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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A11114 Good nevves and bad nevves. By S.R. Rowlands, Samuel, 1570?-1630? 1622 (1622) STC 21382; ESTC S110762 13,724 48

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GOOD NEWES and BAD NEWES By S. R. LONDON Printed for Henry Bell and are to be sold at his Shop within the Hospitall gate in Smith-field 1622. To the Reader AS oftentimes as friend his friend doth meet And with salute each other kindly greet The second speech that commonly they vse Is to enquire straight Pray what Good newes The eare for nouelties still harkens out After the tales which tongues doe spread about And many a one most wicked doth deuise To feed the world with false deluding lies Because men are so apt for to inquire And after rumours haue so great desire But heer 's no imitation of such men Good newes and bad presented by a pen That to your view such humours doth present As by the good you may the bad preuent Heer 's choise and change of both sorts to be had Full of variety Good newes and Bad. S. R. An Epigram vpon a iest of Will Sommers WILL SOMMERS once vnto King Harry came And in a serious shew himselfe did frame To goe to London taking of his leaue Stay William quoth the King I doe perceiue You are in haste but tell me your occasion Let me preuaile thus by a friends perswasion Quoth he if thou wilt know I le tell thee Marry I goe to London for Court newes old Harry Goest thither from the Court to heare Court-Newes This is a tricke Sommers that makes me muse Oh yes quoth William Citizens can show What 's done in Court ere thou or I doe know If an Embassador be comming ouer Before he doe arriue and land at Douer They know his Masters message and intent Ere thou canst tell the cause why he is sent If of a Parliament they doe but heare They know what lawes shall be enacted there And therefore for a while adue White-hall Harry I le bring thee newes home lyes and all To Make-tale and Carry-tale IT were good newes to any honest minde That we could such a reformation finde Amongst our wandring wits and giddy braines That they would cease their sottish idle vaines Of intermedling as they daily doe With things their calling hath no claime vnto Grosse ignorance presumptuously will prate Of serious matters that concerne a State Dull vnderstanding neuer heeds his owne But other mens affaires that must be knowne Blockish-conceit will boldly take in hand That he Church gouernment doth vnderstand To want what he hath need of Reformation And this is growne to such a gracelesse fashion That we the common custome may forbeare Vs'd when men meet What 's the good newes you heare And to another question may proceed What lies abroad and then y' are sure to speed You shall haue them by whole sale quickly vented T' is wondrous strange how people are contented To haue themselues deluded in this sort By euery flying fained false report How itching eares doe entertaine all stuffe If it be named Newes t' is good enough One saies a traueller a friend of his Is new come home and he hath told him this Another saies as he in Paules did walke He heard the newes whereof two Knights did talke Another he hath newes is very rare And heard it sitting in a Barbers chaire Another he is furnish't very strange With newes new taken vp at the Exchange And thus about from man to man it flies Was neuer such an age for telling lies Make-tale and Carry-tale a worke are set Father of lies hath caught them in his net They are his owne and he emploies them still And so I leaue them to his cursed will The good Newes and the Bad that here is told Both take foundation on a better hold For when this booke is ouer read by you I 'le lay the price you will confesse t' is true Good Newes A Wealthy Citizen that di'd of late Did leaue his wife a very great estate Sūm'd vp in Thousands to her hearts content All sorts of suters to this widow went As Courtiers Lawyers Citizens Diuines But she vnto a Gallant Knight inclines And would be Madam'd Worship'd Ladifide And in the Leather-carted fashion ride The match was made the marriage consummate Her Ladiship was grac'd in pompe and state With all content vnto her hearts desire So brauely proud that all her friends admire Their old acquaintance quite aside was layd Her worship highly scorn'd shop-keeping trade Friends kinsfolkes neighbours are inferiour all She much disdaines What lacke ye at a stall Bad Newes FIe vpon giddie Fortune and her wheele Vnconstant and as slipperie as an Ecle From Kitchin-maid to Mistris she arose From mistris vnto Madam ●p she goes And there a yeare or two ●●s Lady swagger Then turnes about and sends her downe to begger Her dearest Knight whom so she iust may call What with his debts and what with Haue at all Lay hidden like a sauage in his den For feare of Bayliffes Sergeants Marshals men And she doth on her Virginals complaine I waile in woe my Knight doth plunge in paine Good Newes A Vsurer met late with a Diuine At a friends house where they together dine And entring good discourse the Preacher tooke Occasion to condemne out of Gods booke The sinfull trade that money-mongers vse Beginning with Gods Law vnto the Iewes And so throughout all ages how the best Of holy men did vsurie detest And that there neuer any Saint hath bin Would venter soule vpon that wicked sin The Vsurer that heard his zealous speech Repented and Gods mercy did beseech In his defence not knowing what to say But free confest his heart had gone astray And from that day would restitution make And ten i' th Hundred vtterly forsake To Hospitals most liberall he would giue To pris'ners that in miserie doe liue Almes-houses for the poore he will haue made And repaire Churches ruinous decay'd High wayes and bridges he would likewise mend And bountifull beneuolence extend To schooles of learning yea would thousands giue To pious vse while he had time to liue And so detesting damned vsury Learne euery day vnto the world to die Bad Newes AFter he did this godly motion chuse He walking home where sitting in a muse His man comes in and to him sadly spoke Sir he you sent me to this morning 's broke Hee 's gone for Ireland the Neighbours say And what he owes neuer intends to pay Another of his seruants commeth in And tels him as bad newes where he had bin One that should pay fiue hundred pounds together Had taken Ludgate and was new gone thither Now out vpon them Villaines both he said Is this a world t' haue restitution made Giue vnto Hospitals that will for me And tarry Knaues in prison where you be Build Almes-houses you that haue mind thereto I with my coyne haue somewhat else to doe Mend Bridges you that ouer bridges goes For you shal make no bridge friends of my nose And for your Churches with decayed wall Get Briefes and begge or let your Churches fall Mine owne's mine owne vpon my selfe