Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
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A29789
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The reasons of Mr. Joseph Hains the player's conversion & re-conversion being the third and last part to the dialogue of Mr. Bays.
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Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704.
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1690
(1690)
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Wing B5071; ESTC R7766
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34,548
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37
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comfort Mr. Bays your Book was carried with a great deal of Triumph to the Vatican where it is shown to all strangers along with King Harry's Letter to Ann Bolein and his treatise against Luther Besides it was the common discourse of the Town a little before I left the place that the Pope design'd to employ a Celebrated Workman to Carve a Hind and Panther in Marble and in order to preserve the memory of their Immortal Conference to place their Statues on each side the two famous Horses in Monte Cavallo Bays This mighty honour that you tell me has been done to my works has thrown me into such a transport of Joy that I fancy it wou'd be convenient to take a Dose of Diascordium before I go to bed to prevent a Fever and all that pray give me your advice Mr. Hains Hains What I am going about to tell you will save you the expence of your Diascordium and all that Indeed the more curious inquisitive Persons at Rome that had found out your Character and manner of Conversation that had informed themselves of the Author of the Religio Laici and the Spanish Friar were of opinion that for all your pretensions to be a Convert you deserved only to be honestly damn'd for your pains for I must tell you Mr. Bays the good natur'd Church of Rome is as little inclin'd to forgive a man that has once affronted her as a Lady of the Town that grudges to have the least mite of Conjugal Benevolence bestowed elsewhere is to pardon her poor Husband that she has found trespassing with one of her Maids in the Garret And now I have been so free as to acquaint thee with what that part of the World as I resided in thought of thy Conversion prithee tell me what they said of mine here in England Bays Why I'faith Mr. Hains you and I have had the worst luck of any two Converts in the Universe We cou'd get no body breathing to believe one syllable of our Conversion as for your self though a Missionary from Heaven had come on purpose to attest the sincerity of your change it had never passed They remembred you palm'd a Count upon the French King formerly in your younger days and so they concluded that from the same principle of mirth and diversion you were resolved to palm a Convert upon the Pope and Cardinals in your Old Age. But letting alone such a foolish disquisition prithee proceed in the History of your Conversion Hains You are to understand then Mr. Bays that in coming from Algiers where I had the honour to Dance before threescore and sive Turkish Women at a Renegadoes Wedding to Malta we were becalm'd at Sea for the space of a Week and upwards during which time whether it happen'd through the excessive heat of the Season or the Iniquity of my Youth or both I was troubled with a mighty tumour in my left Arm which the next Night after threw me into a violent Calenture Bays Poor Rogue I pity thy condition with all my heart Hains After some outward and inward Medicines applied to no purpose at last the Surgeon and Chaplain of the Ship no I beg your pardon I should have said the Chaplain and Surgeon of the Ship Bays I don 't like that Conjunction Mr. Hains 't is a foreboding augury let me tell you A Chaplain and a Surgeon to a sick man 't is like the Conjunction of a hard Jury and a worse Judge to a Prisoner at the Bar. Hains They came into my Cabin and in a very mournful tone told me We'd advise you Mr. Hains to make up your Accompts with this World as soon as you can you cannot expect to live four and twenty hours longer in this at the farthest therefore we counsel you to think of Eternity and prepare your self for another Station Bays That word Prepare your self for another Station when you had no mind to quit your present Post was I don't question full as mortifying a Summons to thee my Noble Comedian as it would be to a young unsighting Tradesman of the New-rais'd Regiment of Horse to leave his pretty Employment and pretty Wise at home and be sent to starve at his own cost and charges in Ireland Hains Nay I must confess I received the News with no very great alacrity of Spirit for I had leisure enough to reflect on all my Juvenile Frolicks and Excursions and hoped my Stars would be so civil to me as to allow me a longer time to Adjust my Accompts As my good Fortune order'd the matter there happen'd to be a certain Calabrian Gentleman in the Ship who was going to pay his Devoir to the Grand Master of Malta that was his Cousin German Bays Now thou revivest me dear Rogue I'faith I was going to give thee over for lost and then I am sure all the Veneres Cupidinesque all the pretty soft Graces of the Theatre had departed along with thee Hains His Name which I shall never forget was Signor Pietro Leandro the sweetest most obliging Gentleman that I had ever the Honour to converse with he coming to give me a visit in this extremity in the first place asked me what Religion I was of Bays And that I am afraid was as difficult a question for thee to resolve as it would be to a modern Latitudinarian or Alteration-man to answer what Church he 's most enclin'd to the Establish'd or the Fanatick Hains Sir said I for your comfort you 'll find me of what Religion you please I am at your service recommend me to what Perswasion you think convenient My soul 's as to that affair a clean sheet of Paper a meer Tabula Rasa therefore Sir you may impress any Characters in the world upon it whether Christian or Mahumetan Iew or Pagan 't is all a case to your poor distressed servant Bays And what said your Noble Calabrian to all this I prithee Hains He shook his Head and seem'd as much surpized at the Confession I made him as the Ordinary of Newgate is at an old breaker's History of his Debaucheries at last he asked me what Profession I was of and in what Religion my Parents had Educated me To this I reply'd that in my present Character I was Secretary to the English Embassador who was bound for Constantinople that I had served the Stage in Quality of a Player and Prologue-maker some twenty years That if I belong'd to any Religion it was to the Reformation but to what branch of it I no more knew than a new comer to London Mr. Bays knows what Ward or Aldermans Jurisdisction he lives under Bays I shall certainly dye with laughing at this pleasant passage but pray continue the discourse Hains That I had the Charity to believe my Father took care to get me Baptized when I was an Infant the only time when he was capable of managing me but that by reason of my continual business in the World I never had time to consult