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A09230 Merrie conceited iests of George Peele Gentleman sometimes a student in Oxford. Wherein is shevved the course of his life, how he liued: a man very well knowne in the citie of London, and elsewhere. Peele, George, 1556-1596. 1627 (1627) STC 19543; ESTC S110388 19,044 33

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Wench and within some few daies after had an end of his Booke How George read a Play-booke to a Gentleman THere was a Gentleman whom GOD had indued with good liuing to maintaine his small wit hee was not a Foole absolute although in this world he had good fortune and hee was in a manner an Ingle to George one that tooke great delight to haue the first hearing of any worke that George had done himselfe being a writer and had a Poeticall inuention of his owne which when he had with great labour finished their fatall end was for priuie purposes This selfe-conceited brocke had George inuited to halfe a score sheetes of paper whose Christianly pen had writ Finis to the famous Play of the Turkish Mahamet and Hyrin the faire Greeke in Italian called a Curtezan in Spaine a Margerite in French vn Curtain in England among the barbarous a Whore but among the Gentle their vsuall associates a Puncke but now the word refined being latest and the authoritie brought from a Climate as yet vnconquered the fruitfull Countie of Kent they call them Croshabell which is a word but lately vsed and fitting with their trade being of a louely and courteous condition Leauing them This Fantasticke whose braine was made of nought but Corke and Spunge came to the cold lodging of Monsieur Peele in his blacke Sattin Sute his Gowne furred with Cony in his Slippers being in the euening he thought to heare Georges booke and so to returne to his Inne this not of the wisest being of Saint Barnards George bids him welcome told him he would gladly haue his opinion in his booke He willingly condiscended and George beginnes to reade and betweene euery Sceane hee would make pauses and demand his opinion how hee liked the carriage of it Quoth he wondrous well the conueyance O but quoth George the end is farre better for hee meant another conueyance e're they two departed George was very tedious in reading and the night grew old I protest quoth the Gentleman I haue staide ouerlong I feare me I shall hardly get into mine Inne If you feare that quoth George wee will haue a cleane paire of sheetes and you shall take a simple lodging here This house-gull willingly embraced it and to bed they goe where George in the midst of the night spying his time put on this Dormouse his cloathes desired God to keepe him in good rest honestly takes leaue of him and the House to whom hee was indebted foure Nobles When this Drome awaked and found himselfe so left he had not the wit to be angry but swore scuruily at the misfortune and said I thought hee would not haue vsed me so And although it so pleased the Fates he had another sute to put on yet he could not get thence till he had paide the money George ought to the house which for his credit he did and when he came to his lodging in anger he made a Poem of it Peele is no Poet but a Gull and Clowne To take away my cloathes and Gowne I vow by loue if I can see him weare it I le giue him a glyg and patiently beare it How George Peele serued halfe a score Citizens GEorge once had inuited halfe a score of his friends to a great Supper where they were passing merry no chéere wanting wine enough musicke playing the night growing on being vpon departure they call for a reckoning George swears there is not a penny for them to pay They being men of good fashion by no meanes will yeeld vnto it but euery man throwes downe his money some tenne shillings some fiue some more protesting something they will pay Well quoth George taking vp all the money seeing you will be so wilfull you shall sée what shall follow he commands the musicke to play and while they were skipping and dancing George gets his cloake sends vp two Pottles of Hypocrist and leaues them and the reckoning to pay They wondring at the stay of George meant to be gone but they were staide by the way and before they went forced to pay the reckoning anew This shewed a mind in him he cared not whom he deceiued so he profited himselfe for the present A Iest of George riding to Oxford THere was some halfe doozen of Citizens that had oftentimes beene solliciters to George he being a Master of Art at the Uniuersitie of Oxford that hee would ride with them to the Commencement it being at Midsomer George willing to pleasure the Gentlemen his friends rode along with them When they had rode the better part of the way they baited at a Uillage called Stoken fiue miles from Wickham good cheere was bespoken for dinner and frolicke was the company all but George who could not be in that pleasant vaine that did ordinarily possesse him by reason he was without mony but he had not fetcht fortie turnes about the Chamber before his noddle had entertained a conceit how to money himselfe with credit and yet gleane it from some one of the company There was among them one excellent Asse a fellow that did nothing but friske vp and downe the Chamber that his money might bee heard chide in his pocket this fellow had George obserued and secretly conuay'd his gilt Rapier Dagger into another Chamber and there closely hid it that done he called vp the Tapster and vpon his cloake borrowes 5 shillings for an houre or so till his man came as he could fashion it well enough so much money he had and then who more merry then George Meate was brought vp they set themselues to dinner all full of mirth especially my little foole who dranke not of the conclusion of their feast dinner ended much prattle past euery man begins to buckle to his furniture among whom this Hichcock missed his Rapier at which all the company were in a maze he besides his wits for he had borrow'd it of a specaill friend of his and swore he had rather spend twenty Nobles This is strange quoth George it should be gone in this fashion none being heere but our selues and the fellowes of the house who were examined but no Rapier could be heard of all the company much grieued but George in a pittifull chafe swore it should cost him fortie shillings but hee would know what was become of it if Art could doe it and with that he caused the Oastler to saddle his Nag for George would ride to a Scholler a friend of his that had skill in such matters O good M. Peele quoth the fellow want no money heere is forty shillings see what you can doe and if you please I le ride along with you Not so quoth George taking his fortie shillings I le ride alone and be you as merry as you can till my returne So George left them and rode directly to Oxford there he acquaints a friend of his with all the circumstance who presently tooke Horse and rode along with him to laugh at the Iest.
the meane time with the tenne shillings he had of the Maior deliuered his Horse out of Purgatorie and carries him to the Townes end and there placeth him to be ready at his comming By this time the Audience were come and some forty shillings gathered which money George put in his purse and putting on one of the Players Silke Robes after the Trumpet had sounded thrice out he comes makes low obeysance goes forward with his Prologue which was thus A trifling Toy a Iest of no account pardie The Knight perhaps you thinke for to bee I Thinke on so still for why you know that thought is free Sit still a while I le send the Actors to ye Which being said after some fire-workes that hee had made of purpose threw out among them and downe stayres goes he gets to his Horse and so with fortie shillings to London leaues the Players to answer it who when the Iest was knowne their innocence excused them beeing as well gulled as the Maior and the Audience How George gulled a Puncke otherwise called a Croshabell COmming to London hee fell in company with a Cockatrice which pleased his eye so well that George fell aboording of her and proffered her the wine which my Croshabell willingly accepted to the Tauerne they goe where after a little idle talke George fell to the question about the thing you wot of My she-Hobby was very dainty which made George arre more eager and my letcherous animall proffered largely to obtaine his purpose To conclude nothing she would grant vnto except ready coyne which was forty shillings not a farthing lesse if so he would next night she would appoint him where he should meete her George saw how the game went that she was more for lucre than for loue thus cunningly answered her Gentlewoman howsoeuer you speake I doe not thinke your heart agrees with your tongue the money you demand is but to try mee and indeed but a trifle to me but because it shall not bee said I bought that Iemme of you I prize so highly I le giue you a token to morrow that shall bee more worth then your demand if so you please to accept it Sir quoth she it contenteth me well and so if please you at this time wée le part and to morrow in the euening meete you where you shall appoint The place was determined and they kist and parted shee home George into Saint Thomas Apostles to a friend of his of whom he knew he could take vp a Petticoat of trust the first letter of his name begins with G. A Petticoat hee had of him at the price of fiue shillings which money is owing till this day The next night beeing come they met at the place appointed which was a Tauerne there they were to suppe that ended George was to goe home with her to end his Yeomans plee in her common case But Master Peele had another drift in his mazzard for he did so ply her with wine that in a small time shee spunne such a thread that shee reeled homewards and George he was faine to be her supporter when to her house she came with nothing so much painting in the inside as her face had on the outside with much adoe her Maide had her to bed who was no sooner laid but shee fell fast asleepe which when George perceiued hee sent the Maide for Milke and a quart of Sacke to make a Posset where before her returne George made so bold as to take vp his owne new Petticoate a faire Gowne of hers two gold Kings that lay in the window and away he went the Gowne and the gold Kings hee made a chaffer of the Petticoate hee gaue to his honest Wife one of the best deedes he euer did to her How the Croshabell lookt when she awaked and saw this I was neuer there to know How the Gentleman was gulled for shauing of George GEorge had a Daughter of the age of tenne yeeres a Girle of a pretty forme but of an excellent wit all part of her was Father saue her middle and she had George so tutored all night that although himselfe was the Author of it yet had hee beene transformed into his Daughters shape he could not haue done it with more conceit George at that time dwelt at the Banke-side from whence comes this she-sinnow early in the morning with her haire dichenalled wringing her hands and making such pittifull moane with shrikes and teares and beating of her brest that made the people in a maze some stood wondring at the Childe others plucked her to know the occasion but none could stay her by any meanes but on shee kept her iourney crying O her Father her good Father her deare Father ouer the Bridge thorow Cheap-side and so to the Old Bailey where the Gentleman soiourned there sitting her selfe downe a hundred people gaping vpon her there she begins to cry out Woe to that place that her Father euer saw it she was a cast-away her Mother was vndone till with the noise one of the Gentlemans men comming downe looked on her and knew her to be George Peeles Daughter hee presently runnes vp and tels his Master who commanded his man to bring her vp The Gentleman was in a cold sweat fearing that George had for the wrong that he did him the day before some way vndone himselfe When the Girle came vp hee demanded the cause why she so lamented and called vpon her Father George his flesh and blood after a million of sighs cryed out vpon him he had made her Father her good Father drowne himselfe Which words once vttered shee fell into a counterfeit swoone whom the Gentleman soone recouered This newes went to his heart and he being a man of a very milde condition cheered vp the Girle made his men to go buy her new cloathes from top to toe said he would be a Father to her gaue her fiue pounds bid her go home and carry it to her mother and in the eueneng he would visit her At this by little and little she began to be quiet desiring him to come and sée her Mother He tels her he will not faile bids her goe home quietly So downe stayres goes she pearily and the wondring people that staid at doore to heare the manner of her griefe had of her nought but knauish answers and home went she directly The Gentleman was so crossed in mind and disturbed in thought at this vnhappy accident that his soule could not be in quiet till he had béene with this wofull widdow as hee thought and presently went to Blacke Fryers tooke a payre of Oares and went directly to George Peeles house where hee found his Wife plucking of Larkes my crying Crocadile turning of the spit and George pinn'd vp in a blanket at his translation The Gentleman more glad at the vnlookt for life of George then the losse of his money tooke part of the good cheere George had to dinner wondred at the cunning of the