with the Common people be esteem'd Let them turne hack-sters as they walke the street Quarrell and fight with euery one they meet Learne a welsh Song to scoffe the Brittish bloud Or breake a iest on Scotsmen that 's as good Or if they would that fooles should much admire them They should be Iugglers if I might desire them But if they want such feates for to be glorious Make Ballets and they shall become not orious Yet this is nothing if they looke for fame And meane to haue an euerlasting name Amongst the Vulgar let them seeke for gaine With Ward the Pirat on the boisterous Maine Or else well mounted keepe themselues on land And bid our wealthy trauellers to stand Emptying their full cram'd bags for that 's a tricke VVhich somtimes wan renoune to cutting Dicke But some may tell me though that such It doth not goe against their conscience much And though there 's boldnes showne in such a case Yet to be Tost at Tyburns a disgrace No 't is their credit for the people then Wil say 't is pitty they we eâ—proper men With many such like humors base and naught I do perceiue the common people fraught Then by th' opinion of some it seemes How much the Vulgar sort of men esteems O 〈◊〉 or learning Certaine neighbouring swaines That think none wise-men but whose wisdome games Where knowledge be it morall or diuine Is valued as an Orient-pearle with swine Meeting me in an euening in my walke Being gone past me thus began their talke First an old Chuff whose roofe I dare be bould Hath bacon hang's in 't aboue fiue yeares old Said That 's his sonne thatâ—s owner of the grounds That on this pleasant beechs mountaines bounds D' ye marke me ne ghbors This saâ—e yong mans vather Had a bin my zunne I hud a hangd him rather Assoone as he perzeâ—u'd the little voole Could creepe about the house putten to schoole Whither he we tâ—not now and then a â—purt As 't had beene good to keep him from the durt Nor yet at leasure tim s that 's my zunnes stint Vor then 〈◊〉 deed there had beene reason in'te Bâ—t vor continuance and beyond all zesse A held him too 't sixe dayes a weeke no lesse That by S. Anne ie was a great presumption It brought him noâ— his end with a Consvmption And then besides he was not so content To putten there where as our childers went To learne the Horne booke and the Abcee through No that he thought not learning halfe enough But he must seeke the Country all about Where he might find a better Teacher out And then he buies him now a pips befall it A vlappâ—ng booke I know not what they call it T is latine â—ll thus it begins In speech And hat 's in English boy beware your breech One day my Dicke a leafe on t with him brought Which he out of his fellowes booke had raâ—g â—t And to hâ— s Mother and my selfe did read it But we indeed did so extreamely dread it We gaue him charge no more thereon to looke Vor veare it had bin of a coniuring booke If that you thinke I iest goe as ke my wife If ere she heard such â—ibberish in her life But when he yonn had cond the same by heart And of a meny moethe better part He went to Oxford where he did remaine Some certaine yeares whence hee 's returnd againe Now who can tell it in my stomack stickes And I doe veare he has some Oxford tricks But if it be zo would he had neâ—e come hether Vor we shall still be sure of blustring weather To what end comes his paine and vathers cost Th' one's charges and the tothers labour lost I warrant he so long a learning went That he almost a brothers portion spent And now it nought auailes him by this holly I thinke all learning in the world a folly And them I take to be the veriest vooles That all their life time doe frequent the schooles Goe aske him now and see if all his wits Can tell you when a barly season hits When Meddowes must be left to spring when mowne When Wheate or tares or rye or pease be sowne He knows it not nor when t is meet to fold How to manure the ground that 's wet or cold What Lands are fit for Pasture what for corne Or how to hearten what is ouer-worne Nay he scarce knowes a Gelding from a Mare A Barrow from a Sow nor tak she care Of such like things as these be knowes not whether There be a difference twixt the Ewe and Weather Can he resolue you No nor many more If Cowes doe want their vpper teeth before Nay I durst pawne a groat he cannot tell How many legges a Sheepe hath very well Is 't not a wise man thinke yee By the Masse C ham glad at heart my zunnes not zuch an Asse Why he can tell already all this geare As well almost as any of vs heare And neighbors yet I 'le tell you more my Dicke Hath very pretty skill in Arsemetricke Can cast accouts writes his name Dunces daughter Taught him to spell the hardest words it 'h zauter And yet the Boy I le warrant yee knowes how As well as you or I to hold the Plow And this I noted in the vrchin euer Bid him to take a Booke he had as lether All day haue drawne a Harrow truth is so I likt it wel although I made no shew Vor to my comfort I did plainly see That he heoreaster would not bookish bee Then when that hauing nought at home to do I sometime forct him to the schoole to goe You would haue greeud in heart to heare him whine And then how glad he was to keep the swine I yet remember and what tricks the Mome Would haue inuented for to stay at home You would haue wondred But 't is such another A has a wit in all the world likes Mother Yet once a month although it greeues vs than H'ele looke you in a books do what we can That Mother Sister brother all we foure Can scarce perswade him from 't in halfe an howre But oft I thinke he does it more of spight To anger vs then any true delight Vor why his Mother thinks as others do And I am halfe of that opinion too Although a little learning be not bad Those that are bookish are the so â—nest mad And therefore since much wit makes vooles of many I hil take an order mine shall ne're haue any By r Lady your the wiser quoth the rest The course you take in our conceit 's the best Your Lonne may liue in any place i th land By his industrious and laborious hand Whilst he but that his parents are his stay Hath not the meane to keepe him selfe a day His study to our sight no pleasure giues Nor meâ—â—es nor profit and thereby he liues So little thing the better none needt doubt it He might
for euery sex for each degree And in all causes as if they had beene In euery thing or at least all things seene If need be they can like a Lawyer prate Or talke more grauely like a man of State They 'l haue a Tradesmans tongue to praise their ware And counterfet him right but they 'le not sweare The curioust Phisicians if they please Shall not quoine words to giue their patients ease So well as they And if occasion vrge They 'l Choller yea and Melancholly purge Onely with charmes and words and yet it shall Be honest meanes and meerely naturall Are they dispos'd to gossip't like a woman They 'l shew their tricks so right that almost noman But would so thinke them Virgins that are purest And Marrons that make shew to be demurest Speake not so like chast Cynthia as they can Nor Newbery so like a Curtezan They 'l giue words either fitting for a Clowne Or such as shall not vnbeseeme a Crowne In show they will be chollerick Ambitious Dâ—sperate Iealous Mad or Enuious In sorrow or in any Passion be But yet remaine still from all passions free For they onely to this end exprest them That men may see them plainer and detest them But some will say that these haue on the stage So painted out the vices of this age That it not onely tels that they haue bin Experienc't in euery kind of sinne But that it also doth corrupt and show How men should act those sins they did not know Oh hatefull saying not pronounc't by chance Bnt spew'd out of malicious Ignorance VVeigh it and you will either thinke these weak Or say that they doe out of enuy speake Can none declare th' effect of Drunkennes Vnlesse they vsed such-like bestlinesse Are all men ignorant what comes by lust Excepting those tht were themselues vniust Or thinke they no man can describe a sin But that which he himselfe hath wallawed in If they suppose so I no cause can tell But they may also boldly say as well They are apprentices to euery trade Of which they find they haue descriptions made Or for because they see them write those things That do belong to rule best say th' are Kings As though that sacred Poesie inspir'd No other knowledge then might be acquir'd By the dull outward sence yes this is Shee That showes vs noâ— alone all things that be But by her power laies before out view Such wondrous things as Nature neuer knewe And then whereas they say that men are worse By reading what these write 't is their owne curse For is the flower faulty cause we see The loathsome spider and the painefull Bee Make diuers vse on 't No it is the same Vnto the spider though she cannot frame Like sweetnes as the Bee thence But indeed I must confesse that this bad age doth breed Too many that without respect presume This worthy title on them to assume And vndeseru'd base fellowes whom meere time Hath made sufficient to bring forth a Rime A Curtaine ligge a libell or a ballet For Fidlers or some Roagues with staffe and wallet To sing at doores men only wise enough Out of some rotten old worme-eaten stuffe To patch vp a bald witlesse Comedy And trim it heere and there with Ribaldry Learn'd at a baudy house I say there 's such And they can neuer be disgrac't too much For though the name of Poet such abuses Yet they are enemies to all the Muses And dare not sort with them for feare they will Tumble them headlong downe Parnassus hill Why then should their vsurping of it wrong That Title which doth not to them belong And wherefore should the shame of this lewd crew Betide them vnto whom true honors due It shal not for how ere they vse the name Their works wil show how they do merit fame And though it be disgrac't through ignorance The generous will Poesie aduance As the most Antique Science that is found And that which hath been the first root ground Of euery Art yea that which only brings Content and hath beene the delight of kings Great IAMES our King both loues liues a Poet His bookes now extant do directly show it And That shall adde vnto his worthy name A better glory and a greater fame Then Britaines Monarchy for few but he I thinke will both a King and Poet be And for the last although some fooles debase it I 'me in the mind that Angels do imbrace it And though God giu 't heere but in part to some All shall hau 't perfect in the world to come This in defence of Poesie to say I am compel'd because that at this day Weaknesse and Ignorance hath wrong'd it sore But what need any man therein speake more Then Diuine Sidney hath already done For whom though he deceas'd ere I beguâ— I haue oft sighed and bewaild my Fate That brought me forth so many yeeres too late To view that worthy And now thinke not you Oh Daniell Draiton Iohnson Chapman how I long to see you with your fellow Peeres Matchlesse Siluester glory of these yeeres I hither to haue onely heard your fames And know you yet but by your workes and names The little time I on the earth haue spent Would not allow me any more content I long to know you better that is the truth I am in hope you 'l not disdaine my Youth For know you Muses Darlings I le note raue A fellowship amongst you for to haue Oh no for though my euer willing heart Haue vow'd to loue and praise You and your Art And though that I your stile doe now assume I doe not nor I will not so presume I claime not that too-worthy name of Poet It is not yet deseru'd by me I know it Grant me I may but on your Muses tend And be enrould their Seruant or their Friend And if desert hereafter worthy make me Then for a Pellow if it please you take me But yet I must not here giue off to speake To tell men wherein I haue found them weake And chiefely those that cannot brooke to heare Mention of Death but with much griefe and Fearâ— For many are not able for to take That thought into them but their soules will quake Poore feeble spirits would you nere away But dwell for euer in a peece of Clay What find you heere wherein you doe delight Or what 's to seeing that 's worth the sight What doth the heauens thy endeauors blesse And wouldst thou therefore liue for to possesse The Ioy thou hast seek't not perhaps to morroâ— Thou l't wish to haue di'd to day to scape the sorroâ— Thou then shall see for shame take stronger Hearts And adde moâ—e courage to your betteer Parts For Death 's not to be feard since t is a Friend That of your sorrowes makes a gentle end But here a qualitie I call to minde That I amongst the Common-people finde This 't is a weake one to when they perceiue A
that thou shouldst spare Because I know that such a one is rare Physick and Law I honor both God blesse it With euery vertuous man that doth professe it I do not ayme at such as they nor when I flout our Gallants meane I Gentlemen Such worthy Brittaines as maintained be According to their fashion and degree No those I loue and what can I lesse doe Since I of them am wel-beloued to To blame all Marchants neuer was my will Nor do I think all Trades-mens work is ill My meaning must not so be vnderstood For the last shooes I had were very good Yea and so farre am I from such a thought Thou shouldst against the vertuous doe ought That if thou but an honest Tapster see Tell him I wish we might acquainted be And I 'le that Hostler loue which in amends Will vse my horse wel that we may be friends And to be breefe good Satyr vnderstand That thou maist not mistake what I command 'T is not my meaning neither do I like That thou at this time shouldst in speciall strike Because my hatred might appeare as then Not to the vice but rather to the men VVhich is not so for though some malice me vvith eu'ry one am I in charitie And if that thou doe euer come to sight And bring thy yet concealed charge to light I wish it might be tooke as 't was intended And then no vertuous man wil be offended But if that any man doe thinke amiss Vpon my life that partie guiltie is And therefore lash him so get thee out of dore Come what come will I 'le call thee back no more So now he 's gone the way that I direct him I wonder how the world will now respect him If that she maruaile why he was not bolder Perhaps he may be when that he is older He hath too smooth a chin a looke too mild A token that he is not wholly wild But may I reach the yeares of other men If that this loose world be not mended then I le send a Satyr rougher then a Beare That shal not chide and whip but scartch teare And so I 'le teach him he shall be too strong For all your Paris-garden dogs to wrong This Satyr hath a scourge but it wants weight Your Spanish whips were worse in eighty-eight That shall not onely make them howle for paine But touse them till they hold their peace againe Now if the world frowne vpon me for 't Shall I be sorie No 't wil mend my sport But what if I my self should hap to stray Out of my bounds into my Satyrs way Why then and that 's as much as I need doe I giue him leaue to come and lash me toe So now my Muse a resting time requires For shee 's or ' wearied and her Spirit tires 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 FINIS Certaine Epigrammes to the Kings most excellent Maiestie the Queene the Prince the Princesse and other Noble and Honorable Personages and friends to whom the Author gaue any of his bookes To the Kings Maiestie EPIGRAM 1. LOe here â—â—read Sou'raign and great Brittans King First to thy view I haue presum'd to bring These my Essaies On which but geâ—ly looke I do not make thee Patron of mâ— booke For 't is not sit â—ur Faiths-Desender still Take the protection of each trifling quill No yet because thy wisdome able is Of all things to make vse I gâ—ue thee this The Picture of a Beast in Humane shape 'T is neither Monkey nor Baboone nor Ape Though neere Conditioned I haue not sought it brought it In Affrick Deserts neither haue I Out of Ignota terra those wild lands Beyond the farthest Magalanick strands Yeeld not the like the Fiend liues in this Il And I muâ—'d that you spied not all this while That Man-like Monster But alas I saw The looke of Maiestie kept him in awe He wil not for he dares not before thee Shew what indeed he vses for to be But in thy presence he is meeke demure Deuout chast honest innocent and pure Seeming an Angell free from thought of ill And therefore thou must needs so thinke him stil. But for because thy Soueraigne place denies The sight of what is view'd by meaner eyes This I haue brought thee with much care and paine 'T was like to haue bin forced backe again So loath the world was that thou should'st view The Portrature that I haue drawne so true Yea yet I feare she findes her selfe so gal'd That some wil study how to haue 't recal'd But t is too late for now my Muse doth trust When thou hast seen 't thou wilt approoue what 's iust And if I may but once perceiue or heare That this sounds pleasing in thy kingly eare I le make my Muse for to describe him fuller And paint him forth in a more liuely cullour Yea I wil to the worlds great shame vnfold That which is knowne but neuer yet was told Meane while great King a happy Monarâ—h raigne In spight of Rome the Diuel Hel and Spaine Another to his Maiesty EPIGR. 2. AS he that feedes on no worse meat then Quailes And with choice dainties pleaseth Appetite Wil neuer haue great list to gnaw his nailes Or in a course thin diet take delight So thou great King that still dost ouerlooke The learned workes that are most deepe most rare Canst not perhaps these my rude Satyrs brooke Thou dost not for such sharp fang'd Critticks care Oh do not yet thy selfe so much estrange From wonted curtesie to others showne A Country dish doth often serue for change And something heere is worthy to be knowne Sharpe sauce giues sweetest meat a better tast And though that this to many bitter be Thou no such sicknes in thy stomack hast And therefore 't will be pleasing vnto thee VVhat though I neither flater fawne nor sooth My honest plainenesse shall more truely praise thee Then those that in Court language filed smooth Striue vnbeleeuing Tropheis for to raise thee My loyall heart cannot so well impart The loue it beares your Maiesty as otherâ—s The want of Time Encouragement and Art My purpose in the Embrio still smothers Obscurity Grosse-Fates and want of Meanes Would haue made Romes great Maro harshly sing But if once Caesar to his musique leanes His tunes through all the world will sweetly ring And why are English wits so perfect growne But for because thy kingly hand peruses Their wel tun'd Poems and hath bounty showne Yea it is thou giust light vnto their Muses Oh! had I such a Star for Pole to mine I 'de reach a straine should rauish all the Nine To the Queenes Maiesty EPIGR. 3. DAughter Wife Sister ' Mother to ' In Posse a King And Empresse of the North enrich your Name Yet do you chastity and wisedome bring Bounty and curtesie to make vp true fame VVhich â—ince faire Queen my Muse hath vnderstood She 's bold into your presence to intrude Assured honest meanings that
ABVSES STRIPT AND WHIPT OR SATIRICAL ESSAYES By GEORGE WYTHER Diuided into two Bookes 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Dispise not this what ere I seeme in showe A foole to purpose speaks sometime you know AT LONDON Printed by G. ELD for FRANCIS BVRTON and are to be solde at his shop in Pauls Church-yard at the signe of the Green-Dragon 1613. To him-selfe G. W. wisheth all hapinesse THou euen my selfe whome next God my Prince and Country I am most engaged vnto It is not vnlikelie but some will wonder why contrary to the worlds custome I haue made choyse of thy Patronage for this booke rather then the protection of such whose mightinesse might seeme better able to defend it especially considering such a Gigantick troupe of aduersaries haue banded themselues against the Truth that one of them Goliah-like dares raile vpon a whole hoast of Israel It may be I say some will wonder and some scoffe at mee for it for which cause though to answer them with sic volo had been sufficient yet to shew I will not like our Great ones stand so much vpon my authority as to make my VVill my Reason I heere let you know why and for what causes I haue done it the first is this I could not amongst all men finde any man in my opinion so fitting for this purpose but either my Worke was vnworthy or too worthie his Patronage Secondly it is said Obsequium amicos veritas odium parit and I doubting my free speech would hardly make a Diapason pleasing to the eare of a common Mecaenas thought it best to hold my tong or speake to my selfe whose disposition I am better acquainted with Thirdly seeing I know but what men appeare and not what they are I had rather indure the Kites tyranny then with Aesops Doues make the Sparrow-hauke my Champion Fourthly if I haue spoken Truth it is able to defend it selfe if not who-ere be my Patron it is I must answere for it Fiftly for asmuch as I know my owne minde best I purpose if need be to become my own Aduocate Sixtly for my owne sake I first made it and therefore certaine I am I my selfe haue most right vnto it But seauently and lastly which is indeed the principal Reason I haue made this Dedication to thee poore world-despised Selfe euen to put thee in minde seeing thou hast here boldly begun to bid defiance to the Flesh and vpon iust causes quarrelled with the World that thou take heed to thine owne words and not through basenes of minde or vntowardnes of Fortune to thy euerlasting disgrace faintly giue ouer so noble a Combate If euer aduersitie as t is like enough oppresse thee yet remember thy owne sayings and in despight of outward Destinies haue a care to keepe an vndeiected heart still free for Vertue Or on the contrary if euer as t is vnlikely vnexpected Prosperity bee cast vpon thee then look to thy selfe take to thee this poore booke of thine wherein thou shalt see the dangers of it and be perhaps thereby staid from many a perilous enterprise which that estate might else driue thee into Reade it weekely daily yea and howerly toe what though it bee thine owne thou knowest mans nature to bee so vncertaine and prone to forgetfulnesse euen in the best things that thou canst not haue too many Memorandums The wisest fall and therefore euery day was Philip desirous to bee remembred that hee was a Man thou thinkest I know still to remaine what thou art I desire in some things thou maist but vnlesse thou labour it with diligent watchfulnesse ouer affection it is at least much to be doubted if not altogether to bee despaired of thou hast seene many by an alteration in their estate beene so metamorphosed as if they were not the same men nor of that Nation Nay remember it thou thy selfe and that but vpon a bare hope or imagination of some preferment hast bin puffed vp and exalted aboue measure consider now then how much more thou hadst beene so and what had become of thee if God had not by dashing those hopes called thee to thy selfe againe Alas if hee had answered thy ambitious expectations to thy desire thou hadst bin by this time past recouerie and not thought of this but delighted in villany bin ouer-mastered by passion rusht into all vanity and presumption yet neuer felt any danger till it were too late to preuent it Thou hast oft wisht thou hadst bin borne to the like means that others are which might it haue beene so now thou seest thou shouldst hardly or neuer haue come to the knowledge of those things that are now showne thee T is true thou hast lamented to be crost in thy preferments but thou seest since that it might haue been thy vndoing if it had not beene so and maist perswade thy selfe whether it be now or neuer it will be to thy good For tell me hast thou not often felt euen when thou wert busiest to preuent them fond loue ambition reuenge couetousnesse and such like Passions then to inuade thee Hast thou perceiued it I say How much more then would they haue beene ready to assaile thee when quite forgetting them thou hadst wholly addicted thy self to the things of this world Let mee aduise my deare-selfe then to make vse of this thine owne worke it will be better to thee then all the world for this good it may do thee and to this end I made both â—t and the Dedication thereof to thee that if euer hereafter the temptations of the world the flesh the diuel or any occasion should make thee to forget this mind that thou art now in or so blind thy vnderstanding thou shouldst not perceiue thy owne and the Worlds follies as thou now dost That if thou shouldst be in that miserable state as many are to haue no feeling of thy danger that if thou shouldst bee wofully flattered and haue no friend that dares or loues thee so well to put thee in mind of thy transgressions Then I haue ordained this to shew thee what once thou wert to touch thee againe with the feeling of thy miseries and to bee vnto thee that true Friend which free from all faigned inuention shal plainely tell thee what perhaps should else haue neuer beene brought againe to thy remembrance Looke then that for thy owne sake thou respect this how euer to others it may seeme a trifle Bee carefull of thy actions for seeing thou knowest the dangerous Passions wherevnto Man is subiect hast showne his vanities layed open his Weakenesse and sharpely taxed his Presumptions If now thou shouldest wilfully runne thy selfe into the same euilles the vvorld would vpraidâ— thee this Booke yea thy Conscience accuse thee God and good-men hate thee thy fault be more odious and in-excusable thy iudgement more seuere and which is worst thy punishment most intollerable I say seeke therefore if for no other cause so to carry thy selfe that at least thou maist haue a
surely God amend it One twise twelue howers will begin and end it But why are they so earnest then oh know That the small springs within the dales below Glide gently on vntill a land-flood fils Their empty channels from the higher hils But when thei 'le swell vntill they can discharge Their Burthens in some plaine to runne at large So these low Magistrates would gladly sleepe And their owne easie crooked Channels keepe But when that any Streame of Ivstice showers And comes downe to them from the Higher powers Then peraduenture the 'le grow big a day And Iustice shall haue course the nearest waie Yet in a little space she must be faine To runne within their winding banks againe Some falsely haue affirmed Iustiâ—e blind Yet I am sure she knows how to finde If that she be disposed for to looke Who giues her daie-workes by her counting books Nay she knowes Capon Turkey Goose or Swan And thee I warrant from another Man What ere thou be But whilest she sees so plaine It is no wonder we haue lawes in vaine Also when Officers doe vndertake Their charge at first Lord what a quoile they make A drunkard cannot with his capring feete Cut out Indentures as he walkes the streete But he 's straight stockt for 't or for his offence By fining to the poore he must dispence Then those perhaps that slackly doe frequent Gods deuine Seruice somewhat shall be shent And many other goodly deeds thei 'le do But these grow quickly weary of them toe Againe sometimes comes out a Proclamation Which threatens on the paine of Confiscation That no Recusant doe presume to stay Within ten miles o th' Court from such a day Yet sure 't is notwithstanding ment that some Should daily to the Presence Chamber come And shroud within a furlong on 't or two Some Great-one's may and so I hope they doe And by their owne Authority no doubt May keepe the rest from danger thereabout Pish they at such a matter will but scoffe 'Cause they know surely how to put it off Yet I 'le not say it is in vaine for why The Printer's sometime set on worke thereby And 't is moreouer for our satisfaction Who else might think the State were out of action But oh you noble English Senators Our Kingdomes Guard and Princes Counsellors How can you see your labours so mis-vs'd Or brooke to haue your Soueraigne so abus'd Doe you suppose that it deserues no blame To make a Scar-crow of the Regall Name And to erect it on some common stall For to be gaz'd on to no end at all Respect it more and vse it not for course Or fashions sake but shew it hath some force Pluck out those Vipers that for feare of harme Their chilled spirits in your bosomes warme D' ye not perceiue their stings No danger feare yet Oh 't is apparant let them not shroud neere yee For if you doe 't is doubtlesse the Conclusion If God preuent not will be your Confusion Yet all for ought I see should still remaine Were there not some who out of zeale to Gaine More then Religion or their Countries weale Their scuruie base conditions doe reueale In begging and in rifling of some few But they their owne corruptions rather shew Then redresse any More I here could vtter But I methinkes already heare some mutter As if I should be sure of Râ—mes great curse But then â—'me sure I shall be ne're the worse Yea let them go to Rome curse ban spare not I 'le sit at home and laugh because I care not But why doe I of Lawes alone complaine Since all Man deales in is in some sort vaine Religion is with Ceremonies stuft And with vaine-glory and presumption puft Now our Almes-deâ—ds and guifts of Charitie Are done for shew and with hypocrisie Yea al 's made vaine for if you would but view Our Vniuersities indeed 't is true There you may yet see how that heretofore In better daies hath been erected store Of Pallaces whose curious build are still A faire remembrance of the worke-mens skill Which least that knowledge in the land should fade VVere by the Patrons of good learning made That there the Muses shelter'd from the rages Of former present and succeeding ages Might safely liue and not beholding be To Pyren for his hospitality 'T is also true there wants not to sustaine Their proper needs nor yet to entertaine Such as desire knowledge there 's enough The worthy Founders haue prouided so But of these profits now why make they stay Best sel 't or let some Courtier beg't away For publike Guifts are turn'd to priuate vses Faire Colledges are ful of foule Abuses And their Reuenues I account as vaine Because they lazy Dunces do maintaine Who to themselues do claime the profits by Nothing but witlesse Seniority Such as saue Beard with reuerence be it spoken Of profound learning haue nor marke nor token Good Founders dreaming not of these Abuses Gaue them at first to charitable vses But we find now all alter'd and the dues The which by right vpon desert ensues Like Offices in Court are bought and sould And places may be had but how for gold There as else-where they now are growne so bad Without Quid dabis nothing can be had 'T is strange to see what Auarice can doe But are the Muses taken with it to Oh no for they esteeme such gaine a losse And their high Spirits scorne such earthly drosse How then There are some Cormorants crept in Who in their youth pretended to haue bin Addicted vnto knowledge when alas T is wel seene since that all their purpose was To snort in ease augmenting still their store Til they grow wealthy and their houses poore Foule droanes whose voices must be hir'd with mony Steruing the Bees while they deuoure the hony But oh you Birdes of Athens cleare your Hals And driue those lazy Hornets from your stals Through them it is men thinke you couetous They make your groues and walks grow scandalous But how wil you discerne them Marry thus Since they haue made themselues notorious I le point them out And though their heads they shroud As Venus did Aeneas in a cloud I 'le so vnmask them if their eares they show You shal be able to say there they goe First note them there are some by Bribes and Fees Can soone passe thorough two or three Degrees And if they sue for ought are not deni'de it When better Students must be put beside it Then there be others who their nests to fether Can keepe in office nineteene yeares together Enforcing many vnto penury To haue wherewith to feed their luxury Note you not some at fifty winters study That haue their wits so thin and braines so muddy They must procure of other men to doe The excercises they were cal'd vnto And sit there not of Dunces pretty store From Sunne to Sunne at euery tradesman dore Huge fat Curmâ—dgeons tell me I think no Do
Commons of Three halfe-pence feed them so Or can such puffes so Humberkinlike set Into a Pulpit once in seauen yeare get Sure if they do their memorie's so weake When they come there they know not what to speake Nor are they halfe so fit if 't came to proofe To serue for Pastors as to hang at Roofe It is no maruaile then that blockish rout Retaine their places and keep better out For no good Patron that doth Conscience make Will vnto them the Charge of soules be take Because if such the flock of Christ should keepe No question they would make but Carion Sheepe Then they must stay yet in their stay thei 'le be A plague vnto the Vniuersity For ouer and aboue the mischeefes nam'd The vice for which the younger sort is blam'd They are most guilty of for forc't to tarry Through want and by their lawes forbid to marry Thence springs it that the Townes-men are reputed Thus by a common voyce to be Cornuted For I haue knowne that such haue daily beene Where younger scollers neuer durst be seene And all vnlesse that they haue eyes like Moles May see those Foxes vse the Badgers holes Nor hath their lewdnesse in that action staid But on the place a fouler blemish laid Which heere Indeed I do forbeare to name Least it be to the place I loue a shame And for because I feare some spitefull mates May taxe them with it that such dealing hates Brought in by them for who is so impure But he that liueth like an Epicure Oh Mues seeke in time to root these weeds That mar your Gardens and corrupt your seeds And you that are appoynted Visitors Who ought for to be strict Inquiâ—â—tors To search the foule abuses of these Times And see them punisht Oh! let these my Rimes Moue you for to reforme this villany Or let the hate of damned Periury Stir vp your zeale these euils to restraine If not for loue of good for feare of paine Which else though you set light as at your heele As sure as God is Iust your soules shall feele Do you not see now all the wondrous Cost Of worthy Benefactors vainely lost The Lands Reuenues Customes Charters Rents Which they haue left for diuers good intents Vainely employed see the Student poore For whom it was ordain'd stands at the doore And may not enter whilst the golden Asse Is quietly admitted for to passe And shroud himselfe within those sacred gates Which wer 't not for commodity he hates You sacred Genii that did once attend Those wel deuoted Patrons to their end Although your bodies be entoomb'd in claie Since you suruiue because you liue for aye Looke downe on your abused guifts and see be What oddes twix't th' vse and your good meanings Come and behold how the laborious sits Sharing some hungry Commons scarce two bits And that but when a double gauday haps Full glad alas at other times with scraps While that the Lazy Dunce on dainties feeds Oh come I say if you respect your deeds And fright them with some ghastly visions thence They may haue more remorse for their offence If I could take on me some monstrous forme I 'de either make them their bad liues reforme Or hare them quicke to hell But I am vaine Thus for to inuocate or to complaine Because I doubt this fault will nere be mended Vntill all euill with the world be ended Learning is vaine too or so made at least Consider it I speake it not in iest Doe we not see that those who haue consum'd Halfe a mans age in Schooles and haue assum'd Degrees of Art and howrely ouer-looke Many a leafe many a wise-mans booke Still studying to know fellowes that can As they themselues thinke put downe any man That dares of Predicables to dispute Yea such as can to if need be refute Knowne Truths and that in Metaphisicall Much more I thinke in matters Naturall Seeme greatly read Doe we not see I say That these from study being tane away For some employments in the Publike weale A man would be ashamed to reueale Their simple carriage sooner thei le speak Treason Then any thing that shall be law or Reason Aske their opinions but of this or that Thei 'le tell a Tale they scarcely know of what And at the last you must be well apaid With This the Poet or This Tully said So other mens opinions shall be showne But very seldome any of their owne What is 't to heape vp a great multitude Of words and sayings like a Chaos rude For to be able for to bring in Plato Great Aristotle with the wiseman Cato And diuers more yet like a blockish Elfe Be able to say nought at all himselfe As if it were all well and he had paid it If he can once say Such a man hath said it Then by their actions who gather can They haue more knowledge then another man Since they doe worse absurdities commit Then thoe that seeme their Iuniors in wit As if they thought it were enough to know And not with knowledge vnto practise goe Those may be learned and of learning pâ—ate But for affaires of Country or of State In my conceit they are as farre vnfit As fooles and mad-men that haue lost their wit And notwithstanding all their studious paine I count their learning and their Knowledge vaine But thinke not I hold Knowledge vaine to be Or all that in the Vniuersitie Mispend their Times vntiftting men to deale About employments of the Common-weale No for I euer this accompt did make That there are those know best to vndertake Great Offices and surely such as haue Both knowledge and desert yet shall they saue But their owne credits Th' other who are knowne To haue no gifts of nature of their owne For all their knowledge gotten in the Schooles Are worse by much ods then vnlearned Fooles Now thou that wouldst know rightly these mens state Goe but a while and talke with Coryate And thou wilt soone be able to maintaine And say with me that Learning 's somewhere vaine Then if there were ordain'd no other place Where now-despised-Vertue should haue grace She were vaine to and those that lou'd her best Were to be counted vaine aboue the rest For they be sure of these worldly Crosses And whosoere gaine theirs must be the losses Iustice is wanting so for if that men Commit an ill the Law giues smart but when They doe performe a vertuous deed 't is hard There 's no Law heere that giues them a Reward Nay if a man by wrong suspition be Brought vnto any wofull misery If he be wrackt and tortur'd so that Death May pleasure him by stopping of his breath And if at last by proofes it doth appeare That he of the suspected crime is cleare Onely he may his life by that meanes saue But shall no other satisfaction haue Yea and he must be glad and well content He hath his life for being Innocent Whereof he would full glad
that he is sure to finde Himselfe to morrow in that very minde Hee 's in to day though he not onely know No reason wherefore he should not be so But also though he plainly do perceiue Much cause he should not that opinion leaue May no man do it who then iustly can Be forced to rely or trust in Man Whose thoughts are changing and so oft amisse That by himselfe himselfe deceiued is Who is so sottish as to build Saluation On such a feeble tottering foundation As Man who is 't that hauing a respect To his soules safety will so much neglect That precious assurance as to lay His confidence on that false peece of clay Which being fickle merits farre lesse trust Then letters written in the sand or dust Do they not see those they haue soundest deem'd And for their constants writers still esteem'd All wauering in assertions yea but looke And you shall finde in one and the same booke Such contradiction in Opinion As shewes their thoughts are scarce at Vnion Where finde you him that dares be absolute Or alwaies in his sayings resolute Ther 's none I by my owne experience speake I haue a feeling that we men are weake Whereon much musing makes me inly mourne And grieue at heart that I a man was borne Yet herevpon I do desire that no man VVould gather that I long to be a woman Alas how often had I good Intendments And with my whole heart vow'd and sworn amendments Yea purpos'd that wherein I once thought neuer Vnconstancy should let me to perseuer And yet for all my purpose and my vow I am oft alter'd ere my selfe knowes how But therefore since it is not I alone Or any certaine number that is knowne To be vn-stable but e'ne all that be Since none I say is from this frailty free Let vs confesse it all and all implore Our nere repenting God that euermore Remaines the same we may be as we ought More certaine both in Word and Deed Thought That he will keep vs from Inconstancy Yea from all damned lewd Apostasie But howsoeuer our affections change And we in slight opinions hap to range Yet pray his Truth in vs be so ingraued Continuing to the end we may be saued OF WEAKNES SATYR 3. BVt oh looke here for I haue surely found The Maine chiefe Root the very spring and Ground Of our Inconstancy It is not Chance That so dis-ables our perseuerance But a base Weaknesse which to terme aright Is meerely a priuatâ— on of that might Or a detraction from that little power Which should be in those limbs and minds of our We boast of strength but tell me can our daies Affoord a Milo or a Hercules Can all the world and that is large enough A match for Hector or Achilles show Haue we a Champion strong enough to weild This Buckler or Sir Aiax seauen-fold-Shield I thinke we haue not but I durst so grant There be some liuing shall with Aiax vaunt Nay now in these daies it is doubted much VVhether that any former age had such As these fore-named but indeed our faith Binds vs to credit that as Scripture saith There was a Samson who could fright whole hosts And rent downe Azaths barred gates and posts Whose mighty Arms vnarm'd could bring to passe E'ne with the rotten iaw bone of an Asse A thousands ruine and yet 't will be long Er'e he shall thereby proue that Maâ— is strong For first the strength he seem'd to haue was known To be the Spirit of God and not his owne And then his proper weaknesse did appeare When after his braue actiheihad wel-neare Been dead for thirst whereas if he in spight Of Nature had been able by his might Out of this little Stony-rocke to wring To quench his present thirst some flowing Spring As did a Stronger one or if his power Could haue compel'd the melting clouds to shower For present need such plenteous drops of raine He might haue had no cause for to complaine Or craue more aid Sure then we might at length Be brought for to beleeue that Men had strength But ne're till then Hee 's mighty that can make The Heaueus Earth Hell with 's breath to shake That in his spheare the Suns swift course can stop And Atlas with his burthen vnder-prop He that with ease his massy globe can rowle And wrap vp Heauen like a parchment scrowle He that fot no disease or paine will droop Nor vnto any plague infernall stoop He that can Meat and Drinke and sleepe refraine Or hath the power to dye and rise againâ— Hee 's strong indeed but he that can but teare Or rent in two a Lyon or a Beare Or doe some such like act and then goe lye Himselfe ore-come by some infirmitte How ere with vants he seemes his deedes to grace He is both miserable weak and base What Creature is there borne so weake as Man And so vn-able tel me he that can Or if that they could number'd be by any Count his disease and what hath so many Or else what creature is there if he be In bone and flesh of the same quantity So fraile as Man or that can worse sustaine Hunger or thirst or cold or heat or paine Sure none and yet in Histories we find Til Luxury hath weakened thus mankind They weare much stronger could indure the heat Trauel a long time without Drink or meat And their best dainty was no costlier thing Then a wild-root or water from the Spring With which small Commons Nature was content Yea in our Climate people naked went And yet no question felt as little cold As we wrapt vp in halfe a dozen fold They had no wast-coats night-caps for their heads Nor downy pillowes nor soft feather-beds They scorn'd as much to haue such thinges about theÌ„ As we in this Age scâ—rne to be without them Their heads some stone bare vp their brawny sides VVith ease the hardnes of the earth abides Gluttonous fare that so the pallat pleases Nere fild their bodies full of foule diseases Nor any pleasing liquors with excesse Made them grow weak through beastly drunkennes No lust-prouoking meats made them vnchaste Nor vnto carnall copulaâ—ton haste For I am in the minde they ne're requir'd it Till Nature come to herfull strength desir'd it And that it is alone which made them be More stout more strong and brauer men then we It was a noble care in them indeed but how Are we become such Dwarfes and Pigmies now How are our limbs so weake and feeble growne I thinke I need not tell it 't is well knowne Nice tender breeding which we well might spare Much drunkennes and our luxurious fare Which ads not strength as some doe vainely say But rather takes both strength and health away Yet chiefely this same imbecility Comes by too soone and frequent venery A beardlesse Boy now cannot keep his bed Vnlesse that he be of his Night-geere sped And many Giglets I haue married
Fate with such a weakling place it Who hath no helpes of Nature for to grace it Or one whose proper Knowledge is so small He is beholding to his Booke for all It onely breeds vnlesse it be some Treasons Cripled Opinions and prodigious Reasons Which being fauour'd brings in the Conclusion Publike Dissentions or their owne Confusion For I may liken Learning to a Shield With a strong Armor Lying in a field Ready for any man that hath the Wit To take it vp and arme himselfe with it Now if he be a man of strength and might That happens on that furniture to light He may doe wonders As offend his foe And keep himselfe and his from ouerthrow But if a weake and feeble man should take These instruments of Mars what would they make For his aduantage Surely I should gather They would goe neere to ouerthrow him rather For they would loade him so a man more strong Although he be vnarm'd may doe him wrong So he that is depriu'd of Natures guifts With all his Learning maketh harder shifts Through his owne weakenes incurs more shames Then many that want Art to write their Names We haue some Fellowes that would scorne to be Term'd Weake I know especially by Me Because they see that my vngentle Fate Allow'd me not to be a Graduate Yet whatsoeuer they will say vnto it For all their scorning I am like to doe it And to be breefe they are no simple fooles But such as haue yauld Ergo in the schooles Who being by some men of worship thought Fit men by whom their children may be taught And learnd enough for that they are allowd The name of Teachers whereof growing proud Because perhaps they heare that now and then They are admired at by the seruing-men Or else by reason somthing they haue said Hath beene applauded by the Chamber-maid They therevppon suppose that no man may Hold any thing for truth but what they say And in discourse their tongues so much wil walke You may not heere a man of reason talke They are halfe Preachers if your question be Of matters that concerne diuinity If it be law I 'le warrant they 'l out-face A dozen Pâ—oydens to maintaine their case But if it be of Physick you contend Old Galen and Hypocrates may send For their opinion nay they dare professe Knowledge in al things though there 's none know less Now I should wonder they preuaild so much Did not the Common-people fauour such But they are knowne although their verdit passes Proud Dogmatists and self-conceited Asses Whom I may tearme though I cannot out-scold them Weake simple fooles and those that doe vphold them Moreouer some but foolishly precise And in my iudgement far more weake then wise Misiudge of Poetry as if the same Did worthily deseâ—ue reproach and blame If any booke in verse they hap to spy Oh out vpon 't away prâ—fane they cry Burn't reade it not for sure it doth containe Nothing but fables of a lying braine Al-asâ— take heed indeed it oft pollutes The out-side of thy false-vaine glorious sutes And to the blinded people makes it plaine The Coulour thou so counterset'st will staine Because we see that men are drunke with wine Shall we contemne the liquor of the Vine And since there 's some that doe this Art misuse Wilt therefore thou the Art it selfe abuse 'T were meere iniustice For Diuinitie Hath with no Science more affinitie Then this and howsoe're this scruple rose Rime hath exprest as sacred things as prose When both in this age and in former time Prose hath been ten-times more profane then rime But they say still that Poetry is lies And fables such as idle heads deuise Made to please fooles but now we may by this Perceiue their weaknes plainely what it is Yea this both weake and ignorant doth proue them In that thei 'l censure things that are aboue them For if that worthy Poets did not teach A way beyond their dull conceited reach I thinke their shallow wisedomes would espy A Parable did differ from a lie Yea if their Iudgement be not quite bereft Or if that they had any reason left The precious Truths within their fables wrapt Had not vpon so rude a Censure hapt But though that kind of teaching some dispraise As there 's few good things lik't of now adaies Yet I dare say because the Sâ—riptures show it The best e're taught on earth taught like a Poet And whereas Poets now are counted base And in this worth-lesse age in much disgrace I of the cause cannot refraine to speake And this it is mens Iudgements are growne weake They know not true desert for if they did Their well deseruings could not so be hid And sure if there be any doth despise Such as they are it is cause he enuies Their worthines and is a secret foe To euery one that truely learnes to know For of all sorts of men here 's my beliefe The Poet is most worthy and the chiefe His Science is the absolut'st and best And deserues honor aboue all the rest For 't is no humane knowledge gain'd by art But rather 't is inspir'd into the heart By diuine meanes and I doe muse men dare Twixt it and their professoins make compare For why should he that 's but Philosopher Geometrician or Astrologer Physitian Lawyer Rhetorician Historian Arithmetician Or some such like why should he hauing found The meanes but by one Arâ— to be renown'd Compare with him that claimes to haue a part And interest almost in euery Art And if that men may adde vnto their name By one of these an euerlasting fame How much more should it vnto them befall That haue not onely one of these but all As Poets haue for doe but search their works And you shall find within their writing lurks All knowledge if they vndertake Of Diuâ—ne matters any speech to make You 'l thinke them Doctors if they need to tell The course of starres they seeme for to excell Great Ptolomey entend they to perswade You 'l thinke that they were Retoricians made VVhat Law what Phisick or what History Can these not treat of Nay what mistery Are they not learn'd in If of Trades they write Haue they not all tearms and words as right As if he had seru'd an Apprentiship Can they not name all tooles for workemanship We see t is true If once they entreat of wars Of cruell bloudy fraies of wounds of scars VVhy then he speaks so like a souldier there That he hath beene begot in armes thou 'lt sweare Againe he writes so like a Nauigator As if they had seru'd Neptune in the water And thou wouldst thinke he might of trauaile make As great a Volume as our famous Drake Old Proteus and Vertumnus are but Apes Compar'd to these for shifting of their shapes There is no humorous Passion so strange To which they cannot in a moment change Note but their Drammaticks and you shall see They I speake
do not at my handes require My youthfull sinnes though that my flesh be fraile And my affections often do preuaile Seeing thou knowest the weake estate of man And what a little his small power can Accept my will and let thy blood suffice To quit the rest of mine iniquities But now because I haue obseru'd such store I needs must tell a few presumptions more Some in contemning others wisdome show That they presume themselues do all things knoâ— But that vile selfe-conceit nere raised any Certaine I am it is the fall of many Others and they in this kind too offend On their owne Memories too much depend Such I haue heard so confidently speake As if they had no thought that men were weaâ— Yea those though twenty men haue all gaine-said What they affirmed were not yet affraid Their owne bare affirmation to out-face With sundry oathes such wondrous trust they place In their remembrance yea my selfe ere now Haue beene oft-times more rash for to anow What I thought truth then ere I le be againe For what I deemd to be so sure and plaine That I not onely stood in 't to my might But would haue paun'd my life ' thad been the right That to my shame I haue my selfe alone Found to be false when all the rest were gone VVhich greeu'd me so that I le nere more rely Or trust so much to mine owne memory But what may I terme those who for a name Or for to get some vile prepostrous fame VVill desperately for the nonce begin To put in action some vngodly sinne That all men loath and only as they say For to be talkt of VVhat are such I pray Presumptuous vaine or weake or all that 's bad The last I thinke and ten-times more then mad Yet we haue gallants and great store of such That in their great Brauadoes care not much VVhat villanies they doe But 't is their humor Only to fill mens mouthes with idle Rumor And cause they know the Vulgar sort do deeme them Youths of great Spirit and do much esteeme them But amongst wise-men they are sure to gaine Reprochfull shame and wel deseru'd disdaine Yet for to adde some fame vnto this story We will be queath them Erostratus glory Nor haue our old men left that humor yet For though through feeblenesse they are vnfit To put in practise their old tricks againe Yet for to show they like them and would faine Thei 'le often with a lie or two recite them And the rememberance doth so much delight them That whereas they ought rather to repent And with a grieued heart for to lament Their former follie They with Ioy and Laughter Seeme to approu't in those that shall come after Yet there 's a crew the which my Muse wel knows To them she here a Memorandum owes And yet no Commendations for they are But busie fellowes that doe boldly dare Take on them in their comments for to finde The secret meaning of each Authors minde And to apply that in particular That should extend to all in generall And in this little booke perhaps they can Say here I ment one there another man And by their names they wil not stick to shew them When as perhaps I nere so much as knew them So from my honest meaning they will reare them A slander for some priuat grudge they beare them But though these are so bold yet I beleeue Or hope at least no men of wisedome giue Credit to any such interpretations That are but false imaginations Since each of these what stile soere he craue Doth show him a presumptuous foole and knaue But heare all you that are quite voyd of care VVhat you presume in chiefly you that dare Maugre Gods threates go foreward to fulfill Your naughty rash vnbridled hare-braine will As if you thought that you your selues made all And that indeed there were no God at al. Know this ere long time it shall come to passe That you shall houling sit and cry alas Cursing your births and miserable state VVith sad repentance when it is too late Vnlesse you now take time Oh wormes oh men Forsake your sollies oh forsake them then VVhat wil you do else when that seiz'd by death Ready to draw the latest gaspe of breath VVhen as you are so weak that you would faine But cannot mooue your tongues for to complaine VVhat would you do if then their should appeare The Authors of most miserable feare Your guilty Consciences and there vnroll To your remembrances the dreadfull scroll Of your Presumptions and with all present â— vision of th ' infernall punishment â—repar'd for such And if in that bad case You should behold him you esteemd so base â—t with such power that at each frown he makes â—he earth doth tremble and the heauen shakes VVhat would you doe Oh any thing I 'me sure â—o paine there is but you would then endure To scape his wrath if you do not dispaire Then wil you beg entreat and promise faire Or any thing if so it were you might Returne to life againe then you would quite Alter your doings then forsooth you 'l be A patterne vnto all posterity You would be humble meeke deuout and chaste But now there 's time and then it may be past Yet I my selfe haue heard those that haue vow'd Much in their anguish and God hath allow'd A longer time yea hath vouchsaft to saue And giue them life againe e'ne at the graue And yet haue these forgot their former paine And turnd vnto their owne ill wayes againe Which hauing seene this for vs men I 'le speake Not without griefe though nothing be so weake Yet we are in our owne conceits so tall That for presumption we do out-passe all And if so be that this same hardning sinne Do seaze vpon the heart once and get in My mind is this 't will nere be purg'd thence well No not with all the feares and pangs of Hell EPILOGVS SO in some measure I haue now made knowne What foule abuses Time to me hath showne And what man is I haue explain'd some Crimes That I haue noted in these present times Then though I haue beene stil accounted idle This showes I haue not giuen time the bridle To run away vnmannag'd But did vse it Then best when I seem'd most for to abuse it Here sinfull man thou maist behold in part Thy miserable state and what thou art Thy Passions thy vanities heere see In part I say for all there cannot be Thy wauerings and thy frailties I 'ue explain'd With thy Presumption yet nothing fain'd If thou hast read it then I hope thou know'st Though thou seem'st bad thou art worse then thou show'st And I do trust thy wretchednesse espide Will quell thy most intollerable pride I mus'd a while thou wert so prone to sinning But 't was thy fault I see from the beginning And as the Lord himselfe once said so stil T' immaginations of thy heart are ill That 's
villany To make them smart these wordes to them commend That beggery and shame shall be their end Yet thou shalt find depending on the Court Some that wil ieast to make their betters sport But sift them I durst pawne a brace of testers If truth were known they are more fooles then Iesters And so they are suppos'd although indeed They are more knaues then fooles but take thou heed Come not within the compasse of their Bable Then call them knaues as lowd as thou art able If thou come thither at some publike show As there thou shalt be whether they will or no Remember that thou make a shift to creepe Neere to the place where they the Reâ—els keep There stand a while vnseene and do no more But note those fellowes that do keep the doore If thou perceiue some as some will do then Keep out a many worthy Gentlemen And let a Laundresse or a Scoundrel passe Giue him a ierk and tell him hee 's an asse But least thou spy what may make thee asham'd Or speake of that for which thou maist be blam'd Leaue thou the Court if thy owne ease thou pitty And come a while to walke about the Citty As soone as there thou ent'rest thou shalt meet Great store of Gallants pacing out the street A part from dice or fence or dancing come And peraduenture from a whore-house some Those are goodfellowes that will frankly spend While land will last or any man wil lend And yet to see more fooles the world had neuer They are so proud as if 't t would last for euer And though these lightly cannot haue a worse Or deadlier sicknes then an empty purse Which wil ensue yet tell them they must meete At the Kinges-bench the Counter or the Fleet Then step vnto the Lawyers peraduentnre They 'l by some VVrit command thee not to enter Yet feare them not but looke and thou shalt spye Vnder their gownes a messe of Knauery Pluck off their mask of law that clokes their drifts And thou shalt see a world of lawlesse shirâ—s But tell them there 's a iudge wil not be feed And that perhaps wil make their conscience bleed Then tell the Scriueners as thou passest by That they were best to leaue their forgery Or else why is 't their eares do scape so well The Diuell meanes to beare them whole to hell Tell the Phisitions if thou meet with any Their Potions their Drugs haue murther'd many For which thou would'st haue lasht but dost delay them Because the diuel means himselfe to pay theÌ„ But if thei 'l proue conclusions bid them then Try't on themselues and not on other men Desire the Brokers that they would not yaune After the forfeit of anothers pawne It is their right by law thei le say t is true And so 's their soule perhaps anothers due But sting them if their conscience quite be fled Then shall they pay what they haue forfeited Entreat the Tailor next if that he can To leaue his theft and proue an honest man If that he think the matter be too hard Knock him about the noddle with his yard If he bee ritch and take the same in snuffe Tell him his substance is but stolen stuffe And that the Iay would hardly brook the weather If eu'ry Bird should take away her feather So hauing whipt him let the Priest go shrieue him And if he haue authority forgiue him Go warn the Crafts man that he do not lurke All day at ale-house and neglect his worke And then suruey the ware of euery trade For much I tell thee is deceitfull made Which if thou find I charge thee do not friend it But call him knaue and bid him go and mend it Oh see if thou the Marchant-man canst find For hee le be gone at turning of the wind Bid him keep touch or tell his worship how His heart wil tremble when the Seas are tough Desire him to if he doe trauaile thither Where Conscience is that he would bring some hither Here 's little some wil haue it if none will He shall gaine by it though he keepe it still If he bring none 't were Charitie I thinke To pray some storme might make his vessell sinke Looke in their ships for I haue knowne deceit Hath bin in both the Owner and the fraight Yea note them well thou shalt finde their bookes Are ginns for wood-cocks made like tenter-hooks Well they are ritch the Marchant wealth obtaines And cares not how so he encrease his gaines Yet least his wealth may hap to make him proud Satyr I pray thee tell him this aloude To make him smart that whilst he like a mome Playes fast abroad his wife plaâ—es loose at home Nor shall his ill-got masse of wealth hould out But he or his become a banquerout Now to thy rest t is night but here approaches A troupe with torches hurried in their Coaches Stay and behold what are they I can tell Some bound for Shoreditch or for Clarken-well Oh these are they which thinke that Fornication Is but a youthfull sportfull recreation These to hold out the game maintaine the back VVith marrow pies potato-rootes and sack And when that Nature hath consum'd her part Can hould out a Luxurious course by art Goe stop the horses quickly least thou misse And tel the Coachmans wanton carriage this They of their guide must be aduised well For they are running downe the hill to hell Their Venery will soone consume their stocks And bring them to repentance with a poxe So other crimes committed without light Let such reueale as see like Owles by night For many men a secret fault can finde But in apparant rougeries are blind Or else they will not see but thou wertst best Leaue whipping and betake thee to thy rest If in an Inne it be before thou sup Will that the Tapster call his maister vp And bid him kindly since he giues thee lodging To vse plaine dealing and detest all dodging Dissembling's naught hard rekonings they ar worsâ— Light gaines they say will make a heauy purse And let them not this fault is very rife Make any guest familiar with his wife For many men they weare but what they should Do make their wiues more wantoÌ„ then they would Thereby they gaine their Innes are wel frequented But such ill courses are too late repented So schoole him well and do thy whip refraine And send him to his other guests againe Then thou shalt see the nimble Tapster flie Still yalling here anon sir by and by So dilligent till thou thy selfe acquaint With his â—ly tricks thou 'lt â—'take him for a Saint But I suppose that they haue tane an oth Neuer to â—â—ll a pot but halfe with froth And there 's an old shift if they leaue it not There must be something added to the shot But wilt thou swagger with him for it no But take him as he is and let him goe Now for most hostlers if thou hap to try
are good Shall find acceptance there though they seeme rudâ— Looke and hehold the Vanities of men Their Misery their Weaknesse and their Pride Daigne to suruey this booke I say and then VVhen you haue each particular espi'de Thinke with your selfe how highly blest you be For to enioy a Prince that both knowes how To keepe himselfe from such fell Passion free And make so many mad-wild creatures bow Indeed here 's Vices tablet plainely made Not veiled ouer or obscurely drawne T is in a colour which shall neuer fade That men may blush on such a hag to fawne But if your Grace will fauour what I sing Though Vertue be in durance I le erpreeue her That now despised Nimph to honour bring Set al her hidden beauties forth and giue her So sweet a looke and such a deft attire Men shal grow loue-sick and burne with desire To CHARLES Prince of Wales EPIG 4. SEE here faire Of-spring of the royall Stem What all the world almost is subiect to Behold it so thou truely maist contemne And from thy heart abhorre what others doe Now is the fit and only time to season That young rare-vnderstanding breast of thine VVith sacred precepts good aduise and reason But there 's no doubt thou wilt to good incline Inheritance great Prince will make it thine And were Mans nature yet more prone to fall Soe to be borne and so taught helpes all To the Princesse EPIG 5. SWeet Princesse though my Muse sings not the glories Of faire aduenterous Knights or Ladies loues Though here be no Encomiastick storâ—es That tender hearts or gentle Spirits moues Yet in an honest homelie Rustick straine She shews the Creature such may you nere know Forgiue her though she be seuere or plaine Truth that may warrant it commanded so Yea view it ouer with beleefe but than I am afraid you will abhor a man And yet you need not All deserue not blame For that great Prince that wooes for to be yours If that his worth but equalize his fame Is free from any Satâ—r here of ours Nay they shall praise him for though they haue whips To make the wicked their offences rue And dare to scourge the greatest when he trips Vertue shall still be certaine of her due But for your sake if that you entertaine him Oh would he were a man as I could faine him Yet sweet Elizabeth that happy Name If we lost nothing else by loosing thee So deare to Engâ—and is we are to blame If without teares and sighes we parted be But if thou must make blest another Clime Remember Our and for that though I vse A crabbed subiect and a Churlish Rime Daine but to be the Mistris of my Muse And I le change Theames and in a lofty stile Keepe thee aliue for euer in this I le To the Lords of his Maiesties most honorable Priuy Counsell EPIGR. 6. MOst Honor'd Lords I heere present this book To your graue censures not to shew my Art Nere did you on so rude a matter looke Yet t is the token of an honest heart I did it not to please nor flatter any Nor haue I made it for the thirst of gaine For I am sure it wil not humor many And I expect much hatred for my paine Here somthing you may see that now requires Your care and prouidence to haue 't amended That 's the maine poynt to which my Muse aspires And whereto I haue all my labour tended It may be there be some out of their hate Will mis-interpret what is plainely ment Or tax me as too saucy with the State In hope to make me for the Truth be â—hent Yet know Great Lords I do acknowledge heere It is your wisdomes that next God maintaines This Kingdomes good And from my heart I beareâ— A reuerent respect vnto your paines I do not as such faine would haue it seeme Presume to teach your wisedomes what is best I do not my owne knowledge so esteeme Vile selfe conceit I from my heart detest But for because I know the percing'st eye Can neuer into all abuses see And since the greatest in Authority May not behold some-time so much as we What therefore I haue thought to be amisse And worth amending I haue told it heere I know your Honors wil be pleas'd in this Though some it may be cannot rage forbeare But if there 's any take this writing badly Had it told all it would haue vext him madly To Henry Earle of South-hampton EPIGR. 7 SOuth-hampton since thy Prouince brought me forthâ— And on those pleasant mountaines I yet keepe â—ought to be no stranger to thy worth Nor let thy Vertues in obliuion sleepe Nor wil I if my fortunes giue me time Meane while read this and see what others be â—f thou canst lik 't and wil but grace my Râ—me â—wil so blaze thy Hampshire springs and thee Thy Arle Test Stowre and Auon shal share Fame Either with Humber Seuerne Trent or Thame To William Earle of Penbrooke EPIG 8. THou whom respect of kin makes not vniust True Noble Spirit free from hate or guile â—hou whom thy Prince hath for thy care and trust â—â—ac't for to keepe the entrance of this I le â—e heere th' abuses of these wicked Times â—haue expos'd them open to thy view â—hy iudgement is not blinded with like crimes 〈◊〉 therefore maist perceiue that all is true â—Take't though I seeme a stranger yet I know thee â—nd for thy vertues Penbrooke this I owe thee To the Lord Lisle Lord Chamberlaine to the Queene EPIGRAM 9. BEing a Sidney and so neere allied To him whose matchlesse rare immortall pen Procur'd of Fame to haue him deifide And liue for euer in the hearts of men The loue my soule hath euer borne that name Would certainely perswade me for your sake In honest seruice to aduenture blame Or any open dangers vndertake Yet shall not that your titles nor your place Your honours nor your might nor all you haue Cause me to flatter for reward or grace Fortune shall neuer make my mind a slaue But seeing that your Vertue shines apparant And honorable acts do speake your praise Since Good Report hath giuen forth her warrant Which none so much as by himselfe gaine-saies That and naught else but that compels my Muse To sing your worth and to present her Owne If this imperfect issue you 'le peruse I le make her in a better forne be knowne And teach her that is now so rude and plaine To soare a pitch aboue the common straine To the Lady Mary Wroth. EPIGR. 10. MAdame to call you best or the most faire The Vertu'st and the wisest in our daies Is now not commendations worth a haire For that 's become to be each hus-wifes praise There 's no degree below Superlatiue VVill serue some soothing Epigrammatists The Worst they praise exceeds Comparatiue And Best can get no more out of their fists But Arts sweet Louer vnto whom know There is no happie Muse
this day remaines That doth not for your Worth and bounty owe Euen himselfe his best and sweetest straines Vouchsafe to let this booke your fauour finde And as I heare haue Mans abuses showne I le with like iust and vncorrupted minde So make your true vnfained Vertues knowne While others false praise shall in one's mouth be All shall commend you in the high'st degree To Sir Thomas Ridgeway Knight Barronet Treasurer of Ireland EPIGR. 11. SIR you first grac't and gratifi'd my Muse Which nere durst try til then what she could do That which I did vnto my selfe was newes A matter I was little vs'd vnto Had you those first endeauours not approou'd I should for euer more haue silence kept But now your good encouragement hath moou'd And rous'd my Spirits that before time slept For which I vow'd a guift that should be better Accept this for 't and I le be still your debtor Here you shall see the Images of men More sauage then the wildest Irish kerne Abuses whipt and stript and whipt agen I know your Iudgement can the Truth discerne Now so you will thinke well of this my Rime I 'ue such a mind yet to Saint Patrickes Ile That if my Fate and Fortunes giue me time I hope for to reuisit you a while And make those sparkes of honour to flame high That rak't vp in obliuions cinders lie To his Father EPIGR. 12. OThers may glorie that their Fathers hands Haue scrapt together mighty summes of gold Boast in the circuit of new purchast lands Or heards of cattell more then can be told God giue them ioy their wealth I le nere enuy For you haue gotten me a greater store And though I haue not their prosperitie In my conceit I am not halfe so poore You learn't me with a little to content me Shew'd how to bridle passion in some measure And through your meanes I haue a Talent lent me VVhich I more valew then all Indies treasure For when the al-most boundlesse patrimonies Are wasted those by which our great ones trust To be eterniz'd when their Ceremonies Shall be forgotten and their toombes be dust Then to the glorie of your future line Your owne and my friends sacred memorie This litle poore despised wealth of mine Shall raise a Trophee of eternitie Which fretting enuy nor consuming time Shall ere abolish or one whit offend A toplesse Statue that to starres shall clime Far greater then your Art shall comprehend But I must needs confesse t is true I yet Reape little profit in the eyes of men My Tallent yeelds small outward benefit Yet I le not leaue it for the world agen Though 't bring no gaine that you by artful sleight Can measure out the earth in part or whole Sound out the Centers depth and take the height Either of th' Artick or Antartick pole Yet t is your pleasure it contentment brings And so my Muse is my content and ioy I would not misse her to be ranckt with Kings How euer some account it is a toy But hauing then and by your meanes obtaind So rich a patrimony for my share For which with linkes of loue I 'me euer chaind VVhat duties fitting for such bounties are Moreouer Nature brought me in your debt And still I owe you for your cares and feares Your paines and charges I doe not forget Beside the interest of manie yeares VVhat waie is there to make requitall for it Much I shall leaue vnpaid doe what I can Should I be then vnthankefull I abhorre it The Will maie serue when Power wants in man This booke I giue you then heere you shall finde Somewhat to counteruaile your former cost It is a little Index of my mind Time spent in reading it will not be lost Accept it and when I haue to my might Paid all I can to you if powers diuine Shall so much in my happiâ—es delight To make you Grandsire to a sonne of mine Looke what remaines and may by right be due I 'le pay it him as 't was receiud from you Your louing Sonne George Wither To his mother EPIG 13. VNgrateful is the child that can forget The Mother 's many paines her cares her feares And therefore though I cannot pay the debt Due for the smallest drop of your kind teares This Booke I for acknowledgement do giue you Wherein you may perceiue my heart my mind Let neuer false report of me more grieue you And you shall sure no iust occasion find Loue made you apt to feare those slanders true Which in my absence were but lately sowne It was a motherly distrust in you But those that raisd them are false villaines known For though I must confesse I am indeed The vilest to my selfe that liues this time Yet to the world ward I 'ue tane such heed There 's none can spot me with a hainous crime This I am forct to speake you best know why Wherer's that man liuing that dare say I lye To his deare friend Maister Thomas Cranly EPIGR. 14. BRother for so I call thee not because Thou wert my Fathers or my Mothers sonne Nor consanguinity nor wedlock lawes Could such a kindred twixt vs haue begun We are not of one blood nor yet name neither Nor sworn in brotherhood with ale house quarts We neuer were so much as drunke together T was no such slight acquaintance ioynd our harts But a long knowledge with much trial did it Which for to chuse a friend are good directions And though we lou'd both well at first both hid it Till 't was discouered by a like affections Since which thou hast ore-gon me far in showing The Office of a friend do 't stil and spare not Lo heere 's a Memorandum for what 's owing But know for all thy kind respect I care not Vnlesse thou 'lt show how I may seruice do thee Then I wil sweare I am beholding to thee Thine G. VV. To his louing friend and Cousen-German M. WILLIAM WITHER EPIGR. 15. IF that the Standerds of the house bewray What Fortunes to the owners may betide Or if their Destinies as some men say Be in the names of any signifi'd T is so in thine for that faire antique shield Borne by thy Predecessors long agoe Depainted with a cleere pure Argâ—nt field The innocency of thy line did show Three sable Crescents with a Cheueron gul'de Tel's that black fates obscur'd our howses light Because the Planet that our fortunes rul'd Lost her owne lustre and was darkned quite And as inded our aduersaries say The very name of VVither showes decay But yet despaire not keep thy white vnstain'd And then it skills not what thy Crescents be What though the Moone be now increas't now wain'd Learne thence to know thy lifes inconstancy Be carefull as thou hitherto hast beene To shun th' abuses Man is tax't for heere And then thy soule that 's now ecclips'd with sin When Moone and Sun are darkned shal look cleere And what soer'e thy English name may threat The a Haruests sonne the Greekes entitle thee Ere thou shalt waÌ„t thy a Hâ—re wil bring thee meat And to kill care her selfe thy make-sport be Yea yet though Enuies mists do make them dull I hope to see the wained Orbes at full For the better vnderstaâ—â—ing of this Epigram note that his Armes are in a field argent a Cheuron Gules betwixt three crescents sable his name accordâ—ng to the Greekes is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and his Crest is a Hare with threâ— wheat eares in her mouth To his Schoole-maister Maister Iohn Greaues EPIGR. 16. I Feuer I doe wish I maie be rich As oft perhaps such ilde breath I spend I doe it not for any thing so much As for to haue wherewith to pay my friend For trust me there is nothing grieues me more Then this that I should still much kindnes take And haue a Fortune to my mind so poore That though I would amends I cannot make Yet for to be as thankefull as I maie Snce my estate no better meanes affords VVhat I in deed receiue I doe repaie In willingnes in thankes and gentle words Then though your loue doth well deserue to haue Better requitals then are in my power Knowing you 'l nothing vltra posse craue Here I haue brought you some Essaies of our You may thinke much perhaps since ther 's so many Learn'd Graduates that haue your pupils beene I who am none and more vnfit then any Should first presume in publike to be seene But you doe know those horses in the teeme That with their worke are ablest to goe through Seldome so forward as blind Bayard seeme Or giue so many twitches to the plough And so though they may better their intent Is not perhaps for to be fooles is print To the captious Reader VVHat thou maist say or thinke it is no matte But if thou busily imagine here Since most of these are mighty that I flatter Know sacred Iustice is to me so deare Did not their Vertues in my thoughts thus raâ—â—ther To get an Empire by them I 'de not praise theâ—â— FINIS