service-Service-booke and Ceremonies pleasing to Papists When Queen Elizabeth came to the Crown bloody Bonner Bishop of London was deposed and clapt up in prison a friend of his comming one day to visite him he asked how the world went abroad and what kinde of Service the Protestants used in Pauls and other Churches his friend told him that they had the Masse still meaning the Booke of Common Prayer and Organs and Coaps and Surplices and Singing-men and the like nay said Bonner if they taste of our Broth I doubt not but ere long they will eate of our Beefe A Butcher of Norwich Churched A Butcher of Norwich being dangerously goared in his bowels by a Bull lay a long time before he could be recovered but being at length cured he sent to the Minister of his Parish to desire that thankes might be given to God in the Congregation for his great deliverance the Minister was so devout an observer of the Booke of Common Prayer and of Bishop Wrens injunctions that he would not use any other prayer then what that Booke afforded and so when the man was come into the Church he turnes to the forme of Thanksgiving for Womens deliverance from the paine and perill of Childe-birth which he made to serve the turne for that time and so the Butcher was sufficiently Churched A gracious providence A Minister seeing some of his Parishioners shooting at Buts upon a Lords day went to admonish them to forbeare telling them the danger of prophaining that day some of them cryed out That the King had granted liberty for that and other Sports and they would take it the Minister replyed that though the King dispensed with it yet the Law of God forbids it saying that we ought to obey God rather then man shortly after many Articles of Inconformity were exhibited into the Ecclesiastical Court against this Minister and amongst the rest that he said He cared not for the Kings Lawes and this was subscribed under the hands of two of those principall Archers Upon this a Commission was sent downe with Commissioners Proctors anâ— a Notary to examine Witnesses upon the place about these Articles some few dayes before the speeding of this Commission one of the forementioned Archers lying upon hâ—s Death-bed and much troubled in minde could not be satisfied till he had spoken with the Minister who comming to him he desired pardon of him for the great wrong he had done him in setting his hand to a false accusation saying in the presence of many Neighbours that he was so threatned by the Apparator and others that he was forced though against his Conscience to doe as he did but the other Witnesse that had subscribed this dangerous Article as 't was made and possibly in those times might have proved so he stands to what he had done and said he would sweare it upon all the bookes in England but when the Commissioners were come to Towne and ready to fall upon the businesse his heart began to smite him and taking an honest neighbour with him came to the Minister cryed him mercy and denyed that ever he had heard him speake such words this being knowne to the Prosecutors and Commissioners they put up their Pipes and away they went like Knaves as they came A pretty waggish trick Three Cambridge Schollars sitting up late one night at Cards in their chamber he who had won the others money began to complaine that it was late and time for them to give over his Companions urged him to play still but he pretending to be very weary would play no more but goes away to bed his fellowes continued playing still hand to hand who when they perceived the other Schollar to be fast asleep they put out the Candle drawing the window curtaines so close that no light at all could be seene and on they went with their Game sometimes wrangling and sometimes chafing so loud that they wak't him that was at bed who looking up and perceiving no light askt them if they were mad to play in the darke but they were so earnest in their play that they seemed not to minde him whereupon he sits up in his bed asking them seriously whether they could see to play or no and desired them for Gods sake to tell him whether there were any light in the chamber being thus earnest they answered him and said that though he had won their money he needed not to jeere them he protested that he did not jeere but was in good earnest and that if they had any light he was blinde vowing that he could not see one bit whereupon they rose from the Table and came to the bed side one of them asking him if he did not see them now nor the candle in his hand no truly said he I can see nothing at all then said the other Schollar his eyes to see too are as cleare and good as any of ours at which words the poore Schollar burst out a weeping saying that he was stone blinde and what shall become of me This is a Judgement of God upon me for spending my time in play as I have done and for being so covetous to win other mens money then he prayed one of his Chamber-fellowes to reach him his breeches which having he put his hand into his pocket and gave them all the money which he had won of them the other Schollars seeing their plot had taken so well thought good to keep their companion no longer in blindnesse but lighting their candle againe with the Tinder-box the young man forth-with recovered his sight Some mens sins goe before-hand to Judgement One Mr. W. was very busie in prosecuting an Indictment against his Minister at a Quarter Sessions for omitting the Crosse in Baptisme and being a man in high favour with the Justices he made no question of prevayling at night according to his usuall manner he fals to drinking till he was so extreame drunke that he was faine to be carried home in the morning his Wife began mildly to blame him for his acting against the Minister the day before at which hee with fearefull Oathes swore that he would soone rid the Towne of the Puritan but behold the hand of God! This wretched man as he was about to rise and having put one arme in his Dublet even as the Oathes were uttering he was taken speechlesse yea and sencelesse and so instantly dyed Lilly a grand Imposter Mr. William Lilly whom the Fools of this Generation so much flock to did in his Prognostication of 1644. positively say that Prince Rupert should not live beyond the 28th yeare of his age which he pretends to know by the Stars and affirmes with as much confidence as if he meant to be his Executioner but Rupert is now above thirty and herein Lillies wit-craft fayl'd him he that will observe his cunning Predictions and note how of the failes shall finde him a most notorious Juggeler and deceiver of the people even to the shame of our Nation
life became All Scot and quit his English claime This mystick Proteus too as well Might cheate the Devill scape his Hell Since to those pranks he pleas'd to play Religion ever pav'd the way VVhich he did to a Faction tye Not to reforme but crucifie 'T was he that first Alarm'd the Kirk To this preposterous bloody worke Vpon the King to place Christs Throne A step and foot-stoole to his owne Taught zeale a hundred tumbling tricks And Scriptures twin'd with Politicks The Pulpit made a Juglers Box Set Law and Gospel in the Stocks As did old Buchanon and Knox In those dayes when at once the Pox And Presbyters a way did finde Into the world to plague Mankinde 'T was he patcht up the new Divine Part Calvine and part Cataline Could too transforme without a Spel Satan into a Gabriel Just like those Pictures which we paint On this side Fiend on that side Saint Both this and that and every thing He was for and against the King Rather then he his ends would misse Bâ—tray'd his Master with a Kisse And buried in one common Fate The glory of our Church and State The Crown too levell'd on the ground And having rook'd all parties round Faith it was time then to be gone Since he had all his businesse done Next on the fatall Block expir'd He to this Marble-Cell retir'd VVhere all of Hamilton remaines But what Eternity containes The old Cardinall did not like the new way of chusing Popes An old Sicilian Cardinall after long absence comming to the election of a new Pope and expecting that incessant Prayers as of old should have been made to God for the directing of the choyse of Christs Vicar and finding now nought but canvasing promising anâ— threatnings for Voyces Ad hunc modum faith he fiunt Romani Pontifices Are the Popes of Rome chosen after this manner He would stay no longer in the Conclave but away he went and never saw Rome after The Low-Countries compared to a Cow The State of the Low-Countries hath been resembled to a Cow the King of Spaine spurring her the Queen of England feeding her the Prince of Orange milking her the Duke of Anjoy pulling her back by the tayle but she befoul'd his fingers The Counsell of Constance At the Counsell of Constance Anno 1414. were assembled Sigismund the Emperour four Patriarchs twenty nine Cardinals three hundred forty six Arch-Bishops and Bishops five hundred sixty foure Abbots and Doctors six hundred Secular Princes and Noble-men foure hundred and fifty common Harlots six hundred Barbers three hundred and twenty Minstrils and Jesters Of one that had never troubled God with his prayers before that time A man being sick and afraid of death fell to his prayers and to move God to heare him told him that he was no common Begger and that he had never troubled him with his prayers before and if he would but heare him at that time he would never trouble him againe England and Scotland seldome long at peace That which Vellejus said of the Romans and Carthaginians may as truly be said of the English and Scotch That almost for three hundred yeares there was either Bellum inter eos aut belli preparatio aut infida pax Either Warre or preparation to Warre or a false Peace between them What to doe in time of danger The Duke of Saxony preparing an Army against the Bishop of Magdenburg which he hearing of he fell to prayer reforming his Church and amending what was amisse which one of his friends perceiving and saw that he made no preparation for his defence asked him if he did not heare what the Duke intended yea said he I doe heare it well enough Sed ego sanabo Ecclesiam meam Deus pugnabit pro me I will reforme my Church and then God will fight for me A Rule for Kings Theopompus being demanded by what means a King might safely keep his Kingdome answered by giving his friends free liberty oâ— speech Riches the bane of the Church Bishop Jewell records out of Joannis Parisensis and others that when Constantine the Great advanced Bishops and endowed the Church with Lands and great temporall Possessions there was a voyce of Angels heard in the aire saying Hodie venenum funditur in Ecclesiam This day is poyson poured out upon the Church Germany baned by three things Luther Prophesied that there were three things which would be the bane of Christian Religion in Germany First Forgetfulnesse of Gods great blessing in restoring the Gospel againe to them Secondly Security which said he already reigneth every where Thirdly Worldly wisdome which would bring all things into good order and undertake to cure the publick distempers with wicked Counsels Learning too low for Noble-mens Sons A great Peere of this Land not guilty of â—uch Learning nor any great friend to it â—â—id it was enough for Noble-mens Sons to winde their Horne and carry their Hawke â—â—ire and that Study and Learning was for Children of meaner ranke to whom it was justly replyed That then Noble-men must be content that their Children may winde their Hornes and carry their Hawkes while meaner mens Sonnes doe weild the affaires of State The Earle of Castle-havens miserable Comforters When the Earle of Castle-haven was to be beheaded there were sent two great learned Deanes and Doctors of Divinity to his Lodgeing to pray with him before his death who calling for a Common prayer-Prayer-booke they read over the Letany to him which was all the Prayers they used with him the Earle much grieved and discontented there-with brake forth into these speeches Alas what doe these Doctors meane to trouble themselves or me in praying to God to deliver me from Lightning Tempest from Plague Pestilence and Famine from Battle and Murder and from suddaine death who am now presently to dye and lose my head Or what doth their praying to preserve all that travell by Land or by Water all Women labouring with Childe all sick Persons young children concerne either me or my present condition who am now ready to perish and bâ— destroyed miserable Comforters are they This he spake with teares in his eyes and thereupon desired the Company that was with him to goe into another roome from these Deanes where he made such an heavenly fervent extemporary Prayer pertinent to his present dying condition as ravished all the Auditors An Imposture handsomely discovered The Duke of Gloster being with Henry the Sixth at Saint Albans there was a great brute up and downe the Towne of a famous Miracle wrought at that very time upon a poore man by vertue of St. Albans Shrine which was the restoring of fight to this poore man who as he said was born blinde the Miracle was so noysed in the Towne and in every mans mouth that the Duke desired to see the man that was thus cured of his blindnesse who being brought to him he asked him if he were borne blinde who answered him that he was and
while the Lord and his cause doe suffer A good Conscience preferr'd before worldly glory Flavianus Clemens one of Domitians Courtiers was so much in favour with that Emperour as he intended to make his Son his Successor in the Empire but this good Flavianus rather then he would breake the Peace of his Conscience in the matter of his Religion he was content to beare the turning of this great love the Emperour bore him into as great hatred so as he hated him to death and oppressed his whole House Honours change manners Two Schollers that were long brought up together agreed that which of them came first to preferment should help the other one of them came afterward to be a Bishop the other seeing himselfe forgotten or at least neglected came to the Bishop desiring him to remember his promise the Bishop made as if he knew him not not know me replyed the other I am such a one Oa said the Bishop 't is no marvaile I shouâ—d not knowyou for to tell you true I scarce know my selfe A good help for the Pope at a dead lift A Fryer Minorite wrote a Booke to prove that the Pope might be Excommunicate as well as any other man to which purpose he used this Dilemma either the Pope is a Brother or he is not a Brother if he be a Brother then 't is certaine he may be Excommunicate by a Brother if he be not a Brother why doth he say Our Father at which the Pope was very much troubled but a merry Courtier that waited on him said That it was an easie matter to avoyd the Fryers Dilemma the Pope desired to know how Why Sir said the Courtier Vos nunquam dicite Pater Noster solutum est argumentum Let your Holinesse never say the Lords Prayer and there 's an end of an old Song The sinfull examples of great men are of dangerous consequence in the world Austin in his Confessions speaking of Poeticall Fictions saith that the Devill drew men on cunningly to wickednesse by them for whereas the Poets feigned such and such men who were sometimes famous in the world to be gods and did cry them up for Deities and attributed to thâ—m filthy lusts and wicked uncleannesse it came to passe that such as delighted in such wayes would blesse themselves in this that they did not imitate base men but the coelestiall gods Thus the Devil gets Sinne countenanced in the world by the examples of great ones the meaner sort thinking themselves safe if they have but men of eminency for their patterne A fit Meditation for every man Franciscus Xaverius writing to John the third King of Portugall gave him this wholsome counsell That he would every day for a quarter of an houre meditate upon that Divine sentence Wbat shall it profit a man to win the world and lose his owne soule And that he would seeke of God the right understanding of it and that he would make it the close of all his prayers the repetition of these words What shall it profit a man c. A Miracle in our dayes Mistris Hony-wood of Kent an ancient and religious Gentle-woman being in great distresse of Conscience for want of assurance oft crying out that she was certainly damn'd one day as she was in conference with some godly Divines who laboured what they could to comfort her and satisfie her spirit she still persisted in her dispairing expressions when the Ministers were about to depart she called for a cup of Wine for them which being brought she dranke to one of them a Glasse of the Wine and as soone as she had done in an extreame passion she threw the Venice Glasse against the ground saying As sure as this Glasse will breake so surely am I damned the Glasse rebounded from the ground without any harme which one of the Ministers suddenly caught in his hand and said Behold a Miracle from Heaven to confute your unbeleefe tempt God no more tempt God no more both the Gentlewoman and all the company were mightily amazed at this strange accident and all glorified God for what was done and the Gentlewoman through the Grace of God received much comfort and lived and dyed full of peace and assurance This hapned in King James his time and the whole Story was related to him in a Sermon immediately after it was done and so also was it related by another Preacher at Pauls Crosse Kings never want Laws to doe what they list Cambyses desirous to marry his owne sister asked his Magi whether it were lawfull or no for him to doe so They answered that indeed they had no Law for the Brother to marry the Sister but they had another Law whereby it was lawful for the Kings of Persia to doe what they listed The Churches treasure Saint Laurence the Martyr being demanded by Galienus the Tyrant where he had bestowed the Treasure of the Church he told him that within three dayes he would resolve him in the meane time he gathered together a great number of poore Christians saying that these were the riches of the Church He that serves God by a Proxy shall goe to Heaven by an Atturny There was a Merchant that seldome or never went to Church himselfe but used to send his Wife to pray for them both it hapned that they both dyed much about the same time and comming to Heaven Gates Saint Peter let the Woman only in saying That as she went to Church for both so she should be received into Heaven for both A sinfull life followed with a wofull death One Hermanus a great Courtier in the Kingdome of Bohemia being at point of death did most lamentably cry out That he had spent more time in the Palace then in the Temple and that he had added to the ryotousnesse and vices of the Court which he should have sought to have reformed and so dyed to the horrour of those that were about him A Bishops blessing not worth a halfe penny There was a poore blinde man that sate begging by the High-way who hearing that a Bishop was comming the old man bestirr'd himself with great expectation of a bountiful reward from his Lordship crying Good my Lord good my Lord bestow some small peece of silver upon this poore blinde man for Gods sake my Lord one halfe penny to this blinde man but on rode the Bishop and not a farthing could the poore man get who perceiving that the Bishop was past he cryed to him that if he would give him no mony he would yet give him his blessing the Bishops blessing in old time was a goodly matter which the Bishop hearing turned his Horse and went back to the blinde man bidding him kneele downe and he would give him his blessing which was to lay his hand upon his head and pray God to blesse him the blinde man fell upon his knees but instantly starts up againe and said 'T was no great matter whether he did blesse him or no for he