The Schoolemaster or Teacher of Table Philosophie A most pleasant and merie companion wel worthy to be welcomed for a dayly Gheast not onely to all mens boorde to guyde them with moderate holsome dyet but also into euery mans companie at all tymes to recreate their mindes with honest mirth and delectable deuises to sundrie pleasant purposes of pleasure and pastyme Gathered out of diuers the best approued Auctours and deuided into foure pithy and pleasant Treatises as it may appeare by the contentes ⧠Imprinted at London by Richarde Jones dwelling oueragaynst S. Sepulchers Church without Newgate 1576. ⧠The Printers preamble to al estates for the friendly entertaynment of this Teacher of Table Philosophie YOu worthy wights that hautie halles do hold Whose tables sundrie states do dayly haunt Giue leaue my Lords this Teacher may be bold To prease in place and shew him selfe a flaunt Amongst your merie gheasts of sere sundry sort To play his merie partes in playn pleasant sport What though his phrase stile be rudely framd His fruits are furthering to your healthes auayle To deale in dayly dyet although he may be blamd To tell his minde therin he doeth not fayle To shew the diuers kinds of euery meat and drinke Bread broath flesh fish or what you els can thinke Yea more then this he meaneth for to show Among the states your table round about Demeanour meet from hie vnto the low For ech degree to teach he doeth not doubt The Prince the page the Gentle and the slaue To serue his proper turne example heere may haue Diuines perhaps wyll hearken to his tale The warlyke knight the Squire the souldier hâ—ld The marchant eke that makes the merie sale The lawier to that pleads the case for gold The Ladie bright will heare when he doeth speak The widow wyfe chyld mayd lame blind weak His problemes fine wil somwhat please you all And queint demaundes so pithie in ech poinct His iestes I knowe will please both great small And hit your veyne and nick you on the ioinct What so you be or where you do soiourne This pleasant pithy booke wyll surely serue your turne Then bid him welcome Gentles all and say Come merie Gheast come neare and sit thee down Vndoe thy packe show foorth we do thee pray Such newes as may vs mery make in field town Thus him to you I leaue to see what he can show For doubtlesse I to ioy your mindes this trauaile dyd bestow FINIS To the right worshipfull M. Alexander Nowell Deane of the Cathedrall Churche of S. Paules in London Grace and peace from God c. RIght worshipful hauing by chance happened on this Pamflet comming vnto my hands both without name and orderly beginning I did not onely peruse it my self according to my simple skil but shewed it also vnto some of my freends of whose learning Iudgement very many haue good opinion and beeing therto sufficiently willing of my self I was by them and others exhorted to publish the same in print for that it seemed to containe nothing els but holesome diet sauced with honest mirth and pleasant pastimes and interlaced with pithy and effectual examples tending vnto the aduauÌ„cement of vertue and suppression of vice a fit meane to delight and recreate the weake specially the ouer weryed spirits of Studients Now calling vnto my remembrance which I cannot forget the manifolde benefits curtesies at all times by your worship bestowed on me mine aswel in calliÌ„g me moste vnworthy not a few times vnto your table as otherwise the least part wherof I am not able of my self to recoÌ„pence my good wil not wanting but mine abilitie fayling I haue now presumed to offer this poore present vnto you comming from an vnfained hart partely the trauaile of another man but the testimony of my harty affection hoping that your worship wil accept it in the better part the rather because I haue perceiued you among other graue and waightie matters aswel of Religion as otherwise to solace your self and others at your Table with seemly mirth in opportunities vttered according to the knowledge and capacitie of those your poore neighbours and others with whom your bourd is alwaies furnished either coÌ„cerning the qualities of meats or their vsages in forrain coÌ„tries to the great delectation of the hearers To the which purpose there is much matter set down in this present work as also to other effect wherein if there shal be any thing founde not conuenient for your learned view and seuere Iudgement I hartely craue your worships pardon protesting that the same is not written for so graue eares but desirous to please all sortes in honest delight I thought it good not to leaue out any thing but to admonish that who so shall not so well like of some trifling tales of this book in the fourth part he may sufficieÌ„tly recreate himself in the other .iii. parts Thus much hauing been ouer bolde to vtter my minde vnto your worship presuming vpon your accustomed humanitie there remaineth no more but that I commend you vnto the tuition of the almightie who alwaies keepe you and yours and send you now a mery new yeer and many to his good pleasure and glory Amen Your worships to commaunde This first booke of Table Philosophie sheweth the nature and qualitie of all manner meates drinkes and sawces that are vsed at meales ACcording to the saying of Macrobius It were a very vnseemely thing that Philosophie which intreateth curiously in bookes of dueties behauiour at feastes should be afearde to shew her self also at feastes as who should say shee would not auouch that in deedes which shee professeth in words Or that shee could keepe no meane or measure who only prescribeth the meane and measure her self vnto al humane affaires Neither do I now welcome her to my table to thintent shee should moderate herself whose order of instruction is to teach all other how to moderate and gouerne themselues And shortly after in the same place he sayth VVherfore such a kinde of Philosophie there is no goodman no place nor companie that wyll exclude it which so behaueth it self in euerie respect that it seemeth to be necessarie in euerie place as though it were vnlawfull it should be absent Then forasmuch as moderate Philosophie ought to be present at the table and feastes of the wise and learned euerie goodman must vse the same both for to profite delight others For as the same Macrobius writeth our talke ought to be merie at the table more poudred with pleasure the sauced with seueritie And our communication at the boorde as it ought to be faier with honestie so must it be pleasant with delight VVherfore it is generally expedient that all table talke be either concerning the nature qualitie of the meates and drinkes wherof we feede or of table questions wherwith we may be made merie and sturred vp to mirth at the
Poyson or Pestilence The Fildbeards after Rhasis are not so hotte as the other Nuttes are but are heauier and are good agaynst the stynging of Scorpions And Serapion saieth of them that if Fildbeards bée roasted with a litle Pepper and eaten they ripen the Catarre or Rewme Cheastnuts as Constantinus writeth are wyndie they mooue to the acte of the fleash they yéeld mutch nutriment they are hard of digestion and therfore accordin◠vnto the counsell of Isaac they must bee rosted that their éeuell facultye may bée therby amended and their substance rarified Then do they aswage the drinesse of the breast and all the body and moderate the difficulty of makinge water The Acorne also according to the same auctour béeinge disobedient vnto digestion bindeth the belly but prouoketh vrine and they do nourish Beaten into pouder and the pouder laide vpon the Vuula drieth vp the rotten humours that vse to haunte and hurt the same Cap. 30. Of Spices PEpper by the aucthority of Rhasis helpeth to concoct the meat well and dissolueth windines and beeing very hot heateth the stomack and liuer and hurteth hot bodies especially in Summer Ginger also according to the same Aucthour is hot and moist and in helping concoction is profitable for those whose stomacks and Liuers are colde It amendeth the dimnesse of sight rising of moisture and as Auicen writeth it augmenteth the memory and clenseth the moisture of the head and throat Zeadoarie according to the same Auicen is a triacle or preseruatiue against all poisons and as saith Constantinus if consumeth the swelling by winde and comforteth the stomack it prouoketh the appetite taketh away that stinking of the mouth through eating garlik and according to Macrobius aswageth the heat of the wine which wee haue drunken Galingale likewise as writeth Auicen is hot and drye it resolueth windines maketh the mouth sauour well helpeth the stomacke concocteth the meate augmenteth defier to weemen and cureth the paine of the kidneis Cloues also saith hée are hot and dry in the their degree they make the body smell well they sharpen the sight they comfort the stomacke and Liuer Cinamom after ▪ the opinion of Rhasis is hot and dry which in strengthning mutch helpeth the stomacke liuer it causeth good concoction and expelleth windines Also saith Isaac it openeth oppilacions and prouoketh the termes Saffron likewise saith hée beeing hot and dry in the first degrée comforteth the stomack openeth the stopping of the Liuer helpeth them that are shortwinded and comforteth the weake partes And Rhasis thus speaketh of Saffron in his Almansor A certen woman saith hee was very long in labour of childe bed and could not bee deliuered And I gaue vnto her one dramme of Saffron and immediatly shée was deliuered and this haue I tried often And béeing drunken in wine it is of singular force to make one merie Plinie in his seconde booke saith whoso drinketh Saffron firste shall not feele any surfet and a crowne made therof and put vpon the head releaseth drunkennesse Carawaies according vnto Constantine is hot and dry in the third degrée it dissolueth winde it strengthneth the stomack it killeth woormes it helpeth concoction and prouoketh vrine Chap. 31. Of Certen Sauces MUstard is hot and dry in the middes of the fourth degrée it drieth vp the moisture of the head and stomack And Auicen writeth some say quod hee that if one that is fastinge drinke it it maketh a good vnderstanding and it clenseth the humours of the head And Plinie saith in the second booke that musterdseede prepared with vineger driueth forth grauell Salt saith Rhasis is hot and dry it taketh lothsomnes from meates and maketh the tast sharpe and it prouoketh the appetite But whoso eateth salt in any great quantity it causeth mutch adustion in the blood it weakneth the eie sight it diminisheth naturall seede and ingendreth the itche Venigre according to the same aucthour is colde and drye making a man leane weakning the powers it diminisheth the séede it strengthneth Melancholye and weakneth red choler and blood and maketh the meat subtile and fine wherwith it is receiued Honie as saith Isaac in the second booke is hot and dry in the second degree it taketh awaye the cause why the body cannot bee nourished and altereth the éeuell disposition vnto better and expelleth the aboundaunce of éeuell humours out of the pores and clenseth the filth of the veines and therfore is very agréeable vnto them that are cold and moist of Nature and vnto old men And vnto hot complexions it is as poyson for it is soone conuerted into choller If it be turned into the warmnes of blood it maketh it the warmer So that Honie being eaten raw ingendreth windines and maketh a man to swell bréedeth the roughnesse of the throat and prouoketh vnto vomite and siege Oyle Oliue as Plinius writeth in the fourth booke maketh euery body soft which it toucheth giueth force and strength restraineth al manner of poysons driueth away payne looseth the belly clenseth the face appeaseth the swelling cléereth the eiesight helpeth the headach and aswageth the heate of Feuers The Oyle of Nuts saith Rhasis is very hot and dissoluing and according vnto Auicen it is good against the ringwoorme inflamacions and pustles in any part of the eie The Oyle of Almondes after Rhasis is temperate and is good for the Breast Lunges Bladder and Kidneis but if it be eaten it bréedeth lothsumnesse and departeth slowly out of the Stomack And as saith Dioscorides if it be mingled with Honie it taketh away that spots in the face maketh smooth the skarres where wounds haue bin it clenseth the mistines of the eies and taketh away the skales from the skin Oyle of Poppie is to be iudged of according to the nature of Poppie wherof we intreated in the Chapter last goyng beefore And thus endeth the first Booke the contents wherof I haue gathered out of the best approued Aucthours ¶ FINIS ¶ The second booke of Table Phylosophy which speaketh of the manners béehauiour and vsedge of all sutch with whom wee may happen to bee conuersant at the TABLE The Preface HAuing ended the discourse concerning the Nature of Meates and Drynkes which are set before vs vpon the Table it followeth now that wee say sumwhat touchinge the Manners and conditions of whom wee be matched at the Boorde For as saith Macrobius in the third Booke of his Saturnalia There is no part of wisdome so great as to applie a mans talke to the place and time hauing a regarde to the estimacion and calling of those that are present For some will be incouraged with examples of Vertue other with good turnes and some with the commendation of Modestie that sutch as haue vsed themselues otherwise and hearing the same may amende their liues And therfore as touching them with whom we be set at the
common woman or as they terme them a good fellow And likewise Pompeius that ouercame welnigh the whole world had an incontinent Lady to his wife Cato also which was called Censorinus married a very baggage of a meane parentage yet was she a shrew and a whore and that more strange is proud and saucy to her Lord and husband Iustinus the abridger of Torgus Pompeus writeth that when Grippus which was sun to Deme. had recouered his Fathers dominions had quite ended al forrein dangers he was afterward assaulted by the treason of his owne gréedy mother Who for the desire that shee had to reigne hauing betrayed one of her sunnes and by that horible déede puttinge of all motherly affection supposed now that her dignitie and honour was mutch embased by the conquest and renowme of her other child Wherefore vpon a time she watched opportunity and preparing a cup of deadly poyson presented him therewith when he came hot and thirsty from exercise But her attempt tooke contrary effect For Grippus as it were offeringe dutyfull courtesie to his mother desired her to begin vnto hym At the last he vrged her so far that he found out great proofes of her purpose wherewith the Quéene béeing ouercome and turning the mischeif vnto her self died with the poysoned potion which she had prouided for her sunne Chap. 29 Of maried Weemen VAlerius writeth in the fourth booke and third Chapter that when Iulia who was daughter vnto Caesar wife to Pompeius the great beehelde her Lorde and Husbandes Gowne brought home all bloody out of the féelde beinge stroken with sudden feare that some violence had befallen vnto him fell downe in a swonde and was delyuered of Childe beefore her time not with out great losse and detriment of the whole Empire And Cecilius Balbus in the place before recited writeth a storie of a certen man whose name was Damelius to whom a companion of his obiected that he had a stinking breath TheÌ„ departed he home vnto his Wife discontented chiding with her for not telling him therof before TheÌ„ his wife said surely I would haue done so quod she but that I thought that al menâ— breathes had smelt in that sorte and therfore very like it is that shee had neuer ioyned her mouth vnto any other mans Valerius also writeth in the sixt booke and third chapter of Tercia Emilia the wife of Scipio African whose singuler good will and pacience toward her husband was so great that perceininge that her Lorde bare good affection vnto one of her Handmaides she dissembled the matter and would not see it for that she would not séeme to suspect or blame her Lorde of incontinency or to moue him to impaciencie which was conquerour of the worlde Yea after her Husbands decease shee made her handmaid frée and bestowed her in mariadge with one of her frée men Lykewise Sulpitia was most diligently kept by her mother Iulia because shée should not follow her husband Lentulus into Italy who was proscribed and condemned to dye Howbeit she chaunged her atire and put one the garment of a seruaunt and taking with her two Handmaides and two men stole away secretly vnto him not refusing to banish her selfe that her faith might be knowne to her condemned husband Chapter 30. Of good widowes THe word Vidua which signifieth a Widow soundeth as it were Diuisa that is to say one that is deuided and parted fom her Husband And Valerius writeth in the first booke first chap. that in the old time those wéemen that were contented with one husband once marrying were crowned with a Garland of chastyty supposing that the tasting of many and often wedlockes was a token of a certen kinde of intemperancy Saint Ierome in his woorke against Iouinianus reporteth that when Catoes Daughter had mourned foure wéekes for the death of her Husband a certen Matron demaunded of her when she would make an ende of mourning who answered when she made an ende of lyuing Likewise the same Aucthour in his booke de Anima writeth oâ—her that when on a time a frind of hers perswaded her to marry another husband since she was yet but young and her beuty fresh flouring she answered that she would not For said she if I chance to finde as good an husbaÌ„d as I had before I will not stand in feare to léese him but if hee bee éeuel what néede I to trouble myself with sutch an one And agayne in the same place when one in the presence of Porcia praysed a certen woman which had buried one husband and Married the second she answered that a good and an honest woman neuer marrieth but once And semblably Valeria which was sister vnto the Messalas after the decease of her Husbande would neuer marry agayn and béeing demaunded the cause she answered that her husband alwaies liued vnto her Arthemisia also which was Quéene and wife vnto Mausolus kinge of Caria although in respect of her fidility towards her husbands shée bee singularly commended yet is she most praysed for that shee loued her Husbande alwayes as deerely when hee was dead as if hee had bin liuing and in the honour of him shee builded a most bewtyfull and renowmed Sepulcher in so mutch that thereof all greate and sumptuous Sepulchers are called Mausolea that is to say like Mausolus monument Chap. 31. Of Virgins COncerning Virgins Saint Ierome writeth against Iouinianus that it appeareth in how great honour virgins were had among the people of Rome for asmutch as Consuls and generalles of Armes sitting in their triumphat chariots wheÌ„ they returned home with conquest ouer their enemies and finally all kinde of degrees were accustomed in meetinge them go out of the way and giue them place Nichanor when hee had ouercome and subuerted the City of Thebes was taken in the loue of a captiue virgin And desiringe her imbracinges and company in the commendable lawe of wedlocke which thing a captiue might well haue liked of hee found by triall that vnto chast mindes virginity is more deare then a kingdome Whom the louer when shee was slayne held in his owne hand lamenting his owne greif and her most miserable condition Seneca in his sixt booke of declamacions reporteth that a vestale virgin wrote these verses folowing O happy married wiues your life is fraught with ioy For that I may not taste your state I die in great anoy Against which there was alleaged an answere in this sort As one that tried hast a man thou yeeldest vp the ghost Or diest bicause thou art denide the thing thou couetst most both which thinges ought to bée farthest from a woman of that cote For vnto thée the Magistrates do cast downe their faces in token of reuerence vnto thée the Consuls and Pretors giue the vpper hande in the stréetes and it is no small callinge to bee both a virgin and a priest and that which hath bin spoken with so great affection
Table I wyll say sumwhat out of the auntient Records of our Elders beginning with the most woorthy Personagies Chap. 1. ¶ Of Emperours ANd first to speake of Emperours how that some of that excellent calling haue bin very frugale sparing at their Boord as Suetonius in the third Booke of the liues of the. 12. Emperours writeth of Iulius Caesar saying that he dranke verie litle Wine whiche thinge his enemies could not deney and was indifferent about the residue of his diet Vpon a time when at the Table the good man of the house where hee supped had set before him olde preserued Oyle that was ranke stale in the steede of new and swéete when other in company refused it he only eate it greedely for that he would not séeme to reproue him that had inuited him to supper either of litle good manner or couetousnes The same Aucthour also saith of Augustus that hée was a man of small feeding and drunke but very litle wine for hee vsed not to drink therof aboue thrise at a meale Neither vsed hee commonly to drink Wine but when he was drie hee woulde dip a sop of bread in faire colde water or eate the slices of a Cucumber or of a gréene mellow Apple whose tast were tart or sumwhat like vnto wine In the Ieastes of the Romanes it is written that the Emperour Augustus was a very small féeder For he would eate common bread and litle fishes or cruddes made of Cowmilke which he would wringe in his hand or gréene Figges which he lyked well and these thinges would he eate in euery place and when so euer his Appetite serued Helinandus in his Booke of the institutions of Princes saith that Iulius Caeser committed his Baker to prison because hee gaue him better bread at his Table then he gaue to the residew of his Souldiours Suetonius also in his worke beefore alledged writeth of the Emperour Tiberius that at his first comming to the Empire he was very frugall and moderate but afterward hee grue so glouttenous and geuen to the bellie that in stéede of Tiberius hee was called Biberius for Claudius Caldius for Nero Mero that is to say one ouer much giuen to wine And vpoÌ„ a time spending two whole daies and nightes with Pomponius Flacchus Piso for a rewarde he gaue vnto the one the gouerment of the Prouince of Syria and to the other the Lieuetenantship of the same He lyked better of one that presented him with a Musshrom and a kinde of Birde called Ficedula then if it had bin a greater matter It is also written of the Emperour Vitellius by Egesippus in his fourth Booke of the destruction of Iherusalem When hee knew there was secret wait layd for him in the meane time he gaue himself to feasting and garmandize bicause he would not lose the famous ignominie of the shame that hung ouer him Hee was drawne from the banket hee was contemptuously insulted vpon and slaine in the midst of the Citie at one time together both sheading his bloud and vomyting his surfeat who if hée had liued any longer would haue deuoured the treasure of the Romane Empire in riot and banketinge To conclude hée had reigned but eight Moneths and fiue daies and yet Rome was able no longer to serue his bellye Ghap. 2. Of Kinges FRrontinus in his fourth booke and third chapter of warlike Pollicies reporteth how that Alexander king of Macedonia was vsed to eate of sutch bread as hée founde while hée traueiled vpon the waye Also in the fourth booke and vii chapter hee writeth in this manner Alexander kinge of Macedonia traueilinge by great iourneies through the desertes of Affrica both hée and all his armye beinge greatly athirst a souldiour offred him a draught of water in a Sallet which in presence of them all hee powred on the ground deseruing more prayse by that example then if hee had drunke it Helinandus in the place beefore recited telleth how that Piso desiering Romulus to supper and perceiuing how litle wine he had drunke at that meale O Romulus if euery man woulde do as thou doost wine would be better cheape Nay quod hée it would bee dearer if euerye man might drinke what hee would Valerius Max. in his fift booke and sixte chapter writeth that kinge Alexander vpon a time beeing repulsed from some purpose by a tempest in the winter beeholding an ould Macedonian souldiour quaking and béenummed with could and himselfe sitting in his regall seate by a good fier euen with those handes wherewith hee was woont to bestowe liberall rewardes hee tooke the ould man that was crooked and doubled with colde and set him in his owne place What merueill was it then if it were pleasant vnto them to serue so many yeeres vnder that captaine which esteemed more of the goodhealth of a common souldiour then hee did of his own dignitye In the same place it is also writen that Pyrrhus the king sayd that certen Tarentines had talked of him very broade and vndutifull language at a banket Then demaunded hee of one of the companye whether they had any sutch talke or not yea truly said hée wée had so indéede and vnles our wine had fayled vs these had bin but trifles in respect of that we would haue spoken So pleasant an excuse of their rioting so frank confession of the truthe turned the Kinges wrath into laughter By vsing of which clemency he obtayned this mutch that his Subiectes the Tarentines thanked him when they were sober and praied for him when they were drunken Chap. 3. Of Princes PLutrach of the institutions of Princes citeth the aucthoritie of Plato which saith thus when Potentates oppresse their subiects it is like as if the head of a body should swell to sutch hugines that the other parts were able scarcely or not at all to beare it but with great paine Likewise when the hier powers do hate and persecute the subiectes it is lyke as if the tutor should pursue his pupil to slay him with the sword which he gaue him to defend him against others Helâ—nandus in his booke of the institution of Princes saith that a Prince should do as the Phisition doth which neuer geueth extreme medicines but when he séeth that gentle pocions will neuer recouer the Pacients health Vnto which purpose said Lucius very well that it behoued a Prince to be an old man in manners to follow ripe and wise counsell and to imitate the order of good Phisitions which sumtime cure by filllnge that which is emptie in spare bodies sumtime by emptyinge that which aboundeth to much in full bodies aswaging the greife many times with hot burning irons often with fomentacions and sumtime otherwise vnto which intent hee setteth downe these verses To punish let a Prince be slow and quick to giue reward And let it greeue him when he is constrained to be hard Aristotle in the
third of the Politickes writeth thus whoso would haue wit and vnderstanding to gouerne saith he it semeth he would haue God and the lawes to gouerne but whoso will haue a man of himself without these to gouerne putteth a very sauedge beast in aucthoritie For when rage and lust beare sway then good men go to wrack so that vnderstanding without affection is as good as a written law Likewise Vegetius in his first booke and first chapter of the art of war it is decent for a Prince saith he that no man know mo things nor better things then he for his knowledge may profit all his subiectes and for that cause Princes ought to applie themselues to the study of wisdome Chap. 4 Of the Gentile Byshops VAlerius in his fift Booke and fift chapter writeth of Horatius Puluillus who being Bysshop and as hee was after the guise at those daies consecrating a great Church vnto Iupiter while he was pronouncing the solemne woordes holding the post in his hand woord was brought vnto him that his sunne was dead hee neither plucked his hande from the post neither changed his countinaunce from the publique religion to his priuat sorow because he would not séeme at that present to sustaine rather the person of a Father then of a Bysshop In the same place likewise he writeth of Xenophon who being offring a very solemne sacrifice it was tolde him that his eldest sunne was slaine Then did he only put of the crowne from his head demaunding of the messenger in what sort he was slaine And vnderstanding that he was killed fightinge very valiently he put the crowne vpon his head againe shewing that he tooke more ioy of his valiencie then he did greif of his vntimely death S. Ierome in the second booke against Iouinian writeth that Zenon that Stoick reporteth of the liues of the auntient priests of Egipt how that setting all worldly care and busines apart they alwaies remained in the Church searching the hid natures of things obseruing the motions of the stars They neuer companied with their wiues nor any woman nor neuer saw their children nor kinsfolks after the once they betooke theÌ„selues to diuine seruice They abstained froÌ„ eating flesh drinking wine chefly to auoid the motion to the flesh which coÌ„meth by those meats the drink They did seldome eate bread but they vsed oyle both to driue away lothsomnes and to take away the roughnes of their throats What shall I speake of foules séeing they eschewed egs and milke as fleash wherof they sayde the one was liquid fleash and the other bloud the coulour onely being chaunged They laide a footstoole vnder their heades in stéede of a pillow and fasted two or thrée daies togeather And Aristotle in the seauenth of his Politickes the Priests saith hée haue charge of althings appertaining to the God and to sée that houses bee kept vp tight in repairacions and those which bee fallen downe may be builded vp agayne and that others be appointed vnto their purposes and for this cause they bee had in reuerence Sum of these Bishops are termed by one man Princes by an other Kinges sum call them Potestates Prouosts and Maisters Sée then if the Priestes and Bysshops of the Gentiles were so religious continent and holie what ought our Christian Bisshops to be Chap. 4. Of noble Personages TVllie in his booke of olde age writeth that when a certen man in reproche saide vnto Themistocles that hee had no honour of himselfe but that all his estimacion came vnto him by reason of his cuntrey surely saide Themistocles if I were Seresius I should bee but a verlet and if thou were an Athenian thou wouldest neuer haue bin of any estimacion Cecilâ—us Balbus of the toyes of Philosophers writeth that when one a time one being borne of the race of a Senatour and at that present mutch imbased obiected to Epaminundas the vilâ—nes of his birth I am glad quoth he that I am rysen of my selfe and thou art fallen of thy selfe and wee both together are honour and dishonour Salust in the Oracion of Marius against Iugurth when one 〈◊〉 â—ery mutch in his owne conceit in respect of his owne 〈◊〉 and therfore reproched Marius basenesse although saith hâ—â— we haue one nature common vnto vs all that eueâ—â—◠〈◊〉 maâ— if he can be most valient and most noble yet if there â—â— anâ— man that despice-me let them do that which is a agréeable to their manners since the exercise of vertuous exploites is the verie beginning of mine honour They enuye at mine honour let them also enuie at my paines and mine innocency and my traueiles and my daungers for by these haue I woon it Now sée I beséech you how vniust they bée they wyll not suffer me to get that by mine owne vertue which they boast in themselues to haue bin gotten by another And because I haue no images and my Nobility is new and now first risen in my selfe which better it is to get first then to dishonour it being once gotten before As for mee in my iudgment there can no mans talke hurt mée For if they speake ill of mée my béehauiour shal declare their report to bée false The Speare and Shield Ensigne Barbed Armour for the Courser with other rewards of the Fielde and scarres in the fore parte of my body these are my Images this is my Nobilitie not left vnto me by inheritance as theirs is but gotten by mine owne aduentures and traueill And Iuuenall the Poet saith very well I rather had Thersites sun thou were so that thou might Like Pyrrhus beare Vulcanus Armes in midst of Martial fight Then if Achillus should beget one like Thersites foule A dastard wretch that could do naught but prattle scould skoule And Albertus vpon the first Booke of the Ethickes saith how it is read that the Emperour of Rome Dioclesian who gouerned that Empire very valiently was taken from among shéeperds And he is a right Gentleman saith Seneca that is naturally disposed vnto vertue Chap. 5. Of Knightes VAlerius Maximus in the third Booke and second Chapter writeth of a Knight that was Captayne of a band vnder Augustus and had geuen many a sharp shoure vnto Antonius and went away euermore with the better hand At length being taken by treason and brought prisoner to Alexandria Antonius asked hym what hee should do to him Then the Knight said commaunde mee to bee slaine quod hee for neyther with hope of life nor feare of death will I bee perswaded to forsake Caesar and serue thée Howbeit the more constantly hee despised his life so mutch the more easly hee obtained it For Antonius pardoned his life for his vertuous sake Frontinus in the fourth booke and first chapter of his warlike pollicies reporteth that when Flaccus and Varro were Consuls then were Knightes first dubbed and admitted vnto that order by an othe for before they were gouerned
chose him a secret place of rest where hée was far from the trouble of humane conuersation onely béestowing his time in diuine contemplacions And first hee contemned all titles of honour accoumpting those to bée the true honours which by perfection of wisdome hée had gotten Hee coueted after no worldly thing but iudged that to bee the true ritches namely whereby a garnished minde may finde out the originall of it owne aucthoritye Aristotle in the Secrets of secrets asketh thâ—â— question what sayth hee hath so aduaunced the Empire of the Gréekes to bée perpetually renowmed ouer all the world Surely that did the dilygence of students and the vertue of the wisemen which loued knowledge and science aboue all measure Aulus Gellius in his booke of the Nightes of Athens writeth that it is one of the greatest poincts of commendacion which was in Phillip kinge of Macedonia father vnto Alexander the Great that hée caused him whom hée thought should bée his heier to bee deliuered in charge vnto the most excellent Philosopher Aristotle to bee instructed in wisdome and learning And saith Seneca in that world which men coÌ„monly call the golden world Posidonius affirmeth that wise men gouerned kingdomes these contayned their handes from othermens goodes and defended the weake from the more mighty they perswaded men from dishonesty vnto honesty and through their wisdome they declared what was profitable and what otherwise Chap 10. Of Phisicions ISidorus in the third chapter of his Etimologies writeth that Apollo is reported to bee the first finder out of Phisicke amonge the Gréekes Which his Sun Esculapius broughte more into the light who was strickeÌ„ with a tempest of lightning and so died and by that meanes both the art and the authour perished together and lay vnknowne the space of fiue-hundred yéeres vnto the time of Artaxerxes king of the Persians at what time it was reuiued agayne by Hippocrates sunne to Asâ—ulapius Valerius writeth that when Alexander kinge of Macedâ—nia fell sick at Tharsis Phillip the Phisition made him a potion with his owne handes and ministred it vnto him For this Phillip was both an Earle and a Phisition And while hée was thus attendant vpon the kinge there were certen letters receiued and opened written to this effect That the king should take heede of Phillip as one of corrupted by Darius to poison him But so soone as the king had read the letters without any staying hée dranke of the Medicine and deliuered them vnto Phillip to read for whiche good opinion of his trustie friende and Phisition hée receaued of the Gods an immortall reward Howbeit I wote very well that Quintus Curâ—ius in the hystorie of Alexandeâ— the great telleth this storie otherwise namely how that Alexander returnynge from Babilon and spendyng longe time in rest and idlenesse hée renued the solemnitie of Feastynge and Banquettinge whiche of longe time hée had omitted and thus in a ioylitie hée spent an whole day and a night when Thessalus his phisition inuited him and his companions agayn to drinkynge a fresh And takyng the Pot in his hand when hee had drunk as it were half a draught hée suddenly stayde in the middes and cried out and his friendes reported that same to be the cause of his death But the trueth is there was Treason wrought agaynst him the infamie whereof was couered by the punishment of his successours And in déede Antipater was chéeif of the conspiracie and gaue the poyson vnto him Thus died Alexander in the xii yeère of his reygne his traitrous nobles falsly accusinge his faithfull Phisition of poysonyng him Chap. 11. Of youngemen MAcrobius in his fourth booke of Saturnalia reporteth how that Papirius when hée was but a childe came into the counsel court with his Father And when he returned home his mother demaunded of him what his Father had doone or sayd in the Senate counsel The child answered that he might not tel But when his Mother threatned to beate him vnlesse he would declare it immediatly he deuised a fine pleasant lye to stop his mothers mouth withal saying that it was disputed in the Counsel house whether it were more expedient for man to haue two wiues or for a woman to haue two husbaÌ„s This news told she immediatly vnto other MatroÌ„s gossips of hir acquaintaÌ„â—e And the next day there came a great flock of them to the Counsel house desiring the honourable assâ—Ì„bly the one womaÌ„ might rather haue .ij. husbands then one maÌ„ .ii. wiues The Senatours wondringe at that strainge request merueyled at their so vnreasonable and dishonest importuniti Then the childe resolued the Senat of that doubt she winge them what hee had tolde his mother The Senate imbraced the childes wit and faithfulnes and made an Act that heareafter there should no children come into the Senate with their fathers but hee onely Valerius also in the sixt Booke and fift Chapter writeth of Manlius Torquatus that while he was yong he was of so blunt and dul a wit that his father iudgeing him neuer like to bee profitable member to gouerne in the common wealth sent him into the cuntry to follow husbandry But afterward hee deliuered his father from danger of iudgment And likewise his cuntrey in the tumult among the Latines which was welnigh consumed in the conflict and obtayned therefore a most excellent triumph I suppose saith Valerius that he was imbased with this blemish of Fortune in his youth wherby the excellency of his old age might appeare more bewtifull And againe in the same place he saith Scipio surnamed Affricane whom the Gods would haue to be borne to the intent all vertue should be effectually expressed vnto men in him is reported to haue spent thriftely his younger yeares but farthest of all other from suspicion of lasciuious dissolutnesse And this also saith he hath Fabius Maximus puâ—â—â—ased vnto his posteritie that there was neuer any of better fame then hee while he was young neither did our Citie of Rome euer bring foorth one that in his age was of greater honour and estimacion Chap. 12 Of olde Men. TRogus Pompeius in his second Booke writeth of Alexander the great that on a time when hee was goinge foorth in a daungerous expedition he leuied his armie not of Cutters and lusty youthes but of such antient souldiours as had serued his father and his cuntry in foretimes to the intent hee might haue no common soldiers but rather teachers of Chiualrie about him Hee made no Captaines but men of thréescore yéere olde so that no man thought of fléeing but of haueyng that victory And Valerius speaking of the old Romanes ssith in those daies yong men honoured old age as though all olde men had bin their fathers Cicero in his Booke of old age reporteth that in a certen controuersie when Pisistratus the tirant demanded of Solon for what cause he durst resist him so boldly he answered because of mine olde
age Iosephus in the first booke of Antiquities Let no man saith hée thinke that to be false which is written concerninge the long liuing of our forfathers in the old time For in respect of their vertues and the singular profits which they deuised for mankinde as are the Artes of Geometrie Astronomie and such like GOD inlarged the tearme of their life for else they could neuer haue come vnto that perfection in them It is read in the Cronacles that about the yéere of our Lorde a thousand an hundred twentie nine Ioānes de temporibus which liued in the time of Charles the Maine and whose Squire hée was died Papius in the beginning of his Romane historie writeth that the same Romulus which builded the Citie of Rome and called it after his owne name chose into his counsell an hundred Senatours whose aduice hee might vse in all matters whom by reason of their yéeres and for the likenes of the charge he called Fathers Chap. 13 Of Citizens ARistotle in the third booke of his Politickes defineth a Citie after this maner A Citie saith he is an vnitie of those that be like méeting together to liue in happy societie And felicitie is a certen treasure surpassing all other thinges and the very exercise of all vertues And these be the things without which there can be no Citie for why the lyfe of man requireth many necessaries The first is foode then Arts next weapons to subdue the disobedient the fourth store of mony the fift instructions in religion whom they call Priestes the sixt a company of Judges to confer togeather what is right and what not if any of these be lacking it is no perfect city And therefore there must néedes bee Husbandmen to prepare Victuales Handycrafts men Warriours ritchmen Priestes and iudges And moreouer he saith whoso hath abilytie to participate or communicate that is to geue or take counsell to rule or to bee ruled the same is a perfecte Citizen Likewise Citizens ought to agrée and not to fall out for as saith Orosius in the second Booke of his Orchmestra the most wise Citizens of Athens beinge taught by their owne harmes haue said that smal things grow greater by concord and great things are destroyed by disagréement and whatsoeuer was done well or yll in their Commonwealth their Domesticall contention at home and their continuall warringe abroade subuerted all wheerby they left to their posterytie an example of ruine with small hope of recouery but yet a most certen lesson to learne that it is good to folow that counsell in prosterytie which seemeth best vnto vs when we were in aduersitie Vitarbius in his worke of Architecture or Building writeth that the Temple of Mars was builded without the walles of the Citie because their should be no bloudy dissention among the Citizens but their force should serue them to defend their walles in time of warre Chap. 14 Of Marchantes VAlerius in his seuenth Booke and fourth chapter maketh mencion of one Claudius Centimmalus who hauinge an House standinge very high vpon the top of the hill Celius in Rome was commaunded by the Colledge of Southsayers to take downe sumwhat of the height therof for that it hindred sumdeale the perfect view of their Southsayinge But hee immediatly solde it vnto Calphurnius Lauarius Then Cato beinge a man of greate integritie condempned the seller in the law for that hée toulde not faithfully to the byer both the commodities and discommodities like to ensue of the purchase whiche hee ought to haue doone Lykewyse the same Aucthour in the fyrst Booke and second Chapter writeth how that in the Prenestine Siege it fortuned that one which cought a Mouse sould him to another for two hundred Pence sutch was the scarcytie of victuales there But it chaunced not longe after that hee whiche sould it dyed for hunger hymselfe and he that bought it escaped a liue The lyke Example is reported by Frontinus of the Casseline Siege Aristotle in the first of the Politickes writeth that vpon a time a certen man reprochfully cast Millesius in the teeth that hee was a Begger as though Phylosophie were a knowledge vnprofitable to it selfe and in no respect benificiall to the Professours thereof Then Millesius perceyuinge by the iudgement of Astronomie that the next yeare there woulde bee but verye fewe Oliues in the Winter while there was great stoare hee gaue Monye in earnest vnto the Fruiterers and Maisters of Gardeines in Miletum and Tyrus vpon a price for all their Oliues the yeare following as though hee distrusted not but that there woulde be great stoare But when the tyme came and there were indeéde but fewe and manie called for them hee soulde them all suddainlye togeather makynge what price hee lyst and by that meanes gatheryng a great summe of Monie declared thereby how easie a matter it is for Phylosophers to bee rytch when they lyst but Ritches is not the thing that they séeks for In the same place it is also set downe that in the I le of Sicil a certayne Marchaunt suddaynlye bought vp all the Iron that was there aboute or that was to bee gotten out of the Mines Afterwarde there came strainge Marchauntes vnto the Marte and no man soulde Iron but hee onely not mutch raysing the price but of euery fiue Talentes hee gayned tenne Pence reseruing vnto himself a compotent profit But Dionisius the Tyrant tooke his goodes from him and would not suffer him as a finder out of wealth which thinge was mutch against his profit to dwel any longer in siracusis For as the expositour saith vpon that place tyrants may not abide to haue their subiectes ritch Chap. 15. Of husbandmen and Husbandrie IN the commendacion of husbandry Orosius in the seuenth booke saith that in the thrée hundred fourescore and eleuen yéere after the building of the citye of Rome Quintus Cincinatus which was Distator was found in the cuntrey and taken from the plough and taking the honoure vpon him and mustering his Armye obtained a great conquest ouer his enemies And Valerius writeth that they which were sent vnto Astilius to come take the whole gouerment of the army vpon him found him in the fieldes going after the plough tayll sowing of corne Howbeit those handes whiche were worne with exercise of husbandrye established the sure welfare of the commonwealth and vanquished hugie armies of raging enemies And those handes which not longe béefore guided the yokes of the drawing Oxen held then the reignes of the triumphant charret And Plinius in the xviii booke of the historie of nature it is the saying of Marcus Curius saith hee that thesame is a naughty Citizen that cannot bee sufficed to liue with seuen acres of lande What was the cause then that they had sutch plenty Forsooth their generalles and gouerners tilled the lande with their owne handes and the grounde reioyced at a Laureat share and a triumphant ploughman
And looke with what diligence they went into the warres with thesame they tilled their fieldes And ordred their land with as mutch care as they did their Camps Many times captaynes yea and whole Senates haue bin fet out of the cuntrey And now bondslaues till thesame ground and damned handes and proscribed countnances Valerius in the seuenth booke and tenth chapter telleth of Valerius Coruinus how hée béeing an hundred yéere olde and in good strength of bodye left beehind him not onely a wished example of dealing in Publique functions but also in tilling the land and all maner husbandrie And Noble Cicero in the fifte of his offices saith that among all trades wherby a man may liue ther is none to bee preferred beefore husbandrye nothing sweeter or more plentifull nor fitter for a gentleman Chap. 16. Of Handicraftes men ARistotle in his booke intitled secrets of secrets sheweth of the wonderfull operation of the influence of the Planets in the natures of men and other things by that which hapned vnto a childe the sunne of the kinge of India For when the childe his sunne was growne to some yeeres the king would haue had him brought vp in learninge for which intent hee sent him throughout all India and other Prouinces adiacent very honourably accompanied as it was beesittinge for the sunne of sutch a Prince But the fathers diligence profited him nothing at all for why the childes disposition could not bée brought vnto anye other thing but to bée an handicrafts man Wherwith the kinge beeinge mutch troubled in his minde sent for all the wise men of his Realme to come vnto him and when hee had told them that the cause why hée sent for them was to knowe their opinions concerninge his sun They answered him that hée should applye him to that wher to he was most inclined and so hée did In the same place also hee telleth of a certen weauer that had a sunne whose natiuity foreshewed that hée should bee a greate wise man full of graue counsell and in fauour with Princes And when his father would haue instructed him in his own art of weauing hee could not learne it Then did hee whip him and beat him and gaue him vp vnto his owne will and the bâ—y ioyninge himselfe vnto learned men obtayned knowledge and vnderstanding of the heauenly motions and of the gouerment of Princes and at length was made one of the kinges Counsellers Macrobius telleth in the seconde of his Saturnalia that when Augustus returned from the Acticane victory amonge those that went to gratulate his returne ther was one which caried a Chough whome he had taught to say God saue thee Caesar our Empe. vanquisher of Antonius being likewise saluted by a Parrat hee willed y they should both bebought And wondring at the same in a Pie commaunded that to bee bought also Which thing a poore Cobler béeholding taught a Crowe to speake in the same maner And béeing ouercharged with cost and séeing that his birde would not answere was woont to say often all my labour is lost all my labour is lost But at length when the birde had perfectly learned the salutacion hée offred her vnto the Emperour who answered that hée had already enow sutch Birdes at home which saluted him after that sort Then the Crowe by chaunce remeÌ„bring the other speach which his Maister mistrustinge his docility had often times vttred béegan to speake aloude before the Emperour saying I haue lost my labour I haue lost my labour wherat Caesar laughed and commaunded him to bée bought likewise Chap. 17. Of Ritch men AEMilius Probatus in his booke of Captaines of forrein Nacions telleth a storie of the Princes sunne of Athens how meruelous liberall hée was who hauinge fermes and grainges in many places of the cuntrey hee neuer put anye kéepers ouer his corne or frutes but suffred euery man to take what hée list his seruants followed him with monie to giue away if any lacked immeadiatly lest hée shoulde séeme to deney it by deferring it If hee saw anye man ill apperrelled hée woould giue him his owne clothes from his backe Hee alwayes prepared great plenty of meat that those whom hée found vnbidden in the stréets he mighte haue them all home vnto his house which hee did euery day and missed not His credite his helpe his goods neuer was failinge to any that had neede He encritched many and buried many poore folke of his owne cost Cecilius Balbus of the Philosophers toies reporteth that Agathocles kinge of Sicilia said that a man ought to vse plate of gold as hée would cuppes of clay for it is far more better to shine in good maners then in ritches He vsed at his meales to dine and suppe in earthen vessels and on a time when one demaunded of him the cause hée answered in this sort Of Sicil though I now bee Kinge a Potter was my sier Whoso to ritch and high estate shalt happen to aspire Arising eft from base degree vse fortune reuerently And call to minde what was thy state beefore thou rose so by And therfore this kinge considering the basenes of his parentage was content to féede in earthen vessel as other poore men are Valerius in his third booke and fift chapter reporteth that Marcus Curius at what time the Ambassadours of the Samnites came to speake with him bid that they should come into him wher they founde him sittinge vpon an euell fauoured fourme very homely Who merueiling at his pouerty and deliuering vnto him a great summe of Mony which they desiered him to accepte and to vse it at his néede and pleasure hée refused it willing them to tell the Samnites that Mar. Curius had rather rule ouer ritch men then be ritch himself And remember this quod hee that I can neyther bee ouercome in batteill nor corrupted with monie The same aucthour likewise telleth of Frabricius who was greater then any man in all the City in honour and aucthoritye and match with the poorest in wealth and reuenue who also sent backe vnto the Samnites many great giftes in whose tuition and charge they were Hee was ritch without mony and kept a great family for why it made him ritch not to possesse mutch but to desier sufficient Chap. 18. Of Poore men FRontinus in his fourth booke first chapter telleth how that Scipio after the hee had atchiued notable exploits in Spaine writeth that according vnto a law made by Seleucus against adultrie his sunne who was apprehended in the same should haue lost both his eies And when the whole City for the honour and duty which they bare to the father deured that the punishment might bee remitted long time refusing to bée intreated but at length relenting at the peoples sute first putting out one of his owne eies and next one of his sunnes notwithstanding fulfilled the whole punishment deuiding himselfe as it were beetwéene a mercifull father and a iust
iudge In Policratus the fift booke and second chap. it is set down that when on a time there arose a certen controuersie béetweene King Alexander and certen of his souldiours and the kinge had the foyle in the field iudgment hée thankefully accepted the iudgment and gaue great thankes to the iudges whose faith hee had experimented in preferring iustice béefore the respect of any Potentate Chap. 23. Of Lawiers AVlus Gellius in his Nightes of Athens telleth an historie of a young man who cumming to Pithagoras to be instructed in eloquence promised him a great summe of mony for his paine to bee payd that day when hee first pleaded cause beefore the Judges and obtained it But when hee had well profited in the art and would take the handlinge of no causes vpon him Pithagoras conuented him beefore the iudges saying vnto him now will I haue my reward whether sentence go with thee or against thee For if sentence go on shy side then my rewarde is due and if it go againste thee then is it due also for haue I iudgment on my side Theâ— answered the schollar vnderstand this mutch Maister quod hee if sentence go on my side then owe I nothinge vnto you by vertue of the sentence and if it go against mee then by our bargaine I owe you nothing bicause I preueill not and am not well taught Which controuersie the iudges perceiuing to bee very litigious and doubtfull deferred the Matter vnto a very long day so that I iudge the case is not yet discussed Heylinandus in his second booke of the institucion of Princes telleth how on a time Demosthenes demaunded of Aristodius what reward hee had receiued to speake who answered a Talent and I quod Domosthenes had a more to hould my peace Thus a man may see that some Lawiers tungues may do hurt vnlesse they bée tied with a siluer chein and many times they sell aswel their silence as their words Valerius writeth in the seuenth booke and third chapter howe that two men which were geastes in a house brought certen mony and deliuered it vnto the goodwife with this promise that shee should deliuer it againe vnto them both togither And a good while after the one of them came and deceiued the woman requiringe the monie and sayinge that his fellowe was dead which she foorth with deliuered Not long after the other came also and demauÌ„ded the mony Wherat the poore woman beeing in distresse made the oratour Demosthenes of her counsel who made this answere in her behalf My friend quod hee this woman is redy to tender the mony but shee may not pay it to you vnlesse your fellow come with you for as you say this was the agreement beetweene you that it shuld not bee payd to the one of you without the other Cecilius Balbus in the place beefore recited telleth of an auncient souldiour of Rome who on a time being in some daunger beefore the iudges beesought Caesar to come avrode into the court to helpe him Vnto whom Caesar appointed a good lawier Then the souldiour said O Caesar quod hee when thou wast in danger in the Asiane warre I sought not a deputy but I fought myself for thee and there with all hee discouered vnto him the skarres of the woundes which hee had receiued there for him Immediatly Caesar sprang foorth and came to helpe him fearing lest he might seeme not so mutch proud as vnthankefull Chap. 24. Of great mens Bailiffes IOsephus in the thirtenth booke and twelueth chapter of Antiquities writeth how that the Emperour Tyberius was sumwhat hard and waiward in all his busines and affaires and looke what Receiuers hee had appointed in Prouinces hee seldome or neuer changed them And beinge demaunded why hee did so hee answered bicause hee spared the poore people For if the Receiuers knewe that they shoulde haue their office but short time then would they sucke vntill the blood folowed and how mutch the shorter time they shoulde bee in office so much the more intollerable they would deale and they that came new would destroy all that they founde Which saying of his hee confirmed by the example of a man that lay wounded by the way in the Summer season and would not haue the flies driuen away which were about the wounde And one which came vpon the way supposing that of weaknes hee had let them alone draue them away Ah sayd he you haue done ill for these flies were now full of blood and troubled mee but litle and the freshe ones whiche come will sting mee more sharpely Euen so new appoynted officers do pinche the commons more eagerly Aristotle in the Secretes of Secrets writeth in this wise vnto Alexander Neuer set sutch a Bailiffe to rule in anye place which wil bee corrupted with mony for in so doinge thou shalt subuert thy realmes and beesides thou canst repose no assurance in sutch a one as gapeth after treasure and commodity For hee serueth thee for the golde and giueth vp his sences vnto mony and by pouling of others seeketh to fill vp vp his bottomlesse bagges And looke how mutch his mony increaseth so mutch the loue therof groweth and perhaps the loue of mony may induce him to the destruction of thy selfe and thy kingdome And shortly after in the same place hee setteth downe fiftéene conditions generally to bee required when wee would get or choose a Bailiffe The same Aucthour likewise in the second booke of his Rethorickes prouing that Procuratours Rent gatherers Bailiffes Receauers ought not vpon small occasion to be chaunged wher hee vseth for proofe Esops fable of the wounded Foxe goinge vpon the way and the flies which sate vpon him and sucked his blood Then the Vrcheon comming by mooued with compassion would haue driuen them away To whom said the Fox do not so I pray you for these are now full of blood and if new should come they would molest mee more as new Bailiffes and Stuewards doo Chap. 25. Of Frindes and Frindship VAlerius in the fourth booke and fourth chapter writeth of a paier of frindes called Damon and Pithias which were so faithfully linked in frindship that when Diâ—nisius the tyrant would haue put one of them to death and had giuen him respite before hée died to go home and dispose his goods in order the other of them doubted not to yéelde his life in pleadge for his frinde And when the day of his returne approched and hée was not yet came euery man condemned this foolish suerty of folly Howbeit hée sayd that hée doubted nothing of his frindes constancy But at the verie same houer and moment when his friend should haue died in his stéede hée came and offred himselfâ— to death Whose frindship and constancy the tyrant wondring at forgaue the punishment and moreouer requested them to let him bee the third frind and to receiue him into their constant band of amity Likewise the same Aucthour in
that it seemed to procéede froÌ„ the very hark intrailes must needes bee true that what woman soeuer wisheth the act euen without the act doing is an harlot Valerius in the seuenth booke and third chapter writeth of a certen vestale virgine in Rome called Tuccia whose chastity beeing obscured with a sinister report of incontinency and shee her selfe beeing priuy of her owne innocency tooke into her handes a siue and thus prayed vnto the goddesse Vesta saying Vesta if I haue alwayes touched thy sacrifices with chaste and vndefiled hands commaund that I may take water out of the riuer Tyber with this Siue and cary it into thy Temple Which indeede shee accomplished the common course of Nature giuing place to her boulde attemptes Likewise Saint Ierome in the place béefore alleaged writeth of another vestale virgin named Claudia who béeinge suspected that shée had playd the harlot and at that presente the Image of the mother of the Gods stuck fast in the Oase of Tyber in a shippe to giue example therfore of her integrity it is reported how shee tied her girdle vnto the shippe and that shée drew it so away more theÌ„ many thousand men were able to accomplish And Saynt Augustine in his woorke de ciuitate Dei writeth that the antient Romanes were wount to bury aliue the vestale virgins that were corrupted and whatsoeuer other Wéemen were taken in adultrye they were one way or another punished but none were put to death supposinge it méete to punish more seuerely the breach of a deuine vowe then of humane chastity And thus as I iudge I haue runne ouer all sortes of men with whom a man may happen to bée conuersant with all at the table FINIS ¶ The third Booke of Table Phylosophy which containeth certen delectable and pleasant Questions to be propounded while wee be at meate or at any other time The Preface NOw since we haue already breifly intreated concerning the manners and behauiour of those with whom wee may chaunce to be accompanied at the table next it remaineth that with like breuity we run ouer certen pleasant questions of table talke For as witnesseth Macrobius in his first booke of Saturnalia A well nurtered minde cannot solace it felfe with more profit or seemelines then in taking opportunity to dispute and demaund questions after a learned and vertuous manner and if neede be to answer with courtesy and men cannot question of any thing with greater delight then of matters of learning And therfore as saieth the same Macrobius in the third booke the first thing which we ought to obserue at the table is to weigh the estimation and callinge of euery geast and the next to take occasion when he seeth it offred to speake not to poure forth our own secretes amonge the cuppes neither yet to minister crabbed and vnpleasant talke but rather profitable and delightsome Questions ¶ The first Chapter containing fiue seuerall Questions FIrst therefore and foremost this may bee demaunded whether that the Aier or Meate bee more necessarie for the preseruation of the lyfe of Manne And it séemeth of the twayne that Meate is more necessary since that is more necessarie whiche supplyeth that substaunce whiche is lost and whiche may be a member or part of a member of the bodie of whiche nature is our Meate according to the assertion of Auicen But indeede Constantinus is of the contrary opinion sayinge that Aier is more necessary to the body prouing the same both by Reason and experience By Reason thus Life consisteth in naturall heate because naturall heate is the beginninge of lyfe wherfore that thinge which tempereth naturall heate retayning it in the naturall temperature is more necessary but the Aire which by way of breathinge wee drawe in is of sutch sort whâ—rfore it is more necessary By experience thus If a man be suddenly brought out of a stinkinge close prison first he desiâ—eth to take the fresh Aier and afterwarde calleth for Meate and Drink But against the reason first alleaged it may bee answered negatiuely for lyfe consisteth in two points the one is a beginning sumwhat far of as restoringe that which is lost and the conseruation of all the members and parts In respect of which the nourishing of natural heat is most necessarie whiche is immedyatly and principally maintained by the qualities of the Aire And therefore Aier is more necessary to the preseruacion of lyfe for that it respecteth the life principally and immediatly Secondly it may be demaunded which of the two Meate or Drynke is more necessarie vnto life To this may bee answered that Meate is although that Drinke bee commonly more desired then Meate The reason of the first is that that is more necessary which restoreth the thinge whiche is lost then that which serueth onely to conuey the iuce about al the body But Meate is ordained to restore the parts and Drink to cary the meate about the body wherfore the conclusion is manyfest And that Drink is more gréedely desiered the reason is for that drink delayeth the vehemency of natural heat in which respect it is more necessary vnto lyfe then Meate as is the Aier also Thus Drinke hath two offices first it conueieth the Meate vnto all partes of the body and so is Meate a thing more necessary then drink Secondly it mitigateth the naturall heate and preserueth it in the iust temperature and is therby more necessarie then meate Wherfore any lyuinge creature can longer liue without meate then drinke Thirdly this question may be demaunded Wether euel Aier or euell Meate do more hurt the bodye Whereunto it may be absolutely answered that éeuell Aier hurteth more for that it is more noisome vnto the hart which is the fowntaine of Naturall heat and of the spirites Howbeit wee may vse a distinction herein that a thinge may do harme after diuers manner of wayes Fyrst if it touche some noble and princypall part and the other thing do not so Secondly if it alter it often times and it cannot otherwise be avoyded Thirdly if it touch it immediatly And by these three meanes éeuill Aier hurteth more then éeuell Meate For it toucheth a principall parte and it is often drawne in and it toucheth the part immediatly Fourthly a thinge may hurte the more because it maketh a stronge impression Fiftly if it continnue there longe and cleaue longe time vnto the â—â—â—ber And by these last meanes corrupt meate eaten aâ—â—â— more then naughtie Aier drawne in â—â—urthly this demaund may be moued Whether Meate â—â—â—pe do more comfort the bodye It may bee answered 〈◊〉 lack of Meat doth more gréeue the body then lack of sléep and therby concluded that Meat is more necessary then sléep And the reason is this for the sléepe restoreth not that which is lost neither appeaseth the vehemency of natural heate from woorking vpon the natural moisture which being consumed then death is at the dore which meat doth wherfore it is more necessary Moreouer
could not absolue him vnlesse he would make restitution Then said the Vsurer do the Scriptures and learned men say so Yea quoth the Priest But I will see first whether they say true or not sayd the Vsurer for yet I will not make restitution therfore in Gods name you may depart An Vsurer which was sundrie times mooued to make restitution notwithstandyng could not be therto perswaded Falling sicke and waxyng weake to the death he sent for a Priest and desired to haue the Rites of the Churche The Priest denied him vnlesse he would restore the goods ill gotten which the Vsurer refused to do When the Priest was departed he waxed weaker and weaker and was euen at the poynt of death and the Priest was sent for in all hast to commend his soule vnto God but hee could not bee founde Then quoth the Vsurer I my selfe commende my Soule vnto all the Diuels of Hell and so died But when hée was dead his friendes besought the Priest that he would burie the body in the Holly procession pathe which hée denied to do Now the Priest had an Asse which serued him for none other purpose but to carry his bookes to the Churche and knew none other way but that Wherfore the Vsurers friendes desired the Priest to shew thē so mutch curtesy as to let them lay the Corse vpon the Asses backe and looke whether soeuer hee carried it there to bury it supposing that hée would go directly to the Churche or home to the Priestes-house bicause hée knew none other way The Priest was contented and the body was layd vpon the Asses backe and hée went forwarde neuer turnyng to the righthand nor to the left vntil he came vnto the Gallowes and cast him downe there vnder the gallowes and there was buried amonge his fathers Chap. 14. Certayne mery iests of rude Husbandmen of the Countrey WHen kyng Liberius of whom Macrobius writeth in the third booke of the Saturnalia was lately aduanced from the plow tayle vnto great riches hée called certein Philosophers vnto his table mocking at their oftē controuersies quiddities in Philosophie desired them to resolue him certein questions Namely why of white and blacke beanes grounde together there riseth Meale of one couler Wherat Aricides disdaynynge then answer thou mée this question sayde hee why if a man whip with a Lash made of white and blacke thonges the strippes looke all alike whiche they make A younge delicate Cocknie of the Citie was married vnto a ritche Fermour of the Countrey And alwayes against hée should come home to dinner or supper from his woorke she prepared him some fine litle deintie dish in a potenger wherwith he was mutch discontented And once she dressed him a capō for his supper wherat he was much more offended then before This prety parnel seing that she could not please him went and complayned to her mother of the matter who asked of her what she gaue him to eate who answered this and that and recited as before is written Then sayd hir mother thou art mutch deceiued but henceforwarde set béefore him a great bowle full of Beanes and Peason with browne Bread for hée is a labourynge man and must bée grosely fead Now when the daughter had followed her mothers aduise he laughed and was mery and sayd that he laughed at the Capon which shée dressed for him the day before but truer it is that hée reioysed bicause his belly was full There was a woman which could neuer make Breade that would please her husbande On a time strippyng her selfe naked and wasshyng her selfe cleane all her body ouer shée made Dough and moulded it vpon a stoole and when she was wearie shée forgat herself and sat downe vpon the stoole and the Dough cleaued to her Buttockes Anon shée arose and sought for it and her husband asked her what shée looked for and she sayd for the lofe which I haue made for thine own tooth Mary quoth hée it sticketh to thy buttocks and then the cleanly huswife remembred hir self An honeste stronge woman of the Cuntreye when her husband came home from woorke out of the fieldes hauing one of his eies so grieuouslye hurte that he could not see with it would needes blesse her husbands other eie that it might not bée infected by that which was sore And so while both his eies were stopped her sweet hart whom she had hid vp in a corner slipt out of the doores the husband not seinge him chap. 15. Of mery Iestes of the Iewes A Certein Jewe fell into a ditch vpon a Saterday which is the Jewish Sabboth at what time ther came a Christian by and would haue helpen him foorth but hee would not sayinge that he must not violate the Sabbath day The next day the Christian passed by again and the Jewe called vnto him desiring him to helpe him foorth But hee answered this day is Sunday and now I may not breake my Sabbath and so the wretch remained there A good fellow in Merseborow in an euening stole away a poore widows Cow brought her in the night vnto a Jewe to whom hee pawned her for fiue shillinges and the same night he stole her away agayne from that Jewe and pawned her vnto another Jewe for so mutch mony and againe the same night he stole her from him and pawned hir vnto the third Jewe for the like some Then deuising with himselfe how the widowe might come by her Cow agayne he stole her likewise from the thirde Jewe and brought her home in the morning betimes by the horns And meting with the widowes mayd that was goinge to the brooke to washe clothes he chid her saying that if he had not ben the cow had bin lost for euer Thus the knaue serued his owne necessity for mony deceiued the greedy Jewes and restored the widow her cow Chap. 16. Of mery Iestes of Theeues A Theif wandring in the woodes by chaunce met with a Priest and said vnto him that he would fain be shreuen For said hee there passed to day a Priest by this way and I tooke his Horse from him and therfore I praye you inioyne me penance Then quod the Priest giue me fiue shillings to say masse for thine offence and the theif told him out ten shillings into his hande sayinge take here fiue shillings for the Priests horse whiche I tooke away this day and bicause you make so good a market I giue you fiue more for the Horse wheron you ride and so hée tooke away his horse also Ther was a theif which had stollē a poore mans goose who complayned therof vnto the Priest of the Parishe desiringe him to speake to the people therof out of the pulpit the next Sunday When Sunday was come and the Priest in the pulpit hee bid all the people sit down and when they answered that they were all seat nay said the Priest for hee is not yet set that stole the pooremans
in her whyle shee hath the company of a fuller A woman seeing a souldior valiently behauing himselfe in a turneameÌ„t much coÌ„mended him fell in loue with him But wheÌ„ he put vp his beauer to take the ayre the womaÌ„ coÌ„ming apace to see him perceiued that it was her husband shee made a mock at the matter cared not for him A certaine ielous man set two ouerseers to tend vpon his wyfe who passing by the house where her louer was for the nonce fel downe in the myre And leauing her two keepers at the doore shee fayned an excuse to goe into that house to washe her selfe when shee had made merye with her louer shée came forth went her way There was a woman which oftentimes would say vnto her husbaÌ„d that if he should dye shée would neuer marry more But when he was dead shee talked as touching marrying another euen by his coffins side her mayd rebuked her saying that her masâ—er was warme yet If he be warme quod the mistres I wyl blow vpoÌ„ him tyll he be cold A certaine ielous husbande followed his wyfe to confession whom when the Priest should leade behind the Aultar to be displyed the husband perceyuing it doubting the worst cryed vnto him saying heare yee master Person my wyfe is young tender I pray you let mee be desplyed for her And kneeling downe before the Priest I pray you quod the wyfe to the Priest strike him hard for I am a great sinner A woman whose husband had swynged hyr well went vnto a Gentleman that was disseased and tolde him that her husband was a very good Phisition but that he would cure no man vnlesse he were fyrst well beaten Then she caused him to goe thither from whence he brought home his back full of stripes and thus his honest wyfe was reuenged on him Chap. 19. Merie iestes of maydens and young vvomen AN olde woman which was desirous to make a matche betweene a young man a mayde caused a lytle bytch which shee had to eate mustarde and when the bytche wept with the strongnesse of the mustard shée shewed hir vnto the mayd saying that somtyme shee had beene a mayd for refusing a young man which loued her intirely shee was chaunged into a bytch for sorrow therof wept so continually Which thing the mayd hearing consented vnto her louer A certayne young man gaue himself to the Deuyl for a mayd which he loued ardently and could not obtaine her loue But when the Deuil also doing his best saw that he could not bring it to passe to make hir loue the young man hée went to an old woman promised hyr certayne skinnes for a reward if shée could mollifye the maydens heart Which when shee had brought to passe and required the skynnes of the Deuyl he reached them vnto hyr vpon the ende of a long poaâ—e saying I dare not come nere thée bicause thou art worse then I am according vnto the olde verse A wicked woman fraught with all euyll Is by three farthinges worse then the Deuyll A good honest whore woman being by hyr husband taken a bed with hyr louer consulted with an olde mother Bee of hyr acquaintaunce how to excuse the matter But the olde woman perceyuing that the husband the night before had eaten an hearb called Cheruile vnto his supper sought occasion to méete him in the stréete and saluted him saying God saue you both Then sayd the husband why speakest thou thus vnto mée since I am alone Then shée rubbed hyr eyes saying a vengeance on this hearbe Cheruile which I eate the last night for â—uer it maketh mée to take one for twaine The husband remâ—mbring that hée likewyse had eaten Cheruile the nyght before thinking the old wyues tale to bée true and that it had wrought in him the lyke effect helde his wyfe excused A certaine olde woman hearing a young wyfe euermore gyuing hyr husband ouerthwart answeres for that cause had borne him many a blow sayd vnto her if thou wylt I wyll tell thée how thou shalt lyue in quiet with thyne husband wherevnto shee wyllingly agreed Then quod the olde woman thou shalt goe into my garden at the full of the Moone and knéele downe before the hearbe called wormwood and desyre it to tell thée some counsell that is good And marke well what the hearbe sayth vnto thée and doe so At the tyme appointed the olde woman hyd her selfe behind the bushe of wormwood and when the young woman according to her instruction began to vtter her request to the hearbe saying O thou most bytter wormwood tell mée what I shall doe that is good the old woman answered If thou wylt liue in peace and rest Answere with reason for that is best And euer after shee vsed her toÌ„gue better liued more in quiet Chap. 20. Merye iestes of Boyes BOetius in his booke of the discipline of schollars wryteth a storie of a boy whom his parents corrected not in his youth for his naughtie demeanour But increasing euery day more more in wickednesse at last coÌ„mitted such great robberies that he was led to the gallowes to be hanged desyring to kysse his father ere he dyed came vnto him and byt of his nose saying that if he had corrected him for smal faults wheÌ„ he was a chyld he had not then come vnto that shame A certayne lytle boy séeing his father beating his mother euery daye hearing him saye one night when he was a bed that he had forgotten to doe one thing I know what that is quod the chyld what sayd the father Mary sayd he to beate my mother A man had two sonnes wherof one alwaies craued a piece of whatsoeuer was at the boord whom the father rebuked set them both togither on a stoole And when the young boy saw meat on the table that he lyked durst not aske it he hemmed and the father threw a piece of meate at the other Then sayd the lytle one what a paine is this that I must hem and another must haue the meate Chap. 21. Merye iestes of blâ—nde folke SEneca the wyfe in his fifty two Epistle writeth thus vnto a friend of his you know Harpasta the foolish woman my wife whose eye sight sodainlye fayled her Shee requesteth of her schoolemaster to goe into another house saying that it is verye darke where shée now is In â—raiectum the lower there was a blinde man which by begging had gotten twenty poundes in Turone groates which he hyd vp in the parishe Church where he dwelt vnder one of the pewes which the clarke perceiuing sought for in the same place found it and caried it away The next morning the blind man seeking for the money according to his custom not finding it sayd vnto his boy leade me into the chancel among the chaplins marke whom thou seest
had saued mony enough to redéeme his Church lands which his predicessour had layd to morgage But he answered that he was far more liberal then his predicessour for sayd he I haue payd his debts and mine owne also A Bishop in France promised Philip the French Kynge that the first Prebend that fell in his gift he would giue it to whome soeuer it pleased the Kynge And when many fell voyde and the kyng was pleasured with none he was sore offended To whom the Bishop sent this answer desiring his grace not to be offended for he had yet giuen neuer an one of them but sould them all The Bishop of Mentz coursed an Hart and after long ruÌ„nyng the beast leapt into a deepe ponde and a greate Pike caught him fast by the throat And when the Hart came out of the water hee brought the Pike with him hanginge by his throat and so hée tooke them bothe and sent pieces of them abread for present to his friends A certain Priest was accused vnto the bishop of the Diocesse for buriyng his dead Asse solemly with Dirige Masses of Requiem And béeing much rebuked for so doing he certified the Bishop that it was a very godly Asse had made a will had bequeaâ—hed his Lordship fiue pounde which he had now brought vnto him And when the Bishop had receiued the money he said let him then rest in peace so discharged the priest A noble younge Gentlemen that was a schollar in Paris sayd that all Bishops in France were blinde bicause they gaue not som good benefice to his maister beyng but poore and well learned Not long after being himself made a Bishop he was so blinded with his spirituall promotion that he neither gaue his poore maister any thing but on a time when he came to Paris his Maister went and met him bearyng a couple of Waxe candles burnyng in his hand And when the Bishop asked him why hée did so hée answered bycause your lordship should sée mée for you are blinde A certain Bishop had many yonge Nephewes and Kinsfolkes in his house which alwaies sat at meate at a low table before him and whensoeuer any preferment fell voyde he repulsed other and bestowed it vpon one of those Then a man of worship whom the Bishop had bid to dinner set himself downe at the childrens Table And béeing demaunded by the Bishop why hée did so hée answered that hée could not be preferred sittyng at any other Table neither knew he any other then those that sat there aduanced by him vnto any dignitie Chap. 28. Of Archdeacons AN Archdeacon being in visitatioÌ„ spent whole daies in feasting making good chéere when the people looked that he should haue preached vnto them the word of god And as hee was going from hearyng Masse vnto dinner an olde woman sayd vnto him that they looked for that which was his dutie to do meaning to shew them their duties out of the word of god Well quoth the Archdeacon I will not call thée to counsell what I had best to do But shée answered surely he had small care of our soules that put them in trust to thée An Archdeacon visited his parish Church from which hée was promoted vnto the Archdeaconrie And there came vnto him an husband man to aske counsell saying M. Archdeacon I married a poore wife and now I know where I may haue a ritch one is it lawful for mée to fâ—rsake the poore one and to take the ritche The Archdeacon answered by no meanes Then said the husbandmaÌ„ but you haue forsaken a poore church and keepe a ritch Archdeaconry Which he hearing gaue vp his Archdeaconry and returned to his owne Churche A certein Priest against his Archdeacon shoulde come in visitacion hauinge none other prouision killed a litle Asse which hee had and dressed him in the stead of Veale and wheÌ„ the Archdeacon fead hungerly theron at dinner and the Priest himselfe woulde eate none the Archdeacon demaunded the cause Then quod the Priest your Mastership saith that I haue wit and learning litle ynough already and therefore I neede to eate no asses fleash When the Archdeacon heard this he arose from the table in a rage and immediatly departed chap. 29. Of Canons and their mery Iests IVlius in his booke of Bees writeth an history of one Philip that was Chancellour of Paris who hauing many benefices was in his sicknes admonished by the Bysshop to resigne theÌ„ vp for feare of longer incurring Gods displeasure who answered that hee would try the truth of that béefore the greate iudge But shortly after hee was dead hee appeared vnto the Bysshop like a shadow and sayd I most miserable wretch am damned and that cheifly for thrée causes First for my fruites which I kept from the poore Secondly for my pluralitye of benefices And lastly for my detestable whoredome Moreouer hee sayd is the world yet at an end Then quod the Bysshop I marueill that thou hauinge in thy life time beene a great clarke and seeing mee and other liuing who must all die beefore that day come shouldest aske mee that question But hee sayd marueill not at all for in hell there is neither knowlegde nor reason Maister Albertus sayd vnto a Canon of Colein which came home from the Court with a dispensation to haue many benefices Before you might haue gone to Hell without licence and now you must néedes go thither by vertue of your dispensation There was a Canon which had two Canonries one in one Church another in another the dreamed one night the two staues were reatched vnto him and the same night the bishops of both Churches died Then some of his familiars expounding his dreame said that he should be chosen bishop in both places and riding out the next day morninge he fell from his horse and brake both his legges and was faine to go with two crutches to beare himselft vp withall Chap. 30. Of the Hault and Lame ON a time there came vnto a sanctes church so many hault and Lame people to be cured that the Priest could not driue them foorth Then said the priest giue me your staues I wil heale you all And when he had them he sent for fier beinge demaunded what he would do with it Burne him that is most lambe quoth he that you may all be healed with his Asshes And when they heard this they ran all away Cap. 31. Of Priests A Certain poore lecherous Priest had a concubine whom he loued well wherof the Archedeacon hearing commanded him either to forsake his Church or to leaue his concubin But being loth to depart from his Concubine he resigned his benefice and when the harlot saw that he had nothing now to liue withall she would tarie no lenger with him and so he lost both profit and pleasure together A certein Priest had two Concubines one yonge another olde The younge bicause