was sent to the Virgin Mary in the First of Luke I answered them from Rev. 19.10 and 22.9 They brought Exod 17.11 of Israels prevailing while Moses held up his Hands I told them we must come to God only by Christ Joh. 6 37 44. For Purgatory they brought Mat. 5.25 I told them To agree with God while here on Earth was to Agree with our Adversary in the way and if we did not we should be Cast into Hell and should not come out until we Paid the utmost Farthing which could never be paid But it s bootless for me a poor Woman to acquaint the World with what Arguments I used if I could now Remember them and many of them are slipt out of my memory I shall proceed to Relate what Trials I met with in these Things I was put upon it either to stand to the Religion I was brought up in and believed in my Conscience to be True or to Turn to another which I believed was not Right And I was kept from Turning by that Scripture Mat. 10.32 33. Whosoever shall confess me before men him will I confess before my Father which is in Heaven and whosoever denies me before men him also will I deny before my Father which is in Heaven I thought that if I should Deny the Truth and own their Religion I should Deny Christ Yet upon their perswasions I went to see and be present at their Worship sometimes but never to Receive their Sacrament And once when I was at their Worship that Scripture 2 Cor. 6.14 to the end came into my mind What Communion hath Light with Darkness What Concord hath Christ with Beâ—â—â—l What part hath he that believeth with an â—â—sidel and what Agreement hath the Temple of God with Idols Wherefore come out from among them and be ye Separate and touch not the Unclean Thing and I will Receive you and I will be a Father to you and you shall be my Sons and Daughters saith the Lord Almighty This Scripture was so strong upon my Spiâ—it that I thought I was out of my way to be present at their idâ—latrous Worship and I Resolved never to come unto it again But when the time drew nigh that I was to go again I was so Restless that Night that I could not sleep thinking what I should say to them when they urged me to go again and what I should Do. And so it was in the morning that a French woman of my Acquaintance told me if I would not be of Their Religion I did but mock at it to go to their Worship and therefore bid me That if I would not be of their Religion I should go no more I answered her That I would not be of their Religion and I would go no more to their Worship and accordingly I never went more and they did not force me to it I have had many Conflicts in my own Spirit fearing that I was not truely Converted unto God in Christ and that I had no Saving Interest in Christ I could not be of a False Religion to please men for it was against my Conscience And I was not fit to suffer for the True Religion and for Christ for I then feared I had no Interest in Him I was neither fit to Live nor fâ—â— to Dye and brought once to the very pit of Despair about what would become of my Soul In this Time I hâ—d gotten an English Bible and other Good Books by the Help of my Fellow Captives I Looked over the Scripture and settled on the Prayer of Jonah and those Words I said I am cast out of thy sight yet will I Look again towards thy Holy Temple I Resolved I would do as Jonah did And in the Meditation upon this Scripture the Lord was pleased by His Spirit to come into my Soul and so fill me with Ravishing Comfort that I cannot
Express it Then came to mind the History of the Transfiguring of Christ and Peters saying Math. 17.4 Lord It is Good for us to be here I thought it was Good for me to be here and I was so full of Comfort and Joy I even Wished I could be so alwayes and never sleep or else Dy in that Rapture of Joy and never Live to Sin any more against the Lord. Now I thought God was my God and my Sins were pardoned in Christ and now I thought I could Suffer for Christ yea Dye for Christ or do any thing for Him My Sins had been a Burden to me I desired to see all my Sins and to Repent of them all with all my Heart and of that Sin which had been especially a Burden to me namely That I Left the Publick Worship and Ordinances of God to go to Live in a Remote Place without the Publick Ministry depriving our selves our Children of so great a Benefit for our Souls and all this for Worldly advantages I found an Heart to Repent of them all and to lay hold of the Blood of Christ to cleanse me from them all I found much Comfort while I was among the French by the Opportunities I had sometimes to Read the Scriptures and other Good Books and Pray to the Lord in Secret and the Conference that some of us Captives had together about things of God and Prayer together sometimes especially with one that was in the same House with me Margaret Stilson Then was the Word of God precious to us and they that feared the LORD spake one to another of it as we had Opportunity And Coloned Tyng and Mr. Alden as they were permitted did speak to us to Confâ—â—m and Strengthen us in the wayes of the Lord. At length the French debatr'd our coming together for Religious Conference or other Duties And Word was sent us by Mr. Alden That this was one kind of Persecution that we must suffer for Christ These are some of the Scriptures which have been my Support and Comfort in the Affliction of my Captivity among the Papists That in Ezek. 16.6 8. I applyed unto my self and I desired to Enter into Covenant with God and to be His And I Prayed to the Lord and Hoped the Lord would Return me to my Country again That I might Enter into Covenant with Him among His People and Enjoy Communion with Him in His Churches and Publick Ordinances Which Prayers the Lord hath now heard and graciously Answered Praised be His Name The Lord Enable me to Live suitably unto His Mercy and to those Publick and Precious Priviledges which I now Enjoy So That in Ezek 11.16 17. was a Great Comfort unto me in my Captivity Although I have cast them far off among the Heathen yet will I be a little Sanctuary to them I will gather you from the People where you have been Scattered I found that God was a Little Sanctuary to me there and hoped that the Lord would bring me to the Country from whence I had been Scattered And the Lord hath heard the Prayer of the Destitute and not despised my Prayer but granted me the Desire of my Soul in bringing me to His House and my Relations again I often thought on the History of the man Born Blind of whom Christ when His Disciples asked Whether this man had Sinned or his Parents answered Neither this man nor his Parents but this was that the works of God might be made manifest in him So tho' I had deserved all this yet I knew not but one Reason of Gods bringing all these Afflictions and Miseries upon me and then Enabling me to bear them was That the Works of God might be made manifest And in my Great Distress I was Revived by that in Psal 118.17 18. I shall not Dy but Live and Declare the works of the Lord The Lord hath chasten'd 〈◊〉 sore but He hath not given me over to Death I had very often a secret perswasion That I should Live to Declare the Works of the Lord. And 2 Chron. 6.36 37 38 39. was a precious Scripture to me in the Day of Evil. We have Read over and Pray'd over this Scripture together and Talk'd together of this Scripture Margaret and I How the Lord hath Promised Though they were Scattered for their Sins yet there should be a Return if they did Bethink themselves and Turn and Pray So we did Bethink our selves in the Land where we were Garried Captive did Turn did Pray and Endeavour to Return to God with all our Hearts And as they were to Pray towards the Temple I took it that I should Pray towards Christ and accordingly did so and hoped the Lord would Hear and He hath Heard from Heaven His Dwelling Place my Prayer and Supplication and mentained my Cause and not Rejected me but Returned me And Oh! how affectionate was my Reading of the Eighty Fourth Psalm in this Condition The means of my Deliverance were by reason of Letters that had passâ—d between the Governments of New-England and of Canada Mr. Cary was sent with a Vessel to fetch Captives from Quebeck and when he came I among others with my youngest Son had our Liberty to come away And by Gods Blessing upon us we Arrived in Safety at Boston in November 1695. our Desired Haven And I desire to Praise the Lord for His Goodness and for His Wonderful Works to me Yet still I have left behind Two Children a Daughter of Twenty Years old at Mont Royal whom I had not seen in Two years before I came away and a Son of Nineteen years old whom I never saw since we parted the next morning after we were taken I earnestly Request the Prayers of my Christian Friends that the Lord will deliver them What shall I render to the Lord for all His Benefits FINIS